


A Cup of Coffee and a Bubble Bath

by bstix



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Disability, F/F, Family, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 18:40:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 190,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13129689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bstix/pseuds/bstix
Summary: Their lives were seemingly perfect. Happily married. Loving family. Peaceful town. It's the little, innocuous decisions you make every day that can cost you everything. Established SQ.





	1. Emma's Day

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Once Upon a Time.
> 
> A/N: The story roughly follows canon and is set a few months after the end of season four. Important exceptions are the Dark One storyline didn't occur and Hook and Hood weren't romantic interests as SQ are now married. I've also taken creative liberties with what magic can and can't do. This is my first piece of creative writing/fanfiction ever, so any constructive criticism is appreciated.  
> Thanks for reading this story, I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Originally posted on FF.net from July-Dec 2016.

Emma grunted as she tapped snooze on her alarm. She wasn't a morning person. Her wife, on the other hand, had clearly risen far earlier, as her side of the bed was cold, and Emma could smell her shampoo mixed with coffee in the air. Grudgingly Emma rose, cracked her neck and thought about the day ahead. Paperwork is all that came to mind. As much as she liked the peaceful tranquility that had blessed Storybrooke recently, it meant her job as Sheriff lacked the excitement and physicality she enjoyed. Most days she had quietly sat in the station and filled out enough budget reports and funding forms to appease the Mayor, who just so by happened to be her wife. The upshot of such banality was that she loved coming home, longed for it from the second she clocked in. Her father's jokes would help the time pass, but Emma would mostly think about how amazing it would be just to cuddle on the couch at the end of the day, holding the love of her life.

The bedroom door creaked open, and there Regina stood, wide awake, fully clothed in a designer pantsuit and with a smile passed Emma a strong cup of coffee. It was something Regina started to do when they were dating. She vehemently disagreed with any food or drink in the bedroom unless the flu was keeping you there. However, Emma's post-sleep incoherent mumblings and disheveled blonde locks told her that a cup of caffeine was the best way to motivate the woman to start her day. It worked too. Regina took great pleasure in it. It was one thing she could do every day to make Emma's life better, simpler, happier. Gratefully Emma sipped the beverage and gave Regina an inquisitive look.

"It's the new Ethiopian blend, thought we would try it today. You like it?" Regina asked hopefully. She had found it smooth and bold.

"It's delicious. Granny's has nothing on this," Emma said with a tired smile. "Thank you. I hope there is plenty more? I'd like to take some to work for Dad to try. He likes to think of himself as a connoisseur, even though they drink pre-bought Starbucks ground at home."

Regina giggled with a nod as she kissed Emma's head then left to wake their teenage son, Henry, for school. Emma gathered herself, found the motivation to get showered and dressed and finally met her family in the kitchen with her empty coffee cup dangling from her finger. Breakfast was as routine and mundane as domestic life could be. Few words were spoken, but bowl placement, spoon gathering, and beverage pouring occurred like a coordinated dance. It was something Regina and Henry had done for years it seemed. When Emma joined the household she was expected to play her role and silently understood her job would be making the toast and putting the cereal options on the table.

It was important to Regina that they did this. She would prefer the family meal of the day was dinner, but she quickly realized it was harder to organize. Emma's Sheriff duties often meant she had swing shifts, worked late and was generally unreliable for being anywhere at 6:30 PM consistently. As Henry had grown, he too was becoming a challenge to control. His teenage whims meant dating, 'hanging out' or possessing a general inability to tell time because a new comic book was out. Therefore, breakfast. This was Regina's time, and Emma and Henry knew it. She had wanted this her whole life: to have a family of her own whom she loved and loved her equally back. It was twenty minutes in a day that was just theirs.

* * *

Emma was bored. There was no other word for it. She had been playing solitaire on her work computer for ninety-seven minutes. It wasn't even spider solitaire to challenge her. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed to go outside. Her father, meanwhile, seemed to enjoy the drudgery of their work and sat quietly reading a book at his deputy sheriff desk.

"I'm going out," Emma called as she exited her office to the central area of the station. It startled David from his book, who honestly had forgotten he was even at work and his daughter was only a few feet away this entire time.

"Did we get a call?" David enquired.

"No, I just can't sit here anymore. Let's say I'm going out on patrol," Emma said as she winked at him.

"Ah-huh, on patrol via Granny's before stopping off at the Mayor's office?" David playfully shot back with a raised eyebrow.

"It's important that the sheriff is seen. Besides, we must ensure the higher-ups are safe and protected." With that Emma was gone, leaving David to chuckle and return to his novel. Emma had done well today; it had taken three hours before she cracked and had to visit her wife. Initially, he thought it was a 'new love' action, that they were in the never-want-to-be-apart phase, but it had never dwindled in the past two years. His daughter was happiest when the Mayor was around.

Regina didn't have the same work-life problems Emma had. She enjoyed routine and relished using the power of a pen to have her will done. When the curse was active she used to spend most days not doing anything at all. All she had to do was get the correct paperwork in order to ensure the town was supplied with water, electricity and a steady influx of goods. She was masterful at detangling red tape; she could easily manipulate others to implement her agenda and never got bogged down in the little things. These qualities made her a perfect Mayor and she knew it.

Once the curse broke, she found she had real work to do. People suddenly wanted things like education, transportation, and healthcare. Granted, there had always been a school, but they were taught the same thing every day, and most of the textbooks were all from the early eighties. There wasn't a computer to be found. There were exceptions of course, as Henry aged she had put enough in place for him, but that wouldn't accommodate the entire town now. There had only been one bus that circulated Storybrooke in the morning and evening during the curse. Its sole purpose was to take people to and from their jobs, but now the townsfolk wanted flexibility. The hospital hadn't been much more than a showpiece during those twenty-eight years either. The curse had suppressed illnesses, and people weren't doing things like starting families. All of these services cost money and Regina had excelled at balancing the books, prioritizing, and giving her people what any 21st-century Western Civilization would expect. Even though their lives had been simple in the Enchanted Forest, the public now demanded more, especially after they found the internet.

A knock at the door interrupted Regina from reviewing blood banking protocols and was thrilled it wasn't her assistant, but her beautiful wife instead. She glanced at the clock and was surprised that it was almost noon. Emma had almost set a personal record.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure, Miss Swan?" Regina teased. The use of 'Miss Swan' had evolved from being a vindictive classification to a playful tease.

"Um well…" Emma searched her brain for a reasonable, work-related explanation for her presence. "Yeah I don't have a good excuse, so don't ask me to think of a bad one. I was bored and missed you."

Regina smiled. "Sounds like a good reason to me. What do you have there?" She asked indicating the bag and cups in Emma's hands.

"Lunch. And coffee. Dad loved it so much I couldn't take it away from him, so I'm a little deprived today. Brought you one too, if you don't want it I'll drink it anyway." Emma said as she moved towards the coffee table, unpacking their grilled chicken salads and a side of fries for herself. Regina often commented disapprovingly on Emma's overwhelming draw to junk food, so this was how she compromised.

"Regina, I'm unhappy," Emma unexpectedly announced as they ate. Regina looked at Emma completely terrified, eyes wide, mouth slightly open. Her brown eyes searched Emma's green ones quickly as her mind tried to understand what Emma was saying. Emma quickly realized what Regina was thinking, that she meant with them, their marriage that she had made some sort of mistake.

"At work." Emma quickly tried to correct the course of this conversation. "Not us. I love us. I love you. You're the one thing that makes me happy. You and our family. I mean at work. At work. I'm bored. I don't do anything all day. I know I should be grateful that there aren't any villains trying to send us to different lands, or some force requiring a sacrifice to keep Storybrooke safe… but I don't think I can do this anymore. I need to feel like I'm contributing," Emma blurted out like it had been building inside of her for months.

It took a few seconds for Regina to process these words. She was still living in the previous moments when she thought her wife was leaving her. As she caught up, she wasn't surprised. Emma was so full of energy. These past few months she had expended it mostly by running. Long two-hour runs after work and their weekends were filled with family outings including swimming, hiking, and backyard camping. Pushing paperclips behind a desk was not what her wife was about.

"Okay," Regina softly said as she placed her hand on top of Emma's. She hadn't broken contact with her eyes, they weren't watering, but Regina could see the sadness living behind them. "Want me to summon a wraith to battle?" Regina realized quickly as Emma's eyes widened that making a flippant comment wasn't the right response to this. Emma was being open and honest and asking for help. She quickly changed tactics. "Do you want to step down as Sheriff? Is there something else you have in mind?"

"No," Emma responded flatly and looked down to their now joined hands. "I like law enforcement. I like that my job is to catch bad guys and protect everyone. I'm the Savior; it's where I should be." Emma sounded defeated. "I just wish there was more protecting required. Which is a terrible thing to think and say."

Regina shifted closer, using her other hand to tilt Emma's head up so that they were looking at each other. "I know what you mean. It's not that you want trouble, you just want to make a difference." Emma nodded to Regina's words. "Do you want to move?" Regina asked after a beat of deliberation.

Emma took back her hand and rose from the couch and started pacing. "What? No. No, no, no. I-I don't want to leave Storybrooke. Our life is here. Our son is here, my mom, my dad. You're the Mayor. And magic. I'm supposed to be here so I can save everyone."

"Emma, please calm down. I was just asking. You've spent your whole life in cities; I just wanted to know if you wanted to move back. You don't need to stay here to save anyone anymore; you already broke the curse. You already did all the saving you were destined to do." Emma stopped pacing at these words and turned with rage in her eyes. Regina quickly backtracked, softly stating, "What I mean is, you don't owe anyone in the town anymore, you can save people elsewhere, like Boston or back in New York? If it would make you happy we can all relocate. I don't need this town or the magic that comes with it. Just you and Henry."

"No, I don't want to move. It means a lot that you're offering, but no. I, we belong here. I just need to find something else to do with my time." Emma sighed and slumped back on the couch. This conversation hadn't gone as planned. She simply needed Regina to throw some work her way that wasn't strictly Sheriff business, not suggest they move their lives to embellish some need Emma had to play the superhero.

Regina paused. She so desperately wanted a solution, a quick one to make Emma happy. She also knew she couldn't be dismissive and treat this as if it were a small problem. Emma rarely asked for anything and even more infrequently verbalized her discontent when it related only to her. She noticed Emma had begun re-consuming her food, which was her way of ending the conversation and moving on. The discussion hadn't gone to plan, Regina knew that, and it couldn't end there. They rarely had tension between them and Regina wouldn't allow it to last.

"Emma… it appears you have been feeling this way for a while. Did you think of anything? It doesn't matter if it's ridiculous. I want to help. So please keep talking." The tone of Regina's voice was softer than anything Emma had heard her use before. Her words conveyed Regina understood. This is why she came to her wife first. She could read between her lines better than anyone.

"Not really. Is there, I mean could you, like something here that you do, that, that could become Sheriff work?" Emma was almost pleading.

Regina nodded. "Okay, how about this afternoon you think on this some more, I'll do the same, then tonight we'll go to the Italian by the pier and talk it over with a good bottle of wine and some candles?" Regina had a glint in her eye. Food was a sure way to increase Emma's happiness, even if only briefly. In the right setting, alieved of tension, Emma could be creative. Bogged down by her thoughts wasn't going to help the blonde devise a reasonable solution.

"Sounds wonderful." Emma smiled. She started to gather their empty containers while taking a swig of her coffee. Regina did the same indicating she would, in fact, drink it herself.

As they stood, Regina affirmed, "I'll make the reservation."

"Make it early, I want the date to last all night," Emma said with a devious grin.

"As you wish my princess," Regina said as she softly kissed Emma's lips.

"Oh, how I love you, my queen," Emma quipped as she slipped out of the office.

Regina had to think of something. Her family's happiness was all that mattered to her. Not this town, not this office. Emma and Henry. That was all she cared about.

* * *

Emma returned to the station feeling more buoyant about her career. She felt oddly proud of herself for bringing up her concerns to Regina. Their relationship was increasingly coming more open. Both women had emotional barriers built specifically not to love anyone that could hurt them. They believed that showing any weakness was an absolute sin and that was a powerful notion to overcome. Although complete trust existed in their marriage, Emma was always hesitant to share anything about her life that made her unhappy, whether that be the past, present or the future. It was easier for Regina to talk about her past as Emma knew most of it from their son's storybook. Her family's deceptions and emotional torture had been made known to Emma long before the women were lovers. Regina didn't have that luxury. Emma was closed off, only sharing when directly asked and even then only the bare minimum was divulged. This trait frustrated Regina at first. She felt their relationship was one-sided, that Emma was holding back because she didn't love her enough, or worse, was planning to leave her. Through time, she realized this was her insecurities manifesting themselves and settled for Emma revealing her thoughts and memories when they were relevant. So for Emma to just say something unprompted was a remarkable step forward for the pair.

David had been visited by Snow in Emma's absence, and he had been left with their young son Neal to babysit for the afternoon. David made his eyes big as he garbled unintelligible noises to keep his son's attention as he bounced him on his knee. As an empty coffee container flew past his eyes, into the trash can, he realized his daughter had returned.

"You're going to get into trouble for that if you don't sleep tonight," David assured Emma.

"She knows, I brought her one too. So I'm not in 'trouble'. Besides, it's your fault for drinking mine." Emma smiled at the pair as thought about how Regina had suggested to Emma after a week of restless sleep she should try to cut back on her afternoon caffeine consumption. She had been right, of course, Emma now she slept like a log. Just another way Regina had been able to improve Emma's life.

"So, everything's good at the Mayor's office?" David teased.

"Perfect actually. Mind if I head home a bit early today?" Emma queried.

"Not at all. How come?"

"Regina and I are going out to dinner."

"And that requires you leaving early?"

"Not necessarily. But I want to take a bath, shave my legs and look amazingly hot for my wife so I give her a night to remember." Emma knew she was hitting all of David's buttons. Of her parents he had been the most accepting of the marriage, seemingly forgetting that his daughter's wife was his wife's step-mother. The curse really had messed with this family's lineage. Despite this, even David blushed at his daughter's words. She gave him a wry smile and entered her office, alieving of her father having to come up with a response.

"Your sister is evil. Don't ever forget that little man," David said as he went back to bouncing Neal as the infant giggled happily.

* * *

Regina finished organizing a set of permits on her desk into stacks of those approved and those rejected. She took another gulp from her coffee, screwing up her nose as she realized it was cold. A little infusion of magical heat and it was steaming in her hand again. Except she overheated it and dropped the cup suddenly as the warmth startled her. She cursed as she noted she would have to reprint and sign those documents again. She wiped her hand clean and took the cup as she turned to stare out of the window. She pondered Emma's request. What could she assign the blonde that wouldn't be simply more paperwork? It was essentially all she did, sign things. That and talk to people and make them realize they were idiots in petitioning for personalized stress balls instead of a childcare program. Emma had patrol routes which were set by her. She could extend them, make them last an extra hour, covering ground that could only be accessed by foot. Regina sensed though that Emma would see through this. She had to think of something better.

* * *

As Emma left the station at four-thirty, she was so happy and content she was humming to herself. The afternoon had quickly passed as she had gone on a long patrol and spotted some youths vandalizing the side of a warehouse. She was kept busy by threatening them with misdemeanors and then supervised as they attempted to scrub the building clean instead. Sure this wasn't bringing down a Kingpin, or even defeating a fairy tale character trying to recapture their former power, but it was something. It was out of the office. Her dad was still sitting at his desk, feet up and deeper into his book than he had been that morning. Her brother was sleeping soundly in his carrier.

As Emma smiled at them, she said, "Alright I'm off. There isn't anything else you need me to do right?"

David contemplated making something up to throw his daughter into a frenzy, but it wasn't worth it this one time.

"Of course not, just stop talking so I can read my book. It's important work I do here you know," David quipped.

Emma chuckled as she bent down to kiss Neal's forehead. "Tell Mom I said hi." She paused for a second and added, "You guys maybe want to have dinner tomorrow or this weekend? We haven't done the whole gathering of the family to consume food at the same time and place thing for a few weeks."

David nodded. "Sounds great. Let's talk to our wives, and we'll figure out a time and place tonight."

As Emma went to leave she said, walking backward, towards the door "Maybe not tonight, I plan on being very, very busy."

David put his hands up as a sign of defeat, "Alright Ems. Have a fabulous evening. Love you. See you tomorrow."

"Night Dad, Love you too." With that, Emma's mind was firmly focused on what she had to do so that she and Regina could have the perfect evening. She was going to wear a dress that was for certain. It always turned her wife on when she did. Not that Regina didn't mind her skinny jeans and boots, but Emma in a dress and heels did nothing but get her excited. Emma had decided on the red dress, which formed perfectly to her body and ended at her knees. She had only worn it once before when they celebrated Henry's birthday several months ago. Regina had liked the dress so much that the garment barely survived the evening. Emma was debating which exact pair of shoes she should pick and had it narrowed down to two options as she pulled her bright yellow bug into their drive. As she walked up to the front door, she started texting Regina, eager for their night to begin.

**I've been thinking about you all day ;)**

She hadn't even got the key in the door before the reply came.

_As I have you, dear._

**I'm gonna rock your world tonight in that red dress that you like.**

Regina was instantly desperate to get home.

_I think you'll be '"rocking my world" without the dress._

**And what will you be doing for me?**

_Emma stop! I've got to finish up here and I can't do that and this at the same time. Trust me I'll SHOW you later. :)_

**Ha Ha OK. I'm just going to take a bath. You enjoy thinking about my hot naked body while I do that.**

Regina felt herself flush. She looked at her to do list. Could she just leave now and go straight home to her wife? Frustratingly she realized she needed to reprint the coffee stained paperwork before she had accomplished her daily to-do list. Regina liked lists and she obeyed them. She felt good about herself when she crossed something off. She was torn, though, Emma was clearly waiting for her to come home, but if she did this her work day would be complete. She decided that she and the blonde could wait five more minutes as she reprinted the permits. The printing seemed to take forever, and her frustration grew as her thoughts traveled to what she would do to Emma when she got home.

* * *

Emma laughed as she tossed her phone on the bed. She started to draw her bath wondering if she would be enjoying it alone or not. There had been several occasions when Regina would just 'poof' herself in front of Emma after a few sexy, suggestive texts. As the water filled, she put the dress on the back of the wardrobe door and took the shoes she had settled on and placed them below. Emma was satisfied with her choices. She used her phone to take a picture of the outfit and sent it to Regina, knowing that it alone would drive the woman crazy.

The bathroom was filling with the scents of wild berry from the bubble bath she had generously used, and Emma felt the last of the workday tension slip away as she descended into the warm water. She shifted her hips forward as she submerged her entire head, feeling the water flow over her scalp and onto her face. Emma lifted her hands and began to intertwine her fingers with her long blonde locks, fully wetting her entire head of hair. To gain traction, to raise herself back to a sitting position, she used her elbows on the side of the bath. She was halfway up when both her elbows slipped off the rim causing Emma to fall back fast and hard, cracking her skull on the porcelain.

Emma was dazed, everything was foggy. She couldn't process a thought. Her head had slipped beneath the water's surface as her body relaxed. She instantly moved to get her head above water. It wasn't a conscious decision, but an action that was part of her fight or flight response. She tried to lift her head, her arm, her leg, anything. Emma didn't know what was happening; her thoughts were fragmented, random, disjointed. Emma tried, but she couldn't ground her mind, it was beginning to frighten her. All the blonde could process was that she felt light, that there was pain. She didn't even know where the pain was, but something hurt, something didn't feel right. Her feeble attempts to elevate her body ceased as did Emma's efforts to work out what was happening. The pain was getting worse, and for the first time, she had a clear thought that something was wrong.  _Focus on the pain Emma_ , she repeated to herself. When it was bright, the pain was worse, when it was dark it was easier. She decided to keep her eyes closed.

She felt better for mere seconds in the darkness before she felt a crushing pain in her chest. The intensity broke through the fog, and it spurred Emma to a level of consciousness she needed to enable her to move. She raised her head up mere inches and took a much-needed gasp of air. It only increased her suffering further as her lungs burned. The violence of the racking cough that followed only intensified the pain Emma felt emanating from the back of her skull. She tried to stay above the surface, but she didn't have the strength to support herself anymore and fell back to the position she had just been in, submerged. Emma didn't understand that she was drowning, she just knew she needed to get back up. Her limbs reacted incoherently to her new found determination, trashing against the side of the tub with enough force to cause bruising. Her brain though couldn't provide the correct signals to coordinate purposeful movements to form a grip on the tub's edge or push her torso up the tub's slanted back. She repeatedly tried to raise her head again and again, but the muscles in her neck and shoulders were no longer strong enough to support her. She repeatedly fought to just get up, with the distance she rose decreasing each time. With her energy spent her body stilled as she stared at the bathroom ceiling. The world was becoming dark and red as her muscles relaxed. She could do nothing but breathe in the water that surrounded her.

Emma was no longer frightened; if she could process her feelings and articulate her thoughts, she would probably describe her current emotion as calm. She wasn't aware of it, but the images that flashed through her mind were of Regina, the red dress, their son Henry and the family picnic they had to welcome Neal to the world. Emma didn't revisit her childhood or remember the fairy tales that had dominated her recent life. It was the present that she saw. A white wedding dress. A silver baby rattle. A black coffee maker.

As her world became darker, her pain diminished. After a few final moments, Emma didn't feel any pain at all.


	2. A Cool Evening in March

Regina signed the last reprinted permit and straightened up the two stacks of papers on her desk. Feeling satisfied with her day's work she gathered her purse and made her way into the foyer where she approached her assistant, Claire.

"Madam Mayor. All set for this evening?" Claire said professionally.

"Yes, thank you. The permits are organized on my desk for filing if you would take care those please," Regina said as she took her offered jacket.

"Of course. Anything else you need today?"

"No, that will be all. I might be in slightly later tomorrow, so please move my nine-thirty to ten if possible." Regina had a feeling that an extra hour in bed might be desired, even though she intended to still be awake early. Frequently, after they'd spent the night together, she enjoyed simply watching her wife sleep as the sun rose.

"Will do. Have a good night," Claire said as she made her way into the office to gather the papers.

Regina noted the coolness of the March air as she walked towards her black Mercedes. Her mind had wandered firmly to thinking of her devilishly desirable blonde wife waiting for her at home. The urge to see Emma instantly was growing as she put her car in drive and set off towards Mifflin Street. It was short drive back the Mayoral mansion and was well within walking distance if you weren't wearing heels. As she drove down Main Street, Regina pondered if they would make it to their reservation tonight on time, or even at all. She wanted Emma, she needed her now.

Regina entered her foyer to a quiet house. Henry evidently wasn't home yet as his music wasn't drowning out the killing of zombies on his Xbox. She straightened Emma's disregarded boots as she hung her coat in the closet then took to ascend the stairs to the master bedroom. The first thing she saw was the red dress hanging on the wardrobe door, with the shoes neatly placed below. Regina bit her lip and sighed longingly just from imagining her wife wearing the ensemble. She spotted that Emma's day clothes were strewn over the bed. Regina assumed that Emma must be having a long soak or maybe even waiting for her. She took off her shoes and placed them in the closet where they belonged and called to Emma as she put her suit jacket on a hanger.

"So do you want to actually go out to dinner or maybe just send Henry off to your parents and have a night in? It's cold outside. That skimpy dress might not be warm enough," Regina teasingly called as continued to undress, removing her watch and untucking her blouse from her pants. "Emma, darling did you hear me?" Regina listened towards the bathroom for a beat and realized that there were no sounds coming from the room. She didn't hear Emma humming in the bath like she normally did, or the shower head running implying she was rinsing her hair. "Emma?" Regina called once more as she pushed open the bathroom door and inhaled the heavenly scent of wild berry.

* * *

Regina's body froze for an instant as her eyes stared at the scene before her. The first thing that registered was red. Red water that filled the tub and covered the white tiled floor. Her eyes darted back to the contents of the bath until she saw and focused on Emma, her face submerged, her body still.

"EMMA!" Regina screamed as she closed the three strides that separated them, almost slipping and falling herself on the water Emma had forced onto the tiles as she flailed. Regina lowered her hands and grabbed Emma from behind under her shoulders lifting her head and upper torso above the water line. Emma's head lolled forward, and this intensified the terror Regina was feeling inside of her.

"Emma? Emma… EMMA!" Regina pleaded as she shook Emma's shoulders trying to raise consciousness from her wife. She couldn't see her wife's face, but she knew Emma was unresponsive dead weight. Regina's heart rate was already elevated to the point that her own heart beating was all she could hear. Adrenaline was coursing through her veins, and it gave her the strength to heave Emma's body over the rim of the bath. She ungracefully fell backward and onto her right side as she dragged Emma onto the floor with her. They walloped to the ground, but somehow Regina prevented Emma's skull smashing into the ceramic tile. It took Regina a few seconds to process that she was looking at the back of Emma's head. Water had removed most evidence of where Emma's head wound was, but Regina could see enough through her wet blonde hair to start to understand what had happened. Minimally, she at least knew where the blood had seeped out of her wife's body.

Quickly Regina extricated her right arm from under her wife and in the same motion maneuvered Emma onto her back. This was the first moment Regina had properly taken in Emma's face. Her eyes were closed. Her brow line that crinkled as she slept was completely erased, and her mouth was slightly agape. The details that Regina honed in on though were that Emma's lips were blue and there was foam frothing at her mouth. Panic didn't even begin to describe how Regina felt at this moment. She hadn't blessed herself with a medical degree in the curse, but she understood Emma wasn't breathing and hadn't been for a while. Regina tilted Emma's head back and used two fingers to open Emma's mouth and attempt to clear her airway. She breathed deeply into Emma's lungs, trying to displace the water with much-needed oxygen. As water and more foam spilled from Emma's mouth Regina's fingers moved to Emma's neck searching for a pulse. She looked at Emma in horror when she didn't find one.

 _Hospital. Get her to the hospital,_  Regina internally begged. She held Emma's left arm tight and thought of the ER. The world didn't spin like it normally did. Nothing happened. They were still there on the bathroom floor, Emma lying supine with Regina by her side on her knees. Regina tried to calm herself. Magic was tied to emotion, she had to focus, she had to get Emma to people that could help her. As her own breathing began to normalize, Regina took note that her wife was naked. Somewhere, in her brain, she thought it was important to grab a towel and protect Emma, she didn't need everyone to see her wife like this. She rose from her position, seized a bath towel and covered Emma as she sat behind her and lifted her torso onto her own.  _Hospital. Be more specific,_  Regina pleaded with herself as she wrapped her arms around Emma's waist and rested her head on her shoulder.  _The room where they treated Henry. The room where they treated Henry. The room…_  the world started to spin and when she regained focus the pair appeared on the hospital room floor with the startled staff staring at them.

* * *

The staff immediately stopped playing their fake baseball game, which utilized crutches and gauze balls as the pair materialized in front of them. Before Regina could even lock eye contact with the nurse in front of her two pairs of hands were lifting Emma away from her chest and onto the nearest gurney. A doctor Regina didn't know had taken command of Emma's care before she could even get herself up off the floor.

Calmly Dr. Lee coordinated the three nurses in the room to, "Hook her up to the monitor. No palpable pulse, start compressions. Pass me a c-collar, there appears to be some head trauma. Start a line. Page Whale."

Regina stood uncharacteristically stoic at the end of Emma's bed as a nurse dried Emma's chest and attached electrodes as another nurse stood on a stool and started rhythmically pumping at her sternum. She looked towards Emma's face and saw the doctor was stabilizing her neck with a brace. The doctor then swiftly, but delicately, placed a small curved plastic tube into her mouth before covering her nose and mouth with a mask, finally squeezing air into her oxygen-deprived lungs. She didn't notice that she was being spoken to and it took her being physically shaken to realize she was being asked questions.

"Regina? Regina?" A short brown haired nurse urged gently. Once she realized she had broken Regina's stare she repeated, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I… um… I, ah, she – I don't know, I found her, like this - in the, the bath," Regina stuttered out.

"Is she taking any medications?" The nurse pressed. Regina shook her head. "Is she allergic to any anything? Any pre-existing medical conditions?" Again Regina moved her head from side to side as she again looked directly at her wife's face.

The heart monitor began to sound out a beep in time with the compressions that jostled Emma's body.

"Hold compressions for a rhythm check please," Dr. Lee requested. The nurse ceased his movements at the request. "Asystole," The doctor stated as she looked at the straight line indicating there was no electrical activity in Emma's heart. "Confirm on two leads," she commanded. The nurse changed the setting on the monitor, and it showed the same result.

The nurse resumed compressions without instruction, and another announced that the line was started and Emma's pulse-ox was only 69%.

"Let's push one of epi and set me up with a kit, I want to intubate during the next pulse check," she stated as she relinquished control of Emma's assisted breathing to one of the two nurses that had arrived to help with the code. "Okay, we need ABG, CBC, lights, tox screen and UA." She took a penlight from her breast pocket and opened each of Emma's eyelids in turn, flashing her light quickly across them, assessing her pupillary response. "Pupils are unequal and unreactive," she stated to the charge nurse who was documenting everything they were doing to save Emma's life. "Strong carotid pulse with compressions, how is the femoral and radial?" She asked the room. The staff responded that both were present but weak. "Okay, get her on a backboard during the next check too."

The door to the room opened, and Dr. Whale entered with a beat in his step, but he was rendered motionless when he took in the patient, her status, and her wife.

He said in a shocked voice, "How long has she been down?"

"Unwitnessed cardiac arrest. Bathtub drowning. Blow to the back of the head. We're almost three minutes into the code. Presenting and current rhythm is asystole," the charge nurse responded. Whale looked horrified at what he was seeing. He wouldn't go as far as saying he and Emma were friends, but he liked her, he was attracted to her. He often wished he had asked her out before she and Regina became a couple, but settled for admiring her from behind in those tight jeans she always wore.

He turned to Regina, taking in her completely ashen face. She wasn't blinking, just staring at Emma. Whale needed more information.

"Regina?" She didn't respond to his voice at all. "Regina?" He prompted again, this time grabbing her by the arm the same way the nurse had done previously. She moved her head enough for Whale to ascertain she was listening but her eyes never left her wife. "Regina, when did you last talk to Emma?"

"I… um, we texted each other, before I, I did a couple of things then I left work." Regina was more composed now. The reality of what was happening had begun to sink in.

"What time did you leave work?" Whale pressed.

"I left around five," Regina said almost inaudibly. The staff looked at the clock in the room, it was five-fifteen.

"Pulse check in five, four, three, two, one," the charge nurse counted down. The male nurse ceased compressions, standing down from the stool and grabbing the backboard. Dr. Lee had already inserted the laryngoscope down Emma's throat so she could pass the endotracheal tube.

Whale looked at the monitor and proclaimed, "Still in asystole." He moved to the top of the bed, readying his stethoscope to listen for breath sounds after the intubation. He provided cricoid pressure to make sure she didn't aspirate, causing further lung injury. He had imagined seeing Emma naked probably hundreds of times, but never like this. There was nothing sexual about this moment, and he would do anything to remove these images from his memory. The intubation was swift, the cuff was inflated, and Whale listened. "Breath sounds bilaterally," he stated as moved out of the way as they stabilized Emma's head and neck and placed the backboard under her. A different nurse restarted compressions.

The medical team reassessed Emma's pulses and were satisfied with the quality of compressions she was now receiving. Her oxygenation had also improved.

* * *

Henry had had a fantastic day. He finally asked Emily out on a date to the ice rink on Friday night. Henry was acutely aware that he would still need to convince his mothers that he should be allowed to do so, but he figured that would be easier than getting Emily to agree in the first place. His nerves had made him feel nauseous, so he asked her right after homeroom because he couldn't take not knowing anymore. She smiled sweetly at him as her mousey brown hair bounced on her shoulders. Her hazel eyes sparkled as she told Henry that she couldn't wait and quipped, "What took you so long?" She had had a crush on Henry Mills since homecoming.

School had been average, to say the least. Nothing significant happened, and Henry only managed to stay awake during English because the teacher had opted to show them the film of Romeo and Juliet, rather than listen to American's mispronounce old English words for weeks. After school, he went to the comic book store that was located down a secluded alley off Main Street. It had been a place of great comfort to him when he was younger before he had brought Emma to Storybrooke and his reality became a bigger adventure than those told in the comic pages. As life had become calm over the previous months, he had been drawn back here and relished there were so many issues he hadn't read. The Batman universe, however, was different. He kept up with it almost religiously. He identified with the fact the Bruce Wayne had no superhuman powers but was able to still make a difference. Henry was surrounded by so many magically inclined people, it brought him solace that like Batman, he too could still have a part to play. This was never more vital to him than after he broke the pen, ending his ability to be the author. Henry had such power at that moment. He really could have been a legitimate superhero.

This trip to the store was unexpected. Henry could have easily waited until tomorrow to visit the shop and pick up the new Batman Rebirth comic, but he had received a text from the proprietor, Freddie, to say his back issues of Batman: The Dark Knight were finally here and he simply couldn't wait one more day to get them.

As he listened to his iPod and walked back down Main Street towards his house, he considered how to convince his moms to let him borrow a car on Friday night. He only had what his mothers termed a 'provisional-provisional license', but his ma was Sherriff, and his grandfather was the deputy, so he reasoned that the legal ramifications would be minimal. He also knew how to drive. Emma had insisted he learned how to drive stick and they had been taking twice-weekly drives for the last month. He was well acquainted with the bug and could handle it. It helped further his argument, he thought, that the bug was bright yellow and other motorists could see it from a great distance.

He noted both his mothers were home by the time he walked up his driveway, as their cars sat side by side. He had made up his mind he would get them on board about the date during dinner and approach the subject of the vehicle later. The house was quiet when he entered the house, which wasn't unusual. Emma was probably out running, and his mom used this time of day to tend to the garden before it got dark. He looked out the window for her but determined she wasn't there. Thinking nothing more of it, Henry climbed the stairs to his room and threw his bag onto his bed, and sent Emily a quick text. As he did his stomach growled and he concluded he needed to eat soon. He wondered what time dinner would be. It had been later in the evening recently because of Emma's runs, as Regina always waited for her wife no matter what level of starvation Henry proclaimed to be in. As he went down the hall, he noticed their bedroom door was open and popped his head in to ask what his food time frame would be. Henry was surprised to see Emma's dress and shoes displayed the way they were. He quickly scanned his brain for any significant dates in March he had forgotten. It wasn't either of their birthdays or their anniversary. It must be some sort of special occasion: Emma didn't wear dresses on a whim.

"Moms?" Henry called as he stood in their bedroom. "Are you guy's home?" Getting no response, he went to head back downstairs when something on the bathroom floor caught his eye. He wasn't sure what he was seeing but instantly sensed he needed to go into that room. As he got closer, he realized it was a little smudge of red on the white tile. He knocked, not wanting to invade either of his mothers' privacy and when he heard nothing he pushed the door open. Henry was stunned at what he saw. The tub was full of red-tinged water, as were the tiles closest to the tub. Henry started to panic as he moved towards the water to test the temperature. As he put his fingers in he registered that it was lukewarm, which meant whatever had happened had occurred relatively recently.

He fumbled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Emma first. He heard her ringtone instantly and went to back into the bedroom to locate its origin. He hung up and dialed Regina. He didn't hear her phone, and he let it ring until it went to voicemail. He quietly said, "Mom it's Henry, call me back. I'm worried." Henry paused and considered what to do next. There was blood, one of them was hurt. Their cars were in the drive, so they probably 'poofed' to the hospital, he reasoned. His panic then intensified because both of his mothers could heal minor cuts and abrasions, which meant this was serious. At this realization, he ran down the stairs, grabbed the keys to Emma's bug and drove straight to the ER.

* * *

Regina wasn't processing what was happening around her. She just continued staring at Emma's face, or what she could see of it that wasn't obscured by medical supplies. The Mayor couldn't tell you when she took a step forward and gathered the disregarded bath towel that she had wrapped Emma in that now lay by her wife's feet. She held it tightly in her left hand, and her right was now placed on top of Emma's right foot. It jerked and jolted underneath her fingers with every compression that was delivered, constantly reminding Regina that Emma's heart wasn't beating. The medical team had started additional IVs, given her drugs to help reverse her acidosis, and took more blood for analysis. Meanwhile, Regina searched her brain for a magical solution that would resolve this nightmare swiftly. She knew that she had nothing in her arsenal, though; if this were occurring in the Enchanted Forest, they would already be playing harps. She had so much power, yet she was once again watching the love of her life die in front of her.

The foot beneath Regina's fingers stopped moving, and this sudden change brought Regina back to the present moment. She heard Whale state, "Still asystole. Push forty of vasopressin. Resume compressions," before the rhythmic movement began again. She settled back into her thoughts quickly, imagining how she was going to tell Henry, how she was going to live without her wife. Her spiraling mind was interrupted again, but this time, it was by the ringing of her phone. She broke contact with Emma and searched her pocket for the infuriating device. She hadn't even remembered she had put it in there after Emma had teased her with messages. She looked at the screen and saw Henry was calling. Regina wasn't ready to tell him anything; she muted the ringtone and stared at it until it finally went to voicemail. She realized she had another message from Emma, the time stamp was 4:53 PM.

Regina was unaware that some of the staff were staring at her as she stammered, "She, Emma, she texted me. At four fifty-three." Part of her didn't want to open this message, the other part had to know what Emma had said. It was important she knew what her wife had been doing twenty-five minutes ago. She opened the message, and when she saw a picture of the planned outfit, Regina finally started to break. Her trembling was apparent to Whale who moved to take Regina out of the room.

"She… she wasn't in the bath yet. Is that helpful?" Regina looked at Whale with agonized eyes that had tears forming along the bottom rim, causing her vision to lose focus.

Whale started to lead Regina to a nurse to take her out into the corridor as he sympathetically replied, "Yes, that's very helpful. Why don't you go with Kate here and call your family? I'll come talk to you when we know more."

"No," Regina said forcefully. She searched Whale's eyes as she continued, "I want to be here… when you… when you stop. I don't want her to die alone." Whale's face softened further, but it didn't look like he was going to relent, so she added with as much authority as she could muster, "I won't get in the way." Regina didn't wait for a reply, she turned and faced Emma again, bringing the towel up to her chest and hugging it. Staring at her wife, she pleaded internally to something she didn't believe in. It was all Regina could do.

* * *

Henry wasn't abiding by many traffic laws, but he didn't care. His overactive imagination was reeling off every scenario he could think of. He contemplated if one of his mothers had attempted suicide. He knew they both had emotionally traumatizing pasts so it wouldn't be entirely implausible. He then considered if one of them had been attacked, but he didn't know of any trouble that had descended on Storybrooke recently. By the time he arrived at the hospital entrance, he had given up trying to self-assess the situation and would just wait and hear it from his moms. It was probably an insignificant injury, and he was about to get a rollicking for driving the bug. Friday's romance was going to be in jeopardy.

Such whimsical thoughts quickly dissipated though when he entered the ER, and everyone stared at him. News in this town traveled fast, and it was clear to Henry that they all knew why he was there.

He walked up the admitting nurse and politely asked, "Are my moms here?"

"Yes, Henry they are." She got up from her seat and guided him towards the chairs. "Why don't you sit here and I'm sure your mom will be out soon to fill you in."

"You'll tell them I'm here?" He forced as he sat down in an empty row of chairs close to the acute care rooms.

"Yes," She said as she gave him a sad smile.

"Are they okay?" It was the question he had to know the answer to but equally wished he didn't ask.

"I honestly don't know Henry. They magicked into the treatment room, and I haven't received any information on who's being treated or what their condition is. I just know your moms are here in the ER. I'm sure they are fine, though. Both of them are tough." She patted him on the arm as she delivered her parting words. She wasn't entirely honest. She knew it was a cardiac arrest, but she didn't know who or why. The boy didn't need to know that. He could wait a few minutes to hear it from his other parent.

Part of Henry wanted to burst through the doors and find out exactly what was going on. The other part wanted to remain in blissful ignorance a little longer. He started to play a sick and twisted game in his head, deciding which mother he preferred to be hurt. All he felt was profound sadness that he couldn't bear to lose either of them.

* * *

The fourth pulse check resulted in a flurry of commotion around Emma, not only was her heart now fibrillating, but the medical team seemed encouraged by the additional treatment options they now had to get her heart beating again.

"V-fib," Whale exclaimed almost gleefully. "Prepare to shock, 120 joules biphasic please," he stated to the team. By the time he had the defibrillator in his hands, two orange pads were placed on Emma's chest.

"Shocking in three, two, one, clear," Whale instructed as he sent the electricity to Emma's heart. He stared at the monitor and felt his excitement diminish as he saw a squiggly line reappear instead of a normal sinus rhythm. "No conversation. Restart compressions. Push another epi." He stared at Dr. Lee, who nodded back at him, indicating she agreed with his management of Emma's care.

A tech returned and handed Dr. Lee the latest results from Emma's lab work. She was still acidotic. Her potassium was too high. Her arterial oxygenation was too low. Regina stood silently, as promised, as the two doctors prescribed Emma more medication to be pumped into her veins to reverse these conditions. Regina didn't understand what was wrong with Emma, not on a metabolic level, but she began to realize that her survival wasn't going to be as simple as getting her heart beating. That was going to be step one.  _Just let her get that far, I'll help her with the rest,_  Regina implored.

Whale called for another pause in compressions, quicker this time, and exclaimed, "Still in V-fib, let's shock at 150 biphasic please." He took the paddles and waited for the nurse to indicate the defibrillator was ready. "Shocking on three, two, one, clear." Emma's chest and arms constricted once more as the electricity ran through her heart. This time though after her heart stopped it started beating in a normal rhythm. Whale stared at the monitor and stated, "Back in sinus. How is her output?"

Dr. Lee took Emma's carotid pulse and proclaimed it was weak but palpable. She checked Emma's pupils once more, affirming they were still unequal and unreactive. She was hypotensive and bradycardic. Her dopamine was increased, and atropine was administered. They starting calling for consults: cardiology, neurology, pulmonology. A head CT and a chest X-ray was ordered. Drs. Lee and Whale began discussing therapeutic hypothermia.

Regina acknowledged the dramatic increase in activity in the room now Emma's heart was beating on its own. She couldn't follow the medical jargon, and it worried her that the doctors sounded despondent as they spoke amongst themselves. She looked at Emma to see if she was waking, moving, anything. It scared her that Emma was completely still. The joy she felt a moment ago as Emma's monitors showed signs of life was already depleted. She needed to understand what was happening, why this nightmare wasn't over yet. Why her wife wasn't waking, why the doctors didn't seem happier that her heart was finally beating. She searched for Whale who finally made eye contact with Regina and saw that she was shaking. He closed the gap between them.

"We got her heart beating, but there's a lot we need to do for her right now," he said gently. "We're going to take her upstairs in a minute to assess if the blow to the back of her head did any damage, depending on the results she might need surgery." Whale paused, allowing Regina to absorb what he was telling her. Once she nodded, showing some sign she was following, he continued. "We need to stabilize Emma's heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing." Whale saw that Regina was becoming increasingly unresponsive and decided that she had seen and heard enough, he could advise her of the likelihood of brain damage and infection later. "I'll keep you informed on what we're doing for Emma. I promise." Taking a beat he concluded, "Why don't you call your son and when we have her stable and settled in the ICU you can both sit with her?"

Regina knew by his tone this wasn't really a suggestion. She shouldn't be in the room right now. Family members made their work harder. They needed to focus on her wife.

Regina had nodded to Whale before she murmured, "Is she going to be okay?" The fact he had mentioned Emma was going to be admitted to the ICU terrified Regina.

"We honestly don't know yet, her condition is critical." He waited for Regina to ask the questions he didn't want to, nor could answer, but they never came. She was too broken to think clearly, too shocked to even be angry. "We're going to do everything we can," Whale said sincerely with a heavy sigh.

"Can I just tell her I'm here?" Regina's voice had regained strength as she processed that Emma was at least, now alive. She wasn't trembling anymore, she was just frozen in the weight of the unknown.

"Of course," Whale relinquished.

Regina approached the left side of the bed and stood next to Emma's head. She didn't know what to say. She didn't even think Emma could hear her. This moment was for her.

"I'm going to be right outside while they take care of you. I can't wait for you to wake up so I can tell you how big of an idiot you are." She stroked Emma's still damp hair and kissed her forehead. "I love you, my princess."

The nurse guided Regina out of the room into the ER corridor. Henry's head snapped up at the movement and was not prepared for what he saw. His usually perfectly maintained mother looked nothing other than disheveled. She wasn't wearing shoes. Her silk blouse was untucked and hung loosely over her pants. She held a towel close to her chest that was tinged red. She looked straight at Henry, completely lost and without the capacity to form words. Henry rose, took his mother's elbow and guided her to a chair. Regina stared at the towel in her hands. She began to whimper. Henry finally could make out what she was saying:  _Emma, Emma, Emma._

From his mother's demeanor and actions, at that moment, Henry thought his birth mother had died.


	3. The Significance of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Trigger warning for the brief mention of suicide.

David was pleasantly surprised when he walked through the front door to the loft apartment he shared with his wife and infant son. The air smelled of baking, with a strong scent of cinnamon dominating the aroma.

"Time for another bake sale at the school?" He asked Snow as he started to lift Neal out of his carrier.

"Oh no, I just felt like baking," Snow chirped as looked at the state of her kitchen. The sink was full of glass bowls, wooden spoons, and plastic measuring cups. The kitchen surfaces all had traces of flour, butter, and spilled milk. After assessing the scene for a few seconds, Snow clarified her position, "Okay, more like a baking frenzy." She smiled at David and added, "I made Emma's favorite muffins, they're in the red box. Remember to take them to her tomorrow, please."

She crossed the room as she wiped her hands on her apron and took Neal from David's arms.

"How is my handsome prince? Did you have a nice day at the station with Daddy and Emma?" Snow had missed her son and was smiling ear to ear now that both her men were home.

"He had a nice quiet afternoon. He mostly slept. Speaking of our daughter, she wanted us all to have dinner tomorrow or this weekend if that was more convenient?" He informed Snow as he kissed his wife's cheek and then the top of Neal's head.

"Is there something wrong that she needs to talk to us about?" Snow asked as she started to panic.

"Oh no. I think she just misses us all being together," David said with a broad smile.

"Well then yes! We should do that!" Snow responded. "I'll call her now and decide whose house and time."

"Ah best not. Regina and Emma are having a 'special evening'. I was told explicitly not to bother them tonight." David started chuckling thinking of his last interaction with Emma.

"Oh, well, arrange it with her in the morning then. Try and make it at their place, it's bigger, and Regina is a better cook." She surveyed her kitchen and added, "But they won't need to make a desert."

As David took off his work boots and secured his service gun in the drawer, Snow placed a sleepy Neal in his day bassinet and covered him with his own baby blanket.

"You know… we haven't had a 'special night' in a while," Snow teased David.

"Well then maybe I'll take you to bed tonight and play who can mentally scar the other the most with our daughter tomorrow," David playfully threw back.

He moved towards Snow and cupped her face in his hands. He briefly gazed into her eyes before lowering his lips to meet hers.

"Or now, before dinner?" He said as he lifted his petite wife and carried her straight to their room.

* * *

Henry wasn't sure how long he should allow this to continue. They had been shown to a private waiting room and since then his mom hadn't moved or spoken in four minutes. She had stopped saying Emma's name repeatedly and now sat silently staring at the towel in her hands. The emotions in Henry were about to explode. He needed to know why his ma was dead. He was sure he knew the answer. Emma had done this, it was the only way to explain the blood and his mother's behavior. He didn't know why, though. She had seemed happy that morning. Nothing appeared to be different or wrong. They had even talked about next weekend's family adventure. He scanned his brain, he couldn't think of anything recently that would have brought his ma such unhappiness that she would see no other way to deal with the pain. His overwhelming emotion was anger; how could she leave him and his mom? He had to know.

"Mom?" Henry prodded. She didn't respond. "Mom. I need you to talk to me. I need to know what happened to Ma. I need you to tell me how she died."

Regina had been sitting contemplating how to tell Henry. How to say that for a brief time his mother had died. She had appreciated that he had sat next to her rubbing her back, waiting patiently. He had started to talk, but she wasn't processing his words initially until she heard his last sentence. It was powerful enough to break through her thoughts and visions of Emma's lifeless body, and Regina finally turned to look at him.

"Oh, Henry. She's alive… she's just…" Regina didn't honestly know how to finish that sentence as she thought, once again, of how she last saw Emma. She took his hands in hers and decided to just be straight with him. It was the lack of honesty that had almost irreparably damaged their relationship a few years ago. She wasn't about to make the same mistake again. She took a deep breath, composed herself, and looked directly into Henry's eyes. Henry saw the fear in his mother and continued to completely misinterpret the situation.

"Did she do this to herself? The blood in the bath... did she…?" Henry couldn't bring himself to ask the question entirely. "Why did she do this? She seemed so happy." He was beginning to break apart, the guilt and anger eating at him. How did he not see it? How had he not helped her?

"No, Henry. She didn't do this. I think she fell and hit her head," Regina comfortingly reassured. She gave him a minute to compose himself. She felt enormous guilt that her selfish need to internally process the last hour had caused Henry such pain, she could have prevented this.

"How hard did she hit her head? Is she still unconscious? Did she drown?" Henry demanded, he just wanted the facts.

"Yes. When I found her…" Tears began to form in both sets of eyes as she stared at Henry, she just had to tell him. "She wasn't breathing, her heart wasn't beating. I-I brought her here and the doctors were able to help her, but she's not okay. She's… She's… they're looking after her. They're running tests to see if she needs surgery from hitting her head. That's all I know. Honestly. Whale said he would keep me updated and told me to wait," Regina bluntly informed Henry.

Henry now understood his mother's reaction. She had seen her wife technically dead. He could see that his mom was destroyed, she needed time to accept what had happened. He wanted to ask a million questions. He needed a better answer than 'wait' in regards to his mother's prognosis, but it was evident Regina didn't know if she was going to be okay. His natural optimism was waning as he thought about what he knew.  _There was a lot of blood, the bath water was red. The water was lukewarm, so how long had Ma been there before Mom found her?_ Henry's tears amplified as he contemplated their lives without her and started a mantra of his own.

"She'll be okay. She'll be okay. Ma will be okay."

Hearing her son's pleas Regina put her arms around Henry and placed his head on her shoulder and rubbed his back.

"Yes, she will," Regina defiantly replied.

* * *

The pair sat like that for a further twenty minutes before Regina finally had to take more action. She didn't sit by and wait for others. She was proactive. Her son looked like he was forming a mission plan of his own as well. She folded the bath towel, hiding any evidence of the evening's events, and neatly placed in on her chair she vacated as she stood.

"I'm going to find out what is happening. They should know how extensive her head injury is by now," Regina clearly stated to Henry. He looked back and nodded in agreement.

"I'm going to call Grandma and Grandpa. They should know and be here," Henry countered as they both stood up. "I won't tell them much, just that Ma her head, and is here, and we're waiting."

"Thank you, Henry," Regina said as she grasped him for a quick hug before they went their separate ways. Henry went outside to garner some privacy, while Regina found the admitting nurse.

"I need you to page Whale." When the nurse just glared at her, Regina emphasized, "Now." The nurse increased her hesitance to comply, so Regina made the choice simple for her. "If you don't get him here to talk to me I'm just going to go back in there to see my wife, and later I'll make a phone call to cancel all your future paychecks." The nurse knew Regina wasn't bluffing. She paged Whale. Almost instantaneously the desk phone rang allowing the nurse to break eye contact with Regina and return to her duties.

Regina turned, frustrated that her power over the town had dissipated to the point that people wouldn't even make simple phone calls at her demand. She took a deep breath with a long blink as she decided what her next move should be. When she opened her eyes she saw the waiting room of patients, her townsfolk, staring sadly at her.  _Did everyone know already?_  Then it made sense to her. The only two people that Regina would be standing in the ER for, dressed as she was, was Henry or Emma. Both were universally loved, adored, revered. Their sadness wasn't for her. It was for them.

"Yep, they're panicking. Get ready for hyperactive, controlling, and overprotective Grandma," Henry interrupted with enough beat to try and lighten the mood. He picked out the three qualities Regina hated most about Emma's mother on purpose. He was trying to rally his mom. She had moved past the disbelief stage and was showing her mayoral qualities. The more like herself she became, the more answers they would get. It took three seconds for him to call this objective internally, 'Operation Mom Bitch".

"Wonderful," Regina quipped and smiled at her son.

"I'll let them know," Regina overheard the nurse say. "Mrs. Mills, Henry. Dr. Whale will be down shortly. He asked for you to return to the waiting room and he'll find you there."

"It's Swan-Mills," Regina seethed with such venom that Henry was sure it was the reason the air got colder.

After staring at the nurse for several beats, instilling fear and authority, Regina turned and motioned to her son that they should do as asked. This time, when they entered the small room, neither sat down. Regina paced the six available feet as Henry stood near the door watching her. He couldn't decide what do, she was unmistakably growing more agitated, which was good for interrogating Whale but he didn't want to wait that long even if it was only another five minutes. There was a question that he needed to be answered since his mom had told him what happened. He had to know.

"Mom? How long was Ma's heart not beating?" Henry finally found the courage to ask. Regina froze. She was facing away from him and had no intention of ever looking at her son again. She didn't want to answer this question or see Henry's reaction when she did. She then felt Henry's hand grasp hers.

Persuasively Henry added, "Please be honest with me. I need to understand how serious this is. How much brain damage she might have."

Regina hadn't gotten that far in processing their future. What did she expect the outcome of this would be? Emma would rest here for a few days and come home with a slight headache? Of course Emma was going to have brain damage.  _She was blue. She was blue! It's why she wasn't moving, why the doctors were despondent, why she was being admitted to the ICU,_  Regina screamed internally. Tears finally freely fell from Regina's eyes as she pictured Emma's face as they lay on the bathroom floor. Henry saw the rapid change in emotion and knew once again that this was a question he didn't want to know the answer to.

"Henry I, we, don't know. At least a few minutes before I found her and it took the doctors about ten minutes..." She trailed off and finally opened her eyes and looked directly at her son. "I don't want to lie to you," she added.

Henry nodded while saying, "Thank you, Mom," and pulled Regina in for a much-needed mother-son hug.

* * *

Snow couldn't believe the spontaneity of her husband. Not that she was complaining. They just had never experienced the same sexual appetite that raged between Emma and Regina. It didn't concern Snow, though. She and David were romantic, co-dependent and they didn't need frequent 'take me now' love making to cement their desire for each other. They were more routine than that. Their nights together were often planned in advance since Neal's birth now required organizing a sitter. So this evening was highly uncharacteristic. As Snow relaxed on top of David's chest she wondered why their marriage hadn't been more like this. She mentally made a list of the reasons: Regina's impending curse and general homicidal tendencies, curse-induced memory loss, the fact that Emma had lived with them. It all made sense now. They had become a middle-aged married couple without ever enjoying the honeymoon phase. At least they had had enough desire, and focus, to make their two children.

David was thinking the same things. He liked his life here in Storybrooke. He loved that he saw his daughter at work and then came home to his beautiful wife and son. He didn't need the fairy tale life of being a prince to his queen; he just wanted to be a good husband to Snow. Neal gurgled almost on cue and David mentally added,  _and a good father to my two children_. He breathed in Snow's coconut scented air as he ran his fingers gently over her arm. He started to settle into a peaceful doze. He listened to his wife's breathing deepen, implying she was doing the same.

Their tranquil slumber was interrupted by the ringtone from David's cell phone. They both ignored it, letting it ring off. When it started again, David conceded that he probably should answer it. Snow relinquished her husband so he could locate his jeans which been disregarded unceremoniously earlier. When David saw that Henry was calling him he instantly became concerned. Henry was a texter.

"Henry, what's wrong?" Was the greeting he gave his grandson.

"We're at the hospital. Ma - Emma, hit her head. We're waiting for the test results, but you guys should probably get down here." Henry had practiced what he was going to say so that he sounded calm. He didn't want them rushing to the hospital and getting in a car accident or something. The day was bad enough.

"How serious is it? Is she going to be Okay?" David frantically queried as he began redressing and motioning to Snow that she had to do the same. Their eyes met, and Snow panicked when she saw the concern in David's eyes and heard his words. She mouthed "Emma" at him, and he nodded.

Henry decided it was best to lie to them at this moment. They could find out how dire their daughter's condition was when they got here. Five to ten minutes of misinformation wasn't going to change anything.

"She's probably going to be fine. Just think she'd appreciate it if you were here is all. Don't rush, she's getting a scan, so we won't be able to sit with her for a while yet." Henry was impressed with himself. He almost believed his words.

David visibly relaxed when Henry relayed this to him, and Snow in response to David's body language did the same.

"Okay. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Just call me if we're not in the ER and I'll find you." With that Henry hung up and rushed back inside through the doors.

"Emma hit her head. She's having a scan now. Henry thinks she'll be fine, but will want her parents," David informed Snow. Both were fully dressed again and Snow nodded before she started to cry. David embraced his wife and tried to soothe her. "She'll be okay, Snow. Henry sounded Okay. Let's get Neal ready." He gently nudged his wife out of their bedroom towards their son. David understood Snow didn't handle it well when her children were at risk. She was hot-headed and irrational at times like these. He had to be the calm and collected one in this situation.

"We should get someone to watch him. He needs fed and put to bed soon." David observed as he started dialing. "Hey Belle, are you free right now?" A beat. "Can you come babysit Neal? Emma is at the hospital, and we need to get there." Another pause. "Great see you in two minutes." He looked at his wife during the exchange, and she was already organizing her son's belongings.

David put his boots back on and brought Snow her flats. They were ready to go, the car keys in hand. They stood staring at each other, silently exchanging 'what if's' and 'how's'. Their painful game ended as Belle entered the apartment. She didn't bother knocking.

"Go," was the only word Belle needed to say and the Charmings raced out the door to be with their daughter.

* * *

Henry had managed to get his mother to sit down. She was silent but the tears continued to fall as she hugged the towel she had folded previously. He had never seen her like this, practically unresponsive and lost deep within her own despair, before today. She ordinarily dealt with life's shortcomings with anger, punishing whoever, or whatever was responsible for her unhappiness. To say she had softened since Emma had entered their lives was an understatement. Even before they were a couple, Emma had always seen the good in her and had prompted him to do the same. Regina's reformation had only continued as their love grew. Everything his moms talked about involved them being together. Regina was wondering how all that might now change.

Both were pulled from their respective thoughts when Whale entered the room. He looked at the pair with clear sadness in his eyes that only intensified when he saw how broken the small family already were.

"Regina, Henry," he said as he sat on the coffee table directly in front of them. The pair joined hands as they prepared themselves for what they were about to be told. "The CT scan showed no skull fractures, internal bleeding or swelling. She may have suffered a concussion, but it's nothing that time and rest won't heal." He saw hope creeping into Henry's eyes and he knew he had to break that optimism immediately. "That, I'm afraid is the only good news I have. Emma's condition is grave." He looked at Regina and then indicated Henry, silently asking if she wanted him to hear the details.

"I'm not keeping secrets from Henry. If he wants to hear this, he can." Regina tightened her grip on Henry's hand. She knew it wasn't fair to him, he was just a teenager, but she equally didn't want to hear this alone and hoped he wanted to stay.

Resolutely Henry looked at Whale and said, "Go on." He was terrified at what they were about to be told. He felt his mother's fear emanate from their entwined hands and was determined to be strong for her.

Whale started to proceed and took note that Snow and David weren't there.

"Where are her parents?"

"I called them, they're on their way," Henry replied.

"It would be good if we can discuss Emma's condition extensively when everyone is here, then I can answer all your questions together. I'll also get Dr. Smith to join us. He's the head of neurology and will be leading Emma's care from now on. He's more qualified than I to answer many of the questions you might have."

Regina stared at Whale. For a man who once led a mob to try and kill her he was being so gentle and tender, it was making Regina uneasy.

Henry, who was the far more composed of the two quietly asked, "Can you just tell me now if she is going to live? Is Ma going to be okay?"

Whale took a breath before replying, alternating which pair of brown eyes he looked into.

"Emma's condition is critical. There are many complications that can occur in the next twenty-four hours that we might not be able to reverse. If she makes it through the next few days she has an excellent chance of survival." He gave them a few seconds to absorb this information before continuing. "As for her being okay, I'm afraid that I, nor anyone else, can answer that at this time. Her brain was deprived of oxygen for a significant period of time. We won't know how extensive the damage is until she begins to recover."

Regina was reading through his soft doctor bullshit.

"So basically she will probably die tonight, and if she doesn't she won't be Emma anymore?" Regina immediately turned to Henry regretting her outburst. "I'm so sorry Henry, that wasn't what he said."

Henry just nodded. He had deduced the same.

"When can I see my ma?" Henry was desperate to see his mother, even if it was in the hospital and it was to be last time he saw her alive.

"We're settling her into the ICU right now. Come with me and sit in a room up there. When Snow and David arrive, we will talk some more." He stood and encouraged the pair to follow.

Neither Henry nor Regina had any fight left in them at that moment to argue.

* * *

As the Charmings drove to the hospital, the car was filled with thick silence. David had incessantly assured Snow initially that Emma was going to be fine.

Snow snapped back at him proclaiming, "How could you possibly know that? You don't even know what is wrong. And you like me know it's not a simple injury. Regina would have healed her. And why didn't Regina call us? She wasn't with Emma if she was getting a scan. Do you think maybe she was too upset to call us?"

"Snow I have no idea where Regina is. Maybe she wasn't home and Henry took Emma to the hospital," David replied softly. Snow's words though had quietened him. Regina would be there, Henry would have called her first and she would have materialized instantly by Emma's side. He didn't want to fuel his wife's concerns so they sat in silence. He silently reached over with his free hand and squeezed his wife's. She squeezed back as she continued to stare out of the window.

When they arrived in the ER, the admitting nurse who had encountered both Henry and Regina earlier raised herself from her desk and greeted Snow and David with a curtsy. It occasionally happened to the Charmings when they met people they didn't see frequently. To some, they were still royalty, and they treated them as such. Sometimes it was endearing, but at this moment it couldn't have been more inappropriate.

"Where's our daughter?" Snow asked as she cut to the chase. The admitting nurse was about to stutter out that she was in the ICU, but fortunately, a nurse intercepted and took over the exchange.

"Mr. and Mrs. Nolan, my name is Kate. I was a nurse who worked on Emma. If you come with me, I'll take you to your family." As she led them towards the elevators, David pressed her for information.

"How is she? Can you tell me what happened? How bad the head injury is?" David sounded like he was interrogating a suspect.

As the couple stared at Kate, she contemplated her answer.

"I have not been updated on your daughter's status. I believe she hit her head on the bath. Her doctors will be able to tell you more." By this point they had entered the elevator and Kate pushed the button to the fifth floor. Snow looked the floor plan sign. The fifth floor was the ICU, CCU, and surgery.

"What aren't you telling us? Does Emma need surgery?" Snow forcefully asked as she began to panic.

"I'm sorry Ma'am. I genuinely don't know how Emma is doing." Her answer was soft but definitive. She was making it clear that she wasn't going to divulge anything to the terrified parents.

David found Snow's hand and gripped it tightly as the knot in his stomach grew. They followed Kate towards the ICU, and she stopped by a small waiting room door. David looked at Snow who was already crying again. As the door was opened, Snow and David took in Henry and Regina. They looked shell-shocked. Snow had never seen Regina so unkempt. The four stared at each other, one pair was completely confused and desperate for information, the other was clueless on how to tell them that their daughter was fighting for her life. Once the Charmings had entered the room, Kate left the four alone, closing the door behind her. Snow's eyes had found the towel Regina was still holding. The towel that was unmistakably stained with Emma's blood.

"What happened?" David asked plainly.

Snow broke contact with him and sat in front of Regina. Her apparent desolation scared Snow. She was drawn to comfort her as she had done so many years ago when Daniel had died.

Henry knew Regina wasn't able to speak, so he looked at his grandparents and sadly filled them in on the past hour of their lives.

"She hit her head on the bath and drowned. Mom found her and brought her here. The bang to the head wasn't that bad, she might have a concussion but doesn't need surgery. We're waiting…" His composure was starting to fade, but he continued, "We're waiting for the doctors to tell us how she is, she…"

Henry was becoming incomprehensible and was saved from proceeding by a knock on the door the signaled the entrance of Drs. Smith and Whale.

David and Snow took their cue to sit down, their minds working in overdrive at what they just heard. Why did Henry and Regina look so terrible if it was just a concussion? Surely Emma had recovered from her drowning just like she had in Neverland? She got up right after that and started chasing Lost Boys. Their inner ramblings were short-lived, however.

"I'm Dr. Smith, head of neurology," He said as he sat in front of the four. "I'm going to be taking care of Emma from now on. Dr. Whale wanted to be involved as he's a friend of the family?" Everyone thought 'friend' was overstating their relationship, but all nodded so he proceeded, "If at any time you have questions and can't get hold of me, you can ask him." Smith liked to be direct and honest with relatives. Give them the facts, don't protect them. His style was to always prepare them for the worst. He took a deep breath and continued in this manner.

"When Emma was brought into the ER today she was in full cardiac arrest. She was severely hypoxic, which means her organs weren't getting an adequate oxygen supply for a significant period of time. During this period Emma suffered what we call an anoxic brain injury. This occurs when there is a complete lack of oxygen being supplied to the brain, causing cells to die. Once we got her heart beating Emma remained completely unresponsive; she didn't react to sound, light or painful stimuli. Although not conclusive it does indicate she has suffered profound brain damage."

Regina and Snow both looked at Whale who looked visibly upset and nodded, confirming that this was the case. They both then felt firm squeezes to their hands, Snow's from David and Regina's from Henry. When Regina's eyes met Henry, she saw he was crying and silently asked him if he wanted to be here for this. He squeezed again and she took that as a yes. Snow and David stared at each other, completely shocked at what they were being told. They didn't even know how to process this information. They each turned back to face Smith, indicating they were ready to hear more.

"Our priority right now is to preserve as much brain function as we can. There has been some success in cases just like Emma's where if we induce hypothermia for the next twenty-four hours it can help prevent further brain cell death. So we have begun cooling Emma down. I'm not going to lie to any of you. This will hard to see. Emma will feel cold to the touch, and many relatives find this challenging."

"If it's what she needs we'll deal with it," David interjected.

"Emma will be kept heavily sedated and we've administered a paralytic so she won't shiver," Smith continued as if David hadn't interrupted him. "We've given her medication to prevent seizures, which are common and extremely dangerous following oxygen deprivation. To ensure the treatment is working, we are monitoring Emma's brain waves by placing electrodes on her scalp. We're also inserting a small probe into her skull right now to measure the pressure in her brain. It will help us know if there is any swelling that we need to treat." He paused giving the four of them time to digest this before he got down to discussing the rest of Emma's medical issues.

"I'm afraid that it's not just Emma brain we are concerned with. Her heart is suffering from arrhythmias that we haven't been able to stabilize yet with medications. It will beat fast and a short while later beat slowly. If we can't control them soon, we will insert a pacemaker to stabilize her heart rhythm." He needed to inhale a deep breath himself. He hated this part of his job, telling families their loved ones had a poor prognosis.

"We are using a ventilator to breathe for her and so far she  _is_ oxygenating well. However, the bath water removed the natural surfactant in her lungs. This puts Emma at high risk of developing pneumonia and pulmonary edema." He saw the confusion on their faces and clarified, "Which is the buildup of fluid in the lungs. We're giving her high doses of antibiotics and closely monitoring her lungs to try and prevent and treat these complications early." He looked at the family. They were destroyed and decided they had heard enough bad news for the time being. It was time to wrap this up.

"There are a number of other things that we are doing to stabilize Emma's condition, but those are the things we are most concerned with currently."

"So just her brain, heart and lungs we should be worried about then?" Regina fired back at him. The Evil Queen was raging inside of her.

Whale decided it was time to contribute to the conversation. "We promise we are doing everything we can to help Emma recover."

"When can I see my daughter? I need to see her." It was the only thing Snow had on her mind, and it was something all four of them wanted to ask.

"We need to run a few more tests and continue to cool Emma down. That will take up to three more hours to complete." Four pairs of eyes drilled toward him, clearly stating that this was unacceptable. None of them would wait another three hours to see Emma. So he calmly added, "If we can get her stable and comfortable before then you can sit with her."

He stood to leave saying, "I really should get back to Emma. Dr. Whale will answer any questions you have. I'll be back in a while to update you all and answer anything he can't." With his hand on the handle, he turned back to the family and added, "I'm really sorry this is happening to her. I'm a big admirer of our savior."

Whale sat across from them all and indicated he was ready to answer questions. However, they had all traveled inside of themselves processing what Smith had said. In five minutes their entire world was decimated. Even the nauseatingly optimistic Charmings couldn't find a thread of good news or hope to latch on to. Whale stared sadly at each of them. Snow had placed her head in the nook of David's neck. Tears were falling from both pairs of eyes. Henry mirrored Snow, as he sought comfort from his mother. Regina was just staring straight ahead and Whale noted she was clenching and releasing the towel in her hand that wasn't connected to Henry. He had never seen the heroes so defeated. He lay his own head against the wall and closed his eyes.

The room was silent except for the ticking of the clock, reminding them all how long a few minutes could be.


	4. Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc

"Are you sure she isn't brain dead? It says here that brain death can occur within minutes and you told us she had no responses," Henry threw at Whale when he reentered the room. Henry had been using his phone to Google medical information. Whale despised people doing this. Everyone was a doctor.

"Yes, Henry we're sure. We can see her brain activity on the monitors," Whale replied with a weak smile.

"So, her GCS was three?" Henry asked as he reconsulted his phone. Whale nodded. He turned to Regina, "Mom that's about as bad as it gets. It says here that she's in a deep coma."

"Henry, will you please stop?" Snow snapped. They had all been listening to Henry inform them of how dire drowning and subsequent cardiac arrest was for two hours. Snow couldn't handle it anymore. He was diminishing any sense of hope she had that her daughter was going to get better. Regina and David had allowed this to continue, though. They accepted it was Henry's way of dealing with this; it was his way of helping. It also had the added benefit of educating all of them about what Emma was going through, whether they wanted to hear it or not. Regina was using everything she was learning to continually reevaluate her magical powers, trying to think of one spell that would help her wife. She could give her strength, but it wouldn't have any benefit unless Emma was aware enough to control and accept it.

Whale cleared his throat and drew everyone's attention, "Emma is stable. You can sit with her now. If you want to of course?" He smiled at them all. It's all they had asked about for the past two hours. "Sounds like Henry's new medical degree has educated you of what to expect, but I want you to be prepared." Everyone in the room was standing now, eager just to see Emma no matter what condition she was in. "Emma has a lot of tubes and wires connected to her…"

"Whale we get it," David interrupted. "Trust me; Henry has us thoroughly informed. I even know what an arterial line is. Just take us to see her." Regina was impressed. David was rarely this proactive.

"Okay, follow me." Whale sighed to himself. Families always said that. 'I've seen it on TV' was a typical response. It was never the same when it was someone you loved.

* * *

Whale had been right. It wasn't the same. No amount of Internet-based medical information could adequately prepare any of them to see Emma this way. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder forming a line looking into Emma's ICU room. Regina got over her shock first and copied Whale by rubbing sanitizer on her hands and following him to Emma's left side. Regina didn't think it was possible for Emma to look worse than she did that afternoon, but she was wrong. Emma now looked broken and fragile, instead of horrific and exposed. Regina focused on her closed eyes. If she just looked there, Emma could just be sleeping. She lifted her right hand and softly grazed Emma's temple, careful not to touch the electrodes measuring her brain activity. She noticed how cold her wife felt. The doctors had been right; it didn't feel normal. It was a form of hell. Nevertheless, she bent down and softly placed a kiss on Emma's forehead. She then lowered her lips further, so they were next to Emma's ear.

"We're all right here. We all love you. You won't ever be alone. Just rest darling." She kissed her forehead once again before turning looking for a chair that she planned on being her home until Emma was at least awake. She finally let go of the towel she had been carrying. She had the real thing in front of her now; she no longer needed a substitute.

Snow couldn't separate if she were crying because her daughter was desperately ill or because of the tender interaction she just witnessed between Regina and Emma. Either way, she was drawn into the room and sat in the chair on the opposite side. She grabbed Emma's hand and almost recoiled at how cold it felt. It just wasn't natural. She felt David's hands on her shoulders, which began rhythmically loosening the tension out of her muscles. David's eyes were red, and he just stared at his daughter. He wasn't ready yet to go nearer, let alone touch his baby girl.

Henry physically couldn't take the last five steps to enter his mother's hospital room. He stayed just outside and stared at her. This person lying there wasn't his birth mother. His ma was bright, vibrant, and upbeat. Even when she slept, she tossed and turned, and her hair would spread across her pillow as if it had a life its own. He knew this from the numerous occasions she had fallen asleep on the couch while they had a family movie night. This person didn't move apart from a forced gentle rise and fall of her chest.

Regina had expected Henry to follow her and was now completely torn about where she should be. She was finally next to her wife, but her son was clearly struggling. She looked at Emma for guidance; she would tell her to go to Henry. Regina reluctantly agreed Henry needed her more at that moment and with a light squeeze of Emma's arm turned to join her son.

When Regina stood in front of him, he murmured, "I can't go in there. I'm sorry, I can't. I can't watch this."

"It's okay Henry. Emma will understand, I understand," She said as she began to lightly stroke his upper arm. Henry recoiled from Regina, throwing off her hand, the anger he felt was surfacing.

"She is  _never_  going to understand. She probably will die in a few hours, and if she doesn't, she won't ever wake up. This isn't some wonderful fairy tale we are living in. This is our world. Mine and Ma's. This is real life. There is no happy ending here." By the time he finished, he was screaming at his mother.

The staff moved to intervene; they couldn't have Henry disturbing the peacefulness of the other patients and their families. Regina halted them, though, and it took all her willpower not to scream back at him. He wasn't the only one who was insanely angry at their lives being torn apart.

Sternly she countered Henry's argument, "If you honestly believe that then have the courtesy to say goodbye to her before you leave. She deserves at least that much from you." She turned to take her rightful place next to Emma before adding, "Just remember she never gave up on you. Even when she didn't believe you, she was there, fighting for you."

"Mom," Henry garbled as he started to sob, "Mom, please." Regina softened and grabbed her son in a tight embrace. "I'm just not ready for this. I'm not ready for her to not be here anymore."

"I know. Neither am I." She rubbed his back, and it worked instantly. He just needed to shout at someone, to let out some of his rage. "Go tell her that you love her. You'll regret it if you don't."

As they separated, Regina caught David's attention and motioned for him to join her. She watched as Henry tentatively approached Emma's side. He didn't look at her. Instead, he looked at the monitors, the IVs, the ventilator. It was everything he had read about, and he knew what each piece of equipment was for. He couldn't look at his mother's face and instead looked at his grandmother. Snow was sitting quietly, staring at Emma, stroking the back of her hand with the back of her fingers. She began to hum softly, in time with Emma's assisted breathing. Henry wondered if it was purposeful to make it all seem more manageable, or if it just happened that way. A side effect of Snow's soothing melody was that it calmed Henry further, easing his fears and he finally looked at his ma's face. Like his mother, he simply leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"Thought that maybe it would work for you like it did for me," he said sadly. "Guess it's not a curse, so that makes sense, but still, we all would've appreciated it, because, I don't know about you Ma, but I'm tired. And hungry. And this whole coma thing is really inconvenient." He looked at his grandmother who gave him an encouraging smile, so he continued. "Also I asked a girl out today, and she said yes. I was going to ask both of you tonight, but seeing as you're here, do you have any objections to me taking her out on Friday?" He waited for a beat. "No? Great. Last favor, I swear, can I borrow the bug? It's bright and you, you taught me how to d-drive it." Henry's comical deflection had run its course, and he was back to facing the harsh reality. Tears were flowing as he leaned in to kiss his mother goodbye and they fell onto her cheeks. "I love you so much Ma. Please don't leave me." He wiped away the tear tracks he had left on her cold flesh and turned and walked away.

* * *

As Henry left the room, David entered it and crouched down in front of Snow.

"I'm going to take Henry home and check on Neal. If Belle will stay the night, I'll be right back," David whispered. It was ridiculous, but he didn't want to wake Emma. "Do you need me to bring anything?"

"Just tell our son that I love him and I'll see him soon. We just need to take care of his big sister for a while," Snow said without breaking eye-contact with her silent daughter.

"Okay," David said as he stood and kissed the top of his wife's head. He brought his hand to rest on top of Snow's, enclosing Emma's as well. He squeezed his hand offering comfort to his two women simultaneously. "Come back to us Em," was all the words he had to give.

Snow continued to hum the soft lullaby her mother had sung to her. She had lamented it to Neal every night of his life. This would be the first time she didn't. It was always a bittersweet moment for Snow. Seeing her peaceful son dozing from her soothing tone was idyllic, yet great sorrow followed when she thought of Emma and how she didn't get to do the same for her. Tonight they were trading places. She wasn't helping Emma achieve a restful slumber, but she hoped that it would bring her some comfort to ease any pain she was in.

Her thoughts were momentarily shifted by Regina who had reentered the room and now sat across from her. She finally properly scrutinized the Mayor, who looked worse than Snow had ever seen her. She watched as Regina stroked Emma's temple and hair. She couldn't deny it; there was nothing but love between these two.

"Let's not make this a 'who can do more', or 'who loves her the most' thing," Snow said purposefully. "We both want what's best for her. So let's really try to not piss each other off too much."

Regina nodded, "Trust me, Snow, having to spend so much time in such a small room with you isn't the worse part of this situation. I will be civil. It's what she would want from us." Snow, though, had already frustrated Regina. Although she had gone to Emma's left so she could see more of Emma's face, she got the hand that was full of IVs and had the pulse-ox monitor attached. Regina had picked poorly and only had a few of Emma's fingers to make contact with. Every little thing was going to infuriate her and currently having only Snow for company wasn't going to ease any of the stress.

"Oh, I know. But I want this to be a positive atmosphere. Nothing negative can be said in this room," Snow instructed forcefully.

"On that, we can agree," Regina said as she sighed and tried to get comfortable in her chair. She found Emma's hand and took to rubbing circles in her palm. She did this when Henry was around. He had a strict 'no gross stuff' policy in his presence, and that included hand holding. So this was how Regina would get contact without violating Henry's request. It was their thing. She broke a sad smile when she thought of it. The left side of Emma was indeed the right one for her.

Snow had settled back into humming her lullaby; Regina sat quietly listening and subconsciously rubbed circles in time with the melody.

* * *

When David returned, he saw the two women sitting silently without acknowledging each other and feared they had already fought. He had to break the silence; it was already too much tension for him.

"Any change?" It was the first inoffensive question that came to mind.

"No, the nurse was just here, she said everything looked good," Snow replied as she indicated he should sit on the third chair that had appeared in his absence, next to her.

"Henry is in the waiting room. He didn't want to be at our apartment either," David informed the women. "I brought food. I know you're both going to say you aren't hungry, but I don't care. You're both going to eat, even if it's just this energy bar," he firmly said as he deposited a bag of items on the chair. "We're not even supposed to have this stuff in here; I may have used our former royal status to sneak it in," he said as he winked at his wife. "I brought coffee too. Regina here," David added, passing one to her over Emma's bed, "Nothing like what you made this morning, but it's better than nothing." Regina didn't move, she wasn't listening to David and was barely aware he had even returned. "Regina?" He prodded once more. She finally broke contact with Emma and looked at him. "Coffee?"

When Regina saw the coffee cup, she stared at it for a few seconds before her eyes went wide and she started to breathe rapidly, her heart rate rising with each increasingly labored breath.

"The coffee. It was the coffee. I'm so sorry Emma, I'm…" Regina was now hyperventilating to the point she couldn't form words anymore. She just stared at Emma and began to tremble. The Charmings stared at each other in complete confusion. How could coffee have anything to do with this situation? David set the cup down and moved to in front of Regina.

"Shhh, it's okay," he comforted as he tried to calm her breathing by rubbing her back. In any other situation, Regina would have berated David for being this intimate. They didn't have that sort of relationship. She wasn't hearing or even aware of him, though. She was thinking about the coffee, the reprinted permits, and the minutes it had cost them all.

Snow motioned to David to take Regina out of the room to calm down. When she said this was to be a positive environment, she meant it. She didn't want Emma to be aware of anyone else's pain or anguish. David tried to follow his wife's request, but Regina fought back. She couldn't leave now, not when she needed redemption. She needed the Savior to alleviate the crushing guilt she was feeling. She tried to form words, but her breathing rate had increased further. She imagined being home, hearing Emma fall, and rushing to be by her side instantly. How they would now be at home while Regina fed her soup, fluffed her pillows, and watched Friends on Netflix with her while she dozed. It all would have been so different.

David saw Regina's state declining and used his far superior physical strength to remove Regina against her will. He was going to literally carry her, but once upright she relented and leaned heavily into him as he led the way. He sat her down, so her back was against the nurses' station and forced her to breathe into a paper bag, which had been handed to him by a nurse who had instantly recognized Regina's predicament. David couldn't imagine the pain Regina was in right now; Regina felt things so intensely, and it was her emotions that had driven her to be the Evil Queen to start with. He cared about her because his wife and daughter did, but he didn't know Regina well enough to support her through her current crisis. He was aware that Regina wouldn't talk to him, but she needed to confide in someone. Right now Henry was the only one who could help her. Once Regina had visibly calmed, he helped her to her feet and started to guide her away from Emma.

"No, I need to be with her," Regina started to panic again, "I need to tell her how sorry I am."

"Why don't we go and sit with Henry and talk about this? Snow is with Emma; they'll be okay being alone for a few minutes." He found Snow's eyes and indicated they were leaving. She nodded back and returned her focus to Emma, who was oblivious to emotional struggles of everyone that loved her.

* * *

Henry didn't know what to do with himself. He had gone with his grandfather to the loft, but the place reminded him of his ma. The couch where they played video games, the bed that used to be hers, the fruit bowl she had bought for Snow. He couldn't stay there. He couldn't go home to the mansion either, the intensity of recall to happy moments would be overpowering, his sense of loss profound. He couldn't look at a wall there without seeing pictures. Pictures of him and his moms as a family. He thought of one, in particular, that was of him and Emma changing a tire on the bug. Regina had caught the moment discretely. Emma was laughing while she helped him line up the tire. To protect himself from this emotional torture, he had asked to be brought back to the hospital; he would sit in this tiny room and just wait. He didn't think it would be useful, but his moms were here, so he wouldn't technically be alone.

The room was furnished with three two seater couches, two single chairs, and a coffee table with a few outdated magazines. Henry had only been alone for a minute before he started to get bored. He sat on a couch and read the text Emily had sent hours earlier. Tonight she was at a rehearsal for a play that she and her sister were in. Henry wanted to reply but realized that it was close to midnight and she would probably be asleep. His phone was running low on charge from all the web searching, so he tossed it to the side and looked at the magazines. He picked one up that didn't look like it was about fashion and 'how to treat your man' and idly started to browse the pages.  _I'd give anything for a comic book right now,_  he thought. He realized that he had thought that that very afternoon. He began, just like Regina, to blame himself for not being home to help Emma.

Henry didn't have time to have a panic attack of his own, as his spiraling thoughts were broken by the entrance of his mother and grandfather. Regina looked terrible, she was shaking, leaning on David. He got up and grabbed her other arm and helped lead her to the couch they had both sat on earlier.

"What happened, what's wrong?" Henry asked with dread.

"I handed her a coffee, and she started mumbling about how it was the coffee, and somehow that means she needs to apologize to Emma," David explained Henry, although this didn't clarify anything.

"Mom, talk to me. What has coffee got to do with anything?"

Henry always had the power to ground Regina, make her take pause and logically re-evaluate any situation. She didn't want to tell them, though. She didn't want her son hating her again. She didn't want to lose the fragile relationships she had with the Charmings. She feared the truth would cost her everything. Lies, though, would have the same effect.

"I spilled coffee on some permits. I had to reprint them, so I got home five, maybe ten minutes later than I would have otherwise," Regina said quietly. "I, I could've been there and prevented all of this if I hadn't. I could have saved her."

"Mom, I understand. I feel the exact same way. I went to the comic store after school, I was going to go tomorrow anyway, I didn't need to go, I could've been home too. I could've heard Ma fall, or scream for help." Henry motioned to hug Regina, finding great comfort that it wasn't just him who had made a choice that day that had altered Emma's fate. Regina, however, recoiled, believing she did not deserve comfort.

"No Henry, it's not the same. I spilled the coffee because I used magic." Henry and David both looked confused but were keen to hear more. "It was cold, I heated it up, it wasn't paying attention, and it's why it spilled. It was too hot, it, it startled me."

Henry and David looked at each other debating on how to proceed. As Henry fought through his mother's walls and offered physical comfort, David found the words to quell her irrational guilt.

"Regina, you and Emma do things like that with magic all the time. I saw Emma the other day enchant a paper airplane so that hers would glide the furthest and beat me. Blaming yourself for this is foolish. Wasn't it Emma who brought you the coffee in the first place?"

Regina nodded, but David's words didn't comfort her. If she had been using her magic carefully, with caution as she should have been, she and Emma would be curled up in their bed right now. Together.

David realized as he spoke that Emma had gotten them coffees that afternoon because he had drunk all of hers. He stared at both Mother and Son and sighed as he finally sat down.

"I drank her coffee this morning. It's why you had one in the first place. If this is anyone's fault, it's mine." David revealed as he began blaming himself too.

Silence descended on the room as each thought about their actions and how they had contributed to Emma being alone in those late afternoon minutes. Henry was the first to break from the deepening guilt.

"This is ridiculous. How far back are we going to go? Ma was the one who bought that Ethiopian blend that you were raving about this morning because she wanted you to have the best." He directed at Regina. "It was me who found the website she bought it from. It was Grandpa that lent Ma his credit card so she could buy it so it was a surprise." Henry was getting agitated and began to pace. His rant was short-lived, however, as Snow entered the room, looking worse for wear.

"What's wrong?" Regina and David asked in unison.

"They're worried about the fluid buildup in her lungs. They're doing an X-ray and told me to wait outside for a few minutes. That and I need to..." She took in Henry and thought of how to say this delicately, "...Put food in a bottle for my son." David and Regina both noticed she had brought with her the bag David had returned with. She took in how everyone looked agitated and upset, so she pressed, "What is going on in here?"

After David explained how each blamed themselves Snow looked at Regina horrified.

"Where, on the bath, where did she hit her head?"

Regina forced herself to remember the bathroom. It caused her physical pain to remember Emma that way. She thought hard about it and couldn't remember seeing a clear trail of blood. She did, though, know how Emma took her baths. She always scooted down and submerged her head. The way Regina had found her matched that.

"I'm not sure, but based on the position she was in," she looked at Henry, regretting that he seemed to be present for every painful conversation, "She probably hit it off the back, where it slants. Why, what does that matter?"

Snow's expression visibly changed, and she started to cry, "I borrowed her bath pillow. She lent it to me when I was pregnant, so I could relax. I tried it out and meant to buy her a replacement and never did. So if this is anyone's fault, it's mine."

David was just angered by this. It sounded like a conspiracy that had been set in motion against them. They all had reasons to believe they could have prevented this, that they were directly responsible. Seeing his wife in such pain drove him to action, he couldn't allow this to continue.

"Henry's right this is insane. Why just focus on today, why not blame Henry for bringing Emma here, or us for putting her in the wardrobe, or you for casting the curse in the first place?" He gestured to each in turn. "We make decisions every day that can and do affect our lives that seem trivial at the time. We never know what the future holds. None of us did this. It happens. It was an accident, not some villain making us pay for our past mistakes." He looked at his family. No one was really believing him or seeing sense. So he persevered.

"I was probably the last person to talk to Emma. She was happy. She was excited to go home and spend time with you, Regina. Our closed off daughter, who never trusted anyone her whole life wanted to spend time with all of us. Together. We may have all make decisions that led us to this point. But none were made with the intent to hurt Emma. We've made thousands of similar decisions our whole lives, and they've led us to loving her and her loving us back. I feel the same way. I can't turn it off. I blame myself. I was selfish. And when she wakes up, and she  _will_  wake up, she can call me out on that herself," David forcefully expressed as he squeezed Snow's hand to comfort them both.

They all knew he was right. None had made those decisions consciously. None of them could possibly have had the foresight to know that these minor details in life could have such dire and wide-ranging consequences. None, however, actually felt any better. David had made valid and persuasive points, and under normal circumstances, he would have won them over. Unfortunately, you can't bring logic into an emotional situation.

Henry, was the exception, however. He had sat quietly ruminating on his guilt during his grandfather's impassioned speech. He realized that he had made a conscious decision that had changed everything. Not just today but any day like this in the future. He mindfully snapped the pen, he had barely even considered the ramifications of doing so. He could make everyone else feel better by making them hate him and realize that he had all the power they could ever need to make Emma well. He had given it all away in a rash, selfish moment. He wanted to be a hero by removing corruptible power from this land.

"But I did this. I mean, I didn't cause this, not any more than any of us, but I could have fixed this already," Henry gently shared with his family.

"What do you mean, Henry?" Regina asked, utterly confused.

"I broke the pen. If I hadn't I could just have written: 'The Savior recovered from her fall and was completely healed'. All this would be over. She wouldn't, we wouldn't be suffering."

"Oh." Was all Regina could say.

He was right, at the time everyone had thought he had acted irresponsibly. He hadn't taken the time to process a decision of such magnitude. He has the heart of the truest believer. He was surrounded by heroes and light magic. If anyone was going to be able to repel the draw of darkness and corruption, it was Henry Mills. Yet he chose to destroy the gift he had won.

"You didn't know this would happen, Henry," Snow tried to sooth, even though she too was wishing he had made a different decision.

"Snow's right. Yes, it would be so useful to have access to that power tonight, but it's not something we should abuse, and you saved us from the temptation to use it," David added.

"Right, Regina?" Snow prodded.

The Charmings were doing a better job of masking their anger and frustration at the idiocy of their grandson. Regina was grappling with how to sound supportive while hiding her inner rage.

"Yes. Henry. You couldn't have known how useful it would be to alter events, like these," Regina forced out.

The Charmings looked at Regina relaying that that wasn't really comforting enough. Regina loved her son as much as she loved Emma, but she was furious at him. She just wanted Emma well, in her arms, so they could live out their happy ending. She had someone else to blame right now, and it helped her. She looked at Henry, and his anguish caused her more pain then the anger quelled.

"Emma was proud of you for that decision," Regina informed her son.

"Really?" Henry found some forgiveness in these words.

"Yes. We didn't agree, but she said if anyone understands what's best when it comes to happy endings and that book, it's Henry. I trust him." Regina grasped Henry's hand and gave it a squeeze.

Henry nodded. It helped, but like everyone else, he needed to hear it from Emma herself. He had to start believing that he would.

As silence once again descended and each of their minds filled with 'what ifs', a knock preceded the entering of a nurse.

"We're all set with Emma now, you can come back and sit with her." She smiled warmly at them all.

"How is she?" Regina asked.

"The doctor is looking at the films now to see how bad the buildup is. We've adjusted her medications. We'll let you know more when we do. Right now Emma is comfortable."

Regina once again could read through this professional masquerade. Emma was struggling, and there might not be anything they could do. She had to see her wife. These past few minutes apart had felt like years. She stood to follow the nurse and looked at everyone to see if they would join her. Henry was static and gave no indication he was ever leaving the room.

"We'll be in in a few minutes," David said as he took in his broken wife, who was ruminating about all the times she meant to replace something she had taken from Emma. Snow felt they had taken so much from her: her childhood, her education, her right to lead her people. And now she may have taken her life too. She tried to break the cycle as she started to leave to pump breast milk for Neal. Once again she was putting her son before her daughter, and it was killing her.

* * *

Regina stood at the foot of Emma's ICU bed and thought about how she had done the same in the ER. She thought about taking the other side so she could grip her hand tightly, but decided the fight that would occur just wasn't worth it. They typically didn't even need to touch to feel each other. Regina focused on sensing Emma's magic. She hadn't tried all night, fearing that she wouldn't feel it, that Emma would be truly lost to her. Regina concentrated and felt a tingle in her heart.  _There_ , she thought.

"That light inside of me, that's you, my princess," Regina spoke with relief.

She settled back into her seat and began making circles in her palm. She missed Snow's lullaby. The constant swooshing of Emma's ventilator, the clicking of IVs, the periodic inflation of the blood pressure cuff, even the beat of the heart monitor itself were driving the brunette mad. Regina took in all the things that were connected to her wife and tears started to fall from her eyes once more.

All magic comes with a price, and that was never more apparent to Regina than it was at this moment.


	5. Darkest Before the Dawn

As the morning hour reached six, it had been forty-six minutes since anyone had spoken in Emma's hospital room. Although it had only been one night, Regina and the Charmings were growing accustomed to the routine and sounds of the ICU. A nurse would check on Emma at least twice an hour, making sure her IV's were running, recording her vitals, and taking blood periodically. A young doctor, who reported to Smith, would then come by, check Emma's eyes and listen to her lungs. He would talk with the nurse and adjust drug doses while adding and withdrawing others. Emma's monitors would sound an alarm often, which at first only raised panic in her family, especially when no one came instantly to find out why, or then appeared and silenced the alarm and left without doing anything further. It was normal they said.

* * *

Snow and David had spent the first few hours of the night talking to Emma so that she would know she wasn't alone and was safe. When they had been roommates, Emma had told Snow of her fear of hospitals after she had been abandoned there by two separate foster families. When Snow had told David of this, Regina confirmed the story with a dejected subtle nod. It was clear though from the EEG monitor that Emma wasn't aware of sounds and it was making no difference if they talked to her or not. They had finally settled, like Regina, on silent contact, urging their daughter to keep fighting.

Regina was delighted that Snow had finally quietened. Her conversation had been interesting at first, telling Emma about a new lesson plan she had been working on about Lewis and Clarke. American history wasn't something Regina was well versed in. She had been more interested in the Ancient Wonders of this world and how Civilization had moved forward in great leaps, then backward forgetting their previous endeavors. By contrast, American colonization of the continent was rather unexceptional. Compared to Snow's next tale of her afternoon baking it was, however, a riveting blockbuster adventure. Snow agonizingly methodically detailed the weighing of ingredients, oven temperature, and resting time for each batch of muffins. Briefly, she wished that she were in a coma too. She had to remind herself constantly ' _you promised not to kill her mother'_ , to quell her desire to throw a fireball at the woman. Regina wondered how Snow could possibly think this was helpful and became more frustrated as she saw David nodding along. He even asked questions, prompting the elongation of the story. Regina finally sighed heavily, indicating she had heard enough tedium. David understood and took over and talked about his book.

Regina found it hard to be honest with Emma with her parents watching. She felt awkward; it felt as though they were intruding on her private life. She had talked to Emma about the coffee, magic, how everyone blamed themselves when they had been alone. Emma would forgive them all, she knew that. She would even state that there was nothing to forgive. This was just an accident. Emma would probably blame herself for slipping in the first place. Regina couldn't forgive herself, though. She had cried and begged Emma for salvation, implored her to punish her when she woke up. She told Emma how she was furious with Henry for breaking the pen and that if he hadn't been their son, she would have crushed his heart. She wanted revenge, but everyone she could blame both she and Emma loved.

As the night progressed towards dawn Emma's condition deteriorated rapidly. The frequency of staff visits increased as did the sounding of alarms, which mostly indicated her heart wasn't beating sufficiently and her oxygen levels were declining. The medications and medical interventions weren't working. The silence that echoed from her visitors only amplified as their terror grew.

* * *

A cacophony of alarms alerted each of them that Emma's life was in immediate danger. Regina whipped her head to her right to see that Emma's heart rate had dramatically increased and her oxygen saturation had plummeted. Snow and David, at this realization, gripped Emma's hand tightly, willing her to be okay and get through this latest crisis. Before any of them could process a thought, two nurses were in Emma's room and a new alarm joined the symphony. Regina's head spun to the source, the EEG. The steady pulses she had been watching all night had increased in magnitude and frequency. Emma was having a seizure.

Reluctantly all three were told to wait outside as an exhausted Whale and the young doctor entered and began rapidly giving orders to infuse more drugs. They stood looking into Emma's room, watching Emma's life signs for improvement. There wasn't any; she wasn't responding to the medical efforts at all. Regina was staring at the EEG desperately willing the seizure to stop. Henry's newfound encyclopedic knowledge had told her it indicated she wasn't getting enough oxygen, which it meant more brain damage, poorer outcome. The medications needed to work, and they needed to work now. Snow and David watched the heart monitor, they understood that better and had become accustomed to how it should look. As Emma's heart rate increased so did their dread. When Regina saw the erratic lines of the EEG even out she was filled with relief. That only lasted a moment though as she realized the seizure had stopped because Emma's heart had too. They each watched as they lowered the bed, removed the pillows and switched from mechanical to manual ventilation. Emma's hospital gown was opened, and Whale lowered the defibrillator onto her chest as he had done hours before. They stared as a nurse began compressions.

Snow's wail could be heard throughout the department. The sheer agony of the cry left nothing to interpret. Her soul was being crushed. She fell to the floor in complete anguish. David kneeled next to her and held her so tightly it was hard to know where one person began and the other ended. They shared a heart. They felt each other's pain. Regina raised her right hand to the windowed door and pressed her palm firmly upon it. She tried to feel Emma's magic even though they were several feet apart. When she couldn't sense Emma's light, she silently said her last goodbye and turned to find the one person she had left in this life, Henry.

* * *

Snow's scream had been so loud Henry had heard it in his lonely isolated room. He knew what it meant, and that was only confirmed when his mother walked through the door. As their eyes met both pairs started to water, but tears didn't fall as they searched for strength to support the other. Henry rose and embraced his mother tightly.

"Is Ma gone?" Henry whispered.

"I think so. They're trying to bring her back. I j-just couldn't watch again."

Henry understood and guided his mom to the couch and crouched in front of her, trying to make eye contact. He searched his brain for something to say that would be supportive, comforting or helpful. He had spent the long night ruminating on his decision to destroy the pen. He could have reversed all of this with a few simple written words. It would have been that straightforward. He had hoped his ma would get better and it would all work out in the end, as so many things had before. He had truly believed several times that night that would be how this nightmare ended. As he sat with his mother now, he accepted this wasn't the case. He had effectively killed her and his mom.

"I'm sorry about Ma." Was all Henry could offer.

Regina nodded to her son's words and then sat in silence as she waited for Emma's death to be confirmed. Emma was the one person who could comfort her and alleviate her sorrow, yet it was her wife she was grieving for. She played with her wedding ring, thinking about the promises they had made to each other when they had exchanged them. They had only been married a short time, but those promises were still intact. She thought of how the universe wanted her to pay for all the things she did as the Evil Queen. Her redemption would never be enough and Emma had to pay the price. She was destined to feel pain and be alone. Their fleeting happiness was just to make the agony more intense.

Before either could delve deeper into their own depression, Snow was practically carried into the room by David. She could barely support her weight and her sobs were so powerful it felt eerie against the silence of the room.

"Did they…?" Henry started to ask.

"They're still trying, I couldn't let her watch any longer," David replied indicating Snow.

As they sat on a couch, David lowered Snow onto his chest and rubbed circles over her back, hoping it would quieten her. He had never seen her cry like this; he wasn't with her when she lost Emma seconds after she was born. She was inconsolable. Snow's entire body shook as she wailed and every time she inhaled she did so with a whimper. Even if you didn't know why she was crying, you would have felt Snow's pain; it was that tangible.

David didn't know what to say to help his wife. He couldn't claim that everything was going to be alright, that they would find a way to get through this. The truth was no one had anything of comfort to say. They were living in the absence of hope, something only Regina had had any experience with. There is no way to get over such despair, and only in time do you find a way through it.

Henry, who was still crouched down in front of his mother, lowered his head onto their clasped hands. He counted the minutes that past, bringing them closer to the time when it would all be over.

* * *

Snow eventually ran out of energy and settled into a quieter shake. She had cried out everything she had and stared into space as she rested on her husband's lap. Regina stared into space, blinking only to let the tears fall. No one had spoken in a long time. Henry, though, had noticed that the longer it took for someone to talk to them, the greater the chance there was that they had revived Emma, for now at least. He didn't say anything, though; he didn't want to imprint false hope.

When Whale entered the room a few minutes later, Henry's optimism was rewarded.

"She alive," were his opening words. The atmosphere in the room completely changed. "We have taken her to the OR. We want to put her on something called ECMO. It's where we will mechanically take over Emma's heart and lungs, by using a machine to circulate her blood and oxygenate it for her. Our hope is that it will help her heart and lungs begin to heal by resting them while helping provide her brain with enough oxygen to prevent further seizures."

"What aren't you telling us?" Regina threw at Whale as she sensed he was holding something back.

"This is our last-ditch effort. There's about a forty percent chance she will suffer further brain damage from a stroke or hemorrhaging. Therefore, we need your permission to do this," he said as he handed Regina the form.

"Me? I have to decide?"

"You're her wife; you're in charge of her medical decisions. Emma signed the forms before you were even engaged. She trusts you; she always has," Whale informed Regina, who was taken aback that her wife had trusted her long before they had even committed themselves to each other.

Regina looked at Snow, David, and Henry, trying to get a sense of what she should do. They just stared at her knowing that she didn't need their input to make the right decision here.

"If you don't do this… ECMO thing? What are her chances?" Regina wanted to make an informed decision.

"Emma's lungs aren't oxygenating her blood sufficiently any longer. Unless the medications start working, she will suffer further seizures and heart failure. Most likely she will live, maybe a few more hours."

"And if we do this?" Snow asked.

"She has a high chance of not making it out of the O.R. or suffering life-threatening complications. If everything goes well, there is no guarantee that it will help. The damage to her lungs may be irreversible." Whale looked completely drained. He was certainly trying everything he could to keep the Savior with them all.

"Will this cause her more pain? I mean is it worth it? Is Emma's brain still functioning?" Regina didn't want Emma to suffer. She had been through so much, if she was going to die, Regina didn't want to put her through a surgery when she could just rest with her family next to her.

"Emma's fully sedated, she can't feel anything, I promise you. Her brain is still working at the same level as before the seizure," Whale clinically stated.

"It doesn't seem like your giving me much of a choice to make here." Regina looked at the Charmings before she added, "We have to give Emma her best chance. It's what we do." With that, she signed the form Regina Swan-Mills and handed it back to Whale.

"How long will this take?" Henry asked. He was already trying to figure out how to charge his phone so he could read all about what they were going to do to his ma.

"A couple of hours to do the procedure and get her back into the ICU and make sure everything is working properly. I'll let them know to proceed, and then I'll be back to talk to you some more."

"Can-can we see her before you do this?" Regina implored. She wanted to feel Emma's light, to reassure herself that her wife was still with them.

"I'm afraid not. They already began prepping Emma while I got consent. We need to do this now if it's going to help her."

"Just tell her we're here and we will see her soon," Regina begged. "Please," she added.

Whale nodded and left the four alone. Hope had crept back into their spirits. There was something else to be done. Emma was fighting; she hadn't given up when it would have been so easy to do so.

* * *

As the intensity of the sun warmed the room, the anxiety within it increased. They hadn't been given an update in nearly an hour, Emma should be out of surgery by now. David had managed to make them all eat bagels, well at least a bite or two and supplied further caffeine to keep them functioning. Everyone was exhausted and with it came irritability for one another. David found Henry's constant fidgeting exasperating, while he was frustrated by his grandfather's relentless mini speeches of how she was going to be just fine. Regina frustrated Snow with her constant pacing. Regina couldn't just sit, she needed to do something, and pacing helped her think.

"Regina?" Snow prodded. She had been debating for a while how to ask this question. "I'm sure you have already been thinking about this, but isn't there anything magical you can do?" She was sure it was what Regina was thinking about as she incessantly walked back and forth. She knew magic was causing Regina great pain, it was the source of her guilt. Snow hoped if they talked it through together Regina could break through the despair, to think clearly and come up with a creative solution.

"All I can do is give her strength, more energy to fight with." Regina clarified. "As she's in a coma she can't use it. Emma needs to be aware of the magic to control it because she has magic of her own. Without control, my magic will seem like an infection to her, something her body will fight. I'm terrified if I send her mine, it will make her worse. Magic did this – I did this. I don't want to hurt her more." Regina finally stood still and thought of only of Emma, completely lost as to what she could do to help her wife.

Snow nodded as did David. He couldn't believe this is how his little girl was going to die. He had assumed if he had to live to see his daughter's death that it would be in a heroic battle that saved them all. A household fall seemed too innocuous and simple to take down the Savior. She had defeated a dragon but not a bubble bath.

"Maybe it will work," David said. "You two have always been different. Maybe you could help her."

"Or it could kill her," Regina threw back. "Magic can't just fix everything and make everything perfect, it's not a Disney movie where there is singing to animals while a rainbow appears."

Henry knew his mother was wrong, magic could have made everything perfect, but he kept silent. Everyone in the room knew the truth and forcing them to try and ease his guilt wouldn't be constructive. They all descended back into silence, Henry blaming himself, Regina frantically thinking of anything she had long forgotten and the Charming's sat in something this world would describe as reflective prayer. It wasn't being sent up to a deity, it was being sent directly to their daughter.

Regina finally sat back down and held her head in her hands. Her right fingers fell over her left and the coolness of the rings on her finger caught her attention. She looked at her engagement ring, a princess cut diamond, a classic for this land, as it twinkled even in the harsh hospital lighting. She was drawn to it and started twirling it over between her fingers as her mind drifted to thinking about the day she received it.

"That was a fun day," Henry said as he interrupted her memory. "When you got engaged." He said as he gestured towards the ring she was still fiddling with. "I had only just gotten off the phone with Ma when you came into my bedroom to ask me."

"It was hilarious. Emma called us about two minutes after you left the loft." Snow smiled at her husband's words.

"Oh gosh yes. The conversation about the ring was the girliest I've ever had with Emma. I think she sent me 30 or 40 pictures of different rings that afternoon. She wanted to get the right one that would appeal to our Enchanted Forest tastes." Snow's smile finally met her eyes as she thought of it.

"And when you came and asked for permission and we had to keep a straight face…" David added.

"Yes, I'm sure it was hilarious. Your step-mother, in-law, asking for permission to marry your daughter." Regina dryly directed at Snow and then David.

"I want to hear this story. I mean I can't imagine how that would go." Henry prompted as his eyes lit up. He and Emma had asked repeatedly to hear a transcript of that conversation, but neither party would divulge its content.

"The story I want to hear is who actually asked? You were both planning to propose as soon as Emma got back from Boston, so who asked whom? Emma said that it was a memory for just the two of you, but I sense it's you that wanted to keep it private, so go on, spill." Snow actually perked up at just thinking about that day, how happy, excited and anxious Emma was. She remembered Emma going through every phase of complete conviction and then self-doubt on the drive home. She would end one call with 'yes, I'll ask' and start another a few minutes later with 'I can't, she'll say no, I don't want to ruin this'. Snow knew Regina wanted to propose too and it was a highly amusing hearing her daughter be so human when she knew there was nothing to fear. She was going to get her happy ending as soon as she arrived back in Storybrooke.

Regina looked at her family. She liked that she knew things about Emma that no one else did. It was her way of knowing that Emma was hers, and vice versa. It wasn't a vindictive decision towards anyone, it just signified trust between them. Keeping small insignificant secrets meant that they were more open with each other, especially Emma, about the bigger, more personal aspects of their lives. There were so many memories that would always only be hers and Emma's, sharing this one wouldn't diminish the specialness of the relationship she had with her. Snow was right, it was her and not Emma that wanted this tale to be just theirs.

"Fine," Regina started.

"Start at the beginning," Henry instructed. Listening to this story of how his moms were once deliriously happy was better than anything else they could discuss right now. Regina rolled her eyes but started at the beginning just to appease him.

"As you know Emma went to Boston to help with an old case. It was the first time we had really been apart since we started seeing each other. We both missed each other so much after two nights apart that, unbeknownst to each other, we both wanted to make it permanent by getting married. So Emma bought a ring in Boston, and I had my grandmother's to give to her. I Googled proposals so I would know how to ask in an appropriate American way - I wanted it to be what Emma would expect. That's when I discovered I was supposed to ask for your permission here too. I thought that would be harder than getting Emma to agree, to be honest." Regina looked at the Charming's who had begun to chuckle slightly at the memory of former Evil Queen actually having to ask them for something.

"First though I had to ask you if you would be okay with your moms getting married," Regina said as she turned to face Henry. "As Emma had already had the same conversation, your response was giggling." Henry smiled at his mom. "And completely explains why you were so confident she would say yes and agreed to help me plan it," Regina added.

"So that night, Emma got back to the house around six. Henry and I had the backyard set up with lights, music, and flowers. The champagne and a picnic basket of Emma's favorite foods was in the fridge."

"You're forgetting that this was called 'Operation Penguin'," Henry interjected.

"Yes, Operation Penguin." Regina reluctantly clarified. "I planned to finish setting up while she showered after her drive and then after we had eaten under the stars, I'd ask." Regina started to hesitate.

"That's not what happened?" Snow asked eagerly, as she was finally getting the details she always wanted.

"No. Emma had her own 'Operation', didn't she Henry?" Regina winked at her son.

"Well yes. She asked me to help, was I supposed to say, 'sorry Ma got a pile of trig homework, figure it out on your own?' She would've guessed something was up so I played along." Henry unabashedly told the room.

"Yes well, it turned out that Emma had decided we should get engaged where we first kissed, in front of the fire in the back room. She never would tell me what that 'Operation' was called." She remarked as she turned to Henry.

"You really want to know?" Three nods confirmed that they did. "I dunno, I said I'd never tell." He looked into his mother's eyes and couldn't deny her any longer. Besides it was cute. "We called it 'Operation Swan Queen." Henry knew he had made the right decision, as his mom gave her first smile of the night as she was hit with just how much Emma loved her.

David realized instantly that emotions were taking over the conversation, but the storytelling had been a good distraction from realizing they were waiting to hear if Emma was even still alive.

"So what happened?" David asked attempting to steer the conversation.

"Well she came home and showered as I thought she would and when I asked her to join me outside, she was vehemently against it. She was so nervous and on edge, and I was too, it's amazing we didn't actually break up. You know how stubborn we both can be." At this everyone, including Regina chuckled softly.

"I had set up the room for her, with candles, lots of candles. She kept saying fire is significant, there must be flames? She said she didn't need anything else in the room, that you, her and the ring was all she needed." Henry noticed he was talking about his Ma like she was already gone. He shook his head, attempting to dislodge such thoughts from his consciousness.

"So there we were in the kitchen, both dressed unusually well for a night at home and neither of us being able to manipulate the other to going to the area of the house that we needed. Emma then suggested we have the picnic by the fire, which was good enough for me. I wanted to ask below the stars because Emma loves the stars. She told me that no matter what was happening in her life, stars are constant, were always there, and I wanted her to associate me in the same way." Regina paused, realizing she had revealed too much of herself and quickly continued with the next part of the story, hoping no one noticed.

"The fireplace was perfect, though, it's where we first kissed after all, so I magicked the blanket from outside and grabbed the basket and champagne from the fridge. Emma had gone ahead, I assume to make sure the candles were to her specifications and when I entered the room, she was down on one knee, holding the ring. I was shocked and she looked nervous, so I put the picnic down and took the ring out of my pocket and joined her on one knee in front of the fire." Regina looked at the Charming's who were starting to cry like they were at a wedding.

"And?" Henry prodded. "Who asked?"

"Technically, neither of us ever asked, we just both said yes." Henry looked confused so she continued her story. "Emma said she didn't know who should ask, that we both equally wear the pants and the skirt in the relationship, but she wanted us to be together forever. She started the stammer so I agreed, that I wanted forever too. Then we indicated to each other that we wanted to get married and we exchanged rings at the same time. There wasn't much conversation for a while after that." Regina said as she cleared her throat.

"Well if that isn't a story worthy of being in a fairy tale book, I don't know what is." Snow concluded. "Thank you, Regina. For sharing that with us."

"Sounds like Ma asked to me." Henry deduced. "And I'm glad I spent the night at yours," He said as he gestured towards his grandparents. "I sit in that room sometimes you know." The last comment was directed at his mother.

Regina continued to play with the ring in her hand, remembering that night, how they had ravished each other in front of the fire and once recovered ate and drank while they sat naked on the blanket. Emma had fallen asleep first and Regina just stared at her lost in thinking how her life's journey was all about getting to this point, where this blonde was hers. Forever.

All four snapped their heads towards the door when Whale entered and broke the revelry each was in, thinking about how content Emma had been that day. He didn't look happy and Snow feared the worst from reading his expression.

"No, please no," she cried.

"The procedure went well, we're just finishing up getting her settled in the ICU now, and then Dr. Burton, our cardiothoracic surgeon will talk to you," Whale informed them. It was clear he was choosing his words carefully.

"Spit it out Whale." Regina blazed. She was fed up with him not being direct and honest. His attempt at being sensitive and delicate with regards to Emma's prognosis was infuriating.

"There hasn't been any improvement yet, not that should have been. It's too early. I'm just like you, I want Emma to get better." Whale conceded. "I'm sorry, this is really inappropriate for me to say. I'll make sure you're taken to sit with her as soon as she's stable." He added as he began to leave the room.

Whale's comments were completely unprofessional, it surprised everyone, including himself. Emma was, however, his Savior too. She was the one who helped him find his way after alcoholism had landed him a night in her jail cell a few months previously.

"Thank you," David replied for each of them.

* * *

Regina couldn't fathom how her wife looked now. Next to her chair was a large machine that circulated Emma's blood; the red tubes coming from her chest were in stark contrast to her pale complexion and the crisp white cooling blanket. As she analyzed all the equipment and everything attached to her beautiful wife just to keep her alive she noted that Snow and David did the same. She looked so much worse than she did last time they were all together. Just 24 hours ago she had brought her coffee in bed to start her day.

"Can't believe all this is from a slip in the bath," David remarked.

"This is going to work. Just give her time. Emma always comes around." Snow sternly pointed out.

"Ah yes, sorry, I forgot that she's just been stubborn," Regina threw back. She wanted to believe Snow, desperately. But as she looked at Emma, she just couldn't see a future where they were home together again.

"You can feel her, right? Her magic?" Snow bravely asked Regina after a few moments of silence passed.

Regina nodded. "Yes, she's still here. I feel her. But she far weaker than earlier. It's barely a tingle now. I fear she's dying Snow." Both women had tears in their eyes.

"Then there is nothing to lose," David responded. Both women looked at him confused. "Use your magic, I have faith that your magic won't harm Emma. It might not help, but your love for each other will protect her. Magic didn't do this. You didn't do this. But maybe you can help her."

"I can't and me giving Emma a boost equivalent to a cup of coffee and power bar isn't going to help her," Regina argued. She so desperately wanted to help, but magic couldn't just fix this. "I'll never forgive myself, nor will Henry if I hurt her."

"Please, Regina. You'll always wonder if you don't try." Snow pleaded. "Just a little, if you sense it's wrong and harming her, just stop."

Regina wanted to argue, but it was clear the stubborn Charmings had won this argument. It was no longer up for discussion. She was mostly relenting though because she wanted to try. She wanted to believe that she had done absolutely everything. It was a long shot but it was better than just sitting, waiting. Snow motioned for them to swap seats so that Regina could properly hold Emma's hand and create a stronger link.

Once Regina settled into her new position she focused fully on their connection. Emma's magic, her magic, the light that was inside both them. She closed her eyes and was clear and specific in her thoughts, what she wanted her magic to do.  _Remove the fluid, control her heartbeat, and reduce the seizures_. She started slowly sending Emma her magic, constantly verifying the effect on Emma's health by staring at the monitors connected to her wife. Nothing happened and Snow and David signaled they wanted her to continue as they stood anxiously expecting a miracle. Regina slowly increased the amount of magic she was flowing into Emma. She hoped that even if she couldn't see a change for the better in the medical equipment, she would feel it. Emma's magic responding to her own, helping preserve the host. She closed her eyes and fixated on feeling Emma. She knew the Charmings would stop her if she were causing their daughter harm.

The Charmings watched the intensity on Regina's face and hoped it would do something, anything. They saw Regina expel an enormous amount of energy but didn't see any change in Emma's vitals. Regina mimicked their search for improvement when she reopened her eyes. She had believed in the Charming's plan, their optimism was, at times, infectious.

Regina didn't break the connection, though, she kept sending Emma a slow controlled flow of magic. It clearly wasn't hurting Emma, there had been no reaction, so she kept trying. Regina felt her eyelids start to droop. Her head felt heavy and lowered her head next to Emma's hand in response. Before she fell into an exhausted sleep, Regina pleaded to her wife.

"Come on Emma, just fight a little harder for me. If your parent's thing is to find each other, ours is to save each other. Please, just let me save you."


	6. The Harsh Light of Day

"Regina? You need to eat something." Were the words Regina heard as she was gently shaken awake. She didn't remember falling asleep and even momentarily forgot where she was when Snow's face came into focus. Snow was bizarrely holding a carton of orange juice up to her mouth, with the straw tantalizing close to her lips. Regina was grateful for this when she realized she didn't have the energy even to lift her head.  _EMMA!_  She internally screamed as she remembered their current situation. Snow noticed the recognition in Regina's eyes and tried to ease her panic.

"She's fine, nothing has happened in the past few hours, she's stable," Snow assured with her trademark sweet smile. "Drink this; you're exhausted." Snow was concerned, Regina looked completely drained of energy. "Are you still sending her magic?" When Regina nodded as she drank eagerly, Snow realized why Regina looked so terrible. It had been hours since they had watched Regina force her magic into their daughter, collapsing on top of Emma's hand which remained intertwined with her own. The Charmings thought Regina had merely been resting this entire time, not continuously sending magic to their critically ill daughter.

"You should stop now and rest. Emma's doing okay. Honestly. If she starts to get worse, I'll wake you so you can help her. I promise." Regina's eyes started to flutter, and Snow could tell she didn't have any reserves with which to argue. She lifted Regina's arm a little to the left, breaking her contact with Emma. She apprehensively studied Emma's monitors; everything, though, remained the same. Snow bent down and tenderly stroked Regina's hair. She contemplated if it had been Regina who had saved Emma's life once again. Even if it the magic hadn't done anything, she had at least tried with everything she had.

Their one-sided tender moment was interrupted by Whale, who had returned to the hospital after getting a few hours sleep and a much-needed shower. He already knew exactly how Emma was doing as he had called for her vitals only thirty minutes previously, but he wanted to check on her personally. He started to read Emma's chart when Snow broke his concentration.

"Can you check on her?" She said indicating Regina. After he had looked at her with confusion, she clarified, "She's been feeding Emma magic for hours. She can barely open her eyes."

"Ah," he said with a smile while removed his stethoscope from around his shoulders as he moved towards the pair. "Regina? Regina, can you hear me?" When she gave only a minimal verbal response, Whale proceeded. "I'm just going to check you over," he paused thinking how he could convince the Mayor to let him do anything, "So you can help Emma some more." He knew if it were for Emma, Regina would allow him to do whatever he wanted. No one spoke as he listened to Regina's chest. "Lungs sound good. Um, she'll actually kill me if I put this down her front." Snow understood and placed the drum of the stethoscope over Regina's heart so Whale could listen. After a moment he added, "Heart sounds good, little fast, but strong."

He left the room and returned a couple of minutes later with a few medical supplies. Snow watched as he took Regina's blood pressure and then withdrew two vials of blood. He called for a nurse and gave her some instructions.

"Start a chart on the Mayor. Set her up on a dextrose drip and run the blood for a CBC and lights." Snow concern was apparent; a fear Whale was able to read instantly. "She's fine, just exhausted. We're merely giving her some fluids to help her bounce back. She'll be awake and be complaining about the IV in no time. But tell her to keep it in, especially if she sends Emma more magic."

"Should we set her up in a room?" The nurse asked as she started labeling the blood samples.

"Oh gosh no. Can you imagine Regina if we move her away from Emma?" Snow responded instantly.

"I agree," Whale said with a chuckle. "Just set it up in here. Call me with the results." He turned to Snow as the nurse left them alone. " Honestly, she'll be fine. I'm just speeding along the recovery." He turned his attention to Emma and listened to her lungs. "They sound better than I would have expected. Especially after reading her labs from only a few hours ago. You have the Mayor to thank for her still being here."

"You think Regina's magic helped? It's why Emma is doing better?" Snow queried, both excited that there was something else to help Emma and equally concerned that Regina wasn't physically capable of continuing sending Emma magic constantly. Although Emma was stable right now, she still needed a machine to circulate her blood so that she could provide her organs with enough oxygen.  _Would the lack of magic cause a decline?_ Snow thought as she started to panic.

"Oh, that's not what I meant. I was referring to us having all of this equipment and staff. Regina's pretty easy to manipulate; you just have to say that Emma or Henry might need it one day and she will send the hospital a blank check." He noticed Snow's expression change into complete appreciation as she looked at Regina's sleeping form. "Didn't you ever wonder why this place is a little excessive for a town of this size?" Whale smirked as he turned his attention back to Emma.

Snow stood slightly mesmerized by what Whale had said. Everyone knew Snow hadn't fully accepted that Emma and Regina were married. It had nothing to do with the pair both being women; it was that she never fully trusted Regina. She always expected her to hurt Emma in the process of perusing her own goals. Snow finally understood Regina would literally do anything for her child, and that's all a parent can ask for when giving them up to a spouse.

Snow bent down, so she was at Regina's eye-level. It had been so many years since she had seen her sleep. She stroked her temple and kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Thank you." Snow had never felt as much love for Regina as she did then.

* * *

David had managed to convince Henry to come and sit with all of them now that Emma's death wasn't imminent. When the pair returned to the room an hour later, they were both shocked to see Regina requiring medical attention. Snow, seeing their fear, quickly acted to ease their concerns.

"She's fine, just exhausted. She's been giving Emma her magic all day. Whale is just helping her feel better faster. She's just sleeping." Snow directed mostly at Henry.

Henry and David had brought with them a fresh round of contraband coffee and what could only charitably be called pastries from the hospital cafeteria. Even Henry forwent his usual hot cocoa for a caffeine infusion. It had been a long night and day for everyone, and he was almost jealous of Emma because she was the only one who got some rest.  _Well except for Mom now_ , he thought.

"Should I wake her to eat… or...?" Henry asked Snow, indicating Regina.

"No, let her sleep, it will probably be the only rest she gets in the next few days," Snow replied sorrowfully.

Henry nodded and finally took in the hospital room. He wasn't ready to sit next to his ma just yet, being there was enough emotional pressure. He noted that the space was surprisingly quite large, almost bigger than the waiting room he had spent the night in. By the door, there was a sink and cabinets at one side, and the other had a small couch, he assumed for family members to sleep on. Henry then spotted a TV, and he immediately perked up.

"Can I watch TV for a bit? Or will that disturb Ma or Mom?" Henry asked his grandparents. Neither had even realized the couch or TV was even there; they had been so focused on their girl.

"You're fine, they're both sound asleep," David replied. He didn't feel the need to point out that Emma was in a medically induced coma, and couldn't be 'bothered' if Henry had started jumping on her bed, screaming that he was the heir to all the lands.

David handed Snow her coffee and wrapped his free arm around her, as he reclaimed his position in the seat next to her.

"Who's taking care of the station?" Snow asked David.

"I called the Dwarves; they said they would figure everything out. I think they're even making a babysitting rota and they called Claire so Regina wouldn't have to. I'm sure everyone in town knows by now and will pitch in however they can. There hasn't been anything for us to do recently anyway. There shouldn't be much to take care of," David informed Snow warmly. He decided his role would be to organize the logistics so that Snow could just concentrate on Emma.

"This is when I'd go on a petty crime rampage," Henry piped up. When he was given inquisitive stares from his grandparents, he continued, "Just saying if I ever wanted to steal a TV or something, now is when I would do it. After all, most of the Sheriff's Department and the Mayor are incapacitated in the ICU."

Henry's comments gave David pause, but then such crimes could be solved later and weren't worthy enough to draw him away from his family. His mind turned back to what he could do. He had fed and watered them, been there to support his wife and grandson. His son was safe and cared for. He looked at Snow, to say she looked exhausted was an understatement. Her eyes had already sunken into their sockets, outlined by dark, heavy rims. She needed rest. They all did. They were going to start rewarming and waking Emma in a few hours, and there was no circumstance any of them wouldn't be there for that.

"Why don't you go home, shower, eat some real food, and see our son for an hour? When you get back, Henry and I will do the same. Then we can all be slightly more functional for her tonight," David suggested to his wife as he used a slight nod to indicate the comatose blonde.

"I'm not leaving David. What if her heart stops again and I'm not here? Yes, she seems fine right now, but she did earlier too, and it happened so quickly." Snow was direct, and her stubbornness wasn't going to allow her to change her mind, no matter what David said.

Before he could think of a counter-argument, they were disturbed by Drs. Smith and Whale. "Thought you would all be here," Whale said with a beat in his voice, instantly removing the fear that had crept inside everyone with his arrival.

"I just wanted to talk to you all about what to expect going forward as we start to warm Emma up and remove the sedatives," Smith said assertively.

Henry got up and went to his mom's side and shook her awake. Her eyes opened immediately, and she instantly grabbed Emma's hand. She closed her eyes, and everyone knew she was feeling Emma's magic. Snow was able to repress her jealously when Regina announced, "she feels a little stronger than before." Everyone's hearts were lifted; Regina had confirmed what the doctors had told them earlier.

"Dr. Smith wants to talk to us all. Can you sit up Mom?" Henry inquired.

Regina looked at him in confusion, her exhaustion not yet registering. It was then she noticed she had an IV and went to remove it until Henry stopped her.

"Nope. You used too much magic. It stays. Ma's orders," Henry insisted as Regina glared at him. He gripped her hand tightly so there was no room for argument. She relented and took Emma's hand in her free one and faced the doctor, demonstrating she had enough compos mentis to process whatever it was he had to say.

"We are going to start rewarming Emma very slowly in a few hours. It will take eight to ten hours before she will be back to normal body temperature. We will reduce the paralytics before then and then the sedatives. Her metabolism has been slow due to being cold, so the medications will be effective long after we remove them. The frequency of nurse checks is going to increase to ensure Emma isn't warming too quickly." He paused debating how to phrase his next statement.

"Even if everything were perfect in Emma's brain, I wouldn't expect her to start waking until at least late tomorrow morning. Even then, her body has been through so much trauma it may take far longer, and we won't know if she is still comatose until the medications wear off. My point is, don't get disheartened if she's not showing signs of awareness this time tomorrow. This is going to be a long process for everyone." Both doctors saw concern and fear of the unknown in everyone's eyes.

"She will wake up, though, right?" Henry's voice was so full of hope; it was painful for the realists in the room to hear.

"Honestly we don't know. We will know more when we remove the medications. You all need to be prepared for what to expect. If she is still in a natural coma, waking up will be a process. It's not like sleep where one minute she is sleeping, the next awake and talking, unfortunately." Smith's words were brutal, but he managed to keep his tone soothing, diminishing the harshness of the reality he was painting for them.

"What should we expect?" Snow tentatively asked, "How long is it going to be before we have her back?"

"The most common pathway when waking from a deep coma like Emma was in when she was admitted, is first to become aware of light, sound, and pain. Then she will likely open her eyes, but Emma might not show any recognition of her surroundings. Next, she will be able to follow simple commands like 'squeeze my hand', follow a light, that sort of thing. She'll start to move and be confused before she's conscious. Everyone is different and the time it takes people to move through these steps varies dramatically. It can be hours to months, even years. It all depends on the extent of her brain injury and how long she remains in a coma after we removed the medications. I really want to give you all an exact timeline, but I'm afraid I can't." Smith sounded like he was reading from a textbook, reciting a practiced speech.

"So you're telling us that she could remain like this," Regina gestured to Emma's current state, "Or she could wake up in a few days and be relatively fine, and you can't narrow that down for us? What kind of medical degree do even you have?"

"I was a doctor in the Forest. I passed the Maine Boards in Neurology last year," Smith retorted. Regina's glare towards him told him the question had been rhetorical.

"Emma is young and healthy; there's a lot of hope that she will come out of this," Whale offered the group. It was enough for the Charmings and Henry to grasp on to. They believed that with time, Emma would be just fine. Regina couldn't believe. She knew how her happiness always ended. In despair.

"You should start taking turns to be with her, you all need to look after each other too," Smith said as it was clear he was concluding his visit.

"We will decide what's best for her and ourselves," Regina stated as she turned to face her wife, indicating she had heard enough from this man for the time being. He had no real information to offer her.

Smith nodded and left, while Whale hesitantly hung around. "I don't suppose you'd allow me to check your vitals again Madame Mayor?"

"I think emphatically not. Emma's the one who needs your attention." Whale smiled at Snow and nodded. The Mayor was just fine.

"I'll get the nurse to take it out when the bag is empty. Page me if you need anything," Whale said as he indicated the IV as he left the family alone.

"They're right you know," Henry said as he finally stood up. "You all look terrible. We all need showers."

"I'm not leaving," Snow and Regina said in unison.

"Mom look at yourself. You have Ma's blood on your clothes. You don't even have shoes. Let's go home, get cleaned up and come back; then Grandma will do the same. She has to see Neal." David was silently chuckling to himself. He had asked Henry to help him get the pair to take a break. He was so effective at knowing the right words to say to get these women to do anything. Something he had evidently learned from his blonde mother.

As soon as Regina made eye contact with him, Henry knew his words had worked. She ripped out her IV and healed the wound instantly. She leaned in and kissed her wife's forehead. "I'll be back in an hour darling. Don't do anything crazy like dying in that time okay? Just rest." She lowered her voice so only she and Emma would be able to hear. "I love you so much, and I miss you. I really miss you."

She turned to Henry. "Ready to teleport home?"

"No need. I have the bug," Henry said with a menacing grin as he produced the car keys from his pocket. Regina didn't even question it.

"Fine. But if you damage it in any way, you're explaining it to your mother," Regina quipped as they reluctantly left the room.

* * *

Regina and Henry stood in the foyer of their mansion. Henry looked at his mother, unsure of how to proceed. He saw her head turn to the stairs and take a deep breath. He knew that she didn't want to go up there and see everything as it had been the night before.

"I'll go, clean it up," Henry offered.

"No. You don't need to see it."

"I already did." When Regina looked at him inquisitively, he added, "I came home, I saw the bath, it's how I knew to come to the hospital." It was only then Regina realized she hadn't asked Henry how he even knew to be there. She hadn't even listened to the message he had left on her phone.

"Well, you don't need to see it again. I'll take care of it." She offered him a comforting smile and ascended the stairs, her trepidation growing with each step.

Their bedroom door was wide open, just as Henry had left it the day before. Emma's skinny jeans and white tank top were still strewn on the bed; her planned outfit still hung on the wardrobe door, her shoes placed perfectly below. Regina only allowed herself a second to think about what might have been before she picked up Emma's worn clothes and put them in the hamper. She took the dress and returned it to the closet; the shoes were delicately put back in their box and placed with the others on the shelf. Once the bedroom was straightened up, Regina turned to the face the bathroom door and walked towards it channeling all the strength she had.

Regina tried so hard not to see Emma in the bathtub when she entered the room; she wanted only to see the stillness of the blood-stained water that had started to evaporate, leaving a near brown ring marking the history of the water level. Instead, she saw Emma: blue, lifeless, and still. Regina wished that she could forget this memory, she never wanted to think of Emma this way again. She took a deep breath, shook her head to rid herself of those images and regained her composure. She moved towards the bath and flipped the valve to let the water drain. She turned to the sink and gathered the cleaning supplies, filled a bucket with warm water and disinfectant while she placed bright yellow waterproof gloves on her hands.

She bent down, drenched and wrung a cloth and began to scrub the dried blood-water stain. To Regina cleaning was therapeutic. She liked order and cleanliness. She separated her mind from the situation, focusing on returning the tub to its white pristine natural state, instead of thinking about the reality of the task at hand. It was working until she had to pause and get more clean water. As she emptied the water down the sink, Regina couldn't help but come back to the present. It was blood she was pouring out. Emma's blood. She turned to the face the bath. This stupid piece of porcelain was to blame. It had tried to take everything from her, it had hurt Emma, it had to pay, and it couldn't remain in this world. She wasn't even aware that she had removed her gloves and fireballs had now formed in her palms. She also didn't notice that Henry hadn't been able to stay away and had come to see how his mom was coping. He leaned against the door as Regina sent fireball after fireball at the bath, each ricocheting off the surface, doing no more damage than leaving a burnt scorch mark. Regina's frustration grew, and the bath stood stoically. It was laughing at her, resisting her attempts to destroy it.

"Try this," Regina heard Henry say. She stopped channeling her magic as she turned to face him, and stared at what her son was handing her. In his hands was a sledgehammer.

She took it from him, and with all the strength she had she repeatedly yielded the tool, plummeting it into the defenseless object. The bath could not withstand the force as the metal met its surface, cracking as the energy from the hammerhead passed through it. Henry stood and with every break hoped that it would somehow help his mom. That she was using this as a way to release the anger she felt, the ineptitude of not being in control. He could see her getting weaker, between the lack of sleep, the worry, the tears, the over-use of magic, and now the physical exhaustion of demolishing their bath, there wasn't anything left in Regina's tank. Her final swing finally disconnected the plumbing causing water to sprout, soaking the near-demolished bathtub as it began to flood the room. Regina sank to her knees and began to sob as Henry crossed the room and turned off the water from the base. He knelt beside his mother, removing the hammer from her hands and bringing her head to his chest. She clung to him desperately. He had never seen his mother cry like this, completely free and unrestrained; there had never been a moment in his life for her to do so. He rubbed her back trying to comfort his mom as they sat amongst the wreckage, each drenched in water from the pipes and their tears.

* * *

Henry wasn't sure what to do as he sat with his moms in the surreal environment of the ICU room. His mom was just tracing the outline of his ma's tattoo staring silently at her. He wasn't sure what to do.

"She can't hear us can she?" Henry quietly asked his mother.

"I think they've given her too many drugs for her to hear us. But I don't honestly know, so talk to her if you want to." Henry nodded and looked at his ma and started to search his brain for something to say. Regina could feel his hesitation so added, "I think she can sense we're here. Like when Emma works nights, and I go to bed before her, I know when she's not there, and then I sleep better when she gets home. I'm not consciously aware of it, but I know when she's there next to me. So you don't have to do or say anything, she knows."

Henry shuffled in his seat and decided to act like it was any day when Emma picked him up from school. She would always start with 'Hey Kid, how was your day?', so he took that as the starting point.

"So school yesterday was pretty lame, apart from Emily saying yes, but we already talked about that."

"Emily who? Said yes to what?" Regina interrupted.

"Emily, one of the kids from 'old woman who lived in the shoe'. She was called Sarah in the Enchanted Forest. I really don't get why you changed people's names when they had regular names to start with. It's just confusing. Anyway, she's in my class in school. I asked her to go out with me on Friday. Ma said I could go." He said indicating the unconscious blonde.

"Uh-huh, and when did she give you her permission exactly?" Regina playfully threw back.

"Well, it wasn't so much as permission, as she had no objections." His mother's glare told him she wasn't buying that Emma had actually given informed consent. "It may have been yesterday evening," Henry added sheepishly.

"I have no objections to you going on a date Henry. Just be home by ten and keep your cell phone charged and on."

"I already told her that I'd have to take a rain check. We'll go out when Ma is better. She was cool about it. She's getting me my homework so that you won't mind me missing school. But I'll have to go for a few hours tomorrow, they're having auditions for the talent show, and I've been working on something for a while." Henry was decidedly talking to both his moms now, and he grew comfortable talking to the silent Emma if Regina was there listening too. It was like a family dinner where Emma was too tired to physically talk after working a double shift when David had to help with Neal right after he was born.

"What's your talent?" Regina asked. For the first time during her time in this room, her attention was more focused on something other than Emma.

"Oh, it's a surprise. But it's something that both you and Ma will enjoy. You can both come to the show and see."

"When's the show?"

"Three weeks." Regina gave Henry a weak smile as she turned to look at Emma. Regina was no doctor, but she didn't think there was any possibility that Emma would be at the school in three weeks to see Henry's surprise. Regina had barely contemplated how things were going to be a day from now, never mind long term. She was still in damage control mode. Just trying to get from now to the next minute.

"We can Skype her in, or take a video that she can watch later," Henry added, interpreting his mother's thought. He had understood what she was thinking, and he knew she was right.

"She'll love that," Regina added sadly.

"I'm going to go get a soda. Do you want anything?" He asked his mom, forcing a break in the sadness that was encroaching upon them both.

"No, thank you, Henry."

Henry kissed his ma's forehead and said, "back in a bit," to both his mothers, but neither truly heard him.

Regina sat in the relative silence alone with her wife for the first time that day. She wished she could just be like Henry and talk to Emma as if she were listening, so she tried to continue the conversation.

"I had to say yes because you would have. You always relent to him. It makes me seem like the bitch you know." Regina continued to trace Emma's flower tattoo, moving from one petal to the next before circling the center. "I sense you already figured out what his talent is. Kept it a secret so he could surprise me and we could see him smile when he pulled it off." She paused and intently looked at her wife, truth was beginning to pour out of her already in a way that never had when they had both been conscious.

"I think he prefers you. It makes sense; you are his real mother. But it hurts me. It hurts me that I'm jealous of you. I'm ashamed that I feel that way sometimes." Regina couldn't believe she had said these words out loud. It was her issue, she and Archie had talked about it during their weekly sessions that Emma had organized for her. Emma knew she felt that she was at times an inadequate mother, but she had never shared her resentment over the bond Emma and Henry had. If Henry wanted one of them to play a video game, it was Emma he asked, if he needed help with homework, he asked Regina. She knew it was because of her parenting style during the curse, but it didn't ease the pain of Emma being the 'fun parent'.

"Emma I'm sorry, this is neither the time nor the place for me to say these things. You've never done anything wrong. It's my problem. You'd think by now that I'd get that you want to be with me and we're a family, but I'm always waiting for the foundations to fall. Always is too strong a word. Sometimes, sometimes I feel like this."

Regina was shocked at herself. She wasn't a rambler. She also rarely talked about deep negative feelings openly like this. Regina had told her wife on several occasions that she thought Emma would remember who she was and take Henry out of Storybrooke and have a normal life. Emma always laughed at her. She was in Storybrooke for good as long as her family was here, and that included her wife. When either Emma or Archie challenged Regina to come up with an instance where Emma had given her reason to feel this way, she couldn't. Her sessions had helped reduce the frequency and intensity of these thoughts. Her fears never dissipated entirely, though.

"See what you're doing to me?" She quipped towards Emma. "I don't think I'm designed to just sit here and wait for you to get better. I'm not coping with this very well. You've got me crying. Do you see how much I love you?"

Regina composed herself by watching Emma's brainwaves for several minutes. She found it soothing, equal to what she felt when Emma put on the distasteful lava lamp that she bought for their house. It was an awful thing to look at but oddly comforting at the same time.

"By the way, we will need to remodel the bathroom. It may or may not have fallen victim to a sledgehammer." Regina cleared her throat, though there was no blockage. "We can discuss a new bath with jets. We both know how much you love baths and you've been persistent for two years about one with massaging capabilities. And yes, we will get a big tub that will make it easier for us to, um, enjoy baths together."

Regina descended back to her quiet vigil, internally processing the pain of the past twenty-four hours. Henry returned and sat opposite her and had settled into reading his Batman comic to Emma, vividly describing the artwork so she could follow the plot.  _He probably wishes it were me lying here and not you. He loves you more than me,_  Regina silently expressed to Emma.  _Everyone would be better off if we traded places._

The one thing Regina, like most of the inhabitants of Storybrooke, had yet to learn was that just because you perceive it to be true, doesn't make it so.


	7. 21 Days: Part One

**Day One:**

Regina watched Snow lower her head to her daughter's lower arm and begin to cry silently. She had remained in the same position for several hours with tears falling intermittently onto Emma's warm skin. David sat next to her, his thumb stroking Emma's in a soothing rhythm. She turned to look at Henry, who was focused on his phone as he sat spread out on the couch. No one had really spoken since he had returned from school earlier. He had informed his family his audition had gone well, and he had a spot in the show, but still refused to divulge what his performance would be. Regina caressed Emma's palm and fingers as best she could, trying to stimulate Emma's senses into showing some sign she was there.

Each had relented to their body's call and had slept sporadically throughout the night, culminating in a few hours each. The fatigue in the room was palpable, equaled only by the tension that the blonde showed no signs of consciousness. The doctors frequently checked for responses to sound, light, and pain, but Emma had yet to react. Regina tried to take comfort that Emma was physically stable. Her kidneys were what the doctor's described as 'sluggish' during the night, but were functioning better as the day progressed to evening. She would periodically connect with Emma's magic, trying to hear Emma's thoughts, but all she got back was silence. She didn't know if it was because Emma wasn't thinking or because she wasn't actively linking her magic with Regina's so the spell couldn't work.

Dr. Smith's young resident appeared for his hourly neuro check. Regina had finally taken the time to read that his name was Collins. She didn't know who he used to be, nor did she care. What she liked was that he was gentle, attentive and seemed to care about his patient genuinely. They were all used to his routine now. First, he would open each of Emma's eyes, in turn, flashing his penlight across them. Occasionally, Collins would then keep Emma's eyes open and move her head gently from side to side, checking that her brain stem function hadn't deteriorated, confirming his findings with the EEG. His assessment would always end with a painful stimulus. He alternated between doing a sternal rub and pinching between her eyes before moving on to squeezing Emma's nail beds. Every time he did these tests after the sedatives had worn off, the atmosphere was filled with hope only to be dashed again when Emma didn't move.

This time was different, though. Both Snow and David noticed what Regina could not. Emma's right hand moved. Collins noted the movement, removed the blanket off Emma's feet and repeated applying pain to Emma's chest. Her right hand moved again, as did her right foot, her left foot twitched slightly, with her left hand remaining as still as ever. Collins took his time and applied a painful stimulus to each limb in turn. He didn't need to say anything, though, they knew what he had concluded. Emma was showing signs of consciousness she hadn't only an hour before, but her left side's response was nothing compared to the right.

"I'm going to get Dr. Smith. I'll be right back. She's responding to pain; this is a highly encouraging sign," Collins said with a smile as he hastily left the room.

As they waited for the doctors to return to confirm exactly what these test results meant, no one said anything. No one wanted to admit that Emma's body wouldn't function as it had before. Luckily, Smith had only been two doors down the hall, and their wait was short lived. His journey to Emma's bedside was so swift that Collins hadn't even concluded updating him by the time they entered the room together.

"…Negative reflexes in the upper left extremity, flexor reflexes observed on the right," Collins informed Smith.

"Good evening everyone," Smith said with a smile. "I'm just going to check Emma over if you can just wait outside for a few minutes."

"Absolutely not. I'm staying right here, and you're going to tell me what you're doing and what it means." Regina was forceful.

"David, take Henry to get us some drinks please so that the doctors can have some space," Snow requested. Henry hated that they were protecting him, but accepted that his mother needed some privacy while they did whatever they had to do.

"Fine, I'll go, but you'll tell me everything when I get back, right?"

"I promise," Regina said with a nod.

Once the four remained, Smith started his exam by calling Emma's name, trying to get her to open her eyes, then progressed through the same procedure Collins had just performed. Emma responded in the same way. Regina cleared her throat reminding them they had an audience who needed guidance on how to interpret their actions.

"Emma's showing less responsiveness on her left side. I'm going to do a quick test to see how severe the deficit is." Before either Snow or Regina could ask a question, Smith had raised both of Emma's arms up at ninety degrees from the elbow and simultaneously let them both go. It was evident to anyone observing that Emma's left arm fell immediately to bed's surface, while her right hung in midair for a few seconds before it too succumbed to gravity. Smith repeated the test with the same result before he moved to her legs and did the same. The difference in her legs wasn't as extreme but noticeable how fast the left leg fell. Snow's eyes were already watering, and Regina was able to form words before the doctors could.

"She's paralyzed? On her left side?" Regina's voice was somehow even, hiding the emotions she was feeling.

"There is more response in the leg, but the arm? Yes, I'm afraid it does appear that way. But we won't know the full extent of the paralysis until she wakes up more," Smith regretfully stated.

"Is there anything else you need to do for her right now?" Regina calmly asked. When Smith gave her a confused shake of the head, she added, "Then please leave. I'd like to be alone with my wife."

The doctors left, and Regina could hear Smith giving Collins orders that he was frantically writing down now that they were on the other side of the glass door. She moved to Emma's feet and ran her hands over the white compression sock on Emma's left leg before adjusting the position of both Emma's legs, so they were how the nurse had arranged them. Snow just watched Regina mesmerized. She seemed so calm, knowing how to handle this situation, while she remained stoic, completely unprepared for this development. Regina went to reclaim her position by Emma's left side when Snow finally had something to offer.

"You should sit here, where she can feel you." Snow was visibly crying, and you could hear it in her voice.

"Do you need a moment Snow? Perhaps a visit to the restroom is in order?" It was vital now more than ever that they stuck to their 'positive comments only' rule as Emma could hopefully now be influenced by her surroundings.

"It just got so real," Snow admitted. Her optimism that Emma was going to be perfectly fine in time was shattered, there was no denial to hide behind anymore.

"Perhaps you can help the boys get some refreshments?" Regina added. Snow knew Regina was right and turned to look at her daughter, squeezed her hand forcefully, and with a final glance left the married pair alone.

Regina took up Snow's offer and moved to Emma's right side. She had no idea if a more functional limb would help create a stronger magical connection but it was worth moving a few feet to try. Selfishly she also wanted to feel Emma move when she did so, intentionally, for the first time.

"You're really going to hate this," she remarked in Emma's direction as she sat down. "It's going to change a lot of your life." Regina paused and corrected herself. "Our lives I suppose." Regina began to wonder about their future out loud. "You have some function in the leg, so I'm going to be positive and assume with therapy you'll walk. But I don't know how long that will take. We'll need to remodel the house, put our bedroom on the ground floor. Or make everything on one floor, I don't like the idea of parts of the house being off limits to you. Or maybe get one of those chair lifts for the stairs, but I doubt you'll like that. Or we could move entirely, get a fresh start..."

Regina knew she was being over talkative and tried to use her magic to hear her wife. Her attempt, though, was to no avail.

"You were bored at work before this? Well, it's going to be more paperwork than you can handle now," Regina mused out loud. "I'll need to start working out too. I'm not strong enough to carry you, or even help you until you're better. You were always the brawn in this relationship. You've got some weights at home, right? I know you mostly do chin lifts, but you must have something I could use build some strength." She paused thinking about the changes she was able to consider in only a few minutes.

"You really are going to hate this."

* * *

**Day Two:**

Regina sat alone with her wife in the early afternoon. The nurses had just left after repositioning Emma, suctioning her airway and checking her IV's, nasal feeding tube and took note of her vitals. Her hospital room had been full of visitors over the course of the morning, with more doctors and their trainees coming to check on Emma than ever before. Some were legitimate, and some were less so. In every way, Emma was a celebrity in the hospital. Not only was she actually royalty, but her medical condition was something of a rarity in Storybrooke and an excellent opportunity for staff to learn from. Their visits were beginning to irritate Regina, who concluded that Emma was never going to get better if she wasn't left alone for longer than thirty minutes to recuperate. When a pair of doctors from cardiology appeared before lunch, Regina almost told them they had to come back later, but relented when Whale came and assured Regina this was needed. She made it clear to him that these other doctors had to leave her wife alone.

When they asked for privacy, Regina refused, she wasn't leaving Emma alone with anyone she didn't know unless it was absolutely necessary. They explained they were going to use and ultrasound to get a more complete picture of how Emma's heart is functioning and ascertain from a cardiac perspective if they could take her off ECMO soon. Regina nodded and squeezed Emma's hand tightly, hoping the news would be positive. When they removed Emma's gown so they could have better access, Regina inhaled deeply as she saw the bruising on Emma's chest.

"It's from the CPR and insertion of the ECMO catheters. Alas, it's normal. But she's medicated, she won't feel it," Dr. Burton informed Regina.

"But they rub her there all the time to see if she's waking up. It must hurt," Regina countered.

"I promise this will be completely pain-free. The gel is even cold so it might even help the soreness a little," Burton comfortingly said. Regina dejectedly sat in the seat next to Emma and stared at their intertwined hands; she was tormented by what she just saw.

The young brunette doctor was evidently training on the job, and as they looked at the fuzzy images of Emma's heart beating, she was asking questions and stating that it matched the ECG, while the other doctor tested her knowledge base.

"Can you stop talking amongst yourselves and tell me what wrong and what you're going to do about it?" Regina snapped. She detested that for once she didn't know as much about Emma as someone else.

"Emma's heart is fine. Her cardiac function is far better than it was two days ago," Burton said as she continued to analyze Emma's heart.

"Well, she was dead," Regina countered dryly.

"I meant before we put her on ECMO. It's helped tremendously. Her heart is doing well." The doctor used a dry towel and cleaned Emma's chest and returned her gown to its natural position.

"So she can come off the machine?" Regina asked hopefully.

"We will run a few more labs, but from a cardiology perspective, I would say yes. Her lungs may need more time, though. She'll be left alone to rest for a few hours now. I'll be back to check on her later."

Regina nodded in response to Burton's words, silently conveying her appreciation. Grateful was genuinely how she felt. She might not like the staff in this hospital on a personal level, but they were looking after Emma. As she gripped Emma's hand and rested her head on her elbow, nuzzling into her wife's hip, she thought, _how much more are you going to have to go through? All you did was slip in the bath. You don't deserve this. I wish I could take all the pain away._

* * *

When Regina woke from her dozing slumber in the late afternoon she wasn't surprised to find Snow and David had returned from spending time with Neal.

"Where's Henry?" Regina inquired.

"He is 'doing his homework' with Emily in the cafeteria," David answered.

"Did he eat and sleep?"

"He ate, we went to Granny's. Everyone there sends their love and food. There's a salad in the nurse's fridge for you." David indicated with a head tilt.

Regina completely ignored the thought of food as she moved to more pressing concerns. "How has she been while I've been asleep? Did she move, open her eyes, anything?" The question wasn't directed at anyone in particular, if someone had information she wanted to hear it regardless of the source.

"No, we've only been here an hour, but her last neuro check was the same. I was surprised it didn't wake you honestly," Snow piped up. Regina was starting to panic; it had been almost an entire day without Emma showing any signs her consciousness was improving.

Regina had barely adjusted to the lighting in the room before Jane, Emma's physical therapist, appeared. She was a nauseatingly cheerful blonde whose spirit had yet to be diminished in twenty-two years of life. They had all met the day before as she bounced into the room. Snow liked her; she thought she promoted the right sense of positive energy. Regina had no opinion of her personality initially; she was more concerned about the job she was doing. Jane, however, was professional and spoke to Emma like she could hear, telling Emma at all times what she was doing and why. It was repetitive, and she explained to Regina that coma patients can have trouble remembering things they just heard, so she repeats them. "If Emma wants to tell me to shut up I'm fine with that," Jane had then remarked. That was the moment she won Regina over.

"I'll just go check on Henry," David declared as he appreciated Emma should have some privacy. "You'll be about half an hour?" David asked Jane, who nodded in reply.

"Well let's start with legs shall we?" Jane knew of the left side weakness, and so started there trying to bring a little more strength.

"Would it help her if we did what you're doing more often? And if so can you teach us to do it correctly?" Regina asked.

"You could do this every few hours but only for fifteen minutes at a time. It sounds crazy, but we don't want to over-stimulate Emma, she needs periods of rest. It's also good if only one person touches her while you do this and the room remains quiet. It helps the brain focus on the sensations and reduces anxiety."

Jane motioned for the women to stand next to her and watch as she raised Emma's leg and pushed it towards her torso and gently brought it back, all the while describing to Emma exactly what she was doing. She then told Emma that Regina was going to touch her now and do the same thing. Regina honestly felt foolish telling Emma that she was lifting her leg, she mindfully had to stop herself from turning it into sexy banter, as they often used words to describe their actions to increase each other's arousal.

After Jane had finished with Emma's right leg and arm she moved to the left arm and began flexing her joints just as she had with each of her other extremities.

"Perhaps this sounds stupid, but if her arm is paralyzed, what's the point in doing this?" Snow asked, shocking Regina at how little hope she had for Emma's recovery.

"We won't know what Emma can do or feel until she wakes up. It's entirely possible she might not be able to move the arm, but feel it, in which case there will be a lot of pain from her atrophying muscles. This will help reduce that. Isn't that right Emma?" Jane countered, rendering the room into an uneasy silence as she continued to work.

"Okay, I think that's enough, for now, Emma. I'm just going to get the nurses in so they can turn you," She took a second to look at the whiteboard, "Ah slightly to the left for the evening. Be sure and let us know if you're arms, neck or back hurt at all from lying like this okay? Alright, I will see you tomorrow." With a small nod to both women, she left, and Whale entered so swiftly he had to have been waiting.

"She's chatty, but a great date that one," Whale smirked as he took the penlight from his breast pocket.

"Alright, Emma I'm just going to shine a light in your eyes okay?" He said as he slowly opened one eyelid then the next. He repeated his test and started to call Emma's name again. "Emma, can you hear me? Open your eyes if you can." Whale had garnered Regina and Snow's immediate attention; they never asked Emma that after checking her eyes and could only mean one thing - she had reacted somehow. "Emma squeeze my hand if you can hear me," Whale asked the blonde as he took her right hand in his. Emma, however, didn't move or open her eyes. He let her hand go and pinched the area between her eyes. Her right hand and leg moved more than it had done previously and her eyelids twitched.

"Well, she's more responsive to pain, and her pupils constricted a little to the light," Whale declared. "I'll let the nurses in so they can do their jobs.

"Wait, what does this mean?" Regina asked as he began to leave.

"It just means she's getting better." He had a beat in his voice and a small smile on his face, he clearly hadn't expected to see any positive developments. "And any improvement, no matter how small, is good news."

* * *

**Day Three:**

Emma had been on ECMO for only three days, but it was determined by her doctors that she was well enough for them to try and remove it that morning. It filled her family with confidence that she indeed was getting better, it was a sign that her body was recovering. Regina finally let the doctors' work in peace and had returned home with Henry to have a much-needed shower. She was tempted by her bed but knew if she gave in and lay down she would be asleep for hours.

Instead, she walked to her son's room. He had decided he would try and sleep at the house as Neal had woken him in the middle of the night previously. His mom had insisted that he didn't spend the nights at the hospital while Emma was stable and unconscious. He only agreed because he knew his mom would continue to tell him of any change, no matter how small. If there had been one positive outcome of this situation, it was that Henry trusted his mother more than ever. She found him on top of his covers, fully dressed sleeping next to his laptop that was open on a forum of people discussing comas. She closed his laptop and shook his arm gently while calling his name. He sleepily opened his eyes and was confused to see his mom in front of him. She was smiling, so it wasn't bad news.

"They're going to try and take her off the blood machine; they need time and space to do that so how about we get cleaned up and have breakfast together? I've missed you, and I'm sorry for that."

"Is Ma awake?"

"No, she's the same as when you saw her last night, just maybe strong enough not need the machine anymore. It will just depend on whether her lungs have healed enough or if they need more time," Regina softly told Henry.

"Can we make waffles?" Henry said happily.

"I don't see any reason why not."

* * *

Henry looked expectantly at the waffle maker as the timer checked the seconds off. Regina was absently cutting a banana into slices as coffee percolated in the black maker behind her. When they settled at the table both felt awkward and in a synchronized fashion got up and moved back to the breakfast bar, so it didn't feel as obvious that Emma wasn't there.

"So tell me, properly, how did the audition go?" Regina queried.

"Mom I'm not telling you what it is!" Henry stated defiantly.

"And I wasn't asking. I'm just curious if it went well, if you got any feedback, need time to practice or need help making a costume or anything?"

"My talent isn't to be a superhero, I won't be needing a cape. Not that you have time to help me anyway, Ma needs you," Henry dismissively stated as he smothered his waffles in maple syrup.

"Henry, you're just as important to me as your mother. Please never think I'm too busy to be there for you. In all honesty being with Emma is rather boring. All she does is sleep all day." Regina's attempt to lighten the mood had worked, and Henry was instantly more receptive.

"Well, I got a decent amount of applause. I still need to make something. It's quite frustrating actually. Ma has a lot of experience making the one thing I need, but I'll just have to buy it. And I'll have to keep practicing, after all, practice makes perfect."

"Is it okay that I don't have a clue as to what you're doing? I feel like a terrible mother."

"Nope, it's great actually. It means my Operation is going perfectly." Henry considered his words and asked, "When is Ma's operation?"

"I don't think it's an operation as such, but they'll be doing it now. Your grandparents are there. They said they'd let us know of any news." Regina instinctively checked her phone to make sure she hadn't missed a call or text even though it was on vibrate and set to maximum volume.

"Will they take her off the ventilator now?"

"She'll need to heal a bit more before then, there's still a lot of fluid, and they're still concerned about infection. But soon. Soon Emma will be awake and talking." Regina was defiant.

"Can I sit with you at the hospital today? I'm honestly too tired even to pretend to go to school." Henry had gone for a couple of classes the day before, but he found he couldn't concentrate. Partly because he felt school was stupid when his ma was sick as she was and partly because he was too tired to remotely care about differential equations.

"Yes, you may. Your mother will be delighted to hear your voice. You don't have to go to school until Monday, after that we need to get back to normal, or you'll fall too far behind. You might think I'm the one that disciplines you, but Emma takes your education more seriously than I."

"That's because she didn't really get one," Henry concluded sadly.

* * *

When Regina and Henry arrived back at the hospital, feeling reasonably refreshed, Snow and David were already sitting by their daughter's side. Their faces showed dejection, and Regina saw the ECMO machine was still connected and Emma looked as she did before.

"They couldn't remove it yet?"

"They tried, Emma's lungs aren't strong enough yet. They said they'd try again tomorrow." David informed the pair, before adding, "They lowered the anti-seizure meds and took some chest X-rays. Other than that everything is the same."

Regina nodded. It wasn't a step back, it just wasn't a step forward, and if she wasn't ready then they would just wait a little longer.

"Emma is going to be fine. She just needs more time." Regina's tone informed everyone there was no room for argument.

Regina removed a bottle of lotion that she had brought with her. She poured some into her hands before passing the bottle to Snow. Wordlessly Snow started applying it to Emma's right hand and arm. Regina was by Emma's left side, so all she could do was moisturize Emma's palm and some of her wrist that wasn't restricted to her by Emma's arterial line and several other IV's. She missed the feel of Emma, the sensation of holding her. It ached that she was this close to Emma and all she touch was a few patches of skin that she knew Emma probably couldn't feel.

"You were right about the crime spree Henry. People are stealing everything from iPods to ice cream." David directed towards his grandson. "We've made the town a pretty penny in fines."

"You're catching the thieves?" Regina asked.

"Yes. The criminals may be opportunistic, but they aren't very smart. One actually left their cell phone behind when they stole a microwave."

"You need to protect the people David, they need to see you on patrol," Snow forcefully stated. "I'm not saying you can't be here, but put your uniform on and walk down the street a few times, take the cruiser out, just make sure people know you're watching."

"Can I come for a ride-a-long?" Henry asked excitedly.

"Sure we'll go at lunchtime," David said while checking with Regina that it was okay, her approving nod eased his fear of not asking her first.

Regina ignored her family and she turned all her attention to Emma, blocking out the conversation that continued. She rhythmically stroked circles in her wife's palm, silently talking to her wife.  _You're going to get better, there is no other option. I'll wait, for however long you need._

* * *

**Day Four:**

It had been five hours since they removed ECMO in the late morning. Emma's lungs were oxygenating her blood sufficiently with the ventilator, but she hadn't made any meaningful attempt to breathe on her own. Emma hadn't suffered any further seizures, even with the reduced medications; her kidneys were functioning better. It was all good news but all Regina wanted was for Emma to open her eyes, just to indicate the woman she so desperately loved was still there.

Without consciously doing so they had settled somewhat into a routine so Emma would never be alone. Regina stayed with Emma alone at night after they all visited her together. David and Snow would take Henry to the mansion to sleep while they went home to their son. Snow would arrive early in the morning while David went to the station and then patrolled the town. Regina would return home to have breakfast with her son, sleep for a few hours and then they would come back to the hospital together and sit with the Charmings. In the late afternoon, David would take Henry with him on a quick patrol, which ended with a trip to Granny's to get much-needed fuel for those keeping vigil over the Savior.

Betty was a middle-aged plump woman who was far and away Regina's favorite nurse in the ICU. She was professional, always told them what she was doing, always talked to Emma in a soothing voice and seemed to get Emma medications and fresh warm blankets before anyone else would even realize she needed them. Regina only wished she could work continuously.

"Good afternoon ladies," Betty said cheerfully as she entered and went to the cabinets, interrupting Regina and Snow who were reading Emma the newspaper. "I talked to Smith and he says we can remove the electrodes on Emma's scalp for a while, so would either of you like to help me wash her hair? She also stable enough to be fully turned now, so I'll be giving her a full sponge bath too." Betty paused as she inspected the bottles she had in the cabinet. "Would Emma like unscented or lavender? I'm afraid it's the only choices we have. If you bring her own we can use that next time."

"No need, I'll be right back," Regina said as she disappeared from the room in a cloud of purple smoke.

"I always forget she can do that," Betty said with a chuckle and Snow reciprocated with a soft smile. She watched Betty remove the electrodes one by one from Emma scalp. She was delicate, ensuring she didn't irritate Emma's skin. As each one was removed, Emma looked more like her normal self and it warmed Snow. She stroked Emma's head in a way she hadn't been able to do in nearly a week. She was so focused on believing Emma was asleep she didn't notice Regina had returned until she and Betty began conversing.

"I didn't know what you could use, but I brought her shampoo, conditioner and a 2-in-1 if that's easier, and her two favorite body washes."

"Perfect dear, just set them by the sink so I can wash them with a wipe, don't want to give Emma an infection just so she can smell good. Be sure and wash your hands."

Regina didn't object to being called dear or being given orders by this woman. She was kind and her words were all intended to make sure Emma was as healthy as possible. Once Regina washed her hands with antibacterial soap, she joined Snow in admiring the blonde. They heard Betty run water and fiddling with things by the sink, but neither cared. She pulled the roller table next to Emma's head, complete with two basins and a stack of towels.

"Alright Emma, not going to lie, this will feel a little awkward, but your hair will be nice and clean and not feel so itchy. I'm just going to get Chris to help us for a second to help me lay you down and put a pillow under your shoulders so we can rest your head in this nice clean warm water okay? I'll be right back dear."

"Can't we help you?" Snow asked as she went to leave the room.

"How about this time you watch Chris and I, and next time you could help if Emma still needs it."

The pair nodded, "Just let them do their jobs," Regina asked of Snow.

Chris helped Betty with an impressive amount of care considering his bulging muscles and towering stature. They had clearly done this together for many people before, it was well orchestrated and positioning Emma took less than a minute.

"Alright ladies, use the jug to wet her hair. I think we'll use the 2-in-1, it will be far easier as she has a lot of hair. It is beautiful Emma, but hard to wash in a basin. Just don't shampoo directly over her stitches." Regina had honestly forgotten about Emma's head wound and subsequent concussion. She couldn't even remember knowing that Emma had stitches until she watched Betty remove the bandage covering them. Betty remarked they were healing nicely and Regina couldn't help but agree. The skin around them didn't look angry and they clearly weren't infected. She only counted to seven before Betty turned Emma's head back. Regina held the jug and shampoo up to Snow, allowing her to choose which she wanted. When she made eye contact she realized Snow was crying.

"What's wrong?" Regina was concerned.

"I've never washed her hair before," Snow quietly confessed.

"Oh. Well, I have, so take the shampoo. She likes slow small circles, she finds rubbing at the side of her head above the ears the most relaxing. Just the same as you."

Snow stood stunned at Regina for a moment as she watched Regina fill the jug and carefully wet all of Emma's hair, never letting a drop fall onto the towels Betty had placed to protect the sheets. Snow found the inner strength to slowly lather the shampoo into Emma's scalp, working her hands meticulously.

"Looks like you know your wife rather well. She likes whatever it is you are doing, her heart rate and blood pressure are down," Betty said as she jotted down Emma's vitals on her chart.

Unprompted, Regina picked up the bottle and started to clean the long locks in the basin so Snow could continue her slow ministrations and keep Emma relaxed. When they took their wedding vows Regina had thought it would be Emma doing this kind of thing for her when they were old. She had a good ten years on Emma, and she wasn't sure what the 28 years under the curse had meant for her aging process, but she always assumed she would be old and frail before the vigorous blonde. Snow had started to sing her soft lullaby; her tears now falling as she thought of all the times she had wished she could have done this for Emma. As she stood there now massaging her daughter's scalp she would give anything for it to return to an empty wish.

"Ready to rinse Snow?" Regina politely asked. Both she and Betty had let the moment last longer than it should have, appreciating the significance of the moment. "We don't want her to get cold," Regina added.

Snow removed her hands as Regina began rinsing Emma's hair with clean water, starting with her scalp then lifting her long blonde hair from the basin and rinsing it in midair. Snow gathered the clean locks in a towel as Regina removed the basin while she held Emma's head and replaced it with a towel covered pillow. As Snow towel dried her daughter's hair Regina took Emma's comb and starting brushing her hair for the first time since her fall. She was slow and methodical, working from the bottom up.

"Perfect. Does that feel better Emma? More like your old self?" Betty conversed with her unconscious patient as she helped Snow clean up. Regina was lost thinking about how Emma looked the last time her hair was wet. Looking at her now, five days later, she was less sure now than she had been then that she was ever going to get her back.

"Chris and I will bathe Emma now, why don't you both go get some fresh air for half an hour?" Betty suggested.

"Can't we do it?" Regina implored. She didn't like the idea of Chris cleaning her wife. She wasn't questioning his professionalism, she just didn't like the idea of someone touching Emma without the blonde's consent. Betty had at least earned Regina's trust, Chris had not.

"I think you've both had enough for today, let us take care of Emma and you both take care of each other. We need to redo her dressings and change the linens anyway, then it will be rest time for her. Don't worry dear, I'll be the one cleaning her, Chris is just stronger than I and makes it easier to move Emma safely."

Regina hated that other people were more capable of caring for Emma than herself. As the days progressed, she resented that she was becoming accustomed to that being so.

* * *

Regina preferred the nights in the ICU. They were peaceful, it was just her and Emma. They were rarely interrupted by medical personnel. Although she had been jesting when she told Henry that being with Emma was rather boring, the previous night she had found it to be true. Therefore, she brought a book to read to Emma and to herself. It helped Regina forget that their predicament was now routine. That she would stare at her wife begging her to wake up and breathe on her own. Another day had passed and Regina mentally thought about what had improved. Her lungs. Her lungs were what had improved. Her consciousness hadn't. Emma had been turned onto her right side and it increasingly felt normal to Regina. Emma never slept on her back, this was more natural. She lowered her book and leaned in to talk directly to her wife.

"Emma. This shouldn't be like when you learned how to play the piano. I don't need the grand surprise of when you played the first part of the Für Elise for my birthday. I want to be there for the miskeyed, mistimed chopsticks. Don't think it's okay to stay asleep until you're ready to walk and talk. I need you to start showing me that you're recovering, that you're still in there."

Regina squeezed Emma's hand tightly as she looked back at the EEG that was now reattached. It looked just as it always did.

"Okay let me make this really simple. Open your eyes. That's all I need for you to do. They tell me it's the first real sign you're waking up. So please just open your damn eyes. I haven't seen them look at me in five days. I miss them. I miss interpreting them, and that feeling that you can just look at me and I can know what you're thinking and feeling. And you're the only one who can do the same for me."

She stared at Emma, assuming her sheer will and desperation would prompt her wife into action. She sighed heavily and returned to the novel. She had chosen something easy that Emma had read before so if she could hear she wouldn't be confused if she missed some sections.

"Chapter Four: The Keeper of the Keys. Boom. They knocked again…"

Once Regina was ready to start chapter seven she glanced back at Emma as she had done every couple of pages. She was completely startled that Emma's eyes were open, staring straight ahead.

"Emma?" No response. "Emma can you hear me, darling?" Still nothing. Regina squeezed her hand tightly but Emma's eyes didn't move, didn't blink. Regina dropped the book and waved her hand in front of Emma's face, she blinked and it gave Regina hope Emma was responding to her. She snapped her fingers repeatedly but Emma failed to convey any sign of awareness. Regina contemplated calling a doctor, she would if her wife gave any sign she was really there. Her monitors suggested that nothing had actually changed.

"Well, I did say you just had to open your eyes. Touché Emma. Touché. Next time I'll ask for some singing, perhaps a little dancing." Regina stared at the beautiful green irises and felt a cool sadness enter her heart, pushing out the excitement she had just experienced. Emma's eyes didn't convey the brightness of the soul that used to lie behind them. They were vacant.  _She couldn't do this five minutes ago. This is a win Regina,_ she reminded herself.

"Thank you, Emma. Thank you for trying to come back to me. Okay, now where we? Chapter Seven. The Sorting Hat." By the time Harry Potter was inducted into Gryffindor, Emma's eyes had closed once more.

* * *

**Day Five:**

"I know it's good, but it's freaky. It's just weird," Henry stated as they stared at Emma, whose eyes were once again staring blankly into space.

"Henry," Regina said soft pleading tone.

"I'm sorry Mom. It's just, Ma you're creeping me out. You should at least try blinking, it will help mix it up a little," Henry suggested to his comatose mother. He did what Regina had done and snapped his fingers in front of her eyes yet nothing happened. "Well you can't fake that," he added as we went to sit back on the couch he claimed as his own and took out his school books and started writing away.

"So this is the fourth time right? That we're aware of? And it's been two hours since the last time?" Henry directed at his mother.

"Yes."

"So it's getting more frequent. That's gotta be good right?"

"I would think so Henry. Smith should be along shortly, you can ask him."

"He'll do," Henry stated as he spotted Collins in the hall.

Regina was confused until Henry returned with Collins on his tail. He noted his patient's eyes were open and took out his penlight to observe any reaction from Emma. Her pupils constricted slightly to the light but nothing more.

"Everything appears as it did this morning. We've booked Emma in for an MRI in an hour. It'll hopefully give us more information on how Emma's brain is doing," Collins stated flatly.

"What are you looking for?" Regina prodded.

"Honestly?" Regina nodded. "Areas of cell death, structural abnormalities, and any brain swelling. Emma's intracranial pressure has been stable since she was admitted if the MRI is clean for swelling we will remove the monitor after the test."

"You can see the brain damage on the scan?" Henry asked.

"Some yes, but not all. Anoxic brain injuries are difficult. Any area of the brain can be affected. Dr. Smith and I will discuss our findings after the scan. The test will take about ninety minutes, as we take two MRI's, one with and one without contrast. It will give us the most information on how Emma's brain is doing so we can manage her condition going forward."

"But this is good though right, Ma opening her eyes? Even if it is weird?" Henry searched the doctor for good news.

"Yes, it's a positive development, even if it is unsettling. Keep talking to her and keep her calm." Collins shifted to talk directly to Emma. "I'll see you in an hour, okay?" He jotted down a few notes on Emma's chart and left.

Regina focused her attention on Emma and stroked her hand. She was facing the left, which Henry liked as he could see her from his comfortable couch position. Regina's exhaustion caught up with her, and she lay her head on Emma's bed staring directly into her wife's eyes. Once Emma's closed after a long blink, Regina did the same.

* * *

Emma's four closest family members were once again sitting in the small waiting room in the ICU waiting for a doctor to tell them how poor the Savior's health was. They had grown to hate these four walls. Whale, Collins, and Smith all entered the room and sat opposite them as if they were about to engage in a game of Battleship.

"Let's get right to it shall we?" Smith stated. While the adults were anxious to hear what the doctor had to say, Henry was dreading it. The internet had told him what to expect. He had hidden the truth from his mother for days, hoping that Emma would wake up and it wouldn't be as bad as he had read.

"There's an area of the brain called the hippocampus. It's responsible for developing long-term memories. Unfortunately, it's the area of the brain that most sensitive to oxygen deprivation and I'm afraid Emma's scans confirm there is significant damage to that area of her brain."

"You're saying Emma won't remember anything?" Snow asked.

"No, it means in all likelihood, she won't be able to form new memories." Everyone was shocked that it was Henry who had spoken these words. He stared at his mom's eyes which were searching his in disbelief. "I have the internet." He turned to the doctors, "What else did you find?"

"There is a significant amount of damage to the primary motor cortex, which we expected to see based on the observations we have…"

"Stop. You can tell us the technical details another day. Is Emma going to wake up and in simple plain words, if she does what should we expect?" Regina was growing frustrated. She needed all the information they could give her in bitesize form.

The doctors looked at each other, silently debating who would break the devastating news. Whale relented.

"We simply don't know if Emma will wake up. Her progress has been slow, and that's statistically concerning for an injury like hers, but it is still very early. Many people have been where she is and are leading normal lives." Whale paused, contemplating how to interpret the imaging results for them. He wasn't a neurologist, both men sitting next to him were.

"We can't predict exactly the deficits Emma is likely to have other than those already discussed. There is diffuse damage to both hemispheres of Emma's brain. This could mean problems with language, speech, vision, or critical thinking on top of movement and long-term memory. She could also display personality changes and suffer intense headaches. We really won't know until Emma wakes." Smith had returned to his usual clinical tone, give them the facts. Make it clear.

"It's important to remember that Emma's brain is trying to heal itself. The best way I can describe it to you is that she's driving down a road and she suddenly finds a roadblock, so she turns around to find another way. She's facing a lot of roadblocks, and it's taking time for her to find her way. Recovery takes time," Smith added calmly.

"I'm going to see my daughter," Snow said as we stood and started to leave the room. She couldn't listen anymore; she just wanted to sit and comfort her child. Emma would find her way back. She was a Charming. It's what they did.

"Go with your grandparents, tell Emma I'll be there in a minute," Regina sternly told Henry. He simply nodded and left his mom alone with the doctors.

"Is Emma going to live?" Regina asked plainly.

"It's more likely she will than won't, barring complications like an infection," Smith assured.

"So I need to start thinking about long-term care?" Regina was in a proactive mode. Being upset about Emma's condition wasn't going to be helpful. Figuring out the next steps were what she could do.

"It's really too early for that," Smith stated.

"Best case scenario she needs help recovering that will take what, months? Years?" Regina wasn't hearing anything that would divert her focus.

"How much care she needs in that time has a lot of variables, but yes she will make the most improvement in the first six months and further in the following six, then improvements will be far slower," Smith confirmed.

"We don't have what she needs in town do we?" Regina had known the answer before she asked it. She had never signed papers for any program to help rehabilitation from brain damage. They had a physical therapy department in the hospital, but that wasn't going to be enough if Emma would never remember a new day.

"Regina, we don't know what Emma will need yet." Whale was trying to sooth Regina's mind from analyzing the worst case scenario.

"I'll get you some names of places in and around Portland, Manchester, and Boston designed for the rehabilitation of brain injury victims. I'm afraid I'm not familiar was any facility. But Whale is right; it's too early, we might have what she needs here," Smith said as he tried to appease the Mayor, who clearly needed something she could do for Emma, even if her actions were premature.

"I want to be prepared for every outcome. If this is all we get, what we have now, she can stay here right?"

"You're the Mayor," Smith countered plainly.

Regina stood and stared out of the window and looked down on her town. A town she had made to be happy in. A town she had given so much of her recent life to, to make it a nourishing and prosperous environment. She turned back to the three doctors.

"Not anymore I'm not." She turned to rejoin her wife. Her life was now about getting Emma well. She didn't have time for anything else.

* * *

**Day Six:**

Regina cracked her neck as she finally accepted that was all the sleep she was going to get. Between nursing checks and doctor's rounds, the early mornings were exhausting experiences for everyone. Regina had begun to wonder how anyone got better in a place as busy as this. When exactly were patients supposed to rest? Regina gripped Emma's hand tightly, hoping to elicit some reaction from the unconscious blonde. It was almost time for Snow to arrive and for Regina to leave to have breakfast with Henry. It was his first day back at school after a nearly a week away. They had come to an agreement that Regina would text him if anything happened. It was less conspicuous than a phone call.

Snow entered the room with a concerned expression. "She has a fever?"

"Low grade, 99.4. Down from 99.8 an hour ago. She's doing okay Snow," Regina said warmly. They had been waiting for an infection to set in for days, and Regina was actually happy that this was a bad as it got.

"Did you send her magic?" Snow asked as she noticed Regina looked more drained than normal.

"I did. I don't know if it helps, but I've concluded it doesn't hurt." Regina had been sending Emma magic in short bursts every night.

"She feels just as strong as yesterday?" Snow asked, making sure her daughter's fever wasn't weakening her.

"She does." Regina turned her attention back to Emma. "Okay, I'm going to go have breakfast with our son. You have fun with your mom, who will, of course, call me if anything changes or if you need anything." She stroked Emma's cheek as she said her goodbye. "We can't eat or drink in here until her fever is gone and tell David to change before he visits if he can't make him put on a gown. That patrol car is an incubator for the plague," Regina directed towards Snow.

Snow nodded, she knew the instructions had come from the staff, not Regina trying to enforce a boundary.

"I know this is your time with her Snow, but would you mind…"

"If you came back early? Of course not. Come back after breakfast. And sleep here on the couch." She noticed the books Regina had brought and added, "Harry Potter?"

"She's a fan. She read them with Henry when he was younger. I must say they are rather enjoyable. I can't wait to find out what happens next. Some of the magical concepts are accurate. Have you read them?"

"No, we watched the films a few times, though. Would you mind if I read the first one to her again?"

"Course not. Emma will be able to recite the thing by the time she wakes up." With a polite nod, Regina enveloped herself in purple smoke and disappeared.

* * *

Regina hadn't meant to fall asleep at home. She did as planned; ate fruit and toast with her son, showered and taken him to school. She had gone to the store to fill the fridge with provisions so they could have a decent breakfast for the rest of the week. Once the groceries were arranged, Regina marveled at the quiet of the house. How perfect everything seemed.

Regina noted the house was frankly ideal for a wheelchair as the ground floor had a few large open spaces. She walked around her home deciding which door frames would need to be wider and which pictures needed to be lowered so Emma could see them. Perhaps she was being pessimistic, but the longer Emma remained unresponsive, the less Regina believed that Emma would be the person she knew. She could handle the physical disabilities more than Emma would, all Regina needed from Emma was to be able to talk to her. If all she ever remembered about their lives were the past two years, then Regina would willingly spend the next fifty recounting them.

The downstairs bathroom was a decent size for a half bath, but the walls would need to be knocked down for it to be functional for wheelchair-bound Emma. Regina contemplated which were probably load bearing walls and determined that the sitting room would need to be altered. It was there she saw Emma's blanket and disregarded book. She had laid there reading while Regina worked last Sunday night and had fallen asleep, her reading glasses crooked. Regina remembered taking the blanket from the basket and covering her slumbering wife. The blonde had settled further as she felt the warmth and murmured softly as Regina removed her glasses and kissed her lips tenderly. Regina recalled every muscle twitch Emma had made that night as she breathed in Emma's scent from the bright red blanket. The brunette then sat on the couch and picked up Emma's book. She had been reading 'Gone Girl' and was roughly halfway through. Regina lowered her head to the pillow and wondered if Emma would ever know how the book ends. Inhaling Emma's essence soothed Regina; it reminded her of safety, love, and belonging. She closed her eyes and saw Emma bringing her coffee that afternoon, the simple reflex kiss they shared when she departed. She longed to be able to turn back time.

* * *

A text from Snow was what awoke Regina, with the simple word ' _come_ '. Regina panicked, she assumed the fever was worse; Emma was having some sort of crisis. Never did it occur to her that it might be good news.

"What's wrong?" Regina immediately enquired as she materialized in the ICU.

"Look," Snow said with a smile. She directed Regina's gaze to Emma right hand; her index finger was twitching. Regina looked straight to Emma's brainwaves.  _Is she actually communicating?_  No was the conclusion Regina made; everything was the same.

"I know it's small, but you should feel this," Snow said as she offered Emma's hand to Regina. It wasn't small to Regina. Emma was moving; she hadn't moved in a week. It was tiny, the doctors would say it was insignificant. But to her family, they knew it was Emma's way of saying 'I'm trying guys', even if the medical machinery wouldn't confirm it.

"Emma? It's Mom and Regina. We're here for you sweetheart. You're okay. You're in the hospital." Snow paused then, unsure what else to say. Snow looked to Regina for guidance, but her earlier smile had turned into a sorrowful stare.

"She can't hear us, Snow," Regina said plainly as she returned Emma's now still hand to her mother's. Snow sat agape at Regina's confession and dramatic change in emotion. Throughout this week Regina had always conveyed she believed Emma would wake up. Even when Snow had panicked over Emma's paralysis and cried herself to sleep in her husband's arms, Regina had been the pillar of strength.

"What happened?" Snow said gently.

"Nothing happened. I just miss her and the longer she's like this, the less I believe that I can take her home and live the life we had planned. It's my fault; the Evil Queen isn't supposed to be happy, and she's paying for my previous transgressions."

"Regina, it was an accident. You didn't do this. Emma wouldn't want you to blame yourself." Regina dismissed Snow's comforting words. She lay down on the couch and stared blankly into the room.

"Her fever is down a little more too, 99.2. Betty was pleased about that," Snow added, trying to bring hope to Regina. "She is getting better, Regina. Just be patient." Regina heard Snow's words, but they had no effect on her mood or her belief.

* * *

"You are getting better. Still got that fever to get rid of, but they lowered your oxygen levels today, and you're doing just fine." Regina shifted in her seat, kicked off her shoes and wrapped a blanket around her legs, settling in for another night of reading to Emma until she couldn't feign off sleep any longer.

"We're a hot topic of conversation you know. Apparently, my stepping down has caused quite the frenzy. Everyone wants a piece of the power. Just wait 'til they sit through council meetings and try to balance the quarterly report." Regina grinned in Emma's direction. "Henry begged me to make it interim, just to take a leave of absence. He believes you'll be just fine in a few months. I wish I could share his optimism, Emma. You're honestly beginning to scare me, darling."

"I love that you opened your eyes for me Emma and you're twitching slightly. I know that you're working hard to wake up. So I'm just going to sit here and wait for you. If you could just move your eyes a little next time you open them I'd greatly appreciate it." Regina started reading to Emma, it was time for Harry and Ron to follow the spiders. Emma didn't like spiders.

It was around three in the morning when the nurse came in to check on Emma and woke Regina from her stupor, the book long forgotten.

"Sorry. She's just fine, go back to sleep." Regina nodded to the nurse as she left to check on another patient and looked back to Emma. Her hand felt cold, so Regina pulled out some lotion and started to rub it into Emma's skin, opting to moisturize her blonde's skin as she transferred heat. She started humming, completely lost in how natural all this now felt. She looked at Emma. Her eyes were once again open. Regina smiled and continued flexing Emma's fingers and met Emma's eyes once more as she starting rotating her wrist side to side.

"Don't want it hurting when you wake up do we, darling?" It was then Regina noticed something different about Emma's eyes. They didn't seem as empty as before. She looked straight at her brain waves and saw they were oscillating at a different frequency.

"Emma?" Regina squeezed Emma's hand frantically trying to obtain a response from her blonde. Emma's brainwaves didn't change at the sound of her wife's voice. Regina looked back into Emma's eyes searching for a reaction. "Emma, can you hear me? It's Regina. You're in the hospital. You're safe, you're okay darling."

Emma continued to stare straight ahead, not blinking, not moving her eyes.

"You're waking up. Show me that is true. Please, Emma." Regina's voice began to break as her excitement diminished. Her eyes started to water as her hopes had been dashed again. All she wanted to do was talk to her wife, to hear from her that she wasn't in pain, that she was okay. Regina lowered her head onto Emma's hand and began to sob into her wife's flesh. She gave herself a minute to express such emotion before she looked back at Emma.

"It's okay darling. It's okay. I'll get a doctor so we can know what these changes mean. I'll be right back alright?" As Regina shifted, Emma's eyes moved to where her wife now stood. Testing her immediate theory that Emma was following her, Regina sat down and Emma's eyes slowly drifted down to her new position. Regina, mesmerized, repeated the movement. Emma's eyes moved sluggishly. It wasn't an instant reaction but Emma tracked Regina's movement several times. Regina didn't know what to do. She had been silent throughout this exchange completely transfixed on Emma's eyes amazed that they were moving, purposefully. If Emma were actually processing this, she would think Regina looked like some sort of insane jack in a box. Emma would be wondering what the hell she was doing.

"Emma, can you squeeze my hand?" Regina implored again to her wife with such sweetness it would have broken the heart of anyone listening. Regina squeezed Emma's hand, but the blonde was unable to reciprocate.

"That's okay darling. Maybe you will be able to that tomorrow." She quietened and started stroking Emma's hair. The sensation caused Emma's eyes to flicker a little and Regina's smile widened.

"I've missed you, my princess."

It only lasted a few more seconds until Emma's eyes closed and the moment was over. Regina stayed as she was until the sun finally rose and the doctors came for rounds. For the first time in a week, she felt Emma in her heart and that they had a future together.

* * *

**Day Seven:**

"Hi, Ma!" Henry exclaimed as he materialized with his mother before they even had breakfast. He was so excited that his Ma was finally showing some real improvement. His grandparents were already there; they had been told by Regina that they should come via an early morning text. "The house has been really quiet without you," Henry said as he sat next to his mother after Snow moved out of the way. Whale and Smith motioned for the adults to talk to them in the hall.

"We've reviewed Emma's overnight labs, EEG and those combined with her neuro exam this morning all show Emma has made remarkable progress in the past 24 hours. Her EEG is showing awake/sleep cycles. She is starting to try and breathe on her own," Smith said in a manner that implied he was not only surprised but impressed with how the Savior had progressed in such a short time.

"That's good right, the faster she recovers, the more of Emma we'll get back?" Snow asked desperately.

"Exactly," Whale said with a beat in his voice that had been lacking all week.

"Is there anything we can do for her? Anything we should look for? Be aware of?" Regina asked, desperate to get back to her wife. She didn't want to miss a moment with her wife now. She wanted to be there as she was now improving in a tangible way.

"When Emma's eyes are open make sounds and movements. Give plenty of time between stimulations. Her brain will be confused, and it will take time to process one event. If she starts to track something, call us. She won't track every time she opens her eyes, so don't panic. Progress will be intermittent. We're going to take Emma for a chest CT shortly to get a better look at how her lungs are progressing. Her fever is still holding at 99.2, so we're running further cultures to pinpoint the infection she has so we can treat it more effectively. After she has PT later this morning, I'd like Emma to rest for a few hours, which means no talking or touching her to let her brain rest after so much activity. Other than that, just be with her and keep doing what you're doing. Emma is comfortable, you all being here is keeping her anxiety low," Smith concluded with a soft smile.

"Thank you," Regina said as she turned and concluded the exchange. As she made eye contact with her son, he looked worried.

"Ma's not doing anything Mom. She's just staring into space," Henry said dejectedly. Regina was by the sink washing her hands and called across the room to Henry.

"It's okay. The doctors said it would be sporadic. She's probably tired," Regina clarified for Henry.

"Oh my God Mom, her eyes moved to you. She can hear you!" Snow, David, and Regina all seemed amazed.

"He's right. She's looking right at you Regina," David confirmed.

"Move and talk to her again," Snow implored. Regina was confused but walked to the foot of Emma's bed. Her wife's eyes lethargically followed.

"I'll get Smith," David said as he left the room. Although everyone else in the room was silent and still, Emma didn't try to track her father; her eyes were completely focused on Regina.

"Ma?" Henry called. When Emma didn't move her eyes, he tried again, louder. "Ma?" After several seconds she wasn't responding to him. "It's you Mom, only you." He added sadly. Regina was stunned, but before she could say anything Smith and Collins appeared to see their patient respond for themselves.

As Collins took note of Emma's vitals, Smith walked to Emma's side and clapped his hand loudly by her ear. They waited, but nothing happened. He took his penlight out and shined it into Emma's eyes, but again nothing happened.

"She'll only do it for Mom," Henry helpfully supplied.

"Okay, Regina please move towards me," Smith asked. Regina complied, and Emma's eyes kept her fixed gaze on the Mayor as she moved. "Remarkable," Smith commented. "Okay Emma, just rest. We'll be back soon to take you for a scan of your lungs. Let us know if you need anything." Collins finished documenting the chart, and the family was left alone again.

Regina sat down by Emma's side and looked sadly at her son. He was clearly upset that his Ma hadn't moved her eyes for him and when she looked at David and Snow their expressions conveyed the same pain. As she looked back to her wife, her eyes drifted closed as she once again fell asleep.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why she only moved them for me," Regina said after a few minutes of silence.

"What's important is that she's doing it at all," David supplied. "You're her wife, her True Love. It makes sense to me that you'd be the first person she'd seek." David had come to this conclusion when he thought about how Snow had helped him wake from his coma when no one else did. "And let's not forget magic. Who knows what kind of effect that has?"

"I should go, I'm already late for school." Henry's abruptness startled the room.

"You don't have to go today if you don't want to," Regina said. "You can stay with Emma."

"She doesn't need me right now. She just needs you. I'll be back later Ma. Feel better." Henry left with such abruptness that Regina didn't even have time to react let alone form a response.

"I'll take him in the cruiser, I'll be back shortly," David helpfully said as he kissed his wife's head and quickly followed his grandson.

Regina's guilt was becoming overwhelming. She felt responsible for her son's pain. Her anguish filled the hospital room with thick air.

"He'll come around. Give him time. Give her time. Just help her wake up," Snow stated even though she was just as hurt by her daughter's damaged brain.

* * *

"Everyone's has gone home a little earlier tonight. Your fever is a little higher, they want you to rest more. So I'm just going to sit here quietly and read. Let me know if you need anything alright darling?" Regina spoke in a hushed tone, making sure not to disturb her beautiful wife.

It had been an emotional day for Emma's family. She had opened her eyes several times during the day, and when she was able to move her eyes it was only to Regina's voice or movement. Henry had spent the evening despondent on the couch, seemingly working on his homework. He had barely spoken to either of his mothers. Snow had sat with Regina and Emma all day and Regina could see the pain grow each time Snow talked to Emma and the blonde remained unresponsive to her.

As Regina sat in the quiet darkened hospital room she noticed Emma's fingers twitch. This had become fairly common and it didn't necessarily mean her eyes would open, but this time they did. Regina placed her book down, took Emma's hand hers, looked at her wife and smiled.

"Hi, darling. You've caused a bit of tension today you know. Henry and your mother are upset that you only want communicate with me. Your Dad seems fine with it, he's just glad you're getting better."

Regina looked warmly into Emma's eyes. She saw recognition in them and used her free hand to stroke Emma's cheek. Regina hadn't been paying attention to Emma's monitors, if she had she would have seen Emma's brain waves change, her heart rate increase slightly. Her eyes twitched as Regina softly placed her fingers on Emma's face.

"Emma? Can you hear me?" Regina was completely shocked when Emma blinked back. "You can hear me?" Again Emma blinked. Regina now noticed the change in Emma's vitals, her heart rate was increasing further.

"You're okay darling. You're in the hospital. You're safe," Regina said calmly, trying to comfort the blonde, who was surely scared and confused. When Emma didn't blink Regina realized she hadn't asked a question for Emma to respond to.

"Do you understand me?" Again Emma confirmed that she did.

"Can you squeeze my hand, Emma?" Regina looked at the hand she was holding. It didn't twitch, let alone constrict. "Try again Emma." Her hand once again remained limp. Regina had sat here for a week waiting for her wife to wake up and it was only now she realized she hadn't prepared what to say when she did. It was only then she noticed she hadn't asked Emma a 'no' question and was assuming Emma was blinking once for yes and would blink twice for no.

"Can you blink once for yes and twice for no?" Emma blinked once. "And now two darling." Emma blinked twice. Tears of joy were trickling down Regina's face. She looked at her wife, she seemed to have more energy every given second. Regina saw every micro movement Emma was making and as her eyes scrunched slightly as her heart rate increased further. Realization hit Regina instantly.

"Are you in pain?" A long hard blink from Emma. Regina hit the call button, but there was no need the nurse was already entering Emma's room. "She's in pain," Regina said sternly.

"Hi Emma, my name is Maggie, I'm a night nurse here, I'm going to give you something for the pain, you'll feel better in no time," she said warmly as she noticed her patient was tracking her. "I only have orders for a few milligrams of morphine. I'll page Smith to call in more if she needs it," Maggie said to Regina as she prepared the medications from the drug box and went through the complicated steps of scanning the medicine into the computer before it was administered.

"You're okay," Regina said soothingly and she stroked Emma's cheek and rubbed her thumb over the top of her hand. "Do you know where you are?" Emma indicated no.  _Short-term memory problems_ , Regina recalled. "You're in the hospital. We're giving you something for the pain, you're going to feel a lot better in just a moment. Okay?" A strong blink was given to Regina in reply.

"Okay Emma, here come the drugs, enjoy them, dear," the nurse said over Emma's shoulder. As soon as the medicine hit Emma's veins her heart rate started to normalize and Regina could see her eyes cloud over.

"Feel better?" A long slow blink conveyed that she did. Emma was quickly being pulled back to sleep by her drug-addled brain.

"Emma? Do you know who I am?" Emma's eyes were heavy and Regina was convinced she had tried to blink yes, but she wasn't sure as her eyes drooped closed if it was succumbing to sleep or the second blink to indicate no.

Emma's brain was screaming yes, she knew exactly who was in front of her. The love of her life.


	8. 21 Days: Part Two

**Day Eight:**

Regina had called each of her family members half an hour after Emma had fallen back asleep, once she was sure her wife was comfortable and was sufficiently medicated. She had convinced them all not to come to the hospital right away, Emma needed sleep and the morning routine with frequent staff visits was about to begin. Regina expressed her concern to Snow as they spoke, Emma's fever had spiked to 101.2 during the night and she seemed to be in a lot of pain. Regina needed someone to talk to desperately. She was so used to talking to Emma about what was bothering her that repressing her emotions was taking its toll.

As she sat by Emma's side as the doctors performed rounds, she noted that they didn't try to wake Emma, but each doctor took a turn listening to her lungs. Each one commented on what they heard, each time increasing the fear in Regina.

"What is it? Is she worse?" Regina finally broke her silence.

"Yes," Smith said with a dejected sigh. "Looks and sounds like pneumonia. We've had to increase her oxygen. We will start her on different antibiotics. Hopefully, they will start working."

"What if they don't?" Regina anxiously asked.

"Then we will alter her medication until we find something that does. Emma needs rest today, if she wakes up you can talk to her, but don't try to rouse her," Smith instructed.

Regina nodded and was now petrified that her wife's health was declining. She was conversing with her only a few hours ago and now she was back to fighting to just stay alive. Regina was struggling to handle this emotional roller coaster. She drowned out the doctors as they ordered tests and medications and sought physical contact with her wife.

"Is it okay if I hold her hand?" Regina sounded like she was going to emotionally break and it tore Smith apart.

"Yes. That's fine." He offered a sweet smile and added, "I think Emma can sense you and knowing you're here helps keep her calm."

Regina waited for the doctors to leave before she pulled out her phone and text Snow.

**She's getting worse, they think it's pneumonia.**

_What's her temp?_

**102.4, she's needing more oxygen. I'm worried.**

_I'll get Henry and we will be right there._

**Thank you.**

Regina paused and sent a further message.

**I'm scared Snow, she got so sick so fast. Magic isn't helping.**

_She'll be okay. Believe it. It's just a setback. We'll be there soon._

Betty's arrival with new medication for Emma prevented Regina from spiraling further into her pessimistic state.

"Morning dear. I heard Emma communicated last night? That's fantastic news. Let's get this new medication started so we can get her feeling better shall we?" Regina gave a sad slow nod. "Don't worry so much dear. Infections happen all the time in ICU patients, we'll get the infection under control and she'll be awake in no time. Stay positive."

In only three hours Regina had gone from being overwhelmingly happy that her wife was 'talking' to her, to completely terrified that pneumonia would take Emma's life.

* * *

"Mom, it's okay. Ma will be okay. She's just sick today. Remember last year when she had the flu? She went to bed and slept for three days. It's how she deals with it," Henry said trying to encourage his mother. He had temporarily become the parent in this relationship.

"Henry's right, before the curse broke, I didn't see Emma for two days, turned out she had an ear infection and was in bed in the loft the entire time," Snow interjected, offering Regina further solace.

Regina didn't accept their explanation, her wife was drowning again in front of her and there wasn't a thing she could do about it, but sit back and idly hope.

"It's not a surge Mom." When Regina looked at Henry in complete confusion before he proceeded to clarify, "You know, when people get a lot better right before they-" Henry suddenly realized what he had said.

"Die?" Regina finished for him. Henry sat wide-eyed, refusing to answer his mother's question. "Henry, answer me, is this something you've read about?" Henry silently nodded, regretting not thinking clearly before he spoke.

"That's not what this is Regina. She has an infection, just give the medication time to work and before you know it she will be awake." Snow firmly believed her words.

If Regina was terrified before, she was now petrified. She gripped Emma's hand so tightly it would have caused an awake person to yelp. "Is this a real thing Henry?"

"Yes. But she's been fighting this fever for days. That's not what's happening here, Mom." Henry knew he needed to switch tactics. "Tell me again about what you 'talked' about?" Henry asked, using air quotes appropriately. "Please."

"She was only awake for a few minutes. She couldn't remember where she was, even after I told her she was in the hospital. She was in pain, I asked her if she knew who I was, but I don't know what her answer was, she fell asleep instantly from the painkillers." Regina sounded despondent. She didn't tell the story with the same excitement she had previously. It wasn't laced with hope and joy. Her version now was dark and dismissive, like the event had been nothing significant. "We should be quiet now, let her sleep in peace." Regina didn't think it mattered anymore, Emma clearly wasn't simply sleeping she had regressed in her consciousness but it was an ideal way to end this conversation without any argument.

"Regina, you're not alone in this, we're here for you too. Don't shut us out," Snow expressed passionately.

"You're rightfully here for only her," Regina snapped back.

"She brought all of us together. I promise we would all be here sitting by your side if it were you lying here. Like it or not, you're a fully fledged Charming now too," David stated, confirming the entire family shared the same opinion of Regina.

"Hardly," Regina dryly replied.

"You are, like it or not. You're stuck with us forever now. Even if Emma doesn't survive this or something else in the future, we will still be right there next to you. Don't make this worse by closing off and making us lose you too." Snow's tone was controlled, her words deliberate. Regina had somehow gone from the evil step-mother to a daughter in Snow's eyes.

* * *

By the time Regina was alone with her wife, as the moon filled the sky, she had completely exhausted herself with worry. Emma's condition hadn't improved all day but was constantly reminded that she hadn't deteriorated either. Emma hadn't even opened her eyes. Even though on previous evenings Regina had been content to sit by her wife's side and read to her, tonight she was so anxious she could not remain still. She needed to do something proactive.

"You only had one session of PT today, so how about I massage your legs for a few minutes?" She paused to give Emma a chance to answer. "Okay Emma, I'm just going to remove your blanket from your left leg. I'm just placing my hands on your foot. I'm rubbing my thumbs along the sole, pushing a little harder as they reach the arch. I'm now kneading my thumbs into the ball of your foot, while my fingers slowly move your toes back and forth."

The massage was intended to help Emma, to get her respond to the feel of her wife. Instead, the action relaxed Regina who took long deep breaths as she slowly worked her fingers to release the tension building in Emma's dormant muscles. Regina continued to describe what she was doing as Jane had taught her to do so. She was actively aware she was describing her movements with more detail than any coma patient would ever need. In this moment, Emma was simply Regina's wife.

"I'm moving my hands, Emma, up to your ankle, I'm rotating it, gently, clockwise, working out any stiffness you may feel. I'm moving my hands up your calf, circulating my fingers so you can feel the sensation deep in your muscles. I'm applying more pressure now so you can really feel me. I'm moving higher now I'm almost at your knee. I'm moving my fingers behind your knee as I work my thumbs into your lower thigh. I'm moving higher now Emma, you'll feel my hands directly on your skin in a moment as I move my hands higher than your stockings reach. They're about to touch you Emma, my warm fingers that will work deep, feel the pressure from my hands as their motions help your blood circulate-"

Regina removed her hands suddenly, instantly highly aware that what she was doing and the way she was speaking to Emma was causing her forget where they were and that Emma wasn't reciprocating.

"I think that's enough, darling. I don't want to add sexual assault to my sparkling reputation," Regina said as she curbed her arousal.

* * *

**Day Nine:**

"Get any sleep today?" Snow asked as Regina returned to Emma's room in the early afternoon.

"A little. Any improvement?" Regina was direct, she hated that she had even left Emma, even if it was to be with Henry.

"Just what I text earlier. She opened her eyes a couple of times for a few minutes, but her eyes didn't move. Her finger twitched a little. Fever and breathing are just the same," Snow said more despondently than was her normal demeanor. She had been so excited when Regina and told her that Emma understood her, communicated with her, but since then her daughter had remained unconscious. She knew Emma was sick and was using all her strength to fight the bacteria raging inside her, but she wanted desperately for Emma to just tell her she was okay and she knew who she was.

"Well, that's still better than yesterday," Regina said as she leaned in to kiss Emma's forehead and tell her wife that she was back. As she did, Snow noticed that she winced slightly.

"What's wrong, where do you hurt?" Snow asked concerned.

"Oh it's nothing, I just pushed myself a little hard this morning." When Snow gave her an inquisitive look, Regina reluctantly clarified, "I've been working out when I go home."

Realization dawned on Snow. Regina was so practical. "To get stronger, for her." Snow's interest in Regina's developing routine was piqued, "You're lifting weights?"

"I've been using some of Emma's workout DVDs. I don't know why she enjoys exercising so much. It's exhausting," Regina stated flatly.

"Could I borrow some, or do them with you sometimes?" Snow was suddenly aware of how physically weak she was. She had been strong and nimble while on the run from Regina in her youth. Her sedate life in Storybrooke combined with bearing Neal had left her nowhere near the athlete she used to be. Just helping with PT for several days had actually left a small burn in her own biceps and shoulders. Snow knew instantly why Regina was pushing herself. She was planning for Emma's lack of mobility. As her wife, she would be there for all of it. The bathroom, getting into bed, getting dressed. As her mother, Snow knew her role would be less, but more strength would help.

"We'll have to move," Snow said, suddenly realizing the implications of her daughter's condition.

"Stairs," Regina replied, showing she instantly understood. "By the time I bring her back she might be able to walk well enough that that won't be necessary."

"Back?" Snow asked, confused.

"From wherever it is she needs to go to rehabilitate. I have a short list, depending on what kind of facility is most appropriate."

"Why can't she recover here? There's a PT room right?"

"Because we don't have speech, cognitive, or occupational therapists. We don't have a psychiatrist to help her adapt to all this. We don't have the expertise to help with memory deficits that aren't from a curse. It's not like the staff here are bad, but there are better doctors only a few hours away, some less than one. How can I not take her to them?" Regina took in the despair in Snow's eyes. It was evident she hadn't been like her, planning for the worst-case scenario. "It will all depend on what she needs, how bad things are. But I am taking her Snow. It's not a question of if, but when, where, and for how long."

"Can I come with you? I'll leave Neal and David here. I need to help."

"There's no need to cement child abandonment as your thing, Snow. We can discuss the details later. But I'll keep her as close as possible. It will be good to be away from the staring eyes of the town, but I'm not unreceptive to the fact she needs her family. I imagine the more loved she feels, the better she will recover."

Regina sighed and settled into a chair next to her wife. She took a moment to look at the medical equipment and marveled internally at how she knew what Emma's heart rate and blood pressure should be.

"Sorry darling, I shouldn't have spoken about you as if you aren't here. I just want to give you whatever you need to get better. I, we, will be with you every step of the way," Regina said to Emma then directed her words towards Snow. "You need to start getting over this pneumonia. You're scaring me and your mom you know." Turing to Snow, Regina asked, "Where's David?"

"Restroom." As if on cue David came into view and smiled at the pair as he applied the sanitizer to his hands.

"Regina you won't believe the chaos in this town!" David said confirming he was far and away the most animated person in this room.

"Villains?" Regina asked fearfully. She knew this would be the time to attack if the news of the Savior's condition had made its way to other realms.

"Oh no, far more mundane than that. We need a Mayor. Apparently, the idea that there is no one in charge sends the community into a state of frenzy, worrying about their piece of the pie," David explained.

"Did you get the paperwork I sent over before I stepped down?" Regina prodded.

"I did." Snow's curious look at David's immediate change in mood compelled him to clarify, "Regina made me Sheriff and provided a budget to hire a deputy."

"You were practically co-Sheriff anyway. She just got paid more than you," Regina said with a wry smile as she looked at her sleeping wife.

"Oh is that right Ems? Sure kept that one quiet," David playfully scoffed.

"You've handled things in her absence before, and you can do it again. We need to have an election to make it official, but I can't imagine you won't win," Regina continued.

"I don't want it officially, our daughter is Sheriff," David said resolutely.

"David," Snow said pleadingly. "Do as Regina asks." As tears filled her eyes, David's concern grew.

"Did something happen? Did the doctors say something? Why are you both moving on assuming Emma won't be back at the station?" David anxiously enquired.

"Because she won't be David, not for a while anyway. She may never make a new memory, you can't have that quality in law enforcement. She's practically paralyzed on her left side; she can't be chasing after criminals. She isn't realistically going to be Sheriff anymore." The volume of Snow's voice was increasingly raised as she spoke. Regina was mesmerized; it was rare to see the Charmings argue and this was where this heated exchange was heading. "Regina is taking her to a proper treatment facility and I'm going to go with them," Snow added defiantly.

"Wait, what? You're not taking our daughter out of Storybrooke," David shot at Regina. "Everyone needs to slow down here. Emma is going to be fine."

"David," Snow snapped.

"No, Snow." David's voice had now amplified too.

Regina's ears noted the increase in Emma's heart rate as did Betty who entered the room rapidly for a woman of her physical condition.

"Please take this outside, you're stressing your daughter out," Betty said sternly. Snow and David left immediately. "I'll give her something to relax a little," Betty told Regina. Regina nodded and stroked Emma's hand soothingly.

"You're okay. Your parents are just tired. You just relax and focus on my voice." Betty nodded to Regina to indicate that she was pushing the drugs. Regina's words and touch had already started to calm her wife. She continued to tell Emma where she was and that she was safe and loved until her vitals returned to normal.

"I don't like it when my patients experience such anxiety, but it's actually incredibly encouraging that she just responded that way. She's sleeping now, make sure those two don't wake her up," Betty said softly. "I'm just outside if she needs anything else."

Regina mouthed 'thank you' and lowered her head to Emma's hand. "Everything might be changing darling, but one thing that will always remain the same is how much I love you."

* * *

**Day Ten:**

Regina was awoken by a gentle knocking to the side of her head. She wasn't completely sure of where she was or what on earth the sensation could be. It was Maggie, a nurse who worked the ICU night shift that finally broke through Regina's confused state.

"Are you okay? Emma didn't hurt you did she?" Maggie asked, concerned.

"Hmm? Emma?" It was then Regina realized what she had been feeling was Emma right hand banging against her head. She had been moved to sleep on her left side the night before, and Regina had fallen asleep nuzzled into Emma's hip and had released Emma's hand while she slept.

"She's responding well to the new medication now that we identified the bacteria causing the infection. Her fever broke a few hours ago. She's been increasingly mobile since. I would say someone is feeling better," Maggie said with a bright smile. She was half the age of Betty and by her style Regina concluded that they must have worked together previously. Maggie didn't anticipate Emma's needs the way Betty could, but she cared and was polite. She had all the qualities of being Betty's apprentice.

"Emma?" Regina said analyzing her wife's consciousness. While still trying to fully wake herself, Regina pondered if this latest crisis was really over, or was this just another phase of Emma seeming better before something else needed immediate treatment. The uncoordinated twitching of Emma's entire hand and arm was new and it not only comforted, but also encouraged Regina that Emma was truly improving.

"How is her breathing? Is her pneumonia resolving? Can you take her off the ventilator soon?" Regina knew Maggie wasn't the one who could make these determinations, but she was the only medical personnel in front of her at five in the morning.

"She's not breathing over the vent yet, the doctors will probably reduce the oxygen levels today and see how she does. It takes time and I know it's hard, but she's doing just fine," Maggie replied reassuringly.

Regina wanted to scream at this woman. Emma was not 'just fine', but she also understood what Maggie was trying to tell her. She wanted her wife to be well enough for the machines to removed. It reduced a lot of apprehension from Regina each time Emma needed one less monitor, one less tube, one less instrument. Of all the things Regina wanted to remove the most it was the ventilator. She wanted to see her wife's face properly, she wanted Emma to be able to talk to her when she woke up. She wanted Emma to be well.

"If she starts moving around more or tries to remove any IVs or the breathing tube, we will have to put her in restraints so she doesn't hurt herself," Maggie added nonchalantly as she scribbled notes into Emma's chart.

"No. You're not restraining my wife. She's not a psychiatric patient," Regina responded forcefully.

"I didn't say she was. But as Emma wakes up she's going to try and remove everything, she'll be uncoordinated and could easily injure herself. It's just to keep Emma safe." Maggie was confused. She didn't understand what she had said that was so distasteful to Regina.

"You can leave now," Regina dismissively stated as she turned her attention back to Emma who kept her eyes closed as her right arm jerked forward and back, without rhythm and without coordination.

"I won't let them do that to you. I remember what you told me that day. You've got to work with me on this one, though, don't do anything stupid." Regina completely changed her tone from serious to comforting, adding, "I'm so glad you're feeling better darling. I'd love it if you would open those beautiful green eyes of yours. I rather enjoyed our one-sided conversation a couple of days ago." Regina sighed heavily, her exhaustion apparent. She assumed Emma was in an 'awake' cycle based on her movement, so grabbed the book that had been ignored for the past forty-eight hours.

"Shall we see if Harry can open the Chamber of Secrets while we wait for rounds to begin?" Regina gave Emma a moment to respond as always, but no reply ever came.

* * *

Regina woke to the sound of objects crashing hard into the floor.

"Sorry Moms." Regina glared at Henry. "I didn't mean to knock it over," Henry said as he hastily gathered the fallen medical supplies.

Regina found herself in a chair next to Emma's bed, curled up in a blanket, complete with a pillow. While they had taken Emma for a chest CT right after rounds as the machine was free, Regina had fallen asleep waiting for her to return and had obviously been left that way.

"I'm sorry, I slept through breakfast," Regina sleepily said to Henry.

"You didn't. I brought some. It's at the nurse's station. And look who has decided to join us," Henry stated indicating his ma. She was on her back now and was staring straight at Henry. "How are you feeling today Ma? Doctors say you're doing a lot better." Henry's heart filled with joy when Emma's eyes followed him as he moved to the side of the bed next to his grandmother.

"You've improved a lot today sweetheart. The doctors were really pleased with your scan, your lungs are looking a lot better," Snow lovingly informed Emma and Regina at the same time. "It won't be long until we can take that tube out that's helping you breathe." Snow continued to stroke Emma's hand as Regina stood and made her way over to Emma's bed, and began stroking her long blonde hair.

"How about we ask Betty if we can wash your hair again today? I'm sure you'll feel even better after that." Emma's eyes had moved to Regina, but they now appeared vacant to her wife. She indicated to Snow to squeeze Emma's hand, but Emma didn't move she just stared. "Just rest darling, we're all here if you need anything," Regina added, hiding her disappointment that Emma had interacted with them for such a brief amount of time.

Emma stared straight ahead for a few more minutes while Regina caressed her cheek and Snow stroked her hand. Henry stood silently, not knowing what he should do. He felt awkward. When Emma's eyes finally closed Regina turned to Henry.

"Breakfast?" Henry smiled in reply as they left Emma with her mother as they took the coffees and muffins Henry had brought to their little waiting room to have some quality mother-son time.

* * *

Regina hadn't come back to the hospital that afternoon before collecting Henry, she had been with a contractor discussing the bathroom. By the time they left it was almost time for Henry to finish school, so she drove Emma's bug, enabling Henry to drive them to the hospital. As Regina sat waiting in the ancient vehicle, she contemplated how much she hated the thing. The car, however, was equivalent to family to Emma. Her heart sank as she realized Emma probably would no longer be able to drive it. It was stick shift, it needed two hands and two feet. Logically Regina knew they should just buy Emma a new car when the time came, but that would destroy her. Which left Regina with two options, overhaul the vehicle and switch out the transmissions or leave the thing in the drive so Emma could sit in it when she desired. Regina then considered her own black Mercedes. It wasn't suitable for this new life either, not if Emma's mobility was more than mildly compromised. Regina made the mental note to address transportation later and searched for Henry amongst the teenagers exiting the school. She selfishly enjoyed these new moments with her son. She'd had more one on one time with him in these past two weeks than they had enjoyed in months. Driving had been Emma's thing with him, now it belonged to all of them.

"Think Ma will let me borrow her car when she has the power to say no?" Henry asked his mother as they rode the elevator up to the fifth floor.

"I would doubt it, so make the most of the relaxed rules while you can," Regina said with a telling smile. In all honesty, she had almost concluded the bug would be Henry's first car, they would just have to get something else for her wife, if she could even drive at all.

As they entered the hospital room, everything was quiet as Snow seemed to be deep in thought reading her computer on the couch, while David was sitting by Emma's side softly reading a book to her as he held her hand.

"How's Ma?" Henry asked with a chipper attitude. Driving really was such a pleasure to him.

"Basically the same. She's moving around more but she hasn't blinked or anything today. She opened her eyes a few times, tracked us just once," David replied.

Betty had seen the former Mayor arrive and had followed them in. "Ready to wash her hair?"

"And that will be our cue to leave. Fun visit Ma. Fun, but brief," Henry remarked, knowing his unconscious mother would have appreciated the humor. "Grandpa and I will go for a ride-a-long, we'll be back later. I've got loads to tell you." David had already closed his book, said goodbye to his daughter and was ready to take Henry on the most boring patrol possible.

Snow immediately perked up. She had spent most of the afternoon reading about rehabilitation centers. She had a running shortlist, organized into three categories depending on the intensity of therapy Emma was going to require and wanted to see if Regina had any of the same places in mind. She needed a break and wanted to do something proactive. She had been so focused, she had forgotten that Regina had asked if they could do this for Emma today.

Betty hadn't waited for a response before moving to the sink and preparing the supplies. The two women now stood by Emma's head, not really sure what to do with themselves. They actually felt completely ineffective, which was foreign for both, but particularly unsettling to Regina. In response, Regina started talking to Emma about the bathroom while Snow noted Emma's hands and arms were cold, so she started rubbing them softly, transferring her warmth.

After the basins were ready and Chris had appeared to help position Emma's head, mother and wife began the process of wetting Emma's hair. Regina had barely poured any water over Emma's scalp before the blonde reacted violently. Emma's right leg moved with such speed and force her knee smashed against the railing, causing the bed the shake. Her right arm lunged with enough vigor that when it hit Snow, she caused the former bandit to yelp.

Regina immediately stopped pouring water, but Emma continued to react and thrash as best she could. Her eyes had flown open and though they did nothing more than stare straight ahead, Regina could tell her wife was frightened. If anyone needed any further evidence, Emma's heart monitor was supplying it. Her heart rate was fast enough to sound an alarm. Snow was quickest to react and grabbed Emma's hand, attempting to overpower her daughter to prevent further injury. Regina started stroking Emma's cheek and talking softly to her, trying to reassure her wife that she was safe. Chris had appeared and was helping hold Emma's leg while Betty organized a sedative. Collins responded to his page swiftly and looked overwhelmed in how to help his patient.

"I pulled another two of lorazepam, she already has one in the IV," Betty clinically informed.

"Push it," was all Collins had to say. "It will take a minute or two to calm her," he indicated towards her family. "What happened?"

"We started to wash her hair," Snow answered. Everyone else was focused on Emma.

As the medication took effect, Emma calmed quickly, but Regina didn't stop making sure Emma could see her and didn't stop her reassurances no matter how repetitive it sounded. Her attempts to writhe ceased, however, Emma's eyes continued to stare wide-eyed and tears started to form in her scared green eyes. They trickled down her temple as Regina tried desperately to make Emma acknowledge her, break through the fear she was feeling. Her complete attention meant she saw the instant recognition occurred.

"Hi, darling. I'm here, your mom is here. You're okay, I promise." The change in Regina's tone told everyone in the room that Emma was more responsive. Snow was startled as Emma's hand started to move in a more controlled manner and wondered if Emma was finally communicating with movement.

"Emma?" Snow said and was able to restrain herself from continuing to allow Emma a few seconds to hear her mother and shift her eyes to her. "Hi, sweetheart. It's Mom. Can you feel me squeezing your hand?" Emma blinked yes. More tears falling down her cheeks as she did so. "Can you squeeze it back?" Regina and Snow could tell for the slight scrunching in Emma's brow that she was trying, but Snow's response told Regina that she hadn't felt anything. "That's okay." Snow didn't know what to say next, and Regina picked up on her hesitation and took over.

"Emma?" She patiently waited for Emma to register her voice, process it and sluggishly move her eyes to where Regina was. It was frustrating, even Snow couldn't handle it and had to mentally count to twenty to avoid screaming. Regina, however, never indicated any frustration. "Do you know who I am?" it had taken two days for Regina to be sure but Emma's single blink solidified what she had wanted to know the most. "Now, blink twice for no Emma." When the second blink came in quick succession of the first both Snow and Regina let out an audible sigh.

"Emma. Do you know where you are?"  _No_. "You're in the hospital. There's nothing to be scared of. You're safe. Do you understand?"  _No_. "Okay. You're in the hospital. Does that make sense?"  _No_. Regina stopped asking Emma repetitive questions as she shared a quick glance with Snow before throwing one at Collins.

"Emma. I'm Doctor Collins." He had moved to where Snow had stood and waited for Emma's eyes to find him. "You hit your head so I want you to do a few things for me. Okay?" Emma indicated yes but it was less affirmative than what she had given to Regina. "Okay, I want you to follow my finger as best you can." Collins moved his finger slowly from side to side before moving it up, then down. It was clear Emma wasn't able to follow. Collins, regardless, proceeded with further tests. "Okay, Emma I'm going to hold your hands, squeeze them as tight as you can." Regina watched Emma's left hand. It was evident from the reaction Emma just had to the hair washing that the limb wasn't functional. It hadn't even twitched. Collins gave Emma a lot of time to move her right hand before he finally moved to her feet and asked her to move her toes. Emma didn't move her toes but her right foot did jerk slightly. "That's great Emma." He looked right at Regina. "Keep talking to her." He then turned to the nurses and added. "Okay, we'll need soft restraints and let's check her over for further contusions. It's a real shame, the previous ones had just healed."

"Previous?" Snow enquired, wondering what injuries they were referring to.

"Yes, Emma had many bruises around her knees especially. Probably from the bath," Collins added indifferently.

"You're not putting her in restraints," Regina authoritatively commanded, changing the flow of conversation.

"It's just so Emma doesn't hurt herself, dear. As she wakes up more she's going to try to take out the breathing tube-" Betty interjected.

"I said no. We can discuss this later." She turned her focus back to Emma, who was clearly confused by the rapidity of the conversation that was occurring around her. "Sorry, darling. You're okay." Regina spoke softly to Emma, calming her as her heart rate had begun to climb again as her confusion grew. The full effect of the sedative had begun to take hold though and Emma's eyes began to feel heavy. "We are all here for you. Me, your parents, Henry." Henry's name registered with Emma and her eyes gathered more focus. "He's with your dad, they'll be back a little later." Emma scrunched her face indicating to Regina either she was confused and didn't follow, or she was in pain. Before Regina could even reassure Emma, the blonde's right leg and arm jerked forcefully. Fortunately, Chris had placed pillows between Emma and the railing, so this time she didn't cause herself further injury, but it frightened Snow and Regina. Emma wasn't remembering where she was and her body was moving without direct orders from Emma's brain.

"It's okay, I know this is hard, but it's normal, just keep talking to her dear," Betty reassured Regina, whose eyes had never left Emma.

"Emma do you know where you are?"  _No_. "Do you remember us telling you that you hit your head?"  _No_. Regina was beginning to seriously panic. What if Emma never remembered one moment to the next? Her voice didn't show it, though. She saw Emma was being pulled back into a dreamless sleep. "It's okay. Just close your eyes and sleep, darling. We'll be here when you wake up." Snow wasn't as composed as Regina and decided to just let her talk so she didn't convey her distress. Instead she simply gently stroked Emma's hand. The Savior took a few long blinks before her eyes didn't open, having finally succumbed to fatigue and the drugs circulating through her body.

Regina turned to the staff who were once again updating Emma's chart and discussing orders for the night. Chris had left momentarily and returned with the soft restraints and when Regina's eyes fell on them she reacted immediately.

"I told you, we will never put them on her." Regina's veracity shocked everyone in the room. "I'm not letting that happen."

"You're against restraints?" Snow asked.

"No. She is," Regina replied flatly as she indicated the sleeping blonde.

* * *

**Day Eleven:**

Regina was sitting alone with Emma in the early afternoon. Her wife had continued to improve since the traumatic experience of the day before. Snow and David had gone to spend more time with Neal who was missing his parents, while Henry had remained at home to work on a 'special project' for a few hours. Regina was just working on a Sudoku puzzle as she liked to keep the reading to Emma until they were alone at night with fewer interruptions. She got frustrated at deciphering where the sevens and fives should go and turned to Emma.

"I know it's odd for us to be alone this early in the day. Your mom and dad had to spend time with your brother for a while. They'll be back soon. I actually expected them by now." She decided she would fully give up on her puzzle for a while and focused on her unconscious blonde. Regina was increasingly frustrated with the stop-start nature of her wife's progress and it made it hard for her to concentrate on anything else.

"You're doing a lot better today. You're needing even less oxygen, the doctors think they might be able to remove the tube tomorrow. At least in the next few days. I think that will help you feel a lot better. Even if they can't you're improving, you're starting to breathe with the vent. They didn't reattach the EEG last night either. You're moving a lot more too." As if on cue Emma's hand jerked. "You need to not be so violent darling. You're going to hurt yourself. They have these restraints here ready in case you react like that again. I'm trying to stop them Emma, but I can't let you hurt yourself."

The opening of the door broke Regina from entering a lengthy monologue as Snow had finally arrived back at the hospital.

"How's Neal?" Regina asked.

"He's well. I think he was forgetting who I am. How's my other baby?"

"Same. She hasn't really moved or anything in past few hours."

"I didn't actively think about it, but I had I assumed she had knocked herself out and drowned without knowing much about it. It never occurred to me she tried to fight, that she knew she was drowning," Snow said rather suddenly. The pair hadn't had a chance to discuss everything they had learned the previous afternoon. They had just told the boys that Emma had woken more after feeling the water but hadn't gone into details.

"I know. I had too. Based on her reaction yesterday, she was scared. Emma was scared and alone when she died, and that's my fault."

"She didn't die, Regina. You got to her in time, she's right here."

"Technically she did, and you know what I mean."

"She didn't move her leg as much as I hoped she could," Snow said, diverting the direction of the conversation.

"No, it's worse than I had expected." The silence that covered the pair was broken by Emma's sudden movements. Her eyes opened and she started thrashing frantically. It completely surprised both her wife and her mother. Regina tried to hold Emma's arm down but the blonde moved in unpredictable ways. Emma's hand formed a loose fist and it caught Regina's jaw, causing the woman to lose her balance and completely release Emma's arm. Snow was trying desperately to hold Emma's leg in place, but she too was struggling to hold Emma. The blonde was far stronger than both and it was apparent. As Regina stood a little shocked and dazed, Snow released Emma's leg and went to grab her arm, which had moved in the direction of the tube down her throat. It wasn't coordinated, her hand had curled further, and Emma's attempt landed inches away and ended up smacking herself on the jaw. Snow pulled her daughter's arm down and without hesitation put Emma's wrist on top of the open soft restraints.

"Fasten it, Regina." The former Mayor hesitated and when Emma bashed her leg against the railings once more she finally relented and fastened the soft restraints. Regina's emotions were in such overdrive that she didn't even notice Betty and Chris had done the same to Emma's legs. Regina's vision was clouded with forming tears as she looked directly into Emma's.

"I'm so sorry darling. It's just until you get a little better. I promise it's okay. You're okay, it's not like before." Regina stroked her wife's cheek lovingly as Emma just stared at her.

* * *

"Hey Mom, hi Ma," Henry said with a beat as he entered the ICU. Emma's eyes were open and she followed her son as he placed his backpack on the couch. "How are you feeling Ma?" Henry said as he made his way to the top of her bed. Emma not only tracked him but blinked in reply to his question. "She looks a lot better, Mom." Regina nodded as Henry grabbed Emma's hand. "Restraints huh? Bet you love that?" Henry teased his Ma. Emma blinked twice and squeezed his hand.

Regina had been watching Emma's eyes and felt her heart drop with the second blink. Emma knew what Regina had allowed to happen to her. Henry's nudging of her shoulder drew her attention, to her son's face. He whispered 'look' and lowered his eyes to her hand.

"I love you Ma." Emma gave Henry's hand a weak, but definitive squeeze. "Way to go Ma! This is new right Mom? She hasn't done that before right?"

"Yes." Regina's face lit up and at the progress her wife was making.

"Mom, would you mind if I talked to Ma alone for a minute?"

"Of course not. Just let me know when you're done, I'll go see where Snow has gotten to." Regina kissed her wife and then whispered in Henry's ear. "Remember she's confused, drugged, and tired. Don't push too hard." Henry nodded and settled into the chair his mother just vacated. He waited for Emma to watch Regina go and her eyes to eventually find him.

"I've missed you." Emma responded with a small squeeze. "Mom says she thinks you understand most of what we are saying, you just have trouble remembering." Emma just stared back at him and he now wasn't so sure if she really was following or just knew who he was, but for what he had to say it didn't matter, he would tell her multiple times if he had to. "I want to tell you how sorry I am. That this happened and that I can't fix you. I could have." When Emma just stared at him, Henry hesitated. "Do you remember the author's pen?" Emma looked directly at her son but didn't blink, instead, a tear fell from her left eye. Henry lowered his head unable to look as the tears continued to fall.

"I hope you can forgive me one day. I'll do anything to help you get better Ma, please learn to ask for it." Emma hadn't indicated to Henry she had heard him, let alone understood, her only reaction was the tears that continued to fall. Henry raised his hand and with the pad of his thumb wiped them away.

"How about we watch some TV?" When Emma's thumb moved over the back of his hand he concluded that she too just wanted a normal moment, and nothing was more normal than watching TV.

* * *

"Are you ever going to pick a station, Henry?" Regina asked, growing frustrated. "I'm not sure it's helping Emma if you channel surf."

"I can't decide what I want to watch. And Ma is a pro channel surfer. She won't even watch commercials. I swear sometimes it's like she's watching three shows at once," Henry concluded.

"Well, he's definitely your son then isn't he?" Regina jibed at Emma, who had woken half an hour earlier and was starting to set a personal record of sustained consciousness since her accident. Her parent's had left only minutes earlier and Henry announced that seeing as it was Saturday he would just spend the night if he could watch more TV.

"Argh, there's nothing good on. SNL doesn't start for another couple of hours," Henry dejectedly concluded.

"Go back a few stations," Regina asked decisively, she had felt Emma squeeze her hand and wondered if Emma had wanted to watch something in particular.

As Henry retracted his steps he was told to stop by his mother on baseball. Henry put it all together as his mom stared confused at her wife.

"You want to watch baseball darling?" Emma indicated yes. Regina turned to Henry and added, "Who's even playing?"

"It's the Detroit Tigers and the Washington Nationals. It's not even real baseball, it's Spring Training," Henry announced with a huff as he tossed the remote on the couch.

"I didn't even know you liked baseball," Regina remarked to Emma, whose eyes were now firmly fixed on the screen.

"She's not a super fan or anything. She watched it a lot when she was younger. Now she'll keep track of the scores, and sometimes listen to day games at the station. She never did tell me the reason why she likes the Nats. It's not like she ever lived in Montreal or D.C., that I know of anyway." Regina was more confused and then saddened realizing there was still so much she didn't know about the love of her life. They may not have been married long, and there was bound to be so much she hadn't yet learned, but Regina was confident she knew everything about the blonde's Storybrooke life.

"Actually it makes sense," Henry deduced. "You can know exactly how a game is going from the box score. If Ma is confused, baseball won't add to that. She won't feel lost. Smart decision Ma." After Henry's declaration, Regina moved her chair so she could see the TV better.

"Well in that case, are you going to teach me the rules of baseball?" Regina threw at Henry. He rolled his eyes, grabbing a pen and some paper. He wasn't looking forward to explaining the infield fly rule.

* * *

**Day Twelve:**

"Are you sure she's ready for this? She will be able to breathe?" Regina asked worriedly. She was torn, she so desperately wanted Emma off the ventilator, but was terrified that Emma wouldn't be able to breathe on her own.

"She's breathing over the vent, it's time," Smith assured.

Regina stood alone with Smith and Betty, having told everyone else to leave. She didn't want Henry to see his mother struggle and the Charmings wouldn't react well if their daughter couldn't do this.

"Okay Emma, we're going to turn off the vent now, just breathe as normally as you can, then we'll take the tube out, alright?"

Emma wasn't as conscious as she had been in the past few days. She was blinking yes and no, but to Regina, it seemed like a real struggle for her wife to keep her eyes open. Her trepidation started to ease though as Emma was breathing unaided once the vent was disconnected. Emma, who had been relatively still for most of the morning started to tug at her restraints.

"It's alright darling, they'll take it out in a minute and you'll feel better." Regina was desperate for the medical staff to just get on with it. It had taken the doctor seconds to put the tube in, why did it need such drawn-out preparation to take it out? Betty was suctioning Emma's airway, just had she had done so many times over the past two weeks. Smith unclipped the guard that had been holding the tube in place and deflated the cuff.

"Alright Emma, this is going to be really uncomfortable. I want you to take as deep a breath as you can and then blow out. When you do I'm going to pull the tube out. It might take a few seconds to catch your breath, that's okay, no need to panic. We'll put this mask on and it will give you plenty of oxygen. You with me Emma? Understand what we're doing?" Smith informed and asked his patient.

When Emma blinked no and she shifted her eyes to Regina, searching for clarification. Regina looked at the Smith and Betty to confirm they were ready.

"Okay darling, take as deep a breath as you can for me." Emma complied, it was feeble but it didn't matter. "Now blow out as hard as you can." As she did Smith pulled out the tube, Betty ready with more suction. Emma starting coughing and wheezing frantically.

"You're okay Emma," Regina soothed, trying to get her wife to just take that first breath that would calm her. Instead, Emma panicked more and started thrashing with enough force Regina lost her grip on Emma's hand. When Regina found it, her chest immediately hurt, she found it hard to breathe. She fell to her knees startled by the sudden crushing pain that was overwhelming her. She tasted soap in her mouth as fear and panic took an immediate hold. Regina managed to take a breath and as she did she felt a tingle in her fingers that was unmistakably magic. Light magic. Emma. Regina sent as much comforting feeling back as she could. It got easier to do as Emma herself relaxed; Regina was increasingly able to breathe. Betty came to finally help Regina to her feet and when she stood she saw Emma breathing into a mask, her vitals stabilizing.

"Is she okay?" Regina implored. "I sent her magic to calm her."

"Yes, are you?" Smith asked concerned.

"Yes. I could just feel what she did."

"You two really are incredible," Betty remarked. "I'll bring some ice chips when she's ready you can feed them to her slowly. Her throat is going to hurt a lot. Try to make her not talk for a little while, I know that will be hard."

Regina nodded and stared at Emma whose eyes were closed and looked for the first time in days to be comfortable. She ignored Smith as he examined Emma and made notes in her chart. Betty returned with a cup and after cleaning away all the supplies left the pair alone. Regina finally sat next to her wife, never breaking contact and contemplated what Emma had subconsciously told her and tried to process the emotions it had raised. After twenty minutes of trying to recover from her own ordeal, Regina noticed her phone was buzzing.

**Mom, is everything alright? It's been a long time.**

Regina text back, pausing and deliberating each word. Be honest with him, it was working so far.

_She's fine, doing well. Just needs to rest, it was...traumatic. I could feel what she did. She remembered drowning._

**I'll leave these two here, be there in a minute.**

Regina was grateful when Henry appeared mere seconds later.

"Wow, it's so much quieter without that thing. You look worse than her Mom. What happened?" Henry whispered and he crouched next to Regina.

"I could feel it, Henry. The pain, how scared she was, I could even taste the soap in my mouth. She was confused, she didn't know what was happening." Regina's eyes started to water, she couldn't stand Emma being in pain, any kind of pain.

"Her magic is working again?" Henry brightly asked. "See she's getting so much better!" Henry pulled out his phone, typed something then put it away. "That's incredible, I didn't know you could feel each other's emotions and experiences like that. It sounds pretty intense."

"We can't normally, no more than normal married couples, only when we connect our magic can we share memories or thoughts. We rarely do it. Emma once wanted to know what it was like to ride a horse, so I shared the feeling of riding Rocinante, that's how we discovered it was possible."

"I stand by it, that's intense. So she doesn't have control of it then? There's no way Ma would want you to feel that," Henry concluded.

"You know your mother and her complete lack of control with magic. It's all emotion with her," Regina replied warmly.

"Bet it makes the sex incredible." Regina just glared at her son while he went through the phases of smiling at this cheeky comment to repulsion at realizing what he was referring to. "Please never confirm that," he added quickly.

Regina smiled at her son. Unwittingly Henry had reminded her of the first time she and Emma had sex and the shock they both experienced when magic connected them further. To Regina it explained their insatiable appetite for one another; to Emma, it just confirmed they were always meant to be together.

"Oh god, you're thinking about sex with Ma now aren't you?" Henry remarked at Regina's change of expression. Regina cleared her throat and turned her attention back to her wife.

* * *

Emma's family were growing impatient waiting for her wake. They were desperate to hear Emma talk, for them to have Emma back in their lives in a real way. Regina was the least anxious, she was just pleased her wife was looking more like a person and not a science experiment. Her room was eerily quiet, though; no one wanted to wake up the blonde before she was ready. They knew it would happen soon, she had started to move. Henry, in preparation, had refreshed the ice chips, which had long ago melted.

"How much soothing magic did you give her exactly?" Henry asked impatiently.

"Enough apparently," Regina quipped.

"Well give her less next time, I'm bored," Henry responded as he went back to play on his phone.

It was a low groan that finally announced the Emma was awake. Followed by another, then another. Regina rose and removed the mask from Emma's face and grabbed an ice chip. She slowly used it to trace Emma's lips, hoping the blonde would understand enough to let one fall into her mouth. Emma's eyes groggily met Regina's, it seemed to Regina that she knew she was there but couldn't focus.

"Hi, darling." Emma's lips moved open, then closed, several times until the blonde finally made an unintelligible noise. It wasn't a moan or a cry, it was just noise.

'Your throat must hurt, these ice chips will help, just open your mouth a little bit." Emma stared back at Regina, her eyes looking lost.

Emma felt the coolness of the ice on her lips, which Regina had once again started to move back and forth across her lips. She wanted desperately to say thank you, I love you, but all that came was a mumble. Some of the cool ice water trickled into Emma's mouth and a single drop traveled to her burning throat. Emma made the connection and moved her tongue to get more of the desired coolness. It wasn't coordinated and Regina had to help guide the ice to Emma's tongue and control how much Emma could have before she swallowed so her wife didn't choke. As painful as it was for the married couple, it was just as heartbreaking to watch.

As Emma continued to struggle to ground herself in the moment, David noticed his daughter was drooling half the water down her chin. He grabbed a clean cloth from the cabinet and moved to dry Emma's face.

"All set Ems. You and your brother are a lot alike," David said in his attempt to be comforting with humor. Both Snow and Regina looked at him in horror.

"She's not a child David. She's injured. Don't ever treat her like she is one again," Snow said sternly.

Emma didn't follow the conversation. She was growing tired. She looked into Regina's eyes, which Emma thought looked sad.  _Am I the reason Regina is sad? Am I in the hospital, is that why everything hurts so much?_   _If I just look at Regina it will all be fine. Regina makes everything better. I love you so much._

Regina sat the ice chips down and took the towel from David and finished drying Emma's mouth. She was opening and closing it sporadically. Regina wasn't sure if she was trying to speak until an incomprehensible noise came from Emma. She was sure her wife was staring at her and knew who she was.

"Does your throat feel better darling?" Regina asked, expecting a blinking response, instead, she got more noises back. "Blink for me, Emma. I need to know if that helped." Emma, however, didn't blink back. Instead, her eyes began to close as she was pulled back to the comfort of sleep. Regina reaffixed the oxygen mask and kissed Emma's forehead before she turned to face everyone else. Everyone had red eyes. Emma couldn't talk.

* * *

**Day Thirteen:**

"I was just talking to Jane, Emma is progressing really well in PT," Betty said with a chipper smile. "There's a while yet before the boys arrive, correct?"

"Yes, Henry is at school today," Regina confirmed.

"Well, Emma was keeping clear liquids down well earlier. I'm going to see if she can handle the best food in the place. Jell-O."

"Let me." Regina's tone demonstrated there was no argument available.

"We have this," Snow remarked grabbing the supplies from Betty.

"No worries dear, don't force Emma if she doesn't want it, just push the button if you need anything." Betty quickly checked on her patient before leaving the three women alone.

Emma had been awake for longer periods since the comforting magic had worn off. She frequently made noises even when no one as talking to her and she had woken Regina several times with her apparent frustration and jerking movements. Her breathing was more than stable and after a night on the mask; they had switched her to a nasal cannula that morning. To Regina, Emma basically seemed stoned. She would respond if you talked her, the big difference today was that her head moved with her eyes.

"Alright darling, I'm just going to raise your bed so you're sitting up," Regina said as she pushed the bed buttons and stood by Emma's right side. Snow was already prepared with extra pillows as she stood by Emma's left. Emma's eyes just gazed at Regina. "It's time to eat. You love food so this should be easy. Once you've got this mastered, we can take that tube out from your nose, won't that be great?"

"Is she alert enough to do this?" Snow asked quietly enough so Emma couldn't hear.

"Emma, I need you to focus a little bit for a few minutes okay." The resulting mumble indicated Emma was following and she tried to move her hand which Snow tightly gripped. Regina grabbed the pot of red Jell-O and the plastic spoon Betty had brought as well as clean towels that she handed to Snow. She lowered the railing and for the first time sat next to Emma. Externally you would never know that Regina was struggling to contain her emotions. She was composed and focused on what she needed to do.

As Snow placed a towel over Emma's front and readied the second one to wipe the food Emma was undoubtedly about to spill. Regina opened the cup and placed a tiny amount on a spoon and raised it to Emma's lips.

"Okay open up your mouth darling. It's strawberry, you like strawberry." Emma blinked at Regina and opened her mouth slightly. Regina guided the spoon expertly into her wife's mouth, but Emma didn't close her mouth or use her tongue to accept the Jell-O, she just stared into her wife's eyes. "Good, now close your mouth, Emma." The blonde did so, creating a seal around the spoon with her lips. Regina removed the spoon leaving a minuscule amount of Jell-O behind. "Okay now swallow it, just like you did with water this morning." Snow and Regina watched Emma take agonizing seconds to understand and finally swallow the first mouthful.

They got through three more spoonfuls before the tears began to fall from Regina's eyes. Emma's eyes reacted to the sight and had changed to convey that they were filled with sadness.

"Snow, can you please take over?" Regina said standing, facing the wall in an attempt to not let her wife see her distress. Snow moved to where Regina had been sitting and slowly fed her daughter. Snow could hear Regina's sobs subside, the cessation of which seemed calmed Emma. She had been staring at her wife the entire time Snow had fed her. Regina wiped her tears and moved to hold Emma's right hand.

"Sorry, darling. You're doing great. I'm just tired." Emma's hand nudged up in the restraint and she started to mumble incoherently forcing the Jell-O Snow had just placed in her mouth to expel, while Emma started to choke on what was left. Snow propped Emma upright and patted her back until her daughter regained control of her breathing. Throughout the entire ordeal, Emma continued to move her hand up and down, trying to get closer to Regina.

Slowly Regina loosened the restraint, ready at any moment to overpower her wife and reaffix them. Emma was uncoordinated and despite aiming for Regina's face and her hand ended up connecting with air and dropping onto Regina's shoulder. Emma's face scrunched and grunted and she repeated the action with the same effect. Regina grabbed Emma's hand.

"Pay attention to your mom Emma." When Emma tried to raise their joined hands Regina guided them upwards and kissed the blondes knuckles. Emma manipulated her hand so that her palm was finally against Regina's face. She moved her thumb over Regina's cheek as if she was wiping away the tears that had already dried.

"Have you had enough, for now, Emma?" Snow asked as she could tell Regina was about to break again. Emma turned to look at her mom and gave her a definitive single blink. "Alright, sweetheart." Snow grabbed the water cup, complete with a straw and guided it into Emma's mouth. "Just drink a sip." Emma's actions were slow, as though it took her several attempts to process her mother's words. After a small successful sip of water Snow could see Emma's eyes were growing heavier. "Time for sleep I think. We'll be here when you wake up." Snow said as she lowered Emma's bed down a little. Regina released her wife's hand and removed the extra pillows. Emma didn't need any convincing. She was asleep in seconds.

Once Snow was sure Emma was asleep she faced Regina.

"Are you okay?"

"No, not especially." Snow nodded, it wasn't a necessary question.

"I've dreamt of this. Raising Emma. I feel like this is some sort of ironic torture."

Both women reflected on each other's pain, unable to verbalize a response worthy of breaking the silence.

* * *

The moment Regina had been waiting for for several days finally came that night. They were all settled in Emma's room after dinner, the television tuned to baseball even though Emma was sound asleep. They had removed the foot restraints now Emma seemed calmer and the blonde had started adjusting herself to a more comfortable position as she slept. This evening she was lying fully on her right side and the nurses had helped her balance with the placement of a few pillows. Regina was working on a Sudoku, Henry was stretched out on the couch reading a comic, Snow sat silently stroking Emma's hand, while David worked on some paperwork for the station.

Snow was the one who noticed Emma was waking first as her fingers fluttered, her eyes following a few minutes later.

"Hi," Snow said with a bright wide smile. "Didn't think you'd wake up again tonight." Emma looked back at her mother in complete confusion.  _Where the hell am I?_  Emma tried to ask. All the room heard was a confused jumble of sounds. Snow grabbed Emma's hand tightly and immediately she tried to comfort her daughter in reply. Emma's rapidly increasing heart rate alerted Regina that something was wrong.

"You're okay, Emma," Snow tried to reassure, but Emma's eyes were wide and terrified. Emma moved her right arm fast enough that she broke contact with her mother's hand with ease, trying to bring it to her throbbing head. Emma completely missed her target and forcefully hit herself above the left eye, producing a yelp from the blonde.

Emma was beyond confused. She didn't know where she was or why. Why had she just smacked herself on the head? Her head was pounding, she could hear voices, even though they were loud, Emma drowned them out with her own thoughts. Emma hadn't realized she had closed her eyes after bashing herself and didn't like that her hand was being gripped and pulled away from her. She let out a loud cry that prompted whoever was holding her hand to release it. She pulled her hand back towards her face, but this time it hit her left shoulder before settling by her ear. More pain became apparent to Emma, her chest seemed to hurt as much as her head, she felt as though it was too painful to even breathe.

To relieve the pain she was feeling Emma tried to roll onto her back, so she could expand her lungs better. She was also overheating and desperately wanted to remove the blanket that was draped over her. As she went to move she felt her body resist her, she couldn't get the momentum to turn. Emma was mumbling frantically alerting everyone to her distress. All they saw was Emma, eyes closed, rocking back and forth, incoherent noises increasing in volume and frequency, as curled into herself as she could be. Snow and Regina were trying to comfort her, ground and calm the blonde. Emma, however, couldn't hear. Emma tried to raise her left arm to finally relieve some of the pressure on her chest. It didn't move, she tried again. Same result. Emma's eyes flew open as she stopped mumbling and looked directly at her arm. It was obvious to everyone what had just registered in Emma's brain.

The four stood in silence, not sure how to help Emma before they knew how she would react. Each watched as Emma moved her right hand from her face towards the left. She missed her arm entirely and after two attempts David finally slowly lifted his daughter's arm onto her other. Emma couldn't feel it. She rolled her hand lower and higher along the limb, without any sensation being sent back to her brain. She successfully lifted her right arm from the elbow and lowered it as hard as she could into the left. She felt pain in her right hand only. Emma left out a wail that sounded like an anguished cry. Tears were already falling from her eyes as they drifted downwards towards her leg. She tried to lift it but couldn't. She was able to shift it slightly to the right. She moved her right leg as close to the edge of the bed as possible and mirrored the action she just did with her upper body. The contact of her right heel connecting with her left shin caused pain to reverberate throughout her body, which Emma could only convey with an elongated shriek. Once the shock of the pain subsided, Emma's mind shifted back to her left arm. It was a dead limb.  _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Regina had seen enough, she had let Emma work it out on her own, but her wife was suffering in every single way. She told David to get a doctor to give Emma something as she kicked off her shoes and climbed into the bed next to Emma, avoiding dislodging any medical equipment. She nuzzled next to Emma's ear, soothing the blonde as best she could as she brought Emma close to her and intertwined their fingers. Regina tried to send Emma soothing magic as she had done before but her wife wasn't accepting. It didn't help. Emma's wails continued, growing stronger and increasing in devastating anguish. Regina was telling her she was in the hospital, that she was getting better, that it would all be okay. Emma was in too much pain to understand.

As the sedatives took effect, Emma fell asleep not realizing Regina was holding her, that she wasn't alone, all she knew was that she was broken.

* * *

**Day Fourteen:**

When Emma awoke that morning, she was still cradled in Regina's arms. She forgot where she was and turned to face her wife, breathing in as much of the brunette as she could. Regina was already wide awake wondering how many times they would have to go through the night before, how she could make the process of realization easier each time Emma had to live through it. As Emma turned, as best she could, Regina too was lost in the moment. The way they both looked at each other they could easily have been any morning in their own bed.

"How are you feeling darling?" Regina asked with a smile on her face. It took Emma a while to wake up, and when Regina repeated the question Emma finally gave a mumbled response. Regina noticed Emma's frown, as though for the first time she heard what she had said and it bore no resemblance to what she had intended.

"Do you know where you are today?" Regina asked before Emma could have a chance to ruminate on her previous response. Emma paused and turned her head so she could take in her surroundings. She was in the hospital. It was then she realized there was oxygen flowing into her nostrils, and her head was pounding. Regina felt the instant Emma processed her body wasn't working.

"It's okay, you're going to be okay. I promise Emma." It seemed to Regina that Emma had nodded and increased the pressure she had on their intertwined hands. Emma didn't scream or kick or show any frustration. She just relaxed. Regina heard Emma mumble words as she tried to ask what happened to her and then tell Regina she was in pain, but Regina didn't need English to understand.

"You hit your head on the bath tub. You're recovering. it's just taking time. Maggie will be in with more pain meds really soon. Can you wait 'til then or do you need them now?" Regina had raised herself and was now able to look at Emma directly. As Emma's eyes scrunched further Regina didn't wait for a reply and hit that call button. As Emma lay feeling the comfort of Regina's body she had tried to make sense of the thoughts and memories running through her brain.  _Regina bringing her coffee. Henry driving the bug. Regina in a Halloween costume holding a beating heart? Her baby brother crying. Regina holding her in bed._  But one thought was more persistent than all the others.  _I drowned._

* * *

"She's still sleeping?" David asked as he returned after going on a quick patrol.

"Yeah, Jane said she was really tired after PT earlier. I think she's exhausted," Snow replied as David sat next to her.

"And how is my beautiful wife?" David asked as he moved to share an embrace.

"Honestly? Tired. I don't know how Regina has the strength for this. If this were you, David, I wouldn't cope."

"Yes, you would. Love conquers all, even brain damage," David said with a wry smile. Snow softly giggled back, appreciating the sentiment and the joke. She leaned into the nook of her husband's neck, seeking comfort from the only person who could feel the exact pain she was.

Their tranquil moment was ended abruptly by a loud moan from Emma that quickly turned into the blonde kicking and screaming. She thrashed her leg forcefully into the railing, just as she had days before. David held Emma's leg and Snow tried to hold her daughter's arm. The alarms for the monitors that were tracking Emma's vitals were already sounding. Emma was in severe distress.

Chris appeared and applied the restraints to Emma's legs before helping David secure Emma's right arm. Snow was desperately trying to calm Emma, her breathing was rapid, shallow. She was screaming with every lung full of air she took. Snow finally got Emma to make eye contact with her, but Emma's eyes weren't warmed. Emma was evidently becoming increasingly exhausted and her cries turned into broken mumbles. Chris prepared the medication as Snow and David both heard her daughter unmistakably say "Regina." It may have been slurred and lacking diction, but Emma's request was clear. Snow grabbed her phone while David locked eyes with his baby girl. The phone only had to ring three times before Regina materialized, wet hair and all, at the end of Emma's bed.

Regina didn't even need to ask, she just rapidly moved into Emma's eye line. Emma tried to reach for her but was limited by her restraints, prompting the blonde to cry in her exhausted state. She just wanted her wife, she just wanted to feel the brunette. As soon as Regina grasped Emma's had in her own Emma started to control her breathing, helped by the oxygen mask Chris had placed.

"What happened?" Regina asked while never breaking eye or physical contact with Emma.

"Nothing. One minute she was sleeping the next she was having something like a panic attack. She asked for you," Snow breathlessly replied.

"She asked for me? As in talked?" Regina asked, turning to look at Snow, making sure she heard her correctly.

"Yes," David replied.

Regina had turned back to Emma, who was breathing better with every passing breath. Chris had pushed the anti-anxiety meds and it was clear they were working.

"Feel better?" Regina asked. Emma nodded but then shook her head. "Pain?" A strong nod and Emma tried as hard as possible to indicate the pain was in her head. Regina turned to the full complement of staff who were now in the Savior's room.

"Why are you all so incompetent that you can't control her pain? Who needs to be fired so the rest of you will do your jobs appropriately?" Regina said with so much authority, it didn't matter that she was technically no longer the Mayor.

Regina turned back to Emma who was calm, but clearly in agony. "I'm sorry I wasn't here and they weren't looking after you properly. I'm here now. I'll always be here when you need me." Regina knew when the painkillers started to help, Emma didn't fall asleep, but her grip on Regina relaxed and her eyes told Regina that she was okay. Regina found a chair and settled as close to Emma as she could get. She removed the restraint from Emma's hand so she could pull it towards her own face. Emma's fingers moved against Regina's dripping hair.

"I know I'm a mess. In public. See the things I'll do for you?" It was hard to see under the oxygen mask, but Regina was positive her wife smiled at her. That was worth having wet, unbrushed hair in public for the rest of their lives.

* * *

The rest of Emma's day progressed without incident. She had been asleep for hours and wasn't aware when her family had left for the night. She had finally fallen asleep as her family read Harry Potter, each taking on different parts, doing the voices, attempting British accents. It was relatively early, but Regina was struggling to stay awake herself. Her wife had talked. She was remembering. She was getting better and that's all that mattered. As she started to drift to sleep, she heard Emma's voice. Regina thought she was dreaming as when she looked at Emma the blonde appeared to still be sleeping soundly. Then she heard it again, it was unmistakably Emma.

" _I'm cold,_ " The blonde articulated. Except Emma hadn't moved.

"Emma?" Regina asked, confused as to how she was hearing her wife's voice.

" _Hmm?_ " Emma sleepily replied.

"You're cold?" Regina asked, finally realizing Emma was accessing her magic, Regina left her 'channel' open at all times and was part of the reason she was so fatigued.

" _Yeah, kinda_." Regina grabbed a fresh blanket from the warmer in the hall and covered her slumbering wife. " _Thank you_ ," Emma replied as soon as Regina re-engaged their link.

"Emma, where are you?" Regina had to know how Emma's memory was functioning.

" _Hospital. I drowned. You don't need to tell me. I remember._ " Emma's voice was defensive and dismissive, showing Regina she didn't want to discuss her disabilities.

"Are you in pain darling?" Regina didn't think Emma was based on her tone, but this was a magical conversation, she couldn't be sure what she could mask.

" _Not much, I'm okay._ "

"What's wrong Emma?" Regina sensed hesitation in Emma's voice.

" _Are we married?_ " Emma asked as she finally looked into Regina's eyes.

Regina had to take a deep breath and tried to hide the pain Emma had just caused before she finally answered. "Yes, two years ago we got married. You don't remember?"

" _It's all muddled. I keep remembering you as a serial killer in ridiculous outfits. Then us in bed. I don't get how it all fits together. I love you. I feel safe with you. I just don't know why._ "


	9. 21 Days: Part Three

**Day Fifteen:**

"Mom? Are you okay?" Henry asked with trepidation. His mother hadn't answered his earlier texts and had now arrived late for their breakfast date. She didn't look like she had slept at all. He was positive she had been crying.

"Is Ma okay? Henry asked assuming that something at the hospital had been the cause of her distress.

"Yes Henry, she's fine. I'm fine. Why are you dressed so early?"

"It's eight-thirty Mom." He paused giving his mother a chance to engage in the conversation properly. "Talk to me," he added, once she showed no sign that she would.

Henry's answer, question, and worried expression had no effect on Regina. She went about the daily task of preparing breakfast mindlessly. It wasn't until she placed their plates on the breakfast bar that she noticed Henry hadn't set the cutlery or poured the orange juice.

"Aren't you hungry?" Regina inquired.

"Are you going to talk to me?" Henry had learned to be forceful with his adoptive mother. She historically wasn't one to share her emotions, though she had softened since Emma had entered their lives.

"I told you everything is fine. Now eat your breakfast," Regina volleyed back. Henry stood, arms crossed, a single eyebrow raised. He was definitely his mother's son.

"Try again," Henry said powerfully.

Regina heavily sighed as she realized Henry would not relent. "I talked to Emma, sort of, via magic. She let me hear what she wants to say. She doesn't remember that we're married and she thinks of me as the Evil Queen."

"No she doesn't," Henry replied without a beat. "And that's amazing that her magic is getting better. How did she sound? Confused?" Henry was desperate for facts about his Ma's cognitive abilities and wasn't particularly interested in the absurd conclusions his mother had made.

"She does Henry. She remembers me as a 'serial killer in funny costumes'," Regina said sadly. She had not expected Henry to burst out laughing at her revelation.

"That's so Ma," Henry confirmed. "And she does have a point, those Evil Queen outfits were ridiculous."

"They were intimidating," Regina defended.

"Didn't know cleavage was required to achieve that," Henry shot back. His mother's look implied the Evil Queen might be resurfacing at his comment, so he changed tactics quickly. "But seriously, Ma doesn't see you that way. She was just confused."

"She said it was all muddled in her head, but it's what she said. She wasn't sure she was my wife, Henry."

"It doesn't matter Mom. Think about it, this whole past week, it's been you that she has responded to. She's said exactly one word, and she used it to ask for you. I think it's clear Ma loves and needs you."

"She did say she loves me, she just doesn't remember why," Regina confessed. "But what if she can't remember who we are to each other?"

"Okay, how about we sit down, eat, and you actually tell me what you and Ma talked about? As close to an actual recital as possible, so you can't confuse and reshape facts." Regina nodded and sat next to her son. They talked throughout breakfast and Henry made her see that Emma's brain was just struggling to organize her memories and she needed time. See the positives; she was forming cohesive thoughts and she figured out how to use magic to talk to her.

"It's weird though that she remembers the Evil Queen so well, she only what? Met her that one time when she went through the portal right? She's hardly even read the book to see the pictures," Henry absently thought aloud as he started clearing the dishes.

"It must have been memorable I suppose," Regina commented, trying not to reveal that Emma had, in fact, met the Evil Queen, many, many times.

"Oh, I'm sure. Glad I've never met her." Henry's throw away comment warmed Regina. Henry honestly didn't associate his mother with the fairy tale character in the book any longer. He had let that go a long, long time ago.

* * *

Regina was both eagerly anticipating and equally anxious at finally being alone with her wife again, desperate to know how well her memory was improving and organizing. Regina had to know if Emma, like Henry, could remember to leave the Evil Queen behind. It was already well past midnight when Regina finally rose, stretched her tense, aching muscles before repositioning Emma's blankets that had slightly shifted as Emma had fought against her restraints earlier. She noted the coolness of the blanket that lay on the blonde's feet and substituted it with a fresh warm one from the incubator. She even grabbed one for herself. Emma seemed peaceful and talking to Emma looked less likely as the clock ticked towards morning. Regina left her hand close to Emma's delicate fingers as she finally surrendered and settled in for a few hours sleep.

What woke Regina was Emma's garbled cries as she simultaneously felt Emma's entire body shift towards her hand. When Regina looked at Emma, her eyes were closed, but crinkled. She knew instantly that her wife was reliving an unpleasant memory. She had seen this many times when Emma went to bed stressed. Instinctively she grabbed Emma's hand in her right and used her left to stroke her blonde hair while whispering reassuring words into her wife's ear. The dream hadn't progressed to stress the blonde out sufficiently to alert the nursing personnel, and Regina hoped her wife could be soothed without waking. The comfort Regina provided combined to deliver the desired effect and once Regina was satisfied the worst had passed she returned to her seat but didn't relinquish Emma's hand. Instead, she lightly moved her thumb back and forth over the back of Emma's lower wrist, relaxing both women.

" _That feels nice._ " Regina heard, producing a broad smile that reached the brunette's eyes.

"Hi, darling. It's all okay now; it was just a dream."

" _Hmm yeah, time travel isn't a real thing._ " Regina was glad she wasn't sharing her thoughts, as she would have expressively corrected her already disorientated wife.

"Do you need anything? Blanket? Water? Pain meds?" Regina deliberately waited a few seconds between each suggestion so Emma could keep up. Emma groggily opened her eyes and seemed alarmed.

" _Where am I_?" Emma asked, though Regina heard both the mumbles that represented Emma's attempts to speak and her thought speech.

"Emma, you're okay. You're in the hospital," Regina comfortingly supplied. She thought Emma had learned this new memory. She hadn't seemed confused by her predicament during the day. Regina hoped that it was just a symptom of her brain turning on after sleep. It would help explain why Emma was not a morning person.

 _"I'm sick?_ " Emma thought as she lazily moved her eyes to take in the room.

"You are, but you're getting better." Regina continued to stroke her hand as she watched Emma fight the obvious confusion she was feeling. If Emma's eyes hadn't been open, Regina would have assumed that her wife had fallen back asleep as the length of the silence grew. Regina wished their magic was connected deeper so she could hear Emma's thoughts; so she could understand what Emma was trying to process. Regina tried to deepen the connection to do so, but Emma wouldn't let her and Regina couldn't hear.

 _"Are you going to hurt me?_ " Emma's mumbles and thought speech conveyed, while her eyes suddenly made contact with Regina's and it was unmistakable that they displayed fear.

"Of course not, Emma. Remember that I love you." Regina was longing for that realization to hit Emma as it had the night before.

 _"You kill people._ " Before Regina could even respond Emma added, " _Why aren't you in jail?"_

"It's complicated Emma, but I'm not that person anymore. I haven't hurt anyone in a really long time."

_"So you are a murderer?"_

"Yes," Regina answered quietly, finally admitting that her crimes were heinous, and she should be living out her days in this land incarcerated. Emma was expressing all the things she feared her wife would eventually realize long before her brain cells died.

 _"Why am I married to a murderer?_ _"_  The tone of Emma's thought alerted Regina out of her own depression cascade to become fully aware Emma was suffering one of her own. Even her discombobulated mumbles expressed her emotional pain.

"You're not, Emma. That person isn't me. It's hard to explain, but that was a past life. You're married to Regina, not the Evil Queen." It was no longer clear who Regina was trying to convince.

 _"_ _We're married?_ _"_  Emma asked as a flicker of realization hit her after hearing the word 'Regina', but her tone conveyed she was searching for truth.

"Yes, we got married two years ago," Regina confirmed, but it had the opposite effect than hoped. Emma seemed more confused as the conversation progressed.

_"_ _We're married?_ _"_

"We don't have to be if you prefer we weren't. I would like to be here for you though, while you recover. I want to make sure you're okay, because I love you."

 _"_ _Then there was a wedding? That's why you were wearing a long white dress in the woods?_ _"_  Emma asked, her eyes indicating she was struggling to remember.

"Yes. It was a small wedding, in terms of people anyway. We had it near Peace Point. You wanted to see the whole town when we said our vows, and it was the perfect place." It was apparent that Emma was remembering everything Regina was expressing as she seemed to calm considerably with each new fact.

 _"_ _I didn't know what I didn't have 'til I met you,_ _"_  Emma distantly recounted.

"That was part of what you said to me," Regina sighed in relief.

 _"_ _I was happy. I wish I could see it more clearly,_ _"_  Emma thought absentmindedly. She wasn't really paying attention to her wife anymore, she was lost in her own brain, piecing together the images of her recent life.

"I can show you. Well, what I saw." Emma's perplexed glare prompted Regina to clarify. "Magic dear. With magic. Just relax and allow my magic to mix with yours more."

 _"_ _Magic?_ _"_  Emma asked, now even more bewildered.

"Just relax." Regina focused, first on Emma's magic and then on her own, coaxing the blonde to let her own magic to allow this greater intrusion into her mind. The warmth of Regina's magic relaxed Emma, closing her eyes in response to the effect.

* * *

Emma's mind was transported to the open space near the cliff edge. She saw Henry dressed in a fitted black suit, complete with a royal purple tie and a white rose affixed to his lapel. They were on the porch of what had been the country club during the curse, incorporating a golf course, stables, and fine dining. It had now become an homage of sorts to the Enchanted Forest at the Mayor's request, with wooded trails, jousting, and sword fighting arenas, an archery course, smoke pits and a miniature replica of Snow's castle that, while picturesque, was also an elaborate playground. Emma had insisted they got married there; it was the perfect place to mix both of their backgrounds. More importantly, it was a place where they each felt like royalty, both figuratively and literally.

"You have the rings?" Regina asked apprehensively.

"Yes Mom, just like the last twenty-seven times you asked me. See? They are right here." Regina would relax for several seconds every time he popped open the purple velvet box to show the glistening silver-colored rings, complete with a single fine black band running through them. Emma had been defiant that the rings were titanium. To her, it represented the strength and longevity of the commitment they were about to make. Regina had wanted gold but relented easily when she saw and heard the passion Emma was displaying over such a detail. The black band within them had been a compromise. Regina had suggested twisted metal, literally fusing their light and dark. Emma refused, Regina wasn't dark anymore; a small delicate strip of black metal would represent the darkness that is in each of us, whether you are a hero or a villain. The matter was settled when Regina chose the engraving, 'That light inside of me is you'.

"Good, good. I want this to be perfect. It has to be perfect," Regina stated as she fixed the rose on Henry's jacket so the beauty of the flower could be fully appreciated.

"You realize that it doesn't matter to Ma right? She would be happy if we did this in the kitchen."

"I'm not marrying your mother in a manner that would be fitting for paying the phone bill," Regina retorted as turned and looked out over the vista.

The guests had gathered, each adorning outfits suitable for a traditional royal wedding. Her eyes focused to the rolling hill to the left. It was filled with onlookers, some with binoculars and some with long-range cameras. No matter how small Emma had wanted the wedding to be, it was a royal wedding. Even though neither would admit it, the Evil Queen marrying the Savior was the town's happy ending too. The wrath that had raged inside Regina had been quelled, and if it ever resurfaced, her wife would be right there to save them all.

"They're not playing the correct piece," Regina remarked as she heard the orchestral music that was being pumped into the open space.

"That's because according to your schedule, you should be at the alter by now. They're filling in the dead time," Henry gibed.

"She is here? You've seen her? She will walk down that aisle?" Regina fired frantically.

"Yes, Mom. Ma is here, hair, make-up, dressed. The works. But she can't come down the aisle until you do." Henry was enjoying his mother's vulnerable side. "So shall we?" Henry took his mother's hand and led her towards their gathered family and friends.

"You do have the rings?"

"Actually no. In the last two minutes I was upheld by ogres and had to trade them in for safe passage." Henry had to roll his eyes. His mother was being ridiculous.

As Regina walked down the aisle, Henry by her side, she was surprised that all the guests stood for her and heard several people remark how beautiful she was, how they loved the white dress with the purple detail. Emma was the only one who would be in pure white today. As Regina approached the arch that the Blue Fairy was standing under, her eyes met Snow's. Tears and a warm smile met her. In this moment Snow was giving her blessing, if not full acceptance.

Regina turned, fidgeted with her flowers, and tried to control her breathing and composure as she waited for Emma to appear. Her arrival was signaled by the regal call of trumpets and Regina's heart relaxed and filled with joy never yet experienced. Emma was beautiful, she was smiling, she didn't seem like she had ever considered running. Her eyes and the beads on her dress sparkled in the early afternoon sun. She walked gracefully towards Regina, perfectly balanced with David at her side. He was dressed in his full prince attire. The entire moment delivered Emma as the princess she had always been. By the time Emma was given away, Regina was forcing back the tears. This was really happening.

"Thought I'd run, huh?" Emma remarked and the two stood side by side.

"Perhaps," Regina confessed.

"Not today, my queen. Not today."

* * *

Regina was shocked when their magical connection ended abruptly. She was even more concerned when she was brought back to the present to hear the alarms of the medical equipment shrieking into the midnight air. When she opened her eyes, she saw Emma's eyes staring blankly at her, her forehead was crinkled demonstrating severe pain, her nose bleeding profusely, her hand limp in her own. She didn't even get time to call for a nurse or ask Emma if she was okay before Maggie rapidly arrived, pushing a crash cart with her.

Maggie quickly supplied Emma with an oxygen mask as the blonde's levels plummeted, while her heart rate had increased dramatically. Immediately, Maggie started to prepare drugs to control Emma's condition as Whale hurriedly entered the room.

"Hypertensive crisis. BP is up to 210/140. Sats down to 87%, heart rate 122. Drawing 20 of labetalol now." Maggie clinically declared.

Whale moved to the crash cart and gathered an ambu bag and started breathing for Emma, whose oxygen levels continued to drop further now she was barely making an effort to breathe on her own. Her heart was responding to the lack of oxygen by throwing PVCs.

"Pushing the 20 over two minutes," Maggie declared. "Want an intubation kit?"

"Not yet, let's see if we can bag her through this." More staff arrived and Whale ordered blood work and additional medications to stabilize his patient. Regina stood, completely shocked at what was happening, she had just been talking to Emma and now she was struggling to breathe.

"BP's down to 170/110," Whale stated, taking a deep breath himself, only a few minutes later. He turned to Regina. "She stable for now. She'll be okay, I promise. We will see what the results say as to the cause and we will treat the underlying condition," he said reassuringly to the terrified wife as he continued to bag Emma himself, a task he could easily have surrendered.

"That's not necessary. It was magic," Regina confessed. "We were talking using magic."

Whale had to force himself from screaming at his former boss. "Emma is in the ICU for a reason," he seethed.

"I know. Is she going to be okay? Did this do any permanent damage?" Regina didn't need the guilt trip, as always she just wanted to know if Emma was going to heal.

"Doubtful." Whale said losing a sense of compassion in his voice. He switched Emma back to the mask and watched her monitors to be sure she was breathing sufficiently on her own. It was a long painful silent thirty seconds before Whale seemed satisfied. He turned to Maggie. "Obs every 10 minutes for the next hour. Once her sats are up to 94%, add 20 more of fentanyl to her IV for the headache she is about to have."

As he made his way out of the room Whale turned to Regina. "I'm sure I don't need to say it-."

"No more magic," Regina said weakly, as if she were a school child being lectured in front of the class.

"You almost killed her. I'm not exaggerating. She was seconds away from a stroke or a heart attack. Let her rest and recover. You can't talk to her, with magic or otherwise if she's dead."

Regina crumpled into her seat and grabbed Emma's hand. She watched as Maggie infused more medication into a new IV bag and connecting it before grabbing a wet towel to remove the blood from Emma's face. Her nose had bled so profusely her pillow, hair, and gown were covered in it.

"Please let me." Regina motioned for the cloth, Maggie nodded. She wasn't as angered by Regina's actions as Whale had been. Then again, Maggie hadn't had to resuscitate the blonde on two occasions. She understood the need Regina would have.

"Did you get to talk to her, before… it was all too much?" Regina nodded. "Emma seems to understand, is that accurate?" Regina nodded once more and appreciated that Maggie was trying to solicit information so she could help her patient. "How is her memory?"

"Patchy. She gets events confused. Yesterday she remembered she drowned, but today she didn't."

"You talked yesterday?" Maggie asked, surprised.

"For a few minutes," Regina supplied sheepishly as she removed Emma's oxygen briefly to clean the blood.

"Well, when Emma is stronger you can try again, a little at a time. Just make sure we are here so we can tell you when to stop. When she's had enough," she added to clarify. "I'll be back in a minute," Maggie concluded as she took with her the vials of blood she had just drawn.

Regina was briefly alone with her wife once more, astonished at her own inability to keep the ones she loved safe.

"I'm so sorry Emma. I'll never learn, will I? My magic only brings pain. And you always hurt the ones you love the most."

* * *

**Day Sixteen:**

"Okay, from what you've told us, it sounds like it wasn't your fault. It seems to take two to transfer memories, which by the way, I'm jealous of," David reasoned.

Regina had asked everyone to come to the hospital that morning and they were back in the dreaded small room of depressing news and despair. Regina had asked Whale to join them after a few minutes alone to explain what had medically happened and give his opinion on whether Emma's health was further damaged.

"If it helped Emma remember or sort out the pieces of the puzzle, it was maybe worth it," David added, filling the silence Snow, Henry and Regina seemed comfortable ignoring.

"Nothing that brings Emma pain or harm is ever worth it," Regina defiantly assured.

It was like Snow was in her own world, processing this new information at her own pace. Such was her silence that it startled everyone when she finally spoke.

"What's matters is that she is okay. Whale said her labs are almost back to where they were already. So let's just take it as a lesson. She's not ready for prolonged bouts of memory magic." Snow was clearly ending this discussion for the time being.

"We will sit with Emma, you can go to school and you should go home to get some much-needed sleep. I'll let you know when Emma wakes up. She will want to see you both, even if she can't remember exactly why," David added, knowing that all Snow would want currently was some alone time with Emma.

To Henry's surprise, his mother agreed to his grandparent's wishes without argument.

* * *

"So can I drive to school?" Henry asked brightly. He was doing his best to avoid an actual conversation, keeping everything normal.

"Yes. I already feel like this is your car," Regina said sadly, as she opened the passenger's seat. Henry took a deep breath to steady himself before taking his now rightful role behind the wheel. He watched as his mother pulled on her seatbelt and stared absently out the window. Henry concluded that even though neither wanted to talk about it, it was needed. His mom was suffering.

"Could you sense that Ma remembered?" Henry finally asked after he contemplated his words during an agonizing silence that Regina had been unaware of.

"Yes. I sensed that she got happier as the memory progressed. I thought it was working, it was helping Emma remember the order of events," Regina admitted.

"You realize that it wasn't your magic that did this right? It was Ma using hers too much?" When Regina turned to face Henry she had nothing but a bewildered look on her face. "How much magic have you, 'infused' into Ma in the past two weeks? Enough, at least, to make you pass out that one time. So it wasn't your magic that hurt Ma, it was using hers."

"I made her use more than she was ready for. I pushed too hard because I am selfish."

"I'd agree if you went and did the same thing again. But you didn't know, so blaming yourself is just a waste of time. Ma wants to use her magic, you not using yours isn't going to stop that. It's helpful you can talk to her. Otherwise, we wouldn't know that Ma is still Ma."

"Your mother will never be the person she was before this Henry." Regina's words were harsh and it stung Henry. Pessimism always won in his mother's mind.

"Maybe not exactly the same, no. But at least she can tell us if she's cold. That's useful, because that we can fix," Henry concluded. He did give his mother a chance for a rebuttal, but it never came. He turned the key in the ignition and the pair drove to school in complete silence, each thinking about the Emma they would get to bring home.

* * *

Henry wasn't sure when he arrived home if his mom was there or not. He knew she wasn't at the hospital as he had texted back and forth with his grandparents all day to know if his Ma was awake yet. He had been told that she had woken a few times, but only for a couple of minutes. He placed his backpack on the stool by the counter as he headed straight to the fridge for his post-school sandwich.

As he strolled up the stairs to his room with his plate-less snack he heard his mother in her bedroom. She seemed to be walking around a lot. He had hoped she was asleep. He knocked on the ajar door while mumbling "Mom?" through a mouthful of bread. The door was immediately pulled open with enough force it caused a gust of wind to ruffle Henry's hair.

"Whatcha doin'?" Henry asked as he took in the photo albums that were strewn across their bed which were next to Emma's red jacket, her baby blanket and the two pendants she always wore.

"I'm organizing things to take to the hospital to help your mother remember without magic. And please speak properly, I raised you better than that," Regina answered as if her actions were obvious. "I cleaned everything so hopefully Betty will let me bring them in. I got this new album with transparent sheets on each page so it can be disinfected easily."

Henry moved to sit on the bed, crumbs falling to the floor with each bite.

"Is using a plate beyond your capabilities?" Regina remarked with a growing frown.

"No, there are just more important things to worry about than crumbs," Henry responded as he took the newly organized album in his hands and started to flick through it. It was a near complete succinct biography of Emma's time in Storybrooke. Regina included her 'spying' photographs of Henry and Emma sitting in his castle, pictures of Emma and Graham, and Emma on a stakeout. As he turned the pages, Emma's smile seemed to grow. A birthday, complete with silly hats and candles, Emma hugging a stationary horse as she sat on its back, sitting with Henry in their garden eating ice cream cones that had melted down their hands. He saw pictures he had never seen before of Emma and David working at the station, Emma and Snow baking muffins, Emma and Henry playing Mario Kart. These pictures had all be taken before his moms had started dating.

"You've always loved her," Henry remarked quietly. "You took these without her knowing. It's creepy, but it's adorable." He said with a sad smile, returning to flicking through the pages.

"Cell phones have good cameras these days. I like to capture 'real moments', those for which one does not pose," Regina commented as she finally sat down next to Henry.

"I think that this is brilliant Mom. Ma will love this."

"I'll need to make more about things that have happened in the world, but I thought this would be a good place to start. If she can remember her life maybe it won't be so muddled for her."

"Well let's get changed and you can give her your present," Henry said as he stood and went to leave the room. As he turned though he noticed an item that had been placed on the dresser, not the bed, but it was undoubtedly for his mother too. He stared at it then his mom who nodded sadly. "Worst case scenario?" Henry said forcefully, making it clear he didn't approve but at the same time respecting that it might be required.

"Worst case scenario." Regina confirmed.

* * *

"I think this is wonderful Regina." Snow observed as she flicked through the pages of the album. Betty had approved of the item, along with the freshly washed baby blanket. She said that was enough for Emma in one go. Snow had visibly softened as Regina placed the blanket by Emma's lower face and on her neck, prompting Snow and David to look at the pair inquisitively.

"She normally sleeps with it either under or by her pillow. Sometimes she even wakes up hugging it, especially if she's had a restless night," Regina absently commented like it was obvious. She hadn't realized that this was something Emma hadn't shared with her parents. It was second nature in their house. When Emma had a cold and lay on the couch feeling sorry for herself, the blanket would be with her. It was almost an indicator to say 'I'm vulnerable, give me a hug, or leave me alone' to Henry and Regina.

"She really sleeps with it?" Snow asked, unbelieving.

"Yes, it's literally her security blanket. Don't look so shocked, Ma is pretty sentimental," Henry added as he organized his homework so he was comfortable on the couch. It was almost as though Emma confirmed Henry's words by shifting in her sleep to nuzzle into it slightly.

"I should have brought it earlier, it just didn't occur to me," Regina said as she softly stroked Emma's hair, tucking an errant strand behind her ear.

"Doubt it would have mattered before, I certainly wouldn't notice a blanket if I were taking the drugs she was." David was determined not to show how much it meant to him that Emma still treasured the one thing they had been able to send her to this land with.

"These photographs are remarkable, I would especially like a copy of this one," Snow commented displaying a picture of Emma smiling at Neal as she cradled him in her arms. "In fact, I'd like a copy of this entire collection."

Regina merely nodded as she sat next to her slumbering wife, desperate for the blonde to wake up, so she too could enjoy the pictures of her own life.

* * *

**Day Seventeen:**

Regina had actually slept that night, head atop of Emma's bed, holding her hand as usual. The exhaustion of the past forty-eight hours had caught up with her. She didn't even attempt to read to Emma after the Charmings and her son had said their goodbyes. Regina woke slowly, forgetting where she was until the sounds of the heart monitor reminded her. She studied Emma's face; she seemed peaceful and still fast asleep.

"She's doing great. Completely stable all night. Pretty boring from my perspective," Maggie said quietly to Regina. She was clearly doing her normal checks, writing Emma's vitals on the chart.

Initially, she thought it was Maggie's presence that had finally ended her sleep but as the held fingers in her hand continued to twitch, she realized that it was because her wife too was waking.

"Hi, darling. It's not quite morning yet, you should go back to sleep," Regina whispered as she attempted to lull the blonde back to a restful slumber. When a mumbled reply was given, Regina looked to Maggie to obtain permission to move the oxygen mask.

"We were going to switch her back to the cannula when she woke up, so go ahead," Maggie assured, as she removed the mask over Emma's head herself and swiftly connected a steady stream of oxygen to her patient through her nose. Regina smiled at her wife whose nose and face crinkled at the sensation.

"I'm sure it feels weird, but you'll get used to it," Regina said as she tried to get Emma's eyes to focus on her own. Emma started to mumble while she moved her eyes between the door, the ceiling, and her right arm. The movements weren't rapid enough for them to indicate Emma was trying to communicate. It was more like a coordinated slow dance of orientation. Regina tried, repeatedly, to break Emma's self-contained cycle, but it had no effect. Regina and Maggie both internally noted that the sounds Emma was making weren't increasing in frequency, nor volume. She wasn't asking for help, she was just in her own world. Suddenly, Maggie clapped her hands loudly next to Emma's left ear, which caused Emma to quieten and her head to move in the direction of the sound until she found Maggie.

"Hi, Emma. My name is Maggie. Do you know where you are, Emma?" She asked as she continued writing down her observations. Emma didn't reply, instead started to force her body on to her right side so she was facing Regina. Immediately, both women helped Emma, who once positioned, settled quickly back into her rhythmic mumbling. Her eyes which continued to flicker were now always looking at Regina, who concluded Emma's cycle was looking at one eye, then the next, then her hair and finally her left cheek. Emma's fingers continued to twinkle, long after her eyes had closed and the mumbles ceased.

* * *

Henry's heart broke when he and his mother entered the ICU room that afternoon. His grandmother was attempting to feed Emma what looked like soup, but it was hard to tell from the stains on the towel below her face.

"Henry, just give us a few minutes to finish up," Snow said gently.

"No, I want to stay." Henry threw his backpack on the couch and walked towards his mother, making his intentions clear.

"Henry please, Emma wouldn't want you to see her like this," Regina reasoned, regretful her timing hadn't been correct.

"Well then let's not tell her to remind her then. Can I please try?" Henry asked expectantly. Both Snow and Regina looked at each other, gauging the other's opinion. The process took so long that Henry had already moved beside his grandmother and was coaxing the spoon out of her hand. Silently, Snow and Regina agreed that perhaps it was best to let him try. As Snow explained that Emma needed to be told to open, close, chew and swallow for each bite and to keep the spoonfuls small, Regina changed the towel resting on her wife's chest for a clean one. They watched as Henry positioned himself and visibly took a deep breath. He hadn't realized she needed help processing how to eat.

"Okay, Ma. Open your mouth," He asked as he brought a tiny amount of soup level with her lips. Emma complied and he inserted the spoon. "Great, now close your mouth Ma." It was apparent that Henry had the skill and patience to do this and as Emma dribbled soup down her chin, it was clear he was, regrettably, just as successful as Snow had been.

"How has she been today?" Regina asked as they left Henry to his task.

"The same as what you described earlier. It's like she's half asleep. Mumbles, but I don't even think she's trying to speak. Medically, she better than she was before the 'magic incident'." Regina nodded along to Snow's update. It was what she had expected but silently hoped that the early morning unresponsiveness was merely symptomatic of Emma's typical morning stupor.

"I think the soup is the problem. I don't think she likes it. Is there something else we could try?" Henry announced after ten spoonfuls of soup had mostly ended up down Emma's front.

"We can skip to dessert," Snow said producing a cup of red Jell-O. Henry seemed pleased and Regina once again provided the pair with a clean towel.

"I can't imagine the laundry you had when Henry was an infant," Snow remarked at Regina's actions, earning nothing more than a telling glare in reply.

"See. told you!" Henry announced a few minutes later. "Five spoonfuls in, and she hasn't spilled a drop." Henry sounded proud, it wasn't clear if it was for himself or for his mother.

* * *

Regina and Henry sat alone with Emma as she slept after lunch, while Snow went home to deal with Neal who wouldn't settle and had driven Dopey and Belle mad with his constant screaming. Betty had been in and out several times and brief conversations with her were all that had been said in the room. This time when she arrived she brought with her an incentive spirometer, which Henry had lovingly called the 'breathing game' several days earlier when they had been introduced to it.

"Hi Emma, now that you're awake dear, it's time to do some breathing exercises. It will help ensure that pesky pneumonia doesn't rear its ugly head again," Betty added brightly. "She wouldn't do it this morning, but hopefully after some food and sleep she'll get the hang of it again." She quickly informed Regina, who was amazed that Betty knew Emma was awake before she did and she was sitting next to her.

Regina nodded in response. It had been the same as everything else, Emma could perform tasks if you just broke it down into small steps for her. Breathing with this apparatus to strengthen her lungs was something Emma could do on command before she spent a day sleeping off her magical overdose. Henry loved the thing and took great pride showing Regina that his lungs had greater capacity then hers. The conversation that had started in the room brought Emma to full consciousness from the light sleep she was already waking from.

"This weird looking contraption is a spirometer. It helps us know how your lungs are doing while strengthening them at the same time. It prevents fluid build-up too," Betty said with her signature warmth as she showed Emma the device as she explained how it worked. "See here, there is a ball inside, I want you to take a slow deep breath, trying to keep the ball in the center. Then after a few seconds, I'll ask you to exhale slowly. This yellow marker is what you're trying to beat." Emma didn't show any sign she was listening, let alone understanding, but Betty proceeded regardless. Her patient had reacted the same way and yet had managed to use it previously.

As Betty placed the mouthpiece between Emma's lips she asked Emma to inhale slowly. However, just as she had that morning Emma continued to breathe normally, rendering the device ineffective. After the fifth attempt, Betty announced that she would try again before the end of her shift and Maggie would try again tonight. She told Regina that any time Emma seemed more alert to give it a go and call a nurse if Emma seemed to be following.

"Can I try? I got Ma to eat earlier," Henry asked, rising from the couch where he had been watching.

"Absolutely. Just push the button if Emma starts to get the idea." Betty smiled as she left the boy to try. The fact she left told Regina she had little hope that Henry would be successful. A few minutes later Betty's instinct was verified. As Henry finally gave up and put the device on the table he saw his mom was crying while holding his Ma's hand tighter than would be comfortable for either of them.

"Hey, it's okay," he comforted as he lay his hand on top of theirs. "It's just a bad day. It's okay that she can't do it right now."

"It's not okay, Henry. She needs to do this so her lungs will recover. Look at her, she's so much worse. I did this to her." Regina was becoming loud and irrational, but Emma didn't even notice. She was back to mumbling and searching the room with her unfocused wandering eyes.

"Mom. You didn't do this. It was an accident. Both times," he said as he moved to crouch in front of his emotional mother. "Ma will get better," Henry added defiantly, squeezing both his mother's hands as if he were willing it to be so.

"When did you become the adult?"

"Hmm, around two weeks ago?" He proffered with a large wide grin that always warmed Regina's heart. "I think it comes from having access to wheels. Don't worry I'll regress once that privilege is removed," he added as he lay his head firmly on his mother's arm.

He would never let his mother know that when he was alone at night, he always cried himself to sleep.

* * *

"It seemed like you all had some quality family time this evening," Maggie remarked as she came to change Emma's IV. The Charmings had just left and in what was now becoming customary for the weekends, Henry had stayed behind with his mother.

"Yes we read some more Harry Potter and I think Emma is enjoying the baseball," Regina discerned and for the first time in days, Emma squeezed Henry's hand in an effort to confirm that was the case.

"Hey, Ma!" Another squeeze back. "Mom she's squeezing my hand!" Henry's words prompted Regina to inch closer to her wife.

"Well good evening Emma. How are you feeling?" Maggie enquired. Emma's gave her usual unintelligible response as her eyes started the same uncoordinated dance. "Well let me know if you need anything, okay?" Maggie went to leave the room before she paused and turned to face Regina and Henry.

"Her vitals are good you know. You could try if you want, to talk to her. No memory sharing, but at least make sure she is comfortable?" Maggie suggested.

"You really think it's okay, I won't harm her?" Regina anxiously pressed. She wanted so desperately to hear her wife's voice, even if it was just inside her own head. Henry's rapid detangling from Emma's hand and the speed he exited his chair demonstrated that he too wanted nothing more than for his parents to 'talk'.

"I'll watch her vitals the entire time. I'll stop you as soon as anything seems different," Maggie reiterated.

"I'll try Henry, but it all depends if she'll let me," Regina said in response to Henry's eager eyes. Regina needn't have been so trepidatious, as soon as she allowed her own magic to flow, her brain was filled with everything Emma was thinking. It wasn't a deliberate conversation she was having; it was a cacophony of unrelated thoughts and sounds.

"Is it not working Mom?" Henry asked as he appreciated the complete change in facial expression Regina adorned. Gone were evidence of relief laced with a smile, replaced by a tortured expression of anguish.

"No, it's working. A little too well. I can hear everything she's thinking. She's so lost, Henry," Regina confessed, fighting back the tears.

"Can I hear?" When he saw his mother's reluctance at sharing, he had to add, "Please? If I know what it's like in there, it might make it easier for me to help." Regina still looked as though she wasn't going to oblige, so Henry pressed further. "I promise if it's too upsetting I'll ask you to stop."

Regina quickly looked to Maggie who affirmed Emma was medically fine before she looked at her wife, who was mumbling away to herself as she scanned the room. With a wave of her hand, the room was suddenly filled with the sounds of Emma's brain.

" _Orange, ceiling, want to start something new, grass is always greener, breaking my heart, oh you think so? Hospital, we should pick raspberries,_ " Emma thought in a melodic manner.

"Is this normal?" Regina asked Maggie, the tears no longer being able to be held back.

"I honestly have no idea. We can't normally hear the thoughts of those that can't communicate," Maggie said, increasingly fascinated by what she was hearing.

" _If you want to leave, mmm coffee, red is darker than pink, salad please, baseball, nice things to wear_."

"She's singing," Henry analyzed and immediately began singing the song. "A lot of nice things turn bad out there. Oh, baby baby it's a wild world. It's hard to get by just upon a smile."

Regina stared at her son shocked. Not only had Emma quickly streamlined her thoughts to deliver the lyrics in unison, but her mumbles were more melodic than they had been all day. Regina was mesmerized as mother and son performed the most impromptu and ridiculous of duets. Henry's excitement grew as Emma focused on him and he started drumming out the beat on Emma's table, using the water jug a symbol. Regina and Maggie looked at each other in complete confusion and awe until their only response was to laugh. As the song began to conclude Regina's tears ceased and she smiled as she stroked the back of Emma's hand.

When the song ended the room was suddenly silent, no one knew what to do or say next. Emma stared at her son and thought, " _I miss my guitar_." She hadn't tried to speak, she wasn't trying to share that thought. All three looked at Emma ashamed they were intruding on something private.

"Will we sing another Ma?" Henry asked, deflecting.

" _Sure Kid,_ " Emma slurred, but what she said was unmistakable even without the projected thoughts.

"I think that's enough for now. I can see why she was humming that song all day, it's catchy," Maggie declared, reluctantly ending the sing-a-long. She felt vindicated in her decision to allow this 'procedure' to occur. The patient had responded positively to the therapy.

"Emma, look at me," Regina ordered. "Do you need anything?" She wasn't disobeying Maggie, she just needed to know her wife was as comfortable as possible.

"F-f-fff-irrrr-rr-st." Was the word spoken, " _Thirsty,_ " the one thought. Regina stood, breaking their connection and gathering the cup of water and a straw. Emma just stared at Regina, who had momentarily forgotten Emma needed to be told how to drink.

"Alright, darling. This is Maggie, I need you to do what she says for a few minutes okay? She's going to help you get better," Regina told her wife after drying Emma's chin of water that hadn't been successfully consumed. She stood and moved out of Maggie's way who had the spirometer in hand and forcefully embraced her son.

"Thank you, Henry. That was one of my favorite moments in my whole life. How did you even work that out?" Regina asked, mesmerized.

"Ma taught me how to play it, it was a fun song to play when I hadn't mastered barre chords yet. Even though Dad taught it to her, she loves it. I catch her strumming my guitar sometimes, and it's more often than not that song she's playing." Henry tried to sound nonchalant, so it wasn't obvious that he just realized Emma would never play the guitar again, hoping to spare his mom the same pain when she seemed genuinely happy.

"Well, if your talent isn't playing this song, then I request that it should be for a private performance, just for your moms." Regina looked at Emma, but she wasn't even paying attention to the fact her family were in the room, she was so focused on following Maggie's instructions. As Emma finally mastered a slow breath out on the twelfth attempt, Regina sighed in relief. Her wife was breathing, talking, and singing. Her broken heart was finally, slowly, beginning to heal back into one.

* * *

**Day Eighteen:**

Of all the days Emma had spent in the ICU, this had probably been the most eventful. Her progress had continued and in the morning was more alert and interactive than she had been since admitted. Each time she had woken she went through the phases of realizing she was in the hospital and that she no longer had the function of her left arm. When Snow had fed her breakfast the blonde had actually chewed and swallowed most of the scrambled eggs. If she ate well for the rest of day, the nasal tube that was feeding Emma directly into her stomach could be removed. What encouraged the medical team most was that her blood pressure was stable with fewer medications and the nursing staff had helped Jane sit Emma on the edge of her bed to do more extensive breathing and muscle exercises. Jane had been so excited for Emma that she declared she would come in tomorrow, on her day off, to see if she could be moved to a chair. It was clear, though, the ordeal had taken its toll on Emma, who was practically snoozing while still sitting up. As soon as her head hit the pillow she was fast asleep.

David entered the room a little disappointed that Emma was once again sleeping. He was desperate to hear Emma talk, no matter how slurred and difficult it may be to understand.

"She takes this sleeping thing from you, you know," David quipped, throwing back the coffee he had sneaked in. He wouldn't have had the audacity if Betty had been on the floor.

"I recall you being under a sleeping curse also," Snow playfully threw back and she grabbed the cup and took a swig herself.

"She does look a lot better, though," David noted. "When will they remove the restraints? Does she still need them?"

"She still randomly jerks. I guess they will stay on until that subsides. Regina says she has bad dreams a lot. Maggie said it's common for patients recovering from comas," Snow said sadly.

Their conversation had started as a whisper but was now being held at normal volume, which was enough to disturb their daughter.

"S-sss-shh-eeeeee-p." Sleep, is almost certainly what Emma meant to say, silencing her parents instantly, who turned to each other to show the widest smile either had seen in weeks. They waited for Emma's breathing to deepen and even out before continuing.

"The town is a mess. We need a Mayor badly. It's practically anarchy out there," David whispered. "We need a leader."

"You could do it?" Snow suggested.

"I detest paperwork almost as much as Sleeping Beauty here. What about you? You filled in just fine when Regina helped Emma with the Ice Queen," David countered.

"If I'm playing Mayor, I can't be here. I'm already not doing my actual job to be here." Snow paused thinking. "What about Belle? She's smart and logical. People respect her at least. She has that whole 'Dark One is my man' thing to help with intimidation. And she's family."

"Let's ask her tonight. If we don't get things sorted soon, we won't have any water next month," David said, confirming the seriousness of the situation.

"Missing Regina as our ruler? Who would ever have thought that day would come?" Snow remarked as she settled into David's chest thinking about just how much, and fast, everything can change.

* * *

"I think we'll head out now," David declared after silently conversing with his wife.

"I think I'll go home tonight, I doubt you guys will be doing anything other than sleeping," Henry added as he looked at his mothers.

Emma had briefly slept after dinner and when she woke she had become distressed when she realized she couldn't move her left arm. Regina had quickly got into Emma's bed, holding the blonde close until her breathing evened out and she finally fell asleep again. That had been an hour ago and it didn't seem like she would wake again this evening.

Snow left the room and returned with three fresh warm blankets. Instinctively, she placed one on her daughter's lower legs and placed another over Regina's and started to tuck in the brunette's torso with the third. The single raised eyebrow was a clear signal that Snow had taken the mothering a step too far.

"Sorry. Habit," Snow refuted as she gathered her belongings.

"They feel wonderful. Thank you, Snow." Regina smiled warmly to extenuate her gratitude.

"You're welcome. I'll see you both in the morning. Sleep well, sweetheart," Snow said to Emma as she kissed her forehead, even though it was lying on Regina's chest. Henry repeated the gesture and hugged Regina as best he could as he handed her her Sudoku puzzle book and the TV remote. He knew it would be hours before she fell asleep and was likely to be bored.

"See you for breakfast." Were Henry's parting words.

Once they were alone Regina organized her own blanket, turned off the overhead lamp and closed her eyes. Henry hadn't realized that in this moment, Regina had everything she could possibly need.

* * *

Regina woke suddenly with a feeling in her gut that something was very wrong. She looked at Emma who was sleeping soundly, then to her monitors which confirmed there was nothing untoward. Regina started to panic - if it wasn't Emma it was Henry. As she pulled her cell carefully from her pocket, as to not wake her wife, and fired a quick text to her son seeing as it was 1 AM.

**Are you OK?**

_Yeah, just reading. What's wrong?_

**Seemingly nothing. I just had a bad feeling. Are you sure you're OK?**

_Yes Mom. In bed. Ma OK?_

**Sleeping. Hasn't moved. Go to sleep. It's late.**

_Yes Mom._

**Love you.**

_Love you too._

Regina tried to quell the feeling, but it didn't subside. She placed her phone on the table and lay back and closed her eyes, her mind searching for something she had forgotten. After a few minutes, she hit the call button, prompting Maggie's arrival.

"Everything alright?" Maggie asked, as she already knew Emma's vitals were stable.

"Is she okay? I have a bad feeling," Regina professed.

"Her heart rate is a little elevated from earlier, otherwise she's completely stable," Maggie stated as she double checked the monitors and IV lines.

"Okay, sorry to have bothered you. I must be imagining something." Regina wasn't convinced, but she didn't have any evidence to contradict herself.

"Oh, it's no problem. It's what I'm here for. I'll be back in about twenty minutes for her obs. Just call me if you need anything, even if it's just to ease your imagination," Maggie said with a big warm smile.

Emma's fine. Henry's fine. It was the only two people in this town she was responsible for. She probably hadn't filled in something at work and a deadline was approaching. She didn't care if it was Sunday, she would call Claire in the morning and ensure everything was taken care of. Finally confident it was just her imagination she started to dose, syncing her breathing with her wife's.

Regina hadn't been worrying unnecessarily and that was apparent a few minutes later when Emma started to scream. Emma's right arm, which was trapped between and herself and Regina began to frantically try to break free. Regina pushed the call button immediately as she began to feel pain in her ribs and leg from Emma trashing against them. Regina wasn't sure if it was pain or a nightmare that had initiated the reaction, but when Emma began to vomit over herself and Regina, it was evident it was the former. Emma's screams became louder, a feat Regina hadn't thought possible, and suddenly with every thrash of her limbs, a beam of bright magic was cast.

Maggie was startled, but regained her composure quickly and started pushing pain meds. Regina grabbed Emma's hand, attempting to dispel the magic emanating from her wife, or at least encapsulate what did. Neither was method was particularly effective, Emma's magic was always more powerful than Regina's, especially when it was uncontrolled.

Emma's cries began to ease quickly, but it was clear she was still in severe pain. She tried to move her hand to her head, but Regina's grasp prevented her from doing so. This just increased Emma's anxiety further, causing more magic to be released into Regina's hands, her spell increasingly futile at containing it. Emma began to expel her stomach contents once more, diverting Regina's attention long enough to allow Emma's magic to break free and completely destroy the cabinets in the corner of the room. The next burst destroyed the chair Regina often slept in. Regina tried to grab Emma's hand before she could raise it near her head, but Regina missed, it allowing Emma to shoot magic directly into her own brain, causing Emma to scream. Finally, Regina grabbed her hand and contained Emma's weakening magic while Collins and Maggie worked in unison to pharmaceutically manage Emma's condition. Emma seemed to be weakening fast, her magic diminishing to nothing more powerful than a sparkler, but medically Emma was suffering. She continued to dry heave and Regina panicked as she began to lose consciousness.

"What's wrong with her?" Regina cried.

"We gave her a sedative," Collins said as he placed an oxygen mask over Emma's face. Everything seemed to calm instantly, the whole event lasted no longer than ninety seconds. The room looked like a bomb had exploded. Glass and water covered the floor and light fittings hung idly from the ceiling. Smoke softly filling the air.

Regina focused on Emma's heavily eyelids as she let Collins and Maggie organize more medication before she berated their incompetency. She tried to sooth Emma's discomfort with words and comforting strokes to her hand.

"Don't fight it, just sleep, Emma. We'll have you feeling better when you wake up," Regina pleaded.  _Go to sleep, just go to sleep darling_. Emma strained her eyes open to look at Regina, tears forming as she focused on the brown eyes she yearned for.

"S-so-rrr-y," Emma managed to say.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I promise we'll figure this out and you won't have to go through this again." Emma believed Regina that she was forgiven and with redemption in place she finally allowed the drugs to take over, Regina's face getting blurrier with every blink until darkness was all Emma saw.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Regina seethed.

"My best guess is migraines," Collins said flatly. "Her magic appears to be magnifying the symptoms and the pain. I just gave her some sumatriptan, it works for a lot of migraine suffers, and hopefully, it will work for Emma too. We were able to control her blood pressure during this, um, magic explosion? So we prevented the complications she suffered last time," Collins concluded in a manner that showed his own heart had raced in the past few minutes. A magical medical emergency wasn't something he was trained for.

Regina didn't even have words. She collapsed to her knees and placed her head on their entwined hands.  _Why can't she just get better? She doesn't deserve this._  The other patients on the floor who had been woken by the commotion fell back to sleep to the sound of Regina's wails as she begged for Emma to be spared.

* * *

**Day Nineteen:**

"Seems like I missed quite the show," Henry observed as he entered what was left of the room. They're going to move her right? To somewhere a little less construction site-y?"

"Good morning, Henry. Yes, she's being moved in just a few minutes." Regina tiredly gave her son a weak smile.

"Go get changed, I'll sit with Ma," he said handing her a bag with a change of clothes. "She seems peaceful at least," Henry commented as he took in his ma's features.

"Yes, she does. Thank you for these. I look rather ridiculous in blue scrubs," Regina remarked, squeezing Emma's hand as she handed it to Henry.

"You wouldn't class this as worst case scenario?" Henry said unbelievingly.

"There wasn't time do it earlier, I was waiting until she was awake, before… Well. I'll be back shortly." Regina hadn't slept since the event and Henry noticed. He was tired himself, for his mother's texts had arrived at dawn, allowing him only three hours of sleep after he stayed up late instant messaging Emily.

* * *

"I like this room better. The couch is comfier. You'd think she'd automatically get the best room in the place," Henry noted after Emma was moved.

"Emma's in the same bed Henry, and though I am pleased you are satisfied, it's her comfort I am more concerned with," Regina dryly replied.

"Well, yeah when you put it like that, I feel like a selfish brat. Have you told grandma and grandpa yet?"

"No. They'll be here soon. We're going to talk to Smith," Regina informed her son.

"You made him come in on Sunday?" He was imagining how that phone call would have gone.

"Yes, as I pointed out, if Emma could, I'm sure she would schedule all her medical emergencies nine to five Monday through Friday, in the future, if he could make an exception on this occasion."

"Sometimes I'm grateful I'm your son. At least I can use those puppy eyes I inherited from Ma to ease the wrath."

"Your mother is rather skilled at using those to her advantage too. We both know what she's doing and it still works." Emma mumbled back in response, it was possible she had articulated real words, but with the low volume and the oxygen mask, Regina didn't understand.

"Good morning darling." As she spoke, Regina lowered the mask so if Emma could talk, she had a chance at understanding. "How are you feeling?"

"s-h-o-ay." Emma lightly brushed her thumb over the back of Regina's hand as insurance that what she was saying was true.

"Good. Do you want to go back to sleep?" Emma simply shook her head. "Okay, then I need to talk to you about something. Henry, will you please give us a few minutes alone?"

"Sure thing. Glad you feeling better Ma. Love you." He gave his Mom an 'I'm here if you need me' look, while he squeezed his ma's foot in support.

"Do you remember last night?" Regina prodded. This would be so much easier if Emma was able to connect the dots. Emma scrunched her eyes, showing Regina she was trying desperately to recall. Regina was grateful that Emma at least didn't seem phased that she was in the ICU.

"You had a bad headache, a migraine probably. You were screaming and sent bolts of magic across the room. I tried to control it, but I couldn't. Your magic did a lot of damage, Emma." Regina was slow and deliberate in her delivery. She wanted to give Emma time to process each part of the memory. Emma's eyes shifted to survey what she could of her room, seeing as she was still lying on her right side.

"'Eems –k," Emma observed.

"It's a different room. Couldn't have you recuperating in the rubble," Regina chuckled as she showed Emma a wide smile.

"S-o-rrr-y," Emma said as she tilted her head and eyes downwards in regret.

"You don't need to be sorry. No one cares about the property damage. But you're hurting yourself when you use magic. It's slowing down your recovery. It might be why the headaches are so intense." Regina's voice was already breaking as she reached into her pocket and showed the blonde the magic cuff. "I think, until you're better and can control it, we should use this."

If Emma was hurt by Regina's suggestion she didn't show it. Instead, her response scared Regina. There was no fight or process of compromise, just complete acceptance. She tugged at their joined hands, prompting Regina to release it and Emma just raised her wrist to Regina's eye line. Regina instead grabbed Emma's left wrist and sighed when she surveyed it.

"We'll switch it to this one when some of these lines are removed, okay?" Regina was struggling to control her emotions and the tone of her voice demonstrated her lack of composure.

Emma tried to ask if they could take it off sometimes to talk properly but all Regina could ascertain was 'off and talk' which was enough to convey Emma's desire.

"Yes, if we need to. But your speech is improving all the time, it might not be necessary," Regina added warmly. Regina couldn't contain the tears as she finally placed the magic cuff on her wife's right wrist. "Does that feel okay, Emma?"

Emma nodded, before adding, while looking directly into Regina's watering eyes, "W-wo-wa, rrr-i?"

"I feel like you've now had everything taken away from you," Regina confessed.

Emma was trying desperately to comfort her wife. Emma didn't need magic, she never thought of it as something that defined her. Useful, yes. But definitive no. She loved that it was something her and Regina shared, the connection it brought to their marriage, but in this moment she didn't need it. She tried to wipe the tears away, but it was a clumsy attempt and to an outsider looked more like Emma lightly slapped Regina in the face. Emma was tiring and her speech was becoming less intelligible as she struggled to stay awake. She tried to say 'I still have you', but all Regina could decipher was the most important syllable.

"Always. You'll always have me," Regina confirmed.

* * *

"Not going to lie, I'm only doing this for you because I need to practice and either you won't remember or you won't be able to tell anyone," Henry remarked. "That didn't come off the way I meant Ma. Sorry."

Emma waved her restrained hand as best she could to indicate that it was fine.

"I reckon they'll be talking to the doctors for fifteen minutes at least so I can show you everything. Each part is short, so hopefully, you can follow. I'd appreciate it if you could just indicate if something looks lame," Henry said, obviously nervous and completely oblivious that his mother was barely remembering where she was. If it weren't for the drugs coursing through her veins, her confusion and agitation would have been more apparent.

As Henry began his performance, Emma was so enthralled the rest of the thoughts in her brain quietened and she gave Henry her undivided, though confused, attention. As he progressed, her eyes couldn't move fast enough to process the colors and the objects that glistened against the light. Henry's movements would be slow, then rapid and Emma consciously gave up trying to follow and instead shifted her focus to her son's face. All Emma really absorbed was that Henry seemed happy and that was all that mattered as her eyes drifted closed. Henry had been concentrating so intensely on nailing his performance that he didn't initially notice his mother was sound asleep.

"Well, that's not what you want," Henry deadpanned despondently. He gathered his belongings and had just settled on the couch to read a Batman comic when the adults returned.

"She's still sleeping," Snow noted.

"She was awake for a few minutes. Seemed pretty confused and out of it," Henry corrected, absently. "Didn't talk or move much or anything. What did the doctors say?"

"Nothing useful. They'll run more tests. It's remarkable to me how they can have all this information and still be completely clueless about how to proceed. Want to go to Granny's for breakfast? You could invite Emily. I sense it's time I meet her." Regina finally acknowledged that Henry had an increasingly significant relationship and she wanted to meet the girl.

"Breakfast sounds good. But just us. We're just friends." Henry leaped to his feet, he was, after all, starving.

"I'd still like to know your friends Henry."

"We'll see. Have a good morning Ma, we'll be back later." Henry grabbed Regina's arm before she could get distracted by Emma. Pancakes were calling.

* * *

When Henry and Regina returned they found the Charmings waiting in the hall.

"What's wrong?" Regina was immediately alarmed.

"Not a thing. Jane and nurses are helping Emma into a chair, they thought privacy was appropriate. Jane will do some PT, then it will be lunchtime," Snow said happily.

"Awesome!" Henry exclaimed. "What, this is huge. Ma's out of bed, which equals better. I'm not going to hold back on the glee," he said in response to his mother's confused glare as he started typing on his phone.

The joy extended to everyone's faces when they saw Emma sitting up properly for the first time in nearly three weeks. What pleased Regina the most was that she seemed alert and instantly recognized everyone and didn't seem confused by her predicament. An orderly had brought lunch and Snow automatically proceeded to help feed her daughter. By the third spoonful, Emma closed her mouth around the spoon without being told. She was learning and Snow simply smiled expressing her pride.

"Great, now swallow Emma," Snow prompted. After Emma complied, she tried to grab the spoon Snow was holding. The attempt was unnoticed by the boys who were captivated by a game of cards, but Regina, who had already straightened up Emma's bed and belongings, was on hand to assist.

Regina loosely held Emma's wrist and Snow placed the spoon in Emma's palm. The blonde tried furiously to clench a fist around it, but her grip wasn't tight enough to not let the spoon fall.

"Let us help you. You'll get it the hang of it eventually," Snow assured Emma as she indicated to Regina to take Emma's hand.

"K-i-dd," Emma pleaded.

"David, will you take Henry and your game to the cafeteria until I text you to come back?" Snow threw over her shoulder, instantly understanding what Emma needed with just one word.

"Come on Henry, I could use a hot cocoa to ease the pain of losing this badly." David and Henry both understood this tactic. Emma obviously didn't remember that just yesterday Henry himself had fed his mother.

Emma seemed calmer after the men had left allowing Regina and Snow to assist her in directing spoonful after spoonful of vegetable soup into her mouth. Regina held and guided her wife's hand while Snow instructed Emma on what to do while cleaning up the broth that spilled off the shaking spoon. After ten minutes Regina interrupted the cycle.

"She's tired." Regina lowered Emma's hand and handed Snow the spoon. Emma didn't resist, instead, she lowered her head to rest on Regina's shoulder as she looked at her mom apologetically.

"Well, I think that was remarkable progress," Snow proclaimed, trying to comfort her daughter. "Can you eat some more if we help you? Maybe through a straw?" Emma nodded. Regina silently reassured Emma while Snow transferred only the now lukewarm soup broth to a cup. Snow held the straw and even though initially Emma didn't know what to do, within a few minutes she was drinking the contents without choking. Snow and Regina had frequently exchanged glances. Neither woman was sure if they were more relieved Emma was showing progress or that they were proud of Emma for letting them actually help her.

* * *

Emma had fallen asleep only a few minutes after lunch, still in her chair. Chris had reclined it slightly and said there was no reason Emma couldn't rest for a while there before they moved her back to bed. Snow sat in the only chair next to her, as there simply wasn't room for another. After fidgeting for twenty minutes, Henry finally convinced his mother to join in the game, hoping she could add a challenge to his dominance he had earned over his grandfather.

"Why are you smiling?" David whispered in Snow's direction.

"She's dreaming. It's just funny watching her eyes move back and forth. I've never seen it before," Snow whispered back.

"Wait 'til she talks in her sleep, that's hysterical," Henry added.

"That it is," David agreed. "Once at the station, we had an entire conversation about a suspect that she was unaware of when she 'stopped resting her eyes'."

"Sleeping on the job? Sounds like a typical Sheriff in Storybrooke." Regina glanced at her wife raising an eyebrow.

"Mmmm, nat-k-ins," Emma slurred as she shifted in her seat.

"What's that sweetheart?" Snow asked gently.

"Nat-k-ins, ver r-o-g," Emma managed as she opened her eyes and looked directly at her wife.

"Yes, they were. They were supposed to be white swans with a purple trim. Idiots made them with a black trim." Regina was still frustrated that a detail of their wedding wasn't as planned.

"Vaz pur-phect," Emma said sleepily. Emma turned her head to face her mother. "N-n-eeeel?"

"He's good. He misses his big sister. When you're out of the ICU I'll bring him here." Snow's face fell as she saw confusion dance across Emma's eyes. "Do you know who Neal is Emma?" When Emma shook her head, Regina stood up and grabbed the photo album she had made.

"Then I think it's time to take a trip down memory lane," Regina said, placing the book on Emma's lap, her entire family there to help her turn the pages.

* * *

**Day Twenty:**

"Well didn't you have an eventful weekend? I must say, Emma, you look so much better than when I left on Friday. Far healthier than the room down the hall anyway," Betty said with her usual no-nonsense beat.

"B-b-b," Emma attempted.

"That's right, I'm Betty. I've been looking after you. It's great to hear your voice dear. Now you let me know if you need anything okay?"

"F-an cue." Though slurred, Emma's words were becoming easier to understand.

"You're welcome dear. The doctors will be here soon. I'll talk to them about removing some these lines and that feeding tube today. Now eat your breakfast and prove my point," Betty said with a wink to both women.

"She really is better?" Regina asked, still concerned Emma was just having a good day.

"Our Savior really is," Betty assured.

* * *

"I've never really understood cards," Snow declared as she lost the ninth game in a row to Regina.

"To be fair you didn't have a son forcing you to play such things, nor do you live with a person brought up in this world. I do miss Gretchenback though, we could make a board if you'd like to play. I'm sure Henry would love to learn." Regina recalled fondly many nights playing the game with her own father.

"I thought they would be done by now." Snow sighed and heavily tossed her losing cards to Regina, who started shuffling the deck with expert hands.

"I'm hoping the longer they are the better she is doing." Snow looked at her unconvinced. "We will know soon enough, and we will deal with it."

"Have you discussed rehabilitation centers with her yet?" Snow asked, frowning as she tried to decide her next tactical move as she lifted her newly dealt cards.

"No. But I will have to soon."

Before Snow could reiterate her desire to be involved, Smith and Collins entered the room. Their expressions didn't convey happiness, and Regina and Snow both felt a stab to their hearts.

"In English. No Jargon," Regina demanded.

"We're not experts in this, I could be misdiagnosing, but from what we just observed Emma has some language comprehension problems," Smith began.

"But she understands us and her speech is improving all the time," Snow challenged, confused by the statement. She thought they were going to tell them something new.

"Yes, but Emma doesn't appear to understand when we ask her to choose a ball from a series of objects, or if we asked her to brush her hair she said she understood what that meant and explained it to us, but couldn't choose the brush to do it. When we handed her the brush, she didn't know what to do next. She can, however, differentiate colors," Smith explained.

"Will it be like eating? If she does it often enough she will learn?" Regina demanded a prognosis.

"Hopefully, in time she will learn strategies to cope with the deficits. I'm really sorry, I have no experience of this myself, and I've been upfront about that from the beginning. It also won't apply to every object, that's very rare," Smith said defiantly.

"I don't really understand, what does this all mean?" Snow interjected, needing the conversation to take a step back.

"It means, Emma knows she's thirsty, but can't express she needs a glass, nor can she process the steps to pour water into a cup and then drink it." Smith saw the shocked look both women now adorned. "I'm sorry, that was rather blunt."

"I prefer blunt. So, she knows what some objects are for and do?" Regina was trying to understand how Emma's mind was working.

"We believe so yes," Smith assured.

"So she just has to learn," Regina concluded. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes. We were a while as I agreed with Betty to remove the feeding tube and the arterial and central lines. If she's stable overnight, I'm transferring Emma out of the ICU tomorrow."

"She's ready for that? She's barely gotten out of bed." Snow had beaten Regina to the same question.

"Yes she is, she doesn't need such, well, intensive care. She can continue to recover in neurology," Smith said flatly.

"If it helps, I've earmarked the room at the end of the hall, it has windows," Collins provided, attempting to seal his persona as the good doctor.

"When can she be transferred to a rehabilitation center?" Regina needed to know how fast she had to move on making plans. She hadn't expected Emma to leave the ICU so quickly.

"It depends on the facility you choose and how intensive the medical treatment is that they can supply. Emma still needs oxygen and IV antibiotics and IV medications to control her blood pressure. I also want to monitor her cardiac activity continuously. If the place you chose can do that, I'd say before the end of the week, barring any further complications," Smith determined.

"What about her headaches? Aren't you worried one of those happens whiles she's being neglected in some room at the end of the hall?" Regina quipped, recalling the event of just two nights previously.

"I spend most of my time on that floor, I'll be around if Emma needs me. We have nurses there too," Smith said, volleying off Regina's ridiculous comment that he would now basically ignore his patient because she wasn't in immediate danger of dying.

"I want Betty and Maggie," Regina fired.

"They work in the ICU," Smith countered.

"Make it happen," Regina said defiantly as she made her exit. "Especially Betty."

* * *

Regina and Snow found Emma sitting in her chair, her tray table lowered so that it was nearly resting on her lap. On the table were three objects, a blue ball, a red hairbrush and a yellow car. Emma looked at them sadly and as Regina crouched down in front of her she saw that Emma was crying.

"Hey, it's okay, it's all going to be okay," Regina said in the softest voice possible, so soft that Snow didn't even think it was Regina's.

Emma didn't respond to Regina's words or her touch, she just stared at the three objects and let her tears continue to silently fall.

"You're looking a lot better sweetheart. Do you feel better now they removed all that stuff?" Snow was desperate. This wasn't like before when Emma couldn't respond, she was choosing not to. She gave her mother the tiniest of nods, almost as though she didn't want to be rude by ignoring her.

"I'm going to take these away now Emma, you can try again tomorrow," Regina said tenderly as she went to remove the yellow car first.

"N-no," Emma said defiantly. It was the clearest word she had spoken.

"Well, then we're going to talk about what they are called and what they do." Regina paused and dread filled her. She didn't actually know how to help Emma.  _Was the correct thing to hold an object and get Emma to repeat it? Could Emma even do that?_  She would need to talk to Smith and ask. She didn't want to make Emma worse by doing something incorrectly.

"Actually, this is exercise. You always told me it was better to do a little and often, than try and cram an entire week's worth into an afternoon. So you're taking a break. Then I promise you can try again." Emma didn't even attempt to reply this time, she merely stared downwards as Regina emptied the table, with an occasional tear falling to her gown. Regina and Snow continuously glanced at each other. Neither had ever seen Emma like this, they weren't sure how to comfort the woman in front of them.

"Do you want to watch some TV?" Snow got no response. "Continue with Harry Potter? I personally would like to know who wins the Tri-Wizard tournament." It seemed to Regina that Emma's despair was intensifying.

"Snow, could you please ask David to bring me some coffee when he arrives? I can't stand another cup from the cafeteria." It wasn't exactly subtle, but it was a code of sorts that Henry had initiated. He called it 'Operation Hot Beverage'. It was how you got people out of the room without Emma realizing what you were doing. As she became more coherent it was less effective, but it had the side-effect of letting the person being removed feel less useless when they had a task at hand.

"Of course." Snow did an excellent job of hiding her disappointment that it was, naturally, Regina's job to help Emma through this.

"Okay, now talk to me. What can I do?" Regina tried to hide it but Emma picked up on her wife's pain. Regina needed something to fix, something proactive.

"f-f-eeee k-k-ko-o-d," Emma said without breaking her stare. Regina looked at the blonde's legs. The compression stockings had been removed too. Her feet had small ankle socks and slippers but Regina had brought just the things the blonde would want. Emma didn't watch Regina as she moved across the room, but as soon as Regina started to remove Emma's current footwear she was startled by Emma smacking her hand on the arm of the chair.

"K-oooo-lll." Emma tried to berate her wife.

"I know, trust me." As soon as Emma felt the soft fabric on her right foot she leaned over to see Regina had placed her favorite purple fuzzy sleep socks on her cold foot. She watched as she then placed what Emma referred to as the polar bear slippers on top. They were equally fuzzy inside and out and together kept Emma's feet warm on the coldest of Maine winter nights.

"How does that feel? Are your legs cold too? I could wrap a blanket around them?" Emma nodded softly in response as her crying intensified.

Regina felt lost as she cocooned Emma's legs in a fresh warm blanket. She sat on the chair next to her wife and took her hand, rubbing soft circles.

"Emma, I need you to tell me how you are feeling. I need to know how to help you."

Regina may have never seen her wife in this state, but the woman before her was still the person she married. They had done this dance before. Regina would ask what was wrong and then wait in agonizing silence while Emma decided what she wanted to share. It only worked when Emma was more upset than angry, otherwise, the blonde would just scream her frustration out. The profound sadness Emma was currently showing was rare, she hid all of that deep inside of her. So they sat, long enough for Snow to return and Regina to shake her head, indicating that they were not done.

"I d-oooo-n van va-an-t leee-av-e i-ke h-ii-ssss."

"You don't want to live like this?" Regina translated. Emma lightly nodded. "You won't have to. You're going to get better, you already are. You couldn't talk to me, now you are." Regina paused to see if Emma would even accept the truth as fact.

"Emma I need to talk to you about something important. About what we do next." Regina felt a squeeze in her hand, talking was clearly tiring her wife rapidly. "When you're a little better I want to take you out of Storybrooke to a proper facility where they know how to help you best."

"V-e-rr?"

"I don't know yet, I have a few places I want to visit. I want to keep you close, so if the place in Portland is suitable I think there would be ideal. Then your parents and Henry can visit all the time." Regina grazed Emma temple with the back of her spare hand's fingers, desperately trying to break the despair that was consuming her wife.

"F-i. F-i. Ffffff." Emma was struggling.

"Fix you?" Emma nodded. "I think they'll be able to help you better than if we stayed here. To improve your speech, memory, and help strengthen your leg so you can walk." Regina was trying to sound supportive and Emma had made eye contact as Regina listed the benefits. She searched her wife's eyes, trying to find a glimpse of untruthfulness behind them.

"Superpower kicking back in?" Regina asked warmly. She had missed that expression. Emma tugged at her hand implying she wanted control of it herself. Regina watched as Emma raised it from her elbow and used her torso to guide it's movements to her left arm. Regina was patient, she knew what Emma was doing and the buildup was increasing her own suffering. Finally, Emma got enough of her wrist to lift it and make it fall. The pair hadn't broken eye contact during the entire process.

"F-fff-ff-f."

"No Emma. I'm so sorry, but that's one thing we can't fix," Regina sorrowfully admitted as she watched fresh tears cascade down her beautiful wife's cheeks.

Regina felt helpless. There was now one thing in life that her wife would always want, but that she would never be able to provide.

* * *

**Day Twenty-one:**

"Good morning Emma," Betty declared brightly as she greeted her patient. "Looks like it's your last morning here. I'm going to miss having you as a patient. It's a shame I love my work in the ICU so much, to just have a couple of patients to take care of, otherwise, I'd put in a transfer to neurology. But my skill set is here. I'll come visit you, though, see how you're doing." Ninety percent of what Betty had to say was directed at Regina, but Emma was oblivious as Betty wrote on her chart and changed her nearly empty IV.

"F-aa-nk y-ou," Emma said with a smile.

"Impressive dear. You talk better than my teenage son already. Are you not in any pain? You didn't push the pain meds button all night," Betty remarked.

"It didn't seem like she needed it so I didn't push it," Regina answered for her mystified wife. It was ridiculous, Emma had no idea what the button was for, but at least Regina could now push it for her if she sensed any discomfort. Regina had insisted on it if Emma was to moved out of the ICU.

"Great. Well, the transfer paperwork is almost complete, just need you to do a set of ten into the spirometer before Smith will sign off on it," Betty announced nodding towards the plastic contraption sitting on the table.

Emma looked at the device that sat in front of her and remembered instantly that it had something to do with breathing and that it was a game. She looked at Regina pleading for help.

"Alright, so just do as I say. If you pass you can look out of the window tonight, maybe even see the stars if I arrange a small street light power outage," Regina mused.

Emma 'passed' with flying colors, breathing deeper than she had done before she fell asleep the night before. The resulting cough from the effort sounded better to both Betty and Regina and the sputum expelled was minimal.

"Looks like that pneumonia is clearing right up. She will be on the same timetable for this upstairs too. Ten times every hour." Betty was smiling as she cleaned the spirometer mouthpiece. When Emma was admitted, she hadn't expected Emma to survive, let alone wake up and talk.

"Thank you so much, Betty. For everything," Regina said sincerely.

"You're welcome. Just doing my job," Betty added as she placed Emma's chart back in the rack.

"Well, you do it better than most," Regina told Betty as she vacated the room. "I love you so much, my princess," she said to Emma as she helped her rest back on her pillows as her last feeble coughs seized, softly grazing her lips with her own.

"I vuv you t-t-tooo, my, kw-eeeeeee-nuh," Emma replied. Her surroundings felt familiar even though she didn't understand where exactly she was. It didn't matter, her wife was right there smiling at her. She felt safe and loved.

* * *

With the help of Snow and Regina, Emma's pillows had set a world record for the number of times they could be fluffed and rearranged in twenty minutes. Her blankets just falling short in second place.

"I think they're fine now, right Ma?" Henry helpfully supplied. Emma was getting frazzled from being comfortable one minute then if she made a slight adjustment the cavalry would arrive moving everything. Once Emma slurred 'yes' to her son's statement the activity stopped. Instead came a bombardment of questions. Hot? Cold? Thirsty? Hungry? TV? Book? Sleep?

"Guys. Stop. How about we just have a nice conversation. Maybe about how awesome this room is?" Henry remarked, loving the window, the larger couch and television.

"Yes, it is more than satisfactory," Regina confirmed. "Can you see the clouds, Emma?" Her only response was a small nod. Moving from one room to another after her morning PT had depleted Emma of all her energy reserves. It was clear all Emma wanted, and needed to do, was sleep.

"The show is at seven, correct?" Snow asked her grandson.

"Yep. I'm on eighth, so you shouldn't be bored and have fallen asleep just yet," Henry confirmed.

"And you don't mind missing it, David?" Regina queried.

"Not at all. I'm insistent. We have the video camera, tripod the works. So Emma and I can watch it together later," David said assertively.

"Well, I appreciate it. I do want to be there for him but I don't want her to be alone, especially in a new environment," Regina whispered as she thought Emma had already fallen asleep.

"Wh-hha," Emma struggled to speak, and the remaining words were complete gibberish.

"I'm sorry darling, I don't understand you," Regina regretfully had to admit. Emma fully opened her eyes and looked at the magic cuff, then Regina. "I can't you're already tired." Emma started to kick with her right leg, showing her complete unacceptance of Regina's response.

"Two minutes. I'll watch her vitals, I know what I'm looking for. Not letting her talk would just be as bad," Snow said decisively.

Regina held Emma's hand tightly in her own as she removed the cuff with the other. Relief was felt all around when nothing happened at all.

"Okay, I'm going to project your thoughts so we can all hear, okay?" Emma nodded to Regina's question.

" _What starts at seven?_ "

"School talent show, I'm doing a little act," Henry commented, causing Emma to solely focus on him. To her, there was no one else in the room.

" _Figured out how to do the end huh, Kid?_ "

"You knew?"

" _Yeah, it was hilarious watching you practice. No offense. Everyone should go. I'll be fine by myself for a few hours. I'm not even in the ICU, clearly, I'm not dying today._ "

"That's not funny," Snow said somberly.

" _I made you a hat. It's at the station,_ " Emma said, ignoring her mother completely.

"Really?" Henry was delighted his mother had thought of him so far in advance. He also hadn't found one in town to buy, so his outfit was incomplete.

" _Yeah, Kid. Being kidnapped finally paid off. Will you give me a private show after?_ "

"Yeah, I'll do it over and over until you remember."

" _You've done it for me before haven't you?_ " Emma's thought voice began to fill with sorrow.

"Just once, but you were tired. No worries, I changed the sequence to add a bit more pace as it was clearly boring."

" _It'll be great, Kid. Your mom will love it._ " Emma smiled as best she could as she sleepily turned her head so she could see Regina.

"Alright, that's enough, time to rest," Regina declared as Emma's fluttering eyes finalized the tiredness her voice had shown.

" _I've been here three weeks then if it's the talent show._ "

"Yes," Regina confirmed, not sure what to add that would help Emma when she was so close to slumber.

" _Don't remember…_ " Emma never finished her sentence as she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Regina placed the cuff back on and sighed in relief.

"She sounds just like Emma," Snow remarked to David, who smiled and nodded before embracing his wife. The other two realizing that the Charmings hadn't heard her daughter 'talk' properly since the accident. "That was really wonderful. Thank you, Regina, for amplifying it." Snow moved quickly to hug Regina warmly. For once neither was crying, they were actually happy.

"So I'm gonna go and practice," Henry said breaking the awkward family moment.

"Are we just not going to class anymore?" Regina knew her recent lackadaisical parenting was questionable, but her son should at least pretend to be receiving an education during this time.

"It's a non-day. Everyone is setting up or rehearsing." If Emma were awake her superpower would have highlighted that Henry, was in fact, telling a lie.

* * *

Emma woke to a darkened room, lit only by corridor light encroaching under the door and the flicker of the TV screen in the corner. She heard the sounds of the game in her dream and had thought she was remembering when she had been in D.C. on warm summer's day; the sun beaming onto her skin as the first pitch hit the catcher's glove in a called strike. She now realized it wasn't a dream, the Nats were playing the Mets, up 2-0. She watched the At Bat before her eyes shifted to the table in front of her, which had a note in big letters, the handwriting unmistakable.

**You're in the hospital, you're OK. Your thumb is on the call button. Push down on it if you need anything. Henry and I will be back soon. We're at his talent show. We love you. –R– xxx p.s. Go Nats!**

Emma's eyes flickered between the note and the game several times. Regina knew Emma would be confused when she woke up, she always was. She had asked for Emma to be given a mild sedative to keep her calm and it had worked. Emma dozed and watched and read in a cycle until her family would eventually return.

The game at reached the eighth inning when the door to her room slowly crept open, flooding the room with a light that Emma's eyes found hard to adjust too. Even though all she saw was silhouettes, she knew exactly who it was.

"H-h-hii," Emma said. Regina greeted her with the longest kiss they had shared in weeks. It felt natural to Emma and she tried to deepen it further, pushing her tongue to meet Regina's.

"Could you guys maybe do that after I go home?" Henry implored.

'K-k. K- Ki," Emma tried to finish the word but it was proving to be a real struggle.

"Hey, Ma. It's alright, you're drugged and tired." Henry was a little despondent. He wanted to show his ma his performance while he was on a high, but it could wait until morning. However, as Regina turned on a sidelight, unstrapped Emma's restraints and raised her bed, the blonde was becoming more alert with each passing change. Henry watched the baseball while Regina talked Emma through her breathing exercises and helped her greedily drink the water provided, resulting in Emma being as attentive as she could possibly be.

"V-ee-ll? 'ow, it, go?" Each of Emma's words was delivered slowly and deliberately.

"He is definitely our son. Strong magic courses through those veins." Regina sounded proud and happy.

"I won third prize Ma, look!" Henry exclaimed as he made his little trophy appear from seemingly nowhere.

"Vay, t-t-tto, g-go, K-i-i-d." Emma smiled back. Thanks to the note, she finally remembered where they had been.

Regina moved Emma to the left side of her bed, producing a confused look that was rescinded when Regina then kicked off her shoes and climbed into bed next to her. Emma automatically shifted her body as best she could to accommodate the brunette completely as she breathed in her scent.

"Time for a repeat performance I think," Regina declared. "But first, I think we need snack food."

In sync with his current persona, Henry elaborately produced a small white bag from his hat and handed it to his mom, who used a napkin to lift out a bear claw in front of Emma's eyes, which went wide with both recognition and complete unrestrained joy.

"Naturally you forget that we're married, but a bear claw you recognize instantly." The comment may have been sarcastic, but it was exactly the reaction she was looking for.

"Well yeah. There's always room for dessert, right Ma?" Henry winked back, equally pleased with how happy his mother looked.

Regina carefully tore the pastry into tiny bites and when the sweetness hit Emma's lips, she automatically opened her mouth to consume it. Only occasionally did she need to have Regina whisper 'chew' and 'swallow' into Emma's ear as they watched their son's performance.

Emma was perhaps the best audience member for illusion magic. She made Henry do tricks several times and was mesmerized as individual metal rings became joined and were then separate once more. He made coins increase in size and then disappear, he opened a banana to show that it was pre-sliced and his final trick was to make a coffee cup seemingly fly through the air.

"Encore!" Regina cried, loving every moment of their son's routine. He had real style and showmanship, each trick seamlessly flowing into the next.

"Fine, let's do a simple card trick," Henry announced as he pulled a deck from his pants pocket, his swagger growing. "Pick a card, any card."

Although Henry had directed the question at his mom, Emma tried to comply at once, missing the fanned deck entirely. Regina lightly held her hand over the cards and once Emma chose, Regina grabbed it, revealing the queen of hearts.

"Well that's ironic," Regina commented.

"Not much of a trick if you tell me what it is. Or is it? Turn the card over please." Regina and Emma were equally amazed when they read the inscribed words. 'Ma will pick. Mom: Well that's ironic.'

"How?" Regina exclaimed as Emma attempted to verbalize the first syllable.

"A true magician never reveals their secrets." Henry winked, removed his top hat and took a bow.

The family wasn't together in a way that any of them would have wanted, but this was the first moment since drowning, that Emma would never forget.


	10. Room for One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is totally different in style. If you hate it, fear not, it is a one-off. I hope you don't though because I had a lot of 'fun' writing this chapter this way - Emma gave me a unique opportunity to try something different.
> 
> Emma's thoughts are in italics throughout this chapter.

"Emma? It's time to get up. We have to meet your new doctor."  _Regina. Soft. Must be morning. I was dreaming you know, I was enjoying it. Stop shaking me, I'll get up in a minute. You know you've already won._

"Ssss-k-ayyyy." _Five more minutes_ ,  _just five more minutes, Regina_.

"Need you to be a bit more awake than that, darling."  _Fine, I'm up. So much for finding out what hat the dinosaur was going to pick out. This isn't our room. Regina looks concerned. IV in hand, air flowing in my nose. Not our bed. This seems familiar. I don't recognize it, though._

"H-ho-s-sss-it-al?"  _Is that where I am? Why? Something magical? Is that why I ache and am so tired? Wow, it was even hard to speak._

"We're at the rehabilitation facility Emma. We got here a few hours ago. This is your new room, where you are going to live for a while. Until you're better. Does that make sense?"  _Not really. Rehab for what? Am I an alcoholic? Wouldn't I remember that?_   _Pills?_   _She's looking at me like she wants a reply, just nod, I'll understand in a minute, right?_

"It can take a few minutes for her to remember when she wakes up. Sometimes she knows what happened right away, other times she forgets completely. Please just be patient."  _Regina's not talking to me, who is she talking to? I don't see anyone._

"Take your time darling. I'm right here."  _Take my time with what? Regina, you're not making any sense. But yeah you're right here. You seem different. Not just tired, but exhausted maybe? We must have fought a villain or something. It used magic. Maybe that's why I don't remember how I got here and why you look so drained? She said rehab, though. Rehab for what?_

"Emma? Do you know where you are?" _Well, you said rehab, this place looks medical. Does that count as knowing? What exactly do you want from me here?_

"Emma, this is Jenny and Stephen, they're nurses here. They're going to help you get out of bed and get ready. Remember that I'm right here."  _I can't get out of bed myself? Huh, I can't seem to move…_

"Hi Emma, I'm Jenny. I work days here and I'm going to help you get better."  _Petite. Dark blonde. Pale pink scrubs._  "And this is Stephen. He works here too."  _He seems about twenty-five, Puerto Rican skin tone. Am I supposed to know these people?_

"Hi Emma, we're just going to get you up into your chair now. Let us know if you're in any discomfort."  _Where's Regina? Okay, Regina is not defending me, so she trusts these people to be picking me up. A wheelchair? They've put me in a wheelchair? I can't walk? Regina, please tell me what is happening? Regina please I don't understand. This guy is putting my arm in a sling. I can't make him stop, I can't move it at all. Regina please, what's wrong with me? Why can I only make noises, why can't I talk? Please, Regina._

"Look at me, Emma."  _Regina._  "You trust me?"  _Emphatically._  "Okay. We're going outside and then we're going to meet your doctor and take a look at the place. So you need to wear shoes. Which pair do you want?" _My blue running shoes or my red everyday pair. All she wants is for me to pick. Um, the red ones._ "Alright then, lift your right leg up for me."  _Regina is tying my shoes. She knows I can't do it myself. She's done this before; we've done this before. I can't move my arm. Hospital. Brain damage. Regina telling me I have a brain injury. I'm brain damaged and I can't tie my own shoes. I can't do anything._   _This chair, these people, this place. It all makes sense now._

"You're okay. You're here to get better. We're all going to help you. Remember that I love you more today than I have ever before."  _She's wiping away my tears. She has definitely done that before. That smile isn't covering anything up, Regina._   _I gave her that expression. She's sad because of me._

"L-L-u-v y-y-ou t-too."  _A warmer smile back. Did she ever doubt that that was true?_

* * *

"Hi Emma, Regina, I'm Doctor Meyers. I'm going to oversee all your care during your stay, so if there is ever something you need or are unhappy with, my door is always open. Has it been explained to you how things work around here?"  _Explained? Okay, what did Regina and Henry say when we talked about this? I've to live here. A roommate maybe. They were wearing different clothes, we talked about this more than once. A pool, Henry was excited about a pool. He seems like a nice doctor, though. Oh, he's waiting for a response from me here._

"Y-yea-h-s, b-but-t-, I-I d-ooon't-t 'mmm-eh-mmm-errrr."  _Regina sighed. It must be frustrating to tell me things repeatedly to no avail. She doesn't look herself. There's something off, it's not just fatigue._

"Then, let's go over the basics, the rest you can learn as you go along. Stop me anytime if I'm going too fast or you don't understand something, alright?"  _Okay, Emma concentrate. Listen, concentrate and remember._  "Regina, please ask any questions you have as well."  _She's nodding, but she's looking at me, analyzing. What am I doing wrong? I'm just sitting here listening to him. Am I supposed to be doing something else?_

"So we operate on a nine-to-five, Monday through Friday schedule, with the weekends dedicated to light therapy, group outings, and family visits. Your days will be very structured Emma, your program has been tailored to your current needs and will change over time. Every session block lasts around fifty minutes, starting on the hour to allow you time to get from one place to the next. You'll have dedicated nursing care to help you until you don't need it anymore. A lot of people here have been where you are, worse even, and are now independent. That's our goal here."

"So-ooo I-i-I v-oon't-t beee u-u-lll-e-ssss?"  _Why does it take me forever to say anything, I can think so much faster. God, I must sound like a toddler. That's what I am, a child._

"-now _." Crap I wasn't listening, what did Regina say, was it important? Warm eyes, maybe something encouraging. Just don't nod or anything, so she'll say it again._  "Emma, you are not useless."  _Ah, every word was deliberate and slow, time to nod and see what this guy has in store for me. This is a nice office, quality furniture. That's a designer tie. How much money do we have?_

"So each day will start at seven-fifteen."  _Ha ha, good luck with that one. I only got up that early in prison. Wait. Structure, days planned for me. This is prison._  "Then you have an hour for breakfast before you have PT, OT, and a meeting with your speech counselor before lunch. I know it sounds like a lot, and it will be, so your next task will be sleeping for a couple of hours."  _Scheduled sleep, so not prison, but kindergarten._

"Sk, sk-oooo-l."  _Why did she bring me here? I hate this already._

"It is a bit, but the structure will help you."  _The doctor thought I was funny? I wasn't being flippant, I was being completely serious._

"What else does she have in the afternoon?"  _Focused, on point. That's the woman I love._

"Another hour of PT and then tomorrow, you will meet with your psychologist and our in-house psychiatrist, if needed. That hour of the day will change depending on how you're feeling and your progress. But that is what will happen tomorrow."  _Wait, psychiatrist? I'm going to take crazy pills? How am I supposed to talk about my feelings when it takes me three minutes to say hi? This guy is batshit crazy. He needs meds._

"It's okay. No one thinks you're crazy, it's just so you can talk about things and adjust."  _Are none of my feelings a secret anymore? How did she even know what I was thinking? She's trying to make me feel better. Just nod, pretend everything is fine._

"…Then the nurses will help you settle for the night. That's about it."  _Aw crap. I missed what happens between shrink and bed. I guess I'll forget anyway. Just go with it._

"I know it's against your rules, but I'd like to stay with her tonight."  _Regina's talking about me, not to me. That's twice today. I hate that. Wait, she can't stay with me? She's leaving me here? So it's boarding school now?_

"That will be fine for this evening. But after that I'll have to ask you to stick to the five to nine weekday visiting hours."  _Oh my god, look at her expression. She doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way, Meyers. But really Regina, you picked the place, they don't know you're a queen; no rule bending for you._

"I can't be here for meals?"  _Ooo, I can feel the wrath. Guard your heart there doc._

"Just dinner. How about I take you on a tour of the main building Emma?"  _Nice sidestep._

"K."  _Ah, single syllables. I don't even care if it's cheating. And movement! Shouldn't I be able to move this thing?_

* * *

_Fun walkway, the weather looks nice out. Trees are turning green. So we went what, from those offices, across here to this big open foyer thing? Do I need to remember that? I feel like I'm already forgetting how we got here. The floors remind me of an airport._

"Okay Emma, this is the second floor. On the right is our neuropsychiatry and speech therapy offices. They aren't particularly interesting, to be honest with you."  _Regina is nodding, she's seen them before. Of course she has._ "And here on the left is our group therapy room. We do everything in here from counseling, learning IT skills, music-"

"P-eee-annno?"  _Please let there be a piano here. I might not be able to play it yet, but I like listening. Maybe I could convince Regina to play._

"There sure is, right in that corner. As you can see, they're doing arts and crafts right now."  _Wow. Look at these patients. That guy over there doesn't even look like he knows where he is. But she seems completely with it, I even like her painting._

"Through here is OT - occupational therapy. This is where you will work on your motor skills and they'll help you do daily tasks like putting on your clothes or brushing your hair."  _I know how to brush my hair. Are these people making shapes out of clay? Okay seriously, this is actually kindergarten. Where's Regina?_

"R-r-r-geeee-na."  _Huh effective enough, there she is right in front of me._

"I know it's a lot to take in, but you're alright."  _Damn, she thinks it's just information overload._

"Ch-h-i-a-old."  _I'm not even sure I understood that, and I actually said it._

"No one is going to treat you like a child Emma. I promise. Think of it more like college. You have classes and you learn things at specific times. That's all this is."  _How did she figure that out and always know what to say? Just go with it, Emma. Just remember she picked this place, so it must be the best. Great, and now I'm crying. And now my chest hurts. In front of these strangers. Crap, Regina's talking to me._

"…with me, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Keep doing it with me."  _Okay, yeah now it hurts less. Should I just assume from now on that she knows how to fix everything? Woah that feels cold, can doctors never warm their damn stethoscope before they do this?_

"Good Emma, just take a deep breath for me."  _Regina can see him, she looks worried. I don't feel that bad, just a little tight._ "Still wheezing at the base, but sounds as I would expect after looking at yesterday's X-ray."  _Regina is nodding to this? Regina understands this? Why can't I breathe properly? It's too much effort to even ask. I'd really like to sleep now. Wonder when Dumbledore here has my next sleep scheduled._

"Well let's go downstairs. Our elevators operate on a sensor-based system, a lot like automatic doors, which you might have noticed are fitted in all communal areas. So you just need to be in the red box and the elevator will come. The doors won't close until you're fully inside."  _Is it wrong that I want to test this out? It kinda sounds like fun. Come on doc, let's go downstairs._

"So this is the main floor, you'll spend most of your time here. Directly through those doors is our medical bay. You'll get routine physicals in there and we'll treat you for anything here that we can't in your own room. It's staffed twenty-four seven. Even if you just have a cold, tell us and we'll take care of you."  _okay, this smothering thing is a little too intense now._

"And here is the PT room. I think it literally has everything. You'll be in here a lot so you can strengthen your muscles."  _I've had PT before, it wasn't that bad. Stupid shoulder injury._

"W-W-w"  _Regina thinks she got that one by me, but I saw you finishing my word for me. I'm grateful, though, it seems to be getting harder._

"I will guarantee nothing Emma, but put the work in, and there's a very good chance you'll be walking out if here."  _Good enough. This room is kickass. It's the best gym I've ever seen. Is that guy getting a massage? Okay, now we're talking._

"Like what you see?"  _She's smiling, relieved maybe? Give the wife a healthy nod._

"Well if you liked that Emma, let me show you the pool."  _Pool! Henry had said something about a pool._ "In here we do a lot of therapy to get you strong. We have group sessions too when you progress a little." _I don't see how she's getting strong, she's just sitting in a chair half submerged. Did someone abandon her there? People seem to be getting out, moving a lot, did I do something?_ "The pool is open during the weekends for family members, and yes lifeguards are on duty, so you and your son can spend time here. That's correct, yes, you have a son?"  _Henry, yes. Just nod._

"Great! That leaves one main area to show you and that is where I will leave you. The dining room."  _I just want to sleep actually, maybe I can puppy dog eyes Regina into taking me bed. Hmm, Regina in bed._

"So this room doubles as a rec room of sorts in the evening, but dinner is served five 'til eight. Family members who are close by are encouraged to come and eat here and then spend the evening. Jenny finishes at three-thirty, so I'd like you to meet Mark, he's going to be your evening nurse."  _That guy's a nurse? Woah, if I weren't a married woman I would be more excited about that Chris Pine quality he has going on._

"Hi Emma, Regina. I'm Mark. I'm going to help you eat some dinner, then I'll take you back to your room."  _You really are a fine specimen of a man. I mean look at those eyes._

"I'd like to help her eat. You said I could take care of her at dinner."  _Chill Regina, I'm not even hungry._

"I did, feel free. Alright, Emma, I'll leave you in Mark's safe hands for the night. If you want the thermostat changed, he's your guy. If you're in any pain, finding it harder to breathe, anything at all, let us know. There is no need for you to suffer."  _Sure thing doc. Yeah, I'd better articulate that._

"V-a-nk u-ooo."  _Good enough, better acknowledge Mr. Hollywood while I'm at it._  "I-I"  _Okay that sounded more like I want something rather than hello._

"It's good to meet you, Emma. Looks like your wife has your dinner, I'll be right over there if you need me."  _Wait what? When did Regina even leave? Mashed potatoes, gravy, roasted chicken, and asparagus. She's really going to let me eat comfort food?_

"Of all the options tonight this seemed the most up your alley."  _Well yeah, compared to your plate of salad and fruit, I'd agree._ "I won't pander to you like this every night so make the most of it."  _She thinks that was a joke. It does smell good actually. This place feels more like a restaurant than a cafeteria. Like a reception at a wedding almost? There are flowers on the table, proper napkins. These tables are solid wood, glass inserts, probably easier to clean._

"Emma?"  _Look for clues, what did she say? Don't even try Emma, she'll repeat it._ "Give me your hand so I can help you hold the spoon"  _How do I convey that I'm tired without even talking? Maybe if I just rest my head on her shoulder she'll get the idea that I want to sleep._ "Alright, darling. You just need to eat something then we'll head back. I know it's been a long day."  _Bingo. Okay, I've done this before. I've eaten food before. How the hell do you do it? Why is my mind blank? Regina's making all the food smaller. Is she going to tell me? She seems to know. Okay, now there's food on that um, that um, that thing. Whoa, now it's what flying? What the hell is she doing?_

"Open your mouth, Emma." _Okay?_ "Close." _Oh my, God. It tastes delicious. Regina is watching me, am I doing something wrong?_ "Remember to swallow at some point."  _Warmth in the eyes. Wait. Swallow. Okay, I can do that. Regina seems satisfied so that's good._ "Open your mouth, Emma."  _Seriously, how is she doing this?_ "Close."  _Fine. Don't let me work it out._

"Wouldn't it be easier if you just recorded your commands onto an iPod and just make her listen to it at dinner?" Okay _, young, attractive, brunette. Clearly a patient here too. No name comes to mind._

"Please never speak about my wife that way again."  _Oh, lady, you're in trouble now._

"You're lesbians? How does lesbian sex even work? Can you both get off at the same time?"  _I like her, she's funny and abrupt. I used to wonder the same thing, but Regina is going to kill her any second now, so I guess no need to learn her name._

"I don't think this is appropriate dinner conversation. Now if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to continue being alone with my wife."  _That's my girl._

"Sure thing. I'm Lauren by the way. I'm your roommate."  _She's extending me a hand. She's looking at me confused. Oh right, shake back. Come on arm. Well, I missed and now it hurts after smacking the table. Thanks, Lauren._

"Wow, you're really fucked up. What the hell happened to you?"  _What did happen to me? I know this one, Regina told me._

"Please refrain from commenting on my wife's health in front of her again, and what happened to her is none of your concern."  _Well maybe not hers, but can you tell me again? I'll really try to remember this time._

"Holy shit dude you can't even talk?"  _I must have mumbled. I'm too tired to talk._  "So you can't walk, talk, looks like you can't move one arm at all, the other is pretty useless, you don't remember how to eat and, based on the oxygen you're carting around, you can't even breathe that well either." _Well, that was blunt, but yeah, that's pretty much me._

"Enough." _Oh, you've woken the queen now; she only raises her voice on special occasions. Great first impression, let's cause a scene at dinner in front of everyone._

"S-s-k-ayyy." _Please, Regina. Calm down, I don't have the energy for this. You can fight later, apparently she'll be there._

"Ah, I was hoping to talk to you before you all met. Lauren, did you introduce yourself properly?"  _Man, I could look at Mark all day. I wonder if Regina has noticed how hot he is._

"No, sorry. Hi, I'm Lauren, I have no inhibitions, no filter. I don't intend to be hurtful, I just say what I see, without pause. I could tell you that I am sorry that my words hurt you, but I won't mean it, nor will I refrain from doing it again. Can I have a cookie now boss?"  _Ah, well that explains that. Wonder what other kinds of brain damage people have. Huh. Do I do that? Say mean stuff? Don't be stupid Emma, you can't talk at all. I'm thirsty. How do I solve that? Maybe Regina can tell me._

"F-f-i-rrrst."  _I miss talking._

"Well, I'll see you back at the ranch. I'll leave you to feed your, well, pet."  _Okay, that hurt. She has a point, though. I am Regina's pet. I'm not a wife, not even a friend, just this thing she has to take care of all day. It's why she's sending you here, it's so she doesn't have to deal with you all the time._

"She understands everything you are saying. Please leave."  _She's trying to comfort me; that's got to be why she's stroking my hair and arm. Or not on the arm._  "Open your mouth and you won't be thirsty anymore."  _Do as you're told, like a good pet._

"I'll be right over there, helping some other residents. Just push her button when you're ready to head back. If it helps, Lauren's getting better. She doesn't tend to recycle insults either, so it's probably the only time she will say it."  _I have a button? Like on me somewhere?_

"Come on darling, let's finish dinner and then we will head back."  _Sure, feed and walk me, just like a dog._

* * *

"I talked to Lauren while you were showering; we appear to have come to an understanding. She actually seems lonely. Her husband lives several hours away, only comes on the weekends."  _Lauren. Lauren. Regina's saying it like it should mean something to me._ "Do you remember who Lauren is Emma?"  _No. What was that big sigh for? Relief?_

"Did you feel okay with Mark and Sarah helping you in there?"  _You don't want to know how funny I find it that I had a hot guy and a fifty-year-old woman in there with me. It wasn't awkward or embarrassing at all. Loved it. But hey I'm clean, right? Got to piss in a toilet. I'm trying to be positive here._

"Emma?"  _Right, sorry._

"Y-eah-ssss."

"You will tell me anytime you're uncomfortable, won't you? If you don't like the place?"  _If I did that, that's all we would talk about. Just nod Emma._

"Mark will be back with your medications in a few minutes, then you will be free to sleep uninterrupted if you want. Or we could watch a movie, television, or I can read to you for a while?"  _I'd actually like you to moisturize my legs. I know that's selfish, you must be bored taking care of me, but she shaved them, which was nice, but now they feel dry._

"Mmmm-maw."  _Woah that's like impossible to say._ "L-lll-eee-sss."  _Maybe if I add a little leg shake you'll get it?_

"Less what on your leg Emma? You're too warm?"  _God no. I hate this, I just want to talk to you._

"Okay, it's okay, it's my fault. I'll get it. Something with your leg? Just nod for me."  _I'm nodding, right?_ "Does it hurt?"  _No. Well, the left one is kinda stiff actually, little tight. Woah, she picked up on that? Okay, yeah really tight. My whole body feels like I've had the flu._

"I think I know what you need."  _Moisturizer. Big star for Regina. Please rub my legs. Please rub my legs. Yes! Pajama bottoms rolled up, she's got this._  "Moisturizer is a hard word to say, remember that you can call it lotion."  _Duh! Her hands feel amazing. I married this woman for her hands._

"Do your shoulders and back need massaging too?"  _I so want to say yes, but don't do it._ "It's okay to say yes, it makes me feel like I'm doing something useful."  _Okay, she's smiling._  "Good. Just relax."

"Still awake?"  _The hot nurse. Come on Emma what was his name?_  "Just need you to swallow these meds Emma and then I'll get you settled for the night."  _How exactly did I get to be sitting up?_

"She needs water first."  _Regina, concentrate on the rubbing. Damn, she stopped._

"Ah, good to know. Okay, Emma open your mouth for me. Great. Now close, but don't swallow. Perfect. Okay, open your mouth for me again. Close. Swallow this time."  _Regina's here, that's good, she's drying my chin. I guess I spilled all over myself. Doesn't look like she minds._

"You have another few days of IV antibiotics and then hopefully this can come out."  _He's holding up my left arm. It's so weird that I know he's holding it but I can't feel it. Ah, the clippie thing is back on._ "I just need to take your blood pressure and temperature Emma then we'll be all set."  _Do whatever you need to do. Where's Regina? There she is. She's beautiful. I can't believe she's mine. Mmmm fuzzy socks. Come here._

"All looks good."  _He was so talking to Regina, she's nodding, inhaling. Did she expect me not to be?_   _Hmm, he's typing things into an electronic thing. Damn what's that called? I even have one._  "Sleep well Emma, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. There are extra blankets and pillows in the closet and the couch pulls out if you want a bed. Call me, or the night shift if either of you need anything, at any time."  _Yeah right, the Evil Queen will sleep on a pull-out bed. This I've got to see._

"Thank you, Mark."  _Ah off come those boots. Wow, she's changing. Silk pajamas. Sounds about right._  "You look exhausted Emma. So I think we should just go to sleep."  _The sun has barely set. We should put the television on, she'll get bored._

"Teeeeh-Teeeeeh-teeh."  _I know my eyes are heavy and I must look like crap, but please don't give me that pitying smile._

"I have something better."  _Huh? A shiny rectangle thing. That's nice I guess. I don't see how that's better than television._ "Do you want to sleep on your side or back tonight?"  _Just as I am is fine. Woah! I don't like being picked up. How did she even pick me up? Oh right, need space for her. Don't take up too much of your own bed, huh Emma? What is she doing? She's made that shiny thing bigger and brighter._  "Just in time for first pitch. It's not on television here, so we'll have to watch it this way."  _Oh hey, baseball! How does she know I like baseball? And the Nationals? Does she know about DC?_

"I love you, my princess."  _Ah, Regina. I'll just rest my head here on her shoulder._

"I l-luv…"

* * *

"Alright, so breakfast is the same every day. Think of it like a hotel. Cereals, bread products, eggs, juice, really anything you can think of. Just tell me what you want and I'll get it for you."  _I hate this, I hate this, I hate this._   _Jenny is looking at me expectantly. The woman helped me take a shit this morning now she's going to feed me. Just say something, anything. I couldn't give a flying fuck what she makes me eat._

"O-oo."

"Oatmeal?"  _Well no, I was going for orange juice, but sure why the fuck not._  "Raisins?"  _Eww._  "Sugar?"  _Well, enough to make the bowl of goop edible._  "Banana?"  _Oh actually yes. That would be fine. Way to go Emma, a few syllables and you now have a breakfast Regina would have paid you hundreds of dollars to eat. Look at these people. At least I'm not the only one being spoon-fed here._

"Alright, here we go. Want the banana cut up and mixed in so it's hot or on the side so it's cold?"  _It's going to take a thousand questions to get anything done around here. No wonder we have to get up so early for a nine AM class._

"nnnn-innn."  _Awesome._

"You got it, Emma."  _She's too cheery. She can't possibly enjoy doing this._  "Alright, now give me your right arm. Take it slow and try to make your hand connect with mine."  _Well, that was at least in the right general direction._  "Okay, now try and make a fist. Around the blue part."  _Huh, this thing is actually kind of cool, squidgy._  "That's wonderful Emma. Now I want you to put your empty spoon in your mouth"  _What's a spoon? Expectant. Okay, you've got this thing in your hand is that a spoon?_  "Okay see this flat part here? I want you to try and raise that to your mouth. Like this."  _Okay, so just lift your arm, Emma, that's all I'm getting from this demonstration. Man, this is hard. That thing is shaking like crazy, it looks like it's having a seizure. Maybe if I grip tighter it will stop? Nope, that didn't work._

"That's great!"  _What's great? What is she so excited about? I'm hungry. How do I fix that?_  "You keep your hand on the spoon"  _What spoon?_  "The spoon, it's in your right hand. I'm going to help guide your arm. Tell me at any time if you're tired or in pain."  _How about I'm hungry, does that count?_

* * *

"Are you a runner Emma?"  _I think past tense would be more appropriate._

"Y-yeah-s."  _This guy seems nice enough._

"Thought so. Well, the right leg seems good and strong. I'll work with you building your muscle tone back up. It's been a month since your accident right?"  _I had an accident, that's why I'm here. Right, yes, that seems right. I don't remember an accident, though. He's looking at me. Okay, there was the talent show, so that's three weeks there, so maybe a month? Just nod._

"Okay, so blue band on the right, let's see where you're at on the left. First, I want you to do it without the band, so all I want you to do is straighten your leg. Great and bend your knee. Straighten."  _I don't feel ridiculous at all, lying here on the floor, on my side watching Mr. Sweaty over there cycling away._

"Try to not let your foot touch your other leg."  _This is really hard. I swear I'm really trying._

"Just rest for a couple of minutes. And I'll see if using a band will help keep your leg up."  _He's holding a tan band. Does he not get that I know that's the lowest level, It's basically the resistance of air. I can beat air right? What if I can't beat air?_

"Relax Emma. You're doing great. We're almost done assessing your legs today. I've got a clear picture of the work we need to do. We have a few minutes left, so do this and then I'll massage your left thigh. It's really tight and it must hurt."  _Okay, that sounds like a fair deal. I can do this, I can stretch with the stupid tan band._  "Okay, straighten your leg. Don't push harder if it hurts, that's not the goal here."  _Your foot is on your calf Emma. That's really as far as you can go? I can't lift my leg up and straighten it. Never mind walk. Or run, or do anything. Some Savior you are._

"Emma? Focus on me. This is the starting point, not the finish line. You and me, we're going to get there together."  _Does everyone here go to some sort of motivational speaker school? It's ridiculous. I'm surprised there aren't inspirational phrases incorporated into artwork on the walls._

* * *

"You've improved a lot since this pre-admittance report was written. I'd say that bodes well, wouldn't you?"  _She seems so excited that I could keep this thing in my hand. What did she call it again? Wait, what am I doing? I got this weird thing in my hand and she's looking at me. She seems tired, wedding ring, so married. Mid-forties maybe? She probably has a lot of reasons to be tired. She doesn't seem angry at me, though._

"S-sooo-rrr-eee. I-I, w-www."  _This is tough._

"It's quite alright, dear. I want you to lift the spoon up Emma. Just a few inches. Same as what you just did."  _Spoon?_  "The thing in your hand Emma. It's called a spoon. You use it to eat with. Keep it in your hand and lift it a few inches."  _Lift hand. Like this?_  "Impressive. Now lower. Perfect."  _She's like that other guy, makes me do things then writes stuff down. That's a lot of paperwork. Those guys look like they're having fun playing with clay. I want to play with clay. Or that board of fun stuff. Is that a pot full of pegs?_

"You'll get there Emma, just not today. Right now let's work on your coordination. It says here you reach for things, then miss them?"  _Yeah, I do that. It's hilarious when I smack myself in the face. Real crowd pleaser. Oh, right, talking._

"Y-yyeah-s."

"Then I want you to try something different. This exercise will help build coordination and improve grip. These are my colorful stacking cones. You can see they all have different widths. I want you to pick up the yellow cone and try and stack it on the black one like this. Understand I don't expect you to do this today. So one step at a time. Let's try gripping the yellow cone."  _Okay, grip the cone. That seems simple enough. Gripping. She's showing me again. Move my hand to the yellow thing. Okay. Damn, I totally missed, good three inches to the left. Okay, now I have it._

"Close your hand around it Emma."  _Huzzah!_  "Try lifting it up _." Alright here goes, lifting arm and the thing is still in my hand! And now I've dropped it._  "That was very encouraging Emma. Now let's do that again."  _Do what again?_  "I'm going to move the cone closer and I want you to grip it."  _Alright concentrate, you can nail this. Damn. Knocked the thing over with my hand._  "Try lifting your hand higher next time."  _Well, that was basically just punching the thing._

"We're going to do that a few more times, but Emma, understand that your results today are much better than I would have expected. The closer objects are to your hand, the more accurate your coordination is. I'm going to help you extend that distance."  _Just roll with it, she seems optimistic and she seems happy. You must have done something right. Now let's pick up that cone. I want to stack the damn cone._

* * *

"I'm sure you've heard the same spiel from everyone today. Our aim with this first session is to get a complete picture of what you can do and what areas we need to work on. The report from, Storybrooke? Hmm, never heard of it, anyway, they preliminary diagnosed you with ataxic dysarthria?"  _If you expect me to know what those words mean, you're in for a big wake-up call. And it has nothing to do with brain damage._  "It means you know what you want to say, but you don't have the motor coordination to make the words?"

"Y-yeah-ss."  _Are you going to make it easier for me to speak, or at least not as exhausting?_

"You're thinking what you want to say, but it's too much work to talk?"  _You got it, lady. Impressive._  "It's especially hard when you're tired?"  _If by hard you mean impossible, then sure._  "Okay, then talk to me and I'm going to watch you. It will tell me how strong your lips, mouth, and tongue are and I'm going to pay attention to your tone, speed, and lung function. It's all so I know where we should start. Your muscles could be weak or too tense, so let's just figure out which it is."  _Oh crap, she's looking at me. I'm sorry I just totally spaced out there. Is it time for my nap yet? I'm tired._

"Emma?"  _Make eye contact._  "Talk to me."  _About what?_  "How about you tell me about your wife? What's her name?"  _Really thought you could go to speech therapy and not spend the hour talking? Maybe you are crazy._

"R-rrr-rrr."  _Fuck Regina. Your name could not be harder to say._  "R-r-rrrr."  _Seriously woman. You could have been called, I don't know, aaammaa. Don't be stupid, that's not even a real name. Well, she is a fairy tale character, she could have a pretty dumb name._

"Emma? Who's your wife?"  _Didn't we just do this?_

"R-rrrrrrr."  _Fuck it._  "Geeeeeeee-nuh."  _And the gold medal goes to me._

"And how long have you and Regina been married?"

"Y-yyy-oooo, unuh, oooo'd, mehay?"  _Did she really understand or did she just know I was trying to say Regina and just heard enough to go along with?_

"I did. Now, how long have you been married?"  _Well, how much time has passed? I know when we got married. Would that do? Let's see._

"S-s-eeee, heehm, er."  _She doesn't get it._  "i-I mah-rrr-eee Rrrrr, geeee-nuh i-nnuh S-s-eeee-heehm-er."  _Please have understood that. I feel like I can't breathe. I need this to be over._

"It's alright Emma. You're doing great."

_Regina, Regina, REGINA! Why can't I say my wife's name? What is wrong with me? Why am I stuck in this damn chair? I want out of this thing. Fuck, my wrist. God, it hurts so much. Who's touching me? Stop touching me, you can't just grab someone like that. Regina. Please, Regina. Please._

"You're alright now Emma."  _I recognize you. You're here to help me. Can you get Regina for me?_

"I'm Jenny. Do you remember me?"  _Vaguely._ "Just try and take deep breaths with me. In. And out. Good just breathe in the oxygen from the mask. It will make you feel better. I'm putting ice on your hand so it doesn't swell."  _It does feel better but I want Regina, please._

"R-rrrrr-rrrrrr."

"Just rest for now Emma."  _Please teach me how to say her name. Please. I know you can. It's your job, right? It's just one word._

"Emma I'm going to take you downstairs and let the doctor take a look at you, you might need some stitches in your hand. Then we will have lunch and then you can rest for a little while, okay?"

"R-rrrrrr-r-rr-rr-rr."  _Please, just let me see her._

"Emma. You said enough for me to get a good enough diagnosis to start. You and I will work together to strengthen the muscles in your tongue and lips to improve word pronunciation. I will help you to be able to breathe better and improve your speech. You actually have pretty good control, your muscles are just weak. Of all the things that could be wrong, this has the best prognosis."  _How long will it take?_

* * *

"Wow, Wheels, could you look more depressed?"  _Is she referring to me as Wheels? She's got wheels._  "Was that a result of your escape attempt? Seems pretty lame."  _My wrist?_   _Escape from where?_

"Emma, this is Lauren, your roommate."  _Ah good to know I look confused._

"What, you can't make new memories? That explains why you're bunking with me."  _Whatever you say._  "Wheels seems tired. Or drugged."

"Once we've eaten a little something, I'll take Emma to rest."  _Sleep? I like the sound of that. Food not so much._

"Better get to it, looks like she'll pass out right there in her soup. Can't have your patients drowning on the job."  _Drowning. Regina told me something about drowning. And Mom. Is that why I'm here?_

"Open your mouth, Emma."  _What part of I'm not hungry does she not understand? I just want to sleep._

"Not eating huh? Well, I don't know what you think that will achieve. Won't be able to have amazing sex with your wife if you can't control that hand better, and you can't do that unless you're strong, which means you should eat. People are so stupid."  _She's called Lauren right? She knows Regina?_

"R-rrrrrrrrr."

"Yes, Wheels. Regina. Your wife. Who I have to admit is a hot piece of ass, despite the whole highly strung 'I need to control everything' quality. It's like she thinks she's the queen or something, and we should all bow before her. But whatever. Just do what Jenny says and eat your lunch."  _Regina is a queen. She's my queen. Though only because she stole my mother's crown. It's all rather complicated._

* * *

"Emma? It's Jenny. It's time to wake up."  _What now? Why am I waking up next to another woman?_

"Just open your eyes for me, Emma, show me that you're at least pretending to wake up."  _Who is this person? I'm not opening my eyes for you, I'm comfy, and I feel tired, I think more sleep is sensible._

"I completely see your point, Emma. I wouldn't want to get up either. But the faster you do the faster you can see Regina."  _Male. I don't think I know him. Why are two people in my bedroom? Why is it so hard to open my eyes? Regina? You know Regina? Where is she? I don't understand what is happening._

"R-rrrr-rrr-geeee-nuhhh."  _Wow, how tired am I? That was barely a word. Eyes are still shut dumbass. That was so much effort. Where am I? Who are these smiling people? Did they hurt Regina? Another memory curse?_

"It's okay Emma, you're safe. Regina left this for you."  _She doesn't sound threatening or intimidating. Maybe it's not a trick? It's a note, definitely Regina's handwriting._

**You're okay. I promise. You suffered a brain injury, but you're getting better. Let these people help you. I will see you in two hours. I love you more today than ever before. –R– xxx**

"Are you alright Emma?"  _I wish she would stop asking me the same question and saying my name like she knows me. Brain injury? What the hell does that mean? Well, I am in bed and they both look like nurses. Oxygen in my nose, my chest does feel sore. Is this the real world, do I have magic here? Let's try and teleport to Regina. Alright, nothing happened. Wait what the hell is going on with my left side? My arm. This seems familiar. Regina's telling me something. I was in the hospital, in Storybrooke. I drowned. That's why I'm here. I drowned and now I'm brain damaged. That's what she said._

"You're okay Emma. I know it's a lot to process. But just like Regina said we're here to help you. Work with us and you'll get stronger and you won't need us anymore."  _Everything feels different. How long have I been here? I drowned. How did I drown? I know Regina has told me this. And Henry. And Mom. And Dad. Why have they all left me alone here? Am I like this all the time?_

"Emma, it's harder for you to remember because you are in a new place. It will get easier in time. Everything will get easier in time. Just let us help you. We want to take you to physical therapy."  _Well, this guy has patience flowing out of him. Both of them do. They're waiting. Nod at them._  "Okay, Jenny and I are going to get you up into your chair then help you go to the bathroom. Then we will head over to the main building. It's okay if you're confused and don't remember some things. Just try and trust that we're here to help, and Regina personally picked us."  _Regina's seal of approval. Just let them do their thing._

_Drowned. Drowned means dead. I don't remember being dead. Wonder how long… whoa he really meant lift and drop when he said help. Okay, now this woman is changing my shirt. Jenny! Her name is Jenny! Right? Let's see._

"J-jjj-heeeeen-eeeeee."  _Right, you can't talk Emma. Hey, I remember not being able to talk. Earlier with that therapist; she's going to help me._

"Yep, I'm Jenny."  _Huzzah. Why do I feel proud of that? Okay top changed, arm going in a sling. This feels like déjà-vu. The other nurse is back. I don't remember his name._

"Looking good Emma. I really like that red, it suits you. Jenny and I are going to help you go to the toilet, I'll leave for privacy don't worry, then we'll take you over for PT. That sound good?"  _Right. I can't piss by myself. Fuck._

* * *

"Alright Emma, so your mobility is good. It will be even better when we work on that giant knot you have below your shoulder at the end of this session. It must be causing you a lot of pain."  _Actually yes. My neck hurts a bunch too._  "Necks hurts?"

"Y-yeah-ssss."

"Well, a nice long massage for you is coming up once we assess your strength. Sound good?"  _Has anyone ever said no to a massage? Regina's really good at them, so you've got a lot to live up to._

"Same as we did with your legs this morning Emma. We're going to use resistance bands to see where you're at. From your muscle tone, I'm guessing you lifted weights or have a physically demanding job."

"S-s-shhhh-errrr-rrr-efff."

"You're a Sherriff? I better watch myself then, eh?" _Playful banter. Reminds me of the hairdressers. He seems organized, though, with his little chart and everything laid out. He's not treating me like a child, even though I must seem like one. I guess he's fine._

"So you're going to sit on the band and lift your arm up so your shoulder is straight. Don't bend your arm."  _Do you have any idea how many times I've done exercises like this?_  "Don't push too hard, keep your form, don't bend the elbow."  _It does feel a little weird that it's not in my hand but it's not too bad._

"Wow, you really are strong."  _Maybe it's a compensatory thing, since the left one is dead the right one got all its power. I don't think it works like that. In fact, that just sounds ridiculous. It's good you can't talk, you would have made that joke and this guy would think you were a complete idiot. Oh, we're changing bands again. Fun times. At least I can do this. Doesn't involve too much concentration._

"Is that a smile? Are you, what? Actually having fun?"

"N-noooo-t s-s-sooo aaaaaa-d."

"Well, I'd like to see that more often. There's no reason if you work on your motor skills upstairs that we can't significantly improve your function."  _Okay, that's two for two on arm optimism. Sounds like that will be the easiest thing to fix. Should I call it fix? How about useful? People here like the word functional. Sounds negative to me. I prefer normal. Hmm. Will anything ever feel normal?_

* * *

"Is that right Emma?"  _He knows I wasn't listening. It had to be obvious._  "You used Prozac before? 40mg a day, for nearly three years?"  _Right medical history. Regina must have given it to him, Storybrooke didn't know about this. She must think I need it._  "Did it work for you previously?"  _I guess so. I mean I felt less like all I wanted to do was die._  "Well I would recommend we start you on 10mg a day and we will build up from there. You'll have some tolerance so we should get to a therapeutic dose quite quickly."  _Okay, I know I had a total crying freak out with the woman next door, and I said I wanted them and that's why I'm talking to you, but I'm not depressed. I know what that feels like and that's not me. Not yet anyway._

"Does that sound like a good starting point, Emma?" _It was her fault, asking me how I was feeling. She made me feel like a monkey. A smart monkey sure. You know, one they have on display to show people that primates have intelligence. Point at the chart Emma so I know how you feel. Where on the scale would you say expresses your feelings? Ridiculous. Let's talk about how terrible your life is now. And then be surprised that I cried. It doesn't mean I need those._

"N-nnn-oooo."  _Thank goodness I could say that._

"You don't want medication?"  _No, I'm not there yet._

"I'm not going to force you, Emma. That's not how this works and you know that. But I strongly recommend it. I'm not going to lie to you. The areas of your brain that are damaged, combined with your history, put you in at high risk for developing another bout of major depression. I've read your notes, it wasn't a fun time for you at all. I want to work with you and keep ahead of it. I don't want it to inhibit your recovery."  _But it's different now. I have Henry. I have Regina. Please don't tell me I don't have the mental strength to do this on my own._

"If you don't want them, as I say that's fine. I do want you to attend group tomorrow, though. I know it will be frustrating that you can't communicate well, but I think listening to other residents will be beneficial. Everyone is different and their struggles are unique, but everyone in this building wants to help you overcome them."  _I just want to talk to Regina. She knows what to say. That's not fair, though. Can't expect her to fix this, I have to fix this. Maybe I'm not depressed yet, but I'm not happy. I can't let Regina see me the way I was before. I'm being ridiculous. I know these can only be good for me. It doesn't change my personality at all. I take drugs right now to maintain my blood pressure, others so I can fight infections. This isn't any different. He's a doctor, he thinks I need them to get better. I have to get better for Regina. We can't live like this._

"R-rrrr-rrr-nuh."  _How can she even still love me? I'm not the woman she married._

"You can see her in a few minutes. She's downstairs waiting for you."  _Please let me see her. She can help me._ "Emma, I don't want you to suffer, and in my professional opinion you already are, so please think about it some more."  _Just take the pills, Emma. 10mg is nothing, you already know it doesn't change you one bit. Just nod._

"Y-yeah-sss."  _He's going to think I mean I'll think about it, not help me. How do I get this across in a few words?_ "H-heeeee-lllllll m-meeeeee."

"I'm just the drug guy Emma."  _Warm smile._  "I'll always be here if you need something to help you get the most out of your rehabilitation."  _He doesn't get it. Am I actually begging for Prozac here? Oh, the irony._

"T-taa-kkke."  _Please let that have been enough, I'm so tired. Is Regina here?_

"You'd like to try adding Prozac to your regime Emma? Is that what you're saying?"  _Yes, thank goodness. I can't feel like that and do all of this at the same time._  "Okay, I'll make sure it's added to your morning meds. I'm going to write you a note, so you remember why you're taking them. Does this seem reasonable?"

**You're taking Prozac because you want to get better.**

_Yeah, that's pretty much spot on. I don't want Regina to leave me._

* * *

"Hi, beautiful."  _She seems so happy. I really do love this woman._  "I've missed you today."  _She's looking me over, frowning at the graze on my arm. Concern._ "Why are you crying darling?"  _I missed you too, please don't leave me._

"Psychotherapy was a little rough; it's good that you're here."  _Mr. Hollywood thought I couldn't hear. Thank goodness he has left us alone. Regina's back, wiping away my tears. And now inspecting my arm._

"I spoke to Dr. Meyers a few minutes ago. He told me what happened. Are you alright?"  _Yeah, I'm fine._  "Shame we're not in Storybrooke. I could've cleared this right up. Just a little scratch."  _Attempting humor. I'm sorry I'm just not ready._  "He talked to everyone you worked with today. They were all impressed with your abilities and determination."  _She thinking about what to say next. I must look like a fragile flower, the petals ready to blow away._  "Emma tell me what's wrong. I don't care how long it takes."

"D-d-doo uuu-oooo s-st-iiiii-ll l-luv-vvv m-meee?"  _Wide eyes. Tearing up, she wants to tell me no, but thinks that would be cruel._ "I-iii k-kaaa-n-ttt dooo neh-neey-hi-hi-hinggg."

"Emma. Listen to me. I love you. I will always love you. You're my True Love. I ache when I'm not near you."  _But you left me._  "I will always be here for you. There's no need to cry."

"Please tell me they ordered happy pills stat for you."  _I definitely know you. You pissed Regina off._

"Good afternoon Lauren. If you wouldn't mind keeping your insults to yourself for a few minutes."  _She's noticed me nodding._  "Emma, they prescribed you anti-depressants?"  _Nod back, no lies from Regina._  "Are you okay with that?"  _Actually yes. I suddenly feel so very sad, I thought seeing you would make everything better, but all I can't think about is everything we have lost._  "Well if you're okay with it then maybe it's for the best."  _Please hug me now. Thank goodness._ "It won't be as bad as before. You have me. And Henry. And your parents."

"Well, that's great. Just remember Wheels, this place is like a prison. Do what they say, when they say and you might get out early for good behavior."  _Did she just wink at me? But she's right. It's how this feels._

"Come on Lauren, let's leave these two alone."  _Thanks, Mr. Hollywood._   _Finally, I have Regina all to myself._

"This isn't prison Emma. It's college remember?"  _Maybe a mix? I even have homework with this thing in my hand. Why do I have it in my hand, what is it for? I don't even remember being given it. But it's squidgy. Am I supposed to squeeze it maybe? Regina's still crouched down in front of me. She looks so tired. Is she tired because of me? I'm tired, maybe it's just late? What even happens now?_

"Emma _?" I wasn't listening. Does she realize that I wasn't listening?_  "Are you hungry Emma?"  _Not really._  "Thirsty?"  _Yes. Probably from all that adorable crying I just did. God, what is wrong with me? Stop it Emma._

"How about we go for a wander outside and drink this, then we will come back in for dinner?"  _She purposefully didn't say walk and how does she magically have a juice carton in her hand?_  "We could call Henry and you could listen to him?"  _And not talk back. Every kid's dream. Wait, a blanket on my legs. Where did that come from? Does she have like a Mary Poppins bag or something?_

"Come on, let's go look at the flowers."  _I was cold. How did she know I was cold?_

* * *

"Do you just want to keep watching this or for me to put something else on?"  _Constant repeats of Friends is good. I like how you giggle at the jokes I've heard probably hundreds of times._  "I think you should sleep, Emma. You've been fighting it for hours. It will just be as long a day tomorrow."  _Well, you'd be half asleep too if someone was stroking your hair all night. I am tired, though. My body is sore actually. My neck especially. Damn it hurts to rotate it even._

"Subtle, Emma. Let me."  _What just happened? I was comfy, why are you making me sit up, you just said I should sleep. Woah, that feels so good. Ahhhh!_  "Sorry! Emma, you must be in pain, there's a giant knot down your back. Did they even massage this today?"  _Yeah, he did for a while. I remember that._  "Okay, well, I'll do it every night too until it feels a bit better."  _This feels wonderful. I love you so much. If I was a little more mobile I think we both know where this would end up. When was the last time we even had sex? Is she ever going to want to have sex with me again? My hands don't work, my tongue isn't strong enough to talk, let alone get her off. Oh, my god. One of my favorite things was making that woman lose her mind and she did the same for me. Even after we had sex, I wanted more. Her nipples, her tongue, her scent._

"Emma _." Soothing, she's stopped rubbing._  "Emma, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just trying to help. I didn't know you were so sore."  _What is she talking about?_ "I'll get some ice, calm everything down a little."  _No, please don't leave me, please don't. Stay. Where are you going? I didn't mean it! I'm sorry, I'll be better. I'll be better. I'll be better._

"Emma! Stop."  _She came back. Ice pack on my wrist._  "You need to stop hurting yourself. It's going to be hard tomorrow to pick up cones if it's swollen _." I don't even know why it hurts._   _What did I do?_  "I know you're tired and it's especially difficult to talk at the moment, but please tell me what you're thinking. I want to help you."

"S-ssss-eee. S-ss-eee."  _Shit Regina, please fill this in for me._

"Sex?"  _Yes._  "You want to have sex?"  _Well, not right now._  "Oh. You think we won't be able to have sex again?"  _Yes. And then you'll leave me._  "Emma, you forget that I am perfectly capable and we can share emotions and experiences. And we both know that I get so aroused by feeling you come all over my fingers that a light breeze is all I need to join you."  _But it's not the same. I want to be your wife._  "Then use that as your motivation. If you want to, what was your phrase? Fuck me senseless? Then you need to work on your hand and strengthen that tongue of yours. I'm more than willing to help you track your progress."  _She is literally using sex as a reward. Sex with Regina. She's being flirty. This is ridiculous. I feel like I can't even breathe, let alone give my queen what she deserves._

"Emma, I need to you calm down a little. Or Mark will be alerted to help you breathe."  _She's rubbing my back. When did I even start crying again?_  "Come on Emma, nice and slow. In… and out."

"S-sss-oooo-rrrrr-eeeee."

"Nothing to apologize for. It's quite the compliment that you're this upset about our sex life."  _Regina always knows what to say._  "Good darling. Nice, slow deep breaths. Starting to feel better?"  _Yeah, the whole not being able to breathe thing isn't that great. Thank you for helping me._

"I think it's time for you to sleep. It's been a hard day."  _Ah, there's no arguing with this one. She's up and off the bed. Pillows rearranged. And there's the ice being removed._

"I think you should sleep on your left tonight, help your neck a little?" _Are you actually giving me a choice here?_  "Do you need to use the bathroom?"  _No._  "Thirsty?"  _No. God woman. You're treating me like I'm five._  "Okay, then let's lie down."  _Well, that was graceful. Pillow between my legs. One against my back, and now one for me to hug. She's done this before. Ah, my baby blanket. Because that doesn't make me feel pathetic._

"Henry can't wait for the weekend to come so he can come see you. And your parents are as insufferable as ever. Your father does a better job of hiding it. I particularly dislike that we live in the era of the text message."  _She's attempting humor. The appropriate response is to smile. Okay, if your plan is for this hand rubbing to send me to sleep, it is most definitely working._

* * *

"Sorry, it's after nine; you're going to have to leave."  _Male._

"I know, I just find it so hard to leave her. This will be our first night apart. In the hospital I was with her all the time; she was never alone."  _She sounds so sad, why is Regina sad?_

"R-rrrr-rrr."  _How tired am I that I can't talk?_

"Shhh Emma, go back to sleep."  _How do you expect that to happen if you're sad and there's a guy in my room? Gentle strokes to my arm, she really does want me to sleep. Don't be lazy Emma, figure out what's going on._

"W-ww."  _What's wrong with me? Am I that drunk or something?_  "W-www-rr."

"Everything is fine darling. Just go back to sleep for me."  _Okay, she seems more upset now. Wake up, Emma._

"Regina I'm sorry but you really need to leave, I already gave you extra time."  _Seriously, who is this guy? Why is he telling my wife what to do?_

"Please. Until she goes back to sleep _." Is Regina pleading with someone? Someone has power over Regina? This I need to see. Oh hey, there you are. What's wrong?_

"Emma, I have to go. And I need you to just go back to sleep. I promise I will be back tomorrow at five."  _Wait. Go where? Back where? What are you talking about?_  "Please close your eyes, Emma. Please."  _You expect me to sleep when you sound like that? More like I'm going to hug you and you're going to tell me what's wrong. I just can't seem to move._

"Emma please, for me. Just stop."  _Okay ,I stopped. Talk to me, though. Composing inhale. She's choosing her words._  "Emma you're sick and you need to sleep. Mark is a nurse here and he's going to get you anything you need."  _If I'm sick why are you leaving me? What did I do? The woman I married would never leave me. It's why we got married, we- I drowned. I hit my head and I drowned. She looked like that when she told me._

"It's okay. You're getting better."  _Tone completely changed. Was she hoping that I wouldn't remember?_

"S-sss-ooo-k."  _Show her you understand and she can leave. Doesn't need to feel guilty. There we go. A good reassuring squeeze of the hand. You're a grown woman, you can sleep by yourself in…a hospital?_

"You're at the rehabilitation facility."  _Right, the place with the cool gym. Look like you want to sleep. Maybe throw in a smile and a squeeze._  "You're really okay?"  _Smile, nod, squeeze. Throw this in and it should be convincing._

"L-lll-u-vvv y-y-ooooo."  _That's got to sell it right?_

"I love you so much, darling. I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?"  _She seems less distressed. It's working._  "You're so strong, Emma."  _Yep super strong, can lift a plastic cone and everything. She isn't leaving. Make it easier for her and just sleep. Shouldn't be hard I am exhausted and comfy. Hmm, really comfy. And the hand stroking is back. Now she's humming. It's the song I played for her, for her birthday. She was smiling, we were happy. What were the words again?_

_No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love._


	11. Operation Mama Bear

"Are you ready for this? Because your family is exhausting. Are they going to be the same as last weekend with the singing to birds and the incessant need to bake muffins? And you need to tell your wife to understand the place is clean and I don't need the TV remote to be at a right angle to the table," Lauren frankly stated as they waited by the open door for Emma's visitors.

"S-sorrr-eee." Was Emma's only available response. She too was dreading the energy this weekend was going to take. She was feeling better, strategic naps were not going to be an available defense mechanism.

"I feel the same as you both, but they are Emma's family. And I won't apologize for wanting things a certain way," Regina quipped as she joined the pair by the doors after finishing straightening Emma's belongings. Emma couldn't help but smile. She too had felt annoyance at Regina's idiosyncrasies when she had first moved in. They had agreed to disagree. Emma would try but Regina wouldn't get angry if the toothpaste had been squeezed in the middle some mornings. There were bigger things to argue about.

"What time will Tom be arriving? You said he was coming this weekend, correct? It would be nice to put a face to the name," Regina asked as she distractedly stroked Emma's hair.

"He'll be here in time for the barbecue. He's bringing the bread and beer at my request. Oh god. She's unpacking Tupperware. What has she baked this week? Does she think you aren't fed here? The ducks are even sick of her baking," Lauren scoffed as she stared at Snow walking up the path to their duplex. She gave up and rolled herself away from the lounge into the open-plan kitchen, purposefully moving the remote on her way.

"Yo Wheels? Want some coffee? It's not a migraine trigger, right? Don't want a repeat of that, you looked like death." Lauren saw the glare Regina cast her way and by completely misinterpreting the social cue added, "Oh, sorry your Majesty. Would you like some coffee too?"

"Yes thank you. Some coffee would be appreciated." Emma and Regina smiled at each other as they enjoyed their last few seconds alone until the evening descended.

"I-I L-l-u-vvvv y-yoouu." With her declaration, Emma indicated that she wanted nothing more than for Regina to kiss her. As their lips locked Emma raised her hand to behind Regina's head, forcing the brunette to deepen the kiss until mouths parted and the entrance Emma's tongue was searching for was relinquished.

"Gross stuff is banned!" Henry barked as he trundled into the living room like he lived there. Once his moms finally parted Henry beamed at his mother. "Ma! You look so much better!" He bellowed as he energetically hugged the blonde.

"Oxygen's all gone. It's a good look," David stated as he too forcefully embraced his daughter while holding his son in his other arm. Snow merely smiled as she did the same after placing the containers of food on the kitchen counter. She noted the life that was starting to dance behind Emma's eyes.

"H-h-iii," Emma said with an authentic smile as she used her hand manipulate the large ball on her wheelchair joystick to maneuver herself towards the kitchen counter to investigate Snow's offerings.

"Wow, Emma. That's amazing," Snow said, astonished. "I mean. No wow. I stand by wow." Emma was confused until she realized that Regina had told her last week she couldn't really get her palm to push the yellow ball in the desired direction, or with enough force to actually move.

"You must love being able to control your own chair," David stated rhetorically as he closed the door.

"Oh yeah, it was hilarious the other day when she went left for four minutes. Had real control then, right Wheels?" Lauren remarked as started to get the cups out of the cupboard. "Coffee?"

"Yes, please. You're looking well too, Lauren. Did you have a good week?" Snow was being genuine. Regina had spoken of how well she was bonding with her daughter and had taken care of her before Regina had arrived during her migraine.

"Except for the inability to walk thing, I'm just peachy," Lauren retorted.

"I think you're looking for this one," David said after he watched Emma inspect the tubs on the counter. He held a small red-topped container in front of his daughter's eyes, which immediately lit up. "Granny made it specially. She said she added an extra layer of icing, just for you." Emma reached for it greedily and after a few feeble attempts at opening it turned to Regina, and with the most convincing puppy dog eyes she could muster, begged her wife to open her present.

"You and your baked products." Emma sighed happily as she breathed in the aroma of the container Regina had now opened.

* * *

The rest of the morning had gone exactly to plan. The spring weather in Maine had provided the perfect backdrop for a family day in the garden. Each duplex had its own backyard for this purpose. Complete with table and chairs, a barbecue, flowers, and trees for shade. Lauren intermittently came and sat with the family, firmly believing that Snow was Emma's sister, thus David her brother-in-law. She was glad out of this group of people it was Emma that had drowned and was her roommate. Small doses of the rest were enough. As Snow began recounting a tale of a lesson plan gone array, Regina was jealous that Lauren could just leave, with no excuse shared.

"So, how is Belle getting on as Mayor? I haven't asked in a few days, I've been busy remodeling." Regina finally had to divert the conversation to something more interesting. Her statement had peaked Emma's interest on several levels.

"Y-you-rr nooo-ottt M-may-orr?" Emma enquired.

"I took a leave of absence. So Belle is filling in for now. When you're home I'll let the people decide who they want. It's time for a real election." Regina's statement surprised everyone.

"It would be weird if you're not Mayor, Mom. Besides wouldn't we have to move?" Henry finally asked breaking the uneasy silence.

"No. The house is bought and paid for. It's ours forever," Regina stated as if it was nothing.

"Exactly how much money do we have?" Henry wondered aloud.

"Enough, Henry. We have enough," Regina stated simply.

"R-rr-modd-elll-ing?" Emma said with better diction than she had managed since her accident.

"The house, Emma. Remember us talking about what to do? Move or remodel the ground floor? It's being extended and our bedroom will be there, complete with a large master bath."

"F-forr meee?" Emma wondered, before realizing that obviously, it was for her.

"Yes. Well, for us. I made a few alterations. A larger closet, for example. We looked at the plans a few days ago. I wouldn't do anything like that without your approval. I promise." Emma's silence worried Regina and she reached forward to grab Emma's hand, seeking reassurance her blonde wasn't rethinking her blessing.

"I-i-ttssss ooo-kaay," Emma said brightly.  _A new bathroom would be wonderful. Ground floor bedroom, a great idea_.

"Hope Emma is this agreeable when she hears Regina has the hospital PT staff retraining so she can come home sooner. Mayor or not, that woman knows how to get things done," David whispered to Snow, who could do nothing more than nod silently. David's statement was accurate.

As Regina and Emma began talking about the house a lean man with light brown hair, most likely in his early thirties emerged from the back door. He wore faded jeans and a buttoned-down teal shirt that exemplified the hazel in his eyes.

"Hi, I'm Tom, Lauren's husband. It's great to finally meet you all." He smiled, showing his perfect teeth.

"Hi, I'm Snow, Emma's sister." She warmly greeted him, without hesitation.

"Snow? As in Snow White?" Tom had a twinkle in his eye, he liked the joke.

"Precisely. This is my husband-"

"Prince Charming I presume?" Tom was simply having fun with the couple.

"You can just call me David," He playfully replied as he stood and they shared a firm handshake.

"You must be Regina? Emma? And this young man must be Henry?" Tom enquired as he confidently introduced himself to everyone. "You're looking well Emma. Lauren talks of you fondly." Tom was trying to establish a rapport, but Emma just nodded and smiled, leaving Tom unsure of how to proceed.

"I brought my car up to the front, David would you mind helping me carry in the supplies?" Tom was seeking a way to fit into this large intimidating group.

"Of course. Wait, you can bring the car to the door? The guy at the front gate said we had to park and walk up to the duplexes," David questioned, annoyed they had carted everything up through the main buildings.

"Oh, the weekend guy just says that so you'll slip him a few bucks. Everyone is corrupt these days don't you know?" Tom's wide smile returned. David seemed like someone he could talk to.

* * *

"Hey, Ma. Do you want a burger or a hot-dog?" Henry asked, bouncing over from the barbecue to where his moms were relaxing under a tree.

"Bring her both please Henry," Regina said as she leaned in and kissed her wife. She knew Emma was beginning to tire and needed the energy boost from food before further conversation was likely. "Oh Henry, go inside and grab Emma's cup, it's on the drying rack, please."  _Ah yes, my special personal grown-up colorful cup,_ Emma chuckled as she thought of it.

Emma maneuvered to the table, fully decked in food, drinks, and plates. Emma sat at one end, Lauren the other. Without having to expel any energy Emma's plate was filled with salad, a burger complete with pickles and a hot-dog with mustard. She indicated ice tea should be poured into her cup. Tom watched in complete fascination as Regina effortlessly lifted the hot-dog to Emma's mouth and told Emma when to chew and swallow. For the most part, Emma's eating was improving each day, but swallowing was something she could never remember to do. Regina had become an expert on when she should tell her wife to do so. After the second bite, Emma declared she was thirsty.

"Okay, then lift the cup in your hand up. Great. Now put the red part in your mouth. Perfect. Now drink." Emma followed Regina's directions flawlessly. Henry sat with his mouth completely open as he stared in astonishment at his mother.

"How? I-I mean, excuse me, I have to. I'll be right back," He stammered as he excused himself rapidly, constantly staring at his mother, still holding her primary-colored cup.

Emma watched her mother feed Neal a meal of strained veggies mixed with milk. Half his lunch was down his front. She looked at herself and noticed she hadn't spilled a drop on her clothes. It might have been for just one meal, but in this moment, she was beating her brother.  _Take that little man. Your big sister is going to smash each of your milestones before you._  Emma turned to Regina and smiled. Her wife was eating a homemade burger at a picnic table with her family. You had to see it to believe it.

* * *

"So have you always been like this or is this a new trait picked up after Emma's accident?" Regina looked at him questioningly, unsure of what aspect of her personality he was referring to. "The innate need for order and the desire to control everything?" Tom clarified.

"Oh. Sorry. Yes, I like things done a certain way. I didn't realize I was particular in the way I made coffee," Regina added as she wiped down the counter after having cleaned it for the third time that day.

The pair stood alone in the kitchen as everyone else was involved in a particularly competitive game of bocce ball outside, even Emma who was keeping score. Regina had been watching Tom all afternoon and noted how he agreed to do anything that would either take him away from Lauren or ensure the couple was never alone. He now stood shifting his weight continuously from one foot to the next, as though his soles were on fire. In reality, Regina assumed he was anxious about something.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He returned the questioning glare. "Whatever it is that making you fidget the way you are."

"I know it's awful to think it, let alone say it, but I feel as though you will understand. That woman out there, she isn't my wife. She looks, sounds and smells like her, but that isn't the woman I married. She isn't who I was starting a family with. I find it hard to even be around her. Sometimes… sometimes I wish she had actually died, then all of this would be over. I could grieve and move on," Tom confessed without hesitation. He too had been sizing Regina up all afternoon and decided that she was not the type to gossip, but respected privacy.

"I understand what you mean, Tom. Though I will never wish Emma dead." Regina had suspected Tom was harboring the feelings he just expressed, so she wasn't shocked by his words.

"Emma seems like she's all there, though? From what I saw anyway."

"Yes, her personality is intact, though this situation is taking its toll on her. Today is a particularly good day," Regina observed as she saw Emma smiling with Lauren and Henry as David squandered a clear scoring opportunity with a horrific throw.

A thick cloud of silence fell upon the pair as they merely stood listening to the coffee percolate as they stared at their wives conversing in the backyard. Regina had no desire to continue this conversation. She didn't know how to comfort a man who didn't want to be with his wife because she was injured.

"I lie to her now," Tom admitted quietly, making Regina respond with nothing more than a confused look. "I didn't before. I wasn't here last weekend, as you know. I said I had to work. I spent the weekend hiking. Camping."

"Oh. Well, Lauren came with us last Sunday. Henry, our son, he finds her personality, refreshing? I think she's officially the best part of Emma's condition to him. My point being, she wasn't lonely."

"No, your family seem rather, attentive?" Tom didn't know how else to describe the Charmings diplomatically.

"They're Emma's family, not mine. We all live in a small town, they used to see each other every day. It's been a difficult adjustment," Regina said, deflecting.

"That's why you're here every night?"

"No. I simply can't bear to be apart from my wife." Regina found it hard enough to be in their bed each night, looking at the empty space that should have been filled with messy blonde curls, with more mattress being taken by her small body than Regina thought possible. Not making the forty-five-minute drive to have dinner with her was unthinkable. Emma was working so hard all day to be better. The least she could do was sit in her car and hit cruise control.

"How do you manage it, though? Being here and maintaining work and other relationships?" Tom wondered. He had found it easy to suspend his life when Lauren was in the hospital, but now that she was here he needed more in his life than simply caring for his brain-damaged wife.

"I took a leave of absence, and Emma and Henry are all that matter to me. I really don't feel the burden that you seem to be struggling with," Regina responded flatly. She didn't care for how personal this conversation was becoming.

"I didn't either. I just found myself leaving one weekend, around two months into her stay here, feeling relieved that I got to go home. That I wouldn't have to deal with her and my guilt for another five days."

"Your guilt?" Tom had picked the one thing that Regina too struggled with.

"Lauren was in the car that night because I forgot to pick up her prenatal vitamins."

"She was pregnant?"

"Yes. Almost six months. Our son lived four days," Tom said sadly, visibly upset as he thought about his son struggling in the NICU.

"Guilt over the circumstances is something I can relate to. I did something earlier that day that I shouldn't have that made me arrive home several minutes later than I would have otherwise. If I had those few minutes back, I would have found her sooner, her life could be so much different." Regina wasn't sure why she was being more honest with this near stranger. Somehow though his honestly instigated the same response from her. That cup of coffee. That one tiny decision.

"Lauren said Emma drowned? You guys have a pool or something?"

"Bath. Emma slipped, hit her head, and drowned in the bath."

Silence.

"You always assume that the big, life-altering moments are the ones you plan for, build up to. Marriage, children, profession, house. You never think-"

"It's the little innocuous decisions you make every day that can cost you everything." Regina couldn't help but finish Tom's thought.

"A bath. Vitamins. Suddenly everything is different. We as people are different. I don't like myself anymore. I've become a callous, detached, shell of a man. I don't know how to get back to the person I used to be," Tom quietly conceded, no longer needing Regina to participate in his confession.

"I'm sorry about your son. I can't imagine how difficult that would have been." Regina thought of when Henry had died, if only briefly. That pain had only lasted minutes, but it was enough to make Regina know she never wanted to experience it again.

"I thought when Lauren woke up and discovered what had happened it would crush her. But she simply said 'okay' and moved on. She didn't cry because she can't cry. That woman out there used to be a Deacon at our church, who would cry with members of the congregation over their problems. Now, she incapable of feeling anything at all."

"The day I met her, she seemed lonely. I don't know how it translates in her brain, but it seemed like she misses you. Emma mentioned that Lauren seemed a little different yesterday afternoon compared to the morning, perhaps she was in her own way, excited to see you?" Regina had learned that body language said more than words. She and Emma had long conversations with only a few syllables exchanged.

"Well, maybe she is in the right place. Maybe it's working and I just need to be patient."

"Yes. Emma has made remarkable improvements in the two weeks she's been here."

"When will you stop coming every night?"

"The day I take her home." Defiant. Nothing would change Regina's mind on that one.

"You're far stronger than I," Tom admitted, already having acknowledged that fact earlier as he watched Regina feed Emma her lunch.

"Different situation. I'm not looking to Emma to grieve with me. We didn't lose a child. Not an actual one anyway." Tom looked at Regina completely confused. "We had talked about adopting. Emma wasn't ready. Didn't think it was fair to Henry. But she was slowly warming to the idea after our lives calmed down. She was seeing a family in a small town as a future she wanted."

"You don't think she will want that again?"

"In time. Perhaps. Right now Emma feels like a child. My frustration is I want to help, I want to do things for her, but I have to let her struggle so she will get better. It's hard to balance. Emma doesn't like to ask for help, but sometimes she needs it. So I'm constantly guessing if I'm doing the right thing."

"Well, I've known you both for about two hours. The way she ignores everyone else and stares at you, I'd say whatever you're doing is working."

* * *

What do you think Ems?" David asked excitedly as Emma maneuvered her chair through the complex's front doors. "Like the color?" David was beaming, he was proud of his SUV.

"F-ff-oor m-eeee?" Emma was horrified.  _Another change that people had to make because I had been careless_.

"Well, the truck needed replacing. I hit a deer the other night that I swear was determined to kill me. It was like it was possessed or something. Besides, I thought it was about time I got a sensible vehicle for the family. This way we can all fit in one car comfortably. No one will be squashed in the back," David said trying desperately to ease the pain he had clearly caused. He should have been more sensitive. He wondered when Regina would remind Emma that she had done the same thing.

"Come on Ma, it's cool. It's even got screens so we can watch DVDs in the back. Means we don't have to listen to grandparents, or in your case, parents," Henry said brightly trying to lift his mother's mood.

"Are you going to let me lift you out of the chair Ems? Or do you want me to get the staff to do it? I'll make everyone else look away, so it will just be you and me." Although David was trying to cover up the previous misstep and doubted his sensitive side would have an effect, Emma surprised him, with a subtle nod. Fortunately, Henry had overheard and promptly led the other women away to look at the architecture of the building. David was strong and easily lifted Emma, who was lighter than ever before, into her back seat.

"If you need anything, please just ask us, okay?" David desperately wanted his daughter to show any sign that she didn't detest any aspect of her life right now. Emma's responding nod was ineffectual at convincing her father that she would ever ask anyone for anything.

"She didn't eat this morning?" Snow asked Regina, trying to assess how low her daughter's mood was.

"No, nothing," Regina sadly confirmed.

"Did something happen? She was fine last night when we left," Snow pondered, concerned.

"Nothing at all, she was happy when she went to sleep, then she woke up like this." Regina struggled constantly with the unpredictability of Emma's mood and today was no different.

"Well, let's hope some fresh air will help," Snow said as she saw David and Emma were ready to go. Regina could do nothing more than despondently nod. She knew it was going to be a long, hard day.

* * *

Emma hadn't spoken for the entire fifteen-minute car journey from the facility to the boardwalk by the pier. She merely looked at the passing suburban homes, commercial buildings, and people going about their Sunday lives. Henry had managed only briefly to engaged his mother in a mundane conversation about shops he wanted them to visit to break the thick silence that Emma's despair had filled the vehicle with.

Once out in the fresh air, the family taking in the tourist attraction as a unit, Emma's demeanor didn't change. Her hand wasn't cooperating, so she was being pushed by Henry, while David pushed her brother Neal beside her.  _He's going to walk before me_ , Emma thought as she glanced at him. Emma could hear Snow and Regina chatting about the weather of all things behind her. She had condemned Regina to a lifetime of banality with people she at times could barely tolerate. They finally stopped by an empty bench as Henry declared he wanted ice cream. Snow organized Neal and started to feed him a bottle, while Regina tried without asking to assess if Emma was thirsty, or would finally eat something. She knew it wasn't likely, Emma wouldn't want to be helped in public.

"They have frozen lemonade, would you like one?" Regina tentatively asked.  _Great, either I say yes and have no idea what to do with it, or say no and then she'll feel like she can't please me. Path of least resistance. Give her something to do._

"S-sha-are?" Regina gave Emma a warm smile as she kissed her cheek before walking to the kiosk to join their son.

"It's a beautiful day don't you think Emma?"  _Great small talk Mom, I'll just nod, maybe Neal will take her attention and she won't bother me anymore. Wow, she gave up trying to talk to me already. Couldn't have actually wanted to talk to me, to begin with._

"Alright darling, I tried it, it tastes pretty good. Still want some?" Regina asked her wife as she sat on the bench next to her wheelchair. Emma, however, didn't say anything. Regina's heart was breaking as she took Emma in. She assumed the intensity of being with so many people was just too much, she had never seemed so down when it was just them.

"How about we drink this and then Henry and I will take Neal for a wander while you and your parents spend some time together? Would that be better?" Regina asked as she transferred some lemonade to Emma's easy-grip cup.  _Now Regina and Henry don't want to be near me either._

Regina helped Emma grip her cup in her hand as she positioned the red straw. It was a practiced routine that helped Emma connect the steps.

"Okay, now lift and put the red part in your mouth," Regina said quietly so the rest of the family couldn't hear. Regina used her free hand as a safety net below the cup as she saw it shaking in Emma's hand. The blonde's control was far worse today. "Now suck and swallow," Regina added encouragingly. As Emma slowly consumed some lemonade their eyes locked, exchanging nothing more than love. The moment though was short-lived. Emma's hand shook and she lost control of the vessel, causing it to fall heavily onto the side of her wheelchair, leading the lid to separate and its contents to spill all over Regina's lap.

"F-fff-uuckkk," Emma snapped as she tried to grab the already fallen cup.

"It's okay, it's okay. It's just juice. It will clean," Regina said attempting to calm Emma's obvious agitation. Snow handed Regina some wet wipes as Emma managed to move her chair so she was now facing away from them as she started to cry uncontrollably.

"Emma. It's just lemonade. It doesn't matter," Regina said as she crouched in front of her to be at eye level. Emma tried to move her chair again to get some space but in her emotional state her coordination deteriorated and it led to her simply banging her hand against the armrest.

"Emma, look at me. Talk to me. It's just me and you. Tell me what you're thinking, what I can do."  _Regina, you can't do anything. Nothing is going to make this better. Look at you. These ridiculous family weekends we're having to endure. You're covered in my drink because I can't hold a damn cup. Look at the state of you._

"Talk to us sweetheart. Just be honest," Snow interrupted as she started cleaning Emma's hand and chair.

Henry and David gave the women distance, assuming the pair would be better at comforting Emma as she continued to cry. Before the accident, neither had seen Emma shed a tear and it was unsettling to both as it only exemplified their helplessness. Once they sensed Emma was calming enough to actually speak they moved close enough to hear the Savior's words.

"I-I'm s-soo-rrreee I-I d-di-id t-thi-ssss t-tooo aaallll o-fff u-ssss," Emma stuttered out over the course of a minute.

"Emma. You didn't do anything to any of us. There is nothing to apologize for. Honestly. We all feel the same," Regina said comfortingly.

"I-I c-caan-n'ttt d-doooo aaanny-th-th-th-iing," Emma reasoned.  _I don't feel like part of the family, I don't feel like I am anything but a lump everyone had to change their lives to accommodate._

"Can I have some time alone with Ma? I think it's time I introduced her to Operation Mama Bear," Henry interjected. Regina and the Charmings each looked at Henry inquisitively as he pulled out a hardback book from his backpack that he had insisted on bringing with him. "Guys, just give me five minutes?"

"Let's go and get Neal a balloon," David finally said to Snow and Regina, relenting to his grandson's wishes. He bent down to his daughter's eyeline and made sure she listened to his next words. "I think I speak for all of us when I say you're not useless Emma. We have never, nor will ever, think of you that way." Emma whimpered slightly showing her resolve had been broken and the trio slowly walked away, leaving son and mother alone.

Henry positioned himself where his mother had recently sat after turning Emma's chair around so they were sitting side by side. Fortunately, Snow was an expert cleaner.

"So I named the Operation just after you drowned, so the name is a little outdated. I went for bear, as in hibernation. It was when I was just hoping you would wake up. But I think it still applies." Emma nodded along. She hadn't really thought about how hard it had been for everyone as she had just laid unconscious in bed.

"It sort of started it as my way of dealing with all, learning the terms the doctors were saying, understanding what was happening to you. What to expect as you got better. I found journal articles on other people who went through what you have. I read blogs and talked on forums to other people who are suffering the way you are. I wrote it all down in here. I wrote to you too and you can read those entries later. Sometimes I read this so I can be comforted by seeing how far you've come in such a short period of time. I hope it can do the same for you." Emma was astonished at what Henry had been going through and that he was sharing it all with her.

"So the first pages are calendars. Here, day one, the day you drowned. Every time you made progress I wrote it down. So see here on day six, that's when you opened your eyes for the first time." Emma noticed he had written 'heart stopped – 9 minutes' on day two.

"T-t-ooo?" Emma asked raising an eyebrow as she searched Henry's eyes for the truth.

"Yes, Ma. You died again about twelve hours later. You had a seizure and your heart stopped. Mom and your parents were there. This isn't meant to upset you, but you were dead Ma. Twice. And now you're sitting here having a family day out just six weeks later. You understand us and we understand you." Emma wondered if anyone had ever told her this before because it seemed like brand new information to her.

"K-ki-dd." Was all Emma had to say for Henry to understand she was overwhelmed.

"So back to the point. Here, on day fourteen, you started breathing on your own and then here on day nineteen was when you and I sang 'Wild World'. Well, you were thinking it and I sang, Mom projected your thoughts into the room." Emma looked at him completely dumbfounded. "Yep, that was the look on the nurse's face too," he added his smile growing. It was clear Emma was getting the point of him showing this to her. "This is when you sat in a chair when you were moved out of the ICU, when you first went outside. And here, just three days ago is when you finally got a clear X-ray to say your pneumonia was gone," Henry concluded as he skipped past empty pages to the next section.

"These next few pages are the centers Mom and I went to check out. I voted for this place because of the pool. Mom picked it because it was the best. Overall it was actually an easy decision because it was so close." There were at least five places Emma could see as Henry flicked through the pages. One looked like a glorified hospital, another looked more like a sad youth hostel. She tried desperately to remember that where she was really was the best place around.

"Here, nearer the back are the reported drowning cases, people who survived prolonged cardiac arrests and then some who had the same conditions you are recovering from now. I like this case the best, she's the most like you. Female, 36, drowned in her car after an accident. When she woke up she couldn't make any memories, walk, or identify objects. She took a lot longer to wake up, two months before she even opened her eyes. Now three years later she knows who the president is and walks her dogs in the morning. She gave me a lot of hope that that would be you when you couldn't respond to anything." Emma stared at the journal article and messages Henry had printed out from instant messages they had sent to each other. She saw how much effort Henry had put into this, how this book was his way of gaining control. She couldn't hold back the single tear that trickled down her left cheek.

"Please don't cry Ma. The point is, it's just going to take time. And I'm so happy that you and I can sit here and talk to each other. Just like my book, my Operation, your recovery is nowhere near complete. It's only just beginning." Emma clumsily lifted her hand so it sat atop of her son's. He turned his over so their fingers could intertwine and with a shared squeeze, a silent pact was made. Emma would try harder and Henry would be there to help her.

"I have so much faith in you Ma. You're going to get through this and all of us are here to help you in any way we can. They might not all be calling it 'Operation Mama Bear' in their heads, but they are doing everything they can to make you as well as possible because we all believe in you. But you need to believe in yourself too."

Emma glanced at the book, her son, her brother, her parents, and finally her wife. If this had happened only a few years ago no one would have been there to help her. She would have been alone. She tried hard during rehab, she knew that was true. Those goals were small, just move the object again, a little more resistance, a little longer in the pool. They were easier to meet. She lived so frequently in the moment currently that seeing the big picture wasn't a perspective she often garnered.

Emma watched the waves hit the beach and wondered if and when simply believing would be enough, when her fairy tale end would finally come true.


	12. The Instability of Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First section is probably NSFW.

**End of May**

"Where's Emma?" Regina asked Mark as he approached her alone. She was immediately concerned, he always accompanied Emma at 5 PM.

"She asked if you would meet her upstairs today. She wants to show you something." Mark was smiling, sparkle in his eyes. Regina understood completely why Emma referred to him as 'Mr. Hollywood'.

At Mark's words, Regina instantly calmed and wondered what progress Emma had managed today that was worthy of a 'show-and-tell'. Emma downplayed her progress to Regina and it was often through observation alone that the brunette could determine how strong her wife was becoming. Emma wasn't one to brag about being able to place a ball in a big hole or being able to lift her leg higher off the ground than the day before. So for Emma to actually want Regina to witness an improvement, she knew it was something big. Something significant to her wife.

"Emma's has been working on this for about a month. She spends hours at a time trying to do this. It's been incredible therapy. Your wife is very determined. Perhaps even stubborn. But you already know that. Anyway, I think you'll be impressed," Mark stated as he showed Regina into the large rec room where other patients were doing jigsaws, painting, and a pair were playing Wii tennis in the corner.

Regina heard it before she saw it, the unmistakable twang of the piano as it played the simple yet distinctive melody of 'twinkle twinkle little star'. The pace of the tune was slow but in time. Emma had clearly established a rhythm that she could adhere to without missing or misplaying a note.

Regina's smile grew as she politely thanked Mark with a slight nod before approaching her wife cautiously, attempting to arrive at her side without breaking the blonde's attention. She needn't have worried, though, Emma was concentrating fully on her hand, for her brow furrowed as she made the change from C to G.

Sliding the discarded piano stool to her wife's side, Regina watched the keys, mesmerized by the strength Emma's index finger and thumb now had. They weren't only strong but coordinated. Emma had learned to make the movements small, it wasn't a fluid motion of moving her finger from one key to another. Rather it was mechanical in nature. A separate across then down movement. Regina didn't know what possessed her to lift her left hand to the keys. They hovered over the notes that would provide the baseline to Emma's melody as she searched for permission to join. Once Emma finally nodded, Regina accompanied her through another stanza. Regina's eyes began to water as the moment reminded her of the times they had done this before. It was like they were the normal couple they had once been.

"I-It's no-t the Für El-is-e, I kn-ow-" Emma started to protest as she finally rested her burning hand on her lap. Regina loved hearing her wife talk, it had improved so much. It was slow and deliberate, just like her piano playing.

"This is now officially my favorite piece." Regina suppressed any of Emma's attempts at a rebuttal by nibbling at the blonde's earlobe, soothing every nip with her teeth with a quick flick of her tongue.

"May-or Mill-s are y-ou try-ing to se-du-ce me?" Emma lightly giggled as she enjoyed the sensation.

"Perhaps Sherriff Swan, I am," Regina murmured into the blonde's ear with a deep voice and leading connotations.

"Get a room. Actually, don't because that room would be next to mine and I don't want to hear that," Lauren quipped interrupting the pair as she appeared from seemingly nowhere. "Does this also mean you might start playing something else? Because even though it was apparently sexually stimulating to the gays, for everyone else hearing that played so inadequately for the past month has been some sort of hell."

"Yes, thank you, Lauren, for your… candor. I think Emma I will indeed leave you all in peace for a while." There was no subtlety in any of Regina's words. She wanted nothing more than to be alone with her wife in this moment.

* * *

As Regina moved Emma's wheelchair to the side, she tried to assess how far her wife would let her go, as she watched Emma shift herself on the bed. Regina was desperate to feel, taste, and touch Emma's naked body, to envelope her nipples in her mouth as she teased the blonde before going further. Her wife, however, always indicated that forceful kissing was as far as she would go since drowning. Emma was giving no indication that tonight she felt any different. Regina maintained her composure and began to unpack the food that they had taken to go onto Emma's bed table and turned on the show they had been watching recently, Breaking Bad.

"Nn-ot hun-gry y-t, ca-n we ju-st s-it to-geth-er?" Emma stated without any emotion.

"Of course darling. I can heat it up later." Regina removed her shoes and sat behind Emma as she normally did and began massaging Emma's tense and knotted upper back. Regina had given up asking if Emma actually wanted a massage weeks ago, for the answer was always affirmative. Emma let out her usual relaxing sigh as Regina's expert fingers tried to undo the strain that had been put upon her wife's muscles.

"A-re y-ou o-kay? Y-ou see-m dis-trac-ted, o-r tir-ed?" Emma wondered, trying to decipher Regina's body language. To Emma, it seemed Regina's eyes had lost some life. Emma couldn't remember clearly, but Regina being agitated seemed to resonate in her mind.

"I'm fine darling. I just find it hard to sleep without you," Regina deflected as she continued to circulate her fingers. Everything was under control for now. She had her gorgeous wife in front of her, which was all that mattered in this moment.

Neither woman could tell you exactly when they stopped paying attention to Walter White's current antics on the show, but it didn't take long. Emma was lost in feeling Regina and moved her head to allow her wife greater access to her neck, which throbbed endlessly. Regina surprised them both by leaning in and placing a trail of soft kisses down the exposed flesh, eliciting a soft moan of pleasure from the blonde. Emma's hand found Regina's thigh and with the strongest squeeze Emma could muster she sent waves straight to Regina's core, especially once Emma clumsily started to drag her nails as high as she could reach. Without breaking contact with Emma's neck, Regina carefully and slowly unclasped Emma's sling, gathering her left arm in her own after she tossed the item aside. Regina never ignored the limb, she ran her fingers across it, leaving small red lines that Emma could see. It was part of her wife, it was precious.

Regina's right hand moved from Emma's back and lifted Emma's simple white t-shirt enough so she could grab the full cup of the blonde's bra-covered breast. Emma began to moan louder and Regina teased her nipple by raking her thumbnail across it. Even through the material, Regina knew she had made it hard. Emma tried to gain control of the situation, attempting to twist herself so she could have more contact with the brunette. Instead, she felt her bra come undone and as Regina removed it from under her shirt, the intensity of the kiss increased as Regina found Emma's pulse point.

Without warning both of Regina's hands were stimulating Emma's mounds. One set of fingers would softly caressed a hardened nipple while the other would pinch and flick the other bud. The rhythm between switching was unpredictable and it gave Emma enormous pleasure that was conveyed to her wife through moans and deepened breathing. What Regina didn't know was that the left breast didn't feel the sensations as intensely as the right and it caused great confusion in Emma's brain. Emma, however, completely understood that she needed to touch her wife, her flesh, and as if proving they were made for each other, Regina quickly disengaged her hands and lips before rapidly removing and throwing her shirt on the floor. A moment later Regina discarded Emma's shirt hungrily and within seconds had shifted her entire body so she now straddled Emma's legs, their cores finally inches from each other. As Emma took in the black lace bra that occluded her access to her wife's olive-skinned breasts, Regina relished in seeing Emma's heaving with every breath in front of her. Regina shifted forward, smashing her lips into Emma's and she raised her right hand to her back as the left one balanced the pair. Emma understood and allowed Regina to lay her gracefully on the bed, their chests connecting as her back hit the mattress. As their mouths danced to a familiar rhythm the brunette's right hand traced Emma's skin softly, teasing her wife as to its final destination. Without warning the kiss was broken as Regina latched her mouth over Emma's right bud as the hand traveled inside the blonde's underwear. Regina found the blonde was wet, her fingers covered in her wife's essence as she started to stroke her walls, teasing the blonde for the touch she clearly, so desperately needed.

As Regina alternated, without a pattern, between biting, licking, and sucking Emma's already sensitive nipple, Emma was desperate to reciprocate. She reached up to Regina's back attempting to undo the clasp that was denying her access. Regina was so focused on pleasuring her wife that she didn't notice Emma's distress at not being able to undo the garment until she was hit firmly in the back, producing a yelp that caused her to bite Emma's breast with more vigor than intended.

"Let me," Regina said breathlessly after licking the reddened flesh, calming the unintended wound. Using only her free hand the bra was shed and fell between the pair as Regina refused to remove her hand that was desperate to enter Emma's ready folds. As Regina's breasts bounced freely in front of Emma's eyes she tried to grab the left one, hoping to arouse her wife the way she had done. Her hand though was tired and throbbing from her earlier activities, and even though Regina maneuvered herself to make the task easier for Emma, their moment together was already over.

"N-no. St-op." Emma was definitive.

"Emma, I-" Regina tried.

"I wa-nt to be you-r wi-fe."

"And I want to be yours. I don't care what you can and can't do for me. I love doing what I was doing. You don't even need your hand, your-"

"I sai-d no."

Regina nodded, trying to hide her complete disappointment and annoyance. She was ready for this, she had been for a while. She contemplated lightly brushing Emma's clit as she removed her hand, but decided against it. Her wife had said no. Her wife was sad, tired, and frustrated. She unstraddled Emma and allowed her legs to dangle over the edge of the bed, her back turned to her wife, who had now started to curl herself into as small a ball as she could manage. Emma stared at her throbbing hand and began to shake as she tried to suppress the tears. Regina could feel the bed start to shake and debated between the tactics of comfort, anger, humor, or distraction. Saying it was alright wasn't going to help, showing her negative emotions would only bring more pain. There wasn't anything funny about this situation.

"Well I don't know about you, but I could use a shower. Can we at least do that together?" Regina asked hopefully.

"Ye-ah su-re, you ro-ll me on i-nn th-ere th-en ho-se me do-wn. Per-fect."

* * *

**Middle of June**

"It's good you're here. She worse than I've ever seen. I think they knocked her out in the end." Regina knew Emma must be in serious pain for Lauren to control her words so diligently.

In response, Regina hurriedly removed her outwear and carefully opened the door to Emma's darkened room. All Regina could hear was the deep even breathing from the blonde. Regina knew the room well enough to navigate it in the dark and was pleased a chair was close enough to Emma's bed that she wouldn't need to move one. Her hearing was hypervigilant as she slowly lowered herself into the seat, cringing with every minuscule sound she made. Luckily, Emma didn't stir.

It took a while for Regina's eyes to fully adjust to the darkened space. Once she did, she appreciated the sheen of sweat that covered Emma's pale skin and the scrunched lines she adorned as she tried to squeeze her eyes further shut. Emma's right hand was lost to Regina, hidden under the blanket that Emma had curled herself into, but by the constant movement, Regina concluded Emma was gripping the blanket for dear life. She may be asleep but Emma was in a lot of pain. Lauren's assessment was correct, this was Emma's worst migraine since Storybrooke.

After sitting quietly for hours, doing nothing more than staring at her wife in case she woke and needed something, Regina began to notice Emma's breathing was no longer deep and rhythmic. It was becoming more labored and was frequently interspersed with mumbles that could only indicate pain. There was no doubt that Emma would be awake soon. Regina rose to gather a cool cloth in preparation, it was about all Emma had identified that helped that wasn't pharmaceutically based. Regina had resisted the urge to apply a compress earlier as waking Emma would be far worse than any relief the coolness could bring. She returned from the kitchen, ice water in hand and simply waited.

Regina's phone started to vibrate only a few minutes later, hastening the astute observation that Emma was close to consciousness. Regina didn't speak as she rapidly removed her phone and aborted a call from Henry. She silently cursed herself for not checking 'vibrate on silent' was turned off. With great remorse she saw a slither of green as she looked back at her wife's eyes. There was nothing to say, so Regina simply laid the prepared cool cloth on her wife's forehead. Emma's face contorted in more pain, showing Regina that, this time, she had made things worse. First with the phone, then with the cold. Emma moaned loudly and in doing so, woke herself further.

"You're okay," Regina conveyed at a volume so low she wasn't sure she had even spoken. Emma's eyes fluttered as she tried to focus on Regina and attempted to identify the loud noise that had interrupted her sleep. Although only the tiniest amount of day was still filtering its way inside the room, to Emma it seemed like the sun itself resided there. Regina's breathing sounded like waves crashing against the cliff during a violent howling storm. She needed to protect herself from the elements.

Regina watched as Emma untangled her right arm and bent behind herself to remove the pillow that had been cast aside. She grabbed it with great determination and Regina couldn't help but gasp as Emma dumped it on her head with great force. Emma's hand didn't let go of her new barrier and she was relieved her plan had worked. It was darker and quieter. Regina just stared. There was nothing she could or needed do for her wife. She had fixed her problem alone.

* * *

It had been months since Regina slept in a chair and she had forgotten the toll such an experience took on her now aging body. As her eyes adjusted, she noted Emma was sound asleep, with the pillow discarded and the blanket turned down. She hoped this meant that like the previous experiences Emma would be groggy but otherwise functional today. She had awoken long before Emma would need to, so she slipped out of the room, after leaving her wife a note, into the lounge and kitchen she shared with Lauren. She was surprised that when she opened the door she was hit by the unmistakable aroma of coffee.

"Morning," Regina expressed as she used body language to ask if she could enjoy a cup.

"Hi. How's Emma?" Lauren asked as she lowered her paper and gave an indicative nod.

"We'll see when she wakes. How are you doing? It's been a while since I asked. I apologize for that," Regina politely enquired as she inhaled the much-needed caffeine.

"Well, you clearly have other things to worry about other than me. And I don't mean Emma. She knows you're hiding something from her. Her memory is improving, the tactic of hoping she won't remember won't work much longer. Even if it doesn't, she senses it." Lauren took a long swig from her cup as she read Regina as she tried to hide that Lauren was exactly right. "Oh, but I'm good. I stood on Monday and again on Wednesday. Fell on my butt on Tuesday. But you probably know that."

"That's wonderful news. I'm delighted for you, and no, I didn't know."

"Oh. Emma was pretty down about it. She tried to hide it, but you could tell she was happy, yet jealous. She just wants out of that damn chair."

"I am aware. It's why she is here," Regina confirmed with a sad smile. Emma's progress with her left leg had been much slower than that of her right hand and speech.

"You had better tell her, whatever it is. You look more tired every time I see you, so you're obviously feeling a burden. If it's being here every day, Emma can handle socializing with us. Eventually, every spouse misses a night. If it's what you need to recharge, take it. You're not helping her. She thinks it's her being here, being like this that is the problem. I don't sense that, though."

"I can assure you that being here with Emma has nothing to do with it. There are just things I do not want my wife to concern herself with. Her entire focus should be here, working on getting better. That's her mission and she's doing an exemplary job."

Lauren smiled and nodded, it was something she learned in therapy to end social interactions appropriately. She took her paper and coffee before commenting that she was going to see if it was warm enough to sit outside yet. Regina was left contemplating the other brunette's words. If Emma had noticed, why had she not asked her?  _Perhaps she has and you haven't been paying attention. Protecting her from the latest crisis, preventing her from feeling guilty, maybe you stopped noticing,_ Regina internally mused as she nursed her remaining coffee.

In an attempt to distract her mind she saw some sort of puzzle building block game in front of her. She concluded on closer inspection that the blocks were different shapes and you had to put them together so they fit back in the cubic box. The blocks were three different colors of red, blue and yellow. Regina pondered if that was significant to solving the puzzle. With her interest piqued she emptied the half-filled box and began assembling.

* * *

Regina studied Emma as Jenny checked her over. She had brought breakfast to her and no doubt that was the next thing on Emma's itinerary after her blood pressure and temperature were noted.

"Tir-ed," Was Emma's simple reply to being asked how she felt.

"Well, your blood pressure is still a little high. How's the pain?" Jenny remarked as she typed the results into her tablet.

"Throbs, b-ut fine," Emma said dismissively.

"She's lying," Regina instinctively interrupted.

"I am aware of Emma's tendencies to downplay her discomfort. Okay, so take these with your breakfast. Then more sleep I think. Push the button when you want to get up," Jenny said as she added a couple of pills to Emma's current cocktail.

"I want to g-et up n-ow," Emma replied, even though her eyes were heavy. She couldn't hide her fatigue as her speech was slower than normal, despite the control she displayed. "I can s-lee-p in my ch-air if I nee-d to," She offered as a compromise. Jenny nodded and began positioning the trapeze and Emma's chair while calling Stephen to help. Regina realized she was just staring, being completely ineffective; Emma hated it when Regina helped her in and out of bed and especially detested it if she helped her go to the bathroom. She had learnt that the hard way several weeks previously.

"I'll set your breakfast up in the lounge and wait for you. Then we can have breakfast together. Does that sound okay to you?" Regina asked tentatively, Lauren's comment was still firmly on her mind. In trying to act normal she knew she was being the exact opposite.

"Sure," Emma replied, smiling that Regina was willingly giving her some privacy.

As Regina waited for Emma she checked her phone to ensure she hadn't missed any developments from the town overnight. Everyone would be awake now, reports of new animal carcasses would be coming in. She hoped the magic she had left them with was enough. Seeing no messages she fired one off to David.

**Any reports? Did it hold?**

_It held. Nothing new so far. How's Emma?_

**Better. Keep me posted if you need me to come back. She'll sleep soon. Never know I'm gone.**

_Will do, tell her we love her._

Regina sighed in relief, she had been waiting all night to hear if she had to return immediately, she hadn't been out of town this long before, not since the magic required had increased exponentially. During the recent weekend visits, the Charmings would occupy Emma for a few hours while Regina navigated the ninety minute round trip. It became so routine for Emma to spend time alone with her parents that the act was no longer suspicious. On this day though, even if Emma had slept the entire night and hadn't acknowledged her existence, Regina was glad she was where she wanted to be. She then contacted Henry to ensure he was fine and relieved that his night had continued to be uneventful since they last spoke. He and Emily had gone to the movies. He was going to spend the day working on his latest project. Regina left him to it. If it was anything like the last one, then it was worth the secrecy and the money he had asked for to 'buy supplies'.

Regina finally relaxed during breakfast. Emma looked a lot better after her shower, and whatever Jenny had put in that cup had clearly diminished Emma's lingering headache quickly. As Emma's memory improved, Henry supplied Emma with a low-tech version of Lauren's original suggestion – not an iPod track – but a laminated card with the steps to eating written down. She had special spoons that were raspberry blue. Emma would never be able to look at a spoon and know what it was or what it was for, but she could see this color, feel the shape with her hand and understand she was supposed to eat with it. Only a few days ago had she started to learn the same process for a fork. It all meant Emma was becoming independent, if only she could remember that she had the card and to read it when she did.

"How about we go for a wander outside, maybe do a circuit of the houses? I never get to see you alone during the day. It will be refreshing," Regina asked as she cleared the dishes.

Emma wasn't listening, though, as she saw her puzzle on the counter completely rearranged. It had been in order, she had been working on it for days. Emma reached for it and placed the cube on her lap and tried to remove the pieces inside. Emma, however, was tired. She didn't have the motor skills that morning to rectify the difference and threw the one piece that had fallen out onto the floor.

"What's wrong? You want to do the puzzle?" Regina asked trying to understand what had changed in mere seconds. Emma's mood swings had decreased recently so this was a development Regina wasn't prepared for.

"Lau-ren. She must ha-ve touch-ed it. I've told her n-ot to touch it. It's my mem-ory g-ame that helps my h-and too. It's rui-ned. She kn-ows not to touch it. Why, why w-ould she do this?" Emma was becoming distraught. Regina had no idea it was even Emma's let alone an important crutch for her wife.

"Emma, Lauren didn't touch this. I did. I didn't know. I'm so sorry, darling. Let me help you put it back the way it was." Regina brought herself to eye level and stared directly into Emma's eyes, her focus shifting from one to the next.

"I t-old you not to touch it. You were-n't list-en-ing. You're al-ways check-ing your ph-one. If some-thing is more im-portant than be-ing here then just go do it. I app-reci-ate you were here for me l-ast night, but I'm bet-ter now. You can leave." Emma slowly grabbed the other pieces of the puzzle onto her lap and maneuvered her joystick to head outside. "Really I do app-reci-ate it. I feel bet-ter when you're here. I love you so much, but some-thing is go-ing on and you won't tell me what it is. I-f it's j-ust be-ing here with me. T-ell me. I can be a-lone. If it's some-thing else j-ust go deal with it and g-et some sleep. You lo-ok worse than I feel."

"Emma-" Regina began her defense.

"P-lease. Leave me for n-ow." Emma's eyes conveyed anguish, but her words and movement in the opposite direction told Regina she wanted space for a while.

Regina stood speechless. She wasn't going to leave and return to Storybrooke when those were Emma's parting words. At the same time, she had to respect her wife's wishes and sought to give her space, if only temporarily. Emma didn't seem angry, more like she had given up on trying to be equal. Regina sighed heavily as she went back into Emma's room, her exhaustion becoming self-evident as she gathered a blanket and settled into the chair. She grasped her phone tight, set on sound and vibrate. She'd been running on empty for so long she hadn't appreciated how exhausted she really was, how much magic she had been expelling.

* * *

**Beginning of July**

"Why w-ould you re-port to Belle?" Emma pondered as she interrupted Regina's story.

"She's Mayor Emma," Regina confirmed with an air of exasperation.

"You're not Mayor any-more?" Emma asked, confused. She had been muddled and tired since physical therapy. She was desperate to improve her leg function, she had pushed herself too hard.

"No Emma, I'm not. How many times do I need to tell you this before you remember?" Guilt and shame danced across Emma's face as she heard Regina's irritated words. Now that she tried hard to recollect, she could remember Regina telling her before.

"Sorry Emma, I'm so sorry. I'm just tired. I didn't mean to snap." Regina attempted to backpedal, but it was too late. She knew Emma had now shut down for the night and wouldn't ask anything else no matter how confused and lost she might be. It was how Emma reacted when Regina made her feel that she was to blame. That she wasn't the person she used to be. She wasn't good enough anymore.

"Henry and Emily are performing at the impromptu fourth of July celebrations. I believe he is doing an extended magic set, while she is doing some sort of theater performance with her sister. Your dad will be filming it so we can watch it together later." Regina's attempt to divert the conversation to common ground didn't appear to be having any effect on Emma's demeanor.

"You sh-ould go. One of us sh-ould be there," Emma diligently replied, never breaking eye contact with the table. She knew Emily was Henry's girlfriend, but Emma couldn't decide if she had met her. SHe couldn't picture her face or hear her voice.

"Why don't you both go?" Lauren happily supplied an obvious alternative as she came to gather the pair for their planned game night. "Wheels seems well enough for a few hours away from here. Besides, we're all being taken as some sort of dysfunctional family to the fireworks near here anyway. Excellent opportunity for a jailbreak I think."

"Can we?" Emma pleaded. Regina hadn't seen Emma be excited about anything in a long time. The thought of going home, seeing everyone in the town, feeling magic, feeling Regina's magic was something she didn't know she needed until it was presented to her. Everyone was moving on with their lives without her. She had been gone so long it wouldn't feel like home anymore. She looked longingly into Regina's eyes, desperate for the brunette to relent and allow her freedom. She started to seriously think how she could get herself home unassisted. Unfortunately for Emma, formulating a plan was still too much for her brain to process.

"No. I'm not taking you there to just bring you back. It will be too painful," Regina reasoned. Emma was crushed. She felt like she had no control over anything in her life, and Regina's confirmed she was basically a prisoner. She couldn't leave, even if she wanted to.

"Jeez, at least think about it, Your Majesty. Did you tell her your big news Wheels?" Lauren wondered as even she saw how down Emma appeared, especially now that Regina had so quickly disregarded her desires.

"Yes. But it was-n't as im-press-ive as I th-ought. The only th-ing th-at will be good enough any-more is walk-ing," Emma replied, quietly and despondently.

"Emma!" Regina implored. "What news? You didn't tell me."

"I d-id, and you just said a-huh, wh-at do you w-ant for din-ner?" Emma said, tears forming for the third time this week as she looked at her wife. Regina took a deep breath as she searched her wife's desperate eyes and then switched to Lauren's which showed she was completely unimpressed that she had made her wife cry. Again.

"Lauren, can you please give us a minute, then we will be over to play," Regina asked as she stroked Emma's arm, offering any comfort she could.

"Sure, just don't make her cry more. She's hard enough to understand as it is," Lauren requested as she expertly rolled herself away from the table. She wasn't strong enough yet to stand for an extended period of time, let alone walk.

"Emma, look at me. I know I've been distracted. I'm sorry. I'm right here. Just me and you. Please tell me what happened today. What were you able to do? I desperately want to know." Regina could see how broken her wife was and it was all down to the decision she and her family had made on her behalf.

When Emma had held the modified purple-colored paintbrush, dipped it into the pot of paint, and then used it to draw a smiley face she had felt her heart swell. It might not have been Van Gogh quality, but she was painting. It was something she had once loved, something that had made her happy. She wanted to tell Regina because she had listened to all the times the brush fell, the paint knocked over, and the water that spread across the linoleum floor. But as she sat here with her wife in front of her, clearly with bigger things on her mind, her achievement seemed small. Pathetic. It was nothing to be proud of. She made a silent vow that she would never claim to have achieved anything of note ever again.

"It was noth-ing. Let's go p-lay 'Sorry!'." Emma finalized her dismissal by moving herself away from Regina. "Un-less there's someth-ing happen-ing back home and you're en-danger-ing our son, my parents, my broth-er, and the people you used to rule by be-ing here. Then play-ing a board game with a bunch of brain injur-ed social rejects is sheer stu-pidity. And if that hap-pens, I won't ever for-give you."

"Everyone is safe. I promise you." As Emma turned away, Regina couldn't help but glance at her phone to ensure that her statement, was indeed, true.

* * *

**Middle of July**

Emma was sat in the rec room starting to tidy her paints and brush as Mark approached.

"No need to tidy up just yet, Regina called, she has a flat tire. She's going to be a little late." Mark had expected disappointment to flicker across Emma's face. He couldn't recall a single instance when Regina wasn't here at five. In fact, normally Regina was at least half an hour early, although that promptness was decreasing recently. Instead, Emma shrugged and seemed happy that she could return to her painting.

"You're really gaining control of that thing. It's showing in your work. I didn't realize you had such artistic talent," Mark observed as he looked at Emma's canvas. Previous efforts had been nothing more than a bunch of colors to him, but this one had form. It was definitely a farm with a windmill with her painted sky indicating a storm was coming.

"Just some-thing I did at one time," Emma replied nonchalantly and she mixed the pink and gray together to emphasize the darkness covering the sunset.

"You should let Regina see this you know. I think she would be rather impressed." Mark was trying to raise Emma's spirits. To him, she had seemed increasingly reserved and withdrawn.

"May-be when I can paint bet-ter. For now, it's just ex-ercise." Emma shifted slightly in her chair, her body language indicating that to her there was nothing more to be said on the matter.

"Okay. I'll let you know if I hear anything else from her. I can get you your cell if you want, so you can call her?" Mark was trying, but Emma just wanted to be left alone to perfect the incoming thunder.

"No, I'm good. We can talk w-hen she arrives."

It was about an hour later, after Emma had completed adding shadows to the poorly painted windmill, that she decided her hand and brain had had enough art for the night. The room had emptied considerably as the other residents had most certainly scattered to appease their encroaching hunger. A gentle queasiness from Emma's stomach told her that she too was hungry. She knew if she was hungry she went to the big room downstairs.

As she took in the tables and chairs and other people eating, Emma realized that she didn't instinctively know what to do next. Emma inhaled deeply and allowed her hand to guide her wheelchair towards the aroma of apple pie. Emma stared at the food, she couldn't recall ever putting items in the bowl herself, and as if on cue Mark reappeared.

"Want some help? I could hold the bowl?" He offered. He wasn't sure if she could hold the spoon with mashed potatoes, but he sure was going to let her try. Emma nodded, showing excitement at doing an unfamiliar task, completely unprepared for what the outcome might be. Mark had been right, it was too heavy for Emma's tired hand, but she smiled as the potatoes fell from the spoon back into the metallic serving dish.

"Do you actually want potatoes, Emma?" He asked, chuckling. When Emma nodded he plopped a spoonful into her bowl. He made sure she had a balanced dinner before carrying her meal to her table.

"Thank you," Emma said genuinely as he cut her chicken, made sure she had her blue spoon and Henry's card was placed right in front of her. He even filled her cup with water.

As Emma sat following her clear directions, feeling less hungry as the minutes passed, she couldn't recollect a time when she had eaten alone. Jenny had always been there, or Regina. Neither did much, they mostly pointed to the card when she got confused and kept her company. And simply because it was different and she was doing it herself, this moment felt wonderful to Emma. It was so foreign to her lately that she could barely identify the feeling as happiness.

"Wheels!" Lauren exclaimed as she maneuvered herself into Emma's earshot. "Where's your sidekick? Does she know you're roaming around freely? And doing something as dangerous as consuming a meal? The scandal!" Lauren scoffed as she helped herself to Emma's brownie.

"She's late." Emma paused, deliberating what to say next. Emma looked at the spoon and the food but couldn't make the connection. "Lauren. I'm still hungry. I don't know how to fix that, I know it's something to do with this blue thing." It was comfortable to ask Lauren for help. Refreshing even.

"Goodness sake Emma. You've been here three months. You don't know how to eat yet?" Lauren playfully teased, amazed her roommate was still this clueless. "Read your card your son made. It's all there." Emma refocused on the card and followed the instructions precisely. Lauren shook her head and waited. She knew better than to break the blonde's focus when she was doing something as fundamental as eating.

* * *

The pair returned to their little duplex that was west of the main building and settled in their lounge and watched reruns of How I Met Your Mother as Emma worked on her puzzle and Lauren the daily crossword. To Lauren, it was obvious, though Emma was oblivious to the fact that she hadn't missed her wife at all.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Are you okay?" Regina nearly screamed as she barged in through the front door, uninvited, breaking the relaxing evening the pair had been sharing.

"It's fine. We're watching TV," Emma said not breaking eye contact with her puzzle block. Regina stood, hurt, that Emma was seemingly content without her presence.

"Did you eat?" Regina wondered as she removed her coat.

"No. The nurses here just leave you to rot in the corner if family aren't here to spoon-feed you. Of course, she ate you, idiot. And she's too proud to tell you but she fed herself. She's not the helpless soul you brought here," Lauren barked. She had increasingly disliked how Regina often treated Emma like the pet she once had been.

"Lauren, th-ank you, but it's fine. Yes, Regina, I ate. We br-ought some food for you, it's in the f-ridge if you want some." Emma finally gave up on fitting the red piece in and looked at her wife. Emma used a long glance to acknowledge the boots, jeans, black sweater, and hair. "So, get the tire f-ixed?" Emma asked as she placed her blocks down and made her way into her bedroom.

"Umm, yes. They took a while to arrive; it's why I am so late," Regina asserted as she tried to read Emma's bizarre behavior.

"R-ight. Lauren, th-ank you for a love-ly even-ing, but Regina and I have some-thing to discuss."

"Sure thing, Wheels. Anyone know a seven-letter word for tightened?" Lauren mused as she refocused on answering the real clue for seven down.

Regina smiled curtly at the brunette as she turned and followed her wife into her bedroom. Before Regina could even turn around Emma wanted answers.

"So wh-ere did the tire b-low out?" Emma inquired.

"On nine, after it turns into Mills road," Regina replied, confused.

"Why are you lying to me?" Emma asked, slowly, deliberately, and coolly.

"Emma-"

"I might be a brain in-jured idiot, but I was Sh-eriff, I can read people and evi-dence. You've been in rain and mud, recently. It hasn't been rain-ing here and th-ose roads are-n't near Story-brooke. So I'll ask again, why are you lying to me?"

"Emma, I-" Regina stammered as she absorbed the thick despair her wife couldn't help but emanate.

Regina stood debating which path to take, she could lie and protect her wife, or tell her the truth and risk losing her all over again.


	13. The Brutality of Lies

"So I'll ask again, why are you lying to me?" Emma was direct. It was clear she wanted answers from Regina. She demanded them. They had long ago agreed that they didn't need to share everything, privacy was allowed, especially when it pertained to their pasts. However, lying was the one thing they promised each other they would never do.

"Emma, I-" Regina stammered as she absorbed the thick despair her wife couldn't help but emanate. She knew this conversation would eventually arise, how much it would hurt. This lie wasn't even worth it, there was no value to it. She had been delayed in Storybrooke. She'd hadn't been strong enough herself, she had needed Gold. She felt like she was failing everyone. Now she was even lying to the only person who brought light into her darkened soul.

"I'm sorry. I did lie. I didn't want you to think that there was something more important to me than being here with you. It was a mistake, Emma," Regina finally admitted as she moved into the room and crouched before Emma's chair. She wanted Emma to look directly into her eyes and see she wasn't being dishonest now, that she regretted trying to take the easier path.

"Tell me what's go-ing on w-ith you, what's happen-ing back home?" Emma was blunt, dismissing Regina's feeble attempt at apologizing as though she hadn't even heard it.

"No." Regina's response was so quick and forceful, it sounded like a reflex.

"Why not?"

"Because If I tell you, you'll demand to be taken home. I can't do it. You need to be here, you need to just focus on getting better. Gold and I have it handled," Regina reasoned as she went to clasp Emma's hand. All she wanted to do when she got here was tonight was hold her wife close. Not talk, not open up. Just silently breathe in everything that was Emma Swan-Mills. It was clear that wasn't going to happen as Emma rapidly moved it out of the way, leaving Regina to connect with Emma through the cargo pants she had taken to wearing.

"That's the sec-ond lie you've told me in as many minutes. You're forget-ing my super-power. It's still intact. You do not have it handled. If you and Gold are work-ing to-gether then it must be magic. You need magic. You need my magic and that's why you won't tell me?"

"Partly, but Emma, you can't. Since your accident, there were several times when you used even a little magic that you needed immediate medical attention. One time you nearly died. It's why I asked you to wear the cuff. We won't allow you to hurt yourself like that again." Regina was silently delighted for Emma. She hadn't been good at problem-solving or making connections between facts. It was one of the reasons it had been so easy to keep her in the dark. The Emma she married would have figured everything out in minutes. Regina had lied twice, but Emma now had the cognitive ability to see through them both.  _It's either that or I'm just terrible at lying to her_ , _either reason is more than acceptable,_  Regina mused, almost missing Emma's reply which had astutely recognized Regina's choice of words.

"We?" Emma looked horrified as she tried to understand how big the conspiracy against her was.

"Me and your parents." As Regina reluctantly confessed that the people closest to her wife had worked in unison, she broke eye contact and lowered her forehead to Emma's knees, a clear plea for forgiveness.

"You made my parents lie to me?" Emma's repulsion was so profound she moved her chair backward breaking any contact with her wife, leaving her kneeling in the center of the room, alone.

"I didn't make them, it was a joint decision. And we didn't lie, we just- withheld information," Regina reasoned. Frustrated that they were even having this conversation.

"Se-mantics. It's g-ood t-to know every-one th-inks so little of me." Emma's eyes were wide, her voice starting to shake, her pronunciation deteriorating.

"We don't think little of you Emma. We just want you to focus on what you need to do here." Regina held her palms up as if to surrender. She needed Emma to calm, she didn't want her smashing her hand into her head as she had taken to doing to express her frustration lately.

"So p-ppeople are what? Dy-ing in St-ory-brooke so I can per-fect mak-ng a ball out of clay?" Emma was completely affronted that she didn't get to choose the course of her life. It was her life, it was her choice what she did with it.

"No one is dying. As I said we have it under control. You have nothing to worry about," Regina implored soothingly. She started to move in Emma's direction, desperate to close the gap between them, but Emma's hand twitched by her controller, telling Regina she was close enough.

"If that's true then why are you keep-ing it secret? If it's really under con-trol, I wouldn't want to come home. I could under-stand." Emma was searching her brain, frantically trying to understand what everyone in her life wouldn't want her to know. A positive side effect was that the act of thinking had calmed her.

"We didn't want you to worry, or be concerning yourself with matters you can't control. I know how exhausting being here is. How hard it's been." Regina was quoting the Charmings without even realizing it. They all at one point had to be talked down from telling Emma, that it was for the best, that not knowing was beneficial.

"You know? How could you k-now? You don't even listen to me any-more." This was all Emma felt about her wife recently, that she was here but only physically. It was a feeling, not a memory,but that was one of the same to Emma now.

"Of course I listen to you. I know I've been distracted. It's a pathetic reason, but I'm tired. All this is taking its toll," Regina said with a heavy sigh and she finally raised herself from the floor and sat on a nearby chair, which only increased the distance between the pair.

"This? You mean me? Me be-ing like this? Be-ing here?" Emma was desperately trying to understand what Regina meant. Did Regina finally tell the truth, that her being infirm was ruining her life?  _Of course it is, why would Regina even want you? Look at you. And she feels obligated to come here every day. She has no life. Just fixing Storybrooke then visiting me. No wonder she looks terrible. Sick even._

"No Emma. Look at me." Emma's tear-stained face looked at Regina trying to ascertain if this was the truth. "It is not a burden for me to be here for you. I love you. Do I wish you were never hurt and everything was the way it was? Yes, of course I do. But that's not how life works. This is the hand we have to play now and I want us to make the most of it. Together." As Regina spoke she slowly walked towards Emma, who just sat and cried, allowing her wife to break her wall. Emma finally felt Regina hug her as best she could, leaning in and letting Regina rub her back, easing her sobs to a quiet whimper.

"You're say-ing the situation is under con-trol so I don't under-stand why you won't just tell me. What am I going to do? Per-form a jail-break in my five-mile per hour chair?" Emma asked as she regained some composure. She just wanted to know what was going on. She didn't understand why Regina was being so evasive. It just didn't make sense.

"It's exactly what you did," Regina divulged, instantly regretting her slip in concentration that was perpetrated by the scent and feel of her wife that she was finally being granted. Emma moved out of the embrace so they were face to face and they stared at each other in complete silence. Regina wondered if now that Emma was prompted if that there was a memory locked deep inside that she could recall. Sometimes it was what happened, others times it did not.

"What?" Emma replied in a quiet, timid voice. Her eyes told Regina she was searching, it was a look Regina was more than familiar with.

"I've told you three times Emma, your reaction to the news just gets worse the stronger you get, the more you recover. It's okay, darling. It's okay that you don't remember." Regina was trying to prevent another breakdown by gently dragging a chair over so she could sit next to Emma. She held her hand with one of her own and used the other to fiddle with Emma's blonde locks. She was struggling to hold back her own tears as she saw how devastated her wife had become. Emma knew Regina wasn't lying, but Emma didn't remember.

"I told you about it when we first started noticing what was happening, you didn't try to get home, you just asked that I keep you informed. But when I tried to tell you what Belle had found out a few days later at dinner, you didn't know what I was talking about. So I just dropped it. It didn't matter at all, just a little magic and everything was fine." Regina continued to comfort Emma as best she could as she spoke. Emma was just staring at the floor. Regina wasn't even sure she was listening.

"The second time, we were sat here, on your bed. You wanted to know why I was 'off', so I told you. You cried for hours that you couldn't help after I explained what it was doing to me. You blamed yourself. We talked about it as you tried to offer a different perspective – something that we all missed. But you couldn't and that just made you more frustrated and you tried to leave but you weren't strong enough yet so you just started banging your head against the wall. So I'm not going to give you specifics anymore, it's not fair to you. I don't want you to hurt yourself since that's how you process your frustration and anxiety lately."

As Emma tried to remember these two events, eventually recognizing that Regina had said three times, there was information she was deliberately not expressing. She waited to see if Regina would supply her with the third story, but it was clear Regina was more focused on massaging her hand than furnishing information.

"What hap-pened the third time?" Emma pleaded. She hated she didn't know the details of her own life, but more than that, she didn't even know that she didn't know.

"The third time you, you tried to get home yourself when we said we wouldn't take you. You tricked us and said you wouldn't do anything. So later when we went out for the day and we weren't paying attention, you took off. You ended up at a bus stop but after you got there I think you forgot what you were doing. When I found you, you had fallen out of your chair because you forgot you couldn't walk. You were so lost Emma, you didn't know where you were, why, or what to do. I can't risk that happening again. It was awful seeing you like that. You sprained your ankle and it slowed your progress that week."

"I-I don't re-member any of this, I feel like I would re-member someth-ing like that."

"Use your superpower. You'll see I'm not lying. I can get you your medical records. I can show you." Emma didn't need to, she could see from the complete despondency on her wife's face that her story was true and it haunted her. Emma's words were just her coming to terms with her reality.

"When was this, this last time?" Emma asked knowing that it wasn't this past weekend, as she rotated her ankle and it felt fine.

"About a month ago. You seemed better. So your parents and I decided to tell you. We hate keeping things from you. It feels wrong, like we're betraying you. After, after we saw what happened that third time we decided to handle it ourselves for the time being. I didn't know what else to do Emma. Perhaps I could have made better choices. But please trust that everything I have done was me trying to protect you, to keep you safe." Regina was attempting to ground Emma, whose eyes remained distant, lost in her own thoughts, searching through the files that documented her recent life.

"But I t-thought, if, if you told me someth-ing often enough I re-membered, under-stood. That's how I kn-ow there was someth-ing w-rong in Story-brooke, how I know you've been dis-tant, with-draw-ing from me," Emma stammered, completely confused how she could remember the question, but not the answer.

"With some things. If it's part of your routine here, you're doing well at remembering what to do and where to go." Regina gave Emma a big smile trying to encourage her wife.

"And if not connec-ted to my routine? Please just be hon-est with me. D-don't hold back. If it's that bad, I won't re-member any-way, right?" Emma even managed a smile back as she tried to use humor to ease their despair. It didn't work though. Regina looked terrified to tell Emma the truth about her life. "Please Re-gina. Please stop ly-ing to me. I'm already under-stand-ing how bad things are because I can't think of th-ings. I know you all come here at the week-end, but I don't re-member us doing anyth-ing specific." Regina simply nodded. They'd had this conversation several times before. She could do it again. Just remind her of the things she does know. Emma then gains perspective, calms, refocuses on her task.

"The way I understand it is that you don't make actual memories as such, not often, but you learn patterns and behaviors. You do remember Henry doing magic and when your mom slipped on the grass out back, or when you play me pieces on the piano. I think when you're really happy you tend to remember better. It just reinforces to me that you're not happy, that's why you don't remember so many of things we do together." Regina's tone was soft, and combined with the stroking of Emma's hand she lost sight of what she was trying to tell Emma and expressed a little more of her own concerns than she had intended. Emma didn't need to know that Regina felt guilty that she couldn't make her wife happy anymore.

"Like what? What can't I re-member?" Emma hadn't intentionally released the puppy dog eyes, but there they were, burrowing into Regina's heart. Regina hated this part the most, when she told Emma the stories of her own life as though she were looking in.

"Two weekends ago we went to see fireworks, the next day you didn't remember that we did that. Oh, you now like salted caramel ice cream. Also, you don't remember the plot to the second Avengers film, even though we've seen it twelve times." Regina could see all she was doing was causing Emma pain, intense unbearable pain. Her reaction, this time, was far more extreme than ever before. She decided three examples was enough. "But if it's connected to here, to your exercises, to getting better, you're excelling. You remember that damn puzzle block with such clarity that you were angry with me when I touched it. You think I don't know that you paint every day, but I do and you remember where to go and how to do that. So you need to be here Emma. You need to just keep doing what you're doing because it's working. You're doing so well and I'm proud of you." Regina tried to make eye contact so Emma could see it was the truth.

"I'm sorry," Emma finally said. It had been minutes since Regina had spoken. Regina had learned Emma liked time to understand and process her predicament.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who should be sorry for hurting you. But I hope the truth will give you perspective. You have so much you need to do, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be when you forget so much; waking up and remembering your life before then having to re-accept this reality every day. I don't know what it's like Emma because you don't tell me. You don't talk to me anymore." Regina was hoping Emma might start to reciprocate and share her feelings after she had been so frank.

"I'm mad at you. I kn-ow that. I'm angry all the time." Emma was focusing now on what she could remember. She was certain of these facts.

"For lying, I know. It was a stupid mistake, Emma. I just didn't want to talk about Storybrooke tonight. I needed to get away from thinking about what my life is there. I just wanted to come here and spend time with you, to hold you. I was panicking I wasn't here and you didn't miss me at all." Regina had spent so much time backtracking and comforting Emma that she had actually suppressed how much pain Emma elicited by the fact she hadn't cared she wasn't here.

"You want me to feel sorry for you?" Emma responded after noticing that Regina's body language had changed, she looked like she was withdrawing from Emma herself.

"Of course not. We don't pity each other. That's not who we are," Regina proclaimed, offended by the notion.

"Were." Regina looked at Emma inquisitively. "You feel sorry for me. It's how you lo-ok at me. You don't even love me any-more. You're just forced to be around me because of some st-upid piece of paper we signed," Emma declared, confusing Regina as to where such a reaction had come from. Things were calm, they were fine.  _Hmm, expressing anger through words today, at least she's not hurting herself, I suppose._

"Okay, I know you're upset and angry and hurt by me, but that isn't true and you know it. I miss you, I need you, Emma. Being here, it keeps me going. Being able to touch you, hear you, it preserves me as the person I am."

"Why? How can you love this?" Emma motioned to the chair and then smashed a closed fist into her skull repeatedly.

"Emma stop!" Regina snapped and she grasped Emma's wrist, restraining it. "Listen to me. I love you with everything I am. I know it's hard, but it's getting better, everything is slowly getting better. It will just take more time." With her left hand she once again played with Emma's long hair, desperate to end this current cycle of irrational abusive behavior.

"You're just saying whatever you need to shut me up because you think I'll forget, it will be like this whole night didn't happen," Emma spat, knowing that it must be true. She didn't remember last night, or even what she had for dinner.

"No. I'm telling you because you're upset, and I want to be honest with you. You're not well enough for me to take you home yet and it's all want to do. I want to be with you all the time. You have no idea how much I love and miss you, darling." The brunette was pleading internally that Emma would just accept that she was loved, no matter how her recovery progressed.

"No," Emma retorted.

"No?"

"No, you don't love me. You used to, but you don't love me. You love her. The woman you married. You look at me and that's who you see. And it kills you she's not star-ing back." Emma reasoned, each word deliberate and slow.

"Emma that's simply not true." Regina was finally getting frustrated at this circular argument, which had no basis. She didn't know how to convince Emma that she loved her.

"It is. You used to be a qu-een and now you're wh-at, my care-giv-er? You can't poss-ibly l-ove me."

"Now I'm a wife. Your wife. I wouldn't change that for anything," Regina stated calmly, desperately trying to calm Emma who was becoming increasingly agitated again.

"You're not a w-ife. Marr-iage means equ-ality, I'm your p-risoner. I don't g-et to make any de-cisions for my-self. That's how you like it, though, be-ing in control. It's what you've done to me my whole life."

"Emma, I was a different person then." In all the times Emma had been angry, frustrated, and simply mean in these past few months, she had never said such pointedly hurtful things. Words that could serve no other purpose than to bring her wife pain. It surprised Regina, this wasn't Emma's pattern.

"But you still have it in-side of you to con-demn me to live my life cursed for-ever as an infant, or become orphan who only knew what it is to be aban-don-ed. Someth-ing that dark never leaves you complete-ly."

"That was a long time ago," Regina said quietly. Releasing Emma's hand, shifting away. If this woman in front of her really meant what she was saying, she was right, this wasn't her wife.

"It doesn't mat-ter. Some-where deep inside of you those desires are still there, that t-ingle you used to feel when you crush-ed a heart in your hand. W-hat is w-rong with me that I w-ould l-ove some-one like that? That I w-ould will-ing-ly choose to be your play-th-ing in this land?" Emma wasn't even sure she was talking to herself or her Regina any longer. It didn't make sense to her, how could she be completely in love with someone who had done so many heinous things for so long. Someone who wanted her dead before she was born.

"Emma stop. Think carefully. Do you really mean these words or are you just angry? Do you really think of me as the Evil Queen?" Regina stared at this blonde who looked like the woman she loved and agonizingly waited as she debated her answer. As soon as their eyes met, the reply came.

"Always." Cold.

"Always?" Regina responded, terrified the answer would be the same but wanted to give Emma another chance to realize what she was saying.

"Always." Emotionless.

"Then why did you marry me?" Regina shifted further away but she needed Emma to answer this. If Emma really thought that deep down she hadn't changed, then she didn't know what she was fighting for. It was so easy to be dark.

Emma broke eye contact and stared at her broken body. She loved Regina more than anyone or anything in the world. Even Henry. She couldn't do this to her. Couldn't have Regina coming here every day to visit the shell of the person she was. To spend time together that she clearly couldn't remember. She knew she had said one of the things that would hurt Regina more than anything. It was purposeful, she wanted to push Regina away. For her to have a clean break. Her silence as she debated her tactic was more than noticed by Regina whose own anger was rising.

"You can't answer me because what you're saying isn't true. You married Regina, you know that." Regina was imploring Emma to nod, to affirm that she didn't really mean the words Regina had always worried Emma would eventually speak. Emma had always believed in her, it was the one fact that had kept her going all these months.

"You ruined my w-hole life. Because of you, be-cause of your st-upid curse, I gave up Hen-ry. I g-ave up Hen-ry so he could have his best sh-ot. I can't believe his best sh-ot in the w-orld was be-ing raised by you." If playing the Evil Queen card wasn't going to hurt Regina enough, questioning her ability to mother Henry undoubtedly would.

"You wish I hadn't raised Henry?" Regina was shocked. Completely stoic. Emma had told her countless times how she was so happy that something so bad in her life had turned into something wonderful because now Henry was theirs. She even made them celebrate 'adoption' day.

"You made him mis-er-able. He didn't know what it m-eant to be l-oved until he met me. He g-rew up in a ridiculous town w-here he learned noth-ing about life. He be-lieves a hero w-ill always save the day. How can you th-ink that was ideal parent-ing?" Emma couldn't even believe she was saying these things, even though they were technically true.

"You think I did a bad job raising Henry." It wasn't a question. It was Regina processing what Emma had just said.

"Hen-ry be-ing the fine young man he is is sh-eer luck," Emma defiantly concluded.

"If that's how you honestly feel then I wish you had never come to Storybrooke. You're right, I used to be a Queen, and now I'm as you said a caregiver to a self-centered mumbling brat," Regina retaliated as she stood and started to pace, trying to catch up with what was happening.

"I de-served this to have hap-pened to me, be-cause I loved you," Emma threw back.

"Loved?" Regina was suddenly stationary.

"Yes. Past tense. Gett-ing away from that town made me gain per-spective. Br-ain injuries r-eally help clear the mind. I don't love you." Emma was visibly shaking, hitting her hand hard on her wheelchair. Regina didn't even try to stop her this time.

"I don't believe you," Regina said flatly. A few minutes ago this woman was crying into her chest.

"I'd like you to t-ake your lies and w-alk out that door. And d-on't ever come b-ack." Emma was concluding her plan. Make her leave. Give her a clean break.

Regina stared at Emma. She tried to assess if Emma was lying. Was she purposefully attacking her, saying whatever she needed to to make her leave? As she stared at her trembling wife, she for once couldn't tell. She began to pace taking deep breaths deciding how to handle the next few minutes. She could take the easy way out. Just leave and by tomorrow Emma would probably not remember the fight, the things she said. But then Regina would never know if she truly meant them. She watched Emma trying to prevent tears from falling as she continued to bang her hand rhythmically against her chair.

"Do you really want me to leave, darling? I'd prefer if we could take a few minutes to compose ourselves and talk about this. I don't want to leave you like this." Regina needed clarity on what just happened. Was Emma actually trying to end their marriage, was that what she actually wanted?

"You were sup-posed to be the one per-son who w-ould never hurt me. It's all I re-member you doing lately. So yes. Leave. And never come b-ack." Emma was clear. Concise. Her argument actually logical. It scared Regina.

"Do you want to remember this?" She loved Emma too much to just take advantage of her and just hope she forgot. To do that would be disrespectful to the marriage they had.

"Yes," Emma said quietly, realizing that even if she had a video of the conversation, she probably wouldn't even remember to watch it.

"Then I'm writing you a note so you'll know why I'm not here tomorrow. You're always my priority Emma, just ask and I'll be here, but I'll respect your wishes, as painful as it will be." How could Emma not love her anymore? All she had been trying to do was protect her. She just wanted Emma to live. Not just survive. But live. Regina couldn't contain the tears as she wrote the words that would change her life forever.

**You asked the Evil Queen to leave. Not good enough for Henry. Ruined your life. Don't love her anymore. I said terrible things back I didn't mean. I'm so sorry darling.**

**Call if you want/need me. I want to be here. Always.**

**I love you more today than ever before. –R– xxx**

"Do you really want me to go?" Regina asked as she crouched before Emma and showed her the note to obtain her approval to the content.

"Yes. P-lease leave me alone." Emma confirmed as she accepted the written words. "You can take this with you. It be-longs in your fam-ily," Emma said as she clumsily pulled the necklace that held her wedding and engagement rings over her head, holding the contents out for Regina. Emma looked directly into the brunette's eyes and her shaking hand dropped the universal symbol of their marriage into her palm. Regina stared at the two rings in her hand. Each representing one of the happiest moments in her life.

"Just answer this honestly. Do you believe I love you?" Regina forced out as she tried to contain her tears to just a steady stream. Emma decided that truth for once served her purpose.

"Yes. But it isn't e-nough."

Regina stared at the body within which her wife used to reside. She was beautiful, even now with puffy eyes and a red nose. She couldn't fully believe Emma meant the words she said, but she understood Emma wanted to hurt her. That was something her Emma would never do. She couldn't help her natural reflex of leaning over Emma, as she stood, and kissing the blonde's head. Emma didn't even pull away. Instead, she used her hand to graze Regina's arm, feeling the skin of the woman she loved, one last time.

"Emma, I'm only leaving because you are asking me to. I don't want to go." Regina didn't understand these mixed signals. She wanted so desperately to just have magic and read Emma's thoughts, as intrusive as that may be.

"Go," Emma spoke clearly and moved her body away from Regina's.

"Regardless of what you might think, that light inside of me is you. And I'm going to fight for it." Were Regina's parting words as she held the door ajar, glancing at Emma, taking in as much of her as she could, giving her one last chance to ask her to stay. Emma waited until the front door closed, indicating Regina had finally relented to her wishes and was gone.

 _She actually left. She actually left me_ , Emma cyclically thought as she sobbed and sobbed until her sides hurt as much as her heart.

Once Emma regained her composure, she took the note and the modified pen she had been learning to write with. It took her until the small hours of the morning, each letter agonizingly carved. Eventually, though, she had added her own version of the evening that she wanted to remember.

**Regina lies. You pushed her away with lies. Was easy. Shows she doesn't love you enough to fight. You're worthless to everyone now.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If it helps, I cried. I'm sorry.


	14. The Perfect Apple

Regina had sat and wept in her car for nearly an hour before she managed to settle her tears enough to safely drive the long forty-five minutes home. She replayed the evening in her head repeatedly, trying to calculate where exactly it had all gone wrong. She had told Emma about her memory several times, which seemed to be where everything changed.  _Had I not been sympathetic? Was I too honest? Why did Emma do this?_ Regina, however, couldn't precisely identify her misstep. She hadn't been able to formulate a plan to fix their relationship. She didn't have control; Emma did and Emma wasn't being herself. If she had really meant the things she had said, there was nothing left to fix.

As she parked her new black Mercedes crossover into the drive, she looked sadly at Emma's bug. The car was recently back from Michael's garage after being completely overhauled with an automatic transmission. It cost far more than just buying a new car, but ultimately Regina had decided it was family and Emma's happiness was more important than money. She wasn't even sure if Emma even remembered how to drive, but she wanted the option to be there. She had given the bug's bodywork a full renovation too, and now the car gleamed in the moonlight more than ever. As Regina ran her fingers over the vehicle's frame, she wondered if she had made a mistake. Emma might have wanted something preserved, something to be the same. Her surprise may have taken that luxury from her wife too.

Regina couldn't help but be overwhelmed with emotion as she entered the ever-increasing mansion interior. Everything in the house had been readjusted for Emma; for the day Regina and her doctors thought it was safe for her to leave the facility. Most of the doorways had been widened and safety bars had been installed in the bathrooms. The kitchen had additional counters, low enough for Emma to use from her chair. On one lay an open cardboard box, full of cutlery that was the color and shape Emma could identify; it had just been delivered and was waiting to be cleaned and placed. Regina couldn't help but pick up a blue spoon and carry it with her. It was impossible for it not to remind her instantly of Emma.

As Regina made her way down the newly created corridor to what was to be their master suite, she couldn't refrain from pausing to remember the events of the pictures that hung on the walls. Even though they had only been married a short time, they had been diligent in documenting all of it. She had made sure the pictures were now of them all sitting; she'd removed the ones of Emma running and her favorite picture of all – Emma dancing in the rain when she thought no one was looking. Everyone looked so happy in these moments. Henry was smiling. Regina saw warmth in her own eyes she hadn't shown at any other time in her life. Emma, well, Emma just glowed.

She finally made it to their bedroom, and softly lay on top the bed, which was immaculately made as always. Regina had the new king sized bed placed as soon as possible; it was easier to sleep here, it didn't remind her as much of Emma. At least that was the intention. Regina, however, always slept on her side, longingly looking at the empty space beside her. Eventually she had taken Emma's pillows from upstairs and hugged them as if they were her. On the nights she did sleep and not awoken with the nightmares that plagued her mind, it was only because she made her mind believe that Emma would be there when she woke up, she was just working late, and they'd be together by dawn.

The brunette could do nothing more than curl up as small as possible and stare at the wide abyss in front of her. It was where Emma should be. Instead, she pulled out the rings with her spare hand, held them tightly in a clenched fist, and lowered it onto the wrinkle-free duvet. The intensity of suffering she was feeling couldn't be contained any longer and it was with a loud shriek that she finally did nothing but exist to cry.

"Mom?" Henry asked as he crept into the despair surrounding his mother. "Why aren't you still with Ma? It's early; is she sick or something?" After getting close enough to see that his mother was crying heavily, he couldn't help but lay on Emma's side and face his mom. He didn't speak initially, but rather reached for her clenched hand to offer support. He had seen his mother like this frequently recently, though not usually until she had exhausted herself of magic and tried to sleep.

"Why aren't you with Ma?" Henry repeated as he rubbed his thumbs over Regina's fist, whose knuckles had turned white with the ferocity with which she held the contents. It was clear to Henry that Regina wouldn't be able to form comprehensible words soon, but that whatever was in her hand was significant to her emotional state. He worked slowly to pry her hand open until he finally saw his ma's rings glimmering at him.

"Alright Mom, talk to me, tell me what happened," Henry said as he removed the rings and tried to calm the indentations they had made on Regina's palm.

"S-she t-told me to l-leave, H-Henry, and to never come back." As Regina spoke she looked directly at her son and only saw everything about him that was Emma. Even the way he was comforting her now did nothing but remind the brunette of her blonde.

"Okay, you need to calm down a little Mom, and tell me what happened. There has obviously been a huge misunderstanding somewhere. There's no way Ma doesn't want to see you again." Henry was startled when Regina swiftly rose, using the headboard to support her back. Her ability to regain composure so quickly had always amazed him.

"I don't know Henry, I don't have a transcript. I was telling her about her memory, about how we've told her what is happening here, but that she doesn't remember. And somehow we got from that to her saying things I never thought Emma would say, handing me the rings, and telling me to never come back. At her request, I wrote her a note. She will remember this or at least a version of this." Regina knew she leaned too much on Henry, but right now she needed someone and he was seemingly willing.

"You guys are so stupid sometimes. I don't even understand why you're crying." Henry scoffed as he rolled his eyes. "Like seriously, why is everyone around here so inept at relationships? I'm dating my first girlfriend and I have more maturity than the two of you combined."

"Emily is officially you girlfriend now? When did that happen?" Regina remarked brightly, thankful there was some light in their lives.

"Technically a few weeks ago, but we finally had the unneeded clarification conversation this evening. I decided that if I miss her when she's not around and I don't want to spend time with anyone else, then I should just tell her that. She feels the same." Henry said with a dismissive shrug.

"Henry that's wonderful. You need to take her to meet Emma; we talk about her often and it would probably be useful if she could put an actual face to the name, not just a picture on your phone." Regina smiled, but it broke quickly when she thought that she might not be there when Emma met Henry's girlfriend.

"Enough diversion. So let me guess, Ma figured out how bad things are for you when she realized how much she doesn't remember? What a burden she must be?" Henry was focused, back on point. He got that from both his mothers.

"I suppose so yes. She didn't take it as well as she has before." Regina concluded as she scoured her memory for any tiny nugget of information she had overlooked.

"Right, because she was already sensing something was amiss and Ma blames herself for everything that ever goes wrong. So naturally in her head, despite what you tell her, you're distant, tired, and, let's face it, Mom, you don't look your best, and it is all because she can't remember what day it is," Henry reasoned as if you were asking him the steps to heat up a lasagna.

"But even if all that were true, Emma wouldn't say what she said and give me those," Regina argued as she looked at the contents in Henry's hands.

"Well she probably wanted to push you away, so you wouldn't have to take care of her. She hates feeling helpless and especially detests being a burden. She'll think she's doing you a favor, saving you from it all if you like." Henry watched as Regina started to see sense in his words. She too had thought Emma was just pushing her away, even during the conversation itself.

"But she was so mean Henry. Emma doesn't have the ability to think that way anymore; what she said, she must have thought it before all this." Regina reasoned, unsure if what he was saying was true. Emma had struggled with logic, higher reasoning. It was just another consequence of her injury.

"She's still Ma, Mom. If it were me, I'd start by saying you were still the Evil Queen, maybe throw something in there about reckless murdering, which by the way I'm glad people forget about you. You really aren't that person. There's no way someone who takes joy in killing could love her and me as much as you do." Henry paused, wondering if this was his best chance to get an answer to a question he and Emma had often pondered. "Did you enjoy it, Mom? Killing people?" He was tentative. He watched his mother pause and struggle internally before deciding to answer.

"Yes, in a way I did. But not because I had ended someone's life, but because of the power it showed I possessed and controlled. I get the same pleasure from finalizing budgets." Regina was trying to be honest but keep the conversation light. She hated talking about this element of her past, she loathed that no matter what she did in her life she would always be a murderer.

"That actually makes a lot of sense. You never had control of your life, not since Daniel." Henry couldn't help but regret that he had now brought up everything that caused his mother great pain. The memory of the Queen of Hearts was now undoubtedly entering Regina's mind as he spoke of her first love. "So I'm guessing that wasn't enough, saying you were the Evil Queen, because in a way you still feel like you are. That wouldn't do it." Henry pondered.

"Have you been taking psychology or something?" Regina wondered aloud. Her son was unraveling his mother's love life as if it was some sort of assignment.

"You had me in therapy; you pick up on things. And Emily acts, so she likes to watch people and decipher the reason for their actions. It's a fun game, but it's taught me a lot about why people are the way they are."

Regina couldn't help but be so proud of her son. The things he had done for her and especially what he was doing for Emma were just remarkable and appropriate for a man with far more years behind him than Henry.

"Oh, I've got it. If I really wanted to hurt you, I'd question your abilities as a mother. I'd say you weren't what she had in mind when she wanted to give me my best chance." As Regina's eyes widened Henry knew he had it spot on. Nothing could forge a gap between the two like him. "I have to say handing back the rings was a nice touch." As Henry added his comment he offered the rings to his mother. She took them in her hands, dropping the spoon, and began twirling them in her fingers.

"So she does still love me?" Regina asked her son quietly.

"Was that ever in doubt?" Henry was internally laughing. His mothers not being in love was ludicrous.

"She said she didn't. Not anymore." Regina's words were barely above a whisper.

"Wow, Ma. Yeah, she really wanted to hurt you. It would be the only way. Though, it's a bit shortsighted if she thought you would walk out the door and never come back. She's underestimating True Love. Guess that's brain damage for you." Henry's tone suggested he was whimsically thinking out loud rather than actually speaking to someone.

"Henry." Regina pleaded. She had a strong distaste for anything that made light of Emma situation.

"Mom, you need to accept it too. Ma will keep getting better, but this is your life now. Making memories together she won't keep. She's giving you a chance to ask yourself if you want to do that. She can't run, she's giving you that option. Maybe you should take some time to decide if this is too hard." Henry was staring directly into his mother's eyes, conveying he was being completely serious now.

"Henry, not spending the rest of my life with your mother is not an option. Especially if she still loves me." Henry gave a wide, bright smile. His mom had volleyed the chance of an early exit on her marriage away like it was an annoying fly.

"Didn't think so. I mean look at this place, it's pretty obvious you'll do anything for her. And she hasn't even met him yet." Henry said with a wry smile.

"I would, Henry, you know that. And for you." Regina sighed.

"Well then, try and get some sleep and forgive Ma. It was just a bad day. She just knew what to say to hurt you because she knows you so well. It doesn't mean she actually believes the things she said. In her defense though, it worked." He rose from the bed and subconsciously began removing Regina's boots, which had left a trail of mud in the hallway and on the pristine white bedspread. "The town is safe because of you. You killed the weird flying bat thing that came through. Ma is safe. Grandma and I will go with you tomorrow; she'll have to talk to one of us."

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" Regina asked, showing her son her vulnerability.

"Then I'll just have to talk to her like I talked to you. As I said, you're both idiots." Regina shifted so Henry could surround his mother in covers. It was clear she was too exhausted to even care that she would be sleeping in her clothes. "Ma doesn't realize that it isn't one-sided. You need her as much as she needs you. Without her, I would have worried far more about you these past few months. Maybe you just need to let her see that."

Regina hadn't even heard the last of Henry's words. As soon as the warmth of the covers hit her body, she focused on the rings in her hand. She was thinking of Emma, how she needed her home, next to her.

* * *

Emma woke to a loud shrieking sound as usual. She could barely open one eye to guide her hand to hit the alarm. She groaned as she settled back onto the pillows; she felt exhausted like she had only had a few hours sleep.  _Was I up late? What was I doing? Hmm, I don't remember._ Emma tried to return to her slumber, but something didn't feel right; she couldn't smell coffee or sense Regina. She struggled to turn her body, her hand searching for her wife and was instantly confused as her hand smashed into a railing and not a gorgeous brunette. It took Emma several seconds after opening her eyes to recognize where she was and why, and like every morning, she took a deep breath and found her internal determination to get better and go home. The process of waking was getting easier for the blonde, everything was familiar now.

Emma knew Jenny would be along shortly; she always came right after she woke if Regina wasn't there. She was strong enough now to get in and out of bed, but they just preferred it if she did so supervised. Jenny would help position Emma's chair and make sure the breaks were on as she slid over from the bed. So Emma used the trapeze to sit upright and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, planting her feet on the ground, cradled her arm and simply waited.  _My feet are cold. I need socks._ As Emma searched the interior of the room she found the red paper Regina always used. Its presence was familiar to Emma, but she couldn't place what it was for, or why it was there. All she knew was that it had something to do with her wife. After almost falling as she reached for it, Emma's face lit up when she recognized the handwriting from afar.  _Regina. She always finds a way to be with me._

 _I called her The Evil Queen, I questioned her parenting. I lied, she lied. What did she lie about? Why would I push her away? She left me. She left me. She actually left me._ As Emma read the note several times, trying to absorb as much information as possible to explain why these words even existed, the previous night began to resonate in her head. Regina wouldn't tell her about Storybrooke. Emma didn't want to be a burden, she didn't want Regina to look after her. Words, though, had been apparently been enough for Regina to leave. She hadn't stayed; hadn't made Emma see sense. She had fled at the first opportunity. She didn't stay and fight with or for her. That was all Emma could recall and piece together. If she had lied to Regina to make her leave, she knew she had good reason, whether she could fully remember it or not.

At this realization, Emma felt an emptiness descend upon her that she had never experienced before. She suddenly felt lost, completely alone. Without Regina she was nothing; if she wasn't good enough for her, she wasn't good enough for anyone. She had written the word 'worthless' and she now understood why. She wasn't a savior anymore; her parents had their real child. Emma couldn't contain her emotions as she gazed down upon at her useless limb that now lay at her side at an awkward angle. She looked at her left leg and tried to lift it off the ground. It took more energy than Emma could ever have anticipated to get enough height that her toes were finally suspended. She couldn't hold it though and as her foot crashed to the floor's surface, Emma couldn't prevent tears from falling. She remembered this feeling - that no matter how hard she tried she would never have the strength to stand, let alone walk. It must be why she forced Regina to leave.

Emma didn't notice Jenny's arrival, who always projected brightness around the residents; their lives were hard enough without having to feel sorry for those that were there to help them. She saw Emma working her leg, assessing her mobility, and could hear the whimper that accompanied it.

"Hey, it's okay Emma. I know it been frustrating, but it keeps getting stronger; it's just going to take more time." Jenny tried to sooth as she knelt in front of the blonde. It was hard to not become attached to those in her charge. She saw them every day, battling every emotion. She had seen Emma like this before, especially recently, as her memory began to improve. In response, Jenny did what normally worked, just get Emma moving into her daily routine.

"Have you read Regina's note for today?" Emma nodded, quickly trying to fold it, maintaining the privacy of their relationship. "Want me to put it with the others?" Again, Emma nodded, remembering that there was a box full of them on the bookshelf that was decorated with family photographs and cards from the people of Storybrooke.

"Is there a note from yester-day?" Emma wondered.  _How long have we been fighting?_

"Yes, do you want to read it?"

"Please." Jenny handed it to Emma. It was simple and gave no indication that anything was amiss.

**Morning darling. Today is Monday. Which means no planned activities tonight. Though I can think of a few :) I'll see you at five, as always. Love you more today than ever before. –R– xxx**

"Today is Tues-day then?" Emma wondered aloud.

"Sure is. Lots to do today, so let's get washed and dressed. Shall we?" Emma nodded and complied, but she honestly didn't know what the point of any of this was any longer.

* * *

Emma's behavior throughout the day had concerned the staff. Emma wasn't one to use many words, but her complete lack of verbalization was uncharacteristic. They noted that she hadn't eaten or drank all day, despite attempts from nearly everyone. If she was asked to lift a weight, pull a rope, or write a word she did it without resistance. What was unusual was that Emma didn't add her own reps, didn't try to do any more than was asked. She had sat in group therapy and stared out of the window at a bird that remained perched on a branch. When Mark arrived and saw the blonde staring at her half-finished painting of a red apple, making no movements to complete her work, he was worried. She refused to do anything else; piano, puzzles, games, a walk outside. They were all rejected. It was almost five, if Emma had ever needed her wife it was today. He hoped she wouldn't be late.

"Come on Emma, let's tidy these up and then I'll take you downstairs for dinner. Regina will be here in a few minutes, does that sound good?" Mark offered, desperate to get some form of reply.

"Re-gina won't be here to-day." Emma finally spoke.

"Well, then we will just have to hang out with Lauren then. We play board games on Tuesdays, I'll help you play." Mark suggested as he closed the lid on the untouched paints.

"No thank you. I'll just go to back to my room. Watch some tele-vision." Emma said distantly.

"Only if you eat something first," Mark replied with a telling wink. He was the first person to get Emma talking all day, he wasn't planning on halting her progress now.

Emma didn't have it in her to fight with him; she could stare at food until he eventually gave up, her stubborn trait would see to that. She, however, was surprised when she came into the dining hall and found her mother and son sitting at her usual table waiting for her. The sad expressions they greeted her with only expressed that they knew what had happened the night before. Emma's demeanor told them that she did too.

"Oh, sweetheart. Come here." Snow exclaimed as she embraced her daughter tightly. Emma didn't accept the hug, but sat stationary, waiting for Snow to finish and let her be. Henry fired a text to his mother who was in the car anxiously waiting to hear what state her wife was in.

**She's depressed, that much is obvious. I'm going to say she remembers enough of last night.**

_Make sure she knows she's loved. It will help._

Regina sat alone in the parking lot watching relatives she had met countless times entering the building. She was jealous that their visits would be accepted warmly. All she wanted to do was run inside and be with her wife and talk through their problems. At the same time, she didn't want to make things worse for Emma, more stressful. She hated that she was just sitting, waiting for her phone to buzz. The next time it did it crushed her soul further.

**She's not talking, eating, anything. I'm not exaggerating. She's less responsive than she was when she was in a coma. I don't know what to do. Grandma doesn't know what to do.**

_Will she see me?_

Regina waited for what felt like an eternity and when the reply came, she wished she was still waiting.

**No, Mom. I'm sorry. Mentioning you made her cry and she started hitting her head. I'm gonna take her to her room and talk to her, just her and me.**

_OK._

**It'll be OK Mom. I promise. I love you and so does Ma.**

_Just get her to eat and sleep. She needs to do both. Xxx_

Regina sat back and wondered if she was even doing the right thing.  _Am I really putting the responsibility of fixing our marriage on the shoulders of our teenage son?_   _Wouldn't just going in there and hugging Emma and making her realize I love her more than anything make it all seem more manageable? But Henry said no and Emma told me to leave. I should respect them both._ Snow startled her by heavily opening the door and settling into the seat next to her. Regina was impatient in waiting for Snow to summarize her brief visit.

"Well?" With less than a minute gone, she snapped.

"She's, she's not well. I know we haven't known her long, but I've never seen her like this. Not even close to this. When Henry asked if she would see you, she was adamant she would not. I have no idea what she's thinking, Regina. I'm so sorry." Snow paused, trying to find a solution. True Loves weren't supposed to struggle like this. "Why don't you just give Henry a few minutes to calm her down then go talk to her?" Snow added, trying to be comforting.

"As much as I want to just go in there and be with my wife I have to respect her decision. She doesn't have control of anything in her life anymore. She doesn't get to decide when she gets up, what she does all day, even what clothes she wears is determined by what I brought her. So much of her life is now beyond her control. She needs for me to respect and listen to her. If I don't, it's not a marriage; it's me mothering her. She's told me no twice. She's making that decision and even if I don't agree with the reasoning, I have to respect it."

"So you'll just sit and wait?" Snow questioned, unsure if she could do the same.

"I'll wait. I'll sit here for however long it takes for her to come back to me."

* * *

Thank you for bring-ing me back here, but you can go now. I'll be f-ine." Each word Emma said was deliberate and controlled. She was done with crying.

"Nope. We're going to eat this food and watch the game. Nats at the Braves, series decider. All very exciting." Henry stated plainly as he loaded up the computer.

"I don't want to watch base-ball. Or eat. I'd like to be alone." Emma was growing frustrated that Henry wasn't listening. He was just going about his task humming along.

"Henry!" Emma snapped. Calling him by his first name caught this attention instantly, she always referred to him as 'Kid'. "Please leave," Emma added with venom laced in her voice. It angered Henry, in his mind he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Ma, I'm not leaving. We don't have to talk, we don't have to do anything. Except eat, even just a little. It's not up for debate. Now soup or straight to the chicken?" Henry asked calmly as he got the game going. Emma stared at him, her anger quickly dissipating as she didn't have the energy to maintain it.

"No talking," Emma confirmed the bargain as she decided sitting for an hour in silence with Henry was feasible.

"Fine by me. Now shh. Harper's at the plate." Henry said with a huge smile as he organized the food, Emma's 'eating card', and handed her one of her special spoons. He watched her carefully, noting how much she was eating. He relaxed when he determined it was enough. He could see it was a struggle for his ma; every bite was against her best judgment. He held no doubt that she was doing it for him. It was so typical of their family. They would do anything for each other.

**She's eating, not a lot, but enough.**

When Regina and Snow read Henry's message, they relaxed. They still had Henry who she would respond to.

* * *

After Henry had left the night before, Emma had immediately gathered the note that she and Regina had written. She stared at it for hours before adding the words:  **Burden. Remember nothing. Not fair to Regina. What day is it Emma? Month?** Emma held it tightly as she lay staring into the room she now called home. Regina hadn't been there to draw the curtains, so the outdoor lamp flooded her room with enough illumination so that she could clearly see the pictures in the frames. One in particular caught her eye and she couldn't help but remember the day it was taken.

It had started out as an unremarkable day. It was October and they had gone apple picking. The air was cold before the sun warmed the orchard, so they wore thick jackets, hats, and gloves. They hadn't really gone for the apples themselves, Regina's tree had the finest apples on the land; it was all about the experience. Emma's unrelenting hunger had meant they began their morning with warm apple cider to wash down fresh apple donuts. They had sat on a tartan rug and looked out over the valley at the trees which were a sea of autumn golds, brilliant rusts, and vibrant reds. Although the place began to fill with families seeking the perfect pumpkin, Emma and Regina would never have known that they weren't alone.

When they finally trekked up the mountain to the Fuji apple rows, Regina laughed as Emma started to go off the path, giggling as she grabbed Regina's hand and making her follow.

"I don't think we're supposed to be here dear," Regina stated as she effectively became Emma's lookout.

"Nonsense. This is where we will get the best apples. People have taken the cream of the crop from those already." Regina watched in amazement as Emma scoured the row of trees until her eyes lit up as she found her treasure. "There. I want that apple."

"I hope you don't expect me to lift you up there." Regina scoffed as she saw that Emma, naturally, wanted an apple at the top of the tree.

"Of course not," Emma called as she started climbing. Regina was completely uneasy, she felt like a teenager, breaking a little rule for the thrill. She watched as Emma perfectly balanced herself, stretching and leaning to pick what Regina could only describe as the most perfect apple she had seen from a non-magical tree. She then heard Emma congratulate herself with a resounding, "Yes!" as she pocketed her loot before descending.

"Well, let's see it then." Regina mocked as Emma landed back onto solid ground. Emma's smile couldn't get any wider as she produced the sparkling apple. "I must say it is quite the specimen." Regina teased, playfully.

"Only the best for you. You are a queen after all." As Regina reflected on the fruit, Emma surprised her by withdrawing the apple and taking a huge bite out of it, juices running down her face as she chewed loudly, yet somehow still gracefully.

"Thought it was for me?" Regina said almost confused.

"Oh no, if you want something as perfect as this, you'll have to get it yourself." Emma made her point by taking another bite, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Regina couldn't help but admire the blonde in front of her. Not just a blonde, but one she planned to make hers. She had felt it for a long time before they even started dating, but in this moment saying it was just a reflex, something that felt as though she had been doing it for years.

"I love you." Regina shared with a smile so pronounced it ached muscles in her face that she almost never used. The effect of her words was a woman rendered motionless in front of her, who barely managed to force a swallow of the remaining apple, producing a loud gulping sound into to still crisp autumn air.

"What?" Was all Emma could say in return.

"Right, we haven't said this to each other yet." Regina absently remarked as she closed the tiny gap between them. She raised her hands to either side of Emma's face and looked straight into her glistening green eyes. "I Regina Mills, love you, Emma Swan. It's really that simple."

"I love you too. I have for a long time." Emma said so quickly it was barely separate words. Regina leaned in and deeply kissed the still stunned Emma, never relinquishing control. The kiss was passionate, yet tender. It lasted close to a minute, arousing both women with all that it promised.

"You're right. That was a perfect apple." Regina commented as she acknowledged the moment by taking a picture of the half eaten fruit in Emma's hand while savoring the taste that now lingered in her own mouth. She threw Emma a devious look before turning to walk back to the main path, stuffing her hands back into her pockets. She had left Emma completely astounded, the half-eaten apple forgotten in her hand.

As Emma now lay, a few years later, staring at the picture of the red fruit that she once held, she was crying from both the fondness of remembering that perfect moment out of nothing and the fact they would never have that again. If they did, she wouldn't remember it. She wanted Regina to remember their love as it had been. Carefree, simple, happy. Emma didn't see how they could ever return to that. All because one afternoon, she had slipped in a bubble bath.

* * *

Emma's Wednesday continued the trend that had begun the day before. However, after barely sleeping two nights in a row, Emma was quickly regressing. She hadn't been able to do the ten minute warm-up on the bike in PT, nor operate the door knobs on the practice board in OT. She was barely able to remember and follow basic instructions and Emma couldn't help but almost succumb to sleep as she sat alone at lunch.

"Alright, Wheels. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Lauren barked as she purposefully banged her chair into Emma's, rousing the blonde from her near stupor.

"Hmm. Oh um, noth-ing. Not sleep-ing. Tired." Emma stammered out.

"Or eating by the looks of it." Both looked at Emma's full plate, which she hadn't even tried to pretend to eat. Jenny had tried for twenty minutes, but the blonde just refused. Emma didn't even remember where Jenny had gone.

"Not hun-gry." Emma forced.

"Yes, you are. But you're not eating. So what's wrong? Pretend I care. It's what I do all day." From anyone else, these words would have been whimsical; from Lauren they were simply facts.

"Re-gina left me." Emma finally admitted. Saying the words out loud made it seem more real to Emma and she couldn't stem the tears that followed.

"That stuck up queen left you? I don't believe it." Lauren couldn't have been more surprised. She had expected something to do with her recovery, not her marriage.

"Well I as-ked her to leave and she did." Emma reasoned.

"Wait. So you're mad at your wife for doing what you asked her to do?"

"Not mad. Empty. I just feel empty." Emma didn't know why she was being so honest with Lauren. Perhaps it was because she always felt Lauren showed her a true reflection of herself.

"I don't understand people. Call your wife, Emma. And eat your lunch and get some sleep. Do those three things and you'll feel like your old self." Lauren scoffed, unable to understand why Emma wasn't already fixing the things that were well within her control.

"But I don't w-ant her to come back. I don't w-ant her to put up with me. I mean look at me." Emma pleaded with Lauren, hoping that of all the people she had to confide in, she at least would understand, if not empathize.

"Emma you're being ridiculous. Whether Regina is here or not is a decision you should make together, not for her." Lauren was really trying her best to suppress every instinct she had, if she hadn't she would have tried to physically shake sense into her friend.

"She lies. She didn't stay and fight for me. She wanted an out and she took it." Emma was beginning to lose her thought processes. They had hurt each other. That was all she really needed to know.

"Nope, your argument is illogical. Sorry. Regina would do anything for you, including staying away just because you asked her too. She dotes on you like you're a princess or something. I wish Tom and I had that. He lies to me too, Emma." At this, Lauren picked up Emma's spoon and pointed to the printed card. "Now eat your chicken and rice. And if you don't get your wife here later, I'm calling her."

"Don't. I don't want her here."

"You're not good at lying Wheels. You want her and need her. Life might be fucking shit right now, but imagine how bad it would be without her. Where would you be? Now read and eat or I'll force it down your throat." Just like with Henry the night before, Emma decided it would just be easier to comply.

* * *

"You need to see her Regina; it's not about your relationship anymore. It's only been seventy-two hours and you're struggling to contain it. I don't mean to put this on you so bluntly, but we need you." Snow rationalized as they sat in the parking lot once more.

"I can't Snow, not until she asks for me." Regina sighed, taking a long sip of the coffee she needed. Snow was preparing to sit with her daughter tonight, hoping she could get her to see reason. She knew how hard it was to be away from your True Love. She couldn't imagine being so without hope and in isolation.

"If it were David, I'd be running in there. I don't understand the need to torture yourselves." Snow confessed with a heavy sigh.

"I'm used to suffering, Snow. Emma just made me forget what it felt like for a while. Even before these past two days, we were all suffering, every single one of us. I'm just trying to do what she asks. I can't manipulate her into being there for me."

As Snow gathered her bag they both felt the vibration from her phone. Snow was surprised that it was a text from Emma, she knew it would have taken a long time for her to type something out. Snow didn't speak but simply showed Regina the message.

**I don't want to live like this. Please help me.**

Without a word being spoken, Regina exited the vehicle and jogged to Emma's room, leaving Snow and her message behind.

* * *

Emma sat on her bed that evening staring at the few words scribbled on the paper. She didn't even know what Regina had lied to her about. She assumed it was about what was wrong in Storybrooke, but she wasn't sure. She couldn't remember saying these hurtful lies to her wife. That though, only reinforced her feelings that she couldn't allow Regina to be her caregiver. She began to wonder if she would have to live in a place like this for the rest of her life, with people who would have to watch her all day every day. She thought about her day, she didn't even remember getting dressed that morning.

Emma felt how the ground felt under her left foot. She picked it up and placed it down. She didn't have control, her toes would get caught on the floor each time. A reasonable person would have stopped there, but Emma was determined to understand in this moment how bad it was. She forced herself upright completely balanced on her right leg and with most of her weight on the right arm which gripped the side of her bed for dear life. She maneuvered her left foot to give the best foundation possible and began to slowly shift some weight onto it. Her leg gave way almost instantly and Emma couldn't prevent herself from falling hard onto the floor. The pain reverberated throughout her body and Emma just lay there until she felt she could once again breathe.

The physical effort required to rise to a sitting position, her back against her bed, produced beads of sweat to fall from Emma brow. The exhaustion was felt in her lungs; she had to take deeper more frequent breaths to compensate for the exertion. Emma acknowledged the state of her life, her body and her mind. She picked up her phone, desperate to talk to the one person who would know what to say. She brought up Regina's number and told herself she had to be strong and not call her just because she felt such deep despair that it was hard to breathe. She looked through her contacts. She didn't have many other options. She supposed this was what parents were for. She started crying so intensely, Emma could no longer talk, so she painstakingly typed a text with her index finger.

After pressing send she waited for a reply, hoping that it wouldn't be 'call Regina'. Instead, light flooded her darkened room as her wife stormed in, her face panic-stricken, and her own breathing heavy. Regina paused, her hand still on the handle, assessing if she had made a huge mistake invading Emma's space like this. Her heart couldn't help but ache as she saw how broken her wife seemed. The strong confident woman she slept next to was stripped down to someone she barely recognized. It didn't change how much she loved her, though. She only felt like she could function properly when she was with Emma. Their eyes met and Emma let another set of tears fall before speaking.

"Take me home. Please take me home. Please. Please, Re-gina, p-lease ta-ke m-me home."


	15. Repairing the Unbroken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A guest asked if I were a doctor. That I am not. Well, not a medical one anyway :)

"Please take me home. Please. Please, Re-gina, p-lease ta-ke m-me home." Emma begged.

If Regina's heart was broken, it was now shattered. She couldn't process how wrecked her wife seemed. Her heart filled with sorrow that Emma had cried so many times these past few months; they all had. It was becoming a daily occurrence. She hadn't known what to expect when she read the message, but she hadn't seen Emma like this before; pleading. She took a beat to compose herself before quietly closing the door and slowly walking across the room to sit down next to her sobbing wife. The entire time Emma hadn't stopped her simple, yet loaded plea, breaking Regina's heart with every syllable.

"Re-gina p-lease, p-lease, Re-gina, Re-gina, Re-gina, p-lease." Emma continued. As soon as Regina sat beside her, Emma collapsed onto her lap, using her right hand to grasp her wife's thigh for dear life. Regina was astounded, Emma didn't behave like this; she never showed herself to be this fragile and vulnerable. As Emma shook before her, Regina could do nothing more than use her left hand to stroke her blonde hair, while her right applied pressure to Emma's side, letting her wife know that she was there. Instead of easing Emma's pain and calming her, she felt Emma's shaking increase; her breathing becoming more ragged as she found it hard to continue to fill her lungs. Regina couldn't prevent feeling and appreciating the sheer agony her wife was in, causing her own tears to begin to fall.

Despite Regina's continuous stream of comforting words, Emma's emotional outpour didn't begin to cease or ease. Regina had long since felt her wife's tears wick through her jeans onto her flesh below. She had time to think about the process of what to do when Emma finally calmed. Even though she herself was hurting, Regina knew by the intensity with which Emma was holding her that she hadn't meant the words she had previously spoken. Not all of them anyway. Emma clearly loved her, their relationship wasn't over. They remained in this form of status; Regina believing that the cathartic process of Emma finally letting go was essential. It wasn't until Regina's phone began to ring, following several vibrations which Regina knew were texts from Snow, that their equilibrium was interrupted.

"That's your mother. I'll just tell her you're okay." Regina softly announced while awkwardly removing her phone from her back pocket. "Hi, Snow." Pause. "Yes sorry, I haven't read them." Longer pause. "She hasn't talked yet, just crying." Regina looked sadly down at Emma while her mother conveyed her concern and wondered what she should do. "I would suspect so, but I'll have to ask what she wants when she's a little calmer." After a few more seconds Regina hung up, placed the phone by her side, returning her hand to just below Emma's ribs. The conversation seemed to have distracted Emma enough from her ruminating and her breathing finally started to even out. It may have been a coincidence, though, she had thoroughly exhausted herself. A side glance showed Regina that she had not opened seven messages. They weren't just from Snow, but Henry and David too were desperate to know of Emma's wellbeing.

"That was your mother. She's outside. Would you prefer her, or Henry, or your Dad? Everyone loves you and wants to be here for you. It doesn't have to be me if you'd prefer someone else, but we're not leaving you alone, that's not an option." Regina silently begged Emma wouldn't reject her for the second time this week.

"Stay." Emma finally mumbled, gripping Regina's leg so tightly it actually caused sharp physical pain that the brunette had to hide.

"Okay, darling. I'm not going anywhere." With great relief, she conveyed the same to Snow.

"She'll let me stay." Emma could hear the faint murmur of her mother's voice through the line, feeling shame at the worry she could easily distinguish. "That would be ideal. Gold's new device should have enough of my magic stored for tonight but call me if there's trouble, I'll answer." Longer pause. "Thank you, and will do. Bye Snow." Regina once more cast the device aside and after repositioning her hand she leaned her head against the bed and stared at the ceiling, seeking guidance in what the correct course of action was.

"Your mother sends her love Emma. Everyone loves you more than you could ever understand." Instead of having the comforting effect Regina had desired, it only seemed to upset her wife further and Regina could feel Emma begin to tremble under her hand once more. The pair had a game of sorts. They would always be allowed an agonizing amount of time to talk on their own until the other couldn't handle the silence anymore and could ask a question. That time had now come for Regina.

"Emma it's time to talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking." Regina waited for several minutes, as felt Emma begin to quieten as she contemplated her answer. The sun was now setting, the room becoming darker; the red glow from the sun looming. Regina, therefore, couldn't appreciate her wife's expression during her deliberation. She wasn't even sure she was thinking of an answer. It was possible she had even fallen asleep.

"I don't k-now what day it is," Emma announced, almost unexpectedly.

"It's Thursday." Regina supplied comfortingly. "It's okay that you don't know, I lose track of the days sometimes too." Regina wasn't being naïve. It wasn't a case of Emma not remembering due to a lack of daily structure; she hadn't left a note that morning to tell Emma, so she literally had no idea.

"I don't even k-now what mon-th it is. It's warm, so it's sum-mer, but I don't know. I just don't know." Emma began to whimper as she shared her realization and felt the fear it raised within her.

"I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, but try and take comfort in the fact last week you didn't realize you didn't know. Now you do. It means your memory is actually getting better. I think maybe, maybe it's why you're hurting so much." Regina tried to sooth. "And it's July." Regina added as an afterthought, though she knew telling her wasn't Emma's point, nor would she remember that tomorrow.

"I don't k-now where I am. I k-now I live here; this is rehab for people with brain in-juries. I hit my head and I drown-ed in the bath, it's why I'm damaged. And my room-mate is Lau-ren. But I don't k-now where this place is, how I got here, how long I've bee-n here. I feel like it's been a w-hile, but that's all I can work out." Emma's voice was distant, as though she wasn't really talking to Regina, more like articulating her thoughts aloud.

Regina had to take a deep breath and contemplate her response. Although this was a recurring conversation she had previously navigated, with varying success, Emma was struggling more than ever before. Her wife was really beginning to understand the pieces, she was actively aware of it.

"Emma, I don't want to be all cliché and tell you that you should be grateful for what you have, but after this happened the doctors told us you wouldn't be able to make a new memory. Nothing at all. And you've just shown that you've made more progress than anyone would have ever predicted. And I'm here, we're all here to answer questions like these when you have them. Just ask us, there is no reason for you to be confused." She felt Emma first tense at the knowledge of how bad it could have been and yet somehow then relax as she listened.

"You're in a suburb just south of Portland, it's about forty-five minutes in the car from Storybrooke, depending on traffic." Regina continued. "It's a seaside town just like home. You've been here for three months and we came by ambulance because you were recovering from pneumonia at the time." Throughout, Regina ran her fingers through Emma's hair, her voice remained soft, none of her deep command shining through. Just a voice that tried to take all the pain away.

Regina had given up counting how many times she had told Emma these things. She had tried, like Henry, to see if there was a pattern. If you could tell her the same thing for a given number of days, would it ultimately be retained? Get Emma to repeat new information, make her read it. Nothing seemed to have a relationship. Sometimes she would remember information after one dose, some things, like where she was, never remained, even when told on a daily basis. Apart from when Emma was happy, no memory really consistently lasted more than a few days, before it faded from her mind and became nothing more than a gut feeling, eventually being erased altogether. For anything to really be remembered, it had to habitual.

"Emma, why are you on the floor?" Regina asked, seizing on the silence Emma had offered as she reflected on whether she remembered being told any of this before.

"I fell," Emma answered, simply and honestly.

"You tried to stand?" Regina asked incredulously, suddenly worried that Emma was injured and began looking for signs of bruising and lacerations.

"Yes. To be fair I man-aged to, just on one leg and usi-ng the bed." Emma said as she finally turned and faced her wife. Noticing the expression of near anger momentarily flicker across Regina's face, Emma couldn't help but add, "Sorry."

"That's quite alright dear. You don't appear to have suffered any injuries." Regina concluded after finishing her brief examination of Emma's ribs and extremities. Regina laid the back of her hand onto Emma's forehead after acknowledging the redness of her wife's face. "Think someone needs some water?" She added a soft smile to further show Emma she was safe and everything would be okay. "Come on, get up, we're not going to spend the entire night on the floor."

Regina helped Emma regain her seated position, her back now against her own bed. Regina stood and was about to help Emma off the floor when she stopped and watched her blonde shift her weight as she tried to stand. Regina had to admit Emma was resourceful. She used her right arm to give herself leverage to get weight onto her right hip. She then bent her right knee, maneuvering her foot to underneath her body, using her core strength to push herself up only using one side of her body. Regina was impressed, she didn't think she could do that and she had now been physically training for months. Emma though, after days without sleep and minimal nourishment, only had the strength to get five inches off the floor, before she had to concede that she didn't have the energy reserves to push herself all the way. Emma's frustration was palpable and tore and agonizing wound through both hearts. Emma's arm finally quivered, and she let her exhausted body fall heavily to the floor.

"I know right now you feel defeated, but that was impressive. Really, Emma, you're so strong. I bet with a good night's sleep you'd have nailed that." Regina couldn't contain her astonishment. "You always hide how strong you are from me." She quipped as she bent down to Emma's new eye level. "I know you don't like me helping you. But, may I, or I can call Mark if you would prefer?" Regina lovingly offered, shifting Emma's fallen hair from her eyes.

"This is our life now, isn't it? Me just being the one that you literally have to pick up off the floor. That's our dynamic." Emma noted despondently, her complete despair becoming the forefront of her thoughts once more. She didn't recall feeling weak and helpless before. It wasn't something she ever wanted to associate herself with.

"You have no idea how many times you have metaphorically picked me up these past few months, darling. No idea at all. Based on what I just saw, I'm not sure I am the stronger of us both, but you're definitely the heart. You always will be. You might not be able to move much without me, but I can't breathe without you. And soon you'll be able to pick yourself up, but I'll always need you." Regina couldn't refrain from using her thumb to prevent Emma's latest tear trickling down her cheek. "Besides, me helping you is an odd occurrence, you rarely fling yourself onto the ground like this," Regina added the widest smile possible, before planting a delicate kiss onto Emma's lips.

"You can help me." Emma's voice was dejected as she finally answered after a few seconds of reflection. She didn't need someone else to see her struggling on the floor; she felt pathetic enough.

"Chair, bed or couch darling?" Regina's voice was so even that it concerned Emma; it meant this task no longer phased her wife. She was already acclimatized to being the caregiver and she didn't remember any of the transition.

"Bed. I'm tired." Emma concluded. Emma's assessment had been correct, Regina lifted her with expert hands, the movement graceful, natural, without analysis on how to complete the task.

Emma shifted her body on her bed, so her legs hung off the edge, and moved her arm so it sat at a natural angle on her lap. She had a habit of squeezing it, hoping that she had been mistaken, she would one day feel something. She heard Regina re-enter the room after gathering her drinking cup, filled with bottled water, which was then placed in her right hand.

"Drink through the red part darling." Regina helpfully instructed as she acquired a cool damp cloth from the bathroom that she dabbed on Emma forehead, cheeks and the back of her neck. Emma absentmindedly drank, without further guidance. Watching her wife accomplish such simple task brought warmth and pride to Regina's heart. She wouldn't belittle Emma by pointing out the enormity of the triumph that she had just witnessed. Instead, she filed away with the fondest memories of her entire life. An entry into Operation Mama Bear was its rightful place.

Emma signaled she was finished and instinctively handed the cup to Regina, who placed it on the bedside table. She flicked on the lamp, illuminating the now darkened room. Both women were silent and unsure on how to proceed. Regina stood awkwardly, shifting her weight between her feet, while Emma stared at a non-specific weave of her linen.

"May I sit?" Regina wondered, though all the wanted was to hold her wife in a hug that was so tight Emma would find it hard to breathe. Emma simply nodded. She was confused about what to do. She watched Regina slowly lower herself, maintaining enough distance between them that it felt unnatural, strained. The air suddenly became thick, neither knowing how to begin the conversation they both knew they needed to have.

"How are you here?" Emma asked, delaying the inevitable a little longer.

"I was outside in the car with your mother when she received your message asking for help," Regina replied as she clasped her hands on her lap, staring at shadows cast onto Emma's wall.

"But I th-ought you left me?" Emma showed her complete confusion to her wife as they both turned to face each other and stared directly into each other's eyes.

"No, you asked me to go Emma. I would never leave you of my own volition. Ever." Regina said defiantly.

"But you didn't fight for me. I ask-ed you to leave and you did." Emma was trying to keep control, but just thinking of these words brought her such despair she struggled to hide it.

"Emma-" Regina sighed disbelievingly. "I didn't want to leave, I really didn't. But when you ask something of me, I will always give it to you if your happiness depends on it. I'm not going to force you to be with me, especially after the things you said."

Emma saw the note on her bedside table, her eye line showing Regina what she was now looking at. In reading it, Regina appreciated Emma's brow furrowing, clearly trying to piece together pieces of a jigsaw without the picture.

"This is all I re-member. I'm sorry." Emma said as she handed it to Regina. "I don't want you to look af-ter me. I don't want us to live like this. We won't have apple-s again." Emma couldn't prevent the tears from falling any longer.

Regina struggled to absorb the words Emma had chosen to add. She had lied, Henry was right, it was through necessity, rather than actuality. Emma's self-deprecation, however, was what concerned her the most.

"Oh, Emma. You're not worthless. To anyone. We all love you more than words could ever express. And I don't just mean to me and your family. I mean everyone. The town can't wait to have you home. Everyone asks about you all the time. Look at the cards on your shelf. They're all from this past week. People haven't forgotten about you."

"But I c-an't be the Savoir any-more. It's sup-posed to be who I am." Emma shifted her eyes to look at her uncontrollable limbs, the pain of all she had lost as raw as ever.

"You're still the Savior Emma. You broke the curse. You still have magic." Regina attempted to reassure.

"I'm not your wife any-more either. I'm not even wear-ing my rings." Emma continued, showing she wasn't listening to Regina's rebuttal. Regina couldn't resist anymore; she moved closer and started to rub circles into Emma back, trying to bring her wife support.

"Would you like them back?" Regina said as she indicated their accessibility as she pointed to the chain that now hung around her neck.

"I don't know," Emma responded candidly. "I don't know what I'm do-ing. What my p-lan is." Regina was frustrated but remained calm. She didn't understand Emma; why she was pushing her away, while simultaneously wanting her to be right here fighting for her. At least she was being truthful about her confusion, though it didn't make it easier for Regina to navigate to the reconciliation she desired.

"Let me make it easier for you. Do you love me, Emma? Be completely honest."

"Yes." Impulsive. Not contemplation required.

"Then, will you be my wife?" Regina asked holding the engagement ring up in front of her tear rimmed green eyes.

Emma hesitated, she didn't know what to reply. She knew how it felt to wake up and not have Regina there, in her life. It was desolation. That feeling would never diminish. Equally, she loved this woman too much to make her live a life with a broken, shell of a woman, who could never reciprocate the love she would undoubtedly be given.

"That de-pends, what were you ly-ing to me about? We agre-ed never to lie, which means you've chang-ed." Emma asked as she looked at the note. Whatever it had been, it was enough to begin this process that she had asked Regina to leave.

"I lied about why I was late the night you handed me the rings," Regina replied simply.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to think there was something more important to me than being here with you." Regina had now begun massaging Emma's upper shoulder, she felt the tension and was desperate to relieve it, regardless of their relationship status.

"So wh-ere were you?" Emma asked, instinctively guiding Regina's hand to where her neck hurt most.

"In Storybrooke. I was chasing down a magical creature. It took a little longer than expected." Regina shifted her body entirely so she was now fully behind Emma, both hands kneading the strain that her wife was carrying.

"A ma-gical creature?" Emma asked, both astounded and confused.

"Yes, but I killed it," Regina answered dismissively.

"Is that why I'm st-ill here? Be-cause home has monsters roam-ing around?"

"No. We made a deal a few weeks ago about when you could come home." Regina rose and went to the box of notes, removing a folded blue piece of paper. She showed it to Emma and the blonde absorbed the words.

**Emma can come home when one of three things come to pass:**

**1\. Storybrooke needs your magic to remain safe.**

**2\. You stand using both legs.**

**3\. The doctors tell us you will never stand.**

"So Story-brooke doesn't need my magic?" Emma was acutely confused.

"Not yet. Blue, Gold and I have been using our magic to contain the threat. It's all okay Emma. I promise. If people are in any real, imminent danger I will bring you home. As much as you're my priority, I don't think we could live the rest of our lives knowing we weren't the heroes we know we can be. I would never deprive you of that." Regina returned to her position behind her wife, her fingers again applying healing pressure.

"Do I even have ma-gic? Does it still w-ork?"

"Oh, you have magic, really destructive magic." Regina teased. "As for working, I think there may be a period or readjustment when you get home." Regina suddenly stopped her hands and moved so she could be candid and direct with Emma. "Although none of these things have happened yet, there honestly is more to it than this, for me anyway." Emma grew concerned as she saw Regina struggle to keep her anguish from being displayed.

"I'm worried what might happen if you're home alone. Your memory scares me, Emma. I don't know what you might forget, what might happen to you. You could so easily hurt yourself because you forgot the stove was on." Regina could no longer contain her emotions. "You're getting so much better here, I just want you to get as well as possible. I can't lose you, Emma. Not again."

Even with her memory, she knew this was the first time Regina had told her this as she lay her head on her shoulder. Emma tilted her head and breathed the familiar scent of the honey vanilla shampoo Regina used. She heard her inhale deeply and she felt Regina's hand begin to caress her back. Regina hadn't meant this to be the consequence of her confession, but Emma felt guilty. She felt a minute amount of the burden Regina carried in trying to make their life the best it could ever now be, and it was already overwhelming.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I slip-ed, that I did this to us, that I took away our happy end-ing." Emma grabbed the only part of Regina she could reach, her arm, and hoped the intensity with which she held it conveyed the depth of her sorrow.

"No, Emma. I blame myself. I'm the Evil Queen, I'm not meant to have one. I'm so sorry you're paying for my crimes." Regina wept, almost incoherently. She was finally letting Emma see her grief.

"You're not the Evil Qu-een any-more. It had noth-ing to do with this." Emma was adamant.

"You said I was. You still believe I have that in me, the desire to kill." Regina said despondently.

"Re-gina, I-I don't think that at all. I would-n't have married you if I did. I was just say-ing what I had to, to push you away. That's both what is writ-ten and what I be-lieve." Emma didn't think she could regret her words more until now. The effect on Regina was profound, reaching the very belief in who she thought herself to be.

"You really don't think I can be consumed by darkness?" Regina lifted her head off Emma's shoulder, her tear stained cheeks bringing another wave of remorse to Emma's heart.

"I think, that if some-one hurt Hen-ry and I at the same time, then yes, you m-ight seek re-venge." Emma responded with a heavy, honest sigh. "But I think that app-lies to all of us. It's what makes us human. Not evil."

"And Henry?" Regina speculated hopefully.

"May-be, when we first met I th-ought that. But no, Re-gina. I could-n't have asked for a better mother for our son." Emma expressed as she lovingly stroked Regina's hand. "I'm sorry I said those th-ings, that I pur-pose-fully hurt you. I was just try-ing to protect you."

"I think we need to stop protecting each other. It seems to be backfiring." Regina noted. The pair couldn't help but laugh as their foreheads met. Neither wanted to end the moment by speaking, so they both relaxed and breathed in the feeling of home the other provided.

"Shall we just put it down to a bad day?" Regina finally posed holding the rings in front of Emma once more.

"It doesn't ch-ange anyth-ing, I don't want you to live the rest of your life tak-ing care of me." Emma reiterated sadly.

"Emma, I'll take care of you and you'll take care of me. It's what marriage is. It's not always going to be even. Sometimes I'll need you more than you need me and vise-versa." Regina was desperate for Emma to see the sense in her argument. "Any pain we may experience together pales in comparison to the torture of us being apart, darling."

"This isn't what we agree-d to. I don't think I'll ever stand Re-gina, let alone w-alk." Emma had lost control of her emotions once again. Her strength to allow herself to push Regina away was, however, finally beginning to diminish.

"Emma it's still early. Lauren didn't stand for months after her accident. It takes some people years. The fact you can't do it yet doesn't mean anything. And as much as I want this to happen for you, I don't need it to. I just want you, Emma. I just want any version of you that I can have."

"Then can I come home?" Emma asked hopefully.

"No," Regina said with a telling smile.

"Please?" Emma began to beg.

"I have a surprise for you, but because of it, you can't come home just yet." Regina's eyes lit up as she thought of how happy she might just make her wife.

"What sort of sur-prise?" Emma's interest was fully piqued.

"One that I hope will make your life easier and happier. There's someone you have to meet. That was supposed to happen on Monday, but I'll make some calls in the morning and see if we can arrange it for tomorrow. I think it will help a lot." Regina ran her fingers though Emma's long blonde hair lovingly, forgetting the past few days and just seeing her Emma staring back as she tried to work out her plan.

"I have to meet someone, and that's a surprise?" Emma asked baffled.

"Yes. Do you trust me?" Regina raised her eyebrows, her devious side failing to be hidden.

"Always."

"Then wear these?" The rings were raised once more, the warmth of the brunette's eyes breaking any lingering resolve that Emma had for them to be separated.

"Only if we can shred the note. I don't want to remember this." Emma raised her own eyebrows, hoping that this was a burden she wouldn't have to carry. She didn't want to know the pain she caused. It was the only benefit to her brain injury she could currently appreciate.

"Your wish is my command, my princess," Regina said as she returned the rings to their rightful location, the note torn, the night erased from her Swan.

* * *

Emma couldn't quite place why, but she grew increasingly confused as the morning progressed. Something seemed out of place. She woke next to Regina, showered and dressed as always and the pair enjoyed a morning stroll around the circular path that surrounded the main complex. Breakfast was normal, Regina was attentive and loving, constantly touching Emma at every opportunity. It wasn't until she went to physical therapy that things started to feel unusual, but she couldn't place why. Emma focused and seemed back to her usual dedicated self to the staff. She was back to doing extra reps and providing quips about her performance.

Regina, herself, had slept and recovered from her emotional week, relishing the reflex kiss Emma gave her as she woke. The way she had nuzzled into her body as she fought the alarm. The habitual twirling of her rings as she waited for Jenny. Henry had driven up with Snow, he didn't want to miss Emma's expression. Snow didn't either. The town had been quiet overnight, Regina could rest, recharge and spent most of the morning relaxing in Emma's room after everything had been arranged.

They ate lunch together as a family, Emma completely unaware that anything had been amiss during the week. Henry carried the conversation as Regina and Snow became nervous that Emma wouldn't like their proposal, which would somehow backfire. The closer it came to them meeting, the more apprehensive they were that Emma would reject him. That they had made a mistake. Regina needed this to work, though. Otherwise, she feared, Emma really would loathe the rest of her life.

"Stop, this is w-rong." Emma commanded as Regina started to lead her back to her duplex. "I have OT now. We're go-ing the w-rong way."

"Not today darling, today we have a surprise for you." Regina couldn't help but feel elated, Emma knew this day was different from all the rest she had lived recently. Progress.

"Is that why everyone is here?" Emma wondered.

"Sure is Ma!" Henry interjected excitedly. "Just go with it."

When they arrived back in the main room Emma couldn't identify what was different. There weren't presents lying around for her to open. Her belongings weren't packed; she wasn't going home. Regina seemed tense and her knee started to bounce as she checked her watch continuously.

"Wii tennis?" Henry proposed, realizing the adults were being more than awkward.

"Sure Kid," Emma replied, understanding there was no point asking, neither mother nor wife was going to spill.

Henry's diversion worked, though. Emma was so involved in their five-set match that she didn't hear the car drive up or the pair approach the front door. Regina was on her feet immediately, the door open, long before it was required.

"Hi, Simon, it's good to see you again. Thank you for moving up your timetable." Regina expressed as she offered her hand for a firm shake.

"Not a problem Regina. He's ready. Still a surprise I assume?" Regina nodded as she smiled at his companion.

"Emma, darling. I want you to meet someone. He's here to help you. His name is Baxter." Regina said as she stared into Emma's eyes before moving slightly to the left so Emma could see past her. Green eyes widened in sheer excitement as they met those of hazel.

It would turn out to be everything Regina had hoped for her wife; she had just met a new best friend.


	16. Baxter

"You got me a dog? Not just any dog, but a choc-olate lab?" Emma almost screeched, unable to contain her joy. She had never told Regina of the puppy that had become her best friend in a foster home. It pained her more to leave him than the family itself.

"He's a service dog, Emma. You, Baxter, and Simon will need to work together for a while so his training can help you." Regina said as she shifted her body entirely out of the way so there was nothing between Emma and Baxter.

"Can I touch him?" Emma asked, feeling awkward as everyone just stared at the pair.

"Yes, of course," Simon agreed with a chuckle as he removed Baxter's leash. "Baxter. This is Emma. Go say hello."

The way Baxter took the few steps, then sat next to Emma and offered a paw made everyone in the room feel the joy that had been lacking from their recent lives. Emma was completely engrossed, unaware of the rest of the world as she first shook the presented paw then proceeded to stroke his head and play with his large floppy ears.

"What w-ill he help me with?" Emma wondered aloud, showing her naivety.

"Well, Baxter is already full trained in retrieval and using episodic memory. So he can help you get things and remind you where you're supposed to be or where you left items," Simon answered helpfully as he moved to sit on the couch next to the pair.

"I'm also told that you get migraines? Most dogs can naturally anticipate that is going to happen, but it will take a fair bit of training for him to pick up on your signals and for you to learn that he is warning you, but, in time he might be able to help with that too." Simon looked to Regina to see if he should proceed with the fourth thing Baxter would undoubtedly help with. Something Emma wouldn't really want to be discussed in front of so many people. Regina knew it was appropriate for her to take the lead on this.

"Baxter may be able to help you deal with your emotions too, darling. He will learn ways to make you not feel so alone, maybe keep you a little calmer," Regina said softly as Snow and Henry respectfully turned away.

"That see-ms an awful lot for him," Emma declared sadly as she reconnected with his hazel eyes. His expression mirrored that of hers and Henry when they wanted their way. Regina was never going to win any argument now that it was three against one.

"Well, he gets a best friend for life out of it too," Simon assured. "How about the three of us start with a few basics, like sit, stay, heel, that sort of thing? It doesn't appear that connecting with each other is going to be much of a problem."

"Right, and the three of us will go for a wander outside. Leave you to it." Regina leaned in to softly plant a kiss on Emma's cheek as her wife continued to be enthralled by the perfectly behaved dog, who did nothing but stare back. Emma reacted to her wife and kissed her lips in return.

"Thank you. Thank you for do-ing this for me." Emma conveyed with the most sincere of words.

"I can't take all the credit, Dr. Meyers gave me the idea. And as for him, he's the only dog that didn't bark at me." Regina leaned in and whispered. "He seemed to be okay with my darkness. Also, he's adorable. I can't deny that."

* * *

"Are you ok-ay with this?" Emma asked Lauren who was looking at Baxter skeptically as she used her walking frame to approach the couch for a little roommate movie-night bonding.

"Oh yes. Regina asked me. She's really quite considerate. Besides look at him. You've had him for like five hours and he only watches you. That's discipline." Emma watched as Lauren slowly and deliberately walked to her couch and lowered herself. Emma couldn't prevent the single tear that fell from her left eye. Baxter was immediately up from his relaxed position; his paws on Emma's lap, his head atop of them. It surprised Emma and she couldn't help but stroke his soft head.

"Aww, who's a good boy?" Emma said as she tried to hide her emotions.

"That's the fewest tears you've shed after watching me do that! Go, Baxter!" Lauren scoffed. "Where is Regina tonight anyway? I thought you guys made up?"

"She had to go to Story-brooke, they needed her magic. She'll be back soon actually," Emma replied without processing her words.

"Her magic?" Lauren asked, utterly confused.

"Yeah, to contain the evil, she's really the only one that can do it. Well, see-ing as I'm here, other-wise I'd help too. Well, that's assum-ing my magic still works. I don't know really, I'll have to try it out when I get home." Emma was so distracted by Baxter she lost her usual impeccable control of not divulging their fairy tale reality.

"Your magic? What are you talking about, Wheels?" Lauren was worried Emma's new medication was negatively affecting her mind.

"Oh, um May-or Magic. There's a crisis, she's sort-ing it out. I, um, was good at that, as Sher-iff." Emma backtracked. "Wait, what do you mean made up? We fought? Me and Re-gina?" Emma wondered as she let Baxter retreat to his former location by her feet.

"I always forget that you forget. The irony. Yes, you had quite a stressful week. That's why she was here this morning." Lauren could see the complete confusion on her roommate's face. "You guys talked a lot last night. I'm sure you sorted out your issues."

"Hmm," Emma moaned as she forced her mind to remember the past forty-eight hours. Her hand absentmindedly reached for her rings that she began to rake along the chain.

"Emma, do you remember me telling you that I'm going home soon? Probably in a couple of weeks?" Lauren prodded with a glimpse of tact.

"No, but that's great news! You must be so ex-cited!" As Emma spoke, Baxter once again placed his paws on the Savior's lap and offered his soul as support.

"I sense your four-legged friend is going to make it hard for you to disguise your emotions." Lauren couldn't help but laugh as Emma tried to look happy but was clearly being torn apart inside.

"I am happy for you. I'm just go-ing to miss you," Emma reasoned. "Where is home?" Emma began to wonder if she was ever actually going to see Lauren again.

"Oh, we live north, inland, by Lincoln. It's why I'm here, not much in the way of medical institutions around," Lauren said dismissively as she lifted the remote and navigated to the Netflix menu.

"Oh," Emma replied with a heavy sigh.

"Fear not, Wheels. I'll remember you. It takes more than a hundred miles to get rid of me. I'm quite the e-mailer. Now, will we just watch Friends while we eat?"

"Yeah, ok-ay," Emma replied, not really paying attention. She was still trying to recall the fight with Regina and began ruminating on life here without Lauren.

"Here, concentrate on this," Lauren suggested as she opened the pizza box and tossed a slice on a plate before handing it to Emma, complete with her 'how to finger eat' card. She had decided that now Emma was eating they should make the most of it. A comfortable silence fell on the room as they ate, only broken by the antics of twenty-somethings dating in New York. Emma didn't need to watch and break her focus on eating to follow the show. Within minutes, Baxter had once again retreated and began relaxing at Emma's feet.

"Want a beer?" Lauren offered as she opened one for herself.

"I don't think I'm supposed to, you know with all the anti's I'm tak-ing," Emma expressed as she looked at the bottle skeptically.

"I'm sure one won't kill you." Lauren surmised as she poured the contents of a bottle into Emma's cup.

"F-ine, but if I die, you'll have toex-plain it to Regina," Emma teased as they clinked bottle to cup.

* * *

**End of July**

Emma and Baxter had settled easily into their routine. They had intense training sessions together with Simon twice a day, in the morning at the facility and in the afternoon at the dog training center. Emma had to learn the commands and structures Baxter knew and Baxter needed to understand Emma. Their instant connection meant the transition had been seamless for both; each responded well to structure and discipline, so training had been straightforward, despite Emma's lack of long-term memory. They mutually shared the trait of work hard but then play hard. They loved being ridiculous after training; in particular playing with modified pull ropes and fetch with Baxter's favorite ball. They equally loved food and relaxing together was so natural it didn't require anything more than intuition. They were inseparable. Even in his 'off' time, Baxter sought Emma. Simon had remarked that he rarely saw such a bond.

The late afternoon had brought them into a small room, on the second floor, which was overly decorated with plants and framed pictures of nature. Two sets of eyes were watching Dawn, who Emma lovingly referred to as 'Chat Lady', write a few notes in her over-worked, slightly tattered looking iPad.

"Okay Emma, as always I want you to tell me how you're feeling today on these scales. Happiness, loneliness, contentedness, and anxiousness," Dawn asked of Emma as she handed her a magnetic board with large sliders. The emotions were to be ranked from 1-10, ten being the most positive. Emma remembered doing this; she wasn't confused by the task, but she couldn't really remember her previous answers. As Dawn received the board and entered Emma's feelings that day to her iPad, she looked carefully at Emma and then Baxter, and couldn't help but smile. Emma looked confused, she wasn't sure what she did wrong.

"I want to talk about Baxter today Emma. Would that be okay?" Dawn asked. She liked Emma enormously and wanted more than anything to help her accept her new found reality. It was, however, hard to have productive cognitive therapy with people who didn't remember their sessions; personal growth was negated if they didn't know they were working on their issues. Dawn had easy established that Emma had many, wide-ranging problems that she had never fully dealt with. Regretfully, Dawn was mostly confined to using her time with Emma to give the psychiatrist guidance on medications and help the staff and Regina make adjustments that wouldn't betray the doctor-patient confidentially that they liberally enjoyed.

"Yeah that's fine, but what about him? D-on't you like him? Are you allergic or someth-ing?" Emma always put others first; that hadn't changed.

"No, I'm not allergic. I want to know how you feel about him," Dawn prodded.

"I don't know what you mean. He's per-fect. Just look at him," Emma responded, her eyes finding his as he raised his eyebrows slightly, seeing if Emma actually needed something.

"In what way is he perfect?" Dawn nudged further.

"You realize I don't re-member stuff right? Um, I don't know. He helped me this morn-ing. I dropped my phone and he picked it up for me. Then at lunch, I forgot how to eat and he helped me regain focus so I look-ed at the card to read the instructions. But it's not just st-uff he does for me. I feel like he's my friend; he's there for me when I'm sad and will be really silly with me and play," Emma declared slowly as she scrutinized her fluffy friend and thought about their day so far.

"You remember playing with him?" Dawn wondered as she scribbled notes with her stylus.

"Ha ha yeah. I don't know when it was, but Henry, Bax-ter, and I played around in the sprinklers; we were soaked and he walk-ed right over to Regina and shook his wet coat all over her. Her ex-pression was priceless. He knew what he was do-ing too because he ran away right after. I swear he was laugh-ing. Regina somehow got over the shock, decided she was already wet now and joined us. It was hilarious." Emma's laughter at regaling the tale was so genuine she rocked back in her chair just to give her room to take more air for oxygen.

"How long have you known Baxter, Emma?" Dawn was fascinated by the clarity of the memory Emma had just shared.

"I don't know. A few months? It feels like a long time," Emma concluded after staring at him again.

"Would you be surprised to learn you've only known each other for eighteen days?" Dawn was finding it hard to remain calm and not dance with glee at the progress Emma had just made.

"Oh um. I guess so. I suppose I don't have a great sense of time," Emma noted as she tried to recall exactly when she met Baxter. "Hmm, I met him on a Fri-day. Regina was smil-ing, her eyes were bright and warm. She likes him too. I didn't even know she was a dog per-son. We never discussed hav-ing a pet." Emma was back into her habit of just thinking out loud, she was in no way actually conversing with Dawn.

"And how do you feel about Regina?" Dawn was curious if the anxiety and tension Emma had expressed weeks earlier had continued to dissipate.

"She's the love of my life. She, like every-one, she has flaws. But she's per-fect to me. For me, I suppose. We br-ing out the best in each other. I love her so intensely it actually hurts when she's not with me. Like right now I miss her. And I know I'll see her in a few hours, but I miss her in this instant. You can live with-out limbs, but you can't live without a heart. She's my heart." Emma paused, astonished at the articulation of feelings she had just participated in so freely. "I'm sorry, that was over-shar-ing. I love her. That's how I feel."

"It's therapy, Emma. You're supposed to over-share here. That's the point." Dawn couldn't prevent herself from laughing. Emma always walked this line of opening up and holding back simultaneously. It as though she were ashamed at expressing herself.

"Oh, right. That's true." Emma began to shuffle showing she was uncomfortable. Dawn waited to see if Emma would say more unprompted, but it became clear she needed another question before information would flow again.

"And how do you feel about your relationship, your marriage, going forward?" Dawn had heard Emma answer this question in a variety of ways. She was curious, with Emma being in such positive place what she'd declare today.

"Well," Emma said with a heavy sigh. "I think th-ings will be hard when I go home. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do when I get there. I'm sort of noth-ing now." Emma stopped looking at Dawn and stared downward.

"You think you're nothing to Regina?"

"No, I mean in life. I don't have a function any-more," Emma shared quietly.

"Are you referring to being Sheriff?" Dawn was treading carefully, being specific. Emma always shut down when they started talking about her sense of self-worth.

"Yes. I don't have a job now. My role, I don't have one. I'm just sort of like Re-gina's wife." Emma's voice was now so quiet and distant it was almost inaudible.

"And Henry's mother." Dawn pointed out.

"Well, not really. Re-gina is his mother, I just gave birth to him. I'm more like, I dunno, a sister now? Just generally I'm noth-ing, I'm worthless. I always have been."

"Why do you think you have always been worthless, Emma?"

"I guess because I wasn't wanted as a baby. After that, you carry this funda-mental sense that you're not good enough. The people that made you didn't want you. I know I've met my parents and they love me and the circumstances of my child-hood were under-standable, but it never leaves me. It's always there, like a little voice making sure I never forget, even when everyth-ing seems perfect in life. It's why I gave Henry up. I was in prison, I had noth-ing to convince me that I would ever make a decent mother; he deserved someone more worthy. Now I blame myself that he may feel that at some point too. But, this feel-ing, it's why I didn't let my-self fall in love after Neal until I met Regina. I had found my place in life. Everyth-ing that happened to me, brought me to this point. I liked being Sheriff, I liked sav-ing people. Now, I don't know what I'm supposed to do for the next fifty years." During her analysis, Baxter had risen and placed his paws and head on Emma's lap. Her dialogue only continued because she was half distracted by the love in his eyes and the relaxing feeling stroking his head brought her.

"You define yourself by your profession?" Dawn knew all about Henry, about his adoption. What that decision had done to Emma. It was all there in her file. Every time they talked about it, Emma cried and closed down. She was trying a different approach.

"Partly. It's just who I was, someone that helped others, I liked the feel-ing," Emma tried to reason, without slipping that she was the Savior, responsible for bringing back happy endings to those from the Enchanted Forest. That would undoubtedly get her a few more pills in her morning cocktail.

"And now you feel that the roles have been reversed?"

"I suppose. People have to help me now, constantly. " Baxter gave a little whine as he felt the sadness in Emma begin to engross her. He tried to put more pressure on her leg so she would focus on him, not her mind. Without averting her eyes from his paw, Emma added, "I know, I have a Savior com-plex. I just miss feel-ing needed."

"I think you're overlooking the fact that you are needed, it just might not be in the same way as before," Dawn suggested.

"Well, he needs me to feed him," Emma cracked as she couldn't help but feel the warmth penetrate her from the hazel orbs as she finally made contact with them.

"Do you remember how you came to own Baxter?" Dawn asked seizing on Emma's change in mood, in an attempt to keep her talking and not shut down, as she invariably always did.

"Regina got him for me," Emma answered simply as she played with his left ear.

"Why do you think she did that?"

"To give me as much indepen-dence as possible. Regina knows I don't like to rely on people, that I need our relationship to be as balanced as possible. She'd do anything for me."

"Yes, your wife has a way of getting things done. Normally people wait months, years even for a service dog. That's why this place isn't full of them. I have no idea how she made this happen."

"Magic," Emma responded dryly. "Regina is magical. You'd be a-mazed at what she can do."

Dawn was quiet for a few minutes as she watched Emma pet Baxter. It was as though Emma completely forgot where she was and even began talking to him, shaking his paw and making him happy by calling him 'a good boy' and commenting that 'we love Regina don't we?', eliciting a strong wag of Baxter's tail, confirming his complete agreement.

"Emma, I want to show you something," Dawn said as she turned her iPad around so Emma could see. "I ask you to rate your emotions every time we meet and I chart them." Emma looked and saw that her moods were volatile, to say the least. She had been everything from a one to an eight on all the scales. But the eights had only been during the past four sessions. "This here, the trend upwards, this is when you got Baxter."

"Well, that's because, well, just look at how cute he is," Emma exclaimed in high pitched squeal only reserved for ogling at babies and calendar-worthy animals.

"Emma, try to give an honest answer as to why you think that is," Dawn helpfully prompted.

"Well, loneliness is obvious. Content, I'm not de-pendent on people as much. I feel guilty about mak-ing him work for me, but then he seems happy, I mean look at that tail." Emma continued to study the charts. "Hmm, Happiness? I guess I'm learn-ing to accept all of this. Like, I just knew I didn't remember things today, no one had to tell me. It's counter-intuitive, but I know I don't remember. I know that tomorrow I won't remember being here, because al-though this feels familiar I don't recall any of our previous conversations." Emma paused and looked directly at Dawn. "Is this what you want from me?"

"Just say whatever you're feeling or thinking."

"Okay, well, I have my family, my son. I have Regina and I have him. I have more than a lot of people here. It's st-range, but I love Regina more because of him. She just keeps prov-ing how much she understands me, how much she loves me. It must be so hard to come here every day and see me like this, but get-ing him? That must have taken effort and time, but she did that, she did that for me, to make me happier. To help me cope. So I see him and he just reminds me how much I love her and her me. It's a big step bring-ing him into our house, our life. So it doesn't surprise me that now I have him I'm happier. He represents Regina's love for me." The entire time Emma focused on Baxter and got lost her in own monologue.

"You've made remarkable progress today Emma," Dawn said, almost unable to contain her joy.

"Well that and the independence thing, and the cuteness and how soft his ears are. Because you're just adorable aren't you? How could I not be happier?" Emma deflected as she cooed at her chocolate furry friend.

"What about anxiety Emma? Why do you not feel anxious today?"

"I guess I can look at him and know I'm loved and there is a solution to everyprob-lem. I just might not be able to see it." Emma couldn't prevent herself from resting her forehead between his eyes.

* * *

**Beginning of August**

"How exactly did you have so much stuff? I don't have even half this amount," Emma asked as she could finally navigate her chair around the obstacle course Lauren's imminent move had created.

"I overcompensate. I may bring things every time I visit. Over several months it adds up," Tom noted as he came to carry the final load to the car. "Guess I paid the price for that today," he added, as he subconsciously rubbed his aching back.

"Looks like that's everyth-ing then," Emma remarked, taking in the barren living room, her voice near to breaking. Lauren wasn't messy, but she liked to nest. Intentional or not, the room had been full of her blankets, pillows, magazines, and a healthy collection of board games.

"I'll just go and make sure Tom has everything situated," Regina declared as she gave Emma's shoulder a tight squeeze as she walked past.

Lauren and Emma sat with an uncomfortable space between them, far more than two friends should ever have when saying goodbye. Baxter sat, as always, at Emma's feet and the blonde could feel the emotions building in her. Her eyes were already beginning to fill with tears that would immediately fall with the next blink.

"Wheels, don't cry. You won't even remember me. And you'll be going home yourself soon; I think Baxter has seen to that. You're so strong now, you'll be standing in no time," Lauren said matter-of-factly.

"I don't want to forget you. The people we meet in life make us who we are," Emma pointed out as she gave herself a shake and handed the less than subtle parcel that sat on her lap to her parting friend. "I wanted to get you someth-ing. It's probably the wrong th-ing, but it resonated in my head that you would like this."

"Well, I already have something from you. I sort of stole one of your paintings. The one you finished last week of our backyard. And I like the creative wrapping," Lauren noted the mess the large rectangular box was in.

"You try wrap-ing a present one-handed with a dog convinced he should help tear the tape. It's quite the challenge," Emma remarked, adorning a small smile.

"Well here is your gift. I hope it will help," Lauren said as she excitedly unwrapped her three thousand piece jigsaw of the Sydney Opera House. "Oh my God Wheels, I told you about this one time a few weeks ago. You remembered!"

"Yeah," Emma responded sadly. She had opened her own gift; a framed picture of the pair playing checkers. The frame was clearly homemade, inscribed along the top were the words 'call me whenever and often', and along the bottom was clearly her phone number.

"Sorry, I don't possess the artistic abilities you do, but I was told making stuff was more sentimental. Thought that might help you out," Lauren said, feeling a little unsure, as always, as to what the appropriate response would be to the emotional blonde in front of her. Emma's recent improvements had made her more sensitive than the earlier months of her stay. "I like my gift. I'll use it as a less than subtle way to tell Tom I want him to take me there," She added hoping to reprieve the blonde of some despair.

"Thank you. I'm sure Regina will help me," Emma replied, using the strongest, clearest voice she could fake.

"You were the best part of this place, Wheels. You're the most determined person here. You inspired me. I watched you in PT and how you push yourself every day beyond what should have been physically possible. I don't know where that drive comes from. You made me work harder. You helped me stand. You helped me walk. I'm a killer e-mailer, I won't let you forget me. Like it or not you're my best friend. So thank you, thank you for drowning and being here for me," Lauren attempted a little humor as she saw Emma being to shake as her emotions continued to rise.

"You're welcome, I guess," Emma chortled.

"What I'm trying to say, rather loquaciously, is that I will miss you, Emma," Lauren confessed, her uneasiness with feeling an emotion apparent. Emma seized the natural opportunity to hug the brunette; their first ever embrace. It was awkward, a little stiff, but both got from the contact what they needed. Lauren maneuvered herself back then down the ramp to meet her husband, leaving the blonde to sob into the comforting fur of Baxter.

* * *

"Do you need a hand, Tom?" Regina asked as she met him by the car. "I left alone them to say goodbye."

"I think everything is set. I almost wish they were going home at the same time. Lauren can't really express it, or feel it, but Emma had had a profound effect on her," Tom commented as he closed the trunk.

"Things seem better between the two of you?" Regina observed.

"Yes, we've had a lot of couple's therapy sessions. My brother also gave me a good kick up the arse." At Regina's raised eyebrows, he elaborated. "I turned up at his house one night blind drunk, woke his wife, kids, his neighbors. Wasn't pretty. He made me realize that I have to see if I can love who she is now, not who she was."

"And that's something you can do?"

"We'll see. I find her brutal honesty quite refreshing at times. She's actually hilarious in her own way. We both want to try. She has to learn to love me too. We agreed to give it six months and then decide what to do."

"So you forgave yourself?" Regina wondered.

"No, I never will, will you?"

"No." Flat, defiant, a reflex. Regina would never forgive herself for such reckless use of magic that day. However, in time, she would learn to live with her choices. The same applied to Henry and the Charmings. It was a weight everyone would forever bear. An awkward silence fell between the pair, neither sure of what to discuss in these final few moments.

"Baxter has been great for Emma," Tom finally announced. "Lauren really took to him too. Having someone to care for really helped her practice things she was learning at group. When things are settled, if she wants, we will go to the shelter and adopt some lost soul."

"Yes, I am delighted the effect he has had on Emma and her recovery. He's family."

"How exactly is it that you know precisely what to do to make things better for her?" Tom wondered. He had been amazed at Regina's ability to anticipate and react to Emma's changing needs. He was never going to win 'spouse of the year' but compared to Regina he knew he fell so short that he didn't even suit up for the game.

"I just try and see the world from her perspective. Big gestures are nice, but it's the little things that show you really care," Regina stopped mid-sentence as she saw Lauren exit the front door. "Let me know when you get home. Let's make sure our women stay in touch."

"Definitely, they were a good influence on each other. Take care, Regina. And thank you, for everything," Tom remarked with a sincere nod. He turned to face his wife, laughed at the jigsaw, and smiled when she stood from her chair and sat in the passenger seat unassisted.

* * *

Regina assumed Emma would be crying when she reentered the near empty duplex. Her cries were so pronounced, she could hear them before she could see her. She wasn't in the lounge but had retreated to her room. Regina found Emma bent over her bed, crying heavily into folded arms resting on the mattress. Baxter was distressed as he couldn't get good access to his master to comfort her, so he had jumped on the bed and rested his head on hers. Regina approached and as she lightly touched her wife's back, Emma flinched and pulled away. Regina didn't need words or magic to feel Emma's pain, the air was thick with it. She did what Emma needed her to, just sit with her, without physical contact or a continuous mantra of comforting words. She just had to let her wife grieve in her own way.

It surprised Regina when a few minutes later it seemed like Emma's tears completely subsided; the unrelenting crying having suddenly ceased. The blonde began to shift in her chair and clumsily dragged herself onto the bed, startling the two other occupants. She squirmed around until she was finally on her left side, her back turned to her wife. Emma finally got what she needed; a full-body hug from Baxter. This was normally still a phase where Emma would be alone, so it brought Regina great satisfaction that he could be there for her at a time when Emma wouldn't let her. Regina grabbed a chair and sat across from Emma, who seemed to calm almost instantly in this new position.

"I'm sorry," Emma eventually said.

"I'm not sure what you're apologizing for, darling." Regina took words as an invitation to stroke Emma's hand that was hanging off Baxter's back.

"That I'd hug him but not you," Emma clarified.

"Oh, I know you better than that. It's not like you were choosing. He's just an intermediate, and he's actually an upgrade from a pillow, which was your go-to in Storybrooke. Besides, that's partly why he's here, to help you when I can't." Regina's smile grew wide, her eyes warm.

"I don't really have any friends that I'm not related to, even Lilly and I barely talk. I'm scared I'm going to forget her and even if I don't, I know the best part of our friend-ship is over," Emma muttered.

"You don't know that. It's easier than ever to keep in touch."

"Ever noticed that every time there is a new way to communicate, people actually communicate less? The same will happen with us that happens with every friend-ship. You both try initially, then one tries more as the other moves on. Eventually, birth-day calls turn into a text that becomes noth-ing more than two emoji of a smiley face next to a piece of cake."

"Emma-"

"I'm serious, and that's before we complicate it with my memory and the fact we live in a town no one can visit. I know you're here for me and you're more than enough, really. It's just-"

"She understood what it is like." Emma nodded in a manner that indicated she was ashamed.

"I'm so sorry," Emma repeated, hugging Baxter tighter.

"It's okay Emma. You're talking to me. Back home you would've cried yourself to sleep."

"I love him," Emma said, changing the subject.

"Good. As do I. We will call Lauren tomorrow okay? I'm sure she will have lots to tell you about being back home. I'm sure she will need you to vent to." Regina lowered her head so their foreheads met, Baxter firmly wedged between them.

"I also love you by the way," Emma added as an afterthought.

"Good to know, darling," Regina scoffed.

* * *

"Alright Emma, we will just do the same as yesterday, I'll help you up and you'll put all your weight on your right leg, then we will get your left foot flat on the ground and we will slowly transfer the weight onto it. Use the bar in front of you," Jake, her physical therapist instructed.

"I got it," Emma remarked.

Baxter sat at the edge of the matted area, his head between his paws as he watched with great curiosity as two people helped Emma stand out of the chair. Emma didn't seem in distress, so he simply observed, his eyes flicking between the two unknowns.

Emma controlled her breathing as she planted her right foot in the ideal position. Her frame was in front of her which she gripped tightly with her right hand. She could reliably stand, one-legged, a feat accomplished weeks ago. For the last three days, they had tried adding in the left leg. It simply couldn't support her weight and gave out just before her full weight was applied.

Today, however, was different. As she balanced her weight between her two legs, her left leg wobbled slightly, but it held. The Savior was standing. She took her hand off the bar and for seven seconds, she stood on her own, unassisted. Emma started breathing again as she reached back for the bar, but held her stance. Baxter hadn't felt this kind of happiness radiate from Emma. He was instantly up and started bouncing, his tail wagging excitedly.

Emma felt her left leg start to tire and shifted her weight back to the right before sitting down. Baxter barked and jumped onto her lap, licking her face to show his complete joy. As Emma felt relief wash over her, she looked up to see the tear-stained face of her wife directly in front of her.

"You're here? How are you here?" Emma asked completely confused.

"Do you think I would miss this for anything in the world?" Baxter was so excited he licked Regina too, producing a deep laugh from Emma. "Yes, well, thank you, Baxter," Regina replied to his unwelcome affection.

"I can't believe you're here. I stood Regina. I actually stood. I did it. It's all because of you. I love you so much," Emma could barely finish her words as she forcefully kissed her wife.

"I'm so proud of you, darling. But you did this, not me. And I'm so happy right now, and so is he, apparently," Regina added, commenting on the vigor with which she was constantly being whacked by a tail. "Which means you are."

"Yep, can't hide how I feel anymore." Emma waited for a beat before adding, "Can Baxter and I come home now?" Regina was being drilled with two pairs of begging puppy dog eyes.

"I think that can be arranged," Regina mused as she kissed her wife once more.

To Baxter, he was already home; sandwiched between two women who loved each other more than life itself, who were both in this moment as happy as two humans could ever be.


	17. It's Not the Four Walls

 

 

**August 12** **th**

Regina stood her new foyer; the steps from the door now removed and scrutinized everything Emma would see when she came in through the front door. She walked into the far more open-plan house that had developed over the past several months. She moved a vase of yellow lilies, straightened an already perfectly aligned bar stool as she checked her watch for the seventh time in two minutes.

"You don't need to be nervous. If it goes badly she won't remember it anyway," Henry playfully remarked as he placed an iPad on the counter. "Okay, all of Ma's are yellow. It should help her and Baxter I think." Henry started to shift the angle of the screen and then adjusted the adjacent speaker.

"Thought you said there was no reason to be nervous?" Regina teased back.

"For you. My whole plan may be an epic failure and what a phenomenal waste of time that would have been," Henry countered, suddenly terrified that months of effort and learning wouldn't actually end up helping his mother at all.

"It wasn't a waste of time. I think it's genius. If it doesn't help Emma, well I think it can help other people. I'm proud of you. With everything that has been going on here, you've really grown into a fine young man," Regina couldn't help but bear hug her son.

"Alright, enough of that. But seriously Mom, stop being nervous. Ma wants to come home and Baxter will help make the transition easier. And we've done things Lauren suggested after she got home. So relax. Ma isn't going to care that the flowers are blooming at 130 degrees instead of 160." Henry had returned to the iPad, testing the position of the app on the home screen. A knock at the door interrupted the near normal conversation the pair were about to be engaged in.

"You know what that will be?" Regina said excitedly, eyes wide.

"It came in time!" Henry called as he ran to the door. The courier stood and after Regina signed for the papers she handed them to Henry.

"Happy early birthday, Henry," Regina said lovingly as saw him eagerly open the contents and began to scan the documents in front of him.

"Thank you, Mom. Thank you so much. I know you were on board from the beginning, but I'm sure it was a little painful at times. But I'm grateful, I really am."

"No problem, my little Prince. No problem at all." Regina scanned the papers to make sure everything was in order. If there was one thing being Mayor had taught Regina, it was how to read an American legal document.

"Stop hovering, and go get Ma."

"You're not coming?" Regina was confused, only yesterday they talked about going together.

"I think this is a wife-wife thing."

"I disagree, I think this is a family thing. Now go get your shoes. It's time to bring your mother home."

As Henry effectively ran to his room, Regina stood in their kitchen and thought about the house. How empty it had been. She and Henry had tried to pretend they were happy, that it was just like before; that they could be enough with just the two of them. That argument always lost out to the obvious missing element, Emma. She made everything complete, and without her real happiness could never be obtained. When Emma returned, their house would once again be a home.

* * *

Emma stared at the 'Welcome to Storybrooke' sign as the car sat stationary before the town line. Baxter, buckled into his seat with a harness, sat next to Henry, enjoying the human touch he was offering. Regina hadn't even needed to ask if she should stop before crossing. She could feel the tension rising in Emma the entire morning. It wasn't just feeling magic again that was causing trepidation in the blonde, it was returning to a place where Emma was supposed to be strong; a leader. No words needed to be spoken for everyone to understand that.

"We're right here. We will roll across and stop. I'll need to adjust too. I haven't felt your magic in months either," Regina said warmly, showing Emma she wasn't the only one about to experience a jolt to the system.

"Okay." Emma unsuccessfully hid her lack of calmness.

"You took your meds, it should stop a migraine," Henry offered.

"Just dr-ive. Let's get it over with." Emma assured.

Even if Regina hadn't planned on stopping, when she felt Emma's magic, so bright and powerful next to her, she lost her focus and ability to control the vehicle. Henry watched as his mothers sharply inhaled and tried to calm their breathing. It was as though both had been punched in the stomach. Baxter sensed the change in both women immediately and he expressed his confusion with a head tilt and a whine. Henry tried to calm him as Regina reached out for Emma to calm her. Regina recovered the quickest, Emma's magic intertwining with her soul so perfectly; it was like a weight had been lifted that had been crushing her chest, a shot of adrenaline combined with intoxicating happiness. Regina felt like her lungs could finally take an entire breath. She scrutinized Emma, whose breathing had also begun to relax. Emma didn't look like normality had been resumed, she looked as though she was being tortured.

"Emma, what's wrong?" It seemed the obvious question in response to Emma's expression.

"It's different. It's dark. I feel pain, suffer-ing and the urge to hurt people." She turned to face Regina, her eyes already watering. "And you, you feel different. Darkness. I feel dark-ness from you. What have you done?"

"Mom hasn't done anything. It's the town Ma. It's all around us. You'll be okay," Henry tried to sooth as he rubbed Emma's upper arm. Baxter showed his own anxiety that he couldn't get to Emma as she clearly struggled to process everything she was instantly feeling.

"It's so… powerful? The pull. It's like I have a force inside of me that wants to do evil. You manag-ed to resist this?" Emma bluntly asked, never breaking eye contact.

"Yes. Seeing you every day helped me. You and Henry. You both remind me why I want to resist it. Now that I can feel you… it's like I was drowning and now I can breathe-" Regina's eyes grew as wide as possible when she realized of all the analogies she could have used, she chose the most insensitive. "Emma, I'm sorry, bad-"

Regina never got the chance to complete her apology. Emma had raised her hand to Regina's lips, silencing them. The power of their magical connection was fully felt when they finally touched, encapsulating both in a blanket of love, comfort, and contentment. For both, it felt like coming home. They leaned into one another and shared a more passionate, hungry kiss that they had experienced in months. Henry didn't even flinch let alone use his go-to 'fake throat clearing' reaction. He just leaned into Baxter and averted his eyes.

* * *

After taking the backroads through town, to ensure Emma's privacy as she returned home, they finally arrived at their driveway. The Savior's eyes never left the pristine bug as Henry unhooked Baxter and Regina organized her wife's chair. Once Emma gained her own form of mobility, she maneuvered herself so she could touch the yellow paintwork. Baxter followed, rubbing his scent on the vehicle. Emma peered inside, instantly noticing the difference in the gear stick.

"I had it altered to an automatic. Only need one hand for that," Regina said as she trepidatiously informed Emma of a decision she wasn't sure if she should regret.

"I don't think I know how to drive," Emma professed as she really tried to remember the steps.

"That's okay, darling. She's here for when you are ready to learn." Henry and Regina shared a terrified glance as they both could see Emma's trying to dull her emotions. Even with magic, Regina wasn't sure what Emma was feeling. When Baxter raised himself so his head was on Emma's lap, it was obvious that sadness had won the battle.

"Thank you, that was very thoughtful," Emma finally said. She gave the car a final tap before directing her chair towards the house.

"It'll be okay Mom," Henry assured at a volume that only Regina would hear.

Emma noticed things that Regina and Henry had become accustomed to that they no longer realized hadn't always been that way. Gone was to step up to the door, and those into the foyer. The door had been changed, the frame widened. The replacement had been identical in style, but Emma still noticed. As Emma and Baxter sat in the grand open space, they both admired and tried to acclimatize to a house they did not recognize.

"I know a lot is different," Regina said as she lowered herself to Emma, trying to interpret her expressions.

"So this is what you did all summer?" Emma observed, trying to not be overwhelmed with not only how everything had changed, but how much Regina had done for her.

"Oh, you know how Mom is, nothing is ever done by half," Henry said with a smirk. "Wanna see the new wing?"

"W-ing? Our house has w-ings now?" Emma nearly squeaked in surprise.

"I wanted to make your life easier, so yes, our bedroom is now down that corridor," Regina informed hesitantly.

"But don't they make things so I can go up a floor?" Emma asked, completely unaware that she was looking directly at the chair lift Regina had installed. Emma couldn't recognize it, despite the hours spent in therapy trying to make her mind learn.

"Space. There just wasn't space for what I wanted to do, now there is." Emma could tell Regina was lying as she gave her answer too quickly, her pitch higher than normal. Regina couldn't rely on Emma being able to magic herself between floors either. This seemed like the only solution available.

"Enough with the technicalities. Everyone gets a bigger room, now come on," Henry excitedly gestured that Emma should follow.

The short corridor that had previously been Regina's study now led towards the back of the home, out into the previously expansive grounds. Emma couldn't help but chuckle at the artwork on the walls, some of it was her's, some of it Henry's arts and crafts from his formative years. Everything was at her height.

The bedroom was basically bigger, but otherwise, the furnishings and layout were all the same; the normality of it made Emma genuinely smile. All she noted that was different was a bigger bed, the walking frame and a couple of grip bars on her side of the room, which was far more spacious than before. She was then shown the new walk-in closet which Emma instantly ascertained was a dream come true for Regina. The wood was fresh and its darkness was offset by lighting and full-length mirrors. The room was about the size that their entire bedroom used to be. Emma spotted that her belongings were along the bottom, while Regina's were on the top row. Their dresses hung next to an impressive shoe rack. Everything Emma would need was all one to two feet off the ground.

"Let's not pre-tend this isn't more for you than for me," Emma said with a chuckle as she tried out moving around the room. "I remember us talking about this, but wow, Regina, this is something else."

"I can't think of a good reason why we didn't have it before," Regina bent down so they were at eye level before softly adding, "Let's go see the bathroom; it's the room where it's most obvious that things have changed."

The bathroom was closest to Emma's side, partitioned with a sliding door, just like the bedroom's. The room was ridiculous in size. The shower reminded Emma of her rehab bathroom, but stylish. It was like a wet room, complete with bars, seats, and multiple shower heads.

"You've always wanted a shower like this too. I like the tile. On the wall." Emma felt it was not only appropriate but essential that she praised the efforts.

"You should, you picked it, darling." Regina found it disconcerting that she couldn't read Emma's emotions. Baxter seemed to be having the same problem. She was quiet, introverted, desperately hiding whatever she was processing.

Next to it was a bath, clearly just for Emma. It was a sitting bath, complete with a door. Against the other wall was a huge corner fitting tub, and Emma noted the jets.

"It's for when you get stronger until then we can enjoy it together."

"Guys, I'm standing right here," Henry proclaimed. "I don't need to be further mentally scared by your… antics." Sensing the mounting tension he then stepped in with a diversionary tactic. "Can we move to the surprise room now please?"

"Surprise room?" Emma indicated that her interest was piqued.

"Yes, a place that's just yours," Regina clarified as she kissed Emma's forehead.

Regina led Emma across the hall from the bedroom into a room bathed with light. Despite the sunlight flooding in, Emma noted it was cool; clearly a temperature controlled conservatory. Regina had read that sunlight helped with depression so she literally wanted to surround Emma with it. It looked out onto the garden, Regina's apple tree in full view, the flower beds in the foreground. There was an easel and an array of art supplies positioned to face outwards. Emma had taken to painting outdoors in recent weeks and Regina was determined to capitalize on anything that made Emma happier. The room was also fitted with a keyboard, television, couch, books, puzzles, dog bed and mini fridge. Regina had given Emma her very own version of a man-cave.

"We can fill it with whatever you like. I didn't put any exercise equipment in here because this is supposed to be a place of fun, but we can put that in here if you want." Regina began to worry she had done the wrong thing as she didn't see a smile appear across her wife's face. Emma liked privacy to improve her motor skills; that was all Regina was trying to offer.

"Look Ma! There's a door here and a flap for Baxter to get into the garden easily. It's also a short cut to the kitchen." Henry pointed out as though he was a real estate agent.

"The windows are one-way, so no one outside can see you. They are also retractable so you can feel like you're outside, just with a roof." Emma didn't speak but instead moved to her new shelves and picked up the familiar puzzle block and looked at the electronic calendar that told her the day and month. No one needed Baxter's actions to tell them that Emma was now unable to hold back her tears. Henry took the subtle head tilt from his mother to give the pair some privacy.

"Okay, darling. Be blunt and honest, what did I do wrong, how can I make this easier for you?" Regina prodded.

"You didn't do anyth-ing wrong. You put me first. You've done everyth-ing for me. If someth-ing happened to you, I couldn't have done this, I certainly can't do it now. I'll never be able to re-pay you. Ever," Emma expressed while trying to hold back her falling tears.

"You lived. You came home. I'm more grateful for that than I'd ever be able to express. This, this is just stuff, but getting to hold you at night, that irreplaceable." Regina countered, her argument unable to be refuted.

"Everything's changed. Everything." Emma's attempt to clarify her feelings was interrupted by a small release of magic from her fingertips, causing the blocks to fall onto the floor, creating enough sound to shock Emma out of her current downward spiral. The release of magic forced Baxter to bark before quieting and tilting his head curiously.

Regina stared at Emma, letting the blonde try to regain her composure. Her hand stopped shaking, but her face remained pale, her eyes glassy.

"Are you okay?" Regina asked tentatively. She already knew Emma was not, it was just the severity of it.

"I f-eel dizz-y and the dark-ness, it's so st-rong," Emma said, she seemed so fragile.

"How about you lie down for a while?" Emma gave a slight nod at Regina's suggestion.

Regina guided Emma back to their bedroom, knowing she was probably already lost, but Baxter had figured it out. Regina watched Emma try to heave herself from her chair to the bed, only to fail when a clear wave of dizziness overpowered her. The fact that Emma let her help without much resistance told Regina she felt worse than was implying. Baxter extracted Emma's drinking cup from the side of her wheelchair and handed it to his best friend as she relaxed into the heap of pillows. Both women showed their appreciation by rewarding him with ear scratches. Once finished, after placing the cup on the nightstand, Emma tried to settle to sleep, but something wasn't right, something was missing.

"What is it? What do you need? Pillows, blanket, painkillers?" Regina asked, already on her feet to get whatever the blonde desired. Emma looked at Baxter and immediately decided against it.

"Noth-ing, I'm fine."

"Emma. Tell me."

"I can't, you'll say yes to what-ever I ask, whether you want to or not."

"Well, that might be true, but I won't say yes to something that will make me unhappy, how's that?"

"I sleep with him," Emma admitted sheepishly, her eyes refusing to meet the brunette's.

"Baxter? No, you don't."

"Twin bed. Too small for three."

"Are you asking me to share our bed for the rest of my life with a dog?" Regina asked incredulously.

"No. I'll use a pillow. I'm sorry."

"Emma, this is a marriage, I'm not your mother. I'll make a deal with you. He sleeps on your side. And that doesn't mean you sleep on mine. We'll try it for a few days, if it's not working out, we'll try something else. Okay?"

"Okay." Regina waited for Emma to signal to Baxter that he had permission to join her, but Emma hesitated. He sat and awaited instruction, happy enough to sleep next to the bed even though it wasn't his number one choice.

"Emma, he's waiting. And you really need to sleep."

Emma shifted onto her side and finally patted the bed, Baxter leaped into position, placing his body under her left arm. Regina couldn't help but smile at how in-sync and perfect they seemed to be together.

"Th-ank you," Emma mumbled with her last sense of consciousness.

"You're welcome," Regina whispered to the sleeping pair. She leaned into Baxter before adding, "Just so you know, you're not always going to get to be the little spoon. I expect my fair share too."

* * *

Neither Baxter nor Emma snored, but the sound of heavy breathing from both told Regina they were in an equally deep sleep. Regina had waited as long as possible, but the hour was getting late and Emma needed to eat; she was reluctantly going to have to wake them. She left the door ajar to illuminate the room slightly and approached. She expected this to be hard on Emma. She hadn't woken in a new environment for a while. Her instincts were correct. Emma didn't know where she was, who Baxter was, what had even happened. Baxter was so unfazed by Emma's rejection, Regina concluded that she often did this to him. Recently, if Emma did need reminding, it only lasted a few minutes, but tonight it was going on ten and Emma's aggression and anger were prevalent. It wasn't until Regina wrapped her in a bear hug that things started to make sense.

When Regina had asked if Emma wanted her parents to join them for dinner, she had declined, stating she was still exhausted and really wanted a quiet night. As Emma took her place at the table she noted they each had a bowl and a blue colored object. She lifted it, felt its shape and texture and understood what it was for. Regina placed a large pot in the center and dished some of the contents into each bowl. Emma fiddled with the spoon in her hand, looked at the bowl and watched Henry eat a mouthful, while Regina added pepper to hers. Emma felt a paw on her leg; Baxter was trying to get Emma to focus.

"Read the card, darling," Regina politely suggested as she directed Emma's eye line. Regina was concerned, Emma seemed more lost than normal. She couldn't help but notice how tired Emma looked as she went through very deliberate, separate steps to eat her dinner. Her three-hour sleep had had little effect.

Regina had grown accustomed to eating in near silence, but it wasn't something that came naturally to Henry. He gave off a sense of tension, which, combined with the awkward silence, made Emma's homecoming meal entirely uncomfortable for everyone. It took Emma a few minutes to figure out what they were doing. Regina had made a stew; something she had never made before. It was an entire meal that didn't require two hands to eat. Henry was less than subtly only using his right hand, his left was tucked under the table. She felt Baxter's paw again, but she had no interest in eating.

"I'm not sure what you're try-ing to achieve here," Emma snapped, shocking everyone.

"What do you mean, darling?" Regina pressed softly.

"I mean this stuff that you'd never eat, Henry only us-ing one hand and you're both us-ing the blue th-ings," Emma berated.

"I asked Mom to do it. I want to understand what it's like so I can help," Henry added guiltily.

"Trying to be like me doesn't help me. S-top chang-ing every-th-ing!" Emma barked as she threw her spoon across the room.

Regina took a deep breath as she composed herself, quelling her own rage. Henry couldn't look at either of them.

"Emma," Regina started, calmly. "What would be the best move here? For me to coddle you and tell you it's all okay, or shout at you and tell you to stop having a tantrum and throwing your possessions across the room?"

"I don't know, I don't know, I d-on't kn-ow," Emma started to chant and she began to hit her hand off the table, causing her dinner to erupt from the bowl. As Regina reached for it to prevent injury, Emma started to smash it into the side of her head. Baxter reacted first and placed his paws on Emma's lap, licking her face, trying to get himself between Emma and her hand. By the time Regina had grasped her limb, ceasing its movement and Henry had moved to her side, Emma was completely lost in her own despair. Her cries reverberated around the room.

"Is it the darkness Mom? It is making things worse for Ma?" Henry didn't even try to disguise his concern.

"Well it's always worse at night, it's stronger tonight than normal. Is it amplifying what you're feeling, darling?" Regina decided that calming Emma was more important than anything in this moment. She felt Emma respond to each of their comforting efforts as she calmed as quickly as her anxiety had grown.

"I want to be nor-mal," Emma confessed before seeking comfort in the nook of Regina's neck. Her words broke her family's heart.

"Okay, Ma. What's the one thing you want more than anything else in the world? It has to be something realistic, though," Henry added with a large smile.

"Walk. I want to walk." It was the answer he knew his mother would give.

"Okay, then everything you do, every decision you make should be about achieving that goal. The first thing you need to do in order to do that is be strong. To be strong you need to eat," Henry wryly concluded. Emma didn't remember, but he had used this argument successfully previously.

"I don't know how," Emma noted after a moment of reflection.

"Sure you do, we'll help you," Henry announced brightly while Regina checked Emma's wrist for any injuries. "And after dinner, I have another surprise for you."

Although Baxter had helpfully retrieved the flung utensil, Henry had given Emma a fresh one while Regina cleaned up. It was almost like take two on having dinner, Emma's transient increase in anxiety almost forgotten. Henry had described these emotional outbursts as though Emma was a pressure cooker, who needed to open a valve once a while to maintain an equilibrium. They concerned Regina far more, she knew they were her glimpse into the suffering her wife was enduring. All she ever wanted to do was take it all away.

They settled into a far more comfortable silence that was only broken as Emma scrutinized the meal.

"Can you please use normal, um, you know, these," Emma said as she held her spoon up. "I get it, it's sweet, but it makes me feel like I'm de-bilitat-ing you too. You already have to be quiet for me, it's kinda weird. I'll eat on my own in fu-ture."

"You will do no such thing. We will each read during meals, then have after dinner conversation," Regina uttered sternly.

"Yep, now eat, Mom's bowl of goo is getting cold, can't imagine how bad it will taste then." Henry was enjoying the ability to mock his mom without the fear of repercussions.

"Yes, well. I'm more of a grilled chicken and salad chef, not 'let's throw all the ingredients in a pot and see what happens' approach," Regina countered. She did, however, agree. This meal was less than adequate.

"If you're go-ing to make this again, can you add more potatoes next time? May-be some bacon. Generally, change the entire recipe?" Emma teased, showing her smile.

* * *

"Alright Ma, this is a bit complicated to start with, but over time I hope you'll get the hang of it and it will help you, with your memory mostly. That's what it is for," Henry said handing his mother an iPad.

"I know what an iPad is Kid," Emma scoffed.

"Oh, I know. Now there is no password and there are three of these around, all with yellow covers. They're all yours and synced over the cloud so they'll all be the same." Henry spoke slowly, hoping it would help his Ma retain more.

"And this here, it's a voice activated speaker, there's one in every room. All you have to remember is to say her name before you ask a question. Which is Alexa. Like this. Alexa, what is the time?"

"The time is 9:21 PM," the speaker announced.

"So anytime you are confused the speaker will help you, along with the app I programmed for you, well not just me, I had a lot of help from people around the world. Let me demonstrate. Alexa, I'm hungry."

"Okay Emma, open your iPad," Alexa instructed.

"Because you asked that question the app will automatically be open, even without being powered on, just like a phone call. You'll see that it now has the written directions open on how to eat. It will even ring so you know where it is if you ask Alexa 'where is my iPad'. But because you have three they'll all ring, so I'm still working on refining that idea."

"Wow, Kid, I don't know you knew anyth-ing about this stuff," Emma expressed.

"I didn't. I just read a lot. Anyway, you can ask other stuff like where's Regina? And Alexa will tell you. I mean the speaker does boring stuff like control the lights, house temperature, play music and tell you things like the weather, but whatever," Henry casually noted as he played with the app to show his mother the next feature.

"Music?" Emma latched onto that single function.

"Alexa, Play Wild World," Henry said as a demonstration.

"Wild world by Cat Stevens," Alexa announced before breaking into the tune.

"Alexa stop," Henry commanded.

"So it's like a hands-free Siri?" Emma concluded.

"Basically. This way you don't need to remember where you placed something and push the button to make it work, because 'Hey Siri' is pretty ineffective at times. I came up with the idea while you couldn't hold stuff. Also, Alexa is open-source, so it's easier to customize the code." Henry turned their attention back to the iPad. "Anyway, the App. This section is where you can read important information, like this heading 'What's going on in SB' you can tap on it and there are bullet points so you can know everything you need to."

"What's Oper-ation Mama Bear?" Emma asked reviewing the list.

"Ah, Henry's more archaic project," Regina answered as she sat on the arm of the couch and began to rub Emma's shoulders.

"Ha ha. It's a few things, but mostly it's a tracker of your progress. To help you gain perspective. Now this part can only be accessed using your fingerprint, it's sort of like a diary section. It's where you can make notes about your day that you want to remember. But we won't be able to read it, ever. It's not only to help you remember but also for you to take to therapy, with Archie, so you can talk about things."

"You did all this for me?" Emma asked disbelievingly.

"Of course Ma. Now it's not perfect, we're still working on it and we'll add to it as we figure out what you need help with. If you ever are home alone and confused and need something, there is a call Regina or call Henry option, kinda like the failsafe."

"Go on, give it a try." Regina encouraged.

"Alexa, I'm tired," Emma declared.

"Okay, Emma. Go to bed," Alexa ordered.

* * *

Emma watched as Regina applied moisturizer to her hands before joining her wife in their new bed for the first time. Emma was reading her iPad, encouraging her mind to recall the details Henry had just imparted. She had been so grateful that it was impossible to really express it.

"I don't know how he did it," Regina casually commented as she snuggled closer to Emma.

"He's remarkable," Emma concluded as she placed the device on the nightstand. Her heavy sigh and distant stare alerted Regina that something was suddenly bothering her wife.

"Talk to me." Regina remained patient, allowing Emma all the time she needed to finally talk.

"This house, everyth-ing you and Henry have done, it perfect. It's like a wheelchair fairy tale. You must have s-pent so much money to do all of this, it's like insanity. I don't even want to think about how ridi-culously rich you must be. And I know I should be grateful, I should be overflow-ing with gratitude and praise. And on top of that, I was read-ing about what the town is facing and I can't use my magic, I can't even help you. I thought this morn-ing that com-ing home would magically make everyth-ing better, but it's not. It's just, it's not better. I don't feel better, I don't feel complete. And now I just feel guilty. And ashamed."

"How about we just take everything in baby steps? All you need to focus on right now is sleeping next to me, and Baxter, apparently. The rest? We will deal with each thing in time. We didn't do any of this because we thought it would be a 'magical cure', just maybe each alteration might make it all more manageable," Regina added using her proven technique of playing with Emma's hair to lull the blonde to the brink of sleep. Emma shifted further away from Baxter and into her wife's torso. Regina studied Emma's relaxed face and for the first time in months fell asleep in Storybrooke with a smile on her face.

* * *

**August 13** **th**

"Do you want to talk about it?" Regina wondered, trying to interpret Emma's micro-expressions.

"I don't know what there is to say," Emma said trying to hide her face as she, Regina, and Baxter made their way from the newly renovated physical therapy suite in the hospital to the car.

"Well, did you and Jane get on? Did she seem competent? Has she had enough training?" Regina offered, trying to get her blonde involved.

"Yeah, I suppose. She seemed to know when to push me and when to not. She seemed to listen to me," Emma concluded after a brief pondering moment.

"Excellent." It wasn't the in-depth analysis Regina was hoping for, but it was good enough. As she then helped her wife into the car in their now synchronized method, Emma was relieved that it appeared no one from the town had seen them.

"Ready to go?" Regina asked as she settled into the driver's seat of her new Mercedes.

"Go where?" Emma wondered, completely unaware of any future plans.

"Granny's. We're meeting your parents for lunch."

"Can we just go home? I don't want-"

"Everyone in town to see you?" Regina interjected.

"Yes."

"Wouldn't it be better to just go, for an hour, get it over with in one go? That was your logic yesterday when it was arranged," Regina encouraged.

"Oh."

"If it becomes too much, I will take you home, I promise." Emma couldn't form words but nodded and stared out the window. It was time for the town to see how broken their supposed Savior was, how she wasn't going to be the one to save the day.

Regina had of course called ahead, ensuring the booth in the corner behind the door was free so they could have an element of privacy. The Charmings, Neal, and Henry were already there when they arrived, but no preparation could stop the other customers silently staring as the couple entered. As expected, Emma was engulfed in a family bear hug by her parents before she even got close to the table. It was, however, welcome. Granny interrupted the predictable pleasantries the family was exchanging.

"So grilled cheese or straight to the bear claw for you today dear?" Granny asked, brightly. She had perfected acting like nothing was different.

"Grilled ch-eese, p-lease," Emma asked, successfully hiding her apprehension.

"Hot cocoa?" Granny countered.

"P-lease," Emma asked, her smile warming. She could do this. Regina ordered and Granny went to prepare their food, indicating that the others were already taken care of.

"So what do you think of the house?" Snow asked eagerly.

"Is it functional enough?" David interjected. "We measured everything so many times, it should be. How about the bathroom; is everything where it needs to be?" It was clear he was just ensuring their efforts have made for a smooth transition, but Emma found their enthusiasm overwhelming already.

"You guys helped?" Emma wondered, attempting to keep her emotions level.

"Yes, it was quite the experience," Regina soothed, rubbing Emma's hand to show her support to the onslaught of cheerfulness she was being subjected to.

"Yeah I borrowed a wheelchair from the hospital and a sling and figured out what was and was not possible," Henry added.

"Your mother here tried to get in and out of the bath using only her right side," David chuckled.

"It was rather amusing, she looked like a demented mermaid writhing around in the tub," Regina offered trying to keep Emma focused and not deteriorate into evaluating her self-worth.

"Well anyway, I hope everything is wide enough. If you need extra bars, or some repositioned, I've become rather handy, so please ask," David concluded.

"I can't believe you guys did all th-at for me…" Emma's voice was weakening, her voice starting to tremble slightly.

"You're our daughter, Emma. Of course, we were going to help however we can," Snow said seriously.

"It's not just us, but the town too," Henry informed his mother.

"There sure are lot more ramps in town from what I've seen this morn-ing, like the entrance here." Emma's uncomfortableness was becoming apparent and it was with good timing that Granny appeared with three hot cocoas. It surprised Emma, only for a second that hers was already in her familiar drinking cup. Regina had obviously planned ahead. Regina lifted the iPad that was tucked into Emma's chair and sat in front of her.

"Yes, the whole town gave time on Saturday mornings to make adjustments to all the public buildings," Snow said with enough restraint so as to not spook her daughter.

"It was an oversight when I created the town," Regina added sadly.

"Ah, that tastes good," Emma remarked as she slowly drank the familiar taste. She also garnered her desired effect of changing the subject as she was becoming increasingly uncomfortable at learning about all the effort that had gone into her homecoming.

The conversation degenerated in banal exchanges of Sheriff duties, new term class prep, only occasionally interrupted by a gurgle from Neal. Baxter sat at Emma's feet, analyzing the blonde's concentration as she ate her lunch. Only twice did he have to place his paw on her thigh while she devoured the melted goodness. Emma's insecurities were only in her mind; the townsfolk seemed unfazed by her physical limitations. They were just glad to have Emma home, whether she was still the Savior or not.

* * *

As the afternoon wore on, Emma was content in her conservatory; painting Regina's beloved apple tree while humming along to music that blared out of the speaker. Baxter had long since fallen asleep after they had played in the garden after lunch.

"Emma, darling, we have to go out," Regina announced as she entered the room.

"Oh, why?"

"Belle has news; she's called an emergency meeting," Regina informed her, pausing to admire the blonde's work. As Emma's motor skills improved, the paintings did equally. Regina wondered when the plateau would be reached; when she would see the zenith of the blonde's talent. It was clear that point had not yet been reached.

"Can't I stay here?"

"Well Henry went out to Emily's, you'd be here alone," Regina said showing her uneasiness.

"I won't be alone; I have him," Emma said before realizing Baxter was asleep. "Who I will wake," Emma added. Seeing Regina's hesitation Emma added, "I don't want to go and listen to all the th-ings I can't do to help. I'm happy here."

"I just have a bad feeling Emma."

"I'm not five. I can be home alone, with Baxter, for an hour. I'll honestly barely notice you're gone," Emma added with a telling grin.

"Okay fine. You have your phone? You remember how to use the speaker thing?"

"Yes, Henry showed me this morn-ing. Baxter?" His heavy eyes opened and as soon as he saw Emma looking at him he was alert and up instantly. "See, now scram, I'm busy," Emma said with quiet laughter. Regina could see she was enjoying her independence and kissed the blonde before surrounding herself in purple smoke. Emma returned to her painting, forgetting that Regina had even left, or really having any sense of where she was. It wasn't a room she recognized yet, let alone associate it with being her home.

It started with the painting looking a little out of focus and as she squinted her eyes to see her work properly, she felt the nausea begin to overwhelm her. Baxter appeared at her side, paws on her lap, looking straight into her eyes. Before Emma could even really process what was happening she heaved her lunch onto the floor beside her. She heard her phone start to ring and in her uncoordinated attempts to answer it, dropped it onto the ground. Baxter retrieved it instantly, but Emma could no longer see well enough to grab it. Emma just wanted to lie down, here on the floor would do. With the grace and poise of a baby giraffe, Emma landed on the ground, begging the world to stop spinning. It was only now that she noticed the intense pain that began to reverberate around her brain. Baxter began licking Emma's face, he was terrified; Emma was now barely responsive. The phone rang again and after no one answered it, Regina returned to the spot she had left from only ten minutes previously.

"Emma," Regina said softly as she fell to the floor and lightly shook her wife's shoulder. In reply all Emma could do was mumble syllables that told Regina she wasn't only unable to speak but was being consumed by pain. Regina hesitated as to what to do. She knew from the vomit and the contortion of Emma's features that it was a migraine, one that clearly hadn't been controlled. Baxter began to bark to get Regina's attention making the brunette realize that Emma was now completely unresponsive. Regina concluded she had no option but to take Emma to the hospital and as she transported both Emma and Baxter to the ER, she was vividly reminded of the last time she'd had to do this.

* * *

"Regina?" Whale said in surprise as they materialized on the floor once again. He was assessing a nasty ear infection in the town's star swimmer and both couldn't help but be shocked. Baxter, who had yet to be teleported, shook off the sensation easily as he refocused on Emma.

"Migraine, I think. I can't wake her up. Please help her?" Regina lack of panic and total control of words broke Whale's heart.

Whale lifted Emma from Regina's arms and placed her on her right side on the bed. He turned off the lights and barely spoke unless it was necessary. He knew light and sound would only bring the blonde more pain. Knowing that Regina's assessment was most likely correct, he still had to rule out any other neurological cause and that really could only be quickly assessed by flashing his bright penlight in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Emma," Whale whispered as he opened each eye in turn. To everyone's relief, Emma moaned incomprehensively but relaxed once more. Baxter had already positioned himself so he could nuzzle into Emma's back, while Regina just held her arm tightly, frightened that doing anything further would cause her wife more suffering. She let the tears fall as she watched Whale examine Emma, her attention only broken when Baxter placed a comforting paw on her arm. She smiled at his loving eyes, assuring her that Emma would be okay.

"A migraine fits, she's not showing any signs of anything more sinister. I've called Smith, though, he'll make sure. She probably passed out from the pain. We'll start an IV, give her some meds and move her to a private room that we can keep dark and quiet. If everything checks out, you can probably take her home tonight," Whale concluded.

"You have to fix this. You have to come up with a better way to manage these. I can't let her live like this. If you can't, we will both leave Storybrooke and take our magic with us," Regina threatened. Whale could do nothing more than nod.

* * *

Emma had been in and out of consciousness for most of the afternoon and the last time she was awake she had demanded that Regina lay in bed with her. Emma shifted so she could breathe in Regina's scent to help lull her to sleep, while Baxter slept soundly at the blonde's feet. It was in this position that the Charmings found their daughter as she woke once more.

"Hi," Emma greeted them with heavily glassed eyes.

"You most certainly are," Snow smirked.

"I love you," Emma said with a sleepy smile.

"Someone is feeling better I think," David said as settled himself on the other side of Baxter and couldn't resist affectionately petting the newest member of the family.

"I have Regina," Emma responded as if it were an obvious deduction.

"Yes you do darling," Regina confirmed as she held the blonde just a little tighter. The Charmings just smiled and nodded.

"No, Mom, Dad, you don't get it; I'm happy because I have her."

"Sweetheart, we know," Snow lulled as she held Emma's hand. "She's your True Love, it's something we all understand."

"No, it's not just that. My whole life I thought that if I knew about my past everyth-ing would be okay. I could understand why I was abandoned by the side of the road, why I never seemed to be good enough for any-one, like Neal or Henry. Even for you guys, I wasn't enough and you had to have Neal to fill your hearts-"

"Emma, you are enough for us, more than enough," Snow said incredulously.

"Let, her finish Snow," David said, seeing that Emma's drug-induced state was allowing her to be more honest than she would be otherwise.

"Just, all of our pasts have been full of so much pain. Parents have been killed, sacrificed. Children forgotten, so many murders. I don't like to believe in fate, that we don't get to make choices to decide who we are, but rather the path you take to get to your destiny is yours to ch-oose. Regina being my wife, it feels like this is how it was supp-osed to be. Everyth-ing that had happened had to so I could be with her so that my heart could finally have a home. That's what it feels like when it's entwined with hers. All the pain everyone has suffered, it's noth-ing compared to the happiness I get in return. I'm sorry if that hurts you, or it seems selfish or someth-ing." Emma suddenly silenced, realizing she was rambling.

"Emma, all a parent wants in life is for their children to be happy. You must feel like the happiest person in the world at times for what you said to be true. Your father and I couldn't ask for more than for you to feel this way," Snow reasoned before hugging her daughter the best she could.

As Emma relaxed to the sound of Regina's beating heart, she knew it was not only the soundtrack to her life, it was also the only place that would ever feel like home.

* * *

 


	18. Fundamental Desires

**August 14** **th**

"Are you sure you're okay, darling? You're feeling alright?" Regina asked unconvinced by Emma's previous affirmations.

"Yes, I feel fine. I p-romise," Emma dismissed Regina's concerns easily with a gentle wave of her hand. She was trying to focus on updating her account of her day in her iPad. She had been comfortable, sat up in bed in a quiet room until Regina had climbed in next to her a few minutes previously.

"Will you think about wearing the cuff again?" Regina prodded but realizing with Emma's returned glare that it was not the right thing to say. "Okay. Just write it in there as an option. There's no need for you to feel pain and the suffering from the darkness," Regina countered.

"Right but you do?" Emma threw back incredulously.

"I don't get migraines that require hospitalization." Regina retorted dryly.

"Regina!" Emma exclaimed with a characteristic eye roll indicating she wanted to move on from the repetitive conversation they had endured all day.

"Are you almost done updating your day? I unselfishly want to hold you as I sleep." Regina decided the best tactic would just be to move on. She'd just try again tomorrow. Emma did seem to improve as the day progressed.

"That's because you spent the even-ing by the Well."

"Can't it just be that I love you?" Regina tried to convey innocently, but her deep voice betrayed her intentions.

"Oh it can, but it's not," Emma mocked as she returned to her methodical typing, her concentration leading to her brow furrowing. To ease her own boredom, Regina began to moisturize her own hands before lifting Emma's left and mindlessly working her placid muscles.

'You k-now that I can't f-eel that right?" Emma asked with a look of disbelief.

"Of course I do, but I want to touch you and not distract you. It's a win-win."

"Ah, a silver lin-ing to every sit-uation," Emma threw back.

"Indeed dear. Now get on with it," Regina volleyed as she began therapeutically twisting the blonde's wrist.

"Is this what it will be for us? Every day will be like this?" At Regina's confusion, Emma sought to clarify. "I basic-ally do noth-ing all day, while you go fight the-" Emma had to check the name.

"Magical Well of Evil." Regina supplied, helpfully.

"Really? That's what you're call-ing it?"

"You named it darling."

"Yes, let-ing a brain-injured blonde name the greatest danger to our society shows amaz-ing judgment," Emma said expressing her astonishment.

"We thought it was pithy," Regina said absentmindedly. She had had this conversation many times. It was nice that they could talk about it now and Emma remained calm, accepting of her lack of a role. Now that she was here in Storybrooke and Emma could sense how bad it was for herself and see her wife wasn't succumbing to the temptation, it was all easier for her. Once Emma had recovered to Regina's satisfaction, she had promised to take Emma to the Well to feel and see the darkness for herself.

"Still. But yes, you go to the Well, do your woohoo magical th-ing, then we just do noth-ing? I used to be Sheriff, you the Mayor. This doesn't seem enough."

"Being with you is enough for me."

"Enough with the Disney fairy tale lines. Seriously, are you go-ing to be Mayor again? It says here that you took a temporary leave." Emma consulted the bullet points before her to be sure she had her facts straight.

"I did. Belle, just like everyone would, took some time to adjust and find her feet, but now that she has, the town is doing fine." Regina let her wife's arm go and indicated she wanted the right one, which Emma selfishly was grateful for. Her wife was an expert at massages.

"Wait, so that's it? No fight? Where's the wo-man I married?" Emma pointed out after she overcame her relaxing distraction.

"I suppose we could have an actual election, that isn't rigged and let the people decide. How do you do that here? Proper elections?"

"In America? Bad example, we want to unite the town, not divide it. But basic-ally you want to tell people what type of Mayor you will be, the th-ings you want to accomp-lish and then they compare you to the other people who want to be Mayor and then they decide who they want."

"So I have to win people over?" Regina asked apprehensively.

"Essenti-ally. But you can just say look what I've done for the last thirty years. People will see your record and know what you're about."

"I guess we can assume I won't be Mayor then. So, Miss Swan, how shall we fill our days?" Regina mischievously considered as she returned the bottle to their nightstand before returning and settling under the covers.

"Who are you and what have you done with Regina Mills?" Emma asked, wide-eyed.

"The people don't love me, Emma. They tolerate me because of you and Henry. They find me useful because of my magic. But people don't like or respect me."

"Regina-"

"Please just keep writing, I want to hold you." The brunette had already turned her body into Emma's and had grabbed her left arm as a form of protection.

"Can't we do both?" Emma wondered as she really absorbed how tired Regina appeared from the dim light her iPad emanated.

"I'll peek. I won't be able to stop myself." Regina replied sleepily.

"It's okay. Before I started read-ing about the Well I was just writ-ing about Baxter," whose head popped up at the mention of his name. "We have to work on our train-ing to-morrow, that's all. It's noth-ing scary and secretive. Besides, yesterday's entry implies I tell you everyth-ing anyway. When exactly did that happen?"

"It was gradual. I think going to therapy so regularly implanted the desire to express yourself. It's really interesting. You use different analogies to say the same thing." Regina's eyes were now closed and Emma saw that she was stroking her forgotten limb.

"Oh. It must be so bor-ing to be around me." Emma concluded thinking how she, herself, found the repetition of the same tale tiresome.

"Not at all darling, not at all," Regina said through a stifled yawn. The brunette noticed that Emma had begun to just stare into space, only moving to breathe. When she got like this the stillness worried Regina.

"Where did you go my princess?" Regina said softly as she refocused and raised herself so she could lightly graze Emma's cheek to bring her mind back to the present. "Emma?" Regina had to repeat several times.

The blonde didn't speak but shook off the contact her wife offered in comfort. "I'm done. Sorry," Emma declared as she loudly flipped the iPad off and carelessly dropped it onto the floor as she missed the table. "Sh-it." Emma berated herself. Baxter had already rectified the problem before Regina could swoop in.

"Decreasing coordination means sleep," She muttered into the blonde's ear.

"You win, Your Maj-esty," Emma mocked before calling Baxter onto the bed and hugging him in their natural sleeping position, completely forgetting her wife's recent, repetitive requests for contact. Regina's only available response was to laugh to herself.

"Emma?" Regina asked as she settled into her wife's back.

"Hmm," was all Emma could muster. She had always fallen asleep quickly, but since her accident, it was so rapid you would assume she knocked herself out every night.

"I can't imagine how this situation would ever arise, but if you had to choose between me and Baxter, who would win?"

"Hmm," Emma contemplated. "It's too close to call."

* * *

It was Baxter who noticed first; Emma was still in a deep sleep. Regina had started to whimper before fully throwing her head from side to side. Sweat had already formed across her entire face and collected in the small of her back. Baxter removed himself from Emma's grasp, setting his front paws between the two women and began to nudge his head repeatedly into Regina's arm trying to wake the brunette. Emma didn't have nightmares often, but Baxter knew the signs and easily sensed the distress.

It was Baxter's movement combined with a louder moan near Emma's ear that woke the blonde, and her focus was instantly on Regina. Emma was so fixated on waking and relieving Regina from her torturous dream that she didn't even process her predicament nor why there was a dog she didn't recognize in her bed.

"Regina. Re-gina," Emma said softly, applying light pressure to her wife's shoulder trying to break the ever decreasing emotional state her subconscious was inflicting. "It's just a dream, wake up. P-lease wake up, Re-gina, p-lease." It was only in trying to grab her wife that Emma noticed there as something wrong with her arm, but she didn't get a chance to process this realization.

"Emma!" Regina screamed as she shocked both wife and dog as she shot her body forward, knocking everyone back. Emma didn't have time to react as Regina engulfed her in a hug so intense Emma couldn't breathe, let alone speak. Regina's tear stained face then scrutinized every inch of her wife as her hands performed a rough physical analysis.

"You're okay, you're okay, you're okay," Regina repeated, her breathing still labored, her anxiety maintaining its peak.

"Of course, I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about. It was just a dream. Or night-mare maybe. You're okay, I'm okay." Emma's brain hadn't fully caught up with the situation, she didn't actually understand what was happening at all. She tried to focus on Regina, her clearly fragile wife. She knew how to soothe her post nightmare anxiety. It was simple really, just reassure her and then hold her. However, Emma couldn't recall Regina ever being this upset. Her nightmares were normally about her mother or sacrificing her father.

"It's okay Regina, your mother isn't here. I p-romise it's all okay," Emma tried to reassure, even though she didn't understand what was happening herself. She would calm Regina, then she could explain things.

"I couldn't save you. I didn't get home in time. They tried, they tried Emma, but you died. You died and it was my fault." Regina confessed, still searching Emma's eyes to make sure the form before her really was her Swan.

"You're being ridiculous. See, I'm right here. It was just a dream," Emma pointed out defiantly as she held her wife tight. This was new. They didn't have nightmares about losing each other, that was for the conscious world. As Emma tried to understand her still frightened, fervent wife, she became aware of her recent past, her own body language relaxing, defeated.

"I love you so much, darling. I'm so sorry." Regina implored as she saw the familiar look on her wife's face. The recognition, the quiet acceptance.

"Is this what it's like for you? Every night? You dream about that day, see me…" Emma expressed, disbelieving the daily torment she brought her wife.

"Dead," Regina confessed. "It haunts me, Emma. I see every outcome, from me being here when you slipped to not finding you for hours. And then I wake up and you weren't here… but you're here, you're here now." Regina was convincing herself more than Emma through the tears, who sat startled at the vulnerability and honesty Regina was allowing her to see.

"I drown-ed a while ago Regina. This shouldn't still be happen-ing. Have you talked to someone about this? With Archie maybe?" Emma tried to reason, her wife couldn't live like this.

"Extensively. But losing you is my worst nightmare. The magic from the Well, it's doing this. Anyone that gets close to it suffers like this. Gold can't handle it. He tries, because of Belle, but it's…"

"The Well?" Emma interjected, "Regina what are you talking about?"

"The Magical Well of Evil. It wants to weaken me so I won't be able to repel it, to keep the other realms from penetrating into our land. It's a land with magic Emma, the darkest creatures want to reside here." Regina had shifted from grief to anger faster than Emma would have thought possible.

"Regina, I-" Emma stuttered.

"Read your damn iPad Emma; try and remember something," Regina barked as she stood and heavily walked about of the room, almost knocking Henry to the floor as she passed. He had come down to investigate the familiar sounds of screaming and now found his birth mother completely lost in the middle of her bed, Baxter attempting to break her stare.

"It's just the darkness Ma. She doesn't mean it. Really in a few minutes, she will relatively normal." Henry tried to convince Emma, unsure which mother needed him the most.

"This happens every night?" Emma asked tentatively, wanting it confirmed from a different, unemotional source.

"Pretty much. It's usually pretty bad when she's used a lot of magic, I think it makes it harder for her to resist it. The Evil Queen tries, but Mom never lets her out," Henry quipped, desperate to make at least one of his mother's smile.

"So what helps now, now that she's awake?" Emma asked, forgetting she didn't really understand the cause, but her wife was in pain and Henry knew how to fix it.

"She'll be looking at the stars. Then she needs sleep. She really needs to sleep Ma. Normally it's a form of you that does it. A blanket that smells of you or we play videos so she can hear you. I'm not sure why the real thing isn't helping." Emma could tell Henry was really searching.

"Go get your mom, Kid. Please. Tell her to come back to bed," Emma asked with a slight smile that never touched her eyes.

"Okay. Remember, you need to sleep too. I love you Ma." Henry offered a parting hug leaving Emma alone, who grabbed her iPad to read all that she could while she waited. Her concertation only broken by the sweetest sound in the universe.

"I'm so sorry Emma," Regina professed, defeated.

"It's okay, I've been read-ing, I understand. Please just come back to bed, though. It says here that you feel better when you're near me, so I think be-ing wrapped in me should do it?" Emma used her sultry eyes to reel her wife in.

"So this, Well, it's the one Gold brought magic back from?" Emma asked after Regina sat next to her, knees up to her chest, clearly ashamed of her recent behavior.

"Yes."

"And dark creatures break through the seal you have around it if you don't give it enough magic?" Emma was trying desperately to retain this to her long term memory so tomorrow she would understand instantly.

"Yes." Regina wasn't being particularly forthcoming. She was tired and soon Emma would forget this conversation.

"And you have no idea what's caus-ing it?" It was only then that Regina realized Emma wasn't just reading a list, she had read it and remembered it. She was sat staring at Regina, offering a simple hand on her arm as comfort.

"None. Belle has been researching it for months. Your mother too. Everyone really. We first noticed the animals were killing each other. The deer, for example, were suddenly hunting meat. Back then the magic held it easily. Recently, though, it's been getting more intense. Taking more magic to hold it back." Regina knew she was telling Emma new information, this wasn't written down for her.

"So are other realms are like alter-native universes? I never under-stood this did I?" Emma offered in self-deprecating, but humorous light tone.

"No," Regina exhaled with a slight smile, her body language showing she had started to relax. Emma's ability to make Regina think like a Mayor, make it all business had worked effectively at releasing a lot of tension the nightmare had brought.

"But it's the same gravity, so it's earth, so different dimensions of the earth right?" Emma asked hopefully.

"Very good darling," Regina rewarded the blonde with a kiss. She really had embraced the magical world in ways that once had never seemed possible.

"So the other dimensions are try-ing to get into ours," Emma concluded to herself, the discussion now circular.

"The same happened in the Enchanted Forrest many centuries ago. We never learned why. Legend says it just got better, the weakened rift between dimensions healed. We are hoping it will be the same here."

"Well, you need to sleep to fight it tomorrow then," Emma determined, coaxing Regina to relax closer to her. "And I'm go-ing to help, so we're go-ing to have to work on me using my magic without my brain explod-ing."

Emma knew a trick Henry was obviously unaware of, Regina loved to fall asleep to the gentle tones of her singing voice. She moved Regina so she could stroke her hair while the brunette listened to the relaxing beats of her heart, ensuring her subconscious would know she was very much alive. Softer than a snowflake falls from the sky Emma began their song, the one they danced to once they had promised themselves to each other.

"Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can't help fall-ing in love with you," were the last words Regina heard before she finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **August 15** **th**

Emma had convinced Regina that she should get to help make the pancakes for their son's birthday breakfast. As it transpired Emma helping had brought more pleasure to pancake mixing than Regina had ever thought possible. The blonde had a child-like quality on this morning and though she had sought approval every step of the way she had made batter just as effectively as Regina. It had merely taken longer. Regina was always impressed at how Emma adapted to having only one hand. You would think mixing ingredients in a bowl would prove challenging, but by using an electric whisk and wedging the bowl between boards and additional towels for friction she got there. The only thing Regina had to do for her was cut the apples, simply because Emma didn't know what a knife was. Emma was so happy and excited she had pulled Regina onto her lap and caused the brunette to ignore the now burning pancakes.

"Really guys, you have to do that while making my breakfast?" Henry proclaimed, reaching for the already decanted orange juice.

"Kid! Happy birth-day!" Emma was so full of energy that Regina felt a little disgruntled at the force with which Emma tossed her off her lap and she moved her chair to engulf her son in the most severe version of a bear hug she could manage.

"Thanks, Ma," Henry responded, completely surprised himself.

"Happy birthday my prince," Regina remarked, using a more dignified embrace to convey her pleasure that they got to celebrate their son getting older once more.

"I'm a bit old for that now I think, but thank you," Henry replied. "Did she snort happy pills this morning or something?" Henry whispered into Regina's ear.

"I think your mother is just excited for pancakes," Regina said. When Baxter barked near his bowl, she added, "As is Baxter, apparently. So perhaps we should eat. And I'll call you whatever I want, you're always my son, no matter how old you are."

The family gathered and Henry couldn't have asked for a better breakfast. They each ate a pancake then they all chatted about the planned party before consuming another. It was organized eating, regimented even, but the smile that never left Emma's face had an infectious effect on the others. Even Baxter struggled to maintain his perfect posture and unflappable attention. As breakfast came to a close, Henry's eyes met his adoptive mother's. After she gave a slight nod, Henry gathered the permission he was seeking.

"Can I have my birthday present now?" Henry asked eagerly.

"Woah Kid. You know the rules, washed and dressed, then presents," Emma affirmed.

"I think today we can make an exception. He has been waiting a long time for this," Regina assured as she saw Henry produce his recently acquired legal papers. "Go on Henry," Regina said as she continued clear the table of her cutlery, plate, and glass.

"Wait, that's not his present. We just talked about this, I thought we were giv- ing him-"

"Emma, just let Henry talk," Regina kissed her wife's head, smiled at her son and gave the pair distance.

"Ma, this is what I want more than anything for my birthday. For you to sign this," Henry was serious, direct, a perfect example of a son Regina would raise.

Emma was confused as she started to read the document Henry laid out in front of her. Adoption papers. Henry wanted Emma to adopt him, for her parental rights to be legal, just like Regina's. She stared at the already signed documents, all that was left to finalize the deal was her own signature. She was too shocked to speak as saw only the enthusiasm of her son and the gentle encouraging smile of her wife.

"At least think about it?" Henry said, demoralized, as he read his mother's hesitation.

"Kid, I-" Emma stuttered for the first time in a manner that was unrelated to her brain injury. "I can't take care of you, Kid. I can't even take care of myself. I'm sorry. I can't I can't do this." Emma broke eye contact instantly and in the most undramatic fashion possible directed her chair backward and she followed Baxter as he led her to her room.

"So, that went as well as expected. Maybe we can get through breakfast tomorrow without one of you crying," Henry said dejectedly as he plopped the last pancake onto his plate.

"Give her time Henry, It's a lot to take in," Regina soothed, rubbing his shoulders before grabbing her wife's dishes.

"At least we made her eat first. Solid call Mom," His mischievous smile adorning his matured features. His mother smiled warmly in response. "You look a little more, well awake today? Less of that panda eyes look. Did you actually sleep?" Henry asked excitedly.

"Yes, she-. Well, Emma helped me get a few peaceful hours," Regina confessed.

"I told you. Now Ma is home, it's all going to get better. Everything will get better." Henry laughed as he watched Regina count the minutes that had passed since her wife had sought solitude. "Yep, that should be enough space. Off you go, I'm going to shower anyway. Thanks for the pancakes. Best birthday ever so far."

* * *

Emma sat staring at her family members enjoying her son's birthday party in the reflective solitude of her own conservatory. She had told both Henry and Regina that she would think about signing the papers, in return they said they wouldn't mention it. She had tried to get it out of her mind during the afternoon's events. Her parents had arrived, full of energy and presents. She had finally met Emily and her sister. As the excitement of people arriving began to dwindle, the tension in Emma only rose. She tried every tactic she knew to repress her thoughts from the forefront of her mind but nothing worked. She excused herself to the bathroom and simply never returned.

She had been gone a while, Emma knew that. She'd had time to take Henry's baby photo album from the shelf in the living room and flicked through the pages several times. It was sat open now, on a picture of his first birthday. A single blue candle flicked in front of his innocent features. The picture captured a moment when he was laughing. The boy in this photograph was not only happy but safe and that was because Regina was his mother.

"I didn't ask for this to upset you, Ma. I was trying to show you how much I love you," Henry said softly as he approached and crouched next to her.

"I'm sorry Henry, I'll try and snap out of it. Go out-side. I'll be there in a minute," Emma tried to dismiss him, just as she had attempted with her tears.

"Or we could talk about this," Henry suggested, though a choice wasn't something he was offering.

"It's your birth-day Kid, your party. Go enjoy it."

"Ma, stop deflecting. Are you this upset because you think if something happened to Mom that you couldn't take care of me? Because this is Storybrooke. I don't imagine many social workers will be looking for me."

"I don't have the right to sign those papers. It's not that I don't love you, Kid, I do, it's just, Regina is your mother Henry, not me."

"Why can't I have both of you?" Henry countered, increasingly fascinated by the change in his mother's desire to share her once guarded feelings.

"Because I've hurt you in funda-mental ways that she never has, or ever could."

"Ma, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm so sorry if I made you ever feel like you were never enough, that I didn't want you," Emma responded quietly, her mind clearly wandering far from the present conversation she was having.

"Ma. We've talked about this. I know you gave me up because you wanted to give me my best chance. It's time for you to get over it and forgive yourself. I forgave you a long time ago." Henry reached for his mother's hand that held the book tightly, only to have Emma flinch it back in response.

"I gave you someth-ing to forgive," Emma replied, unable to look directly at her son.

"I think it was just one of those things that had to happen, that you thought you were controlling but you weren't really. Fate brought me here." Henry had long ago concluded this. It brought him great comfort in believing everything was how it was supposed to be. Just like his mother, he felt it helped explain all the pain.

"You felt like no one loved you. It's why you came to find me. It's the worst feel-ing in the world Henry and I did that to you."

"Well if that's your argument then so did Mom. Should she un-adopt me?" Henry smiled seeing he was breaking his mother's argument. "Please, Ma, stop beating yourself up about the past. You did enough of that at the time."

"What?" Emma knew she had only told one person in Storybrooke about that time in her life, right after prison and it wasn't her son.

"Mom gave me the CliffsNotes. I don't know the details, just the pertinent information. You feeling bad doesn't make me feel better. I don't need to feel better. I just want both my Moms to have equal say over me. It's not about you being responsible for me if Mom dies or something, it's about us being complete. Our little family."

"I'm not good enough Henry, I never was and I'm cer-tainly not now. I'm so proud that I br-ought you into this world, but Regina-"

"Is parental unit number one and you're parental unit number two. Sometimes it really is that simple." Henry's cheeky smile always warmed Emma's heart and in this instance was proving no different.

"I don't need you to sign it Ma, I'm sorry I pushed you like this. But I want you to finally forgive yourself. I'm okay. Look out there, look at the family and friends I have. You wanted to give me my best chance and you did. I didn't get bounced around foster care like you. I got adopted into a mansion, by the woman who would became your best friend. I was fed, clothed, educated. Sure Mom was maybe lacking in the warm and fuzzy for a while, but I always knew no matter what she'd be in my corner. Isn't that what you wanted when you gave me up?"

Emma didn't even try to contain her tears anymore. Her medications may have made her more emotional but this was the frankest conversation they had ever had about the subject. It was impossible for it to not break her; hearing what she so desperately wanted. She knew it should have eased her despair; that she had made the right decision. But nothing Henry would ever say would erase the ultimate source of her pain.

"I missed it, Kid. I missed it all."

"You're here now. That's all that matters to me. I don't actually care that you didn't see my first birthday or whatever it is that you're sad you missed out on. Because all I remember is you believing in me when no one else did, helping me when all I talked about was fairy tales and villains before we knew it was real. Because you're my Ma. And you'd do anything for me. No matter how much pain it causes you, you put me first. Just the same as Mom. You both, in fact, all of us, have done things we thought was best that we regret now. Your parents, Grandpa, Mom and even me."

"He's right Emma," Regina unwittingly interrupted. "If we live in the past we sacrifice the future."

"Mom?"

"Sorry, I was wondering where my favorite two people had wandered off to, I couldn't help but overhear," Regina acknowledged apologetically.

"We're just chatting. Ma's upset about me growing up so fast." Henry was a good son, keeping secrets where he could.

"Nice try. I heard more than I should have. Emily is looking for you, Henry. Everyone is, you're sort of integral to the entire success of this party." Regina wasn't trying to be subtle, which was more than apparent.

"Right. I love you Ma. And you love me. The rest, it's just background," Henry said as he removed his own baby album from his mother's hands. "I'm going to hide this. Otherwise, it could turn into quite the embarrassing afternoon for me." Henry leaned in, hugged his blonde mother as best he could before tagging his brunette mother in to try and bring Emma back to somewhere close to a party spirit. He was pleased that he at least managed to get the sobs to subside.

"It's all going to be okay darling. It was too much too soon. It's our fault for not being more sensitive. I know you have been talking about these things in therapy, how much pain it's reminding you of."

"It's okay, he's just doing this because of what happen-ed. He doesn't really mean it." Emma tried to shake off her tears and ignored her wife as she stared into the garden and watched Neal being bounced on her mother's lap.

"Actually he asked me after you moved in. And again after we were married. It's my fault, I kept forgetting because of the danger we were always in. He wouldn't remind me because he thought my procrastination was about my insecurities."

"You're insecure about Henry? He loves you." Emma turned to face Regina, shocked.

"Yes, he does. But there was a time when he didn't want to be near me," Regina pointed out.

"That was a long time ago."

"Exactly." Regina stared at the completely torn blonde. "Emma, have you talked to your parents about what happened to you, the way you and Henry just did?"

"Sort of skirted around it. We talked a little in Never-land and then I just re-pressed it. We don't like to talk about it. They know how I feel and I know how they feel because I did the same."

"If Henry can forgive you, why can't you forgive them?" Regina had always pondered this exact question. Emma tried to hide it, but she always felt a pang of pain whenever Neal was around.

"They didn't give me up for me. They did it for them-selves, for everyone. I don't doubt the agony, but it wasn't about me, about mak-ing me happy. It's a harder situation to forgive. But I'm an adult, I need to accept that people are flaw-ed and you don't get from them what you want." The pair sat quietly as Regina honestly didn't know how to respond to that. "Did he cut the cake? I want to see him cut the cake," Emma asked, trying to feign excitement.

"Nice diversion."

"Thank you for rais-ing our son." At Emma's words, Regina's smile grew. "What?"

"You called him ours." Regina couldn't resist planting a delicate kiss on the lips of the woman she loved more than life itself.

* * *

Henry reminded Regina of when he was a young boy when he would sit with one leg stretched out and the other curled into himself as he sat on the floor; which was the position he was sat in now. He was building a tower out of playing cards while Emma played with an app on her iPad that altered the pictures she had taken that afternoon. Some were made beautiful, others were distorted and the pair laughed at the Charmings having inverted faces.

Regina didn't speak as she crossed the room and hooked up an old tape recorder to the television, despite the inquisitive looks she received. After lifting the remote she sat next to Emma and gripped the blonde's hand.

"I don't know if this will help, but it might, if it's too much I'll stop it right away. I realized that when we first met I lied to you. I said this didn't exist. You must have remembered and that's why you've never asked to see it. But I have this and everything else. I have it all Emma. I'm sorry I never realized I was keeping this from you." Regina motioned for Henry to join them as she pressed play. She never looked at the television, she simply studied Emma's face.

Any curiosity Emma's face adorned was erased as soon as she saw the pictures of a boy, who couldn't have been more than a year old. He sat in a navy blue dungarees, playing with toy cars, one leg tucked into his body, the other out straight. He picked up the yellow car, with a curved top, and attempted drive around as best as he could.

"Where's Mommy?" They could hear Regina ask over the tape. The little boy lifted the miniature car and gestured it towards the camera before placing it back on the ground and moving it around some more.

"Come to Mommy Henry," Regina called.

They all watched the boy started to crawl, his happiness glowing as he moved and started grabbing at the camera. Regina turned to see the tears stream down her wife's face and she felt her hand being squeezed so tightly it was as though Emma was using it to tether her to this realm.

"Who's my little prince?" Regina cooed which achieved and an eye roll from the Henry sitting before her in the present.

"Well that was fun, thanks for that Mom," Henry antagonized, clearly having missed the point of the tape his mothers hadn't.

"Just watch. I haven't seen this in a long time. I never realized before," Regina instructed her grown family.

They watched the camera move before it settled on a surface and Regina and Henry appeared back in the frame. Regina placed him across from her and raised him up onto his feet. She held his hands as she encouraged him to walk towards her. Both Emma and Henry laughed in unison each time Henry plopped back down onto his bottom, never shifting his feet. The Regina in the film didn't show her frustration. She kept encouraging her son to this milestone, desperate to capture the moment. When the boy fell to the carpeted floor for the fifth time he seemed to reach for the toy car, giving his mother an idea, the old carrot, and donkey trick. Regina took the car in her hand and then helped her son stand.

"Will you walk for mommy Henry?"

Three pairs of eyes watched in awe as the boy took three tiny steps as he reached for his yellow toy car. Regina's glee was evident and she lifted her son, praising him, making him giggle with tickles to his side, complete with calls of 'who's my little prince' and 'first steps'.

"Mom," Henry said agonizingly.

"See, we were always together, even when we didn't know it," Regina asserted as she used her thumb to wipe away her wife's tears. "Now Henry, are you ready for your real birthday present?"

"The riding lessons weren't my real present?" Henry asked suddenly very interested.

"Nope Kid," Emma said gaining her composure quickly and searching for the small box she had tucked into her chair earlier.

"What's the phrase? 'With great power comes great responsibility?' That applies to this. You deserve something special because of the maturity you have shown these past few months. But there are rules, we will go over them later, but break them and we take this back. You're too young for this really, but I enchanted it, so you'll be safe." Regina said with all the authority she could muster.

"Okay…?" Henry was confused as he looked eagerly at the small box in front of him.

"Okay, Kid, from your first steps… to your first wh-eels," Emma announced, clearly delighted with her own impromptu pun.

"You're giving me your old car? The Merc is mine?" Henry excitedly screamed as he bounced to his feet.

"Indeed," Regina responded, thrilled by his response.

"Moms! I love you guys so much! Let's go, let's go out!" He hugged them simultaneously before he raced to put on his shoes, never waiting for a reply.

The women took a quiet moment together, simply leaning into one another. Wordlessly Emma broke their contact and went to the kitchen table where the adoption papers had been. She heard Henry sprint back to the main room, halting suddenly when he saw what his mother was doing. To him, she was like a bird you didn't want to spook. Regina moved beside him and held her son's hand as they watched Emma stare at the page and her pen hovered over the line that was missing her name. Regina could feel Henry hold his breath as Emma slowly scribbled ink that only roughly resembled her former signature.

"So, Henry, where are we going?" Regina announced, allowing everyone to decompress from the high emotions each of them was feeling.

"For ice cream. And I want sprinkles. Sound good Ma?" Henry took his mother's lead in this one. Enough honesty and truth for one day. It was time to just be happy for an hour. Emma nodded, her smile bright and with Baxter in tow, followed.

All three thought they were alone at some point in their lives, but they were now more unified than ever before, as a family.


	19. Hardwired to Connect

"Emma. You need to eat darling," Regina coaxed as she tried to get her wife to focus on the bagel sandwich she had prepared for her. Regina couldn't have positioned her own chair closer to Emma's and as such, she saw every layer of her wife's vacant, confused and tired expression.

Emma hadn't had a 'bad day' like this in well over a month; Regina thought days like these were behind them. However, as soon as Emma tried to wake this morning her wife knew their day was just going to be a struggle. Regina had had to help her wife out of bed and get dressed; Emma's PT session was also less than productive. Regina had even made a doctor check Emma over while they were there and after nothing nefarious was observed she concluded that it was either the stress of coming home finally catching up or it had been exposure to the Well the night before. Emma had made her promise to take her and now Regina was wishing more than anything that she had reneged on that agreement. It was as though Emma hadn't slept in days, her life source completely drained. The blonde merely stared blankly out into the world and barely spoke.

After arriving home, Regina checked once again that her blonde wasn't feverish and with combined with Baxter's actions finally conceded Emma wasn't in any pain or distress; Regina would just try to get them through their routine. However, it was only lunch time and the brunette was already exhausted. She knew that to Emma this would be a non-day. Nothing from these hours would be retained. She doubted Emma even knew what time of day it was, let alone the fact she had left the house that morning.

"Here try this," Henry interrupted as he took his ma's hand to give Emma her drinking cup. "It's chicken and stars Ma. Can you drink this? It's not too hot," Henry enticed. Regina had been so lost in her wife's empty eyes she hadn't even heard Henry potter around the kitchen to prepare the liquid meal. She couldn't have been more grateful though when Emma started drinking absentmindedly.

"Thank you," Regina said to Henry as he gave her a hug.

"How d-id I get here?" Emma asked after gazing around the room. "Where's Laur-en?" She added, breaking her family's hearts. Baxter was trying desperately to get Emma's attention so she wouldn't return to being lost in herself but she barely acknowledged his existence.

"Lauren's home, just like you. We brought you here in the car," Regina soothed, hoping she was supplying the answers Emma needed to hear to remain calm.

"You know, you both look exhausted, why don't you both go lie down, I'll tidy the dishes," Henry offered, using the perfect tone to convey it wasn't a suggestion but an instruction.

"I d-on't w-ant to go to bed. There's still day-light," Emma observed.

"Okay, then. Movie marathon afternoon on the couch?" Henry eagerly suggested. "How about it Ma? There's a new Avengers movie," Henry supplied, knowing as he meet his other mother's eyes that she would give anything to not have to watch that movie again. All part of Henry's plan, though, he knew they would both be asleep to it in minutes.

"Okay," Emma conceded after an agonizingly long reflection. The way she was analyzing her surroundings told everyone they only had minutes before Emma's anxiety was going to overcome her. "But where's Lauren?"

"She's at home Emma. We can call her if you want to talk to her?" Regina was really beginning to panic now. Emma hadn't been this disoriented in a long time. It had to have been exposure to the darkness of the Well. It's why her wife was regressing. She had only herself to blame.

"I miss her," Emma asserted as she dropped her head to the table and stared at her sandwich. She stared longingly at it, as though she were a dog with a bone. "I'm hung-ry, I'm so hung-ry," she began to whimper.

"Okay, darling. Let's eat this. Then we will call Lauren and watch the movie with Henry." As Regina spoke, she maintained physical contact with Emma. She knew it was the best way to keep her attention, keeping her grounded to the present moment; a trick she had learned from Baxter, who was doing the same.

Regina lowered her head to the table, so she could look into her wife's eyes, causing Emma's to flicker between the two sympathetic brown orbs staring at her. Emma forgot all of her concerns as she took in every shade that made her wife's eyes glint. Regina saw Emma's expression change and anxiety decline, bringing her to smile which was then reciprocated by the blonde.

"I l-ove you," Emma expressed as she continued to gaze into Regina's eyes.

"I love you too," Regina replied simply.

* * *

"Thanks for coming over so quickly, Snow," Regina expressed, unable to hide her exasperation. "Blue needs help, but I can't just leave her here alone, not today," Regina whispered as they approached the living room. Snow was rendered motionless as she saw her daughter sitting on the couch fiddling with her puzzle block, Baxter at her feet, completely oblivious to the rest of the world.

"Emma, darling, your mom is here. She wants to spend some time with you. I have to go to the Well, I'll be back in a couple of hours at most," Regina said as she knelt in front of her wife, desperate that some of what she said was absorbed.

"Okay," Emma replied, her voice weak while never breaking her version of focus on her game.

Regina stood and kissed her wife's forehead before guiding Snow towards the kitchen area. She kept her voice low. "She already ate dinner, but there's a smoothie in the fridge if she gets hungry. Food through a straw is the way to go. If you can, get her to sleep. The game starts at 7, put it on for her; it will keep her calm. You can give her one of these if her anxiety gets too much," Regina added as she handed Snow her daughter's medication.

"Regina, she's not a child," Snow exclaimed, a little taken aback at Regina's attitude.

"Today, think like she is. She's not able to stand. Can you help her into her chair by yourself or do you want me to do it now?"

"No, I can do it. David will meet you at the Well; he's got his sword."

"Okay thanks, Snow, I'll keep him safe. I'll be back as soon as I can. Henry will be home from Emily's around nine," Regina quipped as she couldn't help but kiss her wife again as she hurriedly left, leaving Snow completely shocked at the exchange she had partaken in. However, as she watched Emma from afar, her mannerisms weren't those that she would normally associate with her daughter. Snow had no idea that Emma had moments, never mind entire days, that were like this.

"Hi sweetheart," Snow said as she sat next to Emma.

"Hi Mom," Emma replied though she never moved her focus from the yellow block in her hand.

"I thought we could spend some time together, just you and me. We haven't done that in a while."

"Okay," Emma responded without any conviction. Baxter's head tilt told Snow that she was effectively bothering Emma, who honestly seemed content in her own world. She picked up a book, completely at a loss of how she should act. Baxter seemed to approve of her choice though and returned his head to his paws.

As the evening progressed, Snow began to understand the frankness of Regina's instructions. Baxter had brought Snow the television remote just before seven and when the game began Emma seemed to relax to it, shifting her position so she could sleep-watch the game. By the second inning, Emma mumbled that she was hungry and it pained Snow that Emma really struggled to drink the smoothie Regina had made her.

"Wh-ere's R-egina?" Emma asked as she plopped her cup on the floor.

"She's with your dad; they're taking care of a magical creature that's loose in the woods," Snow said with enough assurance that she could see Emma had accepted the answer.

"Can't I help? I have ma-gic," Emma pointed out, "Or you could sh-oot it with arrows?"

"They have it covered sweetheart. If they didn't, they would call me, I promise," Snow assured. "Now we're supporting the team in white right?"

"Yes, we're batt-ing, which is always more excit-ing than pitch-ing," Emma began. Before Snow could ask another question, Emma had described in great detail the rules of the game, only to be interrupted by her shouting at the television when a ball was called a strike.

The period between which Emma would ask for Regina's whereabouts decreased and by the fourth interrogation, Emma couldn't be calmed. She tried to transport herself and only became more frustrated when she remained in place. Baxter began using his tactics to try to calm the blonde, but ultimately Snow opted for medication combined with lies. She convinced Emma that Regina was just working late helping Belle and would be home soon. Snow struggled to maintain her composure when she saw Emma's face laced with anguish as she brought her chair to help her get ready for bed. To Snow, it was like her daughter had just been released from the hospital, completely lost and tortured by her situation. Yesterday, they had enjoyed the day in the park as a family and Emma was as happy as could be.

The physical effort Emma expended just going to the bathroom and brushing her teeth had exhausted the blonde to the point where she didn't have the energy, nor the coordination to change into her pajamas. Snow found the awkward process emotionally taxing; she had never dressed her daughter before. She had to hold back tears as she realized how helpless her daughter could now be.

As the minutes passed, Snow's own apprehension was increasing.  _Where were Regina and David?_  They should have been back hours ago. The game was almost over and as Emma lay in her bed watching, she held Baxter who always seemed to do the right thing by Emma.

"Wh-ere's R-egina?" Emma asked, tears falling as she looked to the empty side of the bed.

"She'll be back soon sweetheart. Just try to relax and close your eyes. When you wake, she'll be right here," Snow assured, whilst stroking her daughter's hair.

Emma, however, couldn't sleep. Even though she didn't know what day it was or any of the events of the last twenty-four hours, she knew something wasn't right. She felt that Regina needed her.

* * *

Emma's determination to stay awake and apprehension was suddenly vindicated as she heard the distinctive footsteps of her father's boots traverse the wooden floor of their foyer. They were heavy, rapid; unaccompanied. The patter of Regina's did not echo his.

The unmistakable silhouette of her limp wife in her dad's arms caused Emma to become completely stoic before fear overwhelmed her.

"R-egina!" Emma all but screamed.

"It's okay, she's okay, she just needs to rest," David tried to assure his daughter as he gently lay the brunette next to her.

"She's not okay, she's un-conscious!" Emma replied incredulously as she tried to rouse her wife by applying pressure to her shoulder, gently shaking it as she did so. "What happen-ed to her?" Emma asked trying to find the source of her wife's current condition.

"She just used too much magic, Emma. She exhausted herself," David informed his daughter as if it were nothing. He began to remove Regina's boots as Snow arrived back from the bathroom with a bowl and cloth in her hands. Baxter had forced himself between both women and his head lay on Regina's abdomen in his attempt to tell her she was safe.

"She's weak. Her magic…I can bare-ly feel it," Emma concluded to herself as she brushed the hair out of her wife's eyes before Snow placed the cool cloth on Regina's forehead. It was at this point Emma's brain caught up, the adrenaline of seeing her wife like this helping her mind focus. "The Well did this?" She directed at her parents.

"Yes, Emma," Snow responded with a soft smile.

"So, you've done this be-fore?" Emma deduced as she watched David place an extra blanket over Regina's feet.

"We have. Sometimes she doesn't know when to stop," David said sadly.

Emma looked at Regina before shifting her body so that she could lay her ear over her wife's heart. She needed to hear it beat, loudly and rhythmically. Emma placed her hand under her face and focused. Regina needed magic. She needed Regina. The equation seemed simple. Without thinking about the process, but rather the outcome, Emma's hand glowed white and penetrated deep inside Regina's chest before it dissipated. Emma had acted too fast for her parents to stop her and before they could even realize what just happened, Emma's own eyes closed in exhaustion.

The Charmings stared at Baxter for an immediate diagnosis. He tilted his head in confusion at the magical light then nuzzled into both women and settled himself for a night wedged between them. Snow verified Baxter's conclusion as David covered his daughter with a blanket. Snow pulled up the chair she always uses to watch Regina's recovery when this happens. David gathered his own chair from the living room and joined Snow.

"What happened?" Snow hissed.

"Two-headed flying demon that liked to breathe purple ice-fire. It camouflaged itself in the woods and we had to track it down. I lured it out before Regina fire-balled its ass. I decapitated it just to be sure it really was dead."

"We need to help her more. Them more."

"Us help Regina? The most independent woman from the Enchanted Forest?"

"Yes. We can get groceries or take Emma to PT, anything David. She's going to run herself into the ground. Looking after Emma, it's harder than I thought. Today, it was like I was babysitting her. And then we ask Regina to go out and save us all. We need to do more, we need to be better people."

"Okay Snow, we'll find ways to help more, to make it better."

"Regina really is something. I had no idea Emma had days like this. The patience of that woman," Snow commented as she changed the cloth on Regina's forehead.

"She just loves her, Snow. With everything she has."

* * *

"I know you're angry," David surrendered to the former Mayor as the Charmings explained why Emma was still out cold at nine in the morning.

"I'm furious. How could you let her do this?" Regina fired back.

"'Let' is a radical interpretation. Besides, when have you stopped Emma from doing anything once her mind was set on it?" Snow shot back in a hushed tone as Neal was sleeping in her arms after his bottle.

"Eat this," David directed as he placed a plate of fruit next to the oatmeal he had already prepared.

"And take two of these," Henry ordered as he threw painkillers at his mother. Henry had taken Baxter for a walk outside and in unison, they shook off the light dusting of rain that covered their coats. Baxter drank greedily before toddling unaccompanied to lay next to Emma's side.

"Belle thinks she's getting closer to a translation," David piped up when the silence of room started to grate on him.

"Something more useful and accurate than 'bananas are the fruit of the sea", I hope?" Regina said dryly as she guzzled her coffee. She needed this 'family' breakfast to be over so she could get Emma up. After using magic, she assumed another day like the one before awaited them.

"One can hope," Snow said as she smiled back. She couldn't help but take in how tired Regina seemed, how her feisty attitude was amplified.

"Should we wake Ma or let her sleep?" Henry asked as he downed his orange juice signaling he was done with his own meal.

"I need to wake her, she needs to take her medications. I'll just have to see how she feels and take it from there. Just continue to make yourselves at home," Regina spat as she saw how the Charmings had all but moved in for the day. She was almost surprised they didn't have a room that was just called theirs at this point.

Regina had expected to find Emma in the exact condition she had left her; sound asleep. As she lowered herself into the spot she had recently vacated so their faces were only inches apart, she saw her wife's eyes flutter. This was normally her favorite reproducible moment of the day; when Emma's eyes met hers before she realized things had changed and remembered all the suffering they had been through. This morning, however, she had missed it as she noted Emma was petting Baxter, her iPad discarded by her side.

"Hi," Emma greeted Regina lovingly as she forced her eyes to stay fully open. "Are you okay?"

"Of course darling, why wouldn't I be?" As Regina spoke, she was already using her left hand to trace the outline of Emma's cheek and jaw with the back of her fingers.

"The Well, last night," Emma supplied sleepily. She was hoping that was enough clarification.

"I'm fine. How about you, how are you feeling?"

"Lonely. I woke up and you w-eren't here and now you're back." Emma surprised Regina as she shifted and planted a soft kiss on Regina's lips. The contact only made both women want more of each other and Emma unabashedly controlled the situation as she pulled Regina impossibly closer. Regina could taste fresh mint from the blonde's lips, noting that Emma had obviously already risen and was tired enough to just go back to bed. Emma didn't cease her desire for a deeper connection as she threw her right leg over her wife, and with her right hand started to run it over her back, their kiss never breaking.

"Emma stop," Regina struggled to say. "We can't do this. Believe me, I want to do this more than anything in the world, but I refuse to have sex with you when Snow White and Prince Charming are in the next room. With our son and your brother no less."

"Well get rid of them and come back," Emma stated as if it were obvious. "They'll understand, if they don't I'll just explain how unbelievably hot you are."

Regina contemplated the request and seeing no issue with the logic Emma presented, had been momentarily persuaded. However, she knew it was easier said than done, especially since the family was loitering to ensure they were both in reasonable health.

"Your family are worried about you. Let play nice and have sex later," Regina suggested.

"I m-ight not want to have sex with you later."

"Impossible dear. I can always remind you how attracted we are to each other," Regina flirted as she roughly squeezed her wife's toned ass as a confident reminder.

"Okay, you convinced me," Emma teased back. She was unable, though, to hide the reason she had returned to bed as she took a heavy blink.

"Do you want to sleep some more darling?" Regina said softly, changing the tone, but not the intensity of their intimacy.

"May-be just for a l-little wh-ile," Emma began to slur as she felt the pull of her fatigue. "W-will you lie w-ith m-eee?"

"Always." Before Regina could even tell Emma she loved her the Savior was asleep. It broke Regina's heart that she would have to wake her in an hour, for Emma was now resting with a smile etched across her face. Regina reciprocated it as she thought of how those few minutes had reminded her that her Emma, the woman she had fallen in love with, was right there.

* * *

Regina sighed heavily in relief when the Charmings concluded they were being more of a burden than a help after they tidied up from lunch. Emma had returned to painting and the normalcy of her continuing with her new routine convinced everyone that she had recovered from the day before. Snow had clung to Regina as they parted, silently expressing her sincere gratitude and understand of all Regina was doing. Regina was uncomfortable but accepted the personal space intrusion when David gave her an apologetic shrug.

Regina, like Emma, was struggling with how to fill her time now that her construction project was over and she wasn't driving back and forth to see Emma. She found her afternoons free. Despite not being in the mood to read, Regina perused one of her magical texts again before she heavily threw the book down. She was surprised that Baxter was staring at her, seeing as Emma wasn't in the room. He tilted his head and slightly whimpered. Regina rose to her feet, instantly panicked, and was surprised to find Emma happily painting, just as she had last seen her an hour ago. Baxter tried to hand Emma her water cup, but Emma batted it away.

"Emma, darling, are you thirsty?" Regina asked, assuming she was deciphering Baxter's intentions accurately.

"Not at all. I don't know what's w-rong with him. He's been like this since I start-ed paint-ing the sky," Emma said, frowning at the gorgeous lab who moved his eyes between the pair. "Did we walk him today? Does he need to run around?"

"Yes. Henry took him out for a walk and played fetch while you were sleeping, but I'll take him now. I'm restless anyway. Do you want to come?" Regina asked as she admired the impressive textures Emma was incorporating into her work.

"I'm sort of in a groove. Once I've finish-ed this bit, we can go?" Emma offered.

"Of course, I'll just get his harness on, so he's all ready when you are. Come, Baxter," Regina called. But Baxter didn't follow. He placed his paw on Emma instead and barked.

"Fine I'll go," Emma said rolling her eyes, clearly disappointed her groove was prematurely over.

But that didn't appease Baxter. He wouldn't leave Emma side; he kept giving her her water cup and wouldn't settle when the pair tried to put on his harness. He planted his butt on the floor and refused to move when Regina attached his lead; he did the same for Emma. Even when Regina pulled him with all of her strength, he only slid in her direction.

"I'm sorry I don't know what's w-rong with him," Emma appealed as she saw Regina's frustration grow. "I'll just take him outside in the garden," Emma conceded, removing his walking attire.

"Can we do something together for a while?" Regina asked, surprising Emma. Regina seemed vulnerable and Emma wondered if it was the effect of the Well. She remembered reading that Regina felt better being near her.

"Together?" Emma indicated mischievously.

"We can do that later. Henry is bringing Emily over for dinner."

"Sad panda. Well, let's just watch funn-y YouTube videos for a while."

"Fine, but no more dancing cats."

The pair had spent nearly an hour clicking through videos of bottle feeding baby animals, SNL skits, and watching people do the most ridiculous things that often resulted in self-injury. Emma's plan had worked and Regina seemed more relaxed and generally happier. They were sat, cuddled into each other on the couch, the iPad between them. Baxter, however, never settled. He was up, then down, and nudged the pair repeatedly. It was only now that his whining was beginning to make hearing the videos impossible.

"I'm go-ing to use magic on him if he doesn't stop soon," Emma snapped. He was seriously ruining their relaxing afternoon together.

"Are you okay?" Regina said, suddenly sitting forward and shifting herself so she was looking directly at Emma.

"Yeah I'm fine. You know, apart from the obvious." Emma smiled, proud of her ability to shrug off the apparent.

"Then I'm going to check on Henry. I have a bad feeling."

"Better knock first. He's a teen-ager with a girl in his room."

"He wouldn't, would he? Not with us sitting here," Regina gasped, horrified.

"It would explain your bad feel-ing," Emma retorted, enjoying winding Regina up. Baxter didn't follow but sat with the blonde, pressing his paws into her thighs. She loved this animal and couldn't resist playing with his ears as they were presented to her. He ran to Regina as she came down the stairs, who was perplexed at finding nothing amiss in her son's bedroom. She analyzed the house as she walked back to Emma, reclaiming her previous position.

"Talk to me," Emma encouraged as she shifted closer, reaching for Regina's hand, sensing her wife's distress.

"Something bad is about to happen," Regina concluded, before she abruptly turned and stared at Emma, then Baxter, and back again. "Lie down," she ordered as she got up without further clarification.

"Wait, why? I feel fine. I'm not tired," Emma responded, completely confused.

"Take these and lie down," Regina commanded on her return. When Emma gave her nothing more than a bewildered stare, Regina added, "Just do it, for me." Baxter was already offering her water cup.

Emma complied and allowed Regina to make her comfortable. Then watched with great interest as Regina closed all the curtains, turned off the lights, and brought a basin and a bowl with a cool cloth that she placed on her head. Regina just sat on the coffee table, looking at her watch and staring at her wife. Baxter finally relaxed by Emma's legs.

"This is ridicu-lous," Emma announced after two minutes of eerie silence. "I feel fine, honestly."

"Good," Regina replied as she grabbed Emma's hand hoping that she had been fast enough to prevent the worst of what was about to come. She knew the moment Emma started to feel the migraine take hold. Her smile receded, her hand twitched, and her eyes closed. Regina could do nothing but watch as Emma's eyes crinkled together and her complexion paled. She felt a strong squeeze of her hand as she gathered Emma's in her own after changing the cold compress that brought her wife some relief.

"It's n-not s-oo b-bad," Emma mumbled. "I'm -jjust go-ing ttt-o sl-eep," she worked hard to add.

"I'll be right here darling," Regina whispered. "I'll be right here."

As Emma slept, Regina texted Henry to make sure he didn't make noise in the house. Naturally, at the news, he and Emily tiptoed down the stairs, said their goodbyes before Henry went to see if he could be of assistance. He sat next to his mother on the coffee table and hugged her as they waited. It was clear Regina wasn't going to let Emma's hand go and Henry was not going to let either of his mothers struggle alone. It was clear though that this migraine was manageable; Emma was still, relaxed even. She wasn't whimpering or squirming in her sleep, something which Regina had become accustomed to watching. She looked to Baxter and silently thanked him. Next time, she would understand what he was trying to say. She could act faster, maybe prevent any pain at all.

* * *

Emma only slept an hour before her family came into focus.

"Hi," Regina said softly, unsure if Emma really wanted to wake up or if more sleep was preferable.

"Hi," Emma mumbled almost incoherently. Regina waited, giving Emma time to gain a little more consciousness.

"How are you feeling darling?" Regina gently pressed.

"Head hurt-s, tir-ed," Emma replied as she began to shift herself onto her back, becoming confused by the dog at her feet. She stared at him, blinked several times before recognition hit. "Baxter."

"I'll get some more painkillers," Henry announced as he leaped to his feet, excited that he could do something useful.

"Why is it so d-ark; is it late?" Emma asked as she sat up to accept the water, then the pills Henry offered.

"Lights are off," Regina replied simply as she scrutinized her wife. Emma reached for her chair, which after Regina positioned next to the couch, she shuffled herself into without much fuss.

"Th-ank you," Emma said with enough emotion it was clear she meant for everything. "I'll be r-ight back," Emma added as she kissed her wife's cheek and maneuvered her wheelchair towards their master suite, Baxter dutifully in tow.

"That could have been worse," Henry said relieved as he began to gather the bowl and cloth.

"And a lot better. Baxter was trying to tell us for hours," Regina added as she straightened the pillows.

"I know this is morbid, but I'm already fearing the day Baxter dies," Henry said regretfully.

"I had the same feeling, that's why Baxter will now live as long as she does," Regina said as she started to fold Emma's discarded blankets.

"You used magic? To keep him alive? But Mom, all magic comes with a price."

"I am aware Henry," Regina said dismissively.

"And this would be dark magic right, to preserve life like that? I didn't even know you could do that. Why can't we just keep us all alive forever?" Henry asked, genuinely perplexed.

"Animals and humans don't have the same rules. And I didn't do it, Gold did. I know the dark magic would be too powerful for me to handle, especially right now."

"What did he ask for in return?"

"A favor he will call upon in the future. Whatever the price is Henry, I'll gladly pay it to make your mother's life as easy and happy as possible."

"You're a good wife, Mom," Henry muffled out as he squeezed his mother tightly.

"I try Henry, I try," Regina replied, thankful that there were more ways for her family to be connected than merely through blood or paperwork.

They lived in a land with magic and the strongest magic of all is love.


	20. The Stability of Proximity

Regina nursed her coffee with great amusement as she watched her wife stare intently, then gesticulate towards the red candle that sat in front of her. It was clear to the brunette that Emma was determined to use magic to ignite a flame and was becoming increasingly frustrated at her inability to do so. The blonde took to failure in such a light-hearted way that it made the process comical, rather than tragic.

"Is it in the wrist action?" Emma asked, knowing full well she was being scrutinized.

"No, darling. Emotions remember? You're focusing on the wrong thing. Probably because you don't need more light in this well-lit room," Regina casually observed.

"My magic doesn't seem to work the same as I re-member. I used to just think of things and it happen-ed. Can you teach me? Like you did before," Emma asked, bringing out her best persuasive puppy eyes. "I promise to stop if I feel funny," Emma added, sweetening the deal.

"Yes, because a raging inferno is what we all need this morning," Regina responded dryly.

"You don't have to be so melo-dramatic you know. I am capable of half decent magic, without be-ing in peril. I just want to help. Even if it's not at the Well itself, I can at least help you re-cover." Regina scrunched her eyes, clearly debating every aspect of her wife's request. "Please," Emma all but whimpered.

"Fine. What do you want to be able to do?"

"Blast my magic," Emma replied without a beat.

"What?" Regina responded, disbelievingly. Of all the things she expected her wife to request, that was near the bottom of her hypothetical list.

"You know like we do to-gether. I want to be able to defeat the critters of darkness with streams of magical light," Emma remarked, her face adorning a satisfied smirk.

"Then we will go outside for that. This place finally doesn't look like a construction site, I won't have you destroying months of hard work for a few minutes of mischief," Regina said as she relented, rolling her eyes to convey it was against her better judgment. In return, Emma bounced in her chair showing her childish nature.

Within minutes, the pair had set up what could only be described as their version of a firing range. They even had various distances and sizes of objects for Emma to fire at. Everything from apples to balloons with pictures of dragons' faces attached. Baxter sat puzzled by the strange morning, a little perplexed that his mid-morning nap by Emma's feet as she painted was interrupted with so much activity.

"I don't really know how to teach you. I just sort of think 'fireball', and voilà, one appears," Regina absently commented as she demonstrated the ease at which the controlled fire appeared. This brought a frown to the blonde as she did the same movement, with the same desire, and yet produced nothing. Not even a spark.

"Maybe I'm not str-ong enough yet? Except I don't feel weak," Emma pondered, in her own world looking longingly at her empty palm.

"Perhaps it's like everything else; your brain just needs to relearn how to do this. You  _can_  do this, you've demonstrated great magic since you woke up. It took weeks for that ICU room to become functional," Regina coaxed, her smile bright and encouraging. "We just have to figure out how to tap into it on command."

Emma had subconsciously accepted there would always be things the people around her would refer to that she wouldn't recall. She had learned to pick up on the social cues if it was important for her to remember or not. Regina's demeanor told her it wasn't, all that mattered for this conversation was that she had magic, a lot of it and had used it since drowning.

"How about you imagine that balloon is the Chernabog that messed up the bug?" Regina suggested, knowing it was a sore subject for her wife, which often lead to a passionate speech about insurance coverage.

"Oh man I was so piss-ed about that; damn thing scratch-ed the paint-work, shatter-ed the windows-" A vibrant white blast emanated from Emma's palm, hitting Regina square in the chest, causing the brunette to fall heavily onto the damp undergrowth. Emma's eyes widened in panic as Baxter immediately ran to her aid. "Regina!" Emma screamed.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," she repeated quickly, though it wasn't clear who she was convincing. "Next time, try aiming." Regina slowly got back to her feet, disgusted that her jeans and palms were covered in mud.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Emma was trembling, frightened she'd almost brought serious harm to her wife.

"Really I'm fine. Just think of that anger with your hand facing the target this time," Regina encouraged.

Emma felt the only way to get over her shame was to just do as asked. But she couldn't visualize the demon sent to kill her, let alone feel anger rage inside of her. No beam of white light appeared. Instead, she thought of what she had done to Regina and surprisingly, a ball of glowing energy developed in her hand. It mimicked the magic she had tried to heal Regina with only a few days earlier. Regina recognized the purity of the magic conjured and placed her wife's hand over her own heart, feeling the unadulterated elation from such light magic penetrating her senses. She closed her eyes, absorbing the unifying feeling of Emma's magic mixing with her own; a feeling she had craved for months. When she opened her eyes, she met Emma's, whose green irises were glimmering through her tear-filled eyes.

"Well. Now I really am fine," Regina cooed as she stroked away the tears that had already fallen, trying to hide her awe at how powerful the Savior's magic could be. "So, what about that demon? How long was the bug out of commission?" She added, trying to refocus her wife's anger, helping her move past this emotional setback.

"Two weeks. I had to drive the patrol car. It was an auto-matic," Emma growled as she moved her hand straight out in front of her, causing a balloon to explode instantly when the beam of light made impact. Baxter barked, before seeking shelter behind Emma's chair.

"So he is many things, but a guard dog he is not," Regina remarked, laughing as Baxter had used his paws to cover his eyes.

"That's okay, I have you to protect me," Emma playfully observed.

"You're such a Charming." Regina rolled her eyes once more before absorbing just how happy Emma seemed as she smiled at her palm and then to the obliterated target.

"Can I do some more?" Emma all but begged.

"That would be the point of this entire adventure, darling. Have at it," Regina chuckled, thoroughly enjoying the normalcy of the moment even though it was blasting targets with magic in their backyard. Their lives just weren't like everyone else's.

Several minutes later, after successfully hitting a few more targets with those that missed merely scorching the grass, Emma seemed to lose interest in target practice. After sitting quietly for a few moments, Baxter seized on the opportunity to drop a tennis ball on Emma's lap. He adorned the required eyes that pleaded for her to throw it. Regina secretly loved seeing the pair play like this. Not only was it good exercise for them both but the duo seemed lost in their happiness. Emma would often fool Baxter by only pretending the throw the ball. He would get so far and stubbornly sit where he was until she finally threw it. It was a staring contest he always won. He did not beg. This time, though, when Emma went to throw the ball an innocent blast of magic accompanied it, which turned Baxter's fur rainbow colored.

"I didn't know he was so political," Regina chuckled after the married pair watched him shake off his magical infusion as if nothing had happened and obediently retrieved the ball.

"What did I do?" Emma exclaimed, unable to treat the moment with the comic twang it deserved. This merited attitude was only reiterated by Baxter, who returned the ball and sat patiently, waiting for his next turn. He noticed his fur didn't look quite right and squinted his head in search of answers.

"Mommy is sorry, she's so sorry Bax," Emma said with her voice full of sadness and regret. "Can you turn him back? He looks ridiculous," she directed at Regina.

"Of course, but I want a picture of this first," she said capturing Baxter from multiple angles on her phone. Once she was satisfied, she turned Baxter back to his natural chocolate color with a simple flick of her wrist.

"Can you th-row it for him?" Emma sounded despondent as she gestured the ball towards her wife, who took it without question and clearly added some magic to the throw, for the length was equal to a football Hail-Mary.

"Are you okay? Feeling alright?" Regina asked, noting Emma was now eerily quiet.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just… I hurt you and him. I think I'm done try-ing to stun th-ings today," Emma replied, sadly.

"Well I think that was remarkable progress, despite the few missteps," Regina tried to reassure.

"I want to do someth-ing else before I'm all tap-ed out," the blonde declared resolutely, shaking off the moment of despair that could have easily overcome her.

"Oh?" Regina asked, continuing to fiddle with Emma's hand that she had grabbed moments earlier.

"I want to 'poof'." Regina looked at her confused. "Teleport, whatever you want to call it. Go from one place to the next, magic-ally." Emma's eyes brightened at the thought.

"Okay, now that I really don't know how to teach. I just really think of where I want to go and concentrate on that place. The hand flick is to help concentrate the magic to allow movement."

"Does it ever not work, with dis-astrous con-sequences?"

"What do you mean darling?"

"Like can half of me be left be-hind and the other goes where I want to go. So I, you know, die because I've been split in half?" Regina began laughing hard at Emma's suggestion. "What? I don't re-member the rules; please don't laugh at me."

"I'm sorry, but no. And you never asked me this question before. The first time you did it you must have either been desperate or just far more reckless with your life," Regina quipped, delighted Emma was taking her magical training more seriously than ever before.

"Or… I just figure-ed if you could do it, I could," Emma teased back, looking at Regina longingly.

"I have a fair idea where you would like to 'poof' to if you keep looking at me like that," Regina noted suggestively before forcefully planting her lips on her wife's, who eventually broke their contact when she was in need of air.

"As tempt-ing as that is, I really want to practice. I shouldn't hurt any-one right?" Emma asked, showing her overall apprehension, which helped curve her wife's sex drive and focus on her blonde's other needs.

"No, it's binary dear. You either move or you don't."

"So think and flick. That's your entire encyclo-pedic knowledge? Because I tried that. I tried just sensing where I wanted to go and I didn't move," Emma admitted despondently. "I hate this. I hate not be-ing able to do anyth-ing." Emma's emotions were beginning to oscillate and it didn't go unnoticed. She even added a frustrated forceful kick of her leg for emphasis.

"You've been trying? When?" Regina asked, attempting to hide her disapproval and growing concern.

"I try to 'poof' in and out of my chair. Especially at night when my leg is tired," Emma confessed. "It would just make my life easier," Emma diverted her eyes, unable to look directly at her wife as she showed a little more of her heart than she intended.

"Emma-" Regina's voice breaking at this realization.

"It's okay. I'm okay with this. I miss my magic more than be-ing able to walk be-cause I want to help you. You don't sleep, you exhaust yourself of magic constantly and I just sit here all day and paint. I'm suppose-ed to be a Savior and I'm… I'm j-ust use-less," Emma explained, struggling to contain her sorrow at her own ineptitude.

"Stop," Regina commanded, promptly ceasing Emma's tirade. "You are not useless and I won't have you speaking those words. You just proved you can do it. Your magic has always been different and we will figure it out. And you do help me. I feel immensely better now that you're home. I don't need us to be Storybrooke's power couple. I need for you and me to be an 'us'. That is all."

Baxter had already intervened, his paws and head firmly placing pressure on Emma's thighs. When the act had no effect on her demeanor he began nuzzling; the act helping her shift her focus back to her wife, away from her analysis of her self-worth. She found Regina's eyes, which to Emma, only seemed to transmit pity.

"It's such a nice day, isn't it?" Emma injected randomly, showing she had no desire to pursue the emotional turn their day had taken but focus on the bright in their day.

"Yes," Regina agreed as she scrutinized her wife to ascertain her current emotional state.

"I want to make you a picnic and lay around with you in the after-noon sun," Emma announced merrily after a moment's reflection.

"You want to make me a picnic?" Regina asked bemused, already entertained at the notion of her wife navigating the kitchen. Her amusement was then increased as she watched Emma try to magically transport herself. After several failed attempts, with increasingly flamboyant hand movements, the blonde gave up and navigated her chair to the kitchen, muggle-style.

"You get the blanket and such organiz-ed. I'm go-ing to make the food. No help-ing, no peek-ing. I'll let you know when I'm done," Emma directed as she left her wife alone in the backyard, thrilled that they were to spend the afternoon together.

* * *

"It's been how long?" Henry wondered as he heard his stomach grumble for the third time.

"Two hours," Regina replied as though it were nothing.

"Can I just go in there and grab something, anything? I'm starving. I don't understand why it has to be so secretive."

"No, Henry. Your mother asked for privacy and independence to do this herself. Just be patient."

"But she's not even making food for me! What am I supposed to do? Stand here and starve? Do you have any food stashed in here?" Henry asked as he started opening desk drawers randomly.

"I'm a queen, Henry. I do not 'stash' food."

"Well, she's clearly having issues. Even one-handed, it doesn't take two hours to make sandwiches and soda. Maybe she forgot what she was doing or even how to make it. Maybe Ma's in there staring at the bread and lunchmeat, clueless," Henry said, his persistence encouraging his mother to become concerned.

"Okay fine, go in there and take a peek. Help if you need to, but let her be if you can," Regina relented as she rose from her desk and stared out the window at the beautiful day that was awaiting them. Although the process seemed time-consuming, she didn't sense Emma was upset or in any kind of distress and she trusted those instincts. Therefore, she had simply waited patiently by showering, paying their bills, and even trying the spider solitaire game that her wife found so engrossing. However, in all honesty, she was pleased Henry wanted to be the buffer; she was ready for their afternoon to start.

* * *

As it transpired, there was no need to be concerned. Emma was having a fantastic time. After half an hour, she was proud of herself. She had been able to assemble the necessary ingredients to make Regina's favorite sandwich of turkey, lettuce, and tomato. Henry had guessed correctly that Emma didn't remember how to prepare the meal and at her confusion, Baxter had retrieved her iPad and helpfully placed it in her lap. Minutes later, she was back in her groove, having found a YouTube video to follow. Baxter tried to continue to be helpful, but in the end, all he was good for was eating the fallen lunchmeat off the floor.

Next, she searched for the picnic basket, which was located on the top shelf of the pantry. Emma was not undeterred and used a broom to hook onto the handle which brought it down to her, smacking herself in the face in the process. She completed the buffet with carrots, ranch dressing, hummus, and pita chips as the side dishes. In the fridge, she found a bottle of Regina's favorite non-alcoholic beverage: Pellegrino. She added it to the basket with two of her cups. She realized though that Regina didn't drink out of such things and ended up googling how to drink. She saw pictures of glasses and found one in a cabinet and held it next to the displayed pictures to compare. Baxter had tried to assure her that she was right, but Emma didn't believe it. She simply didn't think the thing in her hand was actually a vessel for fluids.

"Yep, that's right Ma," Henry announced as he saw the perplexed expression overtaking his mother's face. "Just add it to the basket," he suggested as he perused the contents. "Great job Ma, I think you're all set," he encouraged. He saw the pictures on her iPad and smiled that his 'gift' had once again come in handy.

"You're sure this is right? I don't want to mess this up. It's what we ate that day. Did I make it right?" Emma asked, reversing their familial roles momentarily.

"Yes, Ma. It looks good, now go enjoy yourself," he said subtly adding napkins to the basket. "I'll finish tidying as I'm going to make my own food anyways. Since you didn't seem to make any for me," giving her a quick kiss on the cheek to show there was no animosity.

* * *

Once, this location was where battle lines had been drawn, but now the pair now sat comfortably surrounded by love under Regina's tree. Emma rested her head on the tree's trunk, Baxter asleep at her side, while Regina crunched one of the few carrots remaining.

"What are you thinking about darling?" Regina asked as she saw a wide smile adorn her wife's sleepy face.

"Just how perfect this is," Emma admitted, fully opening her eyes to take in the softness of her wife's features in the afternoon sun. "I love it when we do this."

"I know; it's why I wanted to propose this way," Regina said as she lay down and lowered her head onto her wife's lap.

"I like that this is just our first date spot; away from every-one, simply you and me." As Emma spoke she ran her fingers through Regina's soft hair, admiring that she was letting her take the lead. "Your face at the sugges-tion… what was your response? 'A picnic? I'm a little more re-fined Miss Swan,'" Emma giggled, after imitating Regina's regal, succinct tone.

"Yes, well. I participated, didn't I? It was rather… rustic?"

"I know. I got a queen to eat with her f-ingers."

"It was the first time I really let go of that. Being the queen I mean. The first time I could really see myself being the person I thought I would be when I was younger. Being with you that afternoon, there were no walls, no reservations, it just felt…"

"Like home," Emma finished.

"That's why you wanted to do this today?" Regina asked, tilting her head to look into her wife's sparkling green eyes.

"I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me. I can't help with the magic, but I can make lunch. I just wanted to do someth-ing for you. You have, after all, done so much for me. It's small I know-"

"I love you, Sheriff Swan," Regina interrupted.

"I love you, too, Madame Mayor."

* * *

Regina and Emma entered the library, noting that Belle, Gold, and the Charmings were already present; the hero crew, plus Gold, finally united. They were all gathered around a table; texts scattered, stubbed candles, disarrayed food containers. Belle's obvious nervous disposition was being echoed by the Charmings, who were fidgeting continuously. Whatever they had been summoned for was clearly something that could only be classed as news.

Emma noticed the only one who gave a double take to her appearance was Gold. She couldn't recall seeing Belle or Gold since her accident, but Belle seemed so unfazed by her being a wheelchair that she had to assume they'd met before.

"What is it you needed to tell us so urgently?" Regina asked, frustrated that her and Emma's tranquil day had been interrupted.

"I have the translation from the ancient text about our…situation," Belle offered apprehensively.

"Which fruit should we be concerned about this time? Or is it a vegetable?" Regina quipped.

"Well, what does it say?" Snow asked dismissing Regina's comment, assuming that this time the translation had at least made sense for them all to assemble so abruptly.

"As you know-" Belle began, pausing as she looked directly at Emma, appreciating that she might not actually remember any pertinent information for this conversation.

"If it's about the 'Magical Well of Evil', I remember. Dark-ness is trying to push into our land because we have magic. Did you fig-ure out why?" Emma asked, showing signs of the Sheriff she used to be.

"Yes, I believe so." Everyone could feel the thickness of the air become suffocating. The fact that Belle wouldn't make eye contact with anyone was the most off-putting aspect. She began to fiddle with paper in her hand, unwilling to even look at it. "As you know, this land was not supposed to have magic, until Rumple brought it back through the Well. It's now the weak spot in this realm; the point where dark forces try to get through to access the power that comes with magic. It's been that way since the day magic was brought here."

"Just get to the point, teacup," Regina spat as she became increasingly impatient with the retelling of facts. She was tempted to grab the translation and read it for herself but managed to quell the desire as Belle seemed to gain confidence and continued.

"Because Emma was here, balancing out the darkness with her light, she made it… undesirable for darkness and dark creatures to come here. But when she was gone, the balance shifted. It became unstable, creating a rift that could be broken through. The magical power of Storybrooke seemed obtainable to the other realms," Belle explained.

"So you just need light magic to, what, counter-act it and everyth-ing will be fine?" Emma inquired, not allowing Belle to continue her practiced 'speech'.

"No, not just any light magic. The text specifies that because this is a magical place which exists because of a curse, it has to be  _your_  light magic. You were destined to be the one to break it.  _Your_ magic is the only thing that will balance the forces. It's the only magic that will work," Belle attempted to clarify, finally making eye contact with the Savior.

"But I'm not strong enough. I can bare-ly light a candle, never m-ind counter-act dark-ness," Emma protested, feeling her own inadequacies more than ever before. He voice was weak, shaking and it didn't go unnoticed by any of the heroes.

"And you're sure about the translation? You're sure that this information is accurate?" Regina interjected, desperate to hear that her previous transgressions weren't once again going to define her wife's life.

"I mean, Emma's left town before. We all went to Neverland and nothing like this happened," Snow added anxiously, also assuming Belle had it wrong.

"I'm not sure, the texts aren't clear on this, but Neverland was only for a short period of time. I think it wasn't long enough for the rift to be obvious. We didn't notice anything untoward here for a couple of weeks after Emma left town. Before that, she was weak and wearing the cuff, so her magic wasn't strong enough to repel the darkness. It was a unique situation; it's why this hasn't happened before," Belle hypothesized.

"And you really didn't know about any of this?" Regina barked at Gold, certain he had a hand in this turn of fate. It was, after all, his curse.

"I promise dearie, I had no idea Miss Swan was connected to curse this way." Gold defended, voice controlled, unwilling to be blamed for the present situation.

"So how do I fix it? What kin-d of Savior do we nee-d this time?" Emma asked, her voice remaining quiet, dejected; her guilt that she caused the town pain apparent. She didn't care as to why just how they now fixed it so her wife didn't have to spend every night fighting the worst foes imaginable.

"You don't actually need to do anything. The rift is already starting to heal, just because you are here. It will take time, but it will all go back to normal," Belle assured, surprising everyone.

"So I stay here, the town gets better and it will heal faster the strong-er I am?" Emma wondered, looking at each person in turn to garner if they deduced the same thing. She didn't have confidence in her ability to understand complex things any longer.

"Yes, we believe so, dearie," Gold answered for his wife.

"W-hat about when I die? What will happ-en then?" Emma asked, finally getting to the point that everyone else had already reached. Without Emma, the town would eventually be overtaken by darkness.

"It doesn't say anything about that, or how to close the rift permanently," Belle confirmed, handing copies of the translation to each hero now she had had the opportunity to explain its meaning.

"We have many years to work that out, okay? We will figure something out sweetheart, we always do," Snow soothed, stroking her daughter's hair, unable to be more than a foot from her daughter any longer.

"And you will figure it out," Regina seethed, staring directly at Gold. "My wife is not a pawn in your game. You will find a loophole. It's what Rumpelstiltskin is good at." He merely gave a slight nod in return. He would try, it was in his best interests, and everyone knew that.

"Well, how was it fixed in the Enchanted Forest all those years ago?" David asked confused, unfazed by Regina's increased anger. He hoped Belle already had the answers to help him protect his daughter.

"The Enchanted Forest has a balance of light and dark magic that keeps the rifts between the realms stable. There must have been a rise in light to balance the overwhelming dark when that happened. Other products of True Love perhaps. It also wasn't a land created in a curse, so the same rules don't apply. However, those texts have unfortunately been lost to history. So, I'm just speculating," Belle offered.

"Okay. Once a Savior, al-ways a Savior," Emma mumbled as she turned to leave the library. The remaining occupants exchanged worried looks.

"You'd better be right about this," Regina remarked directly at Belle as she made to follow.

Regina stood in the door frame of the library watching Emma, who seemed to be gazing up and down Main Street as she sat alone outside. In this moment, she regretted that in their haste to attend the meeting she did not transport Baxter with them. She took a deep breath, suppressing her own guilt at casting the curse to start with before approaching.

"It's okay, darling. We'll find the answers. Heroes always win," Regina said, trying to offer some comfort.

"I want to re-member this. My ver-sion," Emma articulated, expressionless.

Regina reached into the back of the wheelchair to retrieve the iPad and handed it to Emma. She crouched in front of her, staring intently for any kind of sign as to what her wife was thinking. She could sense it, though; all the happiness that filled Emma's heart earlier had been overwhelmed.

Emma didn't try to hide her thoughts as she typed; she knew Regina would respect her privacy. They weren't explained or well-defined, but they were hers.

_I'm still a pawn in their game. My magic keeps the darkness away. I can never leave Storybrooke. If I die, the town dies._


	21. Unspoken Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing as "Room for One" was so well received, I did it again! Regina's thoughts are in italics in this chapter. This chapter deals with themes of declining mental health, so if that's a trigger for you, please don't read this. Another warning – I cried, you might not, but I did ;( So… Enjoy!

"I need your help. Emma won't talk to me. She's sleeping more, eating less; I don't know how to help her." _I don't know why he is looking so shocked. I'm not going to wait for an invitation to enter his office when it's about Emma's well-being. I at least told him I was coming, what more could the Cricket want?_

"Regina, please come in."  _Get on with it. How are you going to help me help Emma?_  "You know I can't betray patient confidentiality; I can't discuss Emma directly. But why don't you sit for a minute and tell me how you're doing? It's been a while since you have come in for a session."  _Is he indicating the couch? I'm not sure what part of my demeanor is suggesting I'm here for a conversation about myself._   _Does he really believe I'm going to divulge my inner thoughts on my marriage? Insanity. Let's get back to the point._

"I've talked to Dr. Phillips about adjusting her medications. Her anxiety attacks are more frequent, she's crying all the time, but you have to help her more too. Your sessions seem to make her happier for an hour or so, before regressing. You need to make her talk to me."  _That sounded satisfactorily intimidating. He has to understand that s_ h _e wakes up like this, she doesn't even need to remember anymore. That moment, that fleeting moment of bliss we get together every day is gone. I want that back. I want to see Emma smile again._

"I can certainly increase the number of sessions I have with Emma, but I can't pressure her into talking to you; only encourage it."  _He's indicating the couch again._  "Why don't you tell me how things have been, for you, since she came home? How are your nightmares now?"

"I'm not here to discuss me. I am fine. It's Emma who is struggling."  _Does this idiot have a hearing problem? Maybe he's not the person to help her. If it weren't for the magic of the curse setting her fully down this path I'd take her back to the facility. They at least seemed to understand her. But if she talks about The Magical Well of Evil, they'll have her committed and she needs to talk about it. How manipulated she feels. At least, I assume that's what started this._

"So you're sleeping now?"  _Back to me. Fine. I'll play to appease him quickly, assure him I'm fine, then maybe he will focus on my wife._

"I was."  _Think before you speak! Now he'll ask why I'm not anymore; you used to be better at this. I'm not telling him it's because I'm terrified for my wife. There they are, those leading, questioning eyes._ "Emma doesn't sleep well, even with aids. She tosses and turns; it keeps me awake."  _Good, now he should talk about Emma's poor sleep pattern._

"Didn't you just say she was sleeping more?"  _Damn. Backtrack._

"She's sleeping more, but with diminished quality. She doesn't want to get out of bed."  _There, that should mollify him._

"When did she stop sleeping well? She didn't mention it when I saw her yesterday."  _Did he sense my lie? Am I that transparent? No, you're overanalyzing; he's asking about Emma. Good, he's on point._

"Since we learned about how the town's safety is tied to her."  _Did I really need to spell this out for him? He really is useless. What else can he not calculate for himself?_

"And before that, how did you sleep?"  _Why are we back to me? I just told you Emma isn't sleeping well, she's not eating and crying. How are my sleeping habits relevant? Why aren't you concerned about her?_

"I slept perfectly well. I'm here to talk about Emma, not me. What can I do?"  _Enough. I am fine, my wife is not. I can't let things get worse for her._

"Why do you think that was? Why did having Emma home stop the nightmares?"  _Because she has the light magic that quells the darkness. She's an antidote for my own suffering. I want to be the same for her._

"Well, when I woke up I could see she wasn't dead."  _This is getting ridiculous._ "Can you please focus? What can I do for Emma? I thought the worst was over, but it's not. You know her history, we have to be ahead of this."  _I can see it happening right in front of me. She's withdrawing._

"Regina, you talking to me is helping Emma. Surely I've earned your trust? You know I've never divulged anything we've discussed, as I won't with Emma. You can give me a better sense of your home life than she can. The tension you're transmitting, she can feel that."  _Am I transmitting tension? Well, that's because you keep digressing. I've been here five minutes and all you've done is say you'll see her more._ "Tell me, honestly, why do you think the nightmares stopped after Emma came home? You had them when you spent nights with Emma at the rehab center, it's not simply proximity."

_Just sit, make it look like you're thinking, searching._ "I told you, she's right there, every night. My subconscious can sense it, so it has less effect. I don't have a better answer than that."  _He's doing that silence thing where I have to talk. Well, I'm not playing, I will just remain silent. Ha I won. I can see him thinking of his next question._

"Regina… why don't you tell me what you're really feeling, about what Belle found out?"  _I feel guilty, I always do. Her entire existence is manipulated because of me. Any time she talks about her childhood, how she didn't know what it was like to be loved - it's all my fault. I got past it, with her help. She forgave me, but now, with this, it's like we can literally never escape it. She feels trapped, trapped here in Storybrooke, in our life._

"I feel there is work to be done to find a solution."  _I have no idea how to fix this. Emma can tell I don't have answers. She sees me working on it all day, every day, to no avail._

"That's not an answer." _I think you'll find it emphatically was. It just wasn't the emotional one you were expecting._

"If we don't start talking about how I can help Emma at home, then I am leaving."  _This was a waste of time. At least Phillips took me seriously. He's not complying. Get off the couch._

"Then tell me about Emma."  _Oh, the threat of leaving worked. Interesting_. "Have there been other behavioral changes other than sleeping and loss of appetite? Doesn't Emma have days that are like that?"  _Am I betraying her by talking about this? I wouldn't want her in here saying these things about me._ "I can't help her effectively if I don't know what she is experiencing. She can't tell me."  _He has a point. Emma can't tell him. It's why you came here. To talk about Emma. She needs help._

"It's not her having a bad day. She knows how to do things, she choosing not to. She's stopped painting. She won't play with her puzzle or with Baxter. She won't watch baseball. She doesn't laugh at her sitcoms. Her family and I – we've tried everything we can think of, but she hasn't smiled since we learned about the Well."  _Well, that was blunt and direct. He's taking me seriously now, making notes. That means this is bad. He hasn't been able to ascertain any of this from her._

"And she won't talk to you about it? What she's been thinking about since receiving the news?"  _No, Emma doesn't talk to me anymore, barely even casual conversation. She flinches away from me when I try to hold her. When she does let me embrace her, she cries. Our marriage was starting to really reform, we were finding our new normal. I believed that things would just keep getting better for us. But I was wrong. There's always something else and I don't know how to help her this time. I want to just shake her out of it. Shout at her, tell her to just cheer up. But she's not choosing this. She's sick and I can't help; I can't make it better._

"No."

"Why?"  _Surely this is a question you should ask her? Oh, he wants an actual answer from me this time._

"I don't know why. That night, it was like a switch. Now, she doesn't talk much. She spends most of her awake time staring out the window or watching TV."  _He's concerned. What do they talk about here if this is all new information to him?_ "Do you and Emma actually talk? You seem clueless about your patient."

"I can't answer that Regina. How was she before learning how she is connected to the town, from your perspective?"  _Little smug bug._

"The opposite."  _Surely that was obvious? I don't like this. I should bring Emma here, so I could say these things in front of her. This feels like a betrayal. You're not gossiping, you're making sure she gets the right treatment. That's all this is._

"How was your relationship? Were you communicating?"  _Seriously? They must have talked about this. Is he getting my version for comparison?_

"Yes, things were going well. We had a routine; it wasn't perfect, but it was working. We were getting closer, back to how things used to be before the accident."  _Emma was beginning to let me be her wife again. And she was trying so hard to act like mine._

"You were intimate?"  _How does he have the audacity to ask me that question? My glare isn't making him quiver. When did I become so soft?_

"I am not talking about my sex life. I'm not sure how this is relevant"  _Not that there is much to discuss. How many times have we been so frustratingly close then Emma says no? She tries for dominance, gets downhearted that she can't control the situation the way she used to. I often can't even let it get that far now. I can't handle the frustration. I make up excuses, say we will have sex later because the rejection just reminds me how much things have changed._

"Emma doesn't paint the same picture of your life."  _Oh, so they do talk, but she lies to him? Or things seem healthier to her?_ "The better I can understand her issues, the more I can help her. It's also clear that you need to talk about this. Doing so will help you both."  _He can't be serious_ , _I am not here for a personal session._

"How is our sex life pertinent to Emma's feelings of her life being manipulated?"  _It's the Well that did this, issues of who she is, her destiny, not our problems in the bedroom. They existed long before this._

"You think that is the root of Emma's condition, simply feeling manipulated?"

"Of course. What else could it be? She was fine, then this happened."

"Was Emma fine? Were you having sex?"  _No. Emma wasn't fine. We weren't fine. Our love for each other was keeping us going but there is a distance between us. But shouldn't there be? We haven't lived together in months. Neither of us have careers anymore. Everything is different. Would it help her for him to know? Would she talk to him about it? Make her address her fears so we can be together as lovers again? I crave Emma. Am I just being selfish?_

"No, we weren't."  _Please have been the right thing to do._

"Why?"  _That's enough. He has the thread to pull on with her. I don't have issues here, I don't need to scrutinize this._

"I've told you, I'm not discussing the details of our private life."  _Hmm, my tone was wonderfully definitive. Excellent._

"Do you want to have sex with Emma, or are you struggling with her disabilities? Do you see her differently now?"

"How can you even have the audacity to ask me that? I love my wife with my whole heart. I don't see her as disabled and I'm offended that you referred to her that way."  _He forgets that I can crush him, or let the next monster that comes out of the Well take care of him._

"She is disabled Regina. Not only that, but Emma needs someone to take care of her for the rest of her life."

"I am aware."  _Does he think I don't know this? That I don't see her every day? How much she needs someone? How scared I am when she's alone?_  "But I don't associate that word with her and you shouldn't either."  _One day I am going to have to accept it. Emma will never be the same. Emma is disabled. She can't walk, she can't remember yesterday._   _But she's strong and capable._

"So it would be safe to assume that your lack of… intimacy, is not of your choosing?"  _Naturally. Have you seen how amazingly beautiful my wife is? And all that PT… let's just say her physique has not suffered. She is desirable in every possible way. No, my attraction for Emma is overwhelming at times. Don't get distracted. Answer his question._

"That would be correct."  _We have to get off this topic. It's too personal for me to be discussing behind her back like this._ "That's all I'll say on the subject. Now, what can I do to help her?"

"If Emma is genuinely depressed-"

"She is."  _Did he not hear everything I have told him?_

"-then all you can do is what you are doing. Be there and make sure she keeps getting professional help."  _If this is all he had to offer, why did he make me sit down and talk to him? I could have been home already._

"There has to be something else I can do. I can't let her live like this. Not even for another day. She doesn't deserve to suffer."  _I don't even care if it sounds like I am begging to the Cricket. He has to understand. I'm desperate. I don't know what to do this time._

"Bring Emma here after physical therapy tomorrow. I'm sure I can convince Leroy to move his appointment. But I think we should talk about you, Regina. How do you see your future?"

"My future?"  _Is he dragging this out so he will get paid for a session rather than free friendly advice?_

"Are you going to run for Mayor? I heard there is to be an election of sorts."  _He's acting casual. I'm not sure what his game is here. The question seems innocent. But does he really think I can focus on tomorrow when today needs so much attention? I'm practically in crisis mode._

"Emma wanted me to, but now… I can't fathom leaving her all day to go to the office."  _Others can be Mayor. No one else can look after Emma the way I can._

"You're frightened to leave Emma alone? Who is with her now?"  _I showed too much. Maybe that's good. If he can sense my concern, he'll be more proactive. The fact that I came here should be indicative enough._

"Snow. Are you saying there is nothing else I can do for her? Nothing I can say to make this easier?" _I could just put her under a spell, but I'd never do that. As soon as it was broken, she'd feel the same and never forgive me._

"Emma will need to work through her problems. Keep trying to get her to talk, but don't force it. Break her ruminating cycle any way you can. Give her something else to think about."

"That's what Baxter does."  _It isn't working anymore._

"How do you feel about Baxter?"  _That's a loaded question. Half of me adores him, loves how he is there for Emma and lets her have her independence. That's unquestionable. The other half of me resents him. When she reaches for him and not me. At night she automatically settles with him, rejecting me. I thought it was just a learned behavior that she literally can't control, but now I don't know. He keeps her from me._

"He's invaluable. He's family." _Maintain eye contact, sell it. Don't let him see that Emma's relationship with Baxter hurts you. He's a dog. A dog you got for her._

"Does it bother you if Emma seeks comfort in him and not you?"  _Am I an open book? It was probably the long pause before answering that gave you away._

"No. It's important that Emma has more than just me in her life. He allows her greater independence. I really must get going. I told Snow I wouldn't be long. She has to get home for Neal."  _We're not discussing this. He has no real advice anyway._

"Regina, I think you should come see on a weekly basis. You need to process how much your life has changed too. It will be best for you both."

"Please just focus on Emma. I can take care of myself." _If she's okay, I will be._

* * *

"Hi, darling."  _She didn't flinch, that's progress. She's letting me rest my hand on her thigh. How far should I push this?_  "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." _That isn't even remotely believable. But words, this is an improvement_.

"I brought you a bear claw if you want it?"  _Please eat it, please. I don't care if this diabetic coma is all you eat today, at least you will have eaten something._

"I'm not hun-gry, I t-hink I ate earlier."  _She's searching, she doesn't really remember, but she didn't; Snow said she wouldn't. She needs proper sleep, she needs to eat._  "T-hanks though."  _You could thank me by eating it. What is she watching? Looks like some cop show, I don't recognize it. From the looks of it, she isn't following. She's letting me stroke her hair. This shouldn't feel strained but it does._

"Do you want to watch something else?"  _Baxter is giving me that 'leave her alone' look. How does he know what she needs and I don't? I can feel her. She's agonizingly miserable. I want to fix this, I want there to be something I can build or buy to make this easier. I'm so useless to her right now and yet he knows._

"Mom w-ent home right?"  _This just happened Emma, you just hugged her._

"Yes, she left a few minutes ago when I came home. Do you want me to call her, ask her to come back?"  _She does seem better than when I left, maybe anyone in the world but me is good for her right now. Maybe it's the tension that I'm emitting that Archie mentioned?_

"No."  _She's crinkling her forehead, processing. What is she thinking about? It's taking forever. Did she forget what we were talking about? Should I wait? Say something?_  "I-I can't be left alone can I?"  _She's so sad, despondent puppy eyes. What's the best method I've used to move her past this?_

"You can darling. You're independent. I can show you if you like? Through magic."  _Was that almost a smile?_   _This always works. I can't believe she is agreeing to this, though._ "Take my hand. Okay, now relax and let our magic mix."

_Show her the other morning when she was getting ready. Let's start in the shower; squeezing her shampoo onto her thigh before scooping it up in her hand after replacing the bottle. She can feel my pride and love as I watched. She asks Alexa how to brush her hair; Baxter hands her the iPad. It's a little fuzzy because I'm sorting the laundry, but she should be able to see herself following the directions and successfully styling her long locks. Hopefully, she can sense how impressed I am. I can't even do that._

_Follow to the closet next, choosing her outfit for the day. Baxter reminded her about socks, but she got the rest. Make sure she can appreciate the expression on her face as she wriggles her knickers and then pants on. She's having fun with it. There was even a gentle giggle. Now the bra, this is just genius. She fastens the clasps, pulls the whole thing over her head, drags her left arm through and lowers the whole thing to her waist, before pulling her left arm through the strap and fixing its position, before doing the same with the right. A quick adjustment of the straps and she's all set. It's so complicated and yet she can do it._

_Feel my happiness at this Emma, sense how much I love, respect and admire you. Yes, there, I feel you feeling happy. No, stay in this place with me darling, I'm starting to feel your misery, anguish, despair, hopelessness, isolation. Emma stop this pain, it's crippling. I can't handle this it's too much… I can't think of anything other than how much I hate myself, how nothing is how I hoped it would be… your magic is stronger than mine… I can't control what you're seeing…_

_Bath, bathroom floor, blue face, foam - fear. Hospital, resuscitation - desolation. Henry kissing her forehead, his tear stained face - sorrow. Seizure, hand on the glass, searching for the Savior's light, her parents collapsing to the floor – grief. Dr. Smith lifting her arms, paralysis – empathy. Staring at her, eyes unmoving – dread. Her face covered in blood, unconscious – guilt. Feeding red Jell-O, instructions – compassion. Smashing her hand into her head, force – concern. Withdrawing from a passionate kiss, body turned away – rejection. The rings being handed back, standing at the door – devastation._

_What was that? Did Emma just see and feel all of those memories? They were raw; present. I can't feel her, we're not touching. Deep breaths. It was the past. She is fine now, open your eyes. Emma's are wide; she's horrified. Her anxiety is building. Baxter is whining; he's licking her face. She's staring at me. I don't think she has blinked._

"Emma."  _Reach for her, but don't spook her. Process feeling all that again later. Focus on Emma._

"I-I-I d-didn't m-mean t-ooo, I-"  _She can barely speak. She thinks I'm mad at her for the intrusion? No, she's traumatized._

"It's okay, I know it was a mistake. You didn't mean to take my memories like that. You shouldn't have seen any of that"  _Do I sound reassuring, covering all the bases? I don't blame her, but I'm angry she saw all of that._  "Emma talk to me, tell me what you're thinking."  _I hate that I don't just know anymore. I used to be good at this. Just looking at her and I would know._

_Please, Emma, right now you look like you're about to explode; you haven't moved. You're crying, I'm crying. I'm feeling everything. She must be feeling the same, but it's the first time for her, without context. Maybe I'll inch towards her, touch her hand, try to ground her here in this moment with me. She flinched, not the right call. Please, Emma, I need to hug you right now. I need to feel that you're real; that you're still here, because it feels like you just died in front of me. That you just asked me to leave you. I just felt some of the pain you're in. It's inconsolable, but let me try; let us just be there for each other._

"Please Emma, please let me touch you. We don't have to talk or anything else. Please let me hold your hand."  _Meet her halfway. Oh, now she learns to poof._

"Very helpful, Emma. Very helpful."  _An empty chair, so she's immobile somewhere. She wanted to get away from me, do I go after her? Could she have gone far? He's barking, front door, he wants out. So she's close. I'll follow slowly, make sure she's okay and give her space for a few minutes. His barking is louder now I've let him out. If he's worried, I definitely should be. The bug, she's sitting in the bug, banging her head on the window. Magic to the passenger's seat. Alright, grab her hand that she's smashing into the wheel, put your other between her head and the door._

"Emma stop."  _That probably won't work, I doubt she can really hear me. She needs the physical pain to distract her from the emotional. That's how she described it months ago, I assume this is the same. At least she can't hurt herself now and I have a form of a hug that I needed. Don't be selfish. The despair is radiating off of her. It's all-consuming. She's shaking in my arms. Am I making it worse by holding you? I'm so sorry that you saw all of that Emma, I really am. She not calming. She's stronger than me when she's like this; she's going to hurt herself here. Bedroom, a mattress, and pillows is a good environment for her to smash herself into. Baxter will find us there. This was a good idea. Kick the mattress as much as you want, or me, that's fine. But I'm not giving you your hand back. Sorry darling. I have to protect us from your impending magical explosion._

"I-I d-didn't m-mean-n t-t-ooo, I-I d-did -dn't m-me-ean-n t-t-ooo."  _Her words even less comprehensible than usual; she's struggling to breathe. She's practically screaming._

"It's okay darling, I'm right here."  _Am I even saying the right things? What will help here? I can't move, she'll hurt herself. She's not accepting my magic. "_ Let our magic connect Emma, it will help."  _What else can I do? Nothing, keep her hand, keep extinguishing her magic. Keep try to send her comfort, even a little will help._

"No, no, no, no-"  _She thinks she will see more, feel more. No one would want to feel that again. We're just going to have to wait this out. I wish she would stop trying to thrash; that I could just make this better. I'm not sure my grip can contain her magic much longer. Please stop Emma, please realize you're not alone, how much I love you, that I'm right here, holding you. What else can I do? Cast a spell? No. You will not use magic on Emma._

"Okay, no magic, I promise."  _Good, I can hear Baxter's paws, he's inbound. Maybe together we can break this quicker. Do your thing. Help her stop. Good boy, sitting on her legs, she won't hurt you. She seems calmer instantly. I know I resent you sometimes, but she needs you, I need you. Thank you for being perfect and loving her as much as you do. That's it darling, just relax. Breathe._

"I-I'm s-sor-rry, I-I'mmm s-oooo s-sor-rry."  _Good, she's getting air._

"It was a mistake. It's okay, you didn't mean to see those memories, I know that. I could feel it."  _Believe me Emma._ "It was just your emotions, you never have been good at controlling them when it comes to magic - it's why you have such power _." Should I tell her what I felt from her? Would it help to know that the intrusion had been both ways? Does she realize that? Will it make it worse? I used to know exactly what to say and do. I'm terrified I'll make this worse._

"I'm s-sorry, I-I'm so-rry, I'm so-rry. I'm so-rry for dr-own-ing. For do-ing all of this. For all the pain I caus-ed."  _I'm sorry for using magic, for not being here to save you sooner._

"Emma, it was an accident. You have nothing to apologize for. We're here together, and that's all that matters to me. That I can hold you and talk to you. I can still look to my future and it's filled with you. It's all I want. It was hard for everyone, including you. You're still suffering and I just want to help make things better for you, so please talk to me. I know it will hurt, but it can't be worse than what you already feel."

_She's thinking. Is she listening to what I'm saying? Will she ever understand how much I love her? How much it hurts me to see her suffer like this? How much pain she brings me by shutting me out?_

"Whatever you say, it can't hurt me. It can't be worse than what I am already imagining."  _Please don't be as bad as I think. Please don't have gotten that low and I didn't prevent it, that I couldn't make it easier this time. She's shifting, she's going to talk to me. She's trying to roll over but she can't, well I can. There, face to face; she's reaching for me, she's holding me. She wants me, needs me. Those eyes, she's scared. When did my wife become so scared to tell me something?_

"I promise darling, it's okay, just tell me what you're thinking."  _If she holds my arm tighter her nails are going to leave marks. She's shaking, she's petrified of the truth. Don't show her your fear. Keep calm, let her feel like this is a safe place. She's not flinching; she's letting me stroke her back. Just stay quiet, let her think. You know she wants to tell you. Play the game, let her call the shots. She's barely crying now, she's still._

"I… I wish I had died. And I-I feel guilty that I do."  _Her words were slow, controlled, and deliberate. Making sure I'm not mistaken. Her eyes are pleading. You have to get this right. You can't fuck this moment up._

"Thank you for being honest."  _I don't know what else to say. Just stay close, show her that it hasn't changed anything. Is her guilt about the town? About how it would hurt me? Does this mean she doesn't love me enough? She wishes she had died rather than be here with me._

"I'm so-rry, I'm s-oo so-rry I fe-eel like this. I know you've d-done everyth-ing to m-make this bett-er for me. I can't m-make it stop, I can't-"

"Shh, it's okay, it's all going to be okay."  _Even I don't believe these words. I don't know how to fix this. I can't build a ramp and things will be easier. All I can do is hold her. This isn't enough, I need to do more. Is this just because she feels manipulated? Or is it everything that has happened?_   _Because in every way she feels her life has been taken from her?_ "Nothing has changed. I love you, Emma. Nothing will ever diminish that. You're my heart and soul."

"I'm so-rry, I'm so so-rry."  _Please stop crying. It kills me every time you do. You never used to cry and now it's all you do. Don't get frustrated, be supportive. Connect our foreheads. There, closer than before._  "I l-love you, Re-gina, I real-ly love you. I don't w-ant t-to be like this."

"And I love you, darling."  _She's searching my eyes, using her lie detector. It's impossible for me to fail._

"I hurt you."  _It's not a question. She's focusing on the conversation now. I might not be able to read her, but she can read me. Refute it._

"You didn't, it was already what I assumed you were thinking."  _I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't. I have no idea what I should do with this information. I can't process that you'd wish for anything other than to be here with me._

"No, be-fore, in the mem-ory. When I gave you the r-ings back. I don't re-member do-ing that, or why."  _Emma, your eyes are killing me. I've never seen this level of sorrow and guilt from you before._

"Yes, it was painful, but it's in the past."  _It was the most excruciating experience of my life, being rejected by you. I thought you'd never hurt me and you did, purposefully. I've never felt anything like that before. Right now you must understand that. You just felt it. It's as close as I've ever gotten to feeling what you are now._

"I don't want to live with-out you, I can't. I bare-ly can now and you're right here. I'm not str-ong enough to do this again with-out you."  _I needed to hear that because it feels like you don't want me sometimes. That night, that fight, it haunts me. I always wonder if it's how you really feel about me and us. Of all the things you just saw, that's the one you're thinking about. You really do love me._

"You are strong enough darling. I'm right here Emma. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. Just tell me when you feel like this and we will just lie here together until everything seems more manageable."  _Good, a nod. Remember this for next time, because there will be a next time. Just hold her. She's exhausted. If I can get her to sleep, those memories should fade. She won't have to feel my pain on top of her own. Rub circles on her temple. Her grip is too tight on my arm to ever move that, so one-handed it is. It's working, her eyes are already dropping._

"Why don't you close your eyes and I'll tell you a story, about a princess who grew up in the big city?"  _Show her a smile; that this revelation won't define our relationship from now on._

"I'm not f-ive."  _I got a smile and a little roll of the eyes. There's my Emma._

"Oh, this is an R-rated story, especially when she meets a queen."  _She let me kiss her lips; it was a reflex from us both. I'm distracting her. She's concentrating on me in the present._

"You're my qu-een."  _She hasn't said that to me in weeks. Did she really just need to confide in me to feel better? Why didn't she just do it before?_

"And you're my princess. Don't ever forget it."  _She's letting go of my hand; she wants more of me. She's trying to pull me closer, her hand on my back. She's letting me put mine on hers. We're finally holding each other. This is actually happening._

"I'll for-get what I saw if I sleep right? Is it okay if I for-get that I h-urt you?"  _She looks like she's going to start crying again. She's remembering the feeling._

"I hope so, no one should have to see themselves like that."  _Keep rubbing circles, it will help._

"D-did you for-give m-eee?"  _Her voice is so strained. She's struggling to just say these words, let alone hear my answer._

"I understand why you did it. I know that you were trying to make the hard decision for me. Some days I wonder if you meant any of the things you said, but you haven't given me any reason to believe that it wasn't just lies. I have forgiven you, but it still hurts sometimes. _" She would know if you lied, you had to be honest._ "It's the past Emma. Let's just try focusing on our future together for a little while."

"I'm sad that I won't re-member this. That I bare-ly re-member any-th-ing."  _I'm devastated that you won't remember the rest of our lives together. Completely heartbroken. I pretend it's fine, but it's not._

"Maybe this is a good day to just forget _." Good, you sold the playful response. Thank goodness. She doesn't need more guilt over things she cannot change._

"I want to re-member ev-ery mo-ment with you, good or bad."  _Don't break._

"Well luckily, we have magic, so we can share this moment any time. Though, I can think of better ones."  _One day we will be together completely again and that should make you so happy that you'd never forget it._

"When they said that all ma-gic comes with a pr-ice they were-n't kidd-ing."  _Humor? Emma made a joke?_   _There really is hope that she can get past this._

"Sleep my princess."  _Please, Emma, I can't handle much more right now._

"Can you just lie here with me?"  _That I can and want to do._

"Always."

_My life begins and ends with you; not Henry like it once did, but you darling. You are my sunshine, please don't take it away._


	22. The Darkness of the Light

"I thought the rift was healing?" David incredulously said as he helped Regina onto her feet from the wooded ground.

"I believe they sense their window is finally closing. The dark creatures will be trying everything to get through while they can. It looks as though that last one got a piece of you," Regina remarked as she saw a tiny trickle of blood seep from the four claw marks along David's torso. "Here, let me." Regina tried to focus her healing magic on eliminating the injury; the wound was after all, superficial. However, nothing happened, David's affliction remained intact.

"Little tired Madame Mayor?" David teased at her apparent ineptitude.

"Former, and no. It won't heal. Do you feel okay?" Regina asked, her concern growing.

"I'm fine," David confirmed with a small chuckle. Compared to some of the scrapes he had endured in his life, this was incidental. He hadn't even noticed that the creature's flailing claws had torn his clothes, a fact he was more annoyed about than his flesh. "Oh it looks like it got you too," David noted, beginning to sound serious as he processed the identical claw marks on Regina's forearm.

"Well, let's just hope it's because that deplorable animal is not from here, so my magic can't counteract its own. Otherwise, our wives are not going to be pleased if we managed to have permanent matching gaping flesh wounds," Regina jokingly expressed as she tried to use what remained of her shirt to cover the evidence to avoid alarming Emma on her return home.

"At least yours will forget," David scoffed, lightening the mood once more. Regina could do nothing more than roll her eyes in reply. "Got enough left to give the Well a little 'stay-away' juice?"

"Yes, its agility just tired me in a non-magical way. It was like the thing defied gravity," Regina mused as she walked closer to the Well, preparing herself to feel the intensity of the dark magic. Although its power was reduced, being close always felt like your soul was liquid-cooled; your ability for hope gone. The desire to seek vengeance was an all-consuming, unrelenting feeling. Regina's only method for counteracting it was to think of Emma; her smile, the way she used to flop into chairs. She raised her hands and expelled as much light magic as she had. Luckily, it was enough for her to feel the darkness recede, enabling her to overpower its alluring grasp. It was a practiced routine. David would keep his distance while Regina did this so he could continue to think clearly enough to guide her away and help her maintain her balance, if needed, until they arrived back at his SUV.

"What do you think when you do that? Like 'go, light magic, go!'? Or 'light-magic on!'?" David suggested innocently with his Charming smile ever-present.

"You've watched too many Hollywood super-hero movies," Regina quipped in response.

"Have you met your son? That's all he wants to watch, and Emma is no better." David closely monitored Regina's expression to see if it would flicker at the mention of his daughter's name. This was the only time Regina didn't perfectly wear her mask; when she had little strength left to expel in suppressing her micro-expressions. David didn't miss the little flinch, a slight cringe that now allowed him a pathway to talk about the Savior's well-being. Emma had long ago become the elephant in their nights tackling the darkness.

"And how is she?" David asked as he paused and forced Regina to look directly at him. He already knew the answer from how ragged Regina looked when he picked her up. Snow would report back with her assessment, but it was Regina's he wanted to hear.

"She's not worse. She painted yesterday and played fetch with Baxter this afternoon. However, that's not enough for me to say that she is, in fact, better." David nodded as he absorbed every syllable of the reply, grateful that they were all on the same side. That they had built trust and with it the ability to confide in one another. He knew Regina didn't have anyone to break down to, nor would she, but he wanted it to be clear he trusted and respected her. That he would willingly be that person if she needed him to be. "Let's just get home. That took longer than expected. They'll be worried."

"Snow is probably driving Emma nuts," David scoffed as he finally sheathed his sword, confirming tonight's battle was finally over.

"As long as she's not trying to cheer her up with another baking explosion I'll be happy," Regina teased, grateful David hadn't pushed her further for information he knew she wouldn't want to divulge.

* * *

"Where's Emma?" Regina barked, immediately alarmed that her wife wasn't with Snow who sat at the kitchen counter with a cup in her hand.

"She went to bed over an hour ago. I've checked on her a few times, she's sleeping," Snow replied despondently. She hadn't had the time with her daughter for which she had hoped. "She didn't talk. She hugged Baxter, cried a little, and pretended to watch some documentary about penguins. Henry tried to engage her, to no avail, then did his homework. He headed upstairs to 'mess around on his computer' when Emma went to bed," Snow relayed in anticipation of Regina's unasked question.

"What happened to you both? You were a long time. I was worried," Snow expressed as she embraced David.

"Just a few more things needing killing than usual," David reassured. "Nothing 'Queening' couldn't handle," he continued to jest.

"You did not just make up a ship name for you both," Snow remarked, disgusted, evidently unaware of the double meaning.

"No, not ship. It's our superhero crew name. I'm working on it. She rejected Evil Charming," David teased, raising his eyebrows in Regina's direction.

"Thank you for that, David," Regina exasperatingly expressed as she sought to end this meaningless banter. "Snow, he has a magical injury that I couldn't heal. Make sure he cleans and dresses it properly. I'll see you both tomorrow." Regina neither waited for a reply nor escorted her guests to the door. The mansion, at night, was as much their place as it was hers.

Regina had expected to find Emma sound asleep on her side, Baxter fully wrapped in her arms. Instead, Emma was hugging one of her pillows as she lay in the center. Baxter was seemingly forgotten as he slept at her feet. Pained green eyes twinkled in the light from the hall that Regina reluctantly let enter the room. Emma didn't even look as though she had been asleep. She appeared alert and focused.

"Hi," Emma said softly. "I missed you."

"I can see that," Regina chuckled, her smile wide, her feelings finally fully expressed. She hadn't seen Emma use a pillow for comfort since Baxter had entered their lives. It made her heart swell that she had chosen one that would unmistakably smell of her.

"Dad was hurt?" Emma inquired, suddenly controlling the track of the conversation away from their relationship.

"It's just a scratch. He will be fine. So, I have to add eavesdropping to your previous transgression of fake sleeping to this evening?" Regina playfully volleyed as she began removing her shoes and gathering her pajamas from the drawer.

"She just kept star-ing at me," Emma defended, feeling her actions were justified.

"I understand dear. I use sleep as a defense mechanism against Snow too. I simply prefer if she does the sleeping."

"Regina!"

"Sorry," Regina responded less than genuinely, a gentle giggle accompanying her statement.

"No, that's genius! Can you l-eave me the prick th-ing next time you have Mom here to babysit me? Dad can wake her up when you guys return from the Well," Emma threw back, suddenly excited at this available exit strategy from the forced mother-daughter time.

"I will not endorse the reckless use of sleeping curses, even if it is against Snow White," Regina tossed back, despite her momentary enjoyment at the thought. "And she's not here to babysit you. She wants to spend time with you. And she worries about David. He won't let her fight because of you and Neal, so this is what she does."

"Nice try. She used to f-ight. She's here to look after me."

"Emma-"

"No. I know you don't trust me to be alone. I've written it down tw-elve days in a row. You hover, she hovers, and Henry hovers. It's suffocat-ing," Emma replied, her voice growing quieter as she began to let her feelings come to the forefront of her mind, their playful repartee already forgotten.

"Emma, please. I do trust you, but we're worried about you and don't want you to have to suffer alone. Tonight, though, honestly, David and I thought we had it under control," Regina pleaded, desperate to return to only seconds earlier.

"Until someth-ing attacked you. I thought it was suppose-ed to be better now that I am home?" Emma wondered aloud, trying to remember everything she could about the Well.

"It is, the darkness is less intense than when you were away. We think the monstrosities are making final efforts to get through. As always we killed them. After blasting the Well with magic, it should take them a while before they try again. So are you actually tired? We can watch a movie or something for a while if you're not. Or talk?" Regina offered, eager to change the subject and hoping her last suggestion would be the one Emma would respond to. She missed not having more than the odd exchange that was longer than a collection of monosyllabic sounds. She was desperate to keep this one going.

"I want to help. I don't want to just sit at h-home and wait for you," Emma said sadly, her eyes showing the sorrow and guilt she felt over her incompetence.

"Emma, the Well is still powerful. It's not good for you right now. And if you use too much magic to help, you will give yourself a migraine. I'm not forbidding it, I simply rather wish you didn't," Regina said seriously as she finally sat next to her wife, who hadn't moved. "I can take care of this for us. You're still healing, and you should focus on that." Although Regina's voice was uneven, it firmly conveyed to Emma she didn't want to fight about this again. "It doesn't feel good out there Emma. The darkness is hard for me," Regina confided, hoping Emma would understand her insinuation.

"How about a magic-al hug of l-ight? Will that help?" Emma offered, trying her hardest to act happier than she felt while hiding her acceptance at her own vulnerability. She knew she had been increasingly distant, that it now felt awkward when they hugged, let alone anything more intimate.

"Always." As Emma reached for Regina's arm for leverage, she gripped the exact area the claw marks were imprinted on her flesh. "Oww," Regina uttered with a low groan and exhaled as she retracted her arm from her wife.

"W-hat, w-hat did I d-o?" Emma fearfully cried, assuming that like everything else, it was her fault. "I'm s-orry, I'm s-orry. I'm so s-o-rrry," she began to chant, already descending into an unhealthy period of internal self-hatred.

"Hey, it's okay, you didn't do anything. I just got a scratch from the beast tonight. I had forgotten about it actually. I'm fine. I promise," Regina tried to sooth, attempting to bring Emma close as she saw Emma's terrified eyes. "Emma, I'm fine darling, please look at me," Regina added slowly and definitively, hoping Emma would hear and accept her words.

"You're h-ur-tt. It's my f-fault; I di-d t-his." Emma's voice was breaking as she spoke, highlighting her rapidly changing emotional state.

"No, it was the creature and my general lack of agility and heightened reflexes. It's nothing. There was very little blood that has long since stopped beeding. I just need to clean it up and then we can relax together for a while, alright?" Regina had settled for awkwardly lying on top of Emma for reassurance, as the Savior had kept herself in a tight ball, rendering a proper hug or any other connection impossible.

"Can I-II help?" Emma all but whimpered. "I want to take care of you."

"Of course darling, I'll just get the first aid kit," Regina said relieved. Normally she would hide anything like this from Emma, but giving her this sense of power and control was worth exposing a little of her mortal vulnerability that had already been demonstrated.

"Magic. I meant magic it bet-ter," Emma commented, confused that Regina hadn't done it already.

"I tried to heal your father and me, but the wounds wouldn't close. I think because the creature had magic not from our land." The brilliant white light Emma instantly produced around her arm truncated Regina's recounting of previous events. It was so illuminating she couldn't stare directly at the process Emma was attempting to instigate.

"It didn't do anyth-ing," Emma noted despondently as her magic faded and she inspected Regina's arm. She was lost in complete confusion as if her brain couldn't process magic not healing something so minor. Regina reveled in the gentle touch Emma used to investigate the claw marks. It was like the surrounding area was being inspected with a feather.

"Well, the magic might not have healed this, but I feel a lot better. Your magic Emma… there's nothing like it in this world or any other." Regina momentarily forgot the current distance in their marriage and embraced her wife fully and forcefully, guiding her hand to the back of Emma's head to deepen it further. It was only seconds until Emma stopped responding to her touch. "Sorry," Regina offered as she withdrew.

"It's o-kay. I'm s-o-rry. I…" Emma stammered, physically incapable of actually explaining her actions. Emma's sudden lack of reciprocation had been growing in frequency and intensity. When Emma did seek human contact, it was always Regina. She was still where the Savior's heart lay and the queen knew it. Regina knew she had to be patient; Emma's path back to the woman she was would be a slow, meandering one. Regina wanted to be there every step of the way, no matter how much she suffered as a consequence. If lack of contact made Emma feel better, Regina would accept it every single time.

"You don't need to explain. I'll get the kit if you still want to help me wrap this." A small nod confirmed yes, although a fierce crinkle on Emma's forehead showed she was lost in deep contemplation and not with Regina in this moment any longer.

Regina tried several times to reach Emma, including mentioning her father's nickname for the pair, and the upcoming Mayoral elections that had previously instigated vigorous conversation from the former Sheriff. However, none of her attempts proved fruitful, Emma remained internalized to her thoughts. Regina sighed as she finally opened the kit and handed Emma the alcohol swabs she would need to clean each of the lacerations.

It was a silent dance that though unexpected, delivered an intimate moment Regina had craved. She watched as Emma slowly stopped thinking about her quandaries and focused completely on her wife. Emma's touch was delicate, and she instinctively recoiled with every wince Regina tried to suppress. The tenderness with which Emma applied the antibacterial ointment almost reduced Regina to tears, which she masked as experiencing pain. It was pain, just not physical in nature. Regina helped Emma get the bandage started and watched captivated by the concentration Emma required to wrap it around her forearm. Emma was determined to do this right, even if she needed guidance to do so.

"Does that f-eel bet-ter? Did I do it o-kay? I feel like I did it wrong," Emma asked as she held Regina's arm in a manner that suggested she was relinquishing control of the limb at last. Emma didn't realize it, but the process had taken close to an hour.

"It's perfect darling, thank you. It feels like it's healing already," Regina reassured, placing her free hand on Emma's thigh, smiling when Emma didn't recoil from her touch. "Why don't you update your journal, while I get ready for bed?" Regina suggested, hoping they could lie awake together for a little time if Emma finished early enough. She could already feel her eyes begin to droop. Between using magic, absorbing Emma's light, and now being caressed so tenderly while surrounded by love, she was equally exhausted and relaxed.

"Thank you," Emma replied with sad searching eyes.

"For what?" Regina asked, confused, as she placed the remaining supplies back in the box.

"Letting me remember that you were hurt. You trust me," Emma replied as if it were obvious to what she was referring.

"Of course darling. I always have and I always will."

* * *

Emma knew that even with the magical infusion she had provided, Regina would fall asleep quickly following the evening's slaying. For, on previous nights, Regina had passed out from magical exhaustion before her as she updated her iPad journal. Tonight had been no different, and Emma had waited for Regina's breathing to deepen and even out before acting. Emma wasn't confident in her plan, doubtful that it even made sense. Now, however, was the time. She knew that Regina would be angry with her, but she hoped that her actions would end this nightmare and thus diminish the repercussions. As far as she had read, Regina and David had never been injured by the creatures before. Yes, the damage was superficial, but the potential was there. On the second attempt, Emma found herself in her chair, successfully magically transporting herself the three feet without hearing Regina stir. She took her migraine pills and motioned for the curious Baxter to join her. Several seconds later, they were both staring at the Well.

Emma felt the intensity of the darkness instantly. It was so powerful; she almost forgot why she was there in the middle of the night in the terrifying moonlit forest. Baxter's whining helped Emma focus. Her positioning had thankfully been perfect; she could almost peer inside. The Well itself looked innocuous, completely banal. A layperson would never know this was where the realms were melding. Emma, however, could feel the instability, the presence of evil itself. With pure instinct, she raised her hand and waited for her magic to pour out of her. All she needed to instigate it was to think about Regina, protecting her wife and the magic flowed freely.

Everything seemed to be going as Emma had imagined; the heaviness of the darkness surrounding her heart was slightly lifted, exactly as Regina had described. This gave the Savior confidence that her actions were correct. Emma was conscious that she needed to preserve enough magic to get home undetected. She wanted to do this repeatedly until the threat was finally removed. Until her queen, her family, her town were safe. With such motivation, she stopped her magic seconds after feeling as though it were easier for her to breathe. Emma grinned at Baxter and lowered her hand, petting his head to calm him and herself simultaneously.

"I think we did okay. Don't you feel better?" Emma cooed, enjoying the warmth from Baxter's eyes. She was exhausted. She finally understood a little of what Regina felt each night as she lay beside her.

Emma knew she needed to get home before Regina noticed she was gone. Channeling the last piece of magic she had to do this felt overwhelming. She concentrated, determined for her Operation to remain a secret. Just as she thought of their kitchen, Emma heard the Well erupt and a blinding light rose up into the sky, higher than Emma could see. The noise was deafening; Emma couldn't hear her thoughts, let alone Baxter's bark. The blinding light receded as fast as it emerged, producing a thunderous boom as the Well swallowed it, causing the earth to shake as a forceful pulse emanated outwards from the Well's epicenter. All the trees in the surrounding area were relieved of their leaves, autumn turning to winter in an instant.

The force of the unquantified energy threw Emma, chair and all, hard against the nearest tree. Her wheelchair shattered on impact, but in doing so protected the occupant from being seriously hurt. Instead, Emma felt her ribs crack and was slightly dazed from her head hitting the soft earth ground. Baxter perfected his 'roll-over' trick as he landed next to her, instantly concerned for his master's well-being. As Emma's vision resolved, she focused on the Well, adjusting again to only having the moonlight for illumination, attempting to process what had happened. She briefly hoped that she had sealed the well for good; that she had achieved more than she had intended. The feeling of success receded rapidly.

As she stared at the stone structure before her, Emma became terrified as elongated fingers, complete with long, sharp claws, dripping with black oil, appeared over the rim. It was followed by another and another and another until heads appeared. Each had piercing yellow eyes which were the only bright element in the descending darkness. Their heads were large, teeth overhanging like a saber-toothed tiger. They began communicating with each other in a squealing, high-pitched tongue that continued to paralyze Emma with fear. She saw at least seven of these identical creatures close in on her position, their full stature exceeding seven feet and more were climbing their way out behind them.

Even Emma's brain could calculate there was nothing she could do offensively. She could open fire, but there were so many of them that she wouldn't last long before their claws would tear at her flesh. She didn't feel magic from them; they were simply creatures made from darkness itself. She needed to get out of here, needed to get more people with firepower; together they could kill them all. A gun would suffice. But she was unarmed. By the time Emma processed her options, two of the beings had closed the distance between them, one lowering themselves to her eye-level, searching Emma's green orbs. The creature tilted its head slightly from side-to-side as if it were sizing up the unknown before them. Its actions didn't indicate that they were scared of Emma, her magic, or her dog. Rather, they were curious. They chatted amongst themselves once more. Their speech continued with a foreign clicking, each phrase seemingly ending with a subtle hiss, petrifying Emma further.

Emma's fear and inability to think as logically as she once did rendered her completely immobile, the thought of magically removing herself from this situation fully forgotten. Instead, she watched as another approached, instantly feeling the dark magic from it. The leader. Its power was so strong that it must have come through in the second wave as the blonde hadn't sensed it immediately. Emma could hear voices, loud voices inside her head. Voices she didn't recognize. They were deafening and disorienting. Most were screaming. The creature placed its hand over Emma's heart, and she felt all the pain she had been enduring more acutely than ever before, in addition to the suffering of the thousands whose lives had been shortened by this creature's hand. Emma was sure she was going to die right here on the forest floor. She tried to think of Regina; she wanted her eyes, her smile to be the last thing she remembered. The Savior felt her breath quicken, a bitter taste form in her mouth. Baxter was shaking next to her, and she regretted bringing him. She hadn't expected this, that her magic would make things worse. She closed her eyes to accept her fate, hoping that no one else would lose their lives tonight; that her recklessness would one day be forgiven.

"EMMA!" The blonde managed to hear through the cacophony of voices. The voice was unmistakable, the tone of her wife. Along with hearing her name, she saw a bright light and the pressure on her chest alleviated instantly. She was able to take a deep breath and hear nothing but her thoughts. "Emma?" Regina repeated, suddenly crouched before her.

Emma looked around, dazed. She saw her dad run his sword through one of the creatures and her mother's arrow penetrate the eye of another. Hood and his Merry Men flanked the pair, causing the remaining beasts to scatter into the forest after their leader, whom Regina had magically stunned.

"Emma? Focus on me. Are you okay?" Regina pleaded while desperately healing the wounds she could immediately see.

"F-ff-ff-ine," Emma stammered as she tried to reach for her wife only to miss completely. The action left Regina terrified for her wife's actual physical and mental state.

"What is going on here?" Gold asked the instant he appeared by the Well, blasting a creature with his magic, showing his frustration.

"I t-tt-ried t-to h-help, w-with m-mmm-my m-mag-ic," Emma began to confess.

"It doesn't matter right now-" Regina tried to counter, an explanation wasn't required at this moment. Only healing Emma did.

"I think you'll find it does. Our former Savior just released unspeakable evil upon the town. Your magic is dangerous. Go home dearie, before you make things worse. Regina, blast the Well," Gold instructed before aiming more magic at an opponent that was starting to get the upper hand on David.

Regina unwillingly turned from Emma momentarily and used her magic to stop further creatures from appearing. Although the seven-foot beasts were the most obvious and numerous to penetrate the barrier, several other entities had emerged, unnoticed by the blonde. Amongst them there were the deep purple bat-like creatures they had faced before, along with several more of the magical beings Regina and David had fought only hours earlier. The unwelcomed visitors had dispersed in every direction, seeking a defensive position from the heroes. Regina had returned to Emma's side, and the pair sat alone by the Well as they heard screams from monsters and humans alike emanate from every direction. The battles, though, began to move towards the couple as the creatures sought the Well, Gold, and Regina; where the presence dark magic, thus power, was the strongest.

"Can you 'poof' to the loft? Henry and Neal are there. I put a protection spell on the place, but you can get through," Regina hurriedly asked as she healed Baxter's superficial abrasions from being pushed back by the pulse.

"Yes, I t-think so," Emma replied quietly, unable to mask even a morsel of the guilt she was feeling.

"Emma it's okay. We planned for this; we basically have an army. Look how fast we all got here. We will take care of these vermin," Regina tried to reassure, but Emma's despondency made it increasingly uneasy for Regina to believe Emma could transport herself safely to the loft.

"David!" The pair heard Snow scream, their battle getting ever closer.

"P-Please go help my p-parents. I can't have them get hurt too. I'm fine, hon-est-ly. I'll be fine. I have him," Emma said as she motioned toward Baxter who was doing a better job of coping with the night's events than either woman.

"I'll take you and come back," Regina said, desperate to ensure Emma was safe and not alone so she could concentrate on the battle.

"R-Ree-gina!" Emma cried, as she blasted bright light at the leader who had circled back seeking the strong magic both yielded. Regina turned and added her red-colored brand of magic, stunning the creature, providing the women with a few precious seconds. Emma felt her energy drain; she knew she didn't have much left. She could barely move; she was a liability. Her presence was going to get Regina killed.

"Come on," Regina said swiftly, assessing the consciousness level of their assailant as she went to grab Emma.

"I'll get us out of here. Please jus-t f-ocus and keep every-one safe. Includ-ing you. I love you and I'm-m S-o-rry. I-ll Al-ways be s-o-rry," Emma said, disappearing in a cloud of light smoke before Regina could even process her words.

Regina was about to transport herself to verify Emma's location when she felt a large hand slam into her chest, knocking her forcefully against the tree Emma had crashed into previously. Her vision was blurred; she saw the Charmings attack the creature from behind. An arrow from Snow's bow tore through its chest as David's sword decapitated the unsuspecting monster.

"Regina! Regina!" Snow called trying to rouse the brunette from her daze fully.

"Emma," Regina slurred.

"Where is she, Regina? Where is Emma?" David asked, his panic increasing as he searched for his daughter and only saw her destroyed wheelchair.

"Loft, I think," Regina managed to say before her brain was unable to process images. Her head felt light before she finally slumped into Snow's arms.

* * *

Emma didn't transport herself to the loft. She had no intention of doing so. Instead, she went home to their bedroom, specifically to her side of the bed. She sat and stared at Baxter, whose eyes demonstrated nothing but sorrow. Emma didn't even try to stop her disparaging thoughts. In fact, she was actively encouraging them: the blame, the guilt, the inability to forgive herself. People were probably dying. People were certainly hurt. She had done this. She thought she was the Savior; that her magic would cure this affliction that the town constantly faced. The danger her wife and father faced on a nightly basis. She had been wrong. All she ever did was make things worse. Worse for her parents, worse for Regina. Her presence was toxic, everything around her disintegrated. She made life hard and a constant struggle for everyone she loved.

She was trapped. Suffocating in a life from which she cannot escape, nor change.


	23. Honest Relief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with ever declining mental health. Please don't read this chapter if these themes are a trigger for you. Even if they're not, this chapter is hard going.

Regina saw the last creature from the Well fall dead to the forest floor after it was simultaneously hit with arrows from the bows of both Hood and Snow. Before it even hit the ground with a resounding thud, she turned to David who was breathing heavily beside her; his exhaustion from a long physical battle evident. In the early dawn light, she could see blood mixed with sweat coloring his hair and clothes. It was an image that was mirrored by all the victorious heroes.

"I'm going to the loft. I'll meet you both there," Regina said hurriedly, not waiting for a reply as she engulfed herself in a familiar cloud of purple smoke.

When Regina arrived, she had expected to find Emma, Henry, and Neal safely gathered in the living room, protected by her magic. Instead, she found Henry pacing anxiously, the blonde nowhere to be seen.

"Mom!" Henry exclaimed, embracing his mother tightly. "Where's Ma?" He asked as he realized she hadn't arrived alongside his other mother.

"She isn't here?" Regina asked, her concern evident.

"No, I called, but her phone is out of service. I assumed she was helping you. What even happened Mom? You look-"

"I'll explain later. Wait here for your grandparents, when they return the spell will be lifted," Regina fired as she once again traveled across the town instantly with the use of magic. She left a confused and slightly terrified Henry behind.

As soon as Regina landed in the mansion's living room, she felt relief as she sensed Emma's magic. The worst case scenario that she had played for several seconds had not come to pass. The respite was fleeting, though, as she began to feel crippled by the anguish emanating from the end of the corridor, where Emma undoubtedly was. Regina was tired; her clothes were ragged, and her body had received multiple afflictions throughout the battle. What she needed was a hot shower and twelve hours of rest. Standing here, though, Regina knew this wasn't her immediate future. Emma had been alone for hours, and Regina knew by the intensity of the suffering she felt, her wife was still awake. Regina allowed herself the minute she needed to calm and prepare herself; to suppress her own feelings momentarily. Whether Emma would admit it or not, she needed her wife. Someone to shout at, cry to, blame for everything that was wrong. She expected to find an exhausted blonde, full of guilt and self-hatred, whimpering into Baxter's fur.

Instead, she found Emma completely silent and still, laying on top of the covers. Baxter had his paws on Emma's thigh, staring at her desperately. Regina followed Emma's gaze to her nightstand, where her service weapon and envelopes with names neatly written with magic lay. The one addressed to Regina was propped up, dominant. Regina instantly felt as though the air had escaped from the room. Her brain was suddenly devoid of the capability to form thoughts. She closed the distance between them in only three strides, lowering herself to her knees as she stared directly into Emma's dry, unblinking eyes. She grasped Emma's hand in her right as she used her left to stroke her hair. Emma didn't even flinch.

"Emma?" Regina coaxed softly. "Emma?" She asked again, her voice starting to break as she began to comprehend how unresponsive her wife was. "Emma, darling, can you hear me?" Regina finally asked after several elongated seconds of unawareness came from Emma.

Regina was relieved they both shared magic at this moment. She could feel that Emma was physically strong; she hadn't injured herself in an unseeable way. All this did, though, was allow Regina to calm enough to feel; to appreciate how lost she would be without her wife, how inept she was at taking away her pain. Regina lowered her head and kissed Emma's temple before laying her forehead on the same spot and letting her tears flow. It was controlled grief, for she had enough restraint to prevent her emotions from outpouring as she was searching for the answers to what she should do next. It was as though Emma had no idea she was even there. Regina heard her phone ring and forced herself to her knees, her hand never letting go of the precious one it held.

"Mom?" Henry anxiously asked. He had waited as long as he could before making the call.

"Henry," Regina solemnly replied, unable to hide her emotional state from her son, despite her feeble attempt to do so.

"Mom?" Henry repeated, unable to ask the question he feared.

"She's home. She's safe," Regina quickly said, trying to ease his concerns. "Are your grandparents home yet?"

"Yes, they just walked in, why?"

"Ask them to come home with you. Don't panic, but just get here as soon as you can. I need help Henry," Regina confided as she continued to stare at Emma. She hadn't responded to the Charmings being summoned.

"Okay, we're on our way. Whatever it is, we will figure it out, Mom. Good always triumphs," Henry said confidently. He assumed Emma was crying, thrashing maybe. That this time his mother was too tired to really be there for Emma. Emma's struggle was the secret that everyone knew.

Regina tossed her phone aside and tried to process what she could of Emma's night, seeking clues on what the right course of action should be. In doing so, she met Baxter's eyes, whose eyebrows moved to convey that he tried. She had never seen a dog look so sad and tired. There was little doubt in Regina's mind that if Baxter hadn't been with Emma, she probably wouldn't be here now. Regina couldn't help but resign. She lowered her head onto her wife's hand that she was grasping so desperately and silently stared into Emma's eyes. With every blink, a tear fell onto their joined hands. Regina sat and waited. Help would arrive. Together, as a family, they could get through this.

"Regina?" Snow whispered into their darkened bedroom. She was unable to see her daughter's face and assumed she was merely sleeping. As Regina turned her head and Snow saw the tracks of her tears reflect the morning light, she repeated her question, this time louder and loaded with worry, "Regina?"

"Is David here?" Regina asked, her voice wavering.

"Yes," he replied as Regina saw his silhouette in the doorframe.

"David, I need you to take Emma's gun and hide it somewhere she would never think to look. I'll cloak it in magic later. Please refrain from bringing yours into this house for the time being too." As Regina spoke, she regained control and composure. She had her much-needed back-up; it gave her the strength she needed to navigate what had to be done.

When she saw how confused the Charmings were at her request, Regina shifted so they could see the weapon on the nightstand and Emma's letters in its background. Regina moved further so they could see their daughter. Appreciate that she was at least physically unharmed.

"Snow, can you run Emma a bath? I think getting out of these clothes and getting cleaned up will help," Regina softly spoke, trying desperately to hold it together finally.

"Okay," Snow weakly replied as she and David approached their daughter in unison. David took the gun, removing the magazine and the chambered bullet swiftly with expert hands. He then did the same to his own.

"I'll be back soon alright Ems?" he said as he leaned in, kissing his daughter's forehead before repeating the action to his wife.

Snow couldn't hold back her tears as he saw the letters and the apparent catatonic state her daughter had descended into. She was, however, capable of clearing her throat enough to speak concisely.

"Wild berry, that's your favorite right sweetheart?" Snow asked as she repeated Regina's initial action of kneeling in front of Emma to stare into her eyes.

"It is," Regina eventually replied for her wife once sufficient time had passed, demonstrating Emma wasn't going to respond. Despite the activity around her, she hadn't moved a muscle.

"Regina?" Snow asked, displaying all her concerns in two loaded syllables. "Should we take her to the hospital?"

"I don't know, Snow. I don't know. She's not physically weak; her magic is still strong. I honestly don't know what to do," Regina started to break as she looked between Snow and her wife.

"Okay, let's try this first. Wild berry it is," Snow confirmed as she left the couple to enter the master suite. It was only then, with the admittance of more light into the room that Regina saw Henry, Neal in his arms, staring silently at his mothers.

"She'll be okay Henry. Just keep Neal company while we get Emma ready for bed." Regina tried to sound authoritative. However, she had never spoken in a less certain manner in her life. Henry ignored his mother's request without contemplation and sat next to his ma's back. He sat Neal down, and he instantly began playing with his big sister's hair. The child loved Emma's long blonde locks. Henry performed a Baxter move and made as much of his body put pressure on Emma's back as possible, without it being a hug. He read that it helped to know someone was there, but fully embracing that person could be more troubling.

"I love you, Ma," was all Henry had to offer as everyone stayed silent, with only the distant filling bath as a soundtrack.

"Henry, please go and sit with Neal in the other room while your mother and I take care of Emma. If you can, please brush Baxter and clean his paws of the mud," Snow said repeating his mother's request, confirming it was non-negotiable.

Regina had had the time to recover from the initial shock of what her wife had contemplated and once only the women remained, spurred herself into action. She gently lifted Emma's ever decreasing frame easily into her arms, her personal fatigue and need of a shower long forgotten. She carried the blonde with more care and grace than ever before, resting her carefully on the toilet seat. She held her hands out to catch Emma if she was unable to hold herself upright and begin to fall. Emma seemingly remained unaware, her gaze as distant and vacant as ever, but she didn't even sway, her posture was intact.

"I'll change the sheets. Call me if you need help," Snow suggested as she saw Regina start to undress her wife.

"Help me lift her to get her pants off first," Regina sadly requested sas she appreciated Emma probably wouldn't be capable of lifting her own hips. Snow nodded and supported Emma under her arms as Regina tenderly removed Emma's pajamas. She couldn't contain her reflexive gasp as she saw the cuts and abrasions that covered her wife's legs. There had been many wounds Regina nor Emma had healed. As Snow carefully placed Emma back down, she sought to leave to give her daughter some sense of privacy. As she did, she tucked Regina's hair behind her ear and kissed the top of her head. No words needed to be spoken between the pair. They each understood the gravity of the situation, the pain each was suffering, and the emotional support they each needed.

When alone, Regina continued to remove Emma's socks and tattered pajama top delicately. She had tried to prepare herself to witness more physical damage on her wife's body but found herself stunned when she saw the bruising around Emma's ribs. Such damage told her they must be broken. That Emma must be in pain. Her emotional state was so extreme she couldn't even feel it. Regina simply couldn't heal broken bones; her healing magic wasn't that advanced.

She took a towel and wrapped it around her wife so she wouldn't get cold as she systematically healed anything she could, working head to toe. Emma never moved. Emma could have easily mended everything Regina did. She simply had chosen not to. With every ounce of magical energy she had left, Regina tried to heal her wife's ribs and could only be satisfied when some of the bruisings appeared to have eased.

"I'm sorry darling. I should have done a better job of healing you in the woods. I wish you had gone to the loft," Regina had to stop from berating her unquantifiably fragile wife. She had left their son alone after releasing a form of hell on the town. Regina was getting better at realizing that Emma physically couldn't think logically; between her mental state and brain damage, making any well-informed decision was effectively a near impossibility. The only positive effect of looking into Emma's empty eyes was to remind her of this and help suppress her desire to scream.

"Does that feel any better? I will try more on your ribs later when I've recharged a bit," Regina gently asked as she stared at Emma, hoping for some response. Any indication that she felt a little better; that she was helping. "I'm going to lift you into the bath now, just tell me if you're scared, or just want a shower instead." Regina hesitated, debating if this would turn into a further traumatic experience for Emma. She had had baths since the accident. Been in the pool at rehab, but this was different. Regina wasn't even sure which outcome she would prefer.

Regina removed her own top, not caring that in wearing only her bra Emma would see her wounds that she had not healed in her haste to return to her family. She now didn't have enough magic to heal them, like everything else at this moment, it would have to wait. She lifted Emma with care and precision, feeling the warm water wash over her aching arms as she slowly lowered her wife, waiting for a reflex that never came. Regina forced back the tears as she grabbed a washcloth and began to clean the mud, blood and hopefully, the despair from her wife. She managed to lose herself in the systematic nature of the job at hand, forgetting what she was actually doing and why. As she reached for the shower head to rinse Emma's bloody hair, she heard Snow approach and gasp at Regina's injuries.

"They're nothing Snow. I'll heal them when I have some strength. Can you bring me her plaid pajamas? They're in the third drawer, bottom left. And bring her fluffy purple socks," Regina asked, barely forfeiting any attention away from Emma.

"Will do. The bed is made. I'll put the sheets in the washer if that's okay?" Snow asked, trying hard to be the correct amount of helpful. She thought she could slightly overstep, for Regina had asked their assistance and unmistakably needed it.

"Please," Regina replied, barely listening as she poured shampoo into her palm. "Alright darling, I'll just wash your hair then it will be time for bed," Regina instructed, unaware she was mimicking what she had done months earlier as Emma lay in the ICU; vocalizing her actions so her wife wouldn't be scared or confused. Regina spent longer than needed lathering the shampoo; it was the only part of the morning so far that felt normal. They did this for each other as both found the gentle caressing of their scalps not only soothing but intimately relaxing. Regina wasn't looking for a quick fix. She just needed something from Emma, a twitch of the eye, a little reflexive action to her touch. Even tears would suffice. However, still nothing came, forcing Regina to question if she and the Charmings could handle this alone. As Regina let the conditioner set, she gathered towels, folded Emma's discarded clothes; whatever she could to keep busy. She struggled not to break down as she then rinsed Emma's hair, the tears she was holding back would have more than sufficiently done the job.

"Alright darling, I'm just going to lift you out now and get you dried off and then we will all get some rest. You'll feel better after some sleep." The only reason Regina was confident in her words was that she didn't think it was possible for Emma to feel worse. Once Emma was settled back on the toilet, wrapped in towels for warmth, Regina could feel Snow loitering.

"Thought you'd need help with her pants, and maybe drying her hair? I couldn't find her pills, are they in here?"

"Top shelf," Regina replied after waving her hand to reveal a secret medicine cabinet. She was grateful cloaking spells didn't require much magic to undo. Snow silently nodded as she processed that Regina had thought ahead to hide them from Emma. Regina made quick work of drying the broken blonde and placing the loose-fitting cotton top on. Snow repeated her previous actions to help Regina put on Emma's pants as though neither were concerned with Emma's behavior. Snow handed Regina Emma's pills for approval. She sighed realizing how many she needed to just keep going, just to function and it still wasn't enough. Regina sat with them in her hand as Snow held Emma's cup and had no idea how to make Emma take them, yet she needed them. Regina indicated to Snow to simply put the straw in her daughter's mouth.

"Drink for me darling," Regina all but begged. To the surprise of both women, Emma drank several mouthfuls, showing that she was undoubtedly dehydrated. "Okay, don't swallow some," Regina instructed, amazed Emma did as asked. After failing to take her medicine unassisted, it pained Regina as she finally had to put the pills in Emma's mouth and hold it closed so she would be forced to swallow. She even inspected the Savior's mouth afterward like she was an admitted patient.

"They'll help you feel better and get some sleep," Regina broke as she stared into Emma's eyes. She wanted to see rage and sense of mistrust. It's how her Emma would react to such an action. Yet, nothing. "Okay, so socks? Maybe your mom can help with your hair?" Regina less than subtly indicated to Snow as she tried desperately to not to falter, to stay strong enough to do this. As she placed the second fuzzy purple sock, she heard a light knock on the door.

"Come on in David," Snow replied, desperate for her own support system.

"I'll just go get changed," Regina announced leaving Emma with her parents. The Charmings didn't need to exchange words. David took Regina's place after rubbing a few circles into his wife's back for comfort.

"It's alright Ems. No one was hurt, just a few scrapes. We got all the bad guys. Think you got the worst of it honestly." David tried to reassure. "I definitely do not want to be on the wrong side of your wife again. That woman is badass when she gets in her battle groove. Learned a thing or two," he added, trying to bring a little light into the overwhelming darkness.

"It was sort of fun to let my archery skills run free," Snow added, hoping David's tactic would have some effect. Snow understood that Emma could hear and process words. She needed to understand that the battle was over, that the monsters were obliterated.

"Yes, your mother is badass too," David said, trying to use the warmth of his eyes to spark light into his daughter's. He looked to Snow for guidance, only to receive a defeated shrug as she continued to brush Emma's hair after thoroughly towel drying it.

"That'll do Snow," Regina said as she re-entered the room and used the back of her fingers to caress Emma's cheek. "Let's get her into bed."

"Let me," David instructed as he saw Regina go to lift Emma. She was already swaying from exhaustion as she crouched beside him. He concluded she was running on pure fumes.

"Careful with her left side, her ribs are badly bruised, maybe broken. Lie her on her side as she was earlier that must have been what was comfortable. In the middle, I want to lie next to her," Regina requested with her default royal air.

In a seemingly choreographed move, David lay Emma down as Snow gathered her locks in a fresh towel, while Regina placed pillows between her legs and under her arm. She settled next to her as David covered the pair in the oversized comforter. Regina was desperate to hold Emma, desperate to never let go. Instead, she settled for using her fingers to make circles in Emma's right palm. Regina was adamant that she wouldn't fall asleep before Emma, no matter how enticing and physically challenging that may prove to be. She heard Baxter approach and she stared into his sad eyes as he looked lost after jumping onto the bed. He analyzed his master's position as he paced, determining where he could be most effective. He eventually settled behind Emma, pushing his paws into her upper back and using his nose and tongue to stimulate her ear and neck.

Taking Baxter's cue, that contact might be helpful, Snow curled behind him and used her knees to apply pressure to her daughter's lower back. David rested his hand atop of the covers on Emma's left calf, leaving Henry to lie down and make their feet connect.

"We're all here for you darling. We always will be. Just try to rest," Regina implored, unable to prevent the tears from falling any longer. Regina could see it the second Emma's eyes begin to droop as the pharmaceuticals made sleep impossible to resist. She was fighting it, that was clear, but it was a losing battle. Just before her eyelids would close for a few hours, Emma's hand twitched to Regina's touch, and her eyes finally shifted gaze to look at her wife. Regina smiled as she tried to ease the sorrow Emma's soul was conveying. Baxter stopped his movements and rested his head in the nook of her neck. Together the pair finally slept.

No one spoke as they listened to Emma's breathing deepen and even out, the soundness of her sleep confirmed. Occasionally their gazes shifted to meet each other's eyes. However, most of their focus was just on the blonde, hoping that when she woke, it would all be a little better.

"Can I read mine?" Henry finally whispered. "I want to know what she said."

"No," Regina whispered forcefully. "They're Emma's. She can choose what to do with them."

"It's got my name on it. Think that means it's mine," he countered. His curiosity was just eating at him.

"No good will come from reading it Henry," Snow coaxed, understanding his viewpoint. "I didn't know what to do with them," Snow said turning to Regina.

"I'll return them to Emma when she's… functional," Regina confirmed.

"What is our plan here? Hope she forgets and is just a normal amount of depressed tomorrow? I may be just a kid, but I can see this isn't working for her. Her life," Henry said sadly.

"I don't think she will forget this," Regina replied. "It's too powerful. She remembers when we shared memories and the associated feelings a couple of weeks ago," Regina confessed.

"Which ones?" David whispered.

"When she handed me the rings back. She remembers how I felt," Regina tearily said as her desire to protect Emma became momentarily overwhelming.

"Ah, that explains a lot actually," Henry responded. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because some things in a marriage are private," David replied quickly sensing Regina's guilt.

"Why would you even show her that?" Henry asked dumbfounded, unwilling to relent on his questioning.

"I didn't mean to. I was showing Emma how independent she is and she started to control what she was seeing. She saw everything. I went with her to Archie and explained I had forgiven her long ago. She can't get over that she hurt me." Snow and David looked at one another, surprised how open Regina was being. The woman was evidently broken herself. She needed to talk about this, but in front of Henry wasn't ideal.

"She will get past this. She's a hero. She's my hero. We just need to find a way to help her see that, no matter how long it takes," Henry said defiantly, his voice masking the emotion his mannerisms expressed. He was convincing himself, everyone knew it. If the Truest Believer didn't really believe it, the rest knew it was highly improbable.

"Go to sleep Regina," Snow politely suggested. "Emma will need you when she wakes."

Regina stared at Emma's sleeping form. She needed Emma well. She needed the woman she loved to ask her about her day. To laugh with her at political satire. To teach her how to flip a pancake and catch it behind her back. To dance with her in the rain. To sing to her as they played piano together. To hold when it got dark. Thinking of the life she used to dream on she let her body control her mind and finally drifted to a restless, tense sleep.

* * *

When Regina woke, the early afternoon sun was creeping into their bedroom through the small crack in the curtains. She studied Emma's still sleeping face, noticing that she looked relaxed and calm. She wished Emma could always sleep like this. As she surveyed the room, she found everyone where she remembered them, except sound asleep. Regina carefully rose, trying to cause the least disturbance possible. She needed some time alone, time to think about what to do next. She dressed quickly, made herself a pot of strong coffee, which she grabbed in its entirety before sitting on the back porch with a perfect view of their apple tree.

A sense of time escaped Regina as she first healed her injuries as best she could. Some were obviously inflicted with magic and would have to heal naturally. The one Emma had bandaged earlier had already begun to heal, therefore, she doubted there would be lasting effects for anyone afflicted. She thought briefly about the Well, the creatures, which realm they may have been from. She checked her phone, getting an update from Belle that all was well, the town had more than survived. Such thoughts were fleeting, undeveloped, for Regina could do nothing other than think of Emma. How to help her, what she could do, how they were going to get through this, back to a time when she was content, when their love was enough.

"I wondered where the pot went," Snow said as she sat next to Regina.

"Emma-"

"Is still sleeping," Snow assured. "David won't leave, but someone needed to be fed and watered." As if on cue, Baxter came bouncing out the door and ran across the garden to his preferred spot. Snow paused, unsure on how to proceed with a somewhat normal conversation as the tension rose between the pair.

"I can't make her happy Snow," Regina surmised as she continued to stare ahead.

"Maybe not, but imagine how unhappy she would be without you," Snow replied after only a moment's pause while taking Regina's free hand and giving it a soft squeeze. It was then she actually looked at Regina and could see the redness around her eyes, the despondency she felt apparent.

"I tried so hard to prevent this. It's not enough. I'm not enough," Regina concluded, making it clear she had not absorbed Snow's previous words.

"Regina, this is not your fault. She's sick, and you got her treatment. She wasn't great, but she was okay until last night. Being near the Well, the intensity of the darkness, unleashing those creatures, I think that would be impossible to process for anyone. How about we just see how she is when she wakes?"

"The gun was at the Sheriff's station, Snow. I shouldn't have left her alone. I should have made sure she was safe; that she went back to the loft," Regina said as she searched her mind of how she could have acted differently.

"Emma is a grown woman; you can't control everything she does, as much as we might want to sometimes. And last night, you were unconscious and then killing evil beasts. Be logical Regina." Snow eased off on her sweet, caring tone and tried to force Regina past her guilt and shock to be the resilient, confident woman she loved. Snow knew she had to rally Regina; she knew she was the only one Emma would openly talk to out of them all. Changing the subject slightly while maintaining their ability to have a frank and emotional conversation, Snow added, "Thank you. For calling us."

"I did it for me. It was selfish. I needed help. I can't lose her Snow. I just can't," Regina said as she forced herself to turn away and prevent herself from showing such raw emotion to the woman she spent so much time plotting to kill.

"You won't. Something stopped her. We just have to find out what that is and remind her of it constantly.," Snow paused, realizing that she didn't have some inspirational speech about hope and good winning. This wasn't like some battle on a field. "David and I want to be here for Emma, but we want to be here for you too. We've been trying to help, trying to make your life easier. If there is something that we can do that we're not realizing, please just ask. By helping you, we help her so you can look at it that way if it's easier." Snow concluded with a wry smile indicating she knew Regina would like the perspective given on the offer.

"Thank you. I will keep that in mind," Regina curtly replied.

"You need to talk to someone Regina. I don't expect it to be me, and I understand that it can't be Emma, but you need it. You let Archie help with the nightmares. Talk to him and be honest," Snow candidly suggested as she gave Regina's shoulder a gentle squeeze in support.

"I can't watch her twenty-four seven. She's my wife, not my prisoner. When she told me about what happened after she gave Henry up, I promised her she would never feel like that again, that I loved her too much for it to be possible. But I was wrong. We're here. I let us get here. I didn't protect her from this. I don't know what to do Snow."

"She changed her mind, Regina. Focus on that," Snow frankly added as she rose to give Regina the privacy she had desired before her intrusion, allowing the woman the solitude she needed.

Regina knew she was lost, that she needed someone to help her cope. The problem was the only person she wanted and needed, was Emma.

* * *

By late morning, Emma was fully awake and comfortingly to her family, responsive. Henry had tried to get his mother to say more than a few syllables by bringing out Operation Mama Bear - his previously effective favorite tactic. The Charmings hadn't had much success either. Their only victory was getting their daughter to drink some vitamin water and use the facilities. Once Emma was settled back under the covers, Snow informed Regina that her wife was awake. Regina took a deep breath and internally pleaded to herself to say and do the right things to help her wife.

"Hi darling," Regina greeted Emma as she got under the covers to lay next to her blonde. Emma didn't speak but averted her eyes and slightly shifted her body away from the brunette who knew better than to touch her.

"You have to talk to someone today, Emma. I don't care if it's me, your mom, Archie, or if you want me to drive you back to rehab to talk to Dawn, but you will talk to someone today. It's not optional. One benefit of talking to me though is you don't have to get out of bed," Regina finished raising her eyebrow to show that she knew her observation was an attractive one. Emma's desperate contemplation was evident in her searching eyes.

"What do you remember from last night?" Regina pressed, trying to get Emma to at least verbalize something. The wait for Emma to speak was agonizing.

"Mon-sters, com-ing home, writ-ing," Emma spoke slowly and quietly. Barely above a childlike whisper.

"So then you understand why talking is mandatory?" A small nod in reply. "Okay, so who do you want darling? It's okay if it's not me. It won't hurt me."

"That's be-cause I've hurt you so much al-ready," Emma said as she began to feel her desolation consume her once more.

"No, you haven't. I will just understand if you don't want to talk to me about this," Regina assured as she slowly lowered her hand to rest on top of Emma's. She gave Emma plenty of time to reject it and was hopeful when she didn't.

"Are you go-ing to leave me now?" Emma asked as her gaze traveled to the unopened letters.

"I could never leave you. Ever. You are my north, my south, my east, and west. You know that." Regina paused, realizing that Emma responded best when you just asked her something directly. It was rare she didn't answer. Maybe it would work this time too. "What does this feel like Emma? I felt some of what you did when we shared memories, but I sense that intolerable pain was nothing compared to what you felt last night and are maybe feeling now. If you can explain it, just enough for me to have some idea, perhaps I can help it not feel like that anymore," Regina all but pleaded. She had to quell her fear rippling through her as she saw Emma contemplate what was being said. Emma looked like she was being physically tortured as she searched her brain averting her eyes as best she could.

"Can you not l-ook at me wh-en I answer?" She begged, voice breaking hard. The pressure building inside of her to an intolerable level.

"Whatever will make this easier for you darling," Regina assured, hiding her relief that Emma was willing to talk to her, as she raised herself so that her back rested on the headboard. She cautiously lowered her hand onto Emma's shoulder, hoping that it would be the right balance of emotional support without making Emma want to recoil. Emma shifted, resting her head on Regina's thigh, who understood what Emma wanted and moved the blonde's uncontrollable limb, so it was like she was hugging the lower half of her wife. Regina had absentmindedly started running one hand up and down Emma's back after placing the other hand on Emma's left arm, holding it in place. Regina then waited.

"It feels like I'm trap-ed in a tall burn-ing build-ing. I know there is no way out, that to die is my fate. So, I can stay here, in the fire and smoke and live in that pain, know-ing there is no escape, that this hell is all there is for me. Or I can jump out of the window. Then I could breathe one last time and then it will all be over. And I won't have to suffer any-more…"

"Emma-" Regina broke, instinctively bringing Emma closer to her. She had noted the deliberate clarity with which Emma had spoken. This was a carefully chosen analogy.

"It's tor-ture be-ing here," Emma concluded. Regina froze. She needed the correct words to show she understood to a degree what Emma was trying to tell her.

"I want to help you find a way out and not feel like you have to jump. Build a stairwell together maybe?" Regina softly said, continuing to offer physical comfort, to show that once again, nothing had changed between them.

"Over-play-ing my analogy a little," Emma managed to tease, desperate to downplay the image she had just conjured for her wife.

"I'm just saying that maybe that burning building isn't the end of your story. Maybe it's just part of the journey." Regina tried to reason, still operating in the comparison Emma had set. The pair sat together quietly for several minutes. Regina didn't want to interrupt Emma as she seemed to be processing the logic of her wife's suggestion to her fate.

"I thought my des-tiny was to save people. To bring back the happy end-ings," Emma finally articulated having seemingly gone through several conversations in her head before verbalizing anything.

"It is," Regina replied quickly, unsure of where Emma was going with this conversation.

"You don't be-lieve that. That after-noon in your office you told me that I had saved all the people I was destin-ed to save. I thought last n-ight I was go-ing to make it better for every-one, make the town safer. All I did was make th-ings worse. I'm not the Savior I thought I was. Now, I'm just the person who now prevents you from liv-ing your life."

"Emma, I do believe that. I just meant that I didn't think you were tied to here any longer, and I was wrong about that," Regina said trying to backtrack, having forgotten she had even said these words. "And you are the Savior, Emma, with or without magic or a curse. No one can ever take that away from you. It's who you are. I live for you, Emma. I always will."

"That's part of the problem. Your life stop-ed when my heart did. You can't just l-ook after me for the rest of your life."

"I want to be here, with you, regardless of the circumstances," Regina responded adamantly.

"No. You don't under-stand. I can't handle it. The add-itional guilt."

"It makes you feel guilty?"

"Yes. You're bored. You make everyth-ing about me. Which is wonder-ful and I appreciate it because it's hard to do that for someone. But I feel like I'm destroy-ing you," Emma admitted.

"Emma, I can't leave you alone. Especially now." Regina increased her movements along the blonde's back to try and convey how much she wanted to be there for her wife.

"Doesn't have to be you," Emma saw she wasn't being clear enough. "I want you to run for May-or. It excites you, you en-joy it. It's where you be-long. Not here with me all day."

"Emma, when you're better we can talk about this. But right now, you're sick, and my priority will always be to help you get better. Wouldn't it feel worse if you were home alone all day? Or with a stranger, or with your parents rather than me?"

Regina sat waiting for Emma to agree with her. However, such a response never came. Emma had once again traveled inside herself as though Regina wasn't even there. Regina knew she had to push to get the answers she needed; she wanted to know why she hadn't 'jumped'. With Emma's silence, though, Regina knew it would be pushing too hard. She looked at Baxter's sleeping form as she gazed around the room, desperate for some inspiration on how to proceed. She looked the nightstand, her brain filling in the missing weapon that had sat in front of the of the letters. She looked from them, back to Emma and finally found a question she thought Emma might answer.

"What do you want me to do with these, darling?" Regina asked, breaking the silence, indicating the notes she had left on the nightstand.

"I'll put them w-ith the others," Emma replied without a thought, suddenly realizing what she had said.

"The others?" Regina asked, terrified.

"Box in the bott-om drawer," Emma replied, seemingly having once again given up. Regina opened the drawer to find seven other letters all addressed to her.

"You write these when you want to-, when you feel like you did last night?" Regina pivoted.

"It helps me fo-cus on you. Helps me re-member why I want to suffer longer. The ones in the drawer don't say good-bye." Emma tried to explain. It was becoming clear to Regina that Emma now remembered anything that was tied to an extreme emotion. It wasn't just the happy incidents that she could fully recollect. As she continued to recover, traumatic and desperately desolate moments were increasingly being retained too. This was a new development she hadn't appreciated. It wasn't just the shared memories that now plagued her beautiful wife's mind.

"But last night's do?" Regina tentatively asked, knowing that as the letters weren't just addressed to her, last night had been different, worse than the other occasions.

"Yes. I'm s-orr-y. I'm s-o s-o-rr-y Re-gina," Emma whimpered, burying herself into Regina's side.

"It's going to be alright darling. I just want to understand. I already assumed they did," Regina assured, her voice soft and soothing.

"It's brok-en," Emma said unexpectedly.

"What is?" Regina asked, thoroughly confused.

"Us. I need you more than you need me and yet I broke it. It's in a thous-and pieces, and yes it can be glued back to-gether, but it's never go-ing to be perfect like before."

"It's not broken. It never will be broken. It is still perfect. There is not anything in the world that could ruin what we have. I love you Emma Swan-Mills. It's really that simple." Emma began to cry, searching herself and Regina to see if what the brunette was saying was true, that they really could have back the marriage they once had.

"All I want in the world is to be there for you and with you, and not let you fall. I just want to help you on your journey to becoming yourself again," Regina added as she sensed Emma would finally let her hold her. She lifted Emma's weakened body onto her torso and began rhythmically and soothingly rubbing circles into her back, resting her forehead on the blonde's locks as with body-wracking cries, Emma finally let go.

* * *

**Eleven Days Later**

"I don't understand," Regina stated, surprised, as Snow pulled the car into the stable's private road. "I don't have time to go riding. I want to be home when Emma and David return. I don't have my stuff. I thought we were going to the orchard. This is a ridiculous idea."

"David called and asked me to bring you both here. Your gear is in the back." Snow acknowledged as she parked next to her husband's SUV, winking at Henry via the rearview mirror.

"This is where he brought Emma? I thought the plan was just to get her some fresh air; out of the house, out of bed. They were supposed to go to the docks."

"I sense it was the other way around. And all those things were achieved. Isn't that right Henry?" Snow said brightly, smiling that the mischievous plan had worked flawlessly.

"Mom, you are frustratingly slow sometimes. This is Ma's plan. Play along. Just pretend to relax and have fun for her. This is Operation Freebird," Henry announced, unable to hide his pleasure that he was helping both his mothers at the same time.

"So, she did seem better today? It wasn't my imagination?" Regina asked Henry tentatively as she turned to face him.

"Yes. Ma felt like she could do this today; get out, try and make you happy. Just enjoy this good day Mom. Relax a little," Henry instructed as he enthusiastically exited the vehicle and headed toward the stable block. The women followed, with a little less haste.

"Are you okay Regina, you look more tired than normal?" Snow asked, careful to keep their brief conversation private. "Did you see Archie and actually talk to him?"

"Yes. I wanted to use a memory erasing spell immediately afterward. He's gotten better at making me express myself. I've only been that honest with Emma before," Regina replied without emotion, as she focused on surveying the otherwise uninhabited grounds.

"Not even with Daniel?" Snow asked, her expression showing that she immediately regretted such a personal and painful question.

"Even with Daniel. That was young, 'puppy love'. It doesn't even compare to what I have with Emma," Regina said defiantly.

"Did it help?" Snow asked, wondering how far Regina would let her push, to what extent their friendship had now forged.

"He gave me confidence that he can handle serious issues and help Emma," Regina replied, prompting Snow to nod approvingly at her non-answer.

"Mom!" Henry cried, running towards them. "You have to see this!"

Following the excited prince, Regina and Snow saw Emma sitting on a horse, being led by David, walking slowly around the paddock. Baxter ran to Regina happily, placing his muddy paws on her top to show his enthusiasm. She sighed at her temporarily ruined outfit, but she was able to prevent the anger from building. She knew his actions meant Emma was content.

"Hi," Emma called, drawing the pair closer.

"We came here to saddle the horses for you, and I convinced her to hop on," David said, his smile full and bright, making his eyes glint in the morning sun.

"Having fun darling?" Regina asked as she let the horse sniff her before patting his neck.

"Is it alr-ight that I am?" Emma asked, confusing everyone. "Dad said it would be okay to get on the horse," she said, suddenly becoming sheepish.

"I think it's wonderful!" Snow remarked happily.

"Why wouldn't it be okay, my princess?" Regina asked as she now stood next to Emma.

"This plan was suppos-ed to make you happy, not me," Emma said with a shrug.

"Come on Mom. Get your hat and boots on and help me perfect my rising trot." Henry's elation was getting uncontrollable.

"Your horses are all saddl-ed and ready to go. You've to take them on a long trek. Dad will super-vise Henry," Emma instructed Regina and Snow, heavily indicating that their next actions weren't optional. "Dad will you take me over there? I think Star would like to com-plete at least one circuit," she added as lowered her head to the horse's neck.

"As you desire Ems," David said with a bow.

"Do you like your sur-prise? You haven't been rid-ing in a long time, r-ight?" Emma asked searching Regina's eyes with her innocent ones.

"No, I haven't. This is perfect, darling. Thank you. I love you," Regina replied leaning in to brush her lips against Emma's. Emma closed her eyes in response, allowing herself to feel the love her wife was desperate to express.

Through their brief contact Regina felt it; the woman she missed, the wife she thought she had lost.


	24. Capital Gains

**October 21st**

"Did you tell her what day it is?" Henry asked anxiously as he straightened his freshly pressed shirt.

"I didn't need to. Emma remembered by herself shortly after waking. Without reading," Regina added with a broad smile as she finished setting the breakfast table. "I think she tried to not fully sleep so she wouldn't forget," Regina said only above a whisper since she could hear the hum of Emma's chair getting closer.

"Does this look okay? I'm more accustomed to wear-ing an orange jumpsuit in front of a judge," Emma asked in her familiar deflective humor as she emerged from the bedroom in slacks and a crisp white blouse.

"You look perfect darling," Regina assured as she admired her beautiful wife.

"Are you sure this will work? They won't ques-tion my obvious deficits?" Emma asked, nerves clearly growing. "I'm sorry if I mess this up for you, Kid," Emma added, diverting her eyes.

"For us. And you won't, Ma. Mom says they'll just ask some routine questions. We can practice them with the lawyer right before the hearing. I actually have the list of expected questions in my room. I'll go get it. We can practice after we eat our pancakes," Henry suggested before he ran up the stairs banging the ground with every step. He hadn't waited for a reply.

"Will this really work out? I can fake happi-ness for twenty minutes for this, but I can't fake remember-ing stuff. What if they declare me an unfit parent? Hen-ry will be crush-ed," Emma said as her lower lip began to tremble while she attempted to suppress her emotions.

"Emma, it will be fine. It's a formality. They are aware of your medical status. You can make decisions with reasonable logic-"

"Reasonable?" Emma asked, her eyebrows showing that she was trying to be playful.

"Well, it's not perfect, but it's good enough to raise him," Regina threw back as she plopped the pancakes onto the plates. "You also seem to forget that I have everyone in my pocket if need be," Regina assured with a sultry wink.

"Regina… the dog…" Emma asked quietly.

"His name is Baxter," Regina clarified. She appreciated that she was once again beginning to understand Emma's desires by interpreting her subtle expressions, tone, or body language.

"Baxter," Emma repeated, unable to hide that she couldn't quite place the name. "He's cute," Emma remarked as Henry came bouncing back into the room with a seemingly non-depleting source of energy. His distraction meant Emma hadn't seen the brief expression of doubt dance across Regina's face.

"Got them. They're super easy Ma," Henry announced while smothering his and Emma's pancakes in maple syrup.

"You're sure Kid? This is really what you want?" Emma asked, becoming less self-assured with each passing minute.

"Argh, enough with the repetitiveness already! I have my signature figured out. I have this whole style with HSM. So stop asking and eat your pancakes," Henry declared with an excessive huff.

"Henry Daniel Mills, you will not talk to your mother that way," Regina berated as she took his pancakes from him. The glare they exchanged told Henry that Regina would happily not sign any paperwork today if his attitude continued in this insolent manner. The lack of 'Swan' in his last name intensified his point.

"I'm sorry Ma. I just really want this. I desperately want us to be a family." Henry's apology was accompanied by a long sincere stare. Emma knew she should be angry with him, but she could only imagine how frustrated he must be with her to act this way.

"It's okay Kid. I'm sure I say the same th-ings constant-ly. Let's work on the questions after breakfast. Baxter?" She added looking back at Regina.

"Yes darling, Baxter." The Labrador never changed his demeanor, whether Emma remembered his name or not. He was already sitting patiently, iPad in his mouth, ready to help the one he loved most.

* * *

"Look at this picture Moms! Isn't it perfect?" Henry exclaimed as they sat in the SUV after exiting the courthouse.

"We shall most certainly frame this," Regina beamed, looking at the photograph they had taken of the three of them just moments after, in the eyes of the United States, Henry had two mothers. Regina looked at Emma, concerned. She was staring out the window and appeared to be lost within herself. "Emma?" Regina prodded.

"It's a gr-eat p-ic, K-id," Emma's voice was far from even and was enough evidence alone to show that she had been crying.

"What's wrong Ma?" Henry asked, feeling a little rejected.

"Happy tears. I did someth-ing r-ight," Emma assured with a nod of her head. "I'm so pr-oud that you're our son, Henry."

"You were perfect Ma!" Henry declared with a slightly awkward hug because of the interfering car seats. "You're okay, right Mom?" Henry added as she looked a little emotional too. Despite her repeated assurances, he still worried that the adoption implied that she, alone, was not enough.

"Happy tears all round. I love that we are all now Swan-Mills'. It really is quite something, considering when I met Emma I wanted to kill her," Regina teased trying to make Emma's eyes dance with the fiery passion they had for each other.

"So are we ready for the next surprise of the day?" Henry asked, feeling as though he had given his mothers the right amount of time to process their emotions, without being overcome by them.

"Surprise?" Emma asked composing herself. Her intrigue was genuine.

"Yes. We are off to the airport, so buckle up," Regina declared, checking her mascara before she got herself situated for driving.

"Wait, what? Wh-ere are we go-ing? For how long? The town-," Emma questioned rapidly.

"-Is fine. The Well hasn't needed much maintence in the past week. They have a plentiful supply of light magic to protect them if they need it, all wrapped up in the box Gold made," Regina assured as she started to move the car into the busy street.

* * *

"Did you tell me where we are go-ing and I forgot or are you pur-posefully not tell-ing me?" Emma asked as the foursome waited to be called through airport security.

"Purposefully. I thought Henry's hearing this morning was enough stress to be processing. And you know how I like to surprise you," Regina teased with a gentle nudge of Emma's shoulder.

"This is for my birth-day?" Emma asked, the date having not gone unnoticed.

"Yes. Everything just coincided. Looks like the TSA lady is ready for you and Baxter. Henry and I are right here if you need us, okay?" Regina tried to suppress her worry. Emma wasn't a delicate flower any longer; she was a strong woman. Regina had to stop treating her as if that were so. The balance between that and protecting Emma from distress was not one she had often found recently.

"Keep hold Baxter's leash Emma. Do whatever the lady says," Regina tried to assure. By Regina's tone and stare, Emma concluded she had temporarily spaced out; she was finding it a little awkward being patted down and was concentrating on that sensation. The process seemed to be taking forever.

"Sorry," Emma said to the warm eyes staring at her.

"That's okay. I need you to lift your arms for me," the thirty-something agent asked politely and with a slower disposition than Emma thought was natural.

"I can't move the left one," Emma replied while lifting her right and trying to hold onto Baxter.

"Thank you, ma'am. I'll just screen your dog, and then you'll be on your way," the kind TSA employee said waving her wand over Baxter's torso as he stared at Emma the entire time. It was evident to everyone Emma's confusion was growing. It was as though she couldn't ground herself, but refrained from expressing her mounting frustration through physical means. Once they were cleared through security, Henry took Baxter's leash and Regina looked directly into her wife's glowing green irises.

"Are you alright, darling?" Regina wondered, unsure how to read Emma's expression.

"Re-gina," Emma murmured. She lifted her hand and grazed Regina's cheek, the feel of the touch familiar. "I'm good. So which gate?" Emma deflected.

"14," Regina said taking Emma's cue and acting as though nothing had just happened.

"We're going to D.C.? Why?" Emma asked as she motioned for Henry to pass Baxter's leash.

"As I said, things coincided. It's a surprise," Regina said mischievously.

Between Baxter and Emma's wheelchair, the family had been first to board the small commuter plane. Emma had not enjoyed relinquishing her mechanical chair for a far less comfortable 'aisle chair' as she was transported onto the aircraft. She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed, she just liked to be able to control her direction of movement. Due to the lack of space on such a vessel, they had the front row, so there was ample space for Baxter to lie at Emma's feet. Emma easily won the battle for the window seat with Regina and before most of the other passengers had even boarded, Emma was asleep. Henry was excited by his single seater, which offered him both a window view and the room of an aisle seat. It had all gone better than Regina could have hoped. During the short ninety-minute flight, she was even able to enjoy listening to the enthusiastic ramblings of her son. No. Their son.

* * *

"Is the bathroom okay, bars and everything in the right place?" Regina asked nervously as Emma emerged from their hotel bathroom after showering.

"You need to chill. Everyth-ing in America is stand-ardized. It's illegal for anyth-ing to be wr-ong," Emma said, her frustration controlling her attitude. "I'm sorry. I'm tired and annoy-ed you won't tell me why we are here," Emma added as she ruffled Baxter's ears.

"Please just let me surprise you tomorrow. I know it was a long day. We should have ordered room service and relaxed here; we didn't need to go to the restaurant," Regina tried to backtrack.

"After hear-ing Henry talk about the forty-seven flavors of ice cream at that 'all you can eat' ice-cream bar? Not option-al. It was his day; we were right to cele-brate." Emma sighed heavily, resting her head on the hotel room wall.

"Is it D.C. that's making you… uncomfortable? Or just the plane and the taxi ride and the fact everything is new? Was this too much too soon?" Regina all but pleaded.

"I'm sure what-ever the sur-prise is, it will be fabulous. You're incapable of lett-ing me down or disappoint-ing me. It's just…the guilt of be-ing away from the town; and now if someth-ing happens to you…I mean, I can't even get on a plane without you. I've been putt-ing on this fake smile all day, and it's exhaust-ing. It's clearly not enough for you or him, and it makes me seem un-grateful. But I can't be un-grateful because I don't know what I'm supposed to be grateful for. This surprise is border-ing on kidnapp-ing!" Emma vented.

"Emma-" Regina said, startled by her wife's outburst.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so-rry. I can't just be the happy, play-ful per-son you want me to be," Emma felt defeated.

"That's not what I'm asking for. Or expect for that matter; nor does Henry. You're trying; we see that. We appreciate that. But that's not what's wrong. Please talk to me." Regina sat on the bed as near to Emma as it would allow. She gently rested a hand on Emma's thigh, and as always, waited.

"Henry be-came my son today. And I won't re-member it. It's October. I don't know if we cele-brated our anniver-sary. I mean I know we did because it's in here," Emma said as she held her iPad. "But I don't re-member it. And you've brought me here, for this big surprise, and I already don't remember gett-ing on the plane," Emma managed to articulate through increasing tears.

"Emma, we never know what you will and won't remember. You might remember this, you might not. I know how hard this is for you; it is for me too," Regina offered, showing as much warmth and sincerity as possible.

"I'm try-ing Re-gina. This is full of me begg-ing myself to re-member th-ings," Emma stressed as she oscillated her iPad. "Events aren't even familiar. Even th-ings that seem like they were locked in are fad-ing. I didn't even re-member him today," Emma professed as Baxter had already begun offering his signature support.

"Emma I don't have an answer for this. I can't wave my hands and make this better for us. I don't expect you to remember any of this. I honestly don't. I'm just hoping that tomorrow, for a few seconds, you'll be happy. Or rather, just a little less sad," Regina said with continued composure. Emma didn't need to see her tears tonight.

"I love you," Emma whimpered as she lowered her iPad and reached for Regina.

"And I love you. More today than ever before. That you should try to remember." Regina's little tease was enough to calm Emma. She motioned for and without objection let Regina lift her exhausted body onto the bed; her side already turned down. "Make sure you have everything you want to remember about today. I'll be a couple of minutes while I take Baxter out and then get ready for bed." Regina kissed the top of her wife's head, handing Emma her electronic crutch before rising from the mattress.

"Then, can you tell me all about the picnic we had at Peace Point to m-ark our thr-ee years?" Emma pleaded, her control wavering.

"I would love to," Regina confirmed with a firm nod.

"Did I at least s-ing to you?"

"You did. Our song after we recited our vows. As per tradition. It didn't even rain this year."

"I didn't know what I didn't have 'til I met you," Emma said, her remorse showing. She withdrew her eyes from Regina and began typing.

* * *

**October 22** **nd**

"Good morning darling," Emma heard as she blinked her wife's face into focus. "Happy birthday."

"Mehugdh," Emma replied, her mind muddled and confused in the fog of sleep. She felt Regina's fingers start to run up and down her arm slowly.

"March," Emma eventually said, letting Regina know she needed more time. Something she had expected.

"Wake up for me, darling," Regina coaxed. She had no idea how long this might take, and Henry was already desperate to give Emma her present.

"No magic," Emma mumbled as she became aware.

"Alas, not. I miss feeling you too," Regina replied honestly. It was then Emma opened her eyes fully and appreciated that she wasn't in their bed. She looked around, recognized it was a hotel, and that a dog was lying on her feet. Regina expected Emma to go through her usual routine of arm, leg, recollection. Instead, Emma seemed to roll, plant her legs, and attempt to stand in one fluid movement.

"Fuck," she cried as she unceremoniously hit the floor. "Great start to the day, Emma," she remarked as she tried to get up.

"Are you okay?" Regina exclaimed as she crawled across the bed to find Emma laughing.

"Oh just perfect," she said smiling. "Care to help a girl up?" Regina grabbed Emma under the arms and pulled her back onto the bed before giving her a deep, forceful kiss.

"It's really my birth-day?" Emma mused, feeling instantly that the date didn't feel right.

"Yes, darling. Your bacon and eggs will be here any minute. Breakfast in bed for my princess," Regina teased as she continued to move her fingers over her wife's body.

"Where the hell are we?" Emma asked as she surveyed the room. "How's Baxter this morn-ing?" She added before laughing at the twitch of his ears.

"D.C." At this news, Emma's eyes went wide.

"For me?"

"Is that okay?" Regina asked fearfully. She had no idea what Emma's connection to D.C. was.

"Heck yes. I love this city," Emma beamed. "Have you been here be-fore? Is Henry here? Can we go to the mus-eums?"

"Henry is next door and eager to give you your gift. And we can do whatever you want." Regina laughed, surprised by Emma's enthusiastic disposition.

"Well get him. I like the idea of a present!" Emma added as she raised herself up. It was at this moment that she fully appreciated her physical disabilities. "I drown-ed," Emma added slowly, piecing together what she could.

"You did," Regina confirmed as she stroked Emma's arm.

"It's October?" Emma asked hesitantly.

"It is," Regina gently confirmed.

"The same year?" Regina nodded in the affirmative. Her patience to do this every day was unwavering. She found it fascinating the subtle changes in dialogue Emma would run through. "I love you," Emma said unexpectedly. Regina was caught off guard as Emma confirmed her words by brushing her lips against hers. She watched Emma analyze her chair and Baxter closely; the puzzle complete. "I can't walk?"

"Not yet. You can stand. For longer and longer each week. Despite some setbacks, you're still improving," Regina answered, her voice laced with a little sadness.

"That's a sweet-ass chair you've got me. And Baxter? Damn girl, that dog is ador-able," Emma added enthusiastically. Regina smiled. It was clear today was going to be a good day. "Can't imag-ine what else you got me," Emma added warmly.

"You're such a child sometimes," Regina quipped as she pulled out her phone to summon their son. "Do you want to catch up on the previous few months or days?" Regina asked as she held out Emma's iPad.

"Anyth-ing I need to know right now?" Emma asked while absentmindedly petting her chocolate lab, who was enjoying directing Emma's scratches.

"Don't think so."

"Then it can wait." Emma indicated she wanted Regina closer and the brunette shifted to hug her wife from behind, who immediately sank into her wife's torso. The pair sat just enjoying the feel of each other, a closeness that both had missed, even if one of them wasn't conscious of it. The fleeting moment of peaceful bliss ended with the heavy-handed entrance of Henry from his adjoining room.

"Happy birthday Ma!" he exclaimed. He made the bed bounce as he sat and engulfed his mother in an excessive hug.

"Thanks, Kid," Emma said as her eyes lowered to the present he had placed on her legs. It was a red rectangular box with a white bow.

"This is from me. You'll need this tonight while you enjoy Mom's present," he said offering it to his blonde mother. Emma greedily accepted it, removing the bow and placing it on Baxter's nose. Regina was, naturally, at hand taking a video. Emma opened the box to find a Nationals jersey, the number eleven on the front. Emma's expression was one of great confusion.

"You don't like it?" Henry asked, his disappointment and worry clearly demonstrated.

"No Kid. I mean... I love it. I'm just confused," Emma said as she pulled the jersey out of the box and began thoroughly inspecting it.

"Maybe this will explain things?" Regina said as she directed Emma's attention to an envelope that she held open in her hands.

"Are you fuck-ing kidd-ing me?" Emma happily screamed, her eyes wide, displaying her apparent shock at the tickets she now held. "Game six! Game six! What's the score in the series?"

"Nats are down by one. They so they need to win tonight or the Cubs will go to the World Series," Henry brightly replied. He exchanged a look with his brunette mother, sharing their equal delight at Emma's reaction.

"What? How? I- How?"

"Magic darling. Just a little piece of magic," Regina replied innocently as she hugged her wife again and passed the still recording phone to Henry. "So you like your present?"

"Like it? Are you serious? This is the best present ever! I can't be-lieve it. I can't be-lieve the Nats are this close. Do you guys even under-stand the game?"

"It's not complicated Ma. Harper is hitting a .321 average, Ramos a .303, your fav Zimmermann is at 0.289 and Scherzer is a strikeout pitching machine," Henry remarked, rendering his mother speechless.

"The game isn't until seven, so is there anything, in particular, you want to do today?" Regina asked while she deeply breathing in Emma's scent.

"Can we go to the air and space museum? I'd like Henry to see the Apollo 11 capsule and learn about the space race. Oh and their Spirit and Opportun-ity exhibit! You know, the rovers they sent to Mars," Emma clarified at Regina's slightly confused expression. She had no idea that Emma was so interested in space travel. She knew she loved the stars, but the space race? This was new.

"Sounds great to me!" Henry declared. "I'll take Baxter out, and hopefully the food will be here by the time I get back. Love you Ma," Henry remarked as he reflexively kissed his mother's cheek. He had already left the room before Emma could even form a word.

"Are you okay?" Regina asked tentatively at Emma's new silence.

"Yes. I'm just. I don't know what to say. How to express how grateful I am," Emma said as she quietly looked at the tickets in her hand.

"Your glowing smile is more than enough. Happy birthday, my princess." Regina relaxed and enjoyed holding Emma in a tranquil silence.

"I want to stay like this for-ever," Emma sleepily said as she fully relaxed. Regina took her phone and snapped a selfie of the pair.

"There. Forever it is preserved."

* * *

"It was so smooth," Henry commented as he recalled feeling the piece of moon rock beneath his fingers.

"Probably worn down from everyone touching it," Regina remarked coolly. "Are you warm enough Emma? I have more blankets."

"Regina. I'm fine. I promise. This is amaz-ing. The at-mosphere. I can't be-lieve we're here," Emma repeated.

"But isn't it weird that the Moon used to be part of the Earth and then mankind went and brought some of it back?" Henry commented absentmindedly, not listening to his mothers.

"Why do you keep looking at your watch? The game starts in half an hour."

"Right," Regina said as she was somewhat ignoring Emma and looking around the stadium.

"Hey, Kid. Can you get me a hot dog with lots of mustard?" Emma asked.

"Sure Ma. Mom, you want anything?"

"I think I will forgo the heart attack on this occasion. It is Emma's birthday after all," Regina quipped as she began to survey the aisles around her once more.

"What's wr-ong?" Emma asked immediately after Henry had left earshot.

"I miss my magic. I feel like something is missing," Regina expressed as she turned to finally look at Emma.

"The magic I buy, I miss feel-ing you too. But what are we miss-ing? We're here on time, we all have attire that clearly shows we are root-ing for the team in red. It's a base-ball game; you don't need more than that," Emma reasoned searching Regina's eyes. As she stared at them, the brunette's eyes grew wide her teeth glowing as her smile became overwhelming.

"Is this seat taken?" Emma heard a familiar voice ask. The blonde turned and stared at the couple. He was handsome, mid-thirties. She was brunette walking with crutches.

"Happy birthday Wheels!" Lauren proclaimed as she sat down next to her former roommate. It was clear that the word Wheels had triggered recognition in the blonde.

"Lauren!" Emma declared, unbelieving as she forcefully embraced her friend with more human contact than she was entirely comfortable with.

"Our flight was delayed," Tom said apologetically over the hugging pair to Regina. "Sorry, we missed dinner. Hope it didn't ruin anything."

"I would say not," Regina beamed.

"How are you? How are you here? Do you even like base-ball?" Emma asked in what was for her, rapid fire.

"Are you kidding? You made me watch so many of these over the summer. Let's tie this series up!" Lauren said with fake excitement.

"Good effort Lauren," Henry declared as he returned.

"You're walk-ing?" Emma noted as she tried to process everything.

"With the help of my handy silver sticks. So is it a happy birthday? Or do you want to kill yourself today?" Lauren asked in her traditional no-filter manner. Regina and Tom a exchanged a worried look.

"No no, it's a happy birthday," Emma assured with a light giggle. Emma adored Lauren's frank personality.

"Good. The smiling is far better than that ridiculous cry face you Skype me with," Lauren added as she sought to make herself comfortable. As she did so, Emma turned to Regina.

"You always know how to sur-prise me. Thank you so much for this," Emma said squeezing Regina's hand. "Everyth-ing is perfect."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Regina noted as she dug around in the pockets of Emma's chair. "Here you go," she said as she offered Emma and Henry baseball caps before plopping one on her own head. Emma tried, but she, nor Henry could contain their laughter.

"Who would have thought Queen Regina would wear one of those?" Lauren scoffed, articulating the words everyone wanted to express.

"What? I'm completing the outfit," Regina defended.

"It's cute," Emma commented unable to suppress her deep laughter. "Please let me take a picture of this. We're so fram-ing this one." The pair adorned huge smiles in their photograph. "Really, I love it. Best. Picture. Ever."

"Oh shut up and eat your hot dog," Regina teased back as she held it to Emma's mouth.

* * *

"Re-gina, this was the best birth-day I have ever had. That was incredible. I mean that play in the eighth when we pulled off the four-three-two double play to get that zero on the board. I mean that was stun-ing," Emma said with such great animation, it was as though she was reliving it.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, darling," Regina softly replied as she and Emma faced each other in bed, their hands intertwined.

"Didn't you?"

"Oh yes, it was quite the day. I never thought about space travel before."

"Yeah, they got to the Moon and back in less tech-nology than what makes my chair move. Wait, you never thought about space in the Enchanted For-est?"

"Not that I recall. I was a little too obsessed with revenge and magic to be concerned with hurtling myself to the stars." Regina was lost just looking at how happy and content her wife was. Emma was clearly exhausted from her day, and the heaviness of her eyes was beginning to show it. "Why do you love space so much, Emma?"

"Other th-an it be-ing beaut-iful?"

"Yes."

"I th-ink it's re-mark-able what we can do when we work to-get-her. The cooperation, the tenacity of man-kind. But most-ly, I just think it's cool. How planets look, how diff-er-ent the uni-verse is. The possibilities. That was of course until I knew about fairy tale worlds. Be-sides, be-ing an as-tro-naut would have been p-retty awe-some," Emma said with a gentle smile.

"No magic in space," Regina mused as she thought about living or traveling on a spaceship with her blonde.

"Hmm no. Doesn't matter. We're go-nna go home, and you'll kick Belle's butt in the e-lection, and we will r-ule the l-and of m-agic," Emma said as her speech became close to unintelligible.

"It does appear that I am winning," Regina noted.

"W-hy does that sur-prise you?"

"She's been doing a great job after a rough start. There's no reason for people to vote for me."

"Y-et most are intend-ing to. So have a little self-con-fi-dence. The Re-gina I know does-n't know what self-doubt is."

"Sleep darling," Regina said as she saw the blonde's eyes had closed.

"Best birth-day e-ver," Emma slurred, her mind desperately clinging to the overwhelming happiness her heart felt felt.

* * *

**October 23rd**

"What is it? What's wrong?" Regina asked, her concern growing, as she watched Emma shift uncomfortably in her chair.

"My hip, it hurts," Emma admitted through gritted teeth, her discomfort beginning to overwhelm her.

"WelI, I'm not a professional, but can I help stretch it out? I've watched Jane do it enough times," Regina offered, knowing that the mere suggestion wouldn't be what Emma would want. She liked clear boundaries between wife and caregiver.

"Please," Emma easily relented, demonstrating her pain level was becoming insufferable. Regina did her best to make their hotel bedroom floor comfortable by placing a blanket onto the hard ground, before carefully laying Emma on it.

"Remember to breathe darling," Regina suggested as she stretched Emma's legs like she was taught to flex the hip best. Once Regina had completed the set routine, she applied ice, wrapped in a towel, hoping it would relieve her wife's discomfort. "Is that okay? Too cold?" Regina asked tentatively, not sure how to read Emma's mood.

"It's fine. Thank you," Emma replied despondently. She turned her head and stared at Baxter who was preoccupied with a little self-grooming. "I'm tired," Emma added gently into the uncomfortable silence.

"Well, once we're done here, you can sleep for a while. We aren't meeting Lauren until later. Tom got us tickets for tonight, so we don't need to do anything but rest all day if that's what you need."

"No, I'm tired of be-ing the weak one."

Regina was rendered speechless. Emma seemed lost in her own mind once again, and Regina knew she always found it near impossible to break through.

"How do I make this easier for you?" Regina eventually asked, the tension from their enforced silence finally too powerful to endure any longer.

"You can't. I'm just go-ing to have to accept that you take care of me from now on. That's just how the cookie crumbled," Emma said sadly, showing that acceptance was going to take longer than realization. "It's one of the th-ings I talk to Archie about apparently," Emma added as she looked to her iPad, indicating to Regina she had read that assessment that morning.

"Maybe sometimes you need help, but I do too," Regina assured. They had had this conversation often. The unbalance caused Emma enormous and unrelenting emotional pain.

"I'm sorry you have to look after me."

"Emma listen to me. When it comes to you, I don't see a weak woman. I see my young, vibrant, glowing wife who is fighting through the worst year of her life. I want to be right there next to you as you battle."

"Regina-"

"Let me put it in terms you might understand. It's bottom of the ninth, two out, nobody on, full count, and we're down by five. The stadium is empty, and I've never hit a pitch off their closer, who is only playing to stay loose for the next series. I'm going stand there at the plate Emma, and foul off ball after ball until I get one I can hit. Because no matter how bad things might seem, you, my princess, are worth fighting for."

"I love you, my queen," Emma replied after a long deliberation that ended when she finally looked at her patient, waiting wife. "I remember going to the game. I didn't know you knew all the rules," Emma teased, desperate to make them both not be consumed in this difficult moment.

"Good darling. How does this feel now? Do you want me to wrap it? Sometimes that helps," Regina asked as she removed her makeshift ice pack, appreciating Emma needed to move the conversation from the painful reality that was their life together.

"I think it's better. Thank you so much, Regina." Emma paused, clearly debating how the rest of their day should proceed. "Did I ever tell you about the months I lived in D.C.? Why I love the city so much?"

"No, darling. I worked out it was important, but I couldn't decide if it had good or bad connotations for you. So, I never pressed."

"Oh, no. They're all good. Well mostly. I'm just not… proud of it? Well, all of it," Emma deliberated.

"Okay?" Regina prompted, unsure of what Emma was attempting to divulge.

"Can we go on a short field trip? I'd like to show you someth-ing." Emma sounded clear, self-assured. A quality Regina had missed.

"Can Henry come?" Regina asked, uncertain if his presence would be appropriate or welcome.

"Sure. He'll be bored, but yes."

* * *

Regina and Henry shared a confused look as they stood on the sidewalk in front of the student art building. Emma seemed uneasy but indicated that the pair should follow.

"I lived in the city in the summer of 2006. A girl I met in the psy-chiatric facility, her parents used money to solve problems, and they en-rolled her in an art class here one summer. She was talented; you needed an im-pressive and diverse port-folio to get in here. We happened to run into each other again as she was gett-ing ready to leave and I sort of took her place."

"What exactly do you mean by 'you took her place'?" Henry asked, beating his other mother to the question. They were now in an elevator, ascending to the fifth floor.

"I mean she spent the summer with her boy-friend in Boston while I posed as her in class. She would just come to the city every second week-end for her 'parent's visit' to keep the rouse alive. I thought tak-ing an art class sounded fun and she paid me to do it. I saw it as a win-win." Emma and Baxter stopped in front of a painting, an exquisite piece showing in the foreground the statue of Iwo Jima with the Washington Monument and Capitol subtly in the background.

"It never occurr-ed to me that I had talent. Enough talent to paint this," Emma said as it became apparent the painting Regina and Henry were admiring passively was made by the woman in front of them. Henry read the card which stated 'Michael Harrison Award. Summer 2006. Kate Jones.'

"You're an award winning artist!" Henry declared, amazed at the layers of his parents he had yet to learn.

"Yeah Kid, I guess I am. Or was," Emma said sadly as she began to rhythmically clench her right hand in and out of a fist.

"I want to buy this. I want this in our house," Regina said as she attempted to properly admire the intricate strokes which were lost in the ineffective lighting.

"Please don't. I like that it's here. That I left that ver-sion of myself behind with it," Emma gently pleaded.

"Alright darling, but I'm taking a photograph at least," Regina said as she slyly took her phone out and snapped a shot.

"It's not the Guggen-heim, Regina. There aren't restrictions on flash photo-graphy," Emma mused at her wife who hadn't yet mastered the art of a stealth approach.

"I'm gonna look at the weird sculpture thing over there, is that cool?" Henry asked, having deciphered for himself the pair needed a moment alone. Even Baxter lay down to give the couple space.

"Just stay in our eye-line Kid," Emma instructed.

"Emma, why didn't you tell me, us, about this? You should be proud," Regina asked as she crouched to Emma's eye level so their conversation could be more private.

"I am. It wasn't like I was hid-ing someth-ing from you. There just wasn't a time where the summer where I got high, lived with an Italian guy, and went to art school came up. It was quite the cliché." Emma said lightly with a shrug.

"Italian guy?" Regina asked, eyebrows fully raised.

"Marco," Emma offered, her eyes distant as she reflected; her teeth pulling on her bottom lip. "He worked at Nats Park. He was in the city for the sum-mer. One of his jobs was to wear a president mascot cost-ume. He would sneak me into the games. I would sit there and draw, some-times watch the game."

"Which explains the love for baseball." Regina still didn't understand why Emma would never have told her about this time in her life, especially since baseball and painting had become such an important part of both their lives.

"Yes. Please under-stand I'm not proud of my life then. I had no responsibilities, except go to class and go home... And he wasn't impor-tant, he was just a fl-ing. But he was good to me, and it ended well. I think it's what I needed to be ready for the real thing after Neal." Emma assured her eyes filled with love for her wife.

"Emma, we've both had lovers in the past; some were more significant than others. I don't doubt your commitment to me."

"I know. It's just... that summer... it chang-ed me. I left here with a little money. I let go of enough resentment that I finally wanted to find my parents. It's what event-ually lead me to Chloe, to be-ing a bail bonds person, to the person you fell in love with."

"Emma, I think we can agree that I am the only one who should be ashamed of their past." Regina tried to sooth, not really understanding why Emma would be ashamed of being free and young one summer.

"You were rais-ing our son. Feed-ing him, educat-ing him. I was liv-ing a fraudulent life, get-ing high and paint-ing this," Emma said gesturing towards the artwork. "Even after D.C., I was still messed up; steal-ing, liv-ing in my car for a few years. I'm basically ashamed of the life I lead before I met you. But that summer, it set me on that path. This stupid award gave me hope that I had more to offer the world."

"Emma, you were young; there were far worse things you could have done. It's nothing to be regretful of. Is that why you paint? It reminds you of a time when you felt hope?" Regina asked, still not fully understanding what Emma was trying to tell her.

"It reminds of the first time that I accepted that the journey, the pain of it all, is worth it."

"Emma-"

"Any path that leads me to you is worth all the suffer-ing in the world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know the Washington Nationals didn't get as close to the World Series as depicted here. I hope a little creative liberty is alright with everyone! :-)


	25. Forward Momentum

**Early November**

Henry sat in extreme comfort as he played his video game in the main sitting area, seemingly unaware the sun had set, and the house was now dark.

"Where's your mother?" Regina asked, shedding her coat after surprisingly finding her son alone. Recently, Emma had taken to watching him play, offering helpful hints of 'kill him!' or 'go to the left!'.

"Sleeping," Henry replied without breaking eye contact with his game.

"Henry," was all Regina had to say before he paused the relentless virtual killing with a heavy sigh. "Did Rachel say anything before she left?" Regina pressed, her concern growing. It was rare for Emma to need rest in the afternoon if she was having a good day.

"Just that she checked on Ma and she was sleeping. She seemed down today Mom. PT didn't go well," Henry added sadly. In response to the regret that flickered across his mother's face, he continued, "Ma likes that you don't take care of her during the day anymore; Rachel seems to be a good fit for her. I think Ma is trying to sleep the sadness away. How was campaigning?" Henry asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

"Think about what you want for dinner. I'll go get your mother. Then I'll tell you both about my day," Regina bargained with a look that indicated he could return to his game while she flicked on a few lights.

Regina didn't even need to be in their bedroom to hear Emma crying or rather the blonde's unrhythmic deep inhaling. Once again, for comfort, Emma had opted for Regina's pillow over her chocolate-colored companion who had taken to kneading as best he could on her side. Her emotional state was evidently decreasing. Regina kicked off her shoes, sat on the bed, and gently brushed the hair out of Emma's eyes so she could fully appreciate the level of despair that her wife was feeling. At Regina's touch, Emma flinched and tightened her grip on the pillow, permanently disorganizing the feathers within. Regina now lay in the empty space Emma, and Baxter had purposefully left for her and wordlessly looked into Emma's tear-filled eyes.

"You could hug the real thing?" Regina said gently as Emma seemed to deepen her connection to her protective armor. Her warm smile was enough to make Emma reach for her. However, just as quickly as they connected, Emma withdrew, looking at her wife with fear. Regina had learned what Emma was trying to tell her and held her hand out in expectation. The tears only increased as Emma gave Regina another magically written letter.

"Thank you, darling. I'm going to hold you now until everything seems more bearable, okay?" Regina said tenderly as she placed the letter on the nightstand. Eventually, she would put it with all the other unopened correspondence her wife had written to her. Emma diverted her eyes as she gave a nod, knowing that Regina wasn't actually giving her an option. As Regina shifted Emma onto her lap, she found the baby blanket was soaked in Emma's tears. The blonde had evidentially been crying for a long time. As soon as Emma felt the comfort of her wife's body, she couldn't control her despair any longer, and with powerful, all-consuming wails, her emotional turmoil was expelled. Henry heard his mother's howls which easily suppressed the sounds of his successful zombie decapitation. He padded down the hall to join his parents, full of sorrow that he hadn't actually checked on his ma. He had selfishly believed Emma's caregiver because he wanted to beat the current level. He finally stood by the door and watched as Regina gently rocked the destroyed blonde.

"Sorry. I didn't know," Henry said regretfully as Regina noticed his presence. She shook her head to indicate it wasn't his fault.

"I think we'll have Chinese food for dinner. Does that sound agreeable to everyone? I no longer feel like cooking," Regina stated. Emma preferred if her crying wasn't the focus of attention when she and Regina weren't alone. It helped dispel the weakness and pathetic disposition she felt. To Regina, dinner seemed like an ideal natural deflection.

"Sure thing Mom," Henry said with a despondent nod as he left the pair alone. Emma was most likely completely unaware of anything that has just transpired. Her entire body shook as she gasped for oxygen and exhaled in agonizing shudders.

"It's all going to be okay darling," Regina repeated as often as she thought it might be effective while holding her temporarily broken wife.

It wasn't the last time that Emma would feel despair, hopeless and doubt her self-worth like this or that Regina would hold her as she cried uncontrollably. It was, however, the last time Emma would need to write Regina a letter to just make it to the next moment. It would sit with the fourteen others in a box that, in time, would remain forgotten in the past where it belonged.

* * *

**Middle of November**

"I can't wait for this to over," Henry remarked as he looked at the last batch of campaign leaflets Snow had just plopped in his hand for a little last minute door-to-door campaigning.

"Tomorrow night it will be," Snow observed as she gathered a stack for herself.

"I don't see why we have to do this. Mom is winning, she pretty much slayed Belle at the town hall meeting last night, and everyone else is polling in the single digits," Henry uttered with a frustrated whine as he mentally calculated how much of his afternoon was about to be consumed with a senseless task.

"Well, let's just make sure people who didn't attend last night know what Regina stands for. You know never to assume anything. That applies to politics more than anything," Snow said with a wave of her hand, disregarding her grandson's concerns.

"Why didn't you run grandma? I mean, these are your people," Henry asked thoughtfully.

"This isn't the Enchanted Forest. I am not suited to running a metropolitan town. I'm more of a horse with a bow and arrow type of ruler. I do not care for negotiating the finer aspects of contracts," Snow said sincerely as she consulted her phone to recollect her next task.

"So you don't mind Mom being Mayor?" Henry asked, wondering if the closeness of their family would now be in jeopardy as the balance of power shifted.

"No. Your mom, she needs a project, Henry. She's… proactive. She doesn't procrastinate. I'm passive; I want to teach and come home to my family at night and not worry about the small stuff that keeps our little town ticking. We all get the benefit of being part of what David calls the 'Hero Crew', so I get to stand up for and protect my people. It's a win-win for everyone," Snow tried to reassure Henry.

"I wish we had done TV ads, that would have been fun," Henry said, shifting the conversation as he looked sadly at a picture of his mother. "We could have said things like, 'Vote for fighting the darkness, not living with it'," Henry projected then shrugged unenthusiastically. "I could do better with more time."

"It's a small town Mayoral election Henry, not a national race. But It is nice to have a little democracy, even if that does mean Leroy has a shot at leading. His proposal to have twenty-four-hour all-access beer was a little disconcerting." Snow looked around the house and finally realized that it appeared Henry was home alone. "Where are your mothers?"

"In the bug, having lunch," he said as if it were obvious.

"Naturally," Snow dismissed, returning to her pseudo campaign manager duties.

* * *

As the weather grew cooler a few months previously, the married pair had taken to eating their lunch in Emma's unofficially retired near-fluorescent automobile. This use was how Emma kept the bug alive. She had been correct in her initial assessment on her arrival home; she couldn't remember the steps to driving. Her brain could understand how to steer, how to push the pedals to alter speed, but combining the two notions simultaneously was a feat that currently seemed insurmountable. So instead, it became the place the couple ate sandwiches with hot beverages. The crispness of the air brought both to the mutual conclusion that this would be the last meeting such as this until spring began to thwart the winter. Even with their warm coats and hats, it was undeniable: winter was coming.

"I want to thank you," Regina began with an air of hesitation as she placed her thermos between her knees for warmth.

"For what?" Emma asked, losing her focus on eating, leaving the half-eaten chicken sandwich hanging in midair. Regina silently scolded herself, this could easily have waited until the blonde was fed.

"For pushing me to be Mayor again. Or at least try to be. Even if I lose tomorrow-"

"You're not go-ing to lose tomorrow," Emma interjected.

"Even if I lose tomorrow," Regina repeated, slowly and deliberately, "I've enjoyed it. The campaign. Talking to people I've never met. Hearing how decisions I made before I stepped down helped people. I just did what was logical, it never occurred to me it was appreciated. Just necessary."

"Look-ing for a little more confidence," Emma supplied scrunching her face in dissatisfaction.

"Oh, I am undoubtedly the best person for this job," Regina said wryly as she tried to get Emma to read her card before the spinach leaf that was precariously still attached to the bread fell onto her lap.

"You're welcome. I might be fucked up, but I still know what's best for my wife," Emma teased candidly. Regina stared at Emma as she glanced at her note then ate. She wasn't reading and eating at the same time. Emma could remember the steps long enough to do one then the other. She found it near impossible that she hadn't noticed before. She wasn't certain that this was in fact the first time Emma had managed this.

"Emma," Regina asked tentatively as her wife swallowed her last bite. "Instead of playing cards today, would you like to take the car for a spin?" Emma frowned at the suggestion. Every day, when they ate here, she thought about driving; it seemed too complicated. A conclusion she had reached once again only twenty minutes earlier after successfully turning the ignition to warm the interior of the vehicle.

"But we play every day," Emma said with a hesitation as she began to get anxious. She liked routine, she needed it. The pair would always play for half an hour after eating. They had done so since rehab; it was something that helped her memory without too much effort.

"Hey, it's okay, we can play too. Would you like to try driving?" Regina asked after thinking she had successfully eased Emma's concerns. She was excited for Emma, she knew that doing this was on Emma's new, realistic 'bucket list'.

"I thought we estab-lished that I can't," the blonde replied a little dejectedly. Emma didn't understand why Regina was trying to change the routine. They had been having a pleasant lunch after Emma had regaled her productive morning. Her PT session had gone well, and her occupational therapist pointed out her recent progress, invigorating hope that she may get the motor control she desired to paint as she once had. So far the day was as good as Emma could ever hope for. Regina, equally, had a bounce in her step after returning from a meeting with the school teachers.

"Well, we haven't tried in a few weeks. You seem… better? Today," Regina pointed out, her smile wide. "One step at a time. If you don't manage it, well, then nothing lost. Isn't that your phrase?" Regina raised her eyebrows excitedly. She knew she had said what Emma needed to hear.

"Well, yes. But I apply that to literally walk-ing or comple-ting tasks like add-ing milk to my coffee. Not hurtl-ing you and me into oncom-ing traffic to set up the headlines for the next month," Emma replied in an empathetic tone that told Regina she thought she too had lost some of her cognitive abilities.

"Well how about we don't aim for other cars then? I can use a little protective magic if that would make you feel better?" Regina said wryly, her hands already indicating a spell was seconds from being summoned. At Emma's assertion, it was cast. "Okay, now, put the car in drive. To do that, keep your foot on the brake, just like it says here," Regina indicated as she put a picture card including written directions in Emma's eyeline.

"Regina, do you not see a flaw in let-ing someone 'drive' when they need operat-ing instructions on how to do so?" Emma tried to defend, firmly believing her wife had come slightly unhinged after talking to all the townsfolk.

"In the real world, absolutely. But we aren't. We are in Storybrooke. A land with magically empty roads. You literally cannot damage anyone or anything even if you tried. Now get on with it," Regina said dismissively as she turned her attention to look out of the window, giving Emma as much space as she physically could. The more independent Emma felt, the better it would be. Regina could hear Emma silently protesting. Only a few minutes passed until the brunette's patience, and perseverance was rewarded; she heard the gear stick move, and as she turned, she saw Emma stare at the paper, her expression terrified.

"You're doing well. Remember, nothing bad can happen. Take your time," Regina encouraged, her smile warm, eyes loving. Emma, exhaled as she processed 'hold onto the steering wheel using the wheel applicator', 'point car', 'press foot lightly on the accelerator'. This was as far as she had ever really gotten; down their drive onto the road proper, where she would then be so preoccupied maintaining an appropriate speed she would forget to turn.

Regina was never sure what to do on these occasions; if she should help or allow Emma to find the answers alone. More commonly, it was the latter, it helped her work it out again. So, she sat back and enjoyed the slowest, most whiplash-inducing ride of her life. Once they stopped at the end of street Regina finally turned and looked at Emma, to find her head resting on the wheel, clearly overawed.

"I'm still get-ing better," Emma mumbled in relief.

"Yes, you are," Regina coaxed as she ran her hand over her wife's back. "That was extraordinary Emma. Now, would you like to take us home?" Regina prodded hoping Emma would calculate how to turn the car around in the spacious street. The turning axis was so small, no reversing would be needed. It was with sad lost eyes, however, that Emma eventually had to admit defeat.

"Together?" Regina offered, indicating she would take the wheel. "Just push on the gas pedal lightly. Remember, we're protected by magic, there is nothing to fear," Regina stated giving Emma much needed assurance. With a reluctant nod, Emma felt an exhilarating rush as the car fluidly spun around, and they expertly made their way up the road back into the drive.

"I'll turn it around later," Regina said cheerfully after Emma returned the gear to park. "So cards? I think you're winning this week," Regina said, purposefully downplaying Emma's achievements as it appeared she was both shocked and overwhelmed by her success. What she wanted to do was jump with joy and shower Emma in superlatives. Unfortunately, such actions made Emma feel like a child.

"That was fun," Emma finally confirmed as Baxter broke her silent concentration on the steering wheel by handing her her water cup and proceeding to nudge at her shoulder. Emma had yet to learn what these signals from Baxter meant; Regina sighed at her comprehension.

"Did you use magic today?" Regina asked as she handed Emma two pills. "To minimize the migraine you're about to get," Regina clarified in response to Emma's confused look. Regina was trying to track what Emma's triggers were. Magic was obvious, but other causes were not. She had them at rehab. Therefore, magic wasn't the only cause.

"Yes I did," Emma admitted.

"A lot of it?" Regina pushed. Emma nodded before focusing on taking her medication and the accompanying water. "Why?" She added after Emma was finished.

"I don't want to talk about it," Emma said dismissively as she started cleaning up their lunch.

"We're allowed secrets, Emma. Just promise me, whatever it is, you're being careful," Regina said sincerely. Emma stopped her movements and inhaled deeply. It was evident she was thoroughly analyzing her actions. With a confident nod, she told Regina she was indeed, being careful. "Let's get inside, and we can play cards until you need to rest. I can send Rachel home, and I'll sit with you?" Regina offered.

"No no, this is her job. You need to go and make sure that as of to-morrow, you have one too," Emma assured with a bright smile.

"So, you like her, and this arrangement?" Regina prodded. It had only been a few weeks, but Emma's moods did seem to better which was aiding the in effectiveness of her therapies.

"Yes, I like that you don't take me to appointments, that you're not responsible for me all the time. That I feel more like an equal. Thank you for listen-ing to me," Emma added with a gentle warm smile that showed no signs of pain.

* * *

Emma was still sleeping on the couch when Regina returned from her last meeting of the day. Her blonde looked restful, but she sensed she would wake soon and as such settled to pay a few bills at the kitchen table before they could make dinner as a couple. She had barely loaded her online bank statement when a swirl of red smoke announced the arrival of the Dark One before her.

"Gold?" Regina asked, perplexed.

"We have business to discuss, dearie," he said without pause.

"Please refrain from appearing uninvited in the future. We will talk in my office; Emma is sleeping," Regina said as she directed her unwelcome guest. Gold couldn't help but notice the comfort Emma was receiving from her lab that was asleep on her feet.

"Get to the point; I have a lot to do," Regina said shortly as she closed the door.

"I thought Emma was better," Gold said showing a moment of concern. Though his inquiry was selfish; it was in his best interests that Emma remained alive, healthy, and in tune with her magic.

"She is, now get to your point," Regina fired, her patience deteriorating.

"I'm here to collect the favor you owe me from our previous transaction," he stated clearly. Regina didn't change her expression as she waited to hear his price. She merely glared. "To preserve the dog, you will withdraw from the election."

"What?" Regina asked, astonished. "Belle will never forgive you for this," Regina tried to reason quickly.

"Which is why you will never divulge to anyone why you withdrew," he added with a twinkle in his eye, demonstrating his satisfaction.

"Why?" Regina asked incredulously.

"Belle and I are happy. Our marriage is working. I seek to preserve that. If you desire your wife to remain… content with her life? You will accept my offer. If you decline, well, I'll just have to remove my dark magic. You know that once it's removed the dog will not survive. That's the deal." Gold knew he had won. Even this very afternoon, Baxter had demonstrated he was irreplaceable and was evident in Regina's expression.

"His name is Baxter. And I need a reason. Refusing to give one will only lead to suspicion," Regina argued, unable to instantly think of one herself.

"You will think of something believable. Give my best to our Savior. Perhaps give the dog a bone." With an engulfing swirl of magic, he was gone. Regina stood stunned. Slowly she exited her office and without thought found herself caught between staring at her slumbering wife and their dog. There was no decision to be made, Emma needed Baxter. Regina didn't need to be Mayor. She pulled out her phone, called Snow, then Belle, her concession now complete.

* * *

"Is it my brain or does this not make sense?" Emma asked as they sat by the fire.

"I'm just saying this, situation, has given both of us a chance to change our lives for the better. I'm just not sure being a politician is what I want to do for the rest of my life," Regina attempted to explain as they held hands.

"Okay, but why now? Why didn't you have these doubts weeks ago?" Emma questioned, fearing her recent migraine had caused Regina to rethink her ability to spend the day at the office. Even that didn't make sense to Emma, she had slept through any discomfort and was perfectly fine.

"I began to think about what if I lost the election, what would I do then? The excitement of the unknown was thrilling. Frightening but liberating," Regina tried to justify. Emma's mind was swirling with confusion.

"I pushed you into this against your will?" Emma asked, scared her question was actually a statement of fact. Regina would do anything for her, even this.

"Oh no, darling. You didn't push me to do anything. I thought this was my future, but wouldn't it be more exciting if we both start fresh?" Regina tried to reason, feeling she was somewhat convincing Emma.

"Okay, well, I just want you to be happy. So what do you want to do?" Emma pondered aloud.

"Maybe we could start a family art gallery?" Regina mused.

"Doubt there would be much profit in that in Storybrooke. And you have no passion for art. You appreciate it, but it's never go-ing to make you want to get up in the morn-ing," Emma threw back.

"Touché." Emma watched as Regina ran her fingers through her hair and for the first time she saw what her wife looked like when she was uncertain of the future.

"It's a little ironic. That day it was me complain-ing that I wasn't happy in life and now-"

"It's me that's a little lost," Regina said rendering both women temporarily mute.

"You could be Sheriff? They never did replace me over there. You and Dad seem to get on well," Emma proposed, even though the notion of Regina the Sheriff was secretly hilarious.

"I think emphatically not. I have no desire to chase Pongo around the forest for the foreseeable future," Regina replied instantly while rolling her eyes.

"Good to know you valued my contri-bution so highly," Emma quipped, but she was unable to hide that her feelings had been hurt. "It was rather bor-ing at times. Unless there as a magical catastrophe to deal with," Emma added as an afterthought.

"Villains do counteract the banality of small town life," Regina agreed with a warm smile. She lowered her head into Emma's lap, showing her acute sense of vulnerability and lack of direction.

"Riding instructor?" Emma added desperately. Regina just sighed, indicating she should just stop; she wasn't going to solve this in a single evening. The pair settled into a peaceful silence as they both contemplated their endlessly changing lives. "Speak-ing of the future… is it okay that I spend the rest of mine paint-ing?" Emma finally asked in a whisper.

"it really makes you happy doesn't it?" Regina asked, shifting her body so that she could stare upwards into Emma's eyes as she answered.

"Well, all I can say is that this morn-ing when I saw my current piece for the first time, it made me smile and focus. I had fun today paint-ing and listen-ing to music. It's not much of a life I know; not compared to the gun-sling-ing hot babe you married," Emma added, showing her feelings of inadequacy that would always haunt her even as she tried to be humorous.

"The idea of you being safe, being home with me every night, and not making the Mayor's life impossible with late, poorly scribed paperwork sounds ideal to me. You are of course, still part of the 'Hero Crew' as your Dad calls it. You will be required to battle the next fairy tale related crisis we face. That is not optional." Regina supplied defiantly. It was important Emma realized that she was vital to the town's safety; that her value had never diminished.

"Yes Ma'am," Emma replied, her voice unmistakably laced with sadness.

"What's wrong darling?" Regina asked as she raised her hand to stroke Emma's cheek.

"I miss runn-ing through the woods after Pongo. I miss runn-ing," She admitted before averting her eyes entirely to stare at the crackling fire.

"You're still improving. You drove today," Regina tried to reassure. However, Emma was deep into analyzing everything they had both lost. Neither spoke as the fire dwindled, taking with it the happiness and contentment each had enjoyed earlier in the day.

* * *

Regina sat next to Emma as the results of the election were announced. Belle had won in a landslide, with only a few having voted for the others that sought power. Leroy had only received five votes and looked at his comrades to discover who had been his Judas. Belle stood to a polite applause; the air in the room was thick, the enthusiasm for their new mayor surprisingly muted. Regina rose and walked onto the stage and, to instill some tradition to proceedings, handed Belle a golden key to the town. She smiled, shook the incumbent's hand, and settled back into her seat; her duties for the evening completed. Through the entire process, the room remained quiet, and Belle had seemed a little awkward and confused as she received the symbolic gesture.

"Thank you," Belle began as the light applause subsided after she approached the microphone. "I am honored so many of you took the time today to show me your support; your way of thanking me for the job I did these past few months to keep our town functioning. For maintaining all the things Regina had put in place. For translating the texts that helped us fight the latest threat to our survival. It really does mean everything, because we all know this wasn't a competition, it was a kind gesture. I enjoyed leading, but I, like each of you, agree that I am not the best person to do this. I'm not the one we all want to follow. Snow, would you please," Belle asked as she motioned for Snow to come to the microphone. David stood by her side as she addressed the eager crowd.

Regina crinkled her eyes at confusion at Emma whose expression mirrored her own. She then looked to her son, and Henry's broad smile and a small tilt of his head in his grandmother's direction told Regina that she should pay attention. She assumed Snow was going to reclaim her crown and gripped Emma's hand to sit through the insufferable speech about hope and good that she was about to bare. She looked to Belle who smiled a nodded in her direction as she twirled the key in her hands.

"Gold may not have allowed this election to run as it was intended, but against injustice and evil, the good in us all always finds a way," Snow began as she read from a prepared speech. Regina winced wondering how anyone knew about the deal, looking immediately at Baxter to confirm he was still breathing.

"I worked it out," Henry whispered into his mother's ear. "You didn't break any rules," He added knowingly. "Grandma Belle talked to Grandpa Gold; everything is fine," he clarified with a wink.

"Regina, when we all woke from the curse, as a town, we resented you. Begrudged being pulled from our lives, our families, our land. Our home was a kingdom that was ruled by my father, with a crown that should have been handed to me upon his death. A crown that you stole. You sought power that wasn't yours, you ensured anyone that didn't respect you would feel extreme pain and suffering for their rebellion." Emma glanced at Regina seeking permission to make her mother stop this unprovoked character attack. Regina shook her head, as she saw Snow smile in their direction reassuringly.

"Despite these distractions, even then, you made sure your kingdom thrived. Our farms survived barren times, our lands were protected from creatures and invasions. In your own vengeful way, you protected us all. That desire to provide, to lead, to be respected, it only blossomed here. Since the curse broke, you have been continuing on a path of being our provider. You've willingly battled next those you once thought of as enemies to protect the land we all now call home. The love you have for your family, the presence of mind to see you couldn't do it all, that desire to put others before yourself. Your ability to walk away when you knew your attention lay elsewhere. They are all the qualities the King and Queen of the Enchanted Forest instilled upon me. The ruler they desired their people to inherit. Furthermore, you allowed a democratic process to chose our leader," Snow continued, her composure waning as she saw Emma's eyes fill with tears. Everyone was finally seeing what Emma had recognized shortly after she met her wife.

"We once called you our Queen, not because you earned it; because you commanded it. Here, in Storybrooke, we are not intimidated into thinking of you as our monarch. This is simply how we think of you. Only now we won't call you our Queen, but instead, respectively, Madame Mayor," Snow finished as she met Regina's stunned expression and showed her she was, in fact, reading from an official document, complete with signatures at the bottom.

"Everyone in town signed it. Except for Gold," David confirmed, as he indicated a stack of books on the stage that undoubtedly held the signatures that couldn't be contained on the paper from which Snow had just read.

"I don't think I did," Emma whispered to her wife, looking guilty.

"You did Ma," Henry offered. "Mom, you really should go to up there now and say something. It's getting a little awkward," Henry encouraged with a smile. Regina stood, kissed her wife and with grace and poise she took to the stage.

"Well, I'm shocked and not quite sure what to say, other than, thank you. And, Belle, I require a deputy," was all Regina could muster as her first words as an elected leader. The next were drowned out by an enthusiastic applause.

* * *

**End of November**

Emma sat on the couch wondering where Regina was. She was supposed to be home fifteen minutes ago, and she wanted to speak to her alone before her parents, and Henry came over; they're arrival now imminent.

"Hi darling," Regina said in a rushed voice as she materialized in front of her slightly surprised wife. "Sorry I'm late, I was showing Belle how to enter numbers into a spreadsheet, so the total town income isn't always zero. She's a tad technologically challenged that one," Regina said, exacerbated, as she flopped her tired body onto the delightful cushions.

"That's okay," Emma said as she tried to find a position to settle in.

"Are you okay? You're acting weird," Regina noted as she automatically sought contact.

"Weird? That's not a nice th-ing to say to the brain damaged. You need to be more politically correct, Madame Mayor," Emma whimsically noted, helping to control her growing nerves.

"Emma. Seriously, what is with you? You're all… fidgety," Regina pointed out as she leaned forward to better evaluate her wife's expression.

"I did someth-ing, and you're go-ing to be mad," Emma mumbled.

"Okay..." Regina said tentatively as she carefully watched Emma, who continued to fiddle with her iPad.

"If I show you my memory, my feel-ings, can you remember them and show them back to me?" Emma asked hesitantly.

"So, you did something that will make me mad, but that you would like to remember forever?" Regina mused.

"Yes. Is that possible?"

"I think it will be hard for me not to incorporate put my own feelings of when I saw it, but yes, in a way." She watched as Emma dragged her teeth over her bottom lip. "Emma whatever it is, just tell me. Or rather, show me."

"I'm sorry that you weren't there for this. Jane told me that you and my parents both wanted to be there the day that I did this. I hadn't made prog-ress all week, so it seemed unlikely and, just by chance, no one could make it today. Maybe it was because no one was watch-ing. I relaxed more; I could just focus." Regina's eyes went wide understanding completely what she had missed that morning. "As you watch, can you feel my memory?" Emma asked, her eyes pleading.

Regina grabbed Emma's hand excitedly, ready to exchange magic. With her other hand, she woke the tablet; the video was already loaded, and Regina pressed play. The sensations the brunette was feeling superseded any experience from the most immersive 4D film. As she watched the moving images, Regina felt Emma; heard her thoughts of perseverance and determination as she tried to lift her left foot inches off the ground. After accomplishing this, she shifted it forward six inches before lowering it firmly onto the padded floor. She heard Emma beg herself not to roll her ankle; to stay upright and though Regina watched the leg slightly wobble, it was unmistakable that the limb held. Emma transferred her weight onto it and moved her right leg forward quickly, reaccepting her body weight once more. She had never felt happiness from Emma like this, not even when they had sex. Regina continued to watch, mesmerized, as Emma used her arm to move the walking frame forward and repeat the process. Finally, she heard her wife exhale pure relief and satisfaction, both on the film and internally.

"Please don't be angry with me," Emma requested as she finished transferring her memory and the Emma in the video, panting, was helped back into her seat.

"I could never be angry at you for this. This is astonishing darling! Yes, I would have liked to have seen this for myself, but life isn't perfect that way. I'll just have to come for a repeat performance tomorrow, or however many days it takes for you to be able to do this again. You walked Emma! I'm so proud of you. And now with a little piece of magic, the moment is faithfully preserved forever," Regina rattled off, her words, uncharacteristically, running into each other in excitement.

"Well, unless you lose your memories too," Emma quipped. "Can you imagine both of us not remember-ing yesterday and potter-ing around here like a pair of demented…"

"You're an idiot," Regina said shaking her head, eager to watch the video again.

"Perhaps, but I'm your idiot," Emma pointed out before passionately embracing her wife.

"Guys, I said no gross stuff," Henry berated as he entered the house with the Charmings only to be mentally scarred by his parent's constant need to express their love for one another.

"Hey everyone!" Emma remarked enthusiastically, relinquishing a slightly breathless Regina who sought to compose herself.

"You did mean to summon us, right Ems?" David asked, unsure if they should have intruded upon what was seemingly elevating to a personal moment between his daughter and her wife. He found himself shielding his young son's eyes in a reflexive move.

"Yes!" Emma announced excitedly. "I want to celebrate, but first, you need to watch this. So you under-stand."

The family crouched around the screen; the three-minute video was repeatedly watched for nearly an hour before anyone would agree to do anything else. The Charmings found something new in every viewing. To them, it was more precious than Emma's first baby steps they would never see. Regina just treasured the laughter that resonated around the room. The presence of a family she never thought she would have. That night Henry made them all, including Baxter, wear party hats as they ate pizza and played endless board games. Lauren and Tom even beat them all at charades via Skype.

As Emma sleepily lay wrapped in Regina's arms, she felt euphoria, pride and the unfamiliar warmth of hope.


	26. Idyllic Imperfection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW.

**Christmas Day**

Emma sat with her back against the headboard as she watched Regina emerge from a deep, peaceful sleep. She chuckled to herself as Regina reached for her, only to be suddenly woken when she realized Emma wasn't in her usual position of lying half on top of her.

"About time, Santa. Just how much cider did we leave out for you last night?" Emma teased. There was only a handful of times Emma could recall waking before Regina. Its peculiarity was only matched in its hilarity.

"Emma," Regina mumbled, "Henry can wait five more minutes to get his gifts; Santa is still sleeping," she added, pretending to remain asleep by snuggling into her wife's side. "Wait, you know what day it is?" Regina asked hopefully.

"Subconsciously maybe, I always did get up earlier than you on Christmas morn-ing," Emma said.

"Well, that's because you're a child on this holiday and the fact that it means nothing to me, other than it makes you and Henry happy," Regina countered.

"So," Emma began tentatively, "did we decorate? Are Mom and Dad com-ing over? Do we have anyth-ing planned?"

"What part of your brain would ever assume there isn't a Fraser Fir tree in our living room?"

"The oxygen-deprived damaged part?" Emma threw back instantly. She quickly realized that the notion their living room wasn't a winter wonderland was ridiculous.

"It's not all in there?" Regina asked curiously, indicating Emma's yellow colored life-line which she was holding. "That we went and picked out the tree a couple of weeks ago?"

"Oh, it might be. I got as far as it's Christmas and figur-ing out if I bought you a gift," Emma said with a smile that suddenly disappeared. "Did we have Thanksgiv-ing?"

"Of course. You and Henry are Americans," Regina replied, not understanding Emma's point.

"No I mean, I don't remember doing that. I thought I would have some small memory of it. I remember going to D.C., and that was before that. I want to remember our Christmases. So many grow-ing up were depress-ing, but the ones I've shared with you have been… well, memorable," Emma said, her voice growing a little distant.

"Emma, Thanksgiving… it wasn't a good day for you," Regina tried to explain, without delving into too many details.

"Okay," Emma said in a manner that suggested all her excitement for the day was gone. "Do I seem better today?" she asked hopefully.

"You're perfect," Regina said before kissing her wife.

"Well that's not what I meant, and you know it, but thanks," Emma said with a gentle giggle. "I suppose it's best just to live every moment as if I'll remember it then," Emma tried to reason. She was reciting the quote Henry had made as her screensaver.

"That sounds like a wonderful philosophy, darling." Henry had chosen well.

* * *

Emma sat sipping hot cocoa through a red straw from a thermos version of her cup, watching a fresh coat of snow fill in her parents' departing footsteps. Through the window's reflection she watched the twinkling of the Christmas tree lights and subtly admired her wife and son as they sat on the couch. Henry appeared to be playing his new video game, something related to World War I, while Regina looked thoughtfully at a puzzle. She concluded it was probably a Sudoku. Emma smiled at the moment, knowing it was her definition of domestic bliss.

Long ago, Emma had concluded that there is no such thing as a perfect day. However, when reflecting on this particular one, Emma couldn't place what hadn't been idyllic about it so far. Granted, her Mom had made an emotional speech before they could eat and Neal cried for twenty straight minutes after his cup fell on the ground, but those had been momentarily blips. Everyone seemed genuinely pleased with their gifts, which were a healthy mix of the needed and desired. Cooking had been completed without tension or an over-cooked burnt vegetable.

The predominant soundtrack of the day hadn't been Christmas carols or forgotten pop stars singing about trees and snow, but laughter. Her own laughter as she tried to wriggle her way into a retro pair of tight jeans for her wife's pleasure. That effect had been achieved, but only because Regina found her half naked on the bed, her energy spent with only one leg in place. Henry and David had laughed endlessly at a holiday special, that none of the women understood, until soda came out of Henry's nose. Emma and Neal giggled as they tried, in unison, to put the square blocks into the square hole; the same for the triangles and balls. Emma liked that, despite the circumstances, she and her brother had something in common other than DNA. As she looked to tell her Mom about Neal's progress she saw and heard her and her wife start to laugh hard, their heads tilting in harmony as they agreed on the comical tale that brought such a reaction.

Yes, this day had been ideal. An opportunity for a fairytale end to a terrible year is what Emma concluded. The blonde's nerves were now rising beyond levels she could contain and in her mind decided that it was now or never. She placed her half-empty cup on the ledge, proud that it didn't topple over, and carefully rose to her feet with the use of her walker.

Henry's eyes barely flickered at the movement, but Regina didn't resist the temptation to lower her pencil and smile at her standing wife. She watched in continued amazement as Emma took slow, methodical, and exhausting steps. It took minutes before she even made it to the couch, her wavering energy obvious.

"Do you want your chair darling? Need a refill when you get back?" Regina offered, knowing Emma didn't yet have the strength to make a return trip to the bathroom, which she assumed was her wife's destination. Her chair was still several feet away.

"No no, I'm head-ing to bed," Emma assured.

"Are you feeling okay? It's early," Regina asked, suddenly worried. Emma had been quiet since her parents left. She seemed to be smiling as she nursed her cocoa, so Regina hadn't been concerned.

"Oh, I'm fine. I don't plan on sleep-ing just yet. Merry Christmas, Kid," Emma added as she continued to walk, determined to not break her rhythm.

"Night Ma," Henry said chuckling to himself, already trying to get to a save point so he could shut down his game. Regina had subconsciously turned to watch Emma as she passed, admiring her ass in the tight jeans she had helped her into earlier. "Subtle, Mom," Henry teased. In response, Regina turned and lightly smacked the side of his head.

"Are you com-ing?" Emma asked over her shoulder, panting slightly as her paced slowed. However, Regina hadn't heard her wife's leading request.

"I think I'll go to Emily's for a while, watch a movie or something," Henry declared, still concentrating enough, so he didn't lose lives.

"You don't want to hang out with your Mom?" Regina asked, seemingly hurt.

"Stop being dumb Mom," Henry scoffed. "Do you think you guys will be at it all night, or can I come home to sleep?"

"Henry, your mother and I aren't going to be doing anything that requires you to leave the house," Regina said, only to lead to her son to audibly laugh.

"There's no need to protect me. I'll just stay at Emily's. Rest assured, we won't be doing what you're doing, for many reasons, but the most comforting to you is that she shares a room with her sister. It's not like I can go to Grandma's and Grandpa's either, the way they were looking at each other, they are probably doing what you intend to," Henry said as he continued to kill any bad guys in his way.

"Really? You think so?" Regina whispered, forgetting who she was talking to and what their conversation was about. Henry just raised his eyebrows. "Well get on with it then," she added, suddenly getting nervous at what her night was about to entail.

"Oh, I can finish the level. By the time Ma makes it to the bedroom, it will be next year," he quipped.

"I can hear you, ya know," Emma threw back, her heavy breathing evident. "But he's right, meet me there," she said before poofing herself the rest of the distance, the walker left behind.

"Perfect timing," Henry declared, reaching a save point. "See you tomorrow," he said grabbing the car keys. "Have fun," he added with a wink.

"Merry Christmas my prince. Drive safe," Regina called, still not able to rise from the couch.

"It's the only option with all the protective magic," he countered as the front door closed behind him.

Regina finally stood, straightened her clothes and the couch pillows before gathering the cups and glasses from around the room. She rinsed them, wiped down the counters, and collected the walker after marking on the wall the distance Emma had managed and the date. It was at least six inches further than she had trudged two days earlier. It was a lateral version of a growing child's chart, an extension of Operation Mama Bear.

"Save enough energy?" Regina asked as she placed the frame on Emma's side. The blonde was still inhaling and exhaling at an increased rate as she lay on the bed.

"Yea, I'm good. I just need a second," Emma answered, her breathing finally beginning to even out.

"That was farther than I've ever seen you walk," Regina encouraged sitting next to her on the bed, her arousal growing with every deep breath her wife took. In response to their proximity, Emma started rubbing her hand up and down Regina's back, who didn't melt into it as she had expected. Emma thought her intentions had perhaps not been clear. Therefore, she awkwardly rose and directed her lips to Regina's neck. She started kissing softly, pushing her body into Regina's as much as she could.

"Emma stop," Regina said before her desire would override any cognitive abilities.

"You… you don't want to? Or can I not? I think I remember what to do-" Emma began in a verbal explosion.

"I wanted to have sex with you while you were still in a coma. My desire has only grown exponentially since then," Regina clarified instantly.

"Then I don't understand," Emma said searching her brain for memories of what the issue was.

"It's just... we get so far, and you stop us. Then I get frustrated, and the mood between us is sour. We've had a wonderful day, and I don't want to ruin it," Regina said, suppressing her desires as much as possible.

"So, we haven't had sex, since March?" Emma asked flabbergasted.

"No," Regina confirmed quietly.

"Well that would explain why I can't remember it then," Emma said, finally ceasing her endless search within her brain. The pair sat quietly as they each became unsure of what to do next. "I'm sorry, Regina," Emma finally said at a volume only above a whisper, feeling ashamed that she hadn't provided what her wife clearly needed, for many months.

"Don't apologize. I understand your physical limitations have been a mental barrier for you and that was before your emotional… instability?" Regina attempted to assure.

"Ever the politician," Emma teased back with a slight nudge.

"We discussed it in therapy. All I'm saying is, don't think you have to do this because it's an arbitrary day and this is how we have spent our few Christmas night's together."

"So you  _do_  want to have sex with your gimpy, slightly crazy wife?"

"With frustrating regularity," Regina confirmed. Short of actually showing Emma, she wasn't sure how else she could convince her of this.

"Wait, you wanted to have sex with me when I was in a coma? That's wrong. There are lines Regina, and I'm pretty sure that would cross all of them," Emma volleyed playfully, hoping it would cut through the tension that now clouded the pair. Though neither would admit it, each felt like they were stumbling teenagers, unsure how to proceed, let alone satisfy.

"Well yes, I agree. I was massaging your leg to help your muscles not hurt and to get your stupid brain to turn back on," Regina said defensively, hoping her explanation would limit the indignation her wife would surely feel.

"You were turned on by my calves?" Emma asked incredulously.

"Have you ever rubbed them?" Regina defended.

"Frequently, every time I shave," Emma laughed back.

"Well aren't you turned on by mine…?" Regina countered as she removed her boot, lifted her jeans, and plopped her left calf on Emma's lap. She manually maneuvered Emma's hand, and to further illustrate her point, narrated her movements, "I'm moving your hand, so your fingers graze my smooth, muscular, olive skin." Additionally, Regina leaned in to deliver her words gently into Emma's ear and had now begun flicking her tongue over it.

"Hmm, yes, that is quite nice," Emma admitted, already lost in being touched this way. "Next time, go for it. Might wake me up," Emma threw back, enjoying the banter.

"Trust me, darling, if I thought it would have helped, I would have fucked you senseless," Regina said as she instinctively lowered Emma onto the bed, straddled her hips, and crashed her lips over the eager blonde's mouth. The kiss was greedy and quickly became nothing but tongue and teeth; Emma's hips even started to buckle. When they finally parted, desperate for air, Regina stared at Emma, assessing how far Emma would let this go. They had been here many times, and she was quickly getting to the point where she would need to be touched. Emma understood the look completely.

"I'm ready Regina. I waxed," Emma said hopefully.

"Well, that's new," Regina said, her pupils dilating. Her voice deep. Emma gave a light shrug, her eyes eager. She bit her lip in anticipation, knowing that by Regina's expression she wasn't going to hold back any longer. Almost instantly, their lips reconnected and just as quickly both women were frustrated by the amount of clothing that were separating them.

Regina broke the kiss and removed her shirt, revealing a red bra that sent waves of pleasure straight to Emma's core. At the sight, the blonde ceased her attempts to remove her sling as she sat in awe. Regina leaned in once more, her hands releasing the immobile limb, which she slowly placed at her wife's side. Emma reached for Regina's left bra-covered breast, and as she lightly massaged it, Regina moaned to demonstrate her gratification. She wanted the same connection, and with Emma's cooperation, Regina discarded her Christmas red sweater in seconds. She looked deep into Emma's eyes for permission before she removed the lacy white bra Emma had chosen for the occasion. Regina, like Emma, took a moment just to stare; it had been too long since she had last seen her like this. Emma misread Regina's pause as hesitation, fearing her scars were curbing her wife's desire.

"They're fad-ing," Emma said sadly, feeling she had fallen below expectations.

"What are?" Regina asked, thoroughly confused.

"The scars," Emma murmured.

"Emma. I wasn't even looking at them. Not really. I was just thinking how beautiful you are, how much I've missed you. I see this one every day," Regina pointed out as she traced her finger along the scar on Emma's neck. "And these," she added, ensuring Emma looked at her, "these are exquisite. They represent how hard you fought to come back to me," Regina said lowering her mouth to suck on each scar that covered her wife's chest. Emma didn't moan or respond to Regina's touch. Instead, she projected her mounting anxiety. Regina noticed and changed her strategy as she latched onto the fading scar on Emma's neck as she cupped the now free left breast in her hand.

"The right one," Emma instructed, as she tried to relax and enjoy her wife's touch.

"You can't feel it? The left?" Regina asked, breaking contact.

"Not as much," Emma replied. Regina nodded and refocused her attention to the opposite side of Emma's neck, where she began biting, then licking, her newly claimed flesh as her hand tenderly massaged and unexpectedly flicked the erect nipple. Emma melted into her wife's expert distracting touch and without inhibition expressed her mounting arousal with quiet moans. She reached to Regina's back, impatient to feel anything but her wife's skin against her chest; the red bra needed to be gone.

"Take it off," Emma panted after several failed attempts, patting Regina's back so she would get the idea.

"As you command," Regina teased, before taking Emma's mouth in hers while working the clasp effortlessly. Both women gasped from lack of oxygen when their deep, extensive kiss finally ended. Regina's bra had, in Emma's mind, miraculously disappeared and seeing her wife's heaving mounds in front of her, Emma latched her mouth around a waiting nipple instantly. Regina groaned in delight, throwing her head back, finally feeling sensations for which she had longed for endlessly. Emma didn't relent; her thoughts were, as always, single-minded. She barely had the mental capacity to use her hand to pull Regina nearer. Regina, however, had no issue in grabbing Emma's head and drawing it closer, intensifying the sensations. As Regina growled in pleasure and Emma cried as her hair was lightly tugged, their private, intimate world was interrupted by a double bark, causing both to look at the perplexed dog, whose head was tilted to one side in confusion.

"Baxter, out," Emma commanded. He didn't move but barked again. "Baxter, please," Emma implored. When the labrador explicitly refused to move, disobeying orders for the first time, Regina rose from her desired position to lead him out.

"She's fine, I promise," Regina said soothingly. Her tone surprised Emma who had expected a stern and raised voice. "Let's get you a bone and maybe a silencing spell," Regina offered, failing to believe she was leaving her needing wife on the bed. In the short absence, Emma had only the time to remove a single sock and her ankle brace when she heard the bedroom door close. She smiled brightly as she took in her topless wife who was now wearing a Santa hat.

"Oh my," Emma replied with a laugh and roll of her eyes. "I thought I was the kid in this relationship?"

"Fine," Regina replied with a gentle giggle as she went to remove her new hat.

"Oh no, keep the Santa hat on," Emma urged.

"Santa? Really?" Regina asked, bewildered. It had merely been a joke in case Emma's mood had changed while she was out of the room.

"Yeah, though more like Mrs. Claus. As I'm giv-ing you a present, I think I'm Santa," Emma flirted as she directed Regina's eyes towards her crotch.

"Ah-huh. You give me a gift where I do all the work, and you get the reward. That is rather masculine, so I guess I can't argue with you, Santa," Regina quipped, finally removing her boots and jeans at a tantalizing pace. Emma's mouth became dry in anticipation when she realized Regina hadn't been wearing panties all day; something she only ever did for Emma.

"You've been work-ing out," was Emma's entire comment as she took in her, apart from the hat, naked wife. Her muscles were toned; her stomach more defined than ever before.

"Well, there was a certain blonde that needed a helping hand this year," Regina said as she played with the white ball at the end of her hat. "So I lifted things. Squeezed others," the brunette drawled, elongating the conversation purposefully to torment.

"Just unwrap me already," Emma said as she reached to pull Regina onto the bed with her as best she could, falling hopelessly onto her back in the process.

As their proximity grew, Emma could smell Regina's arousal, and it only increased her own; the desperation to connect diminishing any patience she previously had. Regina, who enjoyed the game, crept towards Emma like a cat on the prowl. Frustrated, Emma started to remove her tight jeans, causing Regina to laugh at her as she wriggled like a mermaid. Emma's pleading eyes and accompanying pout caused Regina to give in and take control of their evening. Emma skillfully balanced herself on her right side to facilitate the removal of her pants; the second sock gone without the blonde ever being aware. The matching underwear pleased Regina for the effort, the thought, that her wife had extended towards her. While maintaining eye contact, Regina used her teeth to pull the material away from Emma's present, revealing a neat bundle that emitted the most intoxicating scent. Emma's hips bucked as Regina purposefully brushed her chin over Emma's sensitive nerves. Regina couldn't wait any longer and, using both hands, rid Emma fully of the last remaining garment. Once again, Regina just needed a moment to appreciate the perfect nature of her wife's body.

With hooded eyes, Regina mounted Emma, taking her lips passionately as though it were the last time she would ever taste them. Her unrestricted desire and passion rendered Emma incapable of gaining any of her usual dominance, no matter what position she was in. Regina slowly and methodically worked her way south, latching onto Emma's neck before tracing a line with her tongue to her sensitive, taught right nipple. Regina tormented Emma endlessly with her right hand; her nails raking the inside of her thigh, never reaching the area Emma needed to be touched most.

Emma was overthinking everything Regina was doing. Her brain was trying to understand the origin of each touch, each movement, each bite, lick, suck. It was all too fast for her to process, though, and she was quickly overwhelmed. Emma didn't try to reciprocate; she was almost lost in what was happening to her. She barely understood much beyond the fact she enjoyed it, and she never wanted Regina to stop what she was doing to her. She felt the need to move her hips to direct Regina's attention and grew frustrated when her lover not only ignored her request but used her free hand to restrict her movement.

"Regina," Emma eventually begged. "Please." To increase the chances of her request being fulfilled Emma used her only hand to squeeze Regina's ass, moving her body impossibly closer to her own.

"Impatient," Regina playfully scolded as she finally removed her focus from Emma's now swollen and overly sensitive bud. She kept her eyes focused on the longing green ones that stared back as she used her fingers to brush lightly over Emma's folds, assessing her blonde's readiness. When she discovered her fingers were covered in her wife's juices without any penetration, she understood Emma had, in fact, been patient. Regina enjoyed Emma's reaction as she made her wait even longer as she licked her Savoir-essence covered fingers with agonizing melodrama. Emma felt the burning desire increase and, after releasing a small moan, waited as she sensed Regina would eventually give her what she needed.

Regina watched Emma's reaction as she felt no resistance as she entered her wife with two fingers. Emma didn't even flinch. When Regina added a third, she felt Emma react, both in a reflexive movement and with a subtle grown. Regina used her thumb to gauge the sensitivity of bundle of nerves that settled in the neat blonde curls. The intense buckling of Emma's hips and closing of her wife's eyes, combined with an attempt to contain a loud cry at the desired contact, told Regina it was where Emma wanted her attention the most. She lowered her body and lightly blew cool air over the needy area which caused Emma to grip the bed sheet into a tight ball; her hips raising so high Regina almost lost her balance.

Regina, in turn, placed her left arm across Emma's hips, covered Emma's bundle in its entirety with her mouth, and began a slow, methodical pace, pumping her fingers in and out of her wife, curling her fingers during each extraction. She used her tongue to swirl circles over Emma's clit, enjoying how her wife tried to writhe below her. She finally noticed Emma wasn't syncing her rhythm with her, to deepen the sensation her fingers could provide. When she looked at Emma, she looked more confused than pleasured.

"Emma, look at me," Regina instructed, never ceasing her rhythm. "You're okay, just relax; there's no pressure to feel anything, just enjoy what you are," Regina assured as she used her chin to keep the stimulation of Emma's clit sustained. Their eyes met, and Emma gave a slight nod before she stared back at the ceiling. "Do you want me to stop?" Regina asked immediately concerned. Her wife had never responded to her touch this way.

"No," Emma said breathlessly. "It's just… I don't remember. It feels weird, but in a good way," Emma tried to explain. She was terrified that she wasn't going to be able to come for her wife, something she sensed would be worse than no sex at all. She couldn't recall ever having this problem before. She was searching her brain for a solution.

"The more you relax and ride the sensations, the better it will feel. Don't overthink it, just do what feels natural," Regina tried to reason, unsure of what the problem really was. But Emma was already looking less distressed at her words, and she gave an encouraging moan as Regina pumped and curled once more.

Regina returned her focus to the ministrations her tongue was providing as she continued to pump her fingers at a steadily increasing pace. Regina had almost resigned herself to not being able to relax her wife sufficiently when suddenly Emma started moving in sync, increasing the depth Regina could obtain. When Emma's hand forced Regina's head impossibly closer to her clit, Regina knew her wife was close. They built an increasing rhythm; the pace causing a burn in Regina's wrist as she maintained her focus on Emma's nerves, interspersing her gentle circular movements with forceful ones. Regina could feel Emma peaking, her walls starting to contract. Regina released Emma's puckering hips and grabbed Emma's hand.

"Magic," she called breathlessly to her wife and once Emma connected, Regina gave Emma's clit final hard suck in time with a forceful thrust that caused both women to cry in pleasure at the well-blended orgasm. Regina raised her head to admire her thoroughly spent wife, who was panting excessively before her. Slowly, she removed her coated fingers and shuffled her way up the bed, so their faces were level, and waited for Emma to open her eyes as she recovered. Regina studied Emma's expression, which changed from bliss to discomfort and began to panic as Emma continued to breathe heavily.

"Emma? Are you okay?" Regina asked, immediately concerned. Emma nodded in response, as she tried to even her breathing. "That's it. Deep, slow breaths," Regina encouraged as she relaxed, realizing she had forgotten that Emma's lungs simply still needed longer to recover from extreme exertion. Moments later, Emma's eyes fluttered open and with a relaxed, satisfied expression looked longingly into the brunette's eyes.

"Wow," Emma summarized.

"Yes, Miss Swan, that was rather… amenable," Regina teased, as she slowly licked her fingers before tenderly kissing Emma so that she could taste herself. Regina had to show restraint; the blonde was still breathing at an increased rate. The flavor, though, aroused Emma from the stupor she was about to enter, and she surprised Regina by twisting more to her right and lifting herself up.

"Mrs. Claus is a naked goddess," Emma remarked as she appreciated the brunette that was lain on her side, still licking her fingers. Emma shifted her weight once more so she could swing her left leg over her wife's hips. The movement made Regina lie flat, ensuring both their cores would connect as Emma found her favorite position in the world. In doing so, though, her left arm flopped uncontrollably, grazing Regina's toned abdomen before hanging by Emma's side. The blonde initially didn't notice and lowered to grasp Regina's lips, eager to taste herself mixed with Regina once more. Using her right arm for balance, the left continued to flail around, breaking Emma's concentration as she rose, leaned back, so she was once again sitting straddled across her wife, and stared at the limb.

"Well. That's not go-ing to work," Emma said with a thoughtful sigh.

"Doesn't bother me," Regina said as she began stroking both of Emma's lower arms.

"Well, it's not exactly attractive. I won't be able to balance myself either…" Emma contemplated as if she was thinking of Regina as some form of a puzzle. "Huh," Emma commented as she sat further back on Regina's thighs. "Is it me? Is there an obvious way to do both at the same time that I can't see?"

"Emma relax. I think you're beautiful. We don't even need to do anything else tonight. I felt yours; I'm all set," Regina assured, unable to read Emma's perplexed expression. Emma started to cry as she looked like she was faced with an impossible decision. "Hey, it's okay, we'll figure it out," Regina soothed as she sat up to hold Emma's face in her hands. "No crying darling."

"I don't know how," Emma admitted, fighting back the tears. "I can't figure out the steps," Emma began, her demeanor desolate. "How did you do that? Fuck!" Emma screamed, the complete change in emotion startling her wife.

"Shh, we will figure this out, just like with eating, showering, driving the car. We will find a way," Regina tried to encourage as she sought to hold her distraught wife. It had never occurred to her that Emma would hit a mental roadblock with how to have sex. It had been challenging enough for her to receive, let alone give. Regina wondered if Emma had just stressed herself to the point of not knowing or if her vagina was the biological equivalent of a spoon. Briefly, she mused that she would dye it blue if that would help.

"Sure, let's make wall chart for me," Emma cried as she started to sob uncontrollably. Regina was growing desperate. She hated that her wife had gone from complete elation to desolation in just a few minutes. She didn't need Emma to release her sexual tension; she needed Emma to be happy.

"Darling, look at me," Regina coaxed, her comforting tone getting Emma's attention instantly. "What do you want to do? The simplest, most basic thing," Regina asked, hoping the idea that had just come to her would be effective.

"Taste you," Emma said after little contemplation.

"Okay. Now, you do understand that I don't need anything from you, right? I'm not demanding that you… satisfy me. That would never be my intention," Regina prodded, knowing that Emma needed to fathom that her proposal, though mutually beneficial, wasn't for her personal gratification.

"Yes. But I want to... I want to reciprocate. I remember your face, your cries, that feel-ing that flows through your whole body... when... I'm your wife, Regina. I just can't… I'm star-ing at it, and my mind is blank. I know how to kiss you, what to do with these," Emma tried to clarify as she motioned toward Regina's breasts, "but the rest, it's like there's noth-ing there."

"Breathe for me, darling. I have an idea. All I need you to do is lie down, close to the headboard." At Emma's startled and confused expression Regina added, "trust me."

"You can fix this?" Emma asked desperately.

"Possibly, now scoot," Regina instructed with a smile emerging as she saw Emma regain a sense of hope, and her tears cease immediately.

After Emma had repositioned herself, her arousal quickly grew as Regina mounted her and initiated a tender kiss that Emma deepened by pulling Regina's head that much closer. Regina allowed Emma to control any progress and felt her blonde seek contact with her neck. As Emma sucked, she subconsciously began lightly stroking the side of Regina's breast, the combined sensations raising the brunette's libido instantly. Regina raised herself offering a needy hard nipple to Emma's mouth, surprised when after only a short pause Emma started to caress it gently with her tongue. Emma's hesitation and overthinking lead to incredible sensations that quickly brought Regina back to the peak arousal she had felt earlier. She was desperate for her blonde to touch her, finally.

"Magic," Regina commanded as she grabbed Emma's hand. "I'm going to help you, but stop whenever you want. I don't need you to do anything you don't want to or aren't ready for," Regina repeated. It was important to her that Emma felt no pressure.

"You're going to give me instructions?" Emma asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, if you need them. More significantly you will be able to feel your efforts," Regina said in a deep sexual voice. She then raised herself using the headboard for balance and positioned her glistening core over Emma's face. Her smile went wide as she heard Emma think her appreciation at the sight before her.  _Fuck me. Look how wet she is. It's the most beautiful sight I have seen. Am I supposed to touch it? Then do what exactly? Hmm, she has my hand._  "Taste me, Emma. Taste me now," Regina demanded, enjoying this bizarre opportunity to dominate. "Run your tongue along everything you can see."

Emma hesitated only for a moment, then felt sheer exaltation, savoring the flavor that was unmistakably Regina Mills as she took a long, slow lick along her entire entrance. As her flat tongue met Regina's swollen, desperate clit, she felt her magnificent wife recoil in pleasure both physically and mentally. Emma felt despondent when she sensed the wave of gratification end and Regina settle above her once more.  _Regina, please. What do I do?_

"Again," Regina begged rather than directed, her words becoming lost in moans. Hearing Emma enjoy her taste and feeling Emma come all over her earlier was enough for her to declare that this evening had been successful. As the Savior completed her new instructions, Regina was becoming desperate for sustained stimulation.  _Is this okay? Is this correct?_  Emma wondered as she independently began teasing Regina's sensitive bundle, feeling the desired sensations pulsate through her brunette.

"Yes," Regina instantly replied. Emma continued in this vain, curious what Regina would feel with different pressures, flat tongue, tip only, with and without alternating rhythms and directions. Regina found it completely intoxicating having Emma unintentionally dictate her forthcoming motions.

_I want to be inside you like you were me_ , Regina heard Emma contemplate. Her wife's mind was incredible, and even though Regina was close, and a moment of forceful pressure was all she needed to send her hurtling towards her own incredible orgasm, she was able to shift forward enough, so Emma's tongue was positioned below her opening.  _Straighten your tongue,_  Regina instructed through thoughts as her heavy breathing was making verbal instructions challenging. Emma's tongue entering Regina's wet core pleasured both women as the blonde instinctively went as deep as possible. Such was her penetration that her nose nudged against Regina's clit and with a coordinated tempo it was less than a minute before Regina's walls shuddered around Emma's tongue, her essence flowing down the blonde's chin as the brunette cried out, struggling not to collapse on her wife. Emma instinctively licked Regina's folds and reflexively placed a gentle kiss on the sensitive nerve bundle. Regina broke their magical connection as she placed both hands on either side of Emma's head and shifted her body down, so she half lay on her wife's left side. She relished her own taste as she tenderly licked Emma's chin clean, who looked at her lazily through glassed eyes.

"That was... different," Emma commented through complete exhaustion.

"Certainly more conversational than I remember. I'm confident that in the entirety of the first week we were dating, we said fewer words than that combined," Regina threw at the blonde with a telling smile.

"Well, th-ings are different now. Maybe I enjoy the ability to speak more," Emma volleyed as she shook herself slightly to stay awake. "We have to do this more often," Emma thoughtfully added as she turned to look at Regina. "I need the repetition to learn," she added mischievously.

"Yes," Regina concurred breathlessly. "Although, you caught on near the end."

"You'll need to remind me," Emma continued as she started stroking Regina's hair, wondering where the Santa hat had ended up.

"I think that can be arranged." Regina teased as she turned to pick up Emma's iPad. In the section titled 'Key things to know and do today', Regina typed at the top of the list:  **Have sex with your wife. Often. With less talking.**  Regina tossed it back on the nightstand and saw Emma's eyes start to flutter, while her face remained frozen in a half-smiling stupor.

"Thank you, that was genius," Emma garbled. "I love you so much," Emma added, her hand motioning for Regina to return to her rightful place next to her.

"I love you more today than ever before," Regina whispered as she rested her head atop of Emma's beating heart.

Perfect days may not exist, but there are perfect moments that you remember for the rest of your life.


	27. A Warm Day in March

Regina traced her finger down the bridge of her wife's nose, receiving great enjoyment as she saw it crinkle at the tickling touch. Baxter padded in her wake adding his usual jingle and beat to the morning's proceedings.

"Wake up for me darling," Regina coaxed, as she placed her wife's morning coffee in an Emma-approved cup on the nightstand. Emma mumbled in response before burrowing into her pillow further. Regina lowered herself, so when Emma opened her eyes, she would be directly looking into hers. "Emma?" she prompted again.

"Five more minutes, Regina," Emma requested, although she already knew the game was over as she breathed in the aroma of the coffee blend that had, unknowingly, become her favorite. Baxter jumped back onto the bed, and when he began nuzzling at Emma's head, she finally conceded. With one eye Emma took in Regina's pantsuit and determined it was a weekday and she was most certainly running late for work already.

"Sorry darling, we have a schedule. I need you to get up now so we can all have breakfast together and none of us will be late for work, school, and/or our appointments," Regina affirmed as she stayed crouched in Emma's eyeline while the blonde processed where and ultimately when she was. Emma reached for Regina, desperate to taste her lips and mess up her perfect make-up just to antagonize the brunette as best she could. It was then she realized her left arm wouldn't move and she stared at Regina in confusion. Regina gave her a warm, sympathetic smile and reached for Emma's right hand. It was Baxter's tickling of her cheek with his whiskers that was the trigger today.

"Baxter?" Emma asked Regina.

"Baxter," Regina confirmed with a smile. Emma took a beat, looked around the room, analyzed her body, and finally laid her eyes back on Regina.

"It's okay," Emma said with a firm nod. "Every day?"

"Every day," Regina confirmed gently. "Are you okay to get washed and dressed, or do you want some help?" Regina obligatorily asked, even though she knew Emma would be more than capable today.

"No I can do it," Emma said as she pushed herself up and swung her feet over the side of the bed, shifting her left arm onto her lap. Regina offered Emma her coffee, which she accepted graciously. Regina could see her brain was working hard to process something. "What am I gett-ing dressed for? I assume I'm not the Sheriff anymore."

"No, you're not. Something suitable for exercise. You have PT with a dash of OT this morning. Rachel will be here soon to take you." Regina asserted, taking a chance to take in every feature of her wife's face.

"You realize that everyth-ing you just said was like brand new information, right?" Emma jested as Baxter tried to give Emma her iPad.

"Read that and then come have breakfast with us. I love you," Regina said, kissing Emma's head as she stood, then positioned Emma's walker, made sure Emma saw the wheelchair and walked towards the door.

"Regina..."

"Yes, darling?"

"This coffee is so delicious; it's to die for." Regina nodded with a strained smile. "What kind is it?"

"Ethiopian," Regina replied quietly, wishing for once she hadn't given Emma exactly what she would have wanted.

* * *

"Good morning Ma!" Henry said as Emma emerged from the bedroom in her chair.

"Morn-ing, Kid," Emma said with a smile as she followed the origin of the tantalizing aroma from the black coffee pot. She sat in front of it thoughtfully, holding her empty cup in her right hand. As she did this, Regina and Henry continued with their two-person breakfast preparation routine. The bowls and cereals were already on the table. Emma was distracted by their movements, which seemed synchronized as Regina placed glasses and Henry poured the orange juice within a single beat. Emma watched, mesmerized and her expression changed to one of sadness as she recalled that she too, once had a role to play in this dance. Now she just sat and observed and sensed she was in the way as Regina moved around her to get the spoons. This meal was still Regina's; it remained family time.

"Alexa. How do I get a cup of coffee?" Emma asked.

"Open your iPad, Emma. The instructions are loaded," the speaker replied. Baxter had the tablet ready, which delighted Emma and her smile grew wide as she realized that there were indeed clear instructions, with diagrams demonstrating how to pour the contents of the pot into her cup. She found that when she touched the screen, the images would move to clearer demonstrate the point. Regina and Henry shared telling grins as they saw Emma repeat the actions successfully.

Once at the table, Emma watched Henry eat his cereal as he read a comic and Regina consume her fruit salad as she read the paper. Emma held her blue spoon in mid-air as she contemplated the scene before her. Something didn't feel right.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked. "I feel tension from you both. Is it because we're not talking?" Emma asked feeling guilty.

"Nothing darling. Everything is perfect," Regina said as she gave Henry a look that indicated he best agree.

"Yeah Ma, we always read at breakfast now. We talk once we're done eating, about our day and such," Henry clarified.

"So, this is our new normal. Quiet morn-ing reflection?" Emma summarized.

"Not so much reflection as superhero action, Mom reads world news, and you eat," Henry said returning to eating rapidly in a failed attempt to act normal.

"I have a big meeting this morning, and Henry has a math exam later. Maybe that's the tension you're feeling?" Regina suggested.

"Yeah, math sucks," Henry supplied, aiding his mother's cover. "Who cares what X is equal to? Just use an online calculator and voilà, the answer is before you," he added with a theatrical flair. His overcompensation was making his behavior erratic.

"Okay," Emma reluctantly accepted as she felt Baxter's paw on her lap, breaking her attempt to calculate why her family seemed so peculiar to her. Instead, she glared into his hazel eyes which, combined with a tilt of his head, directed Emma back to eating her breakfast. It was only three mouthfuls later that she stopped as she once again became distracted from reading her cue card by her family.

"It must be frustrate-ing liv-ing with me," Emma said despondently as she acknowledged that no one looked at her or each other; both were entirely focused on their own world. The silence was deafening. "I don't like this," Emma added, her dissatisfaction growing.

"We always have breakfast like this; it works for us," Henry countered. "I'm gonna head out early," he announced as he consumed the rest of his meal at an indigestible pace. The tension had gotten to him too. "I love you, moms," he said as he all but ran out the door.

"That was not normal," Emma threw at Regina, who seemed unfazed by her son's dramatic exit.

"Teenagers," Regina shrugged in her attempt to disregard.

"Regina," Emma pleaded.

"I promise, everything is fine. Mornings can be hard for you, but it will get better as the day progresses. Trust me," Regina comforted as she rubbed Emma's hand. It wasn't a lie, mornings were hard for Emma, but her family hadn't helped on this occasion. Once again in trying to protect, they had harmed.

"Do you still love me, even though I'm like this?" Emma wondered aloud, her insecurities heightened.

"Emma, I love you more today than ever before. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. Ever." Regina forcefully said making sure Emma heard and accepted every word.

* * *

A knock at Regina's door told her it was twelve-fifteen. A consequence of Emma's brain injury was that she needed a solid routine to function, and with it came excellent timekeeping. Regina rose, opened her office door, and her heart filled with love when she saw her beautiful wife smile back. Her mood had clearly improved since breakfast; the adjustment to her new life complete for the day.

"Feeling tired?" Regina asked as she noted Emma was in her chair, something that was unusual in the middle of the day.

"It's snow-ing!" Emma said excitedly as she maneuvered her way in. "I didn't want to slip. Besides I want to conserve my energy for later," Emma teased as she popped the to-go cups on the table. "Granny told me to just give these to you; you'd know what to do with them," Emma commented with a shrug.

"Thank you, darling," Regina replied, brushing her lips against her wife's. "You should wear your hat if it's snowing," she added, noticing the snowflakes interlaced in her blonde hair. "Don't want you getting pneumonia again."

"Yes ma'am," Emma said with a fake salute as Baxter grabbed the paper bag containing their lunch and handed it to Regina.

"How was therapy this morning?" Regina prodded as she organized their meal, including transferring Emma's cocoa into her mug, while Emma shuffled from her chair to the comfortable couch.

"It was good I think. I rode the bike; did some stretches and Jane helped me walk better near the end by point-ing out I still wasn't always go-ing heel to toe. It's hard ya know," Emma replied in as casual a fashion as possible.

"I'm sure it is. Did you tell her your hip has been hurting more recently?" Regina asked as she nodded along; this was Emma's standard answer.

"Oh, yes. We did a bunch of stretches and stuff. She iced it afterward, but Jane recommended I take a bath, especially as we have ones with jets apparently." Even to Emma, it was evident that Regina cringed at the use of the world bath.

"Good. What about your hand; did you do some OT too?" Regina added trying to carry on with the conversation as if it were any other day.

"Regina…" Emma implored. Regina stopped and looked into Emma's eyes. "Are we going to do this dance all day? It would have made breakfast a lot easier if you just told me."

"You know the significance of the day?" Regina wondered as she paused her actions. "You remembered?" she added curiously after Emma gave a slight nod.

"No. Google calendar did. I'd like to think I would have worked it out, though, as everyone has been weird and clingy all day. My mom sent me this message," Emma said as she handed Regina her phone.

_I love you sweetheart. To have you here with us is everything._

"That's almost tame for Snow White," Regina said smiling. "You seem okay though?" she inquired, curious as to how Emma was seemingly dealing with this better than everyone else.

"I was unconscious for the most traumatic parts," Emma said deflecting. "I knew it happened in March, just didn't realize it was today until I read more. I've been prepar-ing for this. I wanted to give you someth-ing, as a sort of thank you for gett-ing me this far," Emma said thoughtfully. Then, after first checking the piece of paper she took from her pocket, she announced, "It's behind those curtains," and pointed to the set left of her wife's desk. Regina obediently rose and found the large brown paper wrapped package that had miraculously escaped her attention. Without opening it, Regina knew it was a painting based on its size and weight.

"This is why you wouldn't let me see your work recently?" Regina wondered as she sat down next to her enthusiastic wife.

"It's not perfect or anyth-ing, but until I can do better, I thought this could brighten up the office a little. All this white and black is a little… depress-ing? Masculine? Bitchy? You can choose. Seeing as you don't like to personalize the workplace with someth-ing as mundane as family pictures, this will hopefully subtly remind you of what you have at home. You can read the card later, just open it." Emma said bursting with anxiety, wondering if her wife would like her work.

Regina felt a few tears begin to form just at the words Emma had spoken. Baxter, in response, offered his paw in comfort. Emma appeared to be at ease.

"Just open it!" Emma demanded. Regina obliged and unwrapped the painting only to feel her lungs without air as she looked at the creativity Emma had employed to convey their marriage in a single idyllic scene. Emma had captured their apple tree, with a picnic basket, and blanket below. On it lay a single apple, with a bite taken out of it.

"Emma-" Regina began, mesmerized. "This is fabulous. The detail. I had no idea you had improved so much. I wish you didn't hide things like this from me," Regina said, her eyes still scanning the intricate brush strokes and color complexities and layers Emma had incorporated.

"So, you like it?" Emma asked trepidatiously. "And not just because I painted it, but actually like it?" Emma urged.

"Yes, darling. It is absolutely perfect," Regina said finally looking at Emma, showing tears had fallen down her cheeks. "Thank you."

"I thought it could go on that wall, so you can see it from your desk," Emma said trying to minimize the emotion of the moment. Regina placed the painting to the side and hugged her wife in an awkward side hug.

"I love you," Regina said at a volume so low Emma wasn't convinced she was supposed to hear it.

"I love you too. Now let's eat. I don't know about you, but all that exercise really got my hunger on." Emma said as she playfully nudged her wife's side.

* * *

It was the patter of Baxter's paws on the station floor that first alerted David his daughter had stopped by unannounced. His day had been like most others; a quiet office with not much but his book and slumbering son for company.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" David asked his daughter, trying to hide his delight.

"The Mayor has this paperwork for you," Emma said, handing David the stack that was on her lap.

"You didn't need to bring it here; I could have picked it up. Where is Rachel?" David asked, confused that she wasn't behind Emma.

"I told her you would take me home, or I'll magic myself there. I hoped I could hang out here for a while. My little bro is here right? Mom said-"

"Yes Ems, he's here, napping in the office; he'll be awake in about half an hour," David said, trying to read his daughter's mood.

"It's still quiet around here?" she asked, deflecting once more.

"Yeah. Since the excitement with the Well, not much has happened around here," David said as he motioned for Emma to make herself comfortable at his desk. He had yet to claim the office as his own and still sat at a desk in the central open area across from the cells. "Will Regina be okay with you sending Rachel home? That's not how the arrangement works," he prodded, still trying to assess why Emma was really there. He didn't mind, this just wasn't her routine.

"I think it's fine as long as I'm not alone," Emma added sadly. "Can you just act normal and play games with me until Henry is done with school? Then I'll go home with him and everyone will be happy that I'm supervised?"

"It's not normally like this. We're all just remembering," David said, his eyes twinkling with understanding and affection.

"Please Dad, distract me," Emma implored.

"That I can do. But instead of a game, want to help me digitize some of these old case files? A particular Mayor got us a new computer system that was just installed, and I don't really understand it," David asked his eyes pleading.

"Nice cover Dad, but yes, that sounds better than people being weird around me all day."

"Behave, and I'll let you calm down your screaming brother. Earn a gold star, and I'll even keep your mother away so you can avoid all kinds of smothering," he added with a wry smile. He knew how impossible Snow had been recently. He had seen thirty-four drafts of the text message before he approved of one she could send.

"Perfect. Thanks, Dad." Emma said genuinely, feeling the pressure that had been building recede.

* * *

When Emma realized earlier that day that it was a year since her drowning, she had decided that she wanted to set one wrong right and have the date Regina and she hadn't made it to that night. After Henry had driven her home, she excused herself to her bedroom and painstakingly gathered the outfit she was going to wear, although this time she chose sparkly flats instead of the killer heels. She selected a black dress for her wife; she adored Regina in black. After arranging the preferred attires side-by-side on the bedspread, she snapped a picture and with the caption 'Date night later? ;)' and sent it to the Mayor.

After walking while she did this, Emma's hip was beginning to ache, and she recalled Jane advising a jet bath would be ideal to loosen it up before stretching and icing it again. She wanted to feel mobile tonight. Emma rose and without much thought lavishly infused wild berry bubble bath to the tub as it filled. She returned to the bedroom to grab her phone when the enormity of the day finally caught up with her in one staggering blow. Her mind was flooded with images of her dress hanging on the wardrobe, being in the water, feeling the pain, tasting the soap. She remembered feeling what Regina had when she found her. She saw herself blue and dead. She didn't notice, but she had fallen to her knees panicking, gasping for air. Baxter's touch helped break the flashback, bringing Emma forward a year.

As Emma recovered, she sat pensively with her back against the bed as she remembered the events immediately before her drowning clearer than anything else in her mind. To her, they just happened. She looked at Baxter and felt her emotions rise. This life she had that they had rebuilt for her was a good one. Emma was mentally stuck, though, thinking of all she and everyone in her life had lost. Her brother was a toddler. She still considered him as a baby. Henry would one day graduate from high school, college, get married. To Emma, he would always be a teenager. Her mom and dad would grow old and eventually appear as strangers to her. As always when these thoughts occurred to Emma it was thinking of the future with Regina that made the blonde break. The dances they would never have, the laughter she would forget. How, with time, she would exist so far in the past that in the present, she was just a relic. Baxter's gentle nudge and soft licking of her tears only made her think of how one day her best friend wouldn't be here, and she wouldn't even remember that he existed.

"Ma?" Henry said.

"Hey, Kid," Emma said as she tried to hide her visible tears. She briefly considered how many times he must have found her like this; how much of his childhood she had deprived him of. He sat next to her without invitation and placed his head on her shoulder, resting his book on his lap.

"I love you Ma," Henry said as he rubbed circles into his mother's back. "I'll just go turn off the bath," Henry said as he stood, leaving his book behind. Emma recognized it sufficiently for her curiosity to be piqued and she began turning the pages.

"Operation Mama Bear?" Emma asked with remarkable composure for someone who had been weeping at the feeling of drowning and the sight of her dead body only moments ago.

"Yep. I was about to make an entry into it," Henry said once again sitting next to his mother. "I'm sorry I didn't fix this Ma," Henry pointedly said as Emma stopped on pictures of her time at rehab.

"Fix what Kid?" she absentmindedly asked as she focused on a picture of her and Lauren; her mind flooding with fragmented moments she was trying to reconcile.

"Everything. If I had been the author..."

"Stop. Promise you'll never apologize for that ever again; to yourself nor me. You made an instinctive decision. Act-ing on your emotions is someth-ing you got from both of us. Just because the outcomes of certain things would have been different, doesn't mean it was the wrong decision," Emma emphatically stated as she brought her son closer.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to let it go Ma. I've tried. I've had a whole year to accept the things I cannot change. I feel like I ruined your life. Mom's too. You both suffer. All the time," Henry confessed. No amount of technological gadgets would ever equal what he could have given.

"Say you could rewrite history. Then I would never have left town, we would never have known about the rift, so we wouldn't be try-ing to find a solution to fix it," Emma reasoned. It was a well-established argument she and Archie had discussed to help Emma cope with her belief in fate.

"I could just have written, 'And the rift was healed'," Henry pointed out.

"And who knows what the consequences of chang-ing so much would do. You would never know where to stop. Magic always comes with a price, Henry. Always. I would never want you to pay it," Emma said sincerely, noticing she had made her son cry, the breaking point occurring when she used his Christian name. "We might be heroes, Kid. But we aren't special. Life isn't a fairytale. It's real and hard. But we have each other. The day you came to Boston and got me, I feel like that's when my life began. Everyth-ing I have is because of you."

"Okay," Henry murmured. He had always had his mother's forgiveness, but never so eloquently. "I'll find a way to let it go, eventually."

"Besides, this is going to be worse for you when you have to teach me how to use the house robot 3000 every time you come home." Henry glared at his mother. "The future, Kid. The future."

* * *

Regina was trying to work diligently on the paperwork before her, but she found her mind wandering in reflection. Her distraction would always end in admiring the one splash of color that had just been infused into the room. Feeling weary, Regina sipped the forgotten cup of coffee Emma had brought with their lunch, only to discover that it had, once again with time, gone cold. She laughed to herself as she went to heat the cup with a little magically facilitated energy transfusion.  _Best not_ , Regina mused. It was then she removed her phone to text Emma to find she had received one. Regina stared at the image and marveled at her wife's request. Emma didn't need protecting. She was dealing better than the rest of them combined.

_Bit cold darling?_ Regina replied hoping for light, playful banter to end her less than productive work day.

Regina smiled, waiting for a response that never came. Emma often sent messages, laying her phone on a surface afterward, forgetting she had even started a conversation. A lack of answer was not a new occurrence. However, it always made Regina uneasy. She could never let the restlessness of not knowing where Emma was at all times leave her. It was always there niggling away. Today was just a date on a calendar. There was nothing in itself unique about it. Emma was the same today as she would be tomorrow. Their lives were stable. It was a futile mental game; rationalization wasn't going to win. She wanted to be home prematurely with her wife.

"I thought you might want out early today, so I just need your signatures on these. Belle, and I will finish up," Claire calmly stated as she produced several papers for Regina to sign. The Mayor managed to mask the fact her assistant had startled her from a rare moment of day-dreaming. Regina looked at the clock that seemed to have been stationary all day to discover it was after four and that yes it was an acceptable time for her to leave and be home with her wife. It was a far more pleasing option than being here drafting a rebuttal to a proposal to pass legislation legalizing twenty-four-hour beer taps.

"Thank you. I am rather anxious to get home this evening," Regina remarked with an appreciative smile. She barely read the forms that she then signed.

"Shall I ask Belle to take your 9 AM tomorrow?"

"Yes, that would be helpful," Regina said already standing and gathering her personal items.

"Oh, and this was in the papers you handed me earlier, it must have gotten mixed up in them earlier this afternoon," Claire said as she handed back the note Emma had given Regina with the painting.

"Thank you, I was looking for that." It was then Regina heard her phone ring. "Henry," Regina asked, immediately concerned.

"Ma is gone. She was in her rec room, and when I came to check on her, she was gone. I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry," Henry blasted completely frazzled.

"Henry, calm down. Tell me what happened," Regina said, signaling Claire should give her privacy as she placed Henry's call on speaker phone so she could gather her coat and gloves.

"We talked about stuff, and she seemed okay and said she wanted to be alone with my book for a while and now she's not here. She's not in the house, neither is Baxter," Henry continued, though not providing Regina with much information. However, she didn't need it.

"I know where she will be; I'll bring her home. I'll call if I can't find her okay?" Regina said, already buttoning her coat. As Regina hastily departed in a swirl of magic, she left the note Emma had written forgotten and unopened on her desk.

* * *

Regina materialized behind the large oak tree that stood a few feet from the Magical Well of Evil. Henry's anxiety had heightened her own. She hadn't even debated if she should go to Emma, or allow the blonde more time to return home of her own accord when she was ready. She had evidently needed space. The reality, however, was that Regina was always overanxious for Emma's safety and as twilight fell over the town and the temperature plummeted, she couldn't contain her concern to give Emma even five minutes more to return home. She felt her decision to intrude was vindicated as she saw Emma sitting with her back against the Well, complete with a vacant stare. Baxter seemed to be slightly shivering as he sat obediently by her side.

"Emma?" Regina tentatively asked as she approached. The blonde didn't respond to her wife's call as Regina noticed she was holding the hard copy of 'Operation Mama Bear'. "Emma?" Regina prodded again, closing the gap between them. Emma's stoic nature only continued as Regina removed her right glove and felt how cold Emma's skin was. She spotted Emma's chair, abandoned a few feet away and advanced hoping she would find the gray tabby hat and the light blanket she had put in there several days ago. Smiling as she found the items, she quickly pulled the hat on Emma's head and covered her blonde and her dog in the blanket that she magically warmed. Finally, she sat next to Emma, her back too against the Well as she reached for Emma's hand.

"I'm fine," Emma muttered.

"I thought things were better?" Regina inquired gently, searching for the signs she had missed that Emma was once again struggling.

"They are. You didn't need to come."

"Yes, you seem perfectly fine," Regina quipped as she sent a little more magic into Emma as she was far from satisfied with the blonde's core temperature.

"Thanks for the warmth. I suppose I was cold. Perhaps I'll make being a human popsicle an annual tradition. You know, something to mark the day," Emma said flippantly as her gaze lowered to the hardback in her hand. "Henry was reading the book. I asked him for it."

"Was it helpful?" Regina probed. Its effects on Emma's moods were often unpredictable. However, Emma apparently wanted to talk about its contents, so Regina wanted to listen.

"I'm better off than a lot of people in here. I should feel lucky," Emma said, never raising her gaze.

"But you don't?" Regina wondered trying to understand the shift in her wife's perceptions since they had enjoyed lunch together.

"I have no idea how I feel; it's why I wanted to be alone," Emma said unable to make eye contact with her wife. Emma, however, felt the pressure of Regina's silence to say something. Anything that would elaborate. "I'm happy that I didn't die. I feel like I have accepted that I am not the person I was. I'm not the person I wanted to be for you, for us, for our life. I'm try-ing to let go of the Emma I used to be," the blonde confessed despondently bringing little validity to her words.

"Did something happen since I last saw you to explain where all these emotions are coming from?" Regina pressed, desperate to understand her wife.

"I felt it, drown-ing. How you felt when you found me. I'm selfish, and I didn't ask at lunch how you are. Does it feel better now?" Emma asked, still staring downwards. To Regina, she looked like a scolded child seeking redemption.

"It does. It doesn't feel good, but it does feel better," Regina said, her emotions swelling as she sensed the anguish emanate from Emma. Something she hadn't felt so powerfully in months. "Emma, I didn't marry you for our plans, our future. I married you for our present and knowing I wanted you to always be there. You make everything better, the best and the worst moments. Despite all of this, that hasn't changed. My life, it begins, and it ends with you," Regina said as she pulled Emma's body impossibly close to her own.

'Okay," Emma accepted, for her superpower didn't ring any alarms.

"Emma, why do you come here every day? There are a lot of places, warmer places, you could go to think," Regina observed, causing Emma's features to crinkle in confusion. Regina had let it slip that she knew Emma spent about an hour here each afternoon. "Your brain doesn't help with secret keeping. You've trailed mud into the house on your chair, and there was a lot of non-painting time that Rachel could never account for," Regina pointed out.

"You've been spy-ing on me?" Emma asked, still perplexed, despite Regina's brief explanation.

"When you started coming here, yes I did. Or your dad would. To be sure you were safe when your magic was unpredictable. But recently, no, I haven't come. I'm only here today because our son told me you were upset. For that reason, I was worried. I don't ever want you to suffer alone. That and it's dark. You always come home before it gets dark."

"Oh. Sorry. I guess I lost track of time," Emma acknowledged as it appeared she was only now realizing the natural light was minimal. She was unfazed by Regina knowing her whereabouts. She wouldn't have been shocked to learn Regina had a GPS tracker on her.

"Are you ready to go home?" Regina hopefully asked. The Mayor was desperate to hold Emma by their fire and never let her go.

"No," Emma said forcefully as she indicated the Well behind her.

"Are you feeling something from the Well? I don't sense anything," Regina queried as she concentrated on the stone structure, wondering if there was something about it that drew Emma to this spot. Something other than the horror and nightmares of the creatures that she had once released on the town.

"You don't? I do. It's just a tingle, but the darkness is still there. That's how I know it's not closed. Regardless, if I leave, it will be wide open again." Regina nodded quietly. She too had been thinking about how to find a solution to permanently heal the rift. At times, it was all she concerned herself with.

"Must be because it's connected to you," Regina considered to herself. She had concluded that it was a combination of guilt and duty that brought Emma here, not a magical connection.

"Who knows when the next time will be when I fall, and it will open again, condemn-ing everyone I love to liv-ing in a hell dimension," Emma added thoughtfully.

"Next time?" Regina asked raising her eyebrows.

"Let's face it, I'm a clumsy idiot," Emma added with a smile. "All I'm try-ing to say is that my life, our life, is a form of hell. I live in the knowledge that if I have another accident, or years from now if I die of old age, this will happen again. I can't be at peace until this is over," Emma said. "Yet, if I hadn't drowned, we would never have known. It's a lot to think about. I'm just lost, Regina."

"Emma, we will find a way. I promise we will. Heroes always find a way," Regina tried to soothe.

"No, Belle said it has to be my magic. I need to be the Savior one last time. I just don't know how to fix it. I don't feel weak anymore. I don't think I'm going to suddenly have more light magic months from now," Emma said, her head shaking in near desolation.

"You've been using your magic to try and close the Well?" Regina asked, shocked. Based on Emma's first attempt to magically heal the rift, she couldn't believe Emma would try it again without back-up. She could only seethe for a few seconds, for she knew Emma didn't understand actions and consequences as she once had.

"Yes. I get so far and then I feel like there is a barrier I can't cross. Like it needs energy I don't have. I'm scared Regina, I'm terrified that the price of clos-ing it is that I will die," Emma said finally looking directly into the brunette's eyes.

"Emma. Do you think all you need is more light magic?" Regina wondered, berating that she hadn't seen something so obvious previously. That none of them had.

"Yes, I don't think I'm powerful enough." Emma's voice was recovering, confiding in Regina had already lifted the burden significantly.

"The light inside me is you," Regina stated plainly.

"What?"

"The light inside me is you. Literally."

"Your light magic is mine?" Emma asked still having not caught up.

"Emma, my love for you is where it comes from. It grew from you." Without waiting for Emma to reply, Regina stood and offered her hand to pull the blonde to her feet. Reluctantly Emma took the proffer and with a small stumble into her wife's torso, Emma stood next to her. "Is there a spell or anything?" Regina asked as the pair peered into the Well, seeing nothing but the mundane.

"Did you use one all summer?" Emma threw back. She was smiling, her soul was filled with hope. She wasn't alone.

"So, on three, blast it with as much light magic you have. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work." Regina reasoned. The blonde nodded excitedly.

"One, two, three," Emma counted. Both women focused their attention down into the depths of the Well, creating a blast of white light that was so bright neither could stare directly at it. Emma felt her heart rate increase; she had never pushed herself this hard when she was alone. It didn't seem safe, she could hear screams and start to feel torture ruminate through her body as the remaining darkness pushed back against her magic. It was fighting to not get annihilated. It only lasted seconds before she gave the last of her magical reserves, the screaming ceasing, the torture ending. The feeling of warmth and love covered her. Regina. Regina in a white dress.

"EMMA!" Regina screamed as she saw Emma's magic terminate and her wife crumple forward, her torso hanging over the well. Regina gathered Emma's body, holding her in her arms on the forest floor. The blonde lay limp as Regina tried to find a pulse, hear breathing. She relaxed instantly when she heard Emma mumble incoherently below her. Immediately she flooded her magical reserves into Emma, the blonde's eyes fluttering open within seconds. She hadn't even noticed Baxter's attempts to intervene.

"Did it work?" Emma weakly asked as she tried to raise herself.

"Easy, I know how it feels to run out of magic," Regina begged as she lowered her head into Emma's shoulder. The truth was Emma had recovered faster than Regina, whose heart was still racing.

"It worked! I don't feel it!" Emma exclaimed as she hovered her hand over the Well, after clambering to her feet, desperate to feel anything. "There's nothing," she said excitedly as she continued to catch her breath. "I love you," Emma added forcefully as she lowered herself to the floor, before crashing her lips into Regina's unsuspecting ones.

"You're okay?" Regina asked after she broke the passionate embrace checking Emma over instinctively.

"You know I'm fine, you can feel me," Emma said trying to downplay the enormity of what they had accomplished. The deflection was only temporary as Emma then collapsed into Regina's body, overcome with relief. "It's safe, it's safe, it's safe," The Savior chanted.

"You did it, Emma," Regina said as she held her rocking wife, kissing her forehead tenderly.

"We did it," Emma said as her emotions started to be expressed by exhausted tears that she couldn't hold back.

"It's all okay now, darling," Regina tried to soothe. "It's all okay." Emma melted further into Regina's arms as a light dusting of snow fell on the pair. Regina relished getting to hold Emma as she literally felt her burden be lifted from her. Her wife was finally free.

"Then let's go on the date we never got to have," Emma whispered as she looked longingly into Regina's warm eyes. "Nice food, a little wine, a fire maybe. Then just see where the night takes us," Emma teased, her recovery accelerated by the magic Regina was still sending her. She was almost strong enough for Regina to be satisfied and use her magic to take them home instead of restoring the blonde's magical energy.

"Alas, our presence is required elsewhere," Regina admitted reluctantly. There was nothing she wanted more than to spend the evening alone with Emma.

"But-"

"You are the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Both of whom love the pomp and circumstance that comes with being royalty. Which to them includes social gatherings to celebrate any event."

"They're throw-ing me a 'glad you didn't die' party?" Emma asked, her eyes wide in horror.

"Living with Lauren did have its effect on you. But fundamentally, yes. We don't have to go if you'd rather not. I sure I can say 'she's tired from saving all of you again'," Regina reasoned.

"No no, the need of the many outweigh those of the few. Do we have to go right now?" Emma said, pouting slightly.

"We have time to shower, get changed." Regina calculated after consulting her watch.

"How about a bath together?" Emma countered.

"If we must," Regina teased, her eyes showing her hunger.

* * *

"Do we really have to do this?" Emma asked with a whine as the Swan-Mills clan pulled up outside Granny's.

"Your parents wanted a big surprise party. I thought a quiet family dinner here was a fair compromise," Regina countered, impressed that both she and Henry had managed to get the blonde here. Her reluctance had only increased after returning from the forest.

"Fine but I find this 'family gather-ing' a little morbid and distasteful," Emma said, desperate for this portion of the evening to pass so she could spend the remainder of her night with her wife as she had intended.

Emma found it odd that Granny's was bustling with tables of three and four people. Each seemed to be a different stage of their meal and focused on their own conversations. She wondered if some areas of town had lost power and people had come here for respite. She noted that people hadn't stopped their conversations as she entered.

Snow engulfed Emma in an awkward hug around her walker as she screamed 'sweetheart!' upon her arrival. David had been the ever charming, calm father he had always been, pacifying Snow when she got too attentive or inquisitive about Emma's well-being after her encounter at the Well. Even for news pertaining to the town's everlasting safety, it had traveled a little fast for Emma's liking. She searched for signs that something was amiss. However, the meal progressed like any other that she could remember. Snow irritated Regina, and in return, the Mayor used facial expressions to convey her discontent with dramatic effect. Henry seemed to be distracting himself by giving all his attention to Neal.

Emma watched the townsfolk come and go from the dinner. Granny appeared to be doing a roaring trade in hot beverages this evening, with everyone coming in and out for refills. Most nodded towards their table, but this wasn't unusual, for the Sheriff, Mayor, and Savior were all there.

"Emma, are you okay? You suddenly look pale," Regina asked on high alert. "Does your head hurt, feeling weak, nauseous?" Before Emma could even blink the back of Regina's hand was on her forehead.

"I'm fine. Its just...someth-ing doesn't feel right. I feel like someth-ing is going on here, and you're not tell-ing me what it is," Emma said as she swatted Regina's hand away. The blonde did look perplexed to the point of pain.

"Sweetheart, we didn't plan this. We intended to have a quiet celebration dinner with you. But everyone in town found out we were going to be here tonight, and that's why they are all here. This was decided before people learned of what you did today. Everyone wants to celebrate that you are well and here with us," Snow clarified with slow deliberate words.

"People just wanted to see me?" Emma asked her family completely baffled.

"Yes. One day you will realize that you're not just special Emma, you're extraordinary," Snow added, her own tears falling as she saw Emma finally try to understand how much people here needed her.

"At that table is Betty with her husband and son. She looked after you in the ICU. The girl, Maggie, next to Whale, she helped you at night. Those guys at the back table, they built your bedroom. Over there is Emily, Henry's girlfriend, and her sister." David pointed out. "It's not just your family at this table that love and support you, Emma. Storybrooke does," He added, unable to maintain the emotional restraint he had earlier as it was apparent that for once Emma was somewhat accepting who she was in their world. Regina felt Emma grip her hand tightly.

"After a party was vetoed, the town got together to give you a moment that you will hopefully remember. A moment from the town to say thank you for everything you have done to keep us safe, our lives stable." Snow added.

"Is everything set up?" David asked Hood as he came through the door.

"Yes. M'lady," Hood bowed before Emma and offered his arm to guide her outside.

Emma obediently shuffled her way out of the diner to see the street completely lit up with twinkling white lights. A small brass band filled the still air with a rendition of 'Wild World'. Everyone had exited the diner and had started lighting sparklers behind the Savior and began singing. Fireworks of innumerable colors filled the clear night sky. Emma could barely stand as she struggled to know where to look next. She felt Regina's steadying hands wrap around her waist. The moment was complete.

* * *

When Regina entered their bedroom after closing the house down for the night, Emma was standing before her, sling-free, her curled hair bouncing, in the red dress.

"Just as though noth-ing happened," Emma taunted as she flicked her hair with her right hand.

"You look beautiful," was all Regina was able to say in response.

"It's not exactly the date we never had, but happy anniversary," Emma remarked. "I wanted to wear this for you."

"I'm sorry we never got that date," Regina said sincerely as she took her wife's waist in her arms once more.

"Don't be. Because it is a happy anniversary. I didn't die. You saved me," Emma said as she started to cry.

"Emma-" Regina coaxed using her thumb to not let Emma's tears fall.

"Happy tears. I don't think I could feel happier than I do right now," Emma said as she took Regina's lips with hers.

"I'd like to test that theory," Regina teased as she pushed her wife onto the bed, her intentions clear.

* * *

When Regina returned to work the next morning, she finally opened the handwritten note that had accompanied the painting. It wasn't the penmanship that she admired most. It was the honesty, the beauty, the acceptance that laced Emma's words that led her to frame it. In the silver casing, it sat on her desk, constantly reminding Regina how, on a day in March, her wife had once felt. Even when she saw blonde curls, a red apple, a chocolate labrador, it was those words she heard resonate through her mind. The words of her Savior.

**My queen,**

**With the passing seasons, sometimes it looks hopeless, without life. In time, it breathes again, thriving anew. Constant evolution and adaptation. It's the only way to survive.**

**Love, always, your princess.**

* * *

The End.


	28. Acknowledgements

I know that it is not customary to have an acknowledgments chapter, but like most significant endeavors in life I didn't do this alone and my overwhelming gratitude needs to be adequately expressed.

I wish to begin with each of you: the hundreds of readers who came back every week to absorb the latest chapter. I had no idea if anyone would ever read this story, let alone follow/favorite or review. I never expected so many of you to send me PM's to tell me how this story resonated with, and touched your lives in very real and personal ways. I honestly cherish each and every one of them and privately hold them close to my heart. Although I appreciate every single person who read this story - your constant support motivating me to keep writing and not procrastinate - there are a few who I want to thank personally.

To  **The Writer-2012**  and  **ArchivingFF**  who reviewed every single chapter: I thank you for such amazing continued and dedicated support. You both had incredible insight, appreciating everything from the character development to the chapter titles.

To  **Spurboy**  and  **SomeoneToFallBackOn**  who gave some advice to make the narrative stronger, I thank you for the depth to which you read and analyzed this story.

To s **wanqueenwhispers**  who always took the time to quote lines back to me and letting me know I had written something special.

To  **Ralieber**  aka swanqueen-fanfic over on tumblr for recommending my story to your followers. I'm sure that's how some came to find this piece. It's a great resource  _a_ nd you should all check it out!

And finally, to two wonderful reviewers who took the time to let me know you were still right there with me from the beginning to the end:  **live2learn2live**  and  **southtrash.**

Please understand that doesn't mean I don't appreciate every single comment I received (I reply to them all so I hope you know much I treasured every review). This chapter was close to just being a long list of names! I didn't grasp until I was on this side of experience how much it means to just receive "wow" from a guest reviewer. So many of you found this fic and told me frequently how you enjoyed it or how it made you cry (sorry, but not sorry). Each comment really does make a writer's day. Therefore, anyone that left a review, as a thank you, I'd be more than happy to write a prompt for you if you desire. Depending on the interest, it might take a while, but I will get to it!

Writing such an emotional piece and putting it on the internet like this was incredibly daunting. The fandom is so passionate (rightfully so) that I was somewhat trepidatious to enter this community so boldly. I can't believe I even contemplated not doing so. You are all such wonderful and welcoming people (the few who told me to f-off, well there are always a few). So, I thank you for being so gracious to a newbie.

Finally, I need to thank my best friend PJ who introduced me to the show a year ago. She was there after I got some hate PM's, picked me up when my confidence was low, and made me continue when I was too lazy to want to spend my weekends writing. She gave up so much of her time to beta this story. She sat with me for four hours one Sunday afternoon and helped draw a floorplan of the rehab center and pick a location on a map (because... details!). I really could go on forever, and after reading this story you know I am not exaggerating.

I underestimated the time and effort writing fan fiction requires. It's all-consuming. In the end, it was worth it and I am grateful for all of you who came on this journey with me.

I wish each of you a happy, healthy, and successful 2017.

Until next time…

B


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